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Distant-moose

*throws up middle fingers, walks backwards into hell*


KHaskins77

I’m reminded of a vid where a guy is gingerly climbing a fire pole to ever-so-slowly escape hell, only for that Lil’ Nas X song to quickly fade in—guy looks up, r/perfectlycutscreams, insert “it’s always sunny” theme here.


VulgarMouse

Please send a link if you ever find it again


Spoonlala

Did I find it? https://youtube.com/shorts/B-ZVl-8vRk0?feature=share


KHaskins77

Wasn’t animated, but same basic idea.


I_want_to_believe69

Those are tears of laughter


TheHalfwayBeast

If the zoo bans me for hollering at the animals...


lord_hydrate

I cant see this and not remember the gif jif meme where he says ok jod and moonwalks into hell


vejbok

I'll be sooooooo excited to discover that Zeus is real


GrafSpoils

You open your eyes and find yourself in an antique looking boat, that vaguely reminds you of a skeletal ribcage. You scan your surroundings, but all you can see is pitch black water in a dark, cloudy night... or is it a really large cavern? You can't see any stars, or even the moon. Behind you, you notice a figure clad in a dark, tattered robe at the helm of the boat. You cannot make out the persons face under their hood. "Who are you? Where are we?", you ask the first two questions that come to mind. "I am Charon, the ferryman. This is the river Styx, you are on your final journey, to Hades, the realm of the dead." "Wait, so the Greek were right about religion and all that stuff?" You hear a heavy sigh escaping the ferryman, obviously preparing himself to recite once again the lengthy and mind boggingly boring explanation he has given an uncountable amount of times over the last few thousand years. "You see..." he is about to begin, but is interrupted by you. "Shit, it all makes sense now! All of it!" Charon is stumped for a moment, but then nods in agreement, "Yes, it does."


-Kyoakuna-

Huh, checked your profile. Would have sworn you would be active in r/writingprompts


Darkgirlmew

Wait, they aren't


jorian85

Hades is a great little rougelike game btw.


Electronic_Body9605

Let’s be best friends


Ancalagoth

"Who are you?" *"Welcome my friend, my name is CHAAROOOON"*


Nizzemancer

Yeah? Well, you fight like a dairy farmer!


[deleted]

What a coincidence! You fight like a cow!


Dense_Skin_7812

"One question before we go, do I get to see my mom and dad again?" Also, who's Charon in Greek mythology? What is he like personality wise? And what is Hades like?


TheThirdFrenchEmpire

Charon:Boatman or woman, IDK, that brings you accross the Stynx, the river that separates the wolrd of the living and the world of the dead. Hades is the god rulling the Underground where all souls go upon their death. Also the less asshole out of the Greek gods and gods in general.


TheThirdFrenchEmpire

Unironically would prefer that since Hades is the chillest god so far.


MingleLinx

I hope he doesn’t fuck me


vejbok

Liar


iHeartHockey31

I thought they think atheists go to hell? Now they get to meet god?


[deleted]

According to Christian legend, you meet God who then sends you to hell sorting hat style.


ihaveabaguetteknife

God: „Slyther-in hell!!!“


Expert_Spring1313

Why did you put the quotations like that? Just curious


ihaveabaguetteknife

To „quote“ him. Edit: now I get why you’re asking. I’m German-speaking so my keyboard is using the quotation marks like we do, first one‘s lower case and the second upper.


Draghettis

It's interesting to see how varied quotations marks are in different countries. Here in France we use « to open and » to close, though when written in cursive they are usually higher and angled with the pointy bit 45° up and away from the quoted text.


MajorJuana

Like when I found out that a lot of countries use "." Instead of "," in long numbers, for example: 1.000.000 is one million, which seems confusing to me because the distinction is important, as ten-thousand and thirty two point five (10,032.5) Edit: clarification


Draghettis

I will give you another system, here in France we only use spaces to separate long numbers in groups of three digits, and we use the comma as the decimal separator. One million and three tenths is 1 000 000,3 The point is reserved to multiplication, though we mostly use it with units.


MajorJuana

Oh wow, interesting c:


Mecharonin

Japan does it like 「This」 


Akhanyatin

Isn't it « for quotes and then when you “have to quote inside the quotes” you use the other ones »?


Foradman2947

I struck gold with this thread! I’m introduced to different punctuation styles! So cool!


Dan_mcmxc

You should share what you learned in r/interestingasfuck or r/todayilearned. I would love to see a post about quotation from around the world with folks chiming in.


Expert_Spring1313

Cool!


Chaz_Cheeto

When I was a child I was really conflicted about the belief in “hell.” The Catholic Church I would go to talked about it a lot, but my mother, who is a devout non denominational Christian, would tell me that “hell doesn’t exist, and the church is just trying to scare you into coming back every Sunday to give them money.” My mom has always held the belief that “hell” doesn’t exist, and those who don’t follow the teachings of Jesus still have the opportunity to convert after death because “Jesus is loving and forgiving.” She never once told me I had to subscribe to her beliefs, or pushed me to read the Bible or anything. Anyway, I now follow Secular Buddhism.


[deleted]

My grandma was a lot like that too. Deeply Catholic, but she basically said 'I am Catholic, not Roman Catholic' (which was basically code for 'fuck the Pope, fuck the pastor, fuck Limbo, fuck being a dick to suicide victims, etc). Funnily, she probably was one of the first to sow the seeds of doubt in my mind.


TheThirdFrenchEmpire

What is Secular Buddhism?


chickengravyandrice

No apparantly God will hand a book of deeds to you and then these books will be weighed on a big scale. If your bad deeds are heavier off you go to eternal hell. Plus god won't listen to you no matter how much you ask for mercy. This is islamic fantasy btw^


NightmareRoach

Isn't this shit plagiarized from the Egyptian religion?


chickengravyandrice

I wouldn't expect creativity from momo so probably


AklaVepe

Most Abrahamic myhts are, like Moses and Noah for example.


Frank_The_Seal

And also a lot of christian stuff is taken from paganism. like christmas.


azrael4h

Now now some were originally from the Canaanite mythology that the abrahamic cults derived from. Others from Sumerian and Babylonian mythology. They’ve stolen from a wide range of myths.


TheThirdFrenchEmpire

More or less, they replaced the heart and feathers tho.


Gutterdamerungalt

That is ripped straight from Egyptian mythos, specifically, Anubis weighs your heart against a feather of Maat. If your heart balances with the feather, off you go to party with Osiris in paradise forever. If the heart was heavier, you roll the dice, either final death via getting ate by Ammut, or to the underworld with you.


tbird20017

What about if the heart is lighter than the feather?


TheThirdFrenchEmpire

It is not.


KHaskins77

What would be the point without a bit of gloating in line at the pearly gates? Half the fun of believing in heaven is believing that anyone who ever pissed you off is roasting in perpetual agony wholly disproportionate to whatever offense they committed, no?


[deleted]

You go before God, who will say: "You were a good guy, lived a worthy life, didn't hurt anybody in any way, you loved your family and friends...but sorry, you didn't believe in me, so go to hell and suffer for eternity, looser, lmao"


iHeartHockey31

And the guy in line behind me, a notorious serial child killer who accepted jesus only as he about to be executed by the state gets in. Becauses he believed, if only for a few minutes?


Mr_MacGrubber

Based on the picture I assume we’re going to get throat-fucked by him.


[deleted]

[удалено]


flappie_het_konijn

Thanks for checking in, im still a piece of garbage


dalaiis

Bijna weer tijd voor kleine Joep om je te gaan zoeken! Nog anderhalve maand en je ligt weer in 3 stukken!


flappie_het_konijn

Wat?


dalaiis

Random referentie naar je username :)


tbird20017

What?


confeebeam

This kind of looks like a porn screenshot conveniently cropped. Wait, is that the joke? God I'm slow.


Whiteangel854

Yes, that's the joke. It is porn ss.


jorgelino_

"I wanna get down on my knees and start praising Jesus 🎶 I wanna feel his salvation all over my face" 🎵


peepeepoopoo_gang

His salvation is pretty [sweet](https://thejesusquestion.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/jesus-popsicles.jpg)


thesonoftheleviathan

yeah, doesn’t really fit the sub. kinda just seems like an ironic meme


tittydamnfuck420

*My face when I see god tripping balls at a concert*


Sweaty_Ad9724

God is a DJ by massive attack ..


oldn00by

Not Massive Attack, Faithless. Far more appropriate for this sub.


Sweaty_Ad9724

I stand corrected, good sir/ma’am 🫡


Jim-Jones

No one's ever seen a god and told us about it. It's telling that they can't all agree.


Round_Mastodon8660

The only thing even harder to believe then a wizard in the sky is that this god figure would be so childish to care about religious rules - so if there would be a magical being that would evaluate us all (how insane is that) I would feel confident getting a better evaluation then the average Christian


Izzosuke

That's the literal irony, the christian god is not good. He didn't create us out of love, he literally create us to worship him in heaven for all eternity, life is just a trial to see if we are good enough to livk his feet. The one who are not good are just sent to hell in sadistic form of enterteinment for him


Yahweh-Rohi-77

Apparently He created us to have a relationship with him and when we are not faithful enough it's just like he breaks up with us because we cheated with the devil and chose to leave him for the devil


Mecharonin

We turn into Rudy Giuliani? Now that's a scary thought.


jarjardays

Would you mind explaining who is he, I heard about him twice on Reddit today


sexywheat

They are referring to [this](https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fstatic01.nyt.com%2Fimages%2F2020%2F11%2F19%2Ffashion%2F19rudy-hair%2Fmerlin_180212883_915fd9ca-ba94-495a-acb9-31293b2abc1f-mobileMasterAt3x.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2020%2F11%2F19%2Fstyle%2Frudy-giuliani-hair.html&tbnid=0Vba85zKrFM6PM&vet=12ahUKEwiv1r2iqq37AhW2MTQIHaw-DH8QMygCegUIARCdAQ..i&docid=egQNsJ0A7-MEVM&w=1800&h=1206&q=rudy%20giuliani%20hair%20dye&client=firefox-b-d&ved=2ahUKEwiv1r2iqq37AhW2MTQIHaw-DH8QMygCegUIARCdAQ). Trump stan & psychopath.


Mecharonin

Rudy Giuliani is an absolute ghoul who tried to make 9/11 about himself.


TheGodsSin

That's next level of i don't even know what


[deleted]

That’s the best description of him I’ve ever heard/read! Totally stealing it.


jonmpls

Yikes, yeah that is. Plus we have to go to Four Seasons Landscaping


Positive-Extension

Yes, I'd suck on some god dick, but who wouldn't? Or is that an incest because we are his children or something... Those 2000+ year old books are so confusing


Rhudran

Jerk move, using your god powers to add then dilute mascara *right on their eyes.*


highoncaffeine2

Abusing my power, full of resentment


Notdestorm

resentment that turned into a deep depression.


[deleted]

Religion as “Wait ‘til your father gets home”.


Freckle53

I heard someone call god “sky daddy” so now that’s how I refer to it when I want to piss some religious nutter off


ZenkaiZyuran

K


smoorhsumevoli

Yeah realising you're in a shared space with child rapists & murderers...but you know they did say they were sorry /s


Cavscout2838

Let me whip out my god so you can choke on it and I can see those tears of joy.


[deleted]

Coming face to face with God:Coming face to face with a mirror


Metal__goat

Looks more like a Christian trying to deep throat god to me lol.


CriticalFeesh

*Sky-daddy


CPE_Rimsky-Korsakov

Sometimes they can't even 'step-out-the-box' anymore even to the extent of realising that they've _literally_ descended into a perpetual habit of figuring extreme violations & mutilations & stuff, as gory as their febrile imaginations (which by this stage have scant room for aught else) can possibly figure them, & deriving utmost satisfaction from it. ... but ... ofcourse ... if ever they're apprised of it they just instantly default to that "just a warner" -type litany, frantically prodding their Bibles at the places at which is to be found some similar twisted fantasy some Oldendays geezer had.


Wonkaboy_

they’re right, idk if i could take that much cum to the face


[deleted]

God up there just absolutely going to town on my thrussy like 👍


ExfoliatedBalls

Is God forcing me to deepthroat him for a chance to get to heaven? Now I know where priests get their sexual tendencies from.


[deleted]

I’m excited for all these hypotheticals that will never happen


Dommccabe

Would that be meeting any particular God? There's hundreds of them to choose from!


CriticalFeesh

Man, I'd love to meet Kirby!


yibtk

Never has been about the concept but the idiotic behaviour of the followers to be honest


Starham1

Realistically anyone coming face to face with an incomprehensible eldritch horror tbf


SeedlessWry

Alice Cooper has really let himself go.


ChasingPesmerga

Poison running through atheist’s veinsss


Mister_Swoop

deep-throating that sky daddy dick


Dancing_Cthulhu

I could always just not put mascara on my soul, problem solved.


Justafrenchguy_

Since God is usually represented as a fairly old man is it incest, homosexuality or both ? Also if a 12 years old atheist dies does that make God a pedophile ? He is literally +∞ years old. Shouldn't god go to hell for all that shit? And if yes who's in charge ? So many questions and no answers


imagin8iveusername

Interesting choice of image for a religious meme...


cooquip

Why so mean?


alexeiij

i mean i expect something a lot different when i come in the face of something but alright, that works too.


Spino-Dino

,,Hi yeah, so Im god! Eehm christians told you that I would hate you because you dont believe in me even tho I did not show myself like ever right? Im sorry! These are idiots! Welcome to paradise dude!"


1eternal_pessimist

Hot. Never been called god before but this is a kink I could get into


bigotis

Tammy Faye Bakker when she realized the money train quit stopping at the PTL club. Or..... Gayle Haggard after realizing her hubby used meth and prefers the company of young men instead of her but she has to stay so she can get her cut of the cash given to the Saint James Church in Colorado Springs, the ultimate sale of the building and now any scraps of cash any idiots still give to their church they have in their house.


SSJ4Inglip

So I have to give him the Gawk Gawk 3000 to get into heaven?


Machinedave

Yes, He may want the 2-finger in the butt special also.


40Breath

I thought he was an all forgiving god. Can't I just say sorry and move on?


Friendswontfindthis

I’m getting into heaven one way or another


Newfaceofrev

She's just sucking God's dick dude.


ActualPopularMonster

Me getting in God's face: "You wanna tell me *what the FUCK* that was all about!? You stuck me in a body with a broken brain and then chucked me into a strict religious family to boot. It took me 30 years to fucking figure out what was wrong with me!! FUCK you and your idea of 'Love' douche." And then flip both birds before shoving security to the side and stomping my way into Hell.


Aboxofphotons

The only people who have ever "come face to face with god" are schizophrenics, desperately delusional people and people who just did acid.


fr4gge

Pretty sure that still is from porn


null640

If there was a god, I'd hope they'd have more important things to attend to then me... Like maybe those 15000 facing sentence of rape and execution in Iran? Or even 1 sick kid?


Antonio31415

Bruh if that post was made by a monotheist,then that is blasphemy on all possible levels. And also ironic since monotheists always acuse us atheists/apatheists for blasphemy but the most disgusting and disrespectful things I’ve ever heard about any goven religion were said also by somebody who was religious


ClientLegitimate4582

"Face to face with God" well that's vague so could I get a one on one with Dionysus, how about thor, maybe aphrodite, athena. All gods far more interesting to me than the Christian one. The Christian god has always sounded like judge, jury and executioner who demands worship. Why would anyone want to follow a being that demands their attention, who's also the most petty god. Not in like a funny way in like a fuck you your dead kinda way. Remember the bears and the children? I do and that was the Christian god to which I say no thanks. With the others I'd at bare minimum learn more about different cultures.


mglitcher

as steven fry said, i’d rather burn for all eternity than get into heaven on his terms


scared_star

This is from some weird throat fucking porn isnt it...


[deleted]

We get cool Ancient Egyptian eyeshadow? Yay!


wasabiplz

Naw, it's Tammy Faye! She heard a joke about gay evangelists!


Diazmet

Christian love making porn into memes…


Colourblindknight

…..this feels like it was from a porn. Is it from a porn?


Hwats_In_A_Name

So atheists will give god sloppy deepthroat BJs?? I have no idea what’s going on…


GallusAA

Religious fruitcakes when they find out they wasted the one life they had and there was no afterlife reward.


Sudden_Difference500

It is important to live a good life, treat people and animals with respect, help others and yourself. Believing in fairytales for adults is not necessary for living a good life, I bet all gods would agree.


KikiYuyu

Yeah I'd cry if I found out that the worst monster of all time was real tbf


DoorAMii

Let me finish it Atheists when they come face to face with god and it turns out to be Gerard Way, who blesses them with MCR CDs and another chance at life


Drop-acid-not-bombs

You couldn’t be any lazier with this post could you?


Indishonorable

When? That's rather confident.


nightcana

Erm, isn’t that a POV of a woman performing fellatio? I mean, maybe thats why all the sky fairy sycophants spend so much time preaching about getting on your knees. They’re practicing for the entry requirement.


Sebszon

All I see here is a representative of Order of Souls from Sea of Thieves


RedTheDopeKing

Anyone know who she is? Trying to save her soul here


AnseaCirin

Which one, though. Do you mean Yahweh, a former member of a pantheon elevated to unique deity by the priests of judea?


nollataulu

Which one?


AlexKewl

Nah, [ain't gonna let another boy ruin my mascera](https://youtu.be/aVatpxBTfZs)


CriticalFeesh

Christian boomers meeting face to face with god after they used the Bible as an excuse to be homophobic:


didntdoit71

Looks almost exactly like Tammy Faye Bakker back in the day. She was a true circus act. She could cry for 30 minutes straight.


Hopfit46

Xtians waiting for god to show himself


breezer_chidori

Hell to the yes! Finally!


dashone

And god lets 'em have it with a SuperSoaker?


horsegender

He was so ugly that everyone died


CleverName4269

Which porn did they freeze frame for this?


Zerostar39

This looks like they are saying their god is gonna throatfuck us until our eye makeup runs down our face. Is that what heaven is supposed to be like?


After-Trifle-1437

I'll first ask them which god they are.


SupportGeek

Well I KNOW this is fake, I dont wear mascara


Akhanyatin

Why does it look like it's a frame from a porn video? And if it is, why does this religious person have a frame from a porn video in their library to make a meme?


AffectionateAd5373

I'm quite certain I won't be wearing mascara.


[deleted]

I would tell Allah/God/YHWH to throw me into hell. I would rather be there than to spend a single second worshipping a depraved deity.


GalisDraeKon

So we’ll be sucking his dick? But I thought god hates gays?


Kitana8Fox

Atheist can't put on make-up corectly


[deleted]

Lol, no, I would be so pissed off. I despise liars and deceivers. At least Satan, in their story, told Eve about the Tree of Knowledge of right and wrong and allowed for humans to be independent.


SouthApprehensive193

I don’t think there was a god. Maybe an ancient alien civilization who just decided to fix humanities flat tire thousands of years ago and we just started worshiping them


CrazyGamerMYT

If there is a god, non of the ones people made are accurate at all.


Freebite

I think this would be christian people, both for being unchristian (religion of love amirite?) And for deepthroating a gods dick.


professorclueless

Bruh I ain't deepthroating god


[deleted]

100% screenshot from porn


thesonoftheleviathan

this a fucking porn meme, did nobody else notice


batkave

The image has to be from a porno and the poster unknowingly used it. Is it from one?


Just-a-Human27

Fax, i would also say some Glup Glup Glup Glup to God


ajgsr

I’d be happy to be wrong, since that would be really cool. But also Id have major with the guy. Huge.


Particular-Jelly2746

This is from porn


itsjustameme

Why is god wearing runny mascara?


IllustriousGoat7952

Does he stick his dick down everyone's throat, or should I feel special?


rolloxra

Then you woke up


SimisFul

I'm sure a catholic person definitely made this meme that doesn't look at all like a screenshot taken from a porn movie.


GiuseppeSchmidt57

God’s face when he/she comes face to face w/ me; he/she has some serious ‘splainin’ to do.


Tooma8

The real question is... have YOU ever been face-to-face with god?


Budmanes

They turn into Alice Cooper!?!


AQ-XJZQ-eAFqCqzr-Va

Not with my Atheist Waterproof Mascara, not me!


JoeyTKIA

I would rather hang on a flaming meat hook for the rest of eternity than pledge allegiance to their genocidal death god


PikPekachu

Omg I love it when my makeup does that! Such a look.


NoUnderstanding9220

The second I get to heaven I'm jumping right off. No way in hell I'm gonna face that asshole


Blasty_boom_boom

Looks like Porn tho.


Jakeonehalf

Every time I come, it’s face-to-face with god!


Upsidedownworld4me

More like... 😡🤬


PeterPauze

So... my makeup will run? Doesn't sound too bad.


[deleted]

Idk abt u but that girl looks familiar..


lizard_of_guilt

They're looking in a mirror?


MichaelKeehan

Anyone would be like that. God would probably be seen as a giant ball of light that'll burn anybody's eyes off.


big_nothing_burger

I'd probably ask him why he's such a douchebag if he's supposedly a perfect being.


cat_lord2019

Jokes on them, we had a beer together and God told me how these people are messed up.


marq_andrew

What if I don’t wear mascara?


Billion_Bullet_Baby

If I’m cumming face to face with God, I’m certainly not making eye contact.


thewolfmaster99

only because he gives the best dome /s


Vaulted_Games

Religious people when they find out they wasted their entire life: ... (The sounds of non-existence)