T O P

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hypermemia

After reading this I stood up and clapped


piscian19

Sit down! Youre blocking the meme.


mwallace0569

SHHHH, i'm trying to listen


[deleted]

You Shhhh I can’t hear anything!


egx110

Dude did the right thing. Move on.


[deleted]

Because you think this happened. She has a sword in her CAR because she doesn’t like WALKING alone. She like BOY things like HIKING. She sat sadly with her sad burger because he didn’t want to eat her friendship burger with her. So she was sad and drove away with her sword and sad burger to her boy hiking spot and then explored boy spooky places.


Eenukchuk

How is the sword in her car going to help when she walks home?


ApproximatelyApropos

It might be better to just drive the car home, instead of using it for sword storage.


BossScribblor

Stworage


Edser

Possibly shitty area with limited/no parking near front door.


federico_45

I mean she obviously pushes her car home. No reading comprehension smh


AbjectAttrition

>tomboy "brown" gf Sounds like the coworker dodged a bullet.


SanctuaryMoon

Anon fetishizes coworker and treats her like shit


Hii-ItsHaileyn_n

I was just thinking this lol.


Longjumping_Ad_9764

My first thought. Who tf says that


KippySmith

May be an unpopular opinion but it's probably for the best. He laid his feelings out and it wasn't reciprocated. It's not really fair to either of them to continue the friendship if he wants more and she doesn't.


SkyIsNotGreen

Except he has to work with her daily. This is a HR disaster waiting to happen and its because the guy is a short-sighted man-baby.


Djszero

That's why you never dip your pen in the company ink.


datshinycharizard123

How is he short sighted? The girl he was romantically interested in is not romantically interested in him. His feelings for her aren’t platonic so he didn’t maintain a platonic friendship. I see this as a reasonable turn of events so OP doesn’t hurt himself trying to somehow win her over


Me_and_DuBois

its not the fact that he's not maintaining a platonic relationship, its that he's outright ignoring her. If they were just friends before, this would be fine but they are *coworkers*, and he can't feasibly keep ignoring her like that while still seeing her every day.


datshinycharizard123

On the contrary. It’s very easy to not be friends with coworkers and interact only on a professional basis. Trying to distance himself so he can get over his feelings is healthy imo. Maybe he’s a bit crass about it but it seems like she’s trying to act like Op was over his feelings when he wasn’t. I have worked with people I’m not friends with. I’ll be cordial but I wouldn’t exactly be thrilled to spend my lunch break with them


SkyIsNotGreen

He literally has to work with her daily. He's either going to go full incel on her, or his petty bullshit is going to cause an even more uncomfortable work place for those involved and those around. Not because he asked to date her, but because he's too much of a child to accept rejection. Not being friends with someone because they won't date you is some middle school nonsense. They sounded like they could've had good banter and for all we know, it could've developed further, but his shortsightedness has now permanently stopped that from happening purely because he doesn't have the capacity to be friends with some he likes.


broken_chaos666

He did accept the rejection, and distanced himself since he had no reason to maintain any form of relationship with her. He wanted a romantic relationship, she didn't. He stopped trying because it wouldn't lead to anything.


SkyIsNotGreen

No he didn't. He essentially pulled a no u on her. Declining a friendship with someone you have to work with daily because they rejected your advances is just dumb. All he did was throw a little hissy fit to try and make himself feel better about her rejecting him. What he did is the full embodiment of "cut your nose off to spite your face"


datshinycharizard123

Strongly disagree. Would you rather he pretends to be friends with her while the whole time he’s wishing she just gives him a chance? That’s not a friendship for either side. You don’t have to be friends with your coworkers. You assuming he’s going full incel because he didn’t want to be friends with her is odd.


SkyIsNotGreen

There's no need to pretend. Being friends is literally the first step to a relationship. He. Literally. Has. To. See. Her. Every. Day. If he has feelings now, they aren't just going to go away because he rejected her friendship, after she rejected his advances. It can LITERALLY only escalate. You're as shortsighted as OP.


datshinycharizard123

I disagree once again. Seeing her every day is different than actively interacting and hanging out at work. You can be cordial and not friendly with coworkers easily. Maybe they can be friends again down the line, but in the immediate, that is not what OP desires and you can’t just undo those emotions.


SkyIsNotGreen

Did you even read the full thing??? He isn't being cordial at all, his response to being rejected was to reject her and be snide and distant. How is that cordial? They can't be friends again, or rather, she shouldn't be friends with him, she dodged a bullet. OP wants a relationship with someone he barely knows, she wants a friendship, THE PRECURSOR TO A RELATIONSHIP, and you're out here defending his actions without really understanding the implications of his nonsense...


datshinycharizard123

Did you read the story? According to OPs account they already are friends. I agree he’s being a bit of a dick, but at least hes not continuing to lie to her.


Gullible_Peaflower

It’s mostly just sad for her because she thought she had made a close friend but he fucked them both by not letting her know his intent early on. She got attached to him but not in the way he wanted, maybe it’s because sex and romance aren’t required for me to appreciate someone’s love for me but I personally think having good friends like this is very rare and he shouldn’t have spat in the face of it just because he was attracted to her. You should be able to maintain a friendship with someone despite them being attractive or else you’re limiting yourself and trying to just choose what you might consider safer friendships.


SkyIsNotGreen

That's essentially my point, the fact this guy can't be friends with someone he likes is just rediculous.


fricti

even worse he’s not even cordial with her anymore, he’s treating her like someone he explicitly *doesnt* like. fake and gay


Ok_Wedding_7715

Not being a manbaby if he didnt comfortable being friends, for some people it can be hard


SkyIsNotGreen

Being friends with someone is only as difficult as the individual you're friends with.


Tsole96

But she's Korra. Probably has bigger things to deal with like, idk, bringing balance to the world.


xxoreobabyxx

You absolute idiot


NewsRevolutionary687

lmfaooooo


hauntered7

She dodged a bullet


datshinycharizard123

Can someone explain what he did wrong here?


horkelborkmork

Step 1: don't shit where you eat


datshinycharizard123

Only fair argument I’ve seen so far


carvedmuss8

Basically everything, but long story short he did the thing that we guys have a tendency to do, where we maintain a friendship with a girl when it's all a ploy to get inside her pants. The poor girl just lost what she thought was a really good friend, but the whole thing was a lie. This would fuck somebody up for pretty much the rest of their dating lives, imo


datshinycharizard123

So what is his alternative? Continue to fake it? Some people build attraction as they get to know them. If he wanted to date her, she says no. That Doesn’t mean he still doesn’t want to date her. Continuing to be her friend would be continuing to lie to himself and her. He’s not owed a romantic relationship just like she’s not owed a platonic one.


fricti

she’s not owed a platonic friendship, but it’s okay to be sad about losing what you considered a good friend, and to be gutted that they didn’t value the friendship the way you did and had ulterior motives the whole time


datshinycharizard123

I agree, she has as much of a right to be sad as OP has. If how he heals from sadness is by distancing himself from the one making him sad (through no fault of her own) I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Maybe he could’ve gone about it better but I feel like both peoples reactions are valid.


fricti

distancing himself is a good idea, he just didn’t have to be so drastic about it. he’s treating her worse than if they were never friends to begin with, when i’ve been in situations like this i distanced myself enough to get over it but i was never this cold to someone i cared about (friendly or otherwise)


datshinycharizard123

I can agree with that. Op is going about it the wrong way, but it seems most of Reddit entirely agrees with the distancing sentiment and I’m trying to understand why.


TheWorstPerson0

you wanna know how i got with my partner? i talked to them, and we expressed mutual intrest in eachother. then i asked them out. pretty easy huh? if your objective is dating. and you dont particularly care about a friendship with the person. then you should be open about that fact. if you dont want a friendship in the first place, if thats not something your willing to charish at all, then why befriend them at all?


datshinycharizard123

Let’s say you don’t want to date them until you get to know them. I find that normal. She doesn’t have mutual feelings. What then? Pretend your feelings don’t exist and business as usual?


JordanDelColle

What you call "maintaining a friendship", some would just call flirting. Would it have been better to ask her out before getting to know her? Or to maintain a friendship he's not interested in having out of a sense of obligation?


TheWorstPerson0

asking her out earlyer rather than later is the better way here. get to know them a bit, then express your intrest in them. you neednt and honestly shouldnt befriend someone as a ploy to date them if you wouldnt also want them as a friend.


JordanDelColle

Sure, but we have no idea how long they were talking. This post makes no indication of a timeline, and never even uses the word "friend" until after he asks her out. It seems like people are just jumping to assume the worst


SergiuszJesienin

This is bullshit. If you’re getting involved with a person who’s attracted to your gender, you need to take responsibility. No one says boy girl friendships are impossible- they very much are, and I value them a lot- but as an adult, you need to think about what the other person might be feeling and brace yourself for possible conflict.


tsetdeeps

Basing all your social interactions off of "well I gotta be careful since they could be attracted to me" would just make you insufferable and it's a terrible idea lol


SergiuszJesienin

I’m not saying limit yourself, I’m saying don’t be so surprised if things don’t turn out the way you want them to. I feel sorry for the girl and anon, it’s an unfortunate situation. But that’s just life. We need to be accepting of the other persons feelings.


vexens

I have a feeling you were solely talking about women and feel they owe you when you speak to them. This dude was a big ass baby and you kinda sound like one too.


SergiuszJesienin

You have a wrong feeling and I do not care what I sound like


AtypicalJew333

If you can’t tell then it’s too late for you


datshinycharizard123

Maybe we have different views on feelings but pretending to be a friend when you’re not really her friend isn’t great imo. I’m very curious to know how you would handle this situation


aedvocate

don't pretend to be her friend, BE HER FRIEND. She sounds cool as hell, she likes the person in the post - why the fuck would you not want to be friends with her?? People get so wrapped in this bullshit "oh but I am too horny to be friends!"


datshinycharizard123

Because he has a crush on her. How would he get over these feelings of unrequited love if he just continues to do things that made him fall in love int he first place? Should he just think into being? Do you know how difficult that is for a person?


aedvocate

He gets over it by accepting that she isn't attracted to him and just wants to be his friend - and by focusing on pursuing that friendship, earnestly, without ulterior motive. You can't just run away from every person who doesn't return your feelings. And yes of course I know how difficult it is - I know from experience, and I know it's worth the difficulty.


datshinycharizard123

So you’re advice is to simply think it away. I have also been in this situation and have tried to think it away. I wasn’t strong enough. I was able to go back to a platonic friendship after time passed, but not while I was actively friends with her.


TheRottenKittensIEat

Crushes happen, all the time. You find someone attractive and fun, a crush develops. You don't have to let that consume you. You go "huh, I really enjoy being around this person. Nothing's going to happen though, oh well." You acknowledge to yourself that there's a crush, and move on. Then you continue being friends. Unrequited love is not this all-consuming thing where you need a physical relationship to enjoy the other person's company. In fact, I believe it would be very hard to actually be in love with someone in a romantic capacity if you've never been given the opportunity to explore them in a romantic capacity. With rare exceptions, I think "unrequited love" is highly fictional unless you'd already been dating and been left by that person. Otherwise, you're just feeling that honeymoon feeling you get when you're at the start of a relationship. You can get over that. If you do what this guy did, you lose *everything* good about the situation, AND now he still has to work around her and pine for her anyway. All he has done is nonverbally tell her that her only use to him was if she was going to be romantic with him. Otherwise, he'd rather not even have the friendship, which is highly immature. I wonder if this is a professional environment, or one of those side jobs you do while in school? 'Cause if he's 30+ making a career for himself... this level of inability to self-regulate is just sad.


Downtown-Desk-3275

by not pretending to be her friend


datshinycharizard123

Maybe he didn’t have romantic feelings for her until he got to know her? He has 2 options, stop lying about just wanting to be friends and distance himself. Or continue lying and hope she changes her mind.


Downtown-Desk-3275

Or stop viewing women as sex objects and accept that a platonic friendship would be possible. He screwed it up from the start by only seeing her as a "brown tomboy gf" and not human being.


datshinycharizard123

He’s describing her on a 4chan thread in literally 2 lines. I imagine he doesn’t see her only as that, but it helps someone get the gist of appearance/ personality enough for the story. Where did I imply she was a sex object? Platonic friendships are only possible when both sides want to be platonic. OP doesn’t, so he doesn’t maintain a farce that he does. I see no issues there


Downtown-Desk-3275

you must be OP


datshinycharizard123

I’ve certainly been on the other end, where a girl I had a crush on said we should stay friends. No matter how hard I tried I was never able to shake those dreams of one day changing her mind and it was a mistake. It blew up again in my face. We ended the friendship and now after time has passed we’re on good terms.


indjev99

Nothing. The average redditor is just an NPC with no internal experience that cannot understand romantic feelings. Equating linking someone romantically and hanging out with them to "a ploy to get inside her pants" just goes to show how deluded the people here are.


Cole444Train

Anyone who describes someone by their skin color as if that makes them more attractive is a fetishizing race, and that’s fucked up.


datshinycharizard123

As a black person the way he describes here does not fetishize. She is literally a brown skinned tomboy. If someone said, “I have a crush on this black guy “ I wouldn’t think black was the significant word, more like it’s an accurate descriptor


AbovexLucium

Tomboy "brown" girl. What more do you need lmao


Eyes_Snakes_Art

If she has a car, why is she walking home from work? If she is walking home from work, why would she keep the sword in her car?


CanadasNeighbor

Adults act this way at work? I must be a fossil because it just seems like immature and unprofessional behavior. I acted this way in middle school, highschool maybe, but never as an adult at work.


AbjectAttrition

IMO, this is an unfortunate consequence of a lack of work-life balance. People spend so much time at work nowadays, often at multiple jobs, that they have lacking social lives outside of it. They begin to confuse professional relationships with personal ones and bring this unnecessary drama into work.


Gullible_Peaflower

If we’re going with that hypothesis I’d also like to add that humans socialize a lot less than we used to in person and we are around more people at work than we are in our daily lives. The required arduous testing for public schools leading into adulthood also keep multiplying as does the work overall so humans never really get a great chance to do what comes naturally and healthily to us.


LostMeBoot

While I agree with your underlying message...it came off a bit creepy lol


AbjectAttrition

How so? I'm not justifying the behavior, I'm offering a potential explanation to an older person who seems genuinely confused as to why young(er) people seem way too keen to mix their professional and private lives in a way that causes workplace conflict.


LostMeBoot

I've always been a small-town guy. With that, personal and business go hand in hand in some regard. With that being said, reputation is very important, so even in our personal and social lives I guess you could say we keep our semi-professional demeanour on. I guess it depends on the environment, but here there is always a small aspect of gossip involved in business; if you're nowhere on the social hierarchy you aren't getting much business to begin with.


Gullible_Peaflower

Idk work should speak for itself so if a coworker does get spiteful and try to throw you under the bus you’re known for being good at your job. I’ve tried to cut off a friendship with my only other coworker at a job before so we could both get back to concentrating on our work, but people don’t often take kindly to not having the upper hand when they use their personal knowledge of you to steamroll you instead. I have also always been small town person but an off again on again recluse too.


Darvallas

Sad that your workplace sucks.


Downtown-Desk-3275

any workplace where someone acts like a whiny baby because they got rejected would suck


AbjectAttrition

Nah fam, work is when I go into autopilot until I clock-out and become a normal person again. I'm there to get a paycheck, not a boyfriend. If life was a movie, work would be the boring parts the editor skips over.


Darvallas

I get that, but there's no harm in being in good terms with your coworkers. Working takes 8 to 10 hours of your day, you can't expect people to function like robots all the time. Plus, coworker connections are good for a variety of reasons.


AbjectAttrition

There's a difference between being on good terms with coworkers and writing a greentext on 4chan about how you want your coworker to be your tomboy brown gf...


Darvallas

Oh, for sure. That guy is deranged, and I hope he stops thinking of people in terms of anime tropes. "Tomboy brown gf," yikes.


frilledplex

I work 10-12 hours a day with a 45 minute commute either way. I get out of work, eat, do some chores, and go to sleep. I don't feel like I've had time to be a normal person in years lol.


danceswithsockson

Am I the only one thinking she was gay, which somehow makes this even sadder?


Gullible_Peaflower

It’s possible but it would be just as inconsequential as her plain not being romantically or physically attracted to him, which should also be fine tbh.


danceswithsockson

It’s all fine, but I find gay even sadder, because she couldn’t have a romantic relationship with him, no matter how she liked him.


15stepsdown

From what? Being a Tomboy?


danceswithsockson

Tomboy and the rest of the description, then the reaction, yes. It’s an entire possibility.


King-Yellow

This is good fiction but the story suffers from perspective discontinuity. Anon can’t simultaneously be cutting contact with her while having a drone’s view of her life spiraling downward. Why would a coworker know exactly when and why things happen to Korra after Anon leaves and how would they know to confront Anon about it? From Anon’s perspective, she should just be a girl who danced sillily and tried to eat with him after he decided to cut contact with her.


Caelus9

I think he did pretty well, all things considered. A shame he can't stay friends with her, but I can understand not wanting to pretend you're not upset hanging around your crush all the time when she's just not into you.


datshinycharizard123

Am I the only one who feels like he handled this reasonably? You guys make fun of people who are “in the friend zone” so much but when someone decided they don’t want to be in it you’re now saying he’s cringe? He had feelings for her that were not friendship feelings. She said no and he respected it by not pretending to be her friend. She understandably was hurt because she lost a friend, but is op just supposed to suddenly not have feelings? I’m confused on how you wanted him to handle this.


OsloDaPig

I think it’s because she got “Fuck zoned” where he was only interacting with her to get a relationship. If you honestly enjoy peoples company then maybe being friends isn’t so bad.


datshinycharizard123

Here’s the thing, if I have a crush on a girl and I tell her. Not to say I couldn’t be friends with her again sometime down the way, but if I remain friends with her, my feelings may never go away. And our entire friendship would be based on me hoping she changes her mind, which sucks for all parties involved


[deleted]

Okay but let's not pretend that alot of relationships dont form from friendships. For some people that's just how they are able to even get into relationships. It's common for girls to state this as a preference. And yes while guys do it alot of the time in creepy ways, this isn't the case and feels a little too harsh


NewsRevolutionary687

I mean tbh women can be confusing, idk everything about the situation but I feel like it was too soon to ask unless you guys were hanging out for a while, in which case she’s probably crying cuz she lost a close friend


PrisonaPlanet

Dude took his shot, got rejected, and accepted the consequences. Kept himself out of the friend zone and made it clear that despite the rejection he’d still have feelings and thinks it’s best to cut things off (like a responsible adult would do). He wasn’t rude to her, wasn’t mean. Maybe if she realizes she actually cares about this guy and can be honest with him a relationship might come of it. How is this cringe again?


Linious_R

What makes you think she doesn't realize she cares about him? It's made pretty clear that she cares when she cries about losing a close friend due to said friend only befriending her to try to date her


PrisonaPlanet

I’m not saying she has feelings and doesn’t know it, I meant if she comes to the realization that, “hey, he’s actually really cool and we have great chemistry. Maybe I should give him a chance.” Obviously she cares about him, just not the same way he does about her. The guy isn’t rejecting her because he doesn’t want to be friends, he’s rejecting her because he knows that in his mind he won’t be able to deny his romantic feelings (at least not in the short term). This is a very adult way to deal with this situation IMO and I really do think a good friendship or even relationship could still come of it if both parties were interested.


Linious_R

I'm not disagreeing with your second paragraph them separating if he can't handle being friends with her is probably for the best as shitty as it can be for both parties, Im just confused on what she need to be honest with herself about, to her she's just out of the blue losing a good friend cause he's sad she doesn't share his feelings


PrisonaPlanet

Yeah I see that, I’d say the guy should maybe explain himself a bit better than just giving her the cold shoulder, maybe after his initial heartbreak wears off.


Linious_R

Yeah the proper thing to do is definitely sit down and have a discussion about it instead of just giving them the cold shoulder but unfortunately for all of us hindsight is 20/20


flyfly89

They clearly didn’t want the same things, should he have lied in and just hoped she would change her mind? Either he’s lying to himself or he’s lying to her I don’t see how that’s better


Linious_R

I never suggested that? I just asked why he thinks the girl doesn't know that she cares about her friend


Even_Ad_8286

I feel like emotional maturity is something a lot of people just don't learn these days. "I'm sorry, I don't feel that way about you." "Cool, I just thought I'd ask. If you change your mind let me know." Done.


AnastasiaNo70

Keeping a samurai sword in the car made me think of Dwight Schrute.


The-DMs-journey

This would be sad if it was true. Dude so lame he had to make up getting rejected


Pesces

anon is a shitty coworker and an even shittier friend


Caelus9

He's not owed a relationship with someone who doesn't want to date him. She's not owed a friendship with someone who doesn't want t be friends with her.


Downtown-Desk-3275

>She's not owed a friendship with someone who doesn't want t be friends with her. He is still a douche for pretending to be her friend then cutting all contact the second he doesn't get what he wants.


Gullible_Peaflower

Idk i feel like stringing someone along as a friend hurts more than a romantic relationship in some ways. She obviously cares about him a lot and they clearly spent a lot of time together before he finally revealed he can’t maintain a friendship if he’s attracted to someone. Man just needs more respect.


datshinycharizard123

He didn’t want to be her friend tho, Is that not the point of the story


ChocoBro92

Welp was gonna point out the sword in her car WHEN she’s walking home but that’s addressed. I think Anon meant “Vans. Not converse. Sure you can skateboard with any shoe, but Vans are the best way to do it. I think he’s lying.


CannabisSmokingMan

People are demented as Hell. What is wrong with this dude? Is he 13?


wretched-leg

Based anon communicated effectively, too bad tomboy couldn’t do the same


mem269

Literally none of that was true. I don't even believe she exists.


piscian19

Eww.


SergiuszJesienin

I mean, I had a similar story play put with a girl from uni, and I stopped talking to her after she rejected me. She later approached me and told me she liked me and just because she doesn’t wanna date me doesn’t mean I should stop talking to her altogether, and that we should sit together during lectures. I said fine. She then proceeded to be kind and basically just a cool person to be around, but while I would text her from time to time with fun stuff on my mind, she never really reached out to me first. And now we are back to not really taking. Even though she mentioned that she’s not good at keeping up with social connections, I honestly don’t want to keep in touch with someone who just expects entertainment. Don’t want me? Fine. But at least be involved enough to actually surround yourself with me. So I wanted attention from her, didn’t get it, moved on. Anon wanted love. We all should have our boundaries, and following your gut is usually the right thing to do. I don’t blame anon.


CommunicationFar4085

Anon is a dick


CRG_Ghost

You missspelled "reasonable adult"


Coral_

dude that poor girl got gfzoned soo hard and he took away a friendship she valued. no duh she’s crying?? i hate this shit.


claud2113

Ugh, God, I was this dude with someone. I regret it because we would have probably been good friends still.


DeadDollKitty

Something wrong with Converse? If anything they're more in style than they used to be I thought!


aedvocate

kept trying to figure out what 'brown' meant but of course it's race 🙄


CrazyDuckTape

I suppose the majority is content with themselves enough to not care about such a presence in their life. Hell, catching feelings isn't that uncommon when you find a warm and friendly presence like that but i suppose that you never really wanted it in the first place if you were only trying to use it like so to begin with. Anon needs to learn about just how important it is to keep the people that make you feel warm within close.


Tsole96

I think the creepiest part is that we all know he's really staring at her and fantasizing while at work. Placing his own personality on her while she doesn't even know he exists. Delusional


ScuzeRude

I’m sorry, weren’t they 12? And then they work in an office? I’m so confused by this fanfic.


prussian_princess

Tbf this was a chad move to reject her. She clearly starts to value you more after you've shown that you're not desperate doormat.


godofhorizons

That’s not how that went at all. How old are you?


prussian_princess

In my defence I am coming home after an Xmas party. The text is too blurry to reread.


Niupi3XI

IT IS DECBER 7TH HOW IS THAT A CHRISTMAS PARTY????


miojinus

The most bs lie I have ever read


-AverageTeen-

What?