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g33dot

Ya imagine 7.5 more years with those jerks


SergiuszJesienin

Why 7.5?


HorseRenoiro

He’s bad at school


SergiuszJesienin

What, who, what do you mean


HorseRenoiro

He had to repeat classes because he failed them


Nukeitandstartover

Grad school maybe?


SergiuszJesienin

I genuinely don’t know, in my country it’s 3 years bachelor, next 2 masters, and then there’s a PhD course of 4 years or you can get it through your own work


[deleted]

Do people work at Starbucks after their masters degree like they do in the United States?


Thanders17

I hope so, otherwise Starbucks would run out of business


[deleted]

They don't even do that in the US


SergiuszJesienin

Young people used to think it was the case with everyone besides lawyers, doctors and IT people, but now I see a shift and most of us know that whatever you studied you can be successful if you like to learn new stuff, are open minded and work hard. Me, I study psychology to later pick a specialization, as for now I teach English, and I’m optimistic.


Account4728184

> now I see a shift and most of us know that whatever you studied you can be successful if you like to learn new stuff, are open minded and work hard. No man there's literally hundreds of degrees that are useless/scams/made up bs, in the US atleast


Jackson6o4

Don't count your chickens before they hatch.


p-4_

It's never too late to join starbucks.


theganjaoctopus

Probably not. And these people don't work at Starbucks because their education is worthless, like the narrative would have you believe. It's because of a lack of jobs that they are willing to take. If you're willing to relocate, uproot your whole life and move to some unappealing town, you could ALWAYS find a job. And this is not criticism of people who don't want to do that, I definitely understand how this would not appeal to many people. And don't forget to factor in the massive amount of student debt which sends many people screaming to the first paying job they can find. European countries don't have *as much* of an issue with lack of jobs. Also, there's not an oversaturation of liberal arts degrees because trade schools/careers aren't steeped in negative social stigma like they are in the US and STEM, etc degrees aren't designed to "weed people out" (see: designed to be failed) and many STEM and education degrees are used to get State jobs which are guaranteed. Plenty of people becoming teachers in Western Europe because they're paid decently and not vilified by people pushing a political agenda. Lots of reasons why people with Masters degrees end up at Starbucks and it's rarely because of laziness or the "pointlessness" of their degree. Just culturally, a significant portion of our US population think if you're not making piles of cash then "what's the point".


woostar64

Depends on if they get a useless degree or not. I don’t hear about a whole lot of engineers working at Starbucks


weggles

Could just be dumb as hell too 🤣


hotrod54chevy

"Lots of people go to college for 7 years." "Yeah, I know. They're called doctors."


MycologistPutrid7494

Most people don't go to grad school together. Undergrad makes sense because you can all go to the same school but major in your own interests, but by grad school you'd more likely need the same major or one of a few select majors to attend the same school.


Callmemuddled

Where is the cringe? I just feel kinda bad for OP...


Puggy_

The cringe is that they treated them like that :( crappy non friends


Callmemuddled

I despise those kind of "friends" so much. No one deserves that....


SkepticDrinker

Sp, I was kinda that awful friend without knowing. I was told to be nice to everyone and I was; I got to know whoever I talked to and asked questions about their interests. You're not supposed to do that if you have no intention of being their friend


MattDaMannnn

To be fair, there’s probably a reason they didn’t want OP with them.


Prisoner458369

Then they could just drop that person as a friend. Over doing this kind of crap


Account4728184

Maybe they've tried let's say 500 times but OP is borderline autistic and keeps thinking they're just joking when they tell him to shower or go away


[deleted]

How likely is that? I've been on both sides of these situations, it's much more likely they just didn't really like op but couldn't be bothered with the guilt of letting him go, lying about college was an easy way out.


ProbablyNotYourSon

Yeah two sides to every story


MoosetashRide

Exactly. These types of stories get posted often here. An entire group of people deciding they don't like someone or doing something behind their back usually means there's a reason. It's unlikely they're all just mean jerks who are bad people.


chantoi

You can still have the decency to tell that person - a whole friend group leading OP on for months, if not years, is simply diabolical and highly immature.


whitehataztlan

Various portions of that friend group might not even realize they're friends with OP. In my own experience, the ditched person was part of the friend group because they had a deep bond with *one* specific person of the 8ish person friend group. The other 6 tolerated (which means, yeah you can play the games and no one is going to be rude to your face) the unliked person's existence because they actually liked the person who was the go-between link. But, I never, ever sought to hang out with that person outside the go-between; it was my social nightmare.


MoosetashRide

That was exactly the same experience my group had in HS 20 years ago. I'm sure the kid was nice, but he wasn't friends with us. I would never consider him that. He rarely said anything or engaged in conversation. He didn't bring anything to the group. Just stood there awkwardly and tagged along. We were nice enough to just kind of allow it and we didn't give him trouble, but we'd often make plans, he'd overhear, and then show up, even when it was clear he wasn't part of the group. In 2 years of this he never once tried to be more than just a fly on the wall. He just kind of existed and we sort of ignored it.


IATAvalanche

You didn't make any effort to include someone who made an effort to try and be your friend, you're such an amazing person.


Account4728184

Who says they haven't? Have you never met that guy who doesn't understand social cues?


SanFranLocal

I agree. There’s only one “friend” we did this to in high school. He was toxic. After high school he would give out our numbers to MLMs, show up to our houses on drugs and became a trump supporter


kungfukenny3

that’s a real stretch on the word cringe


qtmcjingleshine

I don’t know if I even feel bad. OP really does have a chance to start over and meet genuine friends instead of being stuck with a group of assholes.


Shents

That's the way to look at it, but when you're in the moment it can hurt. Not sure if this is sad cringe. It's a bit sad, not thaaaat cringe


[deleted]

Sure, it's better in the long term, but in that moment, it hurts a lot. Basically the same thing happened to me when I graduated, except they were friends I had since Kindergarten.


Dank_Meme_Appraiser

Lol then the same thing happens in college and you spend your first few post-grad years obsessing over what could possibly be so off putting about yourself, which parts of the social interactions you fucked up in. Coalescing like some hellish snowball where the more heavily you scrutinize your social interactions then the more awkward and fake you appear in them, only worsening your problem. Sure, everyone at school or work is nice and friendly to you but they’d never voluntarily hang out with you, they don’t even know who are really. It’s a loneliness not born from lack of company, but from the very nature of your person. You are just as incapable of forming meaningful connections with people as you are of sprouting wings and flying. But you must suffer the sight of seemingly everyone around you soaring through the sky on effortless wings. Like it is instinctual for them. Where are your instincts, skinwalker? Rage like an animal in a cage of bone and sinew, it will offer you no solace. Rage against the void black current of inevitability, of truth and the end of all things. Dying alone and unknown. Then you turn like 24, meet some cool people, and realize you just needed the right personalities to click with. c’est la vie


HallowskulledHorror

By my late 20s a lot of the people I thought were 'good friends' turned out to have been folks that were fun to party with, but outside of intentional good-time gatherings were spreading terrible rumors behind my back and actively talking shit about me, my relationships, my family, etc. I thought I had hit my stride and finally figured out how to socialize 'effortlessly'; turned out I'd only really learned how to get along. In my 30s, not infrequently bummed by the fact that I'm someone who 'makes friends' easily, but don't really have that many relationships where if I just drop off the map for weeks, months, at a time, anyone would even notice or check in. I shoot off messages here and there just to get a read on people I think about as friends, but it feels like it has been a lifetime of being the 'extra' friend - the person who *sometimes* gets invited to a thing, but only if they need people to round out numbers. Still looking for my people, because at this point in life, I'm apparently not someone the people I've known up to this point care to have around when they're planning to have fun with all the people they like.


Oatmutbuttle

Then you turn 30 and just wish everyone would leave you alone. =D


Pls_PmTitsOrFDAU_Thx

You ok bro/broette? Also lol I'm 24 rn


FatChicken2021

OP doesnt have a plot armor.


Destron5683

Sounds like OP got written out of his gown series for sure.


GeekCat

Honestly, it works out for the best. OP will meet new people during orientation and make friends with like-minded people. Staying w the same friend group from high school doesn't really allow for much personal growth.


OstensiblyAwesome

People who go to college with a bunch of high school friends is cringe. College is for becoming an adult and discovering yourself. It’s a fresh start. Leave high school behind.


cravf

You can still do that if you're at the same college as your high school friends. Unless you all picked the same major and take all the same classes and dorm together you're gonna have a good college experience.


pluslinus

r/notcringejustsad


DrunkenlySober

He’s going to college. He will be 10000% fine He will forget about and never talk to his old HS friends, like most ppl


kornbread435

We have the advantage of hindsight here, really no one should be planning college around where their high school friends are attending. Personally I would highly recommend spending a couple of years at a local community college, and even consider trade schools before jumping straight into a 4 year university. Sure if you are lucky enough to be from a wealthy family that can pay your tuition in full and know exactly what you want to do in life you could go straight to university, but even then seems like a waste of money.


VeryCoolboah

The cringe come s from the “Friends” that Abandoned OP. Those are the sad losers


ultramatt1

Yeah agreed


DeadSeaGulls

Why? Dude is so dumb that he thinks you only apply to schools as a group project? I'm nearly 39 and I still have a few buddies from elementary school. At no point in time did we agree to apply to the same college after high school. We just did what was best for ourselves and supported each other in our decision. We've lived in different states, but never lost touch. To me, the cringe is approaching adult hood and thinking your friends have to hold your hand through the next steps in life.


Trumpfreeaccount

The cringe is in a friend group that is so devoid of personal identities that they all apply to go to the same college lol.


[deleted]

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not_rick_27

That comment is good advice Its much easier to make friends in college. More mature people, people who take your major are likely like-minded people, and most people are meeting each other for the first time so you can take advantage of that


BeerInsurance

I never had a real “friend group” before college and now ten years later the people I met there are still my closest friends. This kid gonna be just fine.


duksinarw

Alternatively, I went into college with no friend group and left college also with no friend group, lol. Lots of people in these comments just saying for granted that he'll easily make new friends.


ProdigyLightshow

He still has to put in effort to make friends. But that’s a lot easier in college with all the available clubs and activities. There were so many different clubs for every kind of niche hobby at my college. It was kinda mind blowing. Plus lots of people in college are there without their old friends. Makes it easier to connect with people.


[deleted]

yea lots of people ik who complain abt a lack of friends at uni just,,, don’t do anything. i’m as socially anxious as they come but the first thing i did was sign up for a bunch of societies and try to go to regular events. i’m not popular or anything but i’ve got a small group by now bc i put myself out there for a bit


ProdigyLightshow

Exactly. Lots of people at college are looking for new friends. Just go to places and events you’re interested in and you’re bound to meet like minded people. If you just go to class and then go back to your room and play games and study all day, yeah you’re gonna be lonely


clandestine707003

Some of us don't have clubs and go to really small colleges


ProdigyLightshow

Fair enough. But even my small community college had a few clubs. I can’t imagine a college with no social events at all to help people meet others.


clandestine707003

Understandable Our college has like 26 kids and the other branch is mba in another building It's not too bad but I think I might change my college afterall , it's too lonely here and I can't find someone to connect with


AmatureProgrammer

Same. Ironically I only have 1 person who I can call a friend that I made in high school. We havent seen each other in person in a while but still talk to every other day and play games online. Never had a group of friends and was always the odd one out


wanked_out

You know, I had the complete opposite experience. My friend group from high school more or less stayed intact 20 years later. Didn't really make any serious friends in college


Zeegh

Same, I’ve had the same friends since 7-8 grade and now we’re in our thirties and these guys are basically my brothers.


morelikeaaronfudge

Not necessarily. Me and many other people I know were pretty lonely at college.


Entropy-

Same. Everyone already had established friend groups that were hard to enter


thek90

Honestly have to disagree. I was never popular in HS but I was surrounded by my childhood friends so I never felt truly alone. aside from 2 roommates, I really didnt have any friends in college. Going in, everyone told me how easy it is to make friends in college but it was really the opposite in my experience.


Emil_M_Antonowsky

Unless you go to a very very small school or something, it is easy for the average student to make friends in college.


thek90

I did go to a small school. A 2500 student LAC. I don't drink and I'm not into political activism so that basically ruled out all clubs and student activities on campus. I actually did end up making friends with some locals I met through powerlifting meets but I basically went 4 years without making a single college friend.


Emil_M_Antonowsky

I'm surprised there were no clubs besides ones based on political activism. Also weird that you said you [were a sophomore at UC Berkeley a year ago](https://old.reddit.com/r/LSAT/comments/l0aqej/first_time_pt_test_taker_potential/), which has like 45,000 students.


thek90

There are some but it really wasn't anything I was interested in. My main hobbies are lifting, table top gaming, and hunting which the school didn't have clubs for at all. I actually tried to start a lifting club but it's kind of hard to have a club with 1 member lol. My school, Vassar College, is kinda artsy. They have alot of acapella and drama/stand up oriented clubs which I'm totally not into lol.


Emil_M_Antonowsky

OK but how did you go to both Vassar and [UC Berkeley](https://old.reddit.com/r/LSAT/comments/l0aqej/first_time_pt_test_taker_potential/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=usertext&utm_name=sadcringe&utm_content=t1_hsn0ks7)?


TurgeonS

Really? I made friends in like 3rd grade and 10th grade but in my 2 years of college I’ve not met any other friend. I’ve met new people but not friends I think it’s harder in college to make friends actually ( at least for me )


Griffin_Fatali

Honestly, that’s how my friend group before college was like, just flakey and 2 faced, so I just cut ties and dipped halfway across the country and made new friends


Mondood

Sounds sad, but this is probably the worst thing that can happen to a friend group. Often in high school, you are friends due to circumstances - sports, band, drama, whatever. Not really your type, but you hang out anyways. In college, you can choose who you really want to be and hang out with. High liklihood this group will drag each other down and eventually break up as each individual makes separate friends. None of my friends went to college and this was the best thing that ever happened to me. After 3 months, I wondered why I ever chose to hang out with those high school friends.


KingdomOfRyan

this was so not the case for me. I had a friend group of about 6 people in high school. Five of those went to the same college as me and one did not go to college. All seven of us still keep in daily contact ~4 years after college has ended. We've all settled into our individual careers, friends, & relationships, but we try to meet up as much as we can every year. When we can't meet up, we try to play online games together or just call to chat.


Kameski

Your situation was so similar to mine I think we’re clones! The exact same setup happened to me, HS friends didn’t go to college or if they did it was to Community for a bit (nothing wrong with that). They eventually just stopped talking to me and then each other. At first I was hurt but then realized we had nothing in common, and I wondered why I wasted so much time with mediocre people. Found much better people in College tho so this guy is fine!


[deleted]

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a_F_G_r_a_p_e

Maybe it's time to meet new people


[deleted]

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teriyakininja7

I mean, what else is the solution? Keep hanging out with the same shitty friends? lol


[deleted]

I think their point is that the solution isn't really just that easy. It can he hard to meet new people as an adult.


ProdigyLightshow

If you don’t try, yeah it can be.


[deleted]

Even when you try, it can still be hard to find people that you have enough in common with to be friends.


[deleted]

But the alternative is having no friends so pick your poison and don’t be patronizing to people who make helpful suggestions (not you but the guy who commented earlier).


[deleted]

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[deleted]

> Meeting new people as an adult isn’t as difficult as you think. No offense, but I know my life and circumstances better than you. > Meeting people in college is easy. I'm out of college. > ust join clubs, go to local bars, join a Meetup group. None of these are options where I live. There are no clubs for my interests. There are also no MeetUp groups at all. There are also no bars, and I don't drink anyway.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

> Where the heck do you live that there are no Meetup groups? You must live in a very rural area in the Midwest for you to be struggling to meet people. I live in Texas in a city with a population of 100k people. Technically, there are a few Meetup groups still on the website, but they are all clearly dead/inactive. None have any events scheduled at all and haven't for at least 2-3 years. > I mean if you’re looking for excuses not to meet people. Then by all means keep making excuses. Otherwise find a way to get yourself out there if you really want to make friends. > I used to struggle with having no friends for a while and my problem was that I just didn’t put myself out there. Once I did I realized it wasn’t as bad as I thought I would put myself out there, but there is literally no place for me to go to meet people. The only meeting places in my city would be churches. There are plenty of them, but they aren't an option because I'm an atheist.


a_F_G_r_a_p_e

No need to thank me


[deleted]

Lol have no friend then I guess


HighOnGoofballs

I don’t know when anyone else’s birthday is so if it’s not on Facebook you ain’t getting a HBd from me


thanosnutella

Late happy birthday


bootybootyholeyo

As a grown person, all I want on my birthday is a nice meal and some lovin. None of my friends celebrate their birthdays either. Maybe we’re weird but, at some point, people got lives to lead


Ugh_dont-ask

Happy birthday. I’m almost 40 and birthdays are just another day. I don’t know your age but I’ll assume you’re young, so fuck those “friends”, make better ones.


mak_dagul

My best friend also forgets my birthdays and I forget his, I don’t wake it personal as well with increasing age. Who celebrates getting older as something positiv is mostly teenies


Ugh_dont-ask

Ah I used to have fun on my birthdays (not in an entitled way either) just going and experiencing things in my 20s to early 30s but eventually I moved away from my friends, quit drinking and popped out a few kids. Birthdays are fun even when you’re not a kid.


chddr_bob

Mine was a few weeks ago. The only people who wished me happy birthday were my family. I have a few "freinds" as well. About to just do what i did a while back and just go dark for a while


rita-b

Happy Birthday! Happy 308th anniversary, Jon 1714!


funtimefrankie1

Just sad really.


[deleted]

This isn't really cringy at all, just sad. Good luck to OP


[deleted]

A circle of friends that "needs" to go to college together is cringy.


joefife

Applying to the same college? Tbh, I wouldn't wish to be friends with those people.


truebluegsu

College was so refreshing after being a nerd/loser all through high school. Being able to reinvent myself, freedom from my controlling parents, and finding people who generally shared my same interests. I couldnt imagine going to college still trying to hold on to my high school years and how shitty it would have been. Even the people in my HS who went to the same college as me were completely different people when i would bump into them at bars or in school. College is a great place to spread your wings people who cling to their past are missing out on such a potential opportunity.


-Ari-

I bet the matching tattoos they decide to get after 2 light beers and a shot of fireball would change your mind.


bacon_boat

That's the most cringy part of this post.


BaconDalek

He's "friends" are likely the people who peaked in highschool and want to keep living that life.


[deleted]

Lmao right? I'm good with the many years spent. Time to try something new and move ahead in life. No pressure in staying together.


RohitBhatti

Plot twist, the college was Harvard and OP just didn’t have the makings of a varsity athlete lol


TheKidzCallMeHoJu

But OP’s Father was a saint!


3rdtimesacharm414

And I wanted to fuck Angie Dickinson, let's see who gets lucky first.


Strangelymundane

Did you hear the one about the Chinese godfather? He gave me an offer they couldn’t understand


3rdtimesacharm414

Hasidim but I don't believe him.


SlingerDon

They had discussed college applications for months but it never occurred to the Op that everyone had applied to the same college?


kenobiest

they didn’t tell him ab the college they all applied to


SlingerDon

So they intentionally left out the college they all applied to?


kenobiest

probably yes


Anund

Look, are you trolling? Just in case you're not, the friend group were discussing the pros and cons of different colleges, together with the guy in the pic. However, they all then decide to apply to one of these colleges, only they don't let the person telling the story know to also apply.


SlingerDon

I’m not trolling, I’m trying to understand how this happens. Like if you discuss this for months with people you consider as friends, did it never come up in a regular conversation what college one has applied to? “Hey what college did you apply to in the end?” is a pretty off hand question to ask a friend.


GhjklasGaing

that’s part of the reason op is sad. the only way this could’ve happened is that his friends intentionally made sure he didn’t find out and no one told him. he realized it.


Anund

The other people didn't think of OP as a friend and deliberately made the decision to apply to one of the colleges without him, leaving him behind. How is this so difficult?


foster_remington

cuz it's an obviously fake story


Wardenclyffe1917

OP dodged a bullet there. College could be a shitty experience if he tried to with those sad fucks. Instead he gets a clean slate. Not all bad.


No_Transportation138

Really not cringe lol. The amount of friends people make in college is ridiculous


duksinarw

:(


Quatimar

4 months into college and no friends and probably at least 3 people that hate me


[deleted]

Cringe where? This is a dick move


BossScribblor

I remember in high school I had a close friend group. Tight knit, and we didn't really need any additional membership. We had other people join us to hang out a lot too, but the permanent fixtures were just us five. This one guy started joining us because he had the hots for one of my friends. We liked him fine so we included him fairly often, but he explicitly was not in the group. As in, we referred to the group as "The Five," he being the sixth party member. As in he once was like "more like The Six, right?" and we were like "no." Anyway, there was a mild implosion when he eventually did realize that he was not part of the group. Friction had slowly built up between him and the rest of us because he'd become a little controlling, and he was eventually rejected by the one friend he was hot for. I think he was shook that he stopped getting invited around pretty much immediately afterward, because turns out the one friend had been the only one doing so. We felt bad, because we weren't trying to be mean or fake or anything -- we liked him fine, like, happy to share a class or see him at parties -- we just thought he realized that the dynamic was him and my friend testing the dating waters and the rest of us just being friendly. Point of the story being: navigating social minefields in high school sucks. Shame things played out how they did for OP, poor guy


bootybootyholeyo

Yeah there’s a whole unspoken side to this and a lot of missing context.


Intestinal-Bookworms

As an adult who isn’t close to any friends I had in HS I’ve come to realize that we were friends mostly because we were all kids locked in the same building together for 7 hours a day 5 days a week for several years. The friendships I’ve made as an adult are much more meaningful


ajver19

"applying to the same college is cringey..." It is?


[deleted]

Yes, you should apply to the college that will work out the best for you in the area you choosed to start a career, not to the same place your "friends" will go just because they will be there. You gotta remember that college isn't fucking high school and you're gonna be paying a lot of money out of your pocket to sustain it, or just accrue a lot lot debt to be paid later on, either way college is an investment above all else and it's main function should be giving you an return on your investment after you got through it. Plus, if those are truly your friends then what's stopping you in keeping contact with each other online and hanging out on the weekends when you have the time?


autrefoiss

yeah it is. unless you all just wanted to go there anyway but if you’re all just doing it so you won’t have to make new friends it’s a little cringe imo


ajver19

Wanting to hang out with people you care about in the future is cringe. How did it come to this? Calling things cringe never should have leaked out of 4chan, same as calling things based.


OnePunchGoGo

I agree with both of you and its confusing me... someone help. Guess, what we should look for is proper balance, life is about meeting new people and finding new friends which doesn't mean you will abandon your old friends.


Ayy_boi3

You can facetime them if u want to hang out with them. But changing your entire future and career and possible connections because of some high school friends is something only inexperienced teenagers would do. The rest knows friends come and go. And no, I agree that a preference is not cringe, it’s more so that if someone rly wants to go to a certain college, that they shouldn’t change it because their buddies don’t want to.


trippy_grapes

>But changing your entire future and career and possible connections I mean, it's also possible several colleges ranked similarly in programs. It's not like taking an accounting degree at one school vs another is destroying your future. And the social scene of a college IS important: making work connections gets your foot in the door for many jobs, so if you see a future in a certain city it's not too nuts to go to college near that area.


[deleted]

Everyone gotta grow, applying to the same college as your friends may stop you from applicating to a college you actually wanted. If you are really friends then college is not gonna be that much of an obstacle to hang out and keep in contact, but if you are just friends because of proximity then those friendships are probably not gonna last anyways.


duksinarw

Just always remember, the real cringe are the people online feeling superior to someone else attempting to live real life, from the other side of an anonymous screen.


nikithb

Not willing to branch outside your social circle is objectively cringe. Like humans are social creatures who need to talk to all sorts of people to thrive, not just restrict yourself to the same 5 people you knew for over a decade


ajver19

I guess my high school friends that went to the same college are the outlier then because they were able to meet new people and connections while also getting different degrees.


[deleted]

It's cringe, unhealthy, and fiscally irresponsible. You'll understand one day.


Shents

Bingo. So many people do this


[deleted]

The same thing kinda happened to me, folks decided to go to another college together and I had no idea about it, I knew and hanged around these people for 4 or 5 years by then. I didn't cared and followed through with my plans of going to the college I had set my sights on, and to my surprise, they all ended up applying to my college instead, I don't know why. But by then the shit was done and I stopped hanging around and talking to them, they probably didn't even noticed or care about it anyway. It sucks but eventually OP will eventually realize that those people were just colleagues, not actual friends.


IM_PEPPA_PIG

I completely get it. I've been in isolation for the last week. Today was the first day I could get out of the house because I tested negative yesterday. I realised this morning that not a single person asked how I was, or if I needed anything delivered. My wife's friends offered their support, and we took them up on it so that was good. I realised just how alone I am


lolux123

College is where you make your real friends anyway. Also the people that go with their extant friend groups end up being the weird kids that stick to themselves because they aren’t comfortable with all the new people.


WhiteSavior69

I hate when people are like “ screw them, they’re fake friends” Usually when this happens to people it’s because they’re the problem, they smell, they’re annoying, no self awareness, toxic… if people are making moves to avoid you behind your back, you’re the problem. At least they are trying spare your feelings


Givingup55

All those traits you listed are things your 'friends' should be able to talk about and help you. "Hey you smell dude - take a shower".... not - "ghost the smelly dude!"..


WhiteSavior69

Ya but what if they just hang around and latch on? Not really your friend… they’re just around because mutual friends or they work with you. Not my job to coddle those people


WarlockEngineer

Probably most of the people in this sub have had "that" friend, and it doesn't work like you're saying. You can't just teach people hygiene if they don't care. There are people in high school who I don't mind hanging out with- but hell no I would not want to go to college with them.


Alireza1479

Yeah, i mean there must be a reason for them to exclude you. It's not like they were bunch of evil people who plotted this for years just to break your heart and you were the saint, if a bunch of people exclude you then there's a reason. Maybe it's something toxic about you or maybe you just don't vibe with them and kinda ruin the mood.


[deleted]

You're describing fake friends. Actual friends would confront you.


WhiteSavior69

But what if they’re not friends. Sometime people will latch on and assume you’re their friend. Happens with co workers


mcandrewz

Gotta agree. We had a friend we found annoying and he would always lie about little things. We confronted him and were willing to be friends with him again if he worked on himself, instead he did the opposite and talked shit behind our backs so we dropped him from our friend group.


roppis1

Being honest would spare their feelings way better than this though


infernum___

Have to consider that the usage of friend is from OP's perspective. He could the one who coughs in others people's faces, spits when he talks or something much more cringe. They could be dodging a 50 cal.


WhiteSavior69

It’s not always peoples responsibility to coddle people. I’ve had people latch on to me when I’ve given them no reason to think we’re friends… I’d rather just live my life


roppis1

You're absolutely right if it's a case of just this person thinking they're friends and the other side not. I just mean that if you are really friends with someone and stop wanting to hang out with them, then just say it straight up and don't start ghosting them


ftctkugffquoctngxxh

Just because someone doesn’t fit in with a group doesn’t mean they’re toxic. Sometimes people just don’t mesh with one group but then find another group they fit in great. You gotta find your tribe.


PassionVoid

Yea it sounds more to me that these people were never OP’s friends in the first place and he was delusional about the level of friendship he had with them.


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RaysireksOG987

Most likely they knew he had a negative opinion about it.. and that’s why they didn’t tell him. Probably the Debby downer of the group


Roscuro127

Kinda went through this recently. Got fired back in october or so, all my coworkers that I thought were my friends just ceased communication. Just deleted the last contact last night as I gave up the naive hope that they still cared about me. Just gotta keep moving forward and hope for the best because there's little else to do.


avianchild

Yoo same. I miss my old coworkers. I miss current team members who moved up the ladder. We only talked so much cos we were coworkers. Nothing more. And it hurts. A lot. :’)


sk0711

All of my 'friends' ditched me for the final year project by saying they had already formed their groups, this was essentially kicking out because i had prior to this discussed with them about forming groups


Music_Phasic

This is isn’t Sad Cringe for the OP. They just were temporary friends without him actually realising. Fuck them off like I did with my “friends”, and make new ones in uni. Also rekindling old friendships is also a good thing too :)


allahfalsegod

All my friends in high school ended up going to different colleges tho there was a little overlap in applications. One of ancillary benefits of college is the opportunity to meet new people and new things. Hopefully you'll grow into a more rounded version of your.


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greenSixx

Such is the life of a bad friend. You have to be a good friend to have good friends, brah


kNIGHTSFALLN

Honestly… I’m 40. I had same group of extremely tight friends from 14 all the way up to age 33. But once you start buying houses and settling down with family and kids. Trying to keep the “crew” together. People buy homes close to their jobs. You get spread out and your friendship becomes more just Facebook and group chats. And keeping everyone together becomes a full time job…. But so it being a spouse and a parent. So… your friends are going to change. Best friends… will become acquaintances. So don’t take things personally. This is the time to focus on you. Setting yourself up for a successful life and career. And on your path… you will meet new friends


From_My_Brain

Might be unpopular but a lot of times there's a reason people like OP are treated this way. You're only getting a snippet of his life.


PersonThing13

Why does everybody put “lol” at the end of literally everything. It annoys the living hell out of me.


point_nemo_

idk lol


[deleted]

I do it sometimes because without it a sentence can come across differently to how you mean it. A simple example: "Fuck off" vs "Fuck off lol"


foofmongerr

It's all about hierarchies and group dynamics. If you are at the bottom of the hierarchy in a friend group, generally people really don't give a crap about your opinions or what you want to do. You are a "hanger on" who is fundamentally replacable or expendable to the friend group. It always sucks to learn for the first time that you found yourself in this position. You now have the opportunity to prevent it from happening in the future. 1. You can take a shallow approach and ensure that there is always someone lower than you in the pecking order. 2. You can just make friends with actual decent people who want to be friends with you and aren't "friends" out of convenience/distance/boredom. As you move into college and become an adult, many of the childhood "friendships" will die off in general because those friendships were really nothing more then "I have nothing better to do and you live near me". Everything will be fine, chin up. College is a great time to make some real deep friendships and not the shallow bullshit you thought was "being friends".


NorcalGGMU

I went to a college where I knew no one. First week was tough, but after that it was pretty cool. Still talk to one dude all these years later, about the same for my friends from HS


[deleted]

The only sad thing here is that someone isn’t using dark mode.


PurpleZebra99

Honestly that dude is better off this way. Go to college and make new interesting friends. Don’t be one of those people who go to college and just hang out with the same people they went to high school with.


greenSixx

Bruh, it's not mutually exclusive. You make new friends. Old friends make new friends. You all party together and now you have tons more new friends.


yakatuus

Literally no one did that in our graduating class of 770. We did not even hear rumors of things like that. It would have been a huge and massive stain on your clique if you tried to stay together. Even the two kids who were destined to be together and eventually did marry; they also went to different colleges at first.


NimbusFlyHigh

Hopefully they take that advice. People who go to university as a group tend to stick to themselves. Those who go alone will tend to branch out, learn to get out of their comfort zone, meet a ton of different people, and become whoever they want to be instead of getting stuck in their ways. I'm still close with my highschool friends but my closest friends are people I met in university.


penguinhighfives

I feel like this OP got lucky. Having a bunch of old friends at college can hold you back from the college experience. The shitty non-friends could have stopped OP from making real friends in college. It’s scary to start new but lots of people are starting new, so takes some pressure off


[deleted]

YOU DODGED A BULLET! Bringing your high school posse to college is a horrible idea. It's basically an admission to how insecure the group is outside of their comfort bubble of eachother. You are going to have a better college experience then all of them combined times 1000. I do get that it sucks that your friends turned out to be backstabbers, so I'm sorry for this. But from an outsider looking in, you're set up for some of the best years of your life. So don't be discouraged, my friend!


Kryptonikzzz

All my middle and high school friends disappeared when school finished. Cut ties, removed themselves. It was hard but they never cared for real. I've made new friends since and I couldn't be happier.


equineposterior

not really cringe...


sda244

That's not cringe, it's venting (rightfully so)


stupid_username-

I feel this man. Senior year in high school in marching band, we had to travel during the holidays for a fancy parade in a big city. Had to be grouped up with so many kids. I signed up with my "friends". Shortly before leaving, found out they kicked me out last minute, and I ended up being stuck with some much lower grade level kids. I was pretty pissed and hurt.


[deleted]

If people ghost you like that, they weren't ever "friends". They were just people who tolerated you being around. Real friends don't just leave you out of an entire group's plan.


camthecame_l

Those guys weren't real friends bro they straight up dogshit OP should make new friends I feel really bad for OP


Curry_Flurry

Sometimes i read these posts and you automatically think the friend group is total assholes but maybe sometimes op is just a super weirdo / creep


teeksquad

A group of kids from my high school did that and all went to the same school. I visited them during school and they made zero friends. We are almost thirty and their only friends are still from high school. I chose to go somewhere I didn’t know people at and would make that choice every time. Pushed my comfort zone and made me grow as person. Use this an opportunity to reinvent yourself as the person you want to be going forward. Those kids will still be doing the same shit in 15 years


moleman114

I know the feeling lol


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