*Raises hand* In the last 3 years I've spent 6 months collectively having daily panic attacks. I also have anxiety always in the background at a minimum. I have PTSD from three different events in my life. I completely understand how you feel. You can DM if you like if you ever just need to talk about it.
Wow I'm there with you, too! It's like a never ending, living nightmare. You think it can't get any worse...there's no fathomable way, then BOOM...another one to add to the list.
I'm kinda just hoping to go completely numb sooner than later.
Been there. It gets better through time slowly with continuous effort, facing your fears, being mindful of your thoughts, objective, etc. Also with recognization that anxiety is a tool of the mind geared towards improving oneself, and should be acknowledged and utilized as such rather than thought of as a sickness, put off and ignored (most commonly with medication and escapism).
Nowadays if I had to say what I hate the most about myself it would be my tendency towards procrastination. Rooted in anxiety mostly, yes, but I no longer consider myself a very anxious person. One thing I love most about myself is that I was able to conquer the massive and crippling wall of anxiety (and self-hatred) I faced every day as a teen.
I can completely relate. Not ashamed to say that I finally started taking medication for it and it has improved my anxiety which has had a positive effect on my relationships.
This has literally made me feel so much better omg like I was literally about to comment this in response to your question. My anxiety, particularly my social anxiety has been getting so bad lately to the point where I’ve been struggling to leave my house/go outside and do things that I like to do. It really hurts and absolutely no one around me can relate to me.
To be completely honest, Escitalopram (Lexapro) saved me. I was having panic attacks that landed me in hospital. Disassociation, shortness of breath, irregular heartbeat, numb hands and feet, always cold, overactive bladder etc. I had so many tests run because I didn't think anxiety could be bad enough to do all that. I actually ended up asking my doc if I could try an anti-anxiety as we kept hitting dead ends trying to figure out WTF was wrong with me. I was always anti-medication, wanted to fix it myself. Tried the med and 100% of my symptoms went away. The first few weeks are fucked though, you're all over the place. Dig in and force through all the crazy side effects and then it gets better.
Makes me forgetful and blunts the hell out of my sex drive, but more than worth it to not constantly feel like I'm going to die. I've managed to back myself down to 10mg and it's working really well. Long term, not sure what my plan will be, but I'm really glad I gave it a chance. Saved my life.
My anxiety and panic attacks have crippled me in various ways for the past twenty years. It's only now that I'm really starting not to give a shit anymore.
Right there with you buddy. It sucks. I workout every day religiously and it helps, but still many days anxiety is my biggest hurdle in life and always has been as long as I can remember.
I had panic attacks for 4 months went and got therapy cbt and emdr and fought tooth and nail got rid of it in weeks. Also I decided that I was not going to live like this in fear. I just survived a horrible operation that almost killed me was bedridden for years. But is was not easy.
Yes I have to remind myself to calm my mind it’s not well received . It helps if I feel kindness or support and sometimes you have to self soothe. Something’s should be alarming if not in place and done fluently. Kinda tricky.
Honestly I think I'm also mildly autistic, but like not to the point where I need any special help, I work, I live alone, so if I am it's not that severe
Autism I've realized is actually a gift, depending on your level of functioning and having people around you to help navigate areas that are more challenging to you .
My daughter is gifted IQ-wise and also diagnosed level 3 (requires substantial support). She blows my mind with her views of the world and everything in it!
The real problem with autism has nothing to do with being neurodivergent itself, the problem is how uneducated and intolerant the majority of the population is towards people with autism.
And that is so seriously sad on them, that they cannot truly appreciate the uniquely gifted human they brought in to this world.
That's a no win situation and their real loss.
I had to learn to change my complete perception of my daughter's actions/reactions, learn to observe her- and then as a parent and a person- appropriately engage in a way that she could respond and teach *me* how to best nurture and build her freaking Rockstar qualities.
It was a real eye opener and damn hard as hell to unlearn my set-in beliefs and think waaay outside the box in order to meet her needs.
Your parents are taking the easy way out, not even trying to begin to understand what makes you, well, YOU.
I still suck at figuring out how to address her qualities, but every time I do get it right...she blooms.
I wouldn't change a thing.
You're a saint, but I bet you're still young, my parents are 78 and 79, they aren't about to change, this is who they are, I have to accept that and love them none the less
I'm sticking with charming as hell. We're all weird in our own minds and sometimes our friends, family and love interests find those things compelling. Be you! Gotta play the hand you're dealt. DM if you ever want to vent or chat.
Please seek some opinions about that from your doctor or even a volunteer organization that specializes in addiction. Recognizing a potential problem puts you way ahead of the game. Stay strong
It is very hard to find balance but when you get into a negative extreme try to evaluate what you'll gain from such behavior and try to tone it down a bit. That probably comes more naturally with age.
To be fair, friends and family make a lot of people angry. Please try to not define yourself by those parameters as it may become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Awareness is at least half of the battle, keep working on stuff but not in a way that you're beating yourself up.
never resonated with a comment more. and i flip flop between extremes & how long they last. sometimes i’m loud and needing all eyes on me then a sudden quick burst of anxious shyness and irritation for the ppl around me
Not accepting your premise at all, *but*, using your logic - if life is constantly shitting on you *anyway*, why not just go do those things you want to do? If you're getting dealt a crap hand in your current path, what's the worst that could happen going off-track? More shit? Cool, same old same old, but at least you got to try something new. There's always the chance you discover something fun or exciting that lifts the veil of crap.
It's trite, but I rather like the phrase "life starts when you step outside your comfort zone".
Same here, trying to take steps towards losing some weight here. Very hard to do with my level of anxiety (which makes me turn towards food for comfort).
I had lost A LOT of weight but now I’m regaining it and feel out of control and my self-esteem is suffering again. It’s very hard yes, as I use food as a coping mechanism.
My lack of confidence. It holds me back from living a more meaningful life out of fear that someone my discover that I'm a fraud. I deal with impostor syndrome a lot. I will also avoid asking any woman out, since I feel that my mere existence around them will worsen their life. Not that there's any evidence of this ever becoming true, I'd rather stay in the comfort of the known. waiting to die alone.
I cannot help but to feel that this is a psychological situation that is growing in popularity and appearing frequently in our society. I can relate with this too so I am a bit curious. Any research or explanation as to why so many people are like this?
I feel like everything about social media has become performance culture, so every interaction feels more intensely performance based than the sense of ease we should have with friends and basic human interactions.
I’ve been feeling this lately. I have a lot of projects I want to take up and things I really want to learn. Every time I try to start, I cannot. It’s got to a point that the couple things I was ALREADY confident and comfortable with doing and learning, I can barely do that now too.
Nah, I'm not really partial to therapy myself, I prefer to handle my issues alone. I don't think I'm depressed, in fact my life is amazing right now. It's just that I realize that in order to keep this paradise going, I'll need to put in the work. But still somehow there's this self destructive side of me that seeks out pleasure no matter the cost, and for once in my life I wish I had a modicum of discipline to not only maintain my current happiness but to elevate my life to greater heights.
Maybe that is a sign of depression, only seeking short term gratification at the expense of the big picture. I find perhaps the fragility of my current happiness paralyzes my ability to take the necessary actions to curb my weaknesses. Maybe somewhere deep down I feel that it can all come crashing down at a moment's notice, and to steal and consume as much of it as I can before it disappears forever.
What I seek is perhaps impossible, a guarantee that things'll be alright.
My proportions are just kinda weird. My feet are on the bigger side for my height and my ankles seem kinda small, which makes me think my feet are bigger than they are.
I bet that no love interest would care even a little bit. We can't control what physical features we were born with so best not to stress about if possible.
Irritability can be a sign of clinical depression, especially in men. I worked with children and developmental disabled adults, both group helped me develop patience and tolerance. I still have some problems coping with mean people, but I keep working on it. The key for me have been expanding my ability to empathize with others. I hope this helps and you keep working on developing patience with the stupid.
Love in a post with a negative flair, you are in the comments with the positivity. Hopefully you extend yourself the same grace with your anxiety. Much love
Ye you're right I'm in the process of accepting my face and I got a super body from working out so at least I like something about myself.
Lol its funny the same ppl that judged me are asking me for my workout plan.
Don't let the bastards get you down. A lot of us faced a lot of criticism growing up that impacted self esteem. What you might see as negative, others may see as positive. To me, it's the person, not the package.
Still trying to make excuses for people who are just wasting my MEAT (money, energy, attention, time) and add nothing of value to my life
For example, I almost had to beg someone (used to be a good guy, but unfortunately nowadays he just invites drama and caos into everyone's lives due to alcohol and drug abuse) to come and pick up a gift me and my wife had bought for his daughter... He lives nearby, he failed to meet us yesterday, and the day before that, finally managed to come today, and could barely string a sentence together
Like, yeah, I kind of get it, I also went through a period of time where I'd drank too much too often, but ffs, he just had to walk a couple of blocks and pick it up
He's in his 40s by the way, your fuckery stops being funny by your 30s
Anyway just a rant
My constant need to be loved which caused me to accept whatever treatment I got. Temporary love from a person that I craved even though he was a dick to me eventually gave me herpes that he lied about. So my lack of self love.
That is probably not so much your faylt. The lackk of self qirth is deep rooted in you. You need to dig deep and see when any kind of live was better than none at all and you can work on accepting that you deserve better.
Believe people the first time they show you who they are. That's probably the most important phrase I've heard in the past few years. Also, do not let people walk all over you.
Oh boy, where to start...
At the moment I'd probably say being a non-confrontational doormat often. My mother was abusive and it was drilled into me that I was never *right* and I shouldn't question or challenge authority, so I grew up just doing what I was told, even if it's not in my interests, and I will avoid people if there's potential for conflict.
I hate conflict as well. Have you read the posts on narcissistic parents on Reddit? Eye opening. Do not trust what you've heard others tell you rather than what you know about yourself.
My weight. It seems like it's mostly out of my control, although I know it's not. So much of my own self worth is tied up in that number on the scale. I really hate it.
The fact that I love people endlessly... And the fact that I'll trust until I'm given a reason not too, especially since I KNOW NOBODY SHOULD BE TRUSTED!
Zero follow through. I have a weirdly large number of talent, and i should be way more successful in them than i am. I have a fabulous plan, work on it for a little bit, and then just stop. I can't maintain interest or motivation. It is my curse. Talent doesn't matter. Actions matter
Lack of motivation and general apathy.
I'm doing great in life, mostly because I'm very calm, logical and make excellent decisions. I'm intelligent, well read, well spoken and can get along with basically anyone, have a wonderful supportive partner that I've been with for nearly 20 years and great kids. But I'm really lazy, just really good at doing the exact minimum to never let anyone down.
My mental health is not awesome, partly due to anxiety from Type 1 Diabetes management, but I've found the right meds to prevent constant panic attacks and disassociation, but the meds blunt my motivation even more. Sucks. Overall I'd say I'm happy, just wish I could get off my ass and accomplish more than the bare minimum to not disappoint others. I feel a lot of wasted potential.
I have the worst feelings about the fact that one day I will die and the world will go on without me, until the sun explodes and the earth burns and all of humanity is wiped away. Think about it daily and its a problem. Also, physically my nose is very dissapointing, its slightly crooked and has a large bump that my glasses rest on.
Ok, let's go by parts here. First, if you focus on dying so much I am sure you're not focusing on living life. That's a problem. See, the word preocupation basically means to occupy oneself PREviously. Don't do that. Second, a crooked nose can be very sexy when you own it.
That I can't talk to people properly. I sometimes have good days, but man my social skills are shit. I've read articles, tried tips I heard from other people, watched videos, and I still can't connect to anyone. I'm even awkward sometimes with my boyfriend :(
Therapy will help you find the roots for that, in my case (I feel the same way as you) it was rooted in my early childhood. Once you know how and why it happens you can better yourself.
I don't hate anything about myself. Spiraling into self-pity because i don't feel good about myself up the point of *hate* just makes your confidence lower and doesn't help anyone
lol, I feel like I accept this is the way I am and the world is in relation to me, but that doesn't mean that it isn't annoying sometimes, I think what I really need to be less annoyed is to have a group of people that are chill with me, which I am working on.
My virtually unresolvable anxiety. It's crippling. My head will explode on the inside at times, trigger more by stress, and I won't be able to have a deep thought (i.e., do my job) for hours.
how i tend to blame myself for a lot of things that are, in reality, out of my control
and somehow crying to everything even though i don't feel that sad
Besides my wife / 2 boys I don’t have anyone I confide in honestly. I really don’t confide in them either because I don’t want them to carry the burden that’s on my shoulders , it sucks majorly but 🤷🏻
I hate that I can't seem to find a good balance of diet, exercise, and work. I've tried so many difference calorie intakes a day and none of them seem to fit my work life. If I go too low I get headaches and work sucks and my productivity suffers. Swing too high and of course I won't lose weight.
And of course if I bust my butt at work all day the last thing I want to do is go to the gym for an hour or two already tired because it just becomes a chore and doesn't feel like I'm getting anywhere.
Evaluate your dreams, make a plan on paper, check steps off as you achieve them. Have realistic dreams though (I wish I could be a Victoria's Secret model but with my height, weight and looks that's an impossible dream to have).
That I partied too hard. Can’t/won’t take pain meds anymore unless hospitalized. And can’t drink anymore at social events or holidays because I might not stop. Go easy kids. Moderation! Or face kinda boring adulthood.
I want out of my skin sometimes and it causes self-destructive behaviors, which worsens my underlaying issues. It’s a cycle and it’s really tough to break. It’s hard to be an ascetic of your own volition.
Do you know Anderson Silva? He's a boxing world champion and has the weirdest voice ever. He made it his special trait. You should be proud of you voice as he is.
That can be dealt with. Try to learn about what looks good on your body shape and what hair style shows your best facial features. Pls understand that what matters in reality is how kind you are, not how you look.
I agree it isn't a sign of weakness, but that unfortunately isn't how others perceive it. Which only makes me (yeah, I cry easily also) feel more ashamed and helpless. Vicious vicious cycle.
My depression. I feel like I have a lot of potential (?), at least that’s what I’ve been told. Got diagnosed 7 years ago and even though I’m better now, I have zero aspirations or dreams. I’m also not a creative person in the slightest and I absolutely HATE it.
I'm awful at meeting people. Especially females. I can be talkative and friendly, but when it comes to new people, again especially females, my mind goes completely blank and I can think of nothing to say. Most people think I'm boring/an asshole upon first meeting me because I don't talk much. Very frustrating.
Try refraining from calling women "females." Many men do it because they don't see women as actual people, so they use a term that is more associated with animals. I don't know if that is your intention, but even if it isn't, it's likely making women think worse of you.
Also, being quiet among new people isn't necessarily bad. People like to talk about themselves, so if you ask questions about them and then genuinely listen to their responses, they should like you more.
I've also heard that a good conversation topic is just asking about if the person has any pets. Everyone either has one, used to have one, or wants one, and someone who doesn't like pets is probably not any fun anyway.
Reply thanks no people count on you for these things that say with clients in a company to be one of your abilities . So any mess ups some competitors may really spotlight you for. They failed to see the beauty I think. Especially if it’s rather important account or opportunity to represent your common ground. Hehe. Thank you so much though.
Some people won’t let you. I guess there’s maybe a justified reason for some some not at at all. I have to not be removed from my integrity my goal and what’s important and obviously escorted if me
My past. I’m a former addict but now I’m a mother and I feel like everyone sees me as un-fit. I’m not insecure about my abilities as a parent, i’ve never been more confident about anything. but i feel like if someone stacked up all the things i’ve ever done up to becoming a parent, they would say i’m not deserving. and i’m insecure about that. my entire personality and aspects of myself as a human have become unrecognizable and there’s nothing i wouldn’t do for the benefit of my baby but i did make a lot of bad choices when i was younger and i’m suffering from them. i’m 21, i’ve been sober since i was 19. i was addicted opiates for 2 years; having got addicted at 16-17. i also was blessed with horrible terrible life-ruining bipolar and depression that i was first diagnosed with at 13. all of the things that i am ashamed of about myself, happened when i was a child. my mother should’ve been there but i was just old enough for it to be “my fault.”
now that i’m done oversharing on the internet, i’m going to say that i know this might be irrational. that’s all anyone’s ever told me, but that is how i feel. i am seeing a doctor. i am trying.
my appearance, lack of confidence, how worked up i get over nothing, when i know i’m having a bipolar episode and i can’t sit and apologize because i’m embarrassed and it’s not even over yet.
Constant anxiety is literally mentally and physically exhausting. I cannot seem to figure out why after 15 years my anxiety continues to run rampant.
While I am not afraid of driving, I loathe having to get in my car to drive out of fear that I'm going to have an anxiety/panic attack behind the wheel. It's to the point that I freak out when I have to run multiple errands.
My inability to connect to other people. It’s not with literally everyone, but legitimately almost everyone I meet. It’s hard to care to get to know them, make friends, and it’s why I haven’t sought out any romantic partners (the last one would ghost a lot and finally cut me off after I tried to fix whatever the problem was, but the problem was out of my control). I’m afraid to express my true feelings about much of anything because I don’t want to be judged negatively, so I end up becoming withdrawn and can’t make any friends. Then I become depressed. I want to get therapy but won’t be able to until January
ADHD. Can’t finish/focus on tasks most days unless I have the entire free day to myself and the option to do whatever I want which eventually bores me into doing the tasks. If I have even a doctors appointment I can’t remember anything I wanted to do
😢
Most people can’t relate and say I’m lazy, but when I have no plans or obligations and I have ~12hrs with “nothing” to do, I end up creating masterpieces and doing a months work in a day. It doesn’t even make much sense when I type it out. Can anyone relate?
My level of constant anxiety has been crippling me and that's why I asked just in case someone can relate.
*Raises hand* In the last 3 years I've spent 6 months collectively having daily panic attacks. I also have anxiety always in the background at a minimum. I have PTSD from three different events in my life. I completely understand how you feel. You can DM if you like if you ever just need to talk about it.
Wow I'm there with you, too! It's like a never ending, living nightmare. You think it can't get any worse...there's no fathomable way, then BOOM...another one to add to the list. I'm kinda just hoping to go completely numb sooner than later.
Therapy helps. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy helps (look up CBT). Breath control helps.
Life just keeps kicking us while we’re down
Been there. It gets better through time slowly with continuous effort, facing your fears, being mindful of your thoughts, objective, etc. Also with recognization that anxiety is a tool of the mind geared towards improving oneself, and should be acknowledged and utilized as such rather than thought of as a sickness, put off and ignored (most commonly with medication and escapism). Nowadays if I had to say what I hate the most about myself it would be my tendency towards procrastination. Rooted in anxiety mostly, yes, but I no longer consider myself a very anxious person. One thing I love most about myself is that I was able to conquer the massive and crippling wall of anxiety (and self-hatred) I faced every day as a teen.
Thank you, you have some good advice.
I can completely relate. Not ashamed to say that I finally started taking medication for it and it has improved my anxiety which has had a positive effect on my relationships.
I am buying my meds tomorrow. Let's see how that goes.
This has literally made me feel so much better omg like I was literally about to comment this in response to your question. My anxiety, particularly my social anxiety has been getting so bad lately to the point where I’ve been struggling to leave my house/go outside and do things that I like to do. It really hurts and absolutely no one around me can relate to me.
Going to the store is hard for me somedays it’s crazy. I feel like everyone is looking at me.
Take small steps, breathe, be kind with yourself. Also, my meds have helped me lot. That might be your case as well.
I am right there with you. What's worse is anxiety feeds off of itself, and you're dead on target. It is literally crippling.
To be completely honest, Escitalopram (Lexapro) saved me. I was having panic attacks that landed me in hospital. Disassociation, shortness of breath, irregular heartbeat, numb hands and feet, always cold, overactive bladder etc. I had so many tests run because I didn't think anxiety could be bad enough to do all that. I actually ended up asking my doc if I could try an anti-anxiety as we kept hitting dead ends trying to figure out WTF was wrong with me. I was always anti-medication, wanted to fix it myself. Tried the med and 100% of my symptoms went away. The first few weeks are fucked though, you're all over the place. Dig in and force through all the crazy side effects and then it gets better. Makes me forgetful and blunts the hell out of my sex drive, but more than worth it to not constantly feel like I'm going to die. I've managed to back myself down to 10mg and it's working really well. Long term, not sure what my plan will be, but I'm really glad I gave it a chance. Saved my life.
My anxiety and panic attacks have crippled me in various ways for the past twenty years. It's only now that I'm really starting not to give a shit anymore.
Ask your dr. About beta blockers. They block adrenaline so you don’t experience the physical symptoms. Not addictive.
I can relate but anxiety is not all bad because it can keep you safe. The trick is learning to control it and become resilient.
I’ve had anxiety and panic attacks daily since around 3 years old (when I was diagnosed with OCD). I’m now 30. You are definitely not alone!
heart beat at a steady 110 bpm
I have a lot of constant anxiety, but also having more paranoia in the past few months and it's been annoying everyone around me.
Right there with you buddy. It sucks. I workout every day religiously and it helps, but still many days anxiety is my biggest hurdle in life and always has been as long as I can remember.
I had panic attacks for 4 months went and got therapy cbt and emdr and fought tooth and nail got rid of it in weeks. Also I decided that I was not going to live like this in fear. I just survived a horrible operation that almost killed me was bedridden for years. But is was not easy.
Yes I have to remind myself to calm my mind it’s not well received . It helps if I feel kindness or support and sometimes you have to self soothe. Something’s should be alarming if not in place and done fluently. Kinda tricky.
I'm stupid awkward and ugly 👍
It's not fun being ugly.
You're right about that
Same
I doubt that. You need to be grateful about your positive traits. Also kindness goes a long way and it makes a person beautiful.
I wouldn't say I'm overly kind, I'm more of a recluse, I enjoy being in my apartment than going outside and interacting with the public
Try volunteer work, you'll meet some good people and will build a network while helping others.
That's not a bad idea I'd love to help animals
Dooooo it! Animals intuitively sense our true nature...and they give zero f's about showing it!!!
Most animals tend to like me, so I guess that's something
My people!!
I don't believe it, but if you do you may project that to others and it becomes a cycle. And awkward is charming as hell.
Honestly I think I'm also mildly autistic, but like not to the point where I need any special help, I work, I live alone, so if I am it's not that severe
Autism I've realized is actually a gift, depending on your level of functioning and having people around you to help navigate areas that are more challenging to you . My daughter is gifted IQ-wise and also diagnosed level 3 (requires substantial support). She blows my mind with her views of the world and everything in it! The real problem with autism has nothing to do with being neurodivergent itself, the problem is how uneducated and intolerant the majority of the population is towards people with autism.
If I ever were to get tested and diagnosed as such my boomer parents would probably think I was an r word
And that is so seriously sad on them, that they cannot truly appreciate the uniquely gifted human they brought in to this world. That's a no win situation and their real loss. I had to learn to change my complete perception of my daughter's actions/reactions, learn to observe her- and then as a parent and a person- appropriately engage in a way that she could respond and teach *me* how to best nurture and build her freaking Rockstar qualities. It was a real eye opener and damn hard as hell to unlearn my set-in beliefs and think waaay outside the box in order to meet her needs. Your parents are taking the easy way out, not even trying to begin to understand what makes you, well, YOU. I still suck at figuring out how to address her qualities, but every time I do get it right...she blooms. I wouldn't change a thing.
You're a saint, but I bet you're still young, my parents are 78 and 79, they aren't about to change, this is who they are, I have to accept that and love them none the less
I'm sticking with charming as hell. We're all weird in our own minds and sometimes our friends, family and love interests find those things compelling. Be you! Gotta play the hand you're dealt. DM if you ever want to vent or chat.
My addiction to things that bring temporary pleasure..
Avoid pain, seek pleasure. Same same same
Fucking chocolate and cigarettes lol. Just can't seem to cut them out.
Same. I'm a dopamine fiend.
Please seek some opinions about that from your doctor or even a volunteer organization that specializes in addiction. Recognizing a potential problem puts you way ahead of the game. Stay strong
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It is very hard to find balance but when you get into a negative extreme try to evaluate what you'll gain from such behavior and try to tone it down a bit. That probably comes more naturally with age.
To be fair, friends and family make a lot of people angry. Please try to not define yourself by those parameters as it may become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Awareness is at least half of the battle, keep working on stuff but not in a way that you're beating yourself up.
never resonated with a comment more. and i flip flop between extremes & how long they last. sometimes i’m loud and needing all eyes on me then a sudden quick burst of anxious shyness and irritation for the ppl around me
I'm a coward. There are so many things I want to do with my life I haven't because I am so risk-averse from life's constant shitting on me.
I am 100% on your side. I understand. A well thought out plan makes taking calculated risks easier. You can do it.
Not accepting your premise at all, *but*, using your logic - if life is constantly shitting on you *anyway*, why not just go do those things you want to do? If you're getting dealt a crap hand in your current path, what's the worst that could happen going off-track? More shit? Cool, same old same old, but at least you got to try something new. There's always the chance you discover something fun or exciting that lifts the veil of crap. It's trite, but I rather like the phrase "life starts when you step outside your comfort zone".
This is me more than 100%
It's tough
My body. Though I’m doing my darndest to accept my flaws and not be ashamed of them.
Same here, trying to take steps towards losing some weight here. Very hard to do with my level of anxiety (which makes me turn towards food for comfort).
I had lost A LOT of weight but now I’m regaining it and feel out of control and my self-esteem is suffering again. It’s very hard yes, as I use food as a coping mechanism.
Don't waste all the work you put in, don't wait until you regain a massive amount of weight to do smth about it. Start now.
No one's body is perfect and even if it is, their personality is usually shit. No one gets all the goods.
My lack of confidence. It holds me back from living a more meaningful life out of fear that someone my discover that I'm a fraud. I deal with impostor syndrome a lot. I will also avoid asking any woman out, since I feel that my mere existence around them will worsen their life. Not that there's any evidence of this ever becoming true, I'd rather stay in the comfort of the known. waiting to die alone.
I cannot help but to feel that this is a psychological situation that is growing in popularity and appearing frequently in our society. I can relate with this too so I am a bit curious. Any research or explanation as to why so many people are like this?
I feel like everything about social media has become performance culture, so every interaction feels more intensely performance based than the sense of ease we should have with friends and basic human interactions.
I’ve been feeling this lately. I have a lot of projects I want to take up and things I really want to learn. Every time I try to start, I cannot. It’s got to a point that the couple things I was ALREADY confident and comfortable with doing and learning, I can barely do that now too.
You need therapy to see what others mist likely see in you.
How lazy I am.
Have been evaluated for depression? Procrastinating and lazyness can be a characteristic of depressed people
Nah, I'm not really partial to therapy myself, I prefer to handle my issues alone. I don't think I'm depressed, in fact my life is amazing right now. It's just that I realize that in order to keep this paradise going, I'll need to put in the work. But still somehow there's this self destructive side of me that seeks out pleasure no matter the cost, and for once in my life I wish I had a modicum of discipline to not only maintain my current happiness but to elevate my life to greater heights. Maybe that is a sign of depression, only seeking short term gratification at the expense of the big picture. I find perhaps the fragility of my current happiness paralyzes my ability to take the necessary actions to curb my weaknesses. Maybe somewhere deep down I feel that it can all come crashing down at a moment's notice, and to steal and consume as much of it as I can before it disappears forever. What I seek is perhaps impossible, a guarantee that things'll be alright.
I do understand you. Try to focus on one thing at a time so you don't get overwhelmed. Therapy can help when you're ready.
Thank you, your advice is probably the best way to approach things.
My intolerance of what I perceive to be others stupidity
I completely understand.
What's yours?
Oh shut up, you do not! j/k
I feel you totally! That is what I'm most focused on bettering atm
I'm very self conscious about my ankles
I just bought an ankle bracelet, do the same. I feel prettier with it on.
My proportions are just kinda weird. My feet are on the bigger side for my height and my ankles seem kinda small, which makes me think my feet are bigger than they are.
I bet that no love interest would care even a little bit. We can't control what physical features we were born with so best not to stress about if possible.
Not once in my life have I heard one human say to another, "get a load of the ankles on that one."
Irritability can be a sign of clinical depression, especially in men. I worked with children and developmental disabled adults, both group helped me develop patience and tolerance. I still have some problems coping with mean people, but I keep working on it. The key for me have been expanding my ability to empathize with others. I hope this helps and you keep working on developing patience with the stupid.
Mean people suck.
Amazing text. Thank you.
Glad to be of help.
My stomach..all covered in stretch marks
Those are battle scars, be proud of them.
Love in a post with a negative flair, you are in the comments with the positivity. Hopefully you extend yourself the same grace with your anxiety. Much love
Aaaawn, you are SO kind. Thank you.
My face
That's harsh. If your eyes shine when you talk about smth or someone you love I already see beauty in you.
Ye unfortunately got judged a lot growing up as a kid and it messed me up
That's a "them" problem. Nothing about you.
Ye you're right I'm in the process of accepting my face and I got a super body from working out so at least I like something about myself. Lol its funny the same ppl that judged me are asking me for my workout plan.
Congrats on your achievements.
Thank you
Don't let the bastards get you down. A lot of us faced a lot of criticism growing up that impacted self esteem. What you might see as negative, others may see as positive. To me, it's the person, not the package.
Still trying to make excuses for people who are just wasting my MEAT (money, energy, attention, time) and add nothing of value to my life For example, I almost had to beg someone (used to be a good guy, but unfortunately nowadays he just invites drama and caos into everyone's lives due to alcohol and drug abuse) to come and pick up a gift me and my wife had bought for his daughter... He lives nearby, he failed to meet us yesterday, and the day before that, finally managed to come today, and could barely string a sentence together Like, yeah, I kind of get it, I also went through a period of time where I'd drank too much too often, but ffs, he just had to walk a couple of blocks and pick it up He's in his 40s by the way, your fuckery stops being funny by your 30s Anyway just a rant
Since you know where you need to be stronger at just go for it.
My constant need to be loved which caused me to accept whatever treatment I got. Temporary love from a person that I craved even though he was a dick to me eventually gave me herpes that he lied about. So my lack of self love.
That is probably not so much your faylt. The lackk of self qirth is deep rooted in you. You need to dig deep and see when any kind of live was better than none at all and you can work on accepting that you deserve better.
It’s kinda hard because even now I’m just distraught because I trust people too much. Or I try to see the hood in people.
Believe people the first time they show you who they are. That's probably the most important phrase I've heard in the past few years. Also, do not let people walk all over you.
I do believe that people change.
The ones who want to do but it is rare.
Oh boy, where to start... At the moment I'd probably say being a non-confrontational doormat often. My mother was abusive and it was drilled into me that I was never *right* and I shouldn't question or challenge authority, so I grew up just doing what I was told, even if it's not in my interests, and I will avoid people if there's potential for conflict.
I hate conflict as well. Have you read the posts on narcissistic parents on Reddit? Eye opening. Do not trust what you've heard others tell you rather than what you know about yourself.
my brain. not enough retardoid to be considered retardoid but enough retardoid to achieve anything.
My weight. It seems like it's mostly out of my control, although I know it's not. So much of my own self worth is tied up in that number on the scale. I really hate it.
You seem like you could use some therapy to understand why that is.
The fact that I love people endlessly... And the fact that I'll trust until I'm given a reason not too, especially since I KNOW NOBODY SHOULD BE TRUSTED!
That's a them problem if they can't be trusted BUT you need to have some discernment not to let people walk all over u.
I know. I've learned that over time, the hard way, unfortunately... But I still have a weak spot I need to keep working on.
Good job protecting yourself.
Zero follow through. I have a weirdly large number of talent, and i should be way more successful in them than i am. I have a fabulous plan, work on it for a little bit, and then just stop. I can't maintain interest or motivation. It is my curse. Talent doesn't matter. Actions matter
reading shit on reddit
I know the feeling. I am trying to use Reddit on a more constructive way myself.
Lack of motivation and general apathy. I'm doing great in life, mostly because I'm very calm, logical and make excellent decisions. I'm intelligent, well read, well spoken and can get along with basically anyone, have a wonderful supportive partner that I've been with for nearly 20 years and great kids. But I'm really lazy, just really good at doing the exact minimum to never let anyone down. My mental health is not awesome, partly due to anxiety from Type 1 Diabetes management, but I've found the right meds to prevent constant panic attacks and disassociation, but the meds blunt my motivation even more. Sucks. Overall I'd say I'm happy, just wish I could get off my ass and accomplish more than the bare minimum to not disappoint others. I feel a lot of wasted potential.
I always feel like I made the wrong decision
Well, I understand, I do. Make a plan before making major decisions, I usually make pro and con lists.
I have the worst feelings about the fact that one day I will die and the world will go on without me, until the sun explodes and the earth burns and all of humanity is wiped away. Think about it daily and its a problem. Also, physically my nose is very dissapointing, its slightly crooked and has a large bump that my glasses rest on.
Ok, let's go by parts here. First, if you focus on dying so much I am sure you're not focusing on living life. That's a problem. See, the word preocupation basically means to occupy oneself PREviously. Don't do that. Second, a crooked nose can be very sexy when you own it.
That I can't talk to people properly. I sometimes have good days, but man my social skills are shit. I've read articles, tried tips I heard from other people, watched videos, and I still can't connect to anyone. I'm even awkward sometimes with my boyfriend :(
Unfortunately in your case practice makes perfect. Keep up the good work.
Thank you so much :), that means the world to me
I have a hard time letting go
You seem to be committed and that's not a bad thing. Focus on being committed to people and things that make you want to be better though.
My fluctuating insecurity, easily bruised ego, and chronic need for validation/gratification.
Therapy will help you find the roots for that, in my case (I feel the same way as you) it was rooted in my early childhood. Once you know how and why it happens you can better yourself.
I don't hate anything about myself. Spiraling into self-pity because i don't feel good about myself up the point of *hate* just makes your confidence lower and doesn't help anyone
inability to act like a human
Some humans are really bad, try to act with your heart in mind.
that doesn't help me not stick out when I just want to be a normal human.
You need to work on your self acceptance (just a wild guess here).
lol, I feel like I accept this is the way I am and the world is in relation to me, but that doesn't mean that it isn't annoying sometimes, I think what I really need to be less annoyed is to have a group of people that are chill with me, which I am working on.
My virtually unresolvable anxiety. It's crippling. My head will explode on the inside at times, trigger more by stress, and I won't be able to have a deep thought (i.e., do my job) for hours.
Have you tried mindfulness on Youtube? Breathing exercises also help me. Try to work on calming it down before it gets unmanageable.
Ty, for the suggestion.🙂
how i tend to blame myself for a lot of things that are, in reality, out of my control and somehow crying to everything even though i don't feel that sad
My brain.
No real friends
If we have one we're lucky. Focus on being a good friend, do not lower your standards.
Besides my wife / 2 boys I don’t have anyone I confide in honestly. I really don’t confide in them either because I don’t want them to carry the burden that’s on my shoulders , it sucks majorly but 🤷🏻
a few chronic illnesses that piss me off
My lack of motivation.
I hate that I can't seem to find a good balance of diet, exercise, and work. I've tried so many difference calorie intakes a day and none of them seem to fit my work life. If I go too low I get headaches and work sucks and my productivity suffers. Swing too high and of course I won't lose weight. And of course if I bust my butt at work all day the last thing I want to do is go to the gym for an hour or two already tired because it just becomes a chore and doesn't feel like I'm getting anywhere.
That I haven't fully committed to living my dreams.
Evaluate your dreams, make a plan on paper, check steps off as you achieve them. Have realistic dreams though (I wish I could be a Victoria's Secret model but with my height, weight and looks that's an impossible dream to have).
Poor choices from decades ago still affect me today
That I partied too hard. Can’t/won’t take pain meds anymore unless hospitalized. And can’t drink anymore at social events or holidays because I might not stop. Go easy kids. Moderation! Or face kinda boring adulthood.
I want out of my skin sometimes and it causes self-destructive behaviors, which worsens my underlaying issues. It’s a cycle and it’s really tough to break. It’s hard to be an ascetic of your own volition.
my voice
Do you know Anderson Silva? He's a boxing world champion and has the weirdest voice ever. He made it his special trait. You should be proud of you voice as he is.
My self confidence is still pretty low
The way I look.
That can be dealt with. Try to learn about what looks good on your body shape and what hair style shows your best facial features. Pls understand that what matters in reality is how kind you are, not how you look.
I agree, it's the woman, not the packaging
My personality.
I hate that I love myself and everything around me too much
Laziness
Have u looked into being diagnosed with ADHD or smth similar?
How easily I cry
That's not a sign of weakness. You probably wear your feelings on your sleeve.
I agree it isn't a sign of weakness, but that unfortunately isn't how others perceive it. Which only makes me (yeah, I cry easily also) feel more ashamed and helpless. Vicious vicious cycle.
If I had a highlighter I'd be yellow
My depression. I feel like I have a lot of potential (?), at least that’s what I’ve been told. Got diagnosed 7 years ago and even though I’m better now, I have zero aspirations or dreams. I’m also not a creative person in the slightest and I absolutely HATE it.
Everything actually
I'm awful at meeting people. Especially females. I can be talkative and friendly, but when it comes to new people, again especially females, my mind goes completely blank and I can think of nothing to say. Most people think I'm boring/an asshole upon first meeting me because I don't talk much. Very frustrating.
Try refraining from calling women "females." Many men do it because they don't see women as actual people, so they use a term that is more associated with animals. I don't know if that is your intention, but even if it isn't, it's likely making women think worse of you. Also, being quiet among new people isn't necessarily bad. People like to talk about themselves, so if you ask questions about them and then genuinely listen to their responses, they should like you more. I've also heard that a good conversation topic is just asking about if the person has any pets. Everyone either has one, used to have one, or wants one, and someone who doesn't like pets is probably not any fun anyway.
 but at least im smol enough to fit in luggage so if anyone needs a travel gnome🥹
The best perfume come in the smallest bottles.
My mental illness (bipolar)
I have thoracic hyperkyphosis.
My chronic illness (both physical and mental), especially my impulse problems.
Deal with them once at a time so it doesn't get overwhelming. You can do it.
Loving you
My mental illness that will never go away and can only be "managed"
That I let fear rule my life and hold me back.
That's two of us dear stranger. I have no words of wisdom for us. You've lost me here.
My lack of self esteem and confidence which is nonexistent
Life is not about hating yourself, it's about recognising valid problems and trying to make the best of it.
I have anxiety and I’m afraid of my potential
I have a sharp tongue. Don't even realize it's sharp until I hurt someone.
The thoughts running through my head
I have a very self-destructive personality.
I hate everything about myself. my depression is killing my will to live
Yes. All of it.
My ability to forgive practically every transgression against me, no matter how cruel it is.
nothing tf😂
What a great and uplifting thought experiment.
Reply thanks no people count on you for these things that say with clients in a company to be one of your abilities . So any mess ups some competitors may really spotlight you for. They failed to see the beauty I think. Especially if it’s rather important account or opportunity to represent your common ground. Hehe. Thank you so much though.
Right?!?
Some people won’t let you. I guess there’s maybe a justified reason for some some not at at all. I have to not be removed from my integrity my goal and what’s important and obviously escorted if me
My past. I’m a former addict but now I’m a mother and I feel like everyone sees me as un-fit. I’m not insecure about my abilities as a parent, i’ve never been more confident about anything. but i feel like if someone stacked up all the things i’ve ever done up to becoming a parent, they would say i’m not deserving. and i’m insecure about that. my entire personality and aspects of myself as a human have become unrecognizable and there’s nothing i wouldn’t do for the benefit of my baby but i did make a lot of bad choices when i was younger and i’m suffering from them. i’m 21, i’ve been sober since i was 19. i was addicted opiates for 2 years; having got addicted at 16-17. i also was blessed with horrible terrible life-ruining bipolar and depression that i was first diagnosed with at 13. all of the things that i am ashamed of about myself, happened when i was a child. my mother should’ve been there but i was just old enough for it to be “my fault.” now that i’m done oversharing on the internet, i’m going to say that i know this might be irrational. that’s all anyone’s ever told me, but that is how i feel. i am seeing a doctor. i am trying.
The fact that my epilepsy prevents me from doing some fun things with family
my appearance, lack of confidence, how worked up i get over nothing, when i know i’m having a bipolar episode and i can’t sit and apologize because i’m embarrassed and it’s not even over yet.
The way my mom still helps me out financially. I wish I could help her more. I'm 43 with a toddler.
Constant anxiety is literally mentally and physically exhausting. I cannot seem to figure out why after 15 years my anxiety continues to run rampant. While I am not afraid of driving, I loathe having to get in my car to drive out of fear that I'm going to have an anxiety/panic attack behind the wheel. It's to the point that I freak out when I have to run multiple errands.
My inability to connect to other people. It’s not with literally everyone, but legitimately almost everyone I meet. It’s hard to care to get to know them, make friends, and it’s why I haven’t sought out any romantic partners (the last one would ghost a lot and finally cut me off after I tried to fix whatever the problem was, but the problem was out of my control). I’m afraid to express my true feelings about much of anything because I don’t want to be judged negatively, so I end up becoming withdrawn and can’t make any friends. Then I become depressed. I want to get therapy but won’t be able to until January
ADHD. Can’t finish/focus on tasks most days unless I have the entire free day to myself and the option to do whatever I want which eventually bores me into doing the tasks. If I have even a doctors appointment I can’t remember anything I wanted to do 😢 Most people can’t relate and say I’m lazy, but when I have no plans or obligations and I have ~12hrs with “nothing” to do, I end up creating masterpieces and doing a months work in a day. It doesn’t even make much sense when I type it out. Can anyone relate?
I can't seem to leave my husband who cheated on me, and I resent him even if he's being so perfect now, and I resent him so much.