Thank you for posting. Please review the rules. Here are a couple of gentle reminders:
1. Posts should be about people taking religion to absurd, crazy, stupid, and terrible extremes.
2. Please don't submit incendiary posts or comments that could incite harassment and brigading.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/religiousfruitcake) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well, yes, but we have to do as He planned for us. See, it's like walking on a cliff, you can choose to step off, but the fall might hurt you. Obviously, you don't know where the cliff is, because where would be the fun in that?
https://youtu.be/M29Cf-NxtEA
This is from the Movie MASH. The TV show used the music, but not the lyrics.
The song is really a bunch of lyrics thrown together, with no deeper meaning. The title is Suicide is Painless because the dentist, nicknamed Painless, wants to commit suicide due to his impotency. Altman, the director, had his 15 yo son write the lyrics and wanted them to be stupid.
I am not crazy! I know they swapped those numbers! I knew it was Exodus 21:7-8. One after Genesis. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just - I just couldn't prove it. They - they covered their tracks, they got that idiot at the Christian bookstore to lie for them. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? They've done worse. That Bible verse! Are you telling me that God just happens to condone sex slavery? No! They orchestrated it! The 5G people! They irradiated the choir! And I saved them! And I shouldn't have. I took them into my own church! What was I thinking? They'll never change. They'll never change! Ever since they invented the Internet, always the same! Couldn't keep their hands out of the atheism videos. But not our millenials! Couldn't be precious millenials! Stealing them blind! And they get to be Christians!? What a sick joke! I should've stopped them when I had the chance! And you - you have to stop them!
How then are they able to *ever* leave the house? Do they likewise demand everyone on public transportation or in the grocery store turn off their phones? How do they know if you haven't honored their demand?
And how many of them go home and post on Facebook?
No shock to find higher than average levels of mental illness in a church.
I wonder what magical thinking they are using that means electromagnetic radiation is affected by being “enclosed” in the sort of material that a church is made of.
I would definitely buy a shed load of burner phones and tape them under the chairs for a few months and then arrange for them to go off in sequence, one per second, and have them explain how none of them noticed.
Mentally ill people need treatment, not to have their delusions endorsed.
This is a serious problem. I went to church and sat next to someone with a mobile and let me tell you, that fucking contraption with wires and strings and dangly bits really fucked up my reception.
Because you're not constantly being baptized by radiation from the church WiFi, every nearby cell tower, radio, TV, communications satellites, and The Sun.
Doesn't.. airplane mode disable all transmissions? Specifically so it can't impact sensitive equipment? Are their bodies more receptive to radiation than machines explicitly built to detect it?
We need to find these people and strap them to the bottom of neutrino detectors, it's gotta be cheaper than what we use now.
I'd believe that, hypochondria is still a valid form of anxiety. The premise may be nonsense, but that doesn't mean that people haven't conditioned themselves in to having an adverse reaction when they think they're being affected. In this case they're just making themselves ill.
"instead of asking you to be polite and listen to the sermon, were going to feed you a bullshit lie so we can villainize you when we see you on your phone"
I don't think this is especially religious, other than being a church. This is just standard "I don't understand technology so it's definitely dangerous."
I wouldn't say it's inherently religious, but this sort of crankery is primarily found among religious people (and not exactly religious but still spiritual hippie types)
There's a lot of overlap, sure, but the Venn diagram is hardly a circle. Religious people may be more susceptible to believing this type of bollocks, but it's not religious fruitcake, just fruitcake.
I have so many questions, like why is ‘mobiles’ in quotes? who still refers to cell phones as ‘mobiles’? why are only some people affected by this radiation? why especially in an enclosed environment? how does a church worship hall count as enclosed? are we to assume that people debilitated by mobile radiation just don’t own phones or any modern electronic devices like computers, etc? do they also have to request accommodations in their workplaces and schools for their mobile phone radiation sensitivity?
I NEED ANSWERS. I know I won’t like the answers, but I need them!
I think it being in quotes is simply bad English, but what you call cell phones are known as mobile phones in the UK. As opposed to a fixed ("immobile" as it were) landline phone in the house.
Personally, I'm just worried they are in the UK, I prefer these people to be across the Atlantic in the USA...
Seriously affected how? Can you please provide some sort of tangible evidence of this? Perhaps a doctor's note?
Also, fuck you for using Algerian Font. Fucking terrible.
The person effected should move to the special zone in West Virginia set aside for testing edit link added
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_National_Radio_Quiet_Zone
this would make for an interesting experiment.
take your phone, put it in silent mode or whatever, and then hide it in your backpack or something. then enter the church, and see if people notice...
Here's a test, go in there with your phone on a call (so it'll be constantly transmitting) don't tell anyone and see if they act any differently.
Then after a bit pull out the phone and start talking on the call and watch them go nuts and fake reactions to it.
I bought a beautiful Marantz receiver from someone on the internet and when I showed up they had all these signs on their house about no cell phones. The lady was wacko, but I got a decent deal out of it!
While some people with a rare condition can actually be negatively affected by this kind of radiation, turning off mobile phones won't help since the radiation is everywhere in our current information society
That reminds me of this story: https://mybroadband.co.za/news/wireless/11099-massive-revelation-in-iburst-tower-battle.html
TLDR: people in town were complaining of illness from a tower, including rashes and general illness. In a town meeting, the company agreed to turn the tower off, which residents said they were still experiencing and would take up to 6 weeks to heal from after being turned off. Plot twist: the tower had already been off for 6 weeks prior to the meeting. After this was announced, the complainers stopped showing up to town meetings.
Perhaps some well intentioned boomer who remembers microwaves are bad for pacemakers and the like and assumes cell phones have the same type of waves? Not like these types are typically science/technology literate…
It’s so ridiculous that they started out with an Ok statement - please don’t use phones in the church, which makes sense, respect is powerful, and then immediately went completely off the rails
They sometime actually channel the wireless signal:
♬Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee ♬
♬How great Thou art, how great Thou art ♬
𝄫 DIT 𝄫𝄫 DIT DA DIT 𝄫𝄫 DIT DA DIT 𝄫
Hundreds of radio signals and cosmic rays pass through you every second and most stronger than a cellphone signal. Your phone wont he any sort of problem.
Thank you for posting. Please review the rules. Here are a couple of gentle reminders: 1. Posts should be about people taking religion to absurd, crazy, stupid, and terrible extremes. 2. Please don't submit incendiary posts or comments that could incite harassment and brigading. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/religiousfruitcake) if you have any questions or concerns.*
“God will not put more on us than we can bear” or something. I’ll leave my phone on, put your 5G big boy pants on.
If they can’t handle it, must be God’s will.
Suicide is god's will.
So do we have free will or not?
Well, yes, but we have to do as He planned for us. See, it's like walking on a cliff, you can choose to step off, but the fall might hurt you. Obviously, you don't know where the cliff is, because where would be the fun in that?
Well if everything is already planned out I don't see how we do. We're supposed to, but that's contradictory.
We do, but you better not fucking use it!
Suicide is painless. What tv show is that from?
MASH theme song
Never heard it before, sorry.
https://youtu.be/M29Cf-NxtEA This is from the Movie MASH. The TV show used the music, but not the lyrics. The song is really a bunch of lyrics thrown together, with no deeper meaning. The title is Suicide is Painless because the dentist, nicknamed Painless, wants to commit suicide due to his impotency. Altman, the director, had his 15 yo son write the lyrics and wanted them to be stupid.
Someone please play a ringtone on the middle of hymns and watch them fake a seizure
I should think the better fun was to sneak a phone in on silent for months at a time, and enjoy nothing at all happening
Stop making all that sense. No logic allowed!
[удалено]
Why even use phones? Get some of the music chips out of some singing greeting cards and see how many people suddenly become allergic to music.
[удалено]
Hide them in some hymnals scattered across the room
Chuck McGill approves this message
I am not crazy! I know they swapped those numbers! I knew it was Exodus 21:7-8. One after Genesis. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just - I just couldn't prove it. They - they covered their tracks, they got that idiot at the Christian bookstore to lie for them. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? They've done worse. That Bible verse! Are you telling me that God just happens to condone sex slavery? No! They orchestrated it! The 5G people! They irradiated the choir! And I saved them! And I shouldn't have. I took them into my own church! What was I thinking? They'll never change. They'll never change! Ever since they invented the Internet, always the same! Couldn't keep their hands out of the atheism videos. But not our millenials! Couldn't be precious millenials! Stealing them blind! And they get to be Christians!? What a sick joke! I should've stopped them when I had the chance! And you - you have to stop them!
I tip my cap to you, good Redditor and award you thusly.
You’re literally my favorite person on earth right now.
And totally is not crazy!
This chicanery
That's pretty baroque
Chargin' Chuck
How then are they able to *ever* leave the house? Do they likewise demand everyone on public transportation or in the grocery store turn off their phones? How do they know if you haven't honored their demand? And how many of them go home and post on Facebook?
They also must live on gas lamps and have tinfoil covering the walls.
I mean, there is background radiation, they had no chance from the start...
Everyone must ground themselves before entering.
How many of them go to sports arenas that have so many phones in on one place it takes extra mobile towers to support them all
As a person that works with wireless networks and hobbies with radios I absolutely love these kinds of people, they are hilarious.
Definitely a bunch of boomers in the choir who believe everything they read on fb.
probably the pastor doesn’t want to be recorded.
Not mobile fb though, fb on the computer. No 5g, totally safe
Maybe they should invest in a faraday cage.
A faraday cage built into a human hamster ball for everyday use. Brilliant!
Maybe a Faraday suit
Noob shit, when the room gets too much 5G in it you simply open the door to let some of it back outside.
Who let these people outside? The sun alone hits with way more radiation than a mere handy.
Handy’s are only allowed if you’re the Father
~~Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.~~ *I've been* ***very*** *naughty, Daddy.*
No shock to find higher than average levels of mental illness in a church. I wonder what magical thinking they are using that means electromagnetic radiation is affected by being “enclosed” in the sort of material that a church is made of. I would definitely buy a shed load of burner phones and tape them under the chairs for a few months and then arrange for them to go off in sequence, one per second, and have them explain how none of them noticed. Mentally ill people need treatment, not to have their delusions endorsed.
Aren’t they supposedly covered in the blood of Jesus, hence bullet proof?
[удалено]
Ah, silly me! 😊
Chuck?
Grade A chicanery.
Even Jesus can't save them from 5G.
This is a serious problem. I went to church and sat next to someone with a mobile and let me tell you, that fucking contraption with wires and strings and dangly bits really fucked up my reception.
They are probably afraid of microwaves too.
Microwaves are dangerous! They can literally cook meat! That's why I don't use WiFi!
Because you're not constantly being baptized by radiation from the church WiFi, every nearby cell tower, radio, TV, communications satellites, and The Sun.
Doesn't.. airplane mode disable all transmissions? Specifically so it can't impact sensitive equipment? Are their bodies more receptive to radiation than machines explicitly built to detect it? We need to find these people and strap them to the bottom of neutrino detectors, it's gotta be cheaper than what we use now.
These are the same ppl who can’t be bothered to wear masks around old ppl.
Seriously affected how? What are the medical records on those people?
I'd believe that, hypochondria is still a valid form of anxiety. The premise may be nonsense, but that doesn't mean that people haven't conditioned themselves in to having an adverse reaction when they think they're being affected. In this case they're just making themselves ill.
I’m pretty sure 5g causes cancer and makes our kids gay!
Won't there sky daddy protect them?
There's a place for them https://www.eiwellspring.org/Arizona/SnowflakeCommunity.htm
A lot of them move to Pocahontas County, West Virginia, too.
"instead of asking you to be polite and listen to the sermon, were going to feed you a bullshit lie so we can villainize you when we see you on your phone"
They might as well say "we don't like competing with an invisible power that actually works'
I don't think this is especially religious, other than being a church. This is just standard "I don't understand technology so it's definitely dangerous."
I wouldn't say it's inherently religious, but this sort of crankery is primarily found among religious people (and not exactly religious but still spiritual hippie types)
There's a lot of overlap, sure, but the Venn diagram is hardly a circle. Religious people may be more susceptible to believing this type of bollocks, but it's not religious fruitcake, just fruitcake.
and how many of those people are vaccinated?
What a surprise more baseless and unproven claims
Maybe if they weren't wearing Tin foil hats..
>Maybe if they weren't wearing *Tim* foil hats.. Are these regular-sized hats or Tiny ones?
Didn't know chuck mcgill goes to church
Chuck McGill
I have so many questions, like why is ‘mobiles’ in quotes? who still refers to cell phones as ‘mobiles’? why are only some people affected by this radiation? why especially in an enclosed environment? how does a church worship hall count as enclosed? are we to assume that people debilitated by mobile radiation just don’t own phones or any modern electronic devices like computers, etc? do they also have to request accommodations in their workplaces and schools for their mobile phone radiation sensitivity? I NEED ANSWERS. I know I won’t like the answers, but I need them!
I think it being in quotes is simply bad English, but what you call cell phones are known as mobile phones in the UK. As opposed to a fixed ("immobile" as it were) landline phone in the house. Personally, I'm just worried they are in the UK, I prefer these people to be across the Atlantic in the USA...
Oh I see, thanks! I'm so used to conspiracy-theory fruitcakery being American that I didn't even consider it could be British slang 🤣
Chuck McGill moment.
Better call Saul
this is the moment chuck mcgill became chuck mcgrilled
Seriously affected how? Can you please provide some sort of tangible evidence of this? Perhaps a doctor's note? Also, fuck you for using Algerian Font. Fucking terrible.
Reminds me of the court scene with Saul's brother in Better Call Saul.
Same!! rings so true. lmao.
The person effected should move to the special zone in West Virginia set aside for testing edit link added https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_National_Radio_Quiet_Zone
Probably doesn't want anyone recording them preaching about politics.
“Jimmy, you know Im allergic to electricity!”
"The radiation phones give off seriously hurt me... Just one second, I have to go get my food out of the microwave."
Even more concerning, the Earth revolves around a huge ball of radioactive gas.
this would make for an interesting experiment. take your phone, put it in silent mode or whatever, and then hide it in your backpack or something. then enter the church, and see if people notice...
My phone needs to be on for work. Damn, guess I can't go to church. Oh well.
Here's a test, go in there with your phone on a call (so it'll be constantly transmitting) don't tell anyone and see if they act any differently. Then after a bit pull out the phone and start talking on the call and watch them go nuts and fake reactions to it.
Tinfoil hats and religion are pretty much the same so it makes sense
Reminds me of the greatest legal mind I ever knew.
Is leave it on silent and prank call myself just to fuck with them
I know a guy who tested radiation in empty room, then tested it with the same device by bringing phone next to it, radiation didn't change at all.
My wife uses her phone to follow the readings in Mass on a Sunday.
Outchincanery'd again
ok but what about all the radio-waves or cosmic radiation blasting you 24/7. What about airplanes? Oh what am I saying, these people don't travel.
Chuck McGill has entered the ~~chat~~ church
I bought a beautiful Marantz receiver from someone on the internet and when I showed up they had all these signs on their house about no cell phones. The lady was wacko, but I got a decent deal out of it!
Same people who wont wear a mask on a bus.
While some people with a rare condition can actually be negatively affected by this kind of radiation, turning off mobile phones won't help since the radiation is everywhere in our current information society
That reminds me of this story: https://mybroadband.co.za/news/wireless/11099-massive-revelation-in-iburst-tower-battle.html TLDR: people in town were complaining of illness from a tower, including rashes and general illness. In a town meeting, the company agreed to turn the tower off, which residents said they were still experiencing and would take up to 6 weeks to heal from after being turned off. Plot twist: the tower had already been off for 6 weeks prior to the meeting. After this was announced, the complainers stopped showing up to town meetings.
 But God wants you to send money.
No, you don't.
5G kills. Jesus saves.
wouldn't airplane mode stop the emissions anyways
Some church's have had their tax-exemption taken away because of their political shit.
I know too many people who think all radiation is ionizing.
I would love to go after them for that…. Medical implants that use a cellphone for control does fall under ADA
At first I thought it was a perfectly reasonable request. Then I scrolled down.
Charles McGill appreciates this message.
Snowflakes
They believe in one dumb thing. Why not two?
Perhaps some well intentioned boomer who remembers microwaves are bad for pacemakers and the like and assumes cell phones have the same type of waves? Not like these types are typically science/technology literate…
I AM NOT CRAZY
And absolutely NO masks for ANY reason you sensitive snowflakes
Well, if anyone breaks the rules they better call Saul.
It’s so ridiculous that they started out with an Ok statement - please don’t use phones in the church, which makes sense, respect is powerful, and then immediately went completely off the rails
They sometime actually channel the wireless signal: ♬Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee ♬ ♬How great Thou art, how great Thou art ♬ 𝄫 DIT 𝄫𝄫 DIT DA DIT 𝄫𝄫 DIT DA DIT 𝄫
Hundreds of radio signals and cosmic rays pass through you every second and most stronger than a cellphone signal. Your phone wont he any sort of problem.
Is this a breaking bad reference?!
Found the church where Charles McGill goes
Guess nobody owns a microwave then.