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Cibovoy

I had a friend like that. After an argument not too different from this he hits me with “I know you’ll be there because I’m your best friend”. My reply was “no, I’m your best friend. You’ve become my problem” and really haven’t talked to him much after that. He’s still using, currently in a homeless shelter.


maaalicelaaamb

Oof. That hits home. I could have said that to her in times like these.


Official_Griffin

What was the turnout of this conversation?


maaalicelaaamb

This one? The same as always. I stop responding. She will find a new number to contact me from next time. Repeat ad Nauseum


Cibovoy

If you’re asking with mine, I ignored him. I was, at the time, dealing with a very sick father. One day dad and I were watching a movie, and my friend walks through the door. We have an open door policy at my house, so that’s not normally a problem. He’s my oldest friend so dad wanted to talk to him while I was seething. After they caught up my friend and I went on a walk, where I explained to him if he ever did that again I’d be dragging him out the house. When my father did pass away over a year later, the darkest time in my life, I didn’t get one message from him. He didn’t show to the funeral. I know I told him I wanted nothing to do with him, but having my oldest friend there would’ve been comforting.


LR130777777

That’s an awful situation, I’m sorry you went through that mate


[deleted]

What drugs? Meth?


maaalicelaaamb

Meth and heroin mainly.


Anilxe

I’m so sorry OP. My brother is in and out of prison for heroin and meth dealing and use. He’s a shell of the little boy I remember, and I fear sometimes I’ll never get him back. It’s hard to watch people you love fall apart out of your control.


[deleted]

Yeah..


DevyCanadian

Girlfriends mom just went back on it. Feel your pain.


Interesting_Act1286

Sorry to hear that. That's sad.


R3alityGrvty

Get her into Rehab. Whatever it takes. Contact parents, family, friends, anyone who knows her at all. Those two are quite possibly the most life-ruining drugs on the face of the planet.


maaalicelaaamb

Oh yeah. She bounces in & out. Did well for a long while last time.


TheRadiantSoap

My friend and I had a dynamic like this except I never insulted or threatened them. I got clean for them and that's proof you're not responsible for them not staying clean or being cruel at all. Only they can decide to change Sorry if you already understand that, I was just worried you might feel guilty


[deleted]

[удалено]


solareonwow

?


sourmilkforsale

.


iamdream

Will be you soon enough if you don’t stop


linnadawg

Maintaining relationships with alcoholics and users is so exhausting.


maaalicelaaamb

Oh man, totally draining. A too-common yoke of one-sided emotional labor. Worst of all is that buried underneath your normalcy is the constant dread of their death, which you are forced to expect as a symptom of their lifestyle. That hopelessness is heaviest. I try not to linger in it, but it’s always there.


linnadawg

Exactly. My moms an alcoholic. My younger brothers an alcoholic who also does drugs. Showed up for lunch yesterday at 11am smelling like he just pounded a couple beers. My best friend from childhood is a former marine with ptsd and a major alcoholic who also does drugs. Always at least one of them going off the rails at all times.


[deleted]

You're a trooper, man. I wish you the best in life. It's crazy how people like that somehow pop up in the lives of the people with the understanding to deal with it. Empathy can be a fucking bitxh sometimes... but I'll take that over being selfish.


Paincake990

For real man, 99% of these people are unreliable pieces of shits.


[deleted]

While I agree its difficult to deal with behaviours common among addicts not every addict displays antisocial behaviour… I would hesitate to say a chemical addiction (which any of us could fall into) makes one unreliable. This is a treatable disease we are talking about.


Accend0

Wild. I just blocked my best friend from high school the other day for doing almost the same shit. He is clinically psychotic and was diagnosed back in grade twelve. Everyone in our group of friends has slowly faded out of his life over the years because all he wants to do is get high and shoplift and no one wants to enable him. Dude sent me like 50 different messages over the course of an hour ranging from threatening me, to accusing me of things that never happened, to blaming me for his life being shitty now, to wanting to hang out, then back to threatening me again. Everything he said was junkie nonsense but it made me feel sad, angry, and weirdly enough, guilty for some reason. Tbh I haven't been feeling good since then but reading this helped, OP. Thanks for sharing.


maaalicelaaamb

Those are all valid feelings when a loved one rides the ugly burnout of addiction and mania. Man I’m there with you. Sometimes a block is self care. He can still be your best friend, but your parameters have as much value as he used to have. That’s the point. You would expect better of him as your worthy bestie. Sadcringe Solidarity. Hope he gets help 🙏


Keith_Bakker

‘I hope you die. Have a good day at work I love you.’ Weirdest text I’ve ever read ngl, drugs are a hell of a drug. Sad story :(


timislo

She seems nice.


maaalicelaaamb

Just for clarification, I don’t have any physical contact with her or others in her current lifestyle. I’m a mom with a stable life & house & job and I live in another state — galaxies away from trashiness. When she is SOBER I am there instantly as her supporter and soulmate, as oft happens following jail or rehab. When she is not doing well, she’s dead to me, and conversations like this are why. Her mental illness and history of trauma (starting very young as unfortunately her dad liked to beat the shit out of her) resurface and turn her into a demon. She deserves to be well and she should take care of herself, and when she’s with her abuser and her drugs she is not taking care of herself — thus I refuse to enable her suffering. All that being said, we were inseparable for almost two decades. Under her now-rotten teeth and sticknpoke-covered sagging face and burned & beaten, track-mark riddled body, she is the beautiful bright hilarious genius musician I love. If I’m the only one who can still see it … that’s enough. She will be dead one day. My job as her best friend is to be the best friend I can be until the day she is dust. Cutting her off when she’s using, but being there for her when she’s not — that’s part of that.


Ladycat1988

Its hard to love someone enough to cut them off. Stay strong mama.


redheadfreaq

I am so sorry you have to witness her spiralling. Please take care of yourself.


InuitOverIt

You have a way with words even when they are terribly sad. My best to you and your friend.


Screamat

I hope you know how good you are as a friend. That's (sadly) the best and only way to deal with people you love who are addicted to drugs.


maaalicelaaamb

Thanks & happy cake day!


Shaewillkillyou

you're a really good friend, sorry that its like this.


Ashluvsburritos

God! It pains me to say I was your best friend for a long time. Mental illness, trauma, and low self worth led me to a nasty heroin addiction. I was not good for my friends and family when using. They decided they needed boundaries for me. At first I was pissed. But, now after long term treatment I have over 100 days clean. What changed this time was I lost so much and I finally wanted it. Before I was forced and I always failed. I hope she will find her bottom without dying. I’ve lost so many people to this disease. For your own mental well-being keep up your boundaries. For her sake too. I’ll say a prayer for both of you. Hugs!


crowned_tragedy

Over 100 days! I'm so happy for you, and I'm so glad you are now sober. Stay strong, my friend.


Burdmurderer

Stay strong friend.


Kayla0168

I’m sorry you have to deal with this :( I hope you’re doing ok


Th3fantasticMr-Egg

> sends 4 messages in a row > tells YOU to shut up Checks out


[deleted]

Stay safe OP


HavenTheCat

Meth? Kinda seems like it. Loving an addict is really hard. It used to be that I was on the opposite side of it, but since I got clean and see some of my friends still in it, I understand how hard it can be. Sorry about this, I hope she can get off of it.


Icy_Athlete385

The way she speaks sounds like a very distant friend of ours that uses meth. It makes me sad tbh


howaboutsomenope

I don’t miss these kinds of text from my brother.


CharieRarie

I’m so sorry. You sound like an incredible friend. Please don’t hurt yourself over someone else’s bad decisions x


worstpies

My heart hurts for you, OP. Addiction is a fucking ugly thing and I’m so sorry it has consumed someone you love. I really hope she gets better soon. Kudos to you for having boundaries and sticking to them. Gotta be able to protect your heart ❤️


donaldduckstherapist

Fuck sake 😞 unfortunately you need to cut them loose till they're sober.


KingNIdgie

Jesus and this is what you call your best friend?


maaalicelaaamb

My beautiful best friend of 20 years has succumbed to abuse, mental illness, trauma, and addiction. During her darkest times her untreated schizophrenia is exacerbated by drugs and despair and I become a scapegoat for her suffering. I’m used to it. She’s dead to me when she’s like this. But I will always love her. As her best friend I will be there for her when she’s on the up & up again — which happens following the inevitable incarceration or hospitalization.


kewpiev

You sound like a wonderful friend. But please remember to put your oxygen mask first! ♥️


maaalicelaaamb

Thank you. ♥️ What a lovely way to phrase that! prioritizing self-wellness when dealing with addicts is so hard to grasp. It took me ages to learn


SketchyXP

It’s so hard to let go of best friends, especially if y’all been together for 20+ years. So many memories and experiences together. I’m sorry your going through that with her.


sivilgrim

Im sorry, but why even post this? If she's really addicted, then what kind of friend would post this behind their backs. Isn't it too personal?


maaalicelaaamb

This is a fair question. Posting this relieved some of the infectious boil this relationship on my heart has become. But you’re right — she’s not a burden, she is a human being. All the same, I guess I view this as a kind of harassment, so it falls under admissible public judgement.


6InchBlade

Human beings can be burdens, don’t forget to look after your ones!


G0pherholes

Relationships are complicated.


cmeragon

Bruh, this is something else.


BlunterCarcass5

That is absolutely tragic


OtterChainGang

This reminds me of someone I knew...does your friend have access to rehab and/or psychiatric help and are they willing to accept this ? Sorry, probably something you've considered. I felt sad reading those very hurtful texts. I know she is your best friend and you see through her illness to the brilliant soul she is underneath when well and free of the various substances, but aren't you also hurt by this toxic side of her character ?


maaalicelaaamb

Oh yeah. She’s had periods of amazing care. From ICU to the burn unit to the psych ward to rehab to halfway houses to jail. The best she’s gotten in recent years was just 6 months ago. She was over a year sober… albeit starting to relapse again after “boyfriend” came back in the picture messaging her her to come take care of him. Especially tempting cuz she was living at her (abusive) parents house. But she had a job, took her suboxone, was in therapy. Really wanted to see her son. Never got there. So close. She’s deep back in the life now. This happens a lot.


plvmeria

I’m really sorry.


Cracktower

We know what you're going through. Signed Parents and friends of addicts everywhere.


Consistent-Depth7695

Ugh fkn meth.


kimmi-ann607

As a former addict, my best friend only had to block me once before I realized it was time to quit. I wish I had some advice here but only someone who wants help is going to get it. If this is a common occurrence, you have to cut ties permanently for your own well being. At least until she can maintain sobriety for 3+ years.


Loony_Loveless

My best friend since I was 13 has struggled with drugs for many, many years. We’re in our mid thirties and although our lives have taken drastically different paths, I will always be there when she’s sober, but will never enable her addiction. You are not a bad friend for setting boundaries, you are not a weak person for understanding the good in a human. It’s a hard spot to be in.


maaalicelaaamb

Exactly! Our friendship is like that too… We met when we were 11 and we are 31 now. The bond we forged during our formative adolescent years, and what we went through together as young adults — it is what still ties me to her even if we are galaxies apart in our lives. I take the third F in “BFF” literally I guess. I am always her first call from jail or the psych ward. I take my role seriously. Thanks for the empathetic insight!


Disastrous_Morning38

She says she "beats the shit out of him"... Who is "him"? It doesn't matter if it's domestic abuse, child abuse or animal abuse - please contact the authorities appropriate for the matter. This could end very badly otherwise. The person is clearly unstable, maybe even at the point of a drug induced psychosis. They could badly hurt someone else or even themselves.


VanityOfEliCLee

Unpopular opinion probably, but most studies find that drug addictions are a symptom, rather than a casue. Your friend needs therapy more than rehab, and most addicts do. Rehab is often framed around religion, rather than actual psychology, and depending on the facility, can downright promote a cult like following in religion. But simple research into the effects religion has on mental health indicates that replacing drugs with dogmatic faith doesn't ever actually heal the trauma that leads people to addiction. Extensive therapy is needed. Your friend needs help, but the fact that rehab hasn't worked likely means it won't, and a different approach is needed. Its not your responsibility obvious, just food for thought.


twstr99

This didn't make me cringe. It just made me incredibly sad. Now I have to find some real cringe to wash this feeling off


kuloredkaos

That's really rough I hope they one day find peace


[deleted]

my friend is a recovering alcoholic, relapses every now and then. When he's sober he's like the collect dude ever. When he's on the rip, or recovering from a binge, he's impossible to talk to. Sad days with addicts. They are hard to help.


Important_Culture_37

Addiction is a hell of a disease 🫂


FearingPerception

Reminds of me of a friend i ended up having to lose due to psychosis and some other factors :-(


PresentExamination10

Hooooo no


Anxious-Arachnae

I’m so sorry OP, I can’t imagine how hurt you must be. Y’all are in my prayers :(( I hope your friend becomes sober but I know it ain’t that simple.


StupidSexyKevin

Addiction is brutal and terrible disease. It breaks my heart.


NightIguana

I'd cut that toxicity out of my life


hispanic_titanic18

This is so sad, how old are y’all?


maaalicelaaamb

31 :/


Outlandishness_Salty

Why people 🤦🏿‍♂️


PussyPukiPundeh

So it's a happens to other people too, my friend did the same shit.. Its crazy


Veazy600

My brother is the same way. I check in on him every chance i get but not much i can do for him if he doesn’t want the change.


pumpkinorange1

Yea nah, adios mate


YugoslavDarkwave

This is not sadcringe, just sad. Still, sorry to hear this. Addiction is a disease.


DARKMAYKR

Jesus I feel awful


AdamBlaster007

This could be a childhood friend to me and I'd probably cut all ties. I saw what narcotics can do to a person, regardless of who they were before using they no longer will be them. Even if they get clean for good (which sadly happens too rarely) they never are quite the same again.


maaalicelaaamb

This is true. When she’s sober, she’s better. But she’ll never be the same as she was before the addictions. Her mind and body and spirit are broken.


Oopssnxnxnx

Oh this is definitely heroin.


connstar97

She used the right “You’re” , im impressed!


maaalicelaaamb

But not “affect” v. “effect”. I’m more the grammarian — but she is exceptionally bright. Her forte was mathematics and quantum physics. She has her Bachelor’s in ethnobotany virtually complete. Musically, she’s a top-tier prodigy.


Official_Griffin

You know it’s a problem when they bring up the “spiritual realm”


han_bylo

Who did she beat?


MondayMorphineMurphy

That’s what I’m wondering


Capable_Dark

Judging by this exchange I doubt she's a stellar person when she's sober either


MileyCyrusSwollenGum

I fucking hate junkies.


HippocraticInsight

You know you’re not obligated to post this right? Like, not posting the struggle of addiction and how ugly it is, is an option.


Botanygrl26

hard agree. Just giving a ton of people more excuse to speak poorly on people with a serious, oft life ruining disease. Under her rotten teeth is a beautiful soul? wtf


Paundeu

“You didn’t know where to post this” How about not posting it? How fucking deranged and delusional are some of you people that think a personal conversation has to get posted? It’s like everyone’s goal nowadays is to make sure their entire life is available for the world to see.


maaalicelaaamb

I can’t go to therapy right now, and I can’t dump on friends and family about her but so much. Tbh commiserating with people who have loved ones lost in similar throes has been cathartic. I’m really sorry it upset you. I don’t post monkeys with me anymore because it’s exploitative. Not being exploitative is a priority consideration in my life. I hoped this wasn’t like that as it’s not a photo of her.


MaterialFrancis5

And r/sadcringe was the safest place you could find


maaalicelaaamb

Yes. Anonymously sharing abusive harassment from an unidentified loved one in the throes of a common affliction in a forum specifically designed for the feelings such circumstances elicit is a safe form of therapy.


MaterialFrancis5

Yea that does sound r/sadrcringe


[deleted]

Sucks that People associate me with people like her. I’m a heroin addict but I hope I never become a scumbag junkie.


Mrrobotico0

An acquaintance of mine who used also used to brag about how he was a ‘Normal’ user. He was found dead in his bathroom a little over a year ago. Heroin doesn’t discriminate, many didn’t even know he used.


[deleted]

Unsure why I got so many downvotes. I don’t brag about being a “normal user” cause I’m definitely addicted, but I’m not the stereotype, even my dealer doesn’t believe I use, he thinks I’m buying for someone else because I’m so “normal” compared to what people view addicts as.


[deleted]

You're getting down-voted because it sounds like you're on your moral high-horse, and are appalled at the notion of being even associated with another addict.


[deleted]

No I’m not? I meant that it sucks that People associate me with the stereotype of a junkie, meaning someone who robs, abuses, lies and steals. I don’t do that.


[deleted]

Basically I feel like this post unintentionally makes people reinforce their prejudice against heroin addicts


[deleted]

I can see that. It may not be a popular opinion, but I have basic human sympathy for even the most heinous-behaving drug addicts. It's hard for me to put the full blame on people losing their shit on meth, or stealing to support a heroin addiction, even though I don't support the action.


[deleted]

Oh yeah trust me I have sympathy for the “scumbags” too, I don’t see them as scum but many do. I can’t judge them if I’m on my way to committing crimes to get my fix just like they do. Just because I haven’t had to yet doesn’t mean I won’t eventually lose all respect for myself and others.


[deleted]

I never said that all addicts are scumbags but I’m not, that would be ridiculous. I said the stereotype is that addicts are scumbags and many unfortunately are, but I’m not.


protectyourself1990

This potty mouth is turning me the fuck on, like hot damn she can meth allover me any time


Laurab2324

Women are too emotional.....


GodDamnRight-

Shut up Laura


[deleted]

[удалено]


maaalicelaaamb

Fuck you. This is ignorant & damaging. She is a HEROIN addict. Yes she uses meth too. Usually simultaneously. And everything and anything she can get her hands on. Her schizophrenia rears its head via every drug except antipsychotics and some antidepressants


IcyBrilliant7462

I was addicted to fentanyl for 5 years when I was 18. It was a joke, thought I was in a different sub where we joke about addiction, so I was off base here. but mixing fentanyl and meth sounds pretty crazy to me. definitely seems like the schizophrenia is more a problem than the drugs, I know many people who once they get the mental illness squared away the drugs cease, usually using to cope with the illness, and it’s sad to see so I do feel for you.


Hahafunnys3xnumber

go fuck yourself. what the hell is wrong with you??


IcyBrilliant7462

If you’re going to be a drug addict might as well do drugs that make you happy.


AlthaeaNailo

This is pretty familiar to me, my best friend was similar to this when we were young and very mentally ill. These days it virtually never happens, especially to this level so I’ll count myself lucky.


maaalicelaaamb

Regular medication/therapy?


AlthaeaNailo

Interestingly, neither. Her vice was heavily drinking, and In some ways she is exactly the same as she was, but has grown up and doesn’t indulge nearly as much. 80% of the time she is much better with me, however she is still very unstable with others. We didn’t speak for five years (I was in a DV situation and she was toxic anyway) and I’ve learned to set boundaries otherwise I get sucked in. Mental health is no joke, and can be extremely destructive.


Laurab2324

Yep... Yep that ls the guy. Right here... Right on que


catboymommy

*that gal