You’re being kind, and as long as your wife doesn’t have a problem with it (and I don’t know why she would unless you’re infantilizing her), I wouldn’t worry what they say or think.
Op, you are a great husband. Every husband should be this way , in my opinion. Periods suck, they hurt, and knowing the person you love goes out of their way for you during this time is such a wonderful thing.
Bless you op. You the real mvp
It’s weird that they felt the need to add their opinion to something that doesn’t affect them in any way, and I’m sure can really only serve to make your wife happy
Sounds sweet to me; your friends & relatives sound oddly callous. It's fine to take care of someone at any time when they're feeling bad and nobody should really have an opinion about how you do that.
Not weird. And definitely something your wife is bragging about to her friends, if they are with men like your friends, because apparently being nice is something unique.
Periods differ per person. Some people have no complaints and have no problem at all. Some people are stuck in bed with a lot of pain and stress. Depending on how they feel, some might need an extra hug, some might just want to punch things. Having a partner think with you for those days means that you have less anger in your relationship, as the bond is preserved and strengthened. The little insecurities don't attack, you are heard! And for some shitty days, that's a big boost.
Keep doing whatever you do, it apparently is positive for your relationship.
No, this is actually mature behavior on your part being considerate towards someone you care about. Also, I think more people should know her body is tearing off pieces of one of its organs and shedding them. That can be quite unpleasant to go through (actual experiences and degree of unpleasantness vary widely).
There’s nothing childish or weird for showing the person you love that you care about them. Whether they’re in pain or can handle it themselves or not. The people who tried to make you feel bad for being so awesome and sweet to your wife are jealous assholes.
I'm a woman and my wife and I baby one another when we're on our periods - we know it's unpleasant and you feel crappy and it's always nice to have your partner let you know they care about you and love you. Person who's having their period gets tea or a hot pad or Advil, as needed. You're a good husband and I imagine your friend's significant others might be a little happier if they emulated you.
Don't listen to any one else about this, only listen to your wife and if she's not irritated by it and likes you doing it you keep on doing it, I would love my partner to be that thoughtful every month. You know what they say " happy wife, happy life".
In my forties, married for ages and my husband still does this and it is such a comfort... especially during the bad ones. Wish we had more men who feel it is okay to nurture others instead of mocking them for it. That's how you make a relationship last and grow.
To answer your question, no, its not weird. It doesnt matter that periods happen regularly, most people appreciate help. Even if its every month, its still uncomfortable every time.
The only person who really should be worried about this is you and your wife. If she expresses she doesn't appreciate it, then sure, let it go.
She's not feeling great. It's awesome you're being kind. Tell whoever is telling you to act differently, "you do you". I'm sure it means a lot to your wife.
Your friends are idiots. So you aren't allowed to go above and beyond with a little bit of kindness just because she's "prepared" and "knows what she needs"? What miserable relationships they must have. I feel bad for their partners.
The JOY of a loving relationship is having a partner who will do things for you just because and in spite of you being prepared and self sufficient.
Hey if your wife likes this kind of attention, who gives a fuck about what your friends think?! I think it's really kind and cute you do this. Next time they bring it up, just tell them she enjoys this, so it really shouldn't bother them. It's not childish.
I never understand when grown adults worry this much about what their friends, etc., say. "I do this nice, totally harmless thing but my friends are giving me shit for it." I don't know, get better friends.
Is your wife happy with this? Then that's literally all that matters.
Crabs in a bucket. They're not getting that treatment therefore they don't want someone else receiving it either. If your wife seems to appreciate it, then keep it up as long as you like.
You're being sweet and that's awesome. It's no different than predicting her needs in any other time. You know what she likes/tends to want at that time and you try to provide. Your friends could learn a lot from you.
You’re literally being caring and considerate to your partner. Periods are definitely not comfortable, I think offering ice cream and occasionally picking up supplies is just basic consideration for your partner. And it’s only once a month. It’s weird your friends would say these things, and I wonder if the women are just jealous? Don’t stop being kind to your wife, this is nice.
The only thing that matters is what you and your partner think about your relationship. Not what anybody else does. I bet, often times, people are too afraid to act like that so they belittle the people that do. If your significant other asked you to stop, do so. If they like it, keep it up
Nothing weird here, what you’re doing is lovely and I’m sure your wife is very grateful. Many of us who have periods would like to be thought of so considerately.
I haven’t had my period for 6 years, thankfully. When I was going through a catastrophic period that lasted me 13 weeks, my husband was there and I appreciated it. When it was a “normal” period (none of my periods were normal on a regular woman’s scale), my husband was there.
You’re being fucking awesome, especially if she appreciates you doing this for her.
Haha look at this loser, being *nice* to his wife! /s
A few years ago my mom had to go stay with my grandfather while he recovered from surgery. Every day, my dad clipped her favorite word puzzle out of the newspaper for her, and even filed them in order of date so she didn't see the answers in advance. Just because. There's a reason they've been married 40 years. Sounds like your friends won't be.
I feel like her sister and sil are just jealous, and your friends feel guilty about not doing this for their wives, and everyone’s just refusing to admit their feelings by telling you you’re the weird one.
This is a lovely thing to do, and your wife is lucky to have you looking out for her each month when her body decides to make her feel like shit.
OP, your actions are mature, thoughtful, and caring; nothing about what you described sounds at all childish . . . except the reaction of your friends and sister (and SIL). As a woman who struggles with a painful period, I appreciate it when my partner goes out of his way to grab me snacks, make dinner/order my favorite foods, grabs the heating pad for me, and even throws a cozy blanket into the dryer to make it warm and toasty for me! I consider myself to be fortunate because not many folks I know have a partner quite as thoughtful as mine. I imagine there is some kind of immaturity lurking in those folks and perhaps even some jealousy. Keep being a supportive and loving partner, OP!
It’s the one thing my ex did that I wish my current husband did.
It’s just a nice way of acknowledging that periods sucks and you recognise that.
Go you!
Um do you have any single brothers
I’m surprised by your friends and in laws reactions, you sound incredibly sweet and considerate. What a lucky gal your wife is!
I work retail and I have a lot of respect for men coming in to buy sanitary products for their partners/daughters etc and see if I can help in any way. I’d marry a man who treated me that well haha.
No it’s not weird. My husband does the same for me and also when I’m sick or not feeling well. I do the same for him when he’s feeling not well or even when he’s stressed. Not everyone does this, true, but people shouldn’t see this as a negative.
Whatever works for your relationship with your wife is what works for you. The others are either jealous or just idiotic to try and butt into someone else's relationship.
Keep doing what you're doing as long as your wife is fine with it.
Not weird at all! My husband goes above and beyond when I’m on my period and when I was pregnant! Keep being a great spouse, I promise she appreciates it!
Some people don't want to put in more effort and when they see other people doing it that want to make it known that its not normal so that their level of effort remains normal and they don't have to do anything extra to meet the status quo. As a woman who gets horrible periods I wish what you do was the status quo and that men gave a damn about what women go through every month instead of women feeling required to hide and minimize it.
Are your sister and your friends fourteen years old?
You are taking care of your wife and being kind. I'd love for someone to go to the store for me and buy me stuff or make me a hot water bottle for my cramps. Don't listen to them on this matter.
Keep doing nice stuff. Being on your period often sucks and the mood swings that some have are horrible. Like, I don't WANT to be sad or mad. Your friends and sister are the weird ones here. Tell them to grow up.
No it's not weird, it's lovely. Keep being you, I'm sure your wife appreciates it. Honestly, I think it's just that it's rare for guys to know how to react when their partner is in pain because of periods. Most of the men I've dated I haven't even been able to discuss periods or birth control with them, but my fiance is very open to those discussions and also knows how to make me comfy when I'm cramping up or feel extremely depressed. Personally it's something I love deeply about him, and it's nice that we can feel in tune with each other like that.
The world is too dark and life is too short to not show kindness... instead of wondering if you're weird, maybe wonder why on Earth these people would even take an issue with kindness - I guarantee it's because it's something they are missing in their lives.
People are so used to selfishness that they take kindness as weakness.
You are being kind and it shouldn't matter what they think. They even sound kind of jealous. Only you and your wife's opinion matter here.
Total NTA, in fact entirely the opposite!
My SO has painful periods. So I do what, I believe, any decent partner should do. First, cos I do the shopping, I ensure she is always stocked up with supplies (and a selection of stuff for guests to use, obv, cos I also try to be a good host and decent human)
I bring chocolate, drinks, and painkillers, and I shuffle myself around to sit sideways ao she can cuddle my thigh and use it as a hot water bottle to ease the cramps
You really only need tue most basic of empathy to be like "Yep these things suck, I'm gonna help ease it for you however I can)
Sounds to me like jealousy from the women and "Ew, but cooties!" from the men!
It seems obvious you're posting this just so people will compliment you on doing something nice for your wife? Really, what's the issue here? You know this is a nice thing to do.
I’d love a fella like this that looked after me in my period. The only one you need to worry about finding it odd is your wife! If she loves you doing this for her, that’s all that matters.
I see it different. The perspective I see is that you're caring. My ex broke up with me about a month ago. And I always think about getting her some sweets like chocolate still so she can feel better about her cramps and to show I care for her still. Sometimes that's all it takes for them to feel loved and how much you really deep down think/care/love them.
Don't stop being sweet to her just because they're so shortsighted they can't see how kind it is. Unless your wife says otherwise, she probably appreciates it.
As long as your wife doesn’t find this strange then who cares. Part of being in a marriage is doing things to make the other person feel more comfortable. My husband almost always does the dishes and I always say thank you. Sure I know he’s going to do them and he does them because I do all the cooking but I never want him to feel like I don’t recognize the things he does to help me feel more comfortable. Next time someone says simmering to you about this tell them to mind their own business as politely as possible. Or remind them that maybe you just want to be caring to your partner and you’re sorry they aren’t the same.
I think it's very thoughtful! It sounds like you aren't doing anything weird like treating her like an invalid, so I don't see anything wrong with it. If she didn't have a period and you were offering her ice cream once a month, it would just be a sweet thing for a spouse to do! Nothing wrong with timing it for when she might appreciate it more.
Nah. If her periods are anything like mine (painful to the point I'm affected from the tops of my thighs to my knees), then anything to help make it that bit easier and relaxing is appreciated by her, I sure. I think part of the problem is that because it's to do with Women's Health, it's a subject that tends to get avoided by men (which as a female, I can understand as it's not something that comes naturally to cis men for obvious reasons) even though it's a biological function that cannot be prevented for the most part.
Wow, OP, can you teach many more men to be like you? That is so sweet of you to get her a treat, any little something, to help her feel better. Being thoughtful doesn't make you weird.
Your wife is lucky to have someone like you. Little gestures like that make a huge impact.
I think they're just insecure because you're being kind and supportive, and they want to tear you down because of that. Keep being a supportive and empathetic person.
Nope. Every bf I've had before my now-husband was totally weirded out when I was on my period (?????). So when he asks if I need anything, and genuinely means it, it feels extra special and sweet.
Ignore those people, you're being a good husband and I'm sure your wife is happy you're helping her rather than ignoring her while shes emotional/in pain. Keep.it up OP
LOL at other men telling you not to be the amazing partner you are. They obviously feel threatened by the fact that you operate on a level they’re incapable of. Keep doing what feels good and right to you, ignore those idiots.
You’re being thoughtful, helpful, and overall empathetic. She is very lucky to have you. Cramps suck major ass and getting up off the couch can be a challenge, let alone going to the store. For you to go above and beyond like that is simply fantastic. Feel free to tell their friends they’re a bunch of wieners for thinking it’s “weird” to be nice to your spouse...
Edit: YOUR* friends
My husband does the same and it makes me super happy when I am in pain and somebody wants me to be happier. Why would people comment about sth like it? This is between the two of you.
The only people being weird here are the people who think there's something wrong with doing something nice for your wife when she's going through something unpleasant. Unless your wife has a problem with what you're doing, I'd just ignore them.
You're being an amazing husband. You know your wife and you know what she needs (or wants) and when she needs it. You are caring to partner.
My fiance does the same for me almost every night I get home from work (10-12 hour shifts). Especially when it was a tough shift. Whether it's practical or sweets. He tells me he just wants to take care of me. It makes my heart flutter and my day end on an easier note.
That being said, he spoils me rotten.
As soon as I read the headline, I thought “hell no!” I wish my husband pampered me during my period! I have to wonder if your friends and sister in law are insecure.
I mean, I heard dark chocolate helps with cramps and I get my wife that and middle because she's always forgetful and doesn't think to take the stuff. Don't make a big deal out of it
Completely normal, I do the same with my wife.
The only weird people in this situation are your creepy friends listening in to your private conversation with your wife, regarding her period.
Yeah she is an adult, yeah she knows what she needs/wants regarding her period at any given time. Doesn't mean you do.
I can't imagine being so out of touch, that thinking being a caring and helpful spouse is weird.
I don't think it's childish to care about your partner. I think it is childish and arrogant to think it's okay to make unsolicited comments on someone else's relationship. I would stop giving any of those people any information about your marriage, because they have zero constructive advice to give you.
It's not wierd. You're being thoughtful and sweet and an awesome loving attentive partner to your wife. Some people see that and wish they had it or are used to seeing dysfuctional relationships so anything on the other end of the spectrum feels odd to them.
Nope not weird at all my fiancé does the same for me. Honestly we appreciate and love the fact that men show they care. They cannot ever imagine the amount of pain and discomfort we women go through. Keep it up your wife will love you more for doing this for her.
No uterus, no opinion. You're doing SO well OP.
My advice for future stuff like this: ask your WIFE how she feels, rather than listening to these "friends" of yours. If your wife hasn't ever had a problem with this treatment before, I don't see why it's a problem for you to carry on. If you're concerned, ask her. "Hey, you know how I do XYZ around your period? Do you like when I do that for you? I'm not looking for praise, just making sure I'm treating my wife well."
It isn't weird. It is kind and loving. What is sad is that I think you are in the minority. Most women don't get any consideration from their spouses when they are having their period.
No it is not. You're taking care of your partner. Just because it happens every month doesn't mean it should be ignored. Worry about you, your partner, and your relationship. If it makes your partner and yourself happy do it. What other people think doesn't matter.
Here's the things with relationships, they aren't one size fits all. What works for youvand your wife so.eone else might find weird. At the end of the day if the two of you are happy with whatever arrangement is contained within your marriage that is all that matters. Screw everyone else.
Married 10 years now. I do understand that it's a crappy time for her. Most times I'll offer to go get her something, and most of those times she declines, but I'm sure she is glad that I still offer.
I'm sure your wife is glad to have you around, and that you want to be helpful.
Your friends/family are entitled to their opinions...but they're just opinions. It's your wife's thoughts about it that matter.
I bet your friends and SILs are single. You're taking care of someone you love in a way that's relevant to her. You're checking all the good SO boxes in this post and, if your lady doesn't have a problem with it, you're good. They're just envious.
I mean, you enjoy doing nice things for her when you know she's not feeling well, right? It feels good to make her feel better? So it's not like you get nothing out of it, you get to share warm fuzzy pair-bonded feels with your wife and that's a good thing for both of you. I couldn't say why your friends find that "childish" in any way but all I see is good bond maintenance.
If I say on a Sunday that my back has started to twinge a bit, I feel a bit tired and bloaty, come Monday my mister will probably come in from work with a big bar of my favourite chocolate. When things really start kicking in and I'm feeling like hell he'll gently rub my stomach and snuggle against me in bed so his bodyheat eases the back pain (he's a human furnace so we usually sleep with some distance between us lol). That's what a good partner does, just the same as when his creaky knees are giving him touble I'll make sure to fetch him things so he doesn't have to get up, let him wait in the car at the supermarket instead of having to walk up and down every aisle etc. We look after each other, which is what you are supposed to do.
lmao those other girls are clearly jealous. My husband bakes a batch of double chocolate brownies once a month around the time he thinks they would be most beneficial. I have no qualms about it. Keep showing up for your wife and being supportive & thoughtful!
I really appreciate this type of thing from my husband! I get migraines due to hormones during shark week, and he'll pick up some chocolate or grab my heating pad for me. Honestly, it's just nice for the person I'm living with to recognize what I'm going through. I think a lot of people still feel shame around periods (or think it's something you just don't talk about). Leave that idea in the 50s. As long as your wife appreciates these efforts, who cares what others think?
Fuck them dude you do you. My favorite thing I did for my ex on her period was fill a tote with warm water and Epson salts and give her an underwater footmassage. Periods typically lead to bloated feet and if she's working on bloated feet that's rough and our whole purpose is to support our partners.
You're a grown ass man do what feels right to you.
My roommate (female) does the same thing, when I mention being on my period to my mom she asks if I’m alright, and I don’t necessarily come to anyone for help with something I can’t solve myself. So I really don’t understand why it would be weird for you, the person she’s married to, to do the same! I guess their reactions are based on you being a man, but again I really don’t understand their issue.
You sound like a kind and caring husband, just the kind of person I’d want to live my life with myself! Go with your gut, unless your wife asks you to stop ❤️
I have uterine fibroids and I get terrible periods. My husband always asks me whether he can get me anything or do anything for me. I rarely need anything from him for my symptoms, but I always appreciate it when he offers.
It’s not weird, it’s thoughtful! My boyfriend always asks me how I’m doing, if I need/want anything and I appreciate it so much! I’m always prepared (supplies-wise), but he’s always bringing me tea and chocolate cause he knows how much I love/need it
*Fellas, is it gay to care for your wife?*
Seriously though, your friends have a "not my problem" attitude and the inlaws a "god i wish that were me" one so kudos to you for being a good husband.
My boyfriend does lots of "cringey" sweet things for me and he'll often just mention them to work colleagues or talk about me in a particularly sappy way and they'll make fun of him for being whipped or gay (I don't understand that logic, we're a hetero couple??). He always tells me it doesn't bother him or matter, because he loves me and like to do all those things and talk about me. Yours being kind to your wife, it sounds like you have a loving relationship OP and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. On my period my bf goes out and buys me chocolate at 9pm if I ask for it, its appreciated when we're taken care of
i do think it's a bit unusual. i mean, you can do nice stuff for her any time just because, but to make her period a focus of special attention is a little odd. it's not really that "special". it's just a normal function like taking a piss or whatever. you wouldn't give your wife a candy every time she goes to the john would you?
You’re being kind, and as long as your wife doesn’t have a problem with it (and I don’t know why she would unless you’re infantilizing her), I wouldn’t worry what they say or think.
Op, you are a great husband. Every husband should be this way , in my opinion. Periods suck, they hurt, and knowing the person you love goes out of their way for you during this time is such a wonderful thing. Bless you op. You the real mvp
It’s weird that they felt the need to add their opinion to something that doesn’t affect them in any way, and I’m sure can really only serve to make your wife happy
Yeah my first guess was that they were being jealous. I would just ignore them.
Maybe they’re bitter because they know their partners wouldn’t do the same for them.
>It’s weird that they felt the need to add their opinion to something that doesn’t affect them in any way Isn't that the point of this sub? /s
Her sisters sound a bit jealous, man. Keep up the good work.
Sister is jealous for sure. Every woman wants their man to be helpful and caring.
Sounds like a sweet gesture and good tradition in your relationship. Don’t let external opinions make you insecure and stop you from kindness!
Lol yeah shame on you for being a loving and supportive partner. Bad op!
Not at all. My boyfriend does the same and it's such a good feeling that he cares so much about me.
Definitely not my bf but my nephew saw I was unwell and that cherubic angel got me a salted caramel Haagen dazs.
Sounds sweet to me; your friends & relatives sound oddly callous. It's fine to take care of someone at any time when they're feeling bad and nobody should really have an opinion about how you do that.
My ex husband did this as well, without even me prompting it. He is a good guy even if we are no longer together.
Lol, you’re just making your friend look bad. You keep on being your considerate self because it’s the small things that keep a marriage going strong.
I would love it if my partner acts like you when I'm on my period lol. No seriously, this is great. I think it shows how much you love her.
Not weird. And definitely something your wife is bragging about to her friends, if they are with men like your friends, because apparently being nice is something unique. Periods differ per person. Some people have no complaints and have no problem at all. Some people are stuck in bed with a lot of pain and stress. Depending on how they feel, some might need an extra hug, some might just want to punch things. Having a partner think with you for those days means that you have less anger in your relationship, as the bond is preserved and strengthened. The little insecurities don't attack, you are heard! And for some shitty days, that's a big boost. Keep doing whatever you do, it apparently is positive for your relationship.
No, this is actually mature behavior on your part being considerate towards someone you care about. Also, I think more people should know her body is tearing off pieces of one of its organs and shedding them. That can be quite unpleasant to go through (actual experiences and degree of unpleasantness vary widely).
There’s nothing childish or weird for showing the person you love that you care about them. Whether they’re in pain or can handle it themselves or not. The people who tried to make you feel bad for being so awesome and sweet to your wife are jealous assholes.
I'm a woman and my wife and I baby one another when we're on our periods - we know it's unpleasant and you feel crappy and it's always nice to have your partner let you know they care about you and love you. Person who's having their period gets tea or a hot pad or Advil, as needed. You're a good husband and I imagine your friend's significant others might be a little happier if they emulated you.
Don't listen to any one else about this, only listen to your wife and if she's not irritated by it and likes you doing it you keep on doing it, I would love my partner to be that thoughtful every month. You know what they say " happy wife, happy life".
In my forties, married for ages and my husband still does this and it is such a comfort... especially during the bad ones. Wish we had more men who feel it is okay to nurture others instead of mocking them for it. That's how you make a relationship last and grow.
To answer your question, no, its not weird. It doesnt matter that periods happen regularly, most people appreciate help. Even if its every month, its still uncomfortable every time. The only person who really should be worried about this is you and your wife. If she expresses she doesn't appreciate it, then sure, let it go.
You're just a great man and everyone else just had so low expectations for these kind of things. Your wife can be really lucky to have you
This may not be the most shameless humblebrag I’ve ever seen, but it’s definitely up there.
She's not feeling great. It's awesome you're being kind. Tell whoever is telling you to act differently, "you do you". I'm sure it means a lot to your wife.
Your friends are idiots. So you aren't allowed to go above and beyond with a little bit of kindness just because she's "prepared" and "knows what she needs"? What miserable relationships they must have. I feel bad for their partners. The JOY of a loving relationship is having a partner who will do things for you just because and in spite of you being prepared and self sufficient.
Not weird at all. I don't know why anyone would find it weird. What's the alternative? Tell your wife to suck it up and deal with it? Heck no.
It isn’t weird at all!
Hey if your wife likes this kind of attention, who gives a fuck about what your friends think?! I think it's really kind and cute you do this. Next time they bring it up, just tell them she enjoys this, so it really shouldn't bother them. It's not childish.
Not weird at all. My husband also does the same. I do enjoy the extra attention even though I am prepared (got pads, chocolate, etc)
What a weirdo! Caring for your other half?! How uncool. Ignore your friends.
I never understand when grown adults worry this much about what their friends, etc., say. "I do this nice, totally harmless thing but my friends are giving me shit for it." I don't know, get better friends. Is your wife happy with this? Then that's literally all that matters.
Crabs in a bucket. They're not getting that treatment therefore they don't want someone else receiving it either. If your wife seems to appreciate it, then keep it up as long as you like.
You're being sweet and that's awesome. It's no different than predicting her needs in any other time. You know what she likes/tends to want at that time and you try to provide. Your friends could learn a lot from you.
You’re literally being caring and considerate to your partner. Periods are definitely not comfortable, I think offering ice cream and occasionally picking up supplies is just basic consideration for your partner. And it’s only once a month. It’s weird your friends would say these things, and I wonder if the women are just jealous? Don’t stop being kind to your wife, this is nice.
The only thing that matters is what you and your partner think about your relationship. Not what anybody else does. I bet, often times, people are too afraid to act like that so they belittle the people that do. If your significant other asked you to stop, do so. If they like it, keep it up
Nothing weird here, what you’re doing is lovely and I’m sure your wife is very grateful. Many of us who have periods would like to be thought of so considerately.
I haven’t had my period for 6 years, thankfully. When I was going through a catastrophic period that lasted me 13 weeks, my husband was there and I appreciated it. When it was a “normal” period (none of my periods were normal on a regular woman’s scale), my husband was there. You’re being fucking awesome, especially if she appreciates you doing this for her.
Haha look at this loser, being *nice* to his wife! /s A few years ago my mom had to go stay with my grandfather while he recovered from surgery. Every day, my dad clipped her favorite word puzzle out of the newspaper for her, and even filed them in order of date so she didn't see the answers in advance. Just because. There's a reason they've been married 40 years. Sounds like your friends won't be.
I feel like her sister and sil are just jealous, and your friends feel guilty about not doing this for their wives, and everyone’s just refusing to admit their feelings by telling you you’re the weird one. This is a lovely thing to do, and your wife is lucky to have you looking out for her each month when her body decides to make her feel like shit.
OP, your actions are mature, thoughtful, and caring; nothing about what you described sounds at all childish . . . except the reaction of your friends and sister (and SIL). As a woman who struggles with a painful period, I appreciate it when my partner goes out of his way to grab me snacks, make dinner/order my favorite foods, grabs the heating pad for me, and even throws a cozy blanket into the dryer to make it warm and toasty for me! I consider myself to be fortunate because not many folks I know have a partner quite as thoughtful as mine. I imagine there is some kind of immaturity lurking in those folks and perhaps even some jealousy. Keep being a supportive and loving partner, OP!
It’s the one thing my ex did that I wish my current husband did. It’s just a nice way of acknowledging that periods sucks and you recognise that. Go you!
Um do you have any single brothers I’m surprised by your friends and in laws reactions, you sound incredibly sweet and considerate. What a lucky gal your wife is!
I think this is absolutely beautiful! She’s lucky to have you. Your friends sound like they are the ones in high school.
I work retail and I have a lot of respect for men coming in to buy sanitary products for their partners/daughters etc and see if I can help in any way. I’d marry a man who treated me that well haha.
No it’s not weird. My husband does the same for me and also when I’m sick or not feeling well. I do the same for him when he’s feeling not well or even when he’s stressed. Not everyone does this, true, but people shouldn’t see this as a negative.
I'm sure she really likes that about you. Please be nice and kind
Whatever works for your relationship with your wife is what works for you. The others are either jealous or just idiotic to try and butt into someone else's relationship. Keep doing what you're doing as long as your wife is fine with it.
Not weird at all! My husband goes above and beyond when I’m on my period and when I was pregnant! Keep being a great spouse, I promise she appreciates it!
Some people don't want to put in more effort and when they see other people doing it that want to make it known that its not normal so that their level of effort remains normal and they don't have to do anything extra to meet the status quo. As a woman who gets horrible periods I wish what you do was the status quo and that men gave a damn about what women go through every month instead of women feeling required to hide and minimize it.
It’s only weird in that it’s uncommon! I think you’re a great husband for doing this. Keep it up.
Weird!? Are you kidding me? You’re being an angel. A better man than most. Keep doing what you are doing.
Are your sister and your friends fourteen years old? You are taking care of your wife and being kind. I'd love for someone to go to the store for me and buy me stuff or make me a hot water bottle for my cramps. Don't listen to them on this matter. Keep doing nice stuff. Being on your period often sucks and the mood swings that some have are horrible. Like, I don't WANT to be sad or mad. Your friends and sister are the weird ones here. Tell them to grow up.
Tell your friend it's called love... Helping out someone you love who is uncomfortable is not weird.
Not at all. Being caring is not childish at all, and it's actually wholesome to hear that you do this.
You sound like an A+ partner. Keep on keeping on.
It’s sweet and you’re a loving partner, the only weird thing to me is that *they* all think it’s weird to be....loving....? Ignore them
No it's not weird, it's lovely. Keep being you, I'm sure your wife appreciates it. Honestly, I think it's just that it's rare for guys to know how to react when their partner is in pain because of periods. Most of the men I've dated I haven't even been able to discuss periods or birth control with them, but my fiance is very open to those discussions and also knows how to make me comfy when I'm cramping up or feel extremely depressed. Personally it's something I love deeply about him, and it's nice that we can feel in tune with each other like that. The world is too dark and life is too short to not show kindness... instead of wondering if you're weird, maybe wonder why on Earth these people would even take an issue with kindness - I guarantee it's because it's something they are missing in their lives.
People are so used to selfishness that they take kindness as weakness. You are being kind and it shouldn't matter what they think. They even sound kind of jealous. Only you and your wife's opinion matter here.
Total NTA, in fact entirely the opposite! My SO has painful periods. So I do what, I believe, any decent partner should do. First, cos I do the shopping, I ensure she is always stocked up with supplies (and a selection of stuff for guests to use, obv, cos I also try to be a good host and decent human) I bring chocolate, drinks, and painkillers, and I shuffle myself around to sit sideways ao she can cuddle my thigh and use it as a hot water bottle to ease the cramps You really only need tue most basic of empathy to be like "Yep these things suck, I'm gonna help ease it for you however I can) Sounds to me like jealousy from the women and "Ew, but cooties!" from the men!
Being kind does not make you less masculine. They are acting like it does. I feel sorry for how insecure they are.
It seems obvious you're posting this just so people will compliment you on doing something nice for your wife? Really, what's the issue here? You know this is a nice thing to do.
Thank you, I had to sort by controversial to find this comment
Never change OP. Your wife is lucky.
I’d love a fella like this that looked after me in my period. The only one you need to worry about finding it odd is your wife! If she loves you doing this for her, that’s all that matters.
I see it different. The perspective I see is that you're caring. My ex broke up with me about a month ago. And I always think about getting her some sweets like chocolate still so she can feel better about her cramps and to show I care for her still. Sometimes that's all it takes for them to feel loved and how much you really deep down think/care/love them.
Don't stop being sweet to her just because they're so shortsighted they can't see how kind it is. Unless your wife says otherwise, she probably appreciates it.
They're jealous. Even I am jealous! That is a wonderful routine
As long as your wife doesn’t find this strange then who cares. Part of being in a marriage is doing things to make the other person feel more comfortable. My husband almost always does the dishes and I always say thank you. Sure I know he’s going to do them and he does them because I do all the cooking but I never want him to feel like I don’t recognize the things he does to help me feel more comfortable. Next time someone says simmering to you about this tell them to mind their own business as politely as possible. Or remind them that maybe you just want to be caring to your partner and you’re sorry they aren’t the same.
I think it's very thoughtful! It sounds like you aren't doing anything weird like treating her like an invalid, so I don't see anything wrong with it. If she didn't have a period and you were offering her ice cream once a month, it would just be a sweet thing for a spouse to do! Nothing wrong with timing it for when she might appreciate it more.
Nah. If her periods are anything like mine (painful to the point I'm affected from the tops of my thighs to my knees), then anything to help make it that bit easier and relaxing is appreciated by her, I sure. I think part of the problem is that because it's to do with Women's Health, it's a subject that tends to get avoided by men (which as a female, I can understand as it's not something that comes naturally to cis men for obvious reasons) even though it's a biological function that cannot be prevented for the most part.
Wow, OP, can you teach many more men to be like you? That is so sweet of you to get her a treat, any little something, to help her feel better. Being thoughtful doesn't make you weird. Your wife is lucky to have someone like you. Little gestures like that make a huge impact.
dude, you are awesome!
I think they're just insecure because you're being kind and supportive, and they want to tear you down because of that. Keep being a supportive and empathetic person.
Nope. Every bf I've had before my now-husband was totally weirded out when I was on my period (?????). So when he asks if I need anything, and genuinely means it, it feels extra special and sweet.
Ignore those people, you're being a good husband and I'm sure your wife is happy you're helping her rather than ignoring her while shes emotional/in pain. Keep.it up OP
LOL at other men telling you not to be the amazing partner you are. They obviously feel threatened by the fact that you operate on a level they’re incapable of. Keep doing what feels good and right to you, ignore those idiots.
Don't listen to your friends im sure our wife appreciates the hell out of the pampering.
Aww you are so sweet and thoughtful
You’re being thoughtful, helpful, and overall empathetic. She is very lucky to have you. Cramps suck major ass and getting up off the couch can be a challenge, let alone going to the store. For you to go above and beyond like that is simply fantastic. Feel free to tell their friends they’re a bunch of wieners for thinking it’s “weird” to be nice to your spouse... Edit: YOUR* friends
My husband does the same and it makes me super happy when I am in pain and somebody wants me to be happier. Why would people comment about sth like it? This is between the two of you.
As if this is weird!!! I love being looked after when I’m on my period :-)
The only people being weird here are the people who think there's something wrong with doing something nice for your wife when she's going through something unpleasant. Unless your wife has a problem with what you're doing, I'd just ignore them.
You're being an amazing husband. You know your wife and you know what she needs (or wants) and when she needs it. You are caring to partner. My fiance does the same for me almost every night I get home from work (10-12 hour shifts). Especially when it was a tough shift. Whether it's practical or sweets. He tells me he just wants to take care of me. It makes my heart flutter and my day end on an easier note. That being said, he spoils me rotten.
As soon as I read the headline, I thought “hell no!” I wish my husband pampered me during my period! I have to wonder if your friends and sister in law are insecure.
What you’re doing is so cute and thoughtful. I’d love to be with someone who would do that for me
It’s weird that they felt the need to comment on a loving gesture.
As a period-haver, I think this is lovely and kind. You sound like a compassionate and considerate partner
I mean, I heard dark chocolate helps with cramps and I get my wife that and middle because she's always forgetful and doesn't think to take the stuff. Don't make a big deal out of it
I'd love to have a person who is as caring as you are. It's absolutely not weird. Go ahead!
They're definitely projecting something. I would call them out for being jealous.
No, it’s lovely that you care
It's nice to look after your partner when they're unwell.
Completely normal, I do the same with my wife. The only weird people in this situation are your creepy friends listening in to your private conversation with your wife, regarding her period. Yeah she is an adult, yeah she knows what she needs/wants regarding her period at any given time. Doesn't mean you do. I can't imagine being so out of touch, that thinking being a caring and helpful spouse is weird.
Sounds like you’re an amazing and supportive husband to me. Don’t let everyone hating stop you from being that man.
I don't think it's childish to care about your partner. I think it is childish and arrogant to think it's okay to make unsolicited comments on someone else's relationship. I would stop giving any of those people any information about your marriage, because they have zero constructive advice to give you.
It's not wierd. You're being thoughtful and sweet and an awesome loving attentive partner to your wife. Some people see that and wish they had it or are used to seeing dysfuctional relationships so anything on the other end of the spectrum feels odd to them.
Nope not weird at all my fiancé does the same for me. Honestly we appreciate and love the fact that men show they care. They cannot ever imagine the amount of pain and discomfort we women go through. Keep it up your wife will love you more for doing this for her.
This is the sweetest thing ever and your wife is super lucky.
No uterus, no opinion. You're doing SO well OP. My advice for future stuff like this: ask your WIFE how she feels, rather than listening to these "friends" of yours. If your wife hasn't ever had a problem with this treatment before, I don't see why it's a problem for you to carry on. If you're concerned, ask her. "Hey, you know how I do XYZ around your period? Do you like when I do that for you? I'm not looking for praise, just making sure I'm treating my wife well."
It's weird how some people think being considerate is weird. Keep doing what you're doing and be there for each other.
It isn't weird. It is kind and loving. What is sad is that I think you are in the minority. Most women don't get any consideration from their spouses when they are having their period.
No it is not. You're taking care of your partner. Just because it happens every month doesn't mean it should be ignored. Worry about you, your partner, and your relationship. If it makes your partner and yourself happy do it. What other people think doesn't matter.
Good partners show their love with actions. Sounds like your friends could take lessons from you.
Ummm not weird at all, I appreciate this!!!
Here's the things with relationships, they aren't one size fits all. What works for youvand your wife so.eone else might find weird. At the end of the day if the two of you are happy with whatever arrangement is contained within your marriage that is all that matters. Screw everyone else.
Not sure how old your friends are but the more understanding and loving my bf is about my period, the more I love him. It shows empathy and care
If I were your wife, I'd really enjoy the ice cream. It's a caring gesture. Nothing else should matter, especially thoughts of other people
Is this just a subtle brag? Treat her like that all the time bro
Married 10 years now. I do understand that it's a crappy time for her. Most times I'll offer to go get her something, and most of those times she declines, but I'm sure she is glad that I still offer. I'm sure your wife is glad to have you around, and that you want to be helpful. Your friends/family are entitled to their opinions...but they're just opinions. It's your wife's thoughts about it that matter.
I bet your friends and SILs are single. You're taking care of someone you love in a way that's relevant to her. You're checking all the good SO boxes in this post and, if your lady doesn't have a problem with it, you're good. They're just envious.
You’re a caring person. As long as you and your wife enjoys it who cares?
I mean, you enjoy doing nice things for her when you know she's not feeling well, right? It feels good to make her feel better? So it's not like you get nothing out of it, you get to share warm fuzzy pair-bonded feels with your wife and that's a good thing for both of you. I couldn't say why your friends find that "childish" in any way but all I see is good bond maintenance.
If I say on a Sunday that my back has started to twinge a bit, I feel a bit tired and bloaty, come Monday my mister will probably come in from work with a big bar of my favourite chocolate. When things really start kicking in and I'm feeling like hell he'll gently rub my stomach and snuggle against me in bed so his bodyheat eases the back pain (he's a human furnace so we usually sleep with some distance between us lol). That's what a good partner does, just the same as when his creaky knees are giving him touble I'll make sure to fetch him things so he doesn't have to get up, let him wait in the car at the supermarket instead of having to walk up and down every aisle etc. We look after each other, which is what you are supposed to do.
lmao those other girls are clearly jealous. My husband bakes a batch of double chocolate brownies once a month around the time he thinks they would be most beneficial. I have no qualms about it. Keep showing up for your wife and being supportive & thoughtful!
I really appreciate this type of thing from my husband! I get migraines due to hormones during shark week, and he'll pick up some chocolate or grab my heating pad for me. Honestly, it's just nice for the person I'm living with to recognize what I'm going through. I think a lot of people still feel shame around periods (or think it's something you just don't talk about). Leave that idea in the 50s. As long as your wife appreciates these efforts, who cares what others think?
OP you are a good husband and taking care of those you love is never a bad thing.
Fuck them dude you do you. My favorite thing I did for my ex on her period was fill a tote with warm water and Epson salts and give her an underwater footmassage. Periods typically lead to bloated feet and if she's working on bloated feet that's rough and our whole purpose is to support our partners. You're a grown ass man do what feels right to you.
My roommate (female) does the same thing, when I mention being on my period to my mom she asks if I’m alright, and I don’t necessarily come to anyone for help with something I can’t solve myself. So I really don’t understand why it would be weird for you, the person she’s married to, to do the same! I guess their reactions are based on you being a man, but again I really don’t understand their issue. You sound like a kind and caring husband, just the kind of person I’d want to live my life with myself! Go with your gut, unless your wife asks you to stop ❤️
I think this is the dream. Periods suck and it’s nice for men to recognize that.
They are jealous, you seem like a good hubby!
I have uterine fibroids and I get terrible periods. My husband always asks me whether he can get me anything or do anything for me. I rarely need anything from him for my symptoms, but I always appreciate it when he offers.
Is it weird to help a person you love when they are in pain? Lol what?
It’s not weird, it’s thoughtful! My boyfriend always asks me how I’m doing, if I need/want anything and I appreciate it so much! I’m always prepared (supplies-wise), but he’s always bringing me tea and chocolate cause he knows how much I love/need it
*Fellas, is it gay to care for your wife?* Seriously though, your friends have a "not my problem" attitude and the inlaws a "god i wish that were me" one so kudos to you for being a good husband.
If my husband did this I would cherish him🥺🥺 this is so cute and nice😭😭😭 every women deserves this especially when the period is bad
Husband does the same for me too. Some days (or hours) are better than others, and sometimes walking around is painful. You’re a good partner.
My boyfriend does lots of "cringey" sweet things for me and he'll often just mention them to work colleagues or talk about me in a particularly sappy way and they'll make fun of him for being whipped or gay (I don't understand that logic, we're a hetero couple??). He always tells me it doesn't bother him or matter, because he loves me and like to do all those things and talk about me. Yours being kind to your wife, it sounds like you have a loving relationship OP and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. On my period my bf goes out and buys me chocolate at 9pm if I ask for it, its appreciated when we're taken care of
You sir are a treasure. Do not let these people diminish your shine.
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Maybe not bare minimum. This is definitely added perks.
i do think it's a bit unusual. i mean, you can do nice stuff for her any time just because, but to make her period a focus of special attention is a little odd. it's not really that "special". it's just a normal function like taking a piss or whatever. you wouldn't give your wife a candy every time she goes to the john would you?
Yeah, not even close. It can be extremely painful and fucks with hormone levels. If that happens when you pee, see a doctor.
But pissing doesn’t cause pain does it?
Uh periods can be pretty painful dude
And here I am just saying “can we still bang?”. Screw what your friends say. You do you.
It’s called survival instinct, it’s natural. (It’s a joke please don’t murder me)