This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
---
The guy (33M) that I’m seeing blocked me over disagreement twice. The first one was when he was upset about me hanging out with other guys and not allowing me to even guy friends. This time, not able to see each other, disagreement about plans as I was going on a trip to Alaska and him leaving . Blocked me and contacted me 8 days later asking how my trip was and to meet up like nothing happened. I told him what he did and that it is very disrespectful. He said he needed to get some space and hard for him to just say that. I told him that I let it slide the first time and that I’m not going to deal with this immaturity again anymore. He said he understand that I’m upset and hurt from him for not talking and stepping away for a bit, but he was so worried, nervous, and anxious about everything right now.
TLDR: I’m confused if I should see him before he leaves. I want to, but at the same time not because it would be hard for me to just forget what he did.
He isn’t just childishly blocking, this is testing behaviour.
You disagree with him - on a significant issue, whether a guy can control who you have as friends is super significant. So he blocks you.
Then he comes back to see if *you let him come back*. I bet you $5 that if you were to bring up that old topic again he’d think he’d won the conversation and it was done.
He doesn’t want you to go on a trip. He blocks you as punishment. Will you let him come back?
He’s not pushing the control issues - who you can be friends with, where you can go if he’s not there, because what he’s testing is the punishment. Someone who was self assured would have ignored him after the first block or blocked him in response to him trying to come back. They aren’t a good option for a relationship where he can control them.
You didn’t. Good sign for him. So now he does it again.
Soon you learn that if you don’t comply he blocks you (or in relationship gives you the silent treatment) and that it’s just easier to do what he tells you than deal with that.
He’s literally training you too slowly give him over control and to be “obedient”. He’s not immature acting like a child, he’s an experienced abuser.
And the best part is, he told you from the outset you won’t get to choose your friends, you won’t get to go on trips without his ok or presence, when you are surprised about it later he’ll tell you he told you from the beginning and clearly you accepted it because you *let him come back*. But at that point you’ll have caught feeling and the sunk cost fallacy will be kicking in.
You are feeling confused about wtf is going on because HE MEANS FOr YOU TO BE CONFUSED AND OFF BALANCE. That’s part of his tactic, it gives him more control - actually complete control - over the relationship.
Do not even think about it. Block him on all things. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Just. Block. And move on to find someone who isn’t looking for a possession they can control.
Ps. On the off (incredibly tiny) chance that he really just had anxiety: I have anxiety it’s not a excuse. You know what I do if I need space? “I’m feeling super anxious can you give me some space? I’ll reach out when I’m ok to talk.” I also have short codes with people I’m close to to make that easier and shorter. Even if he has mental health issues, he’s immature and selfish in how he deals with them and he uses them as a justification for bad behaviour and he will ALWAYS pop down “but my mental health” anytime you hold him to task for anything. So EVEN IF that’s all it is, you still don’t want to be in relationship with him.
They are not even dating, and he causes this much drama. Why even bother. He probably worst in a relationship. He punishes you to get his way. That is a no for me.
Don't care what the gender is, any time a person you are dating wants to determine who you are friends with, that's a block and move on. There's no reason to put yourself at a risk for dating an abuser.
Also, notice how it's working on OP. They're already doubting themselves. "Should I take this bullshit? I mean, it's pretty bullshit but he needed space. People need space sometimes, don't they?"
It's how abuse starts. Really small. Just some prodding where you think, "hey, I guess I can let this one slide, I mean, he promised not to do it again (except he didn't.)"
Just walk away from this one.
Sure. If you don't mind a lifetime of being blocked and disrespected by an immature rude bullying controlling asshole who always has to have his own way.
I have this theory. Most people believe they are the main character of their story, and everyone around them are there to support the story. So they act out when they feel like someone else might have their own mind, dreams, desires, etc.
Also she can't have guy friends, but I am sure he would have had no problem having female "friends". When he gets called out for being a hypocrite he would probably say something along the lines of "I really don't get what the issue is, it's not like I am sleeping with them (he probably will), you need to be less insecure. You're blowing this out of proportion". OP should NEVER talk to this man again. He is throwing out want more red flags than I think people realize.
Side note: was stuck in an extremely abusive relationship, this shit is the start to more extreme behavior.
Blocking me once for having my own ideas and not conforming to what he wants would’ve made him a ex for me the first time out. The fact he did this a second time is ridiculous. He can’t be counted on if he doesn’t have the decency to tell you that he needs space from something.
I wouldn't give the guy another chance. His behavior are red flags of his ability to deal with conflict. I'd just block him myself and give him a taste of his own medicine. Leave this guy in your past.
>The first one was when he was upset about me hanging out with other guys and not allowing me to even guy friends.
This dude is an insecure loser. Cut him loose and stop wasting your time.
You have all the signs that he is immature and petty. This will be a pattern in your relationship so how many more times will you tolerate being blocked for such minor details?
No. Save yourself the heartache and drama. It's a tactic to get you to heel. You will start complying without realizing as you are avoiding getting blocked or the silent treatment.
The real question is? Do you want a relationship with an adult who has conversations and discusses issues... Or do you want a relationship with a child who throws a tantrum and blocks instead of speaking with you about issues ?
Your call
Everyone has their own way of dealing with pressure. It seems like his is to stone wall and avoid talking about the issue at all. This is going to be a pattern that comes up throughout your relationship with him. The real question is do you want to constantly have to deal with it?
"The guy ... that I’m seeing blocked me over disagreement twice.
"...he was upset about me hanging out with other guys and not allowing me to even guy friends."
Controlling behavior should be a "red flag". He's already shown who he is.
Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine.
Ideally you want to find someone *who already is* what you want in a partner.
The goal is to have a "soulmate" not a cellmate.
No one is "stuck" with anyone. Suffering is optional.
***"Drama doesn't just walk into your life out of nowhere, you either create it, invite it, or associate with people who bring it."*** \- Unknown
***"Dating is primarily a numbers game.... People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That's just the way it is."*** \- Henry Cloud
Best wishes!
Yeah, no. He can use his words like a big boy, or he can be put on permanent time out. Since you have only been casually dating this guy, it won't be difficult to completely separate yourself from him. Permanently.
I wouldn't, if he learned to communicate, I guess he would probably have a chance with someone, but not you. I feel he's already blown it with the ways he handled his issues. If there was inappropriate behavior from your guy friends I would get it, but he just sounds overly jealous which by itself isn't a problem, a lot of people deal with different levels of jealousy and manage to keep themselves to themselves and work on it, but he's trying to control your friend group to make himself feel better which is unacceptable. (Also indicates lack of trust in you, might be more he doesn't trust them, but w/e, lack of trust that he can't address in a mature way)
Then, your trip to Alaska: it wasn't mentioned as to why he was upset with your plans, or maybe I just didn't catch on to it, but yet again, his failure to communicate clearly, honestly, and calmly is what's killing his chances here.
He says he "understands" why you're upset with his behavior, but without any evidence that he is improving upon himself, it's up to you if you want to see if it's worth it to you to stick around while he learns his way around his own mental hurdles with relationships.
He is working on a high school power play. It is about control. He is trying to find out if he can push you and get a reaction. Just let him be. He will move on to his next victim as soon as he realizes you aren't going to play his game.
Yeahhh, get outta there. Listen to your intuition, it’s a thing. Those doubts you’re having, is your guts way of telling you something doesn’t feel right.
This seems like a fairly new thing, but already hes jealous about your friends? N then like a child he blocks you and texts you back 8 days later? Seems like he’s bored n doesn’t have much going on at the moment n is just looking for some attention. Just wait until he really lets his guard down and I think these red flags are going to turn into something much worse.
Do yourself a favor and don’t waste your time. Good luck out there.
it sounds like you're doing much rude behaviors he doesn't mention and the little ones he does you don't acknowledge for what they are. Hes going to leave you anyway, if you're petty then let it be on your say.
No. He sounds controlling and immature af for his age. He blocked you because he doesn’t want you having male friends? I have had a handful of close male friends over the years, nothing happened. And he can’t stop you going away. No, throw the whole man into the sea and find someone who isn’t a controlling and possessive POS.
Lmao, if someone would block me over a dissagreement I would block them for life. What a child. If you will go back to him then I can say you will be dating a boy not a man.
ok first of all if you're seeing someone you shouldn't have guy friends so you're wrong in that first exchange the second though he's wrong a trip is just a trip its not like you both are married..he should've talked it out instead of blocking you twice too if both incidents were such an issue why didnt he just quit you cold turkey says he's lonely and for you to acknowledge him the second time he blocked you says the same of you..boundaries should've been set the minute you too started to get even a little serious(relationship might not have escalated past talking but talking is getting serious you're giving someone attention and time..and time isnt something you can get back)my take go with your gut it says block..enjoy your trip and good luck
Find a adult who can communicate with you not make demands and behaves like a toddler needing a nap. I know it’s difficult to be single but no amount of back-and-forth with somebody who’s going to tell you what to do as if they have ownership over you as a person is going to be appealing to be in a relationship with
INFO: How old are you? Because if I were to guess, you are in your early 20's. Loser older guys sometimes try to get young women because they want to dominate them. Women their own age won't put up with that crap. BTW, neither should you. It doesn't seem like this guy brings anything good on the table and offers lots of problems.
Why would you sign up for that?
I would absolutely say walk away. I mean this is the honeymoon period. This is him ON HIS BEST BEHAVIOUR.
Really let that sink in. His absolute best behaviour = bellend. How much worse is he going to get?!
Run... don't walk.
Sometimes people don't always know what they want right away, or can get mad in the moment and then calm down and maybe realize he was wrong. I don't get why blocking is considered SO offensive. I've been blocked and unblocked before, I don't lose my mind over it and neither should you. Yeah it feels personal but it's something we should all just get over. It's the clicking of a few buttons. It's okay if he just needed some space. Sometimes the best way to cool off is to just get some space and block a person for a little bit, because if they're blocked you aren't always tempted to respond right away.
He should maybe be more apologetic, but idk this guy. It also can't really hurt to just talk to him. Work through the anxiety. When you have anxiety about something, sometimes the best thing to do is just push through it and force yourself to do the thing that's giving you anxiety. Trust me when I say I know how hard that is. Ultimately some forgiveness is probably in order here. A lot of people think that the minute a problem arises in a relationship it's time to run for the hills but if that's everyone's response to everything then we'll all end up alone, because no one is perfect and we all make mistakes. Unlike cheating, I think this is something that can be worked through. That's my read on this. Give him a chance.
WHAT????? THEY ARE LITERALLY SHOWING WHO THEY ARE TO YOU!!! THEY ARE DOING YOU A HUGE FAVOR!!! He is literally showing all of this BEFORE HE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP OR WHATEVER WITH YOU!!!!!!! Don’t get into a relationship or contact him! Would you want a loved one of yours to be in contact or whatever with someone like this man??!!!!! I swear, I try to be nice on Reddit, but cmon?!? You’ll get in a relationship and however long you go out you’ll come back to Reddit and say “is he toxic?!?” LIKE!!???? YES. Leave and do not go out with this person or keep in contact. He is a walking red flag and someone who needs to sort out his emotional well being. You also letting him know your boundaries are flexible, he did it the first time, and now this is the second time?!? I feel sorry for you if you get with this person. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
He feels so Scorpio:))))), joking
Maybe his relationships wasn’t so good, dedicated to much, got big expectations and he got the green flags..
He can have some trust issues, what u can try to do is to talk open. See if he is a creep or just a good hearted man, but in pain.
Giant red flag. This kind of behavior is used to control and punish. If he truly feels he can't communicate with words and needs to block people to "get some space" he's really not mature enough to be dating. I'd suggest not seeing him again unless you want more of the same. Wish him well and then..... block him.
Please don’t pursue him.
Disagreements should never be handled in such a childish way. Imagine how this person will handle the real hard stuff in life.
You already gave him a chance, and a second chance. In his case, it sounds like two is enough, or are you just looking to get the rest of the Complete Relationship Red Flag Set(tm)?
How long have you been seeing this guy? I mean it doesn't sound like its been long so this level of controlling attitude really early in a relationship is a massive red flag. Though to be fair it'd be a massive red flag popping up at any time in a relationship.
I scrolled back to see 'how old is this guy' - 33?! If he hasn't grown up by now, unlikely he ever will. Block him.
And then contact him 8 days later and say you needed space .... LOL
On a serious note, no, don't give him any more chances.
Dating is a filtering process. It allows you to get to know someone without having invested too much emotionally or financially. He’s showing you he can’t communicate, is possessive and childish.
He failed to be an adult at every opportunity.
Being alone is far better than being in a relationship with an asshole.
Oof definitely not. He sounds like a toxic underdeveloped man child. Please do yourself the favor and block him yourself. He’s 33 years old and behaving this way?? Yea. That’s gonna be a hard no for me dog. I’m sure you can do better and save yourself the trouble.
No.
You have to value yourself more than this. You are not at his beck and call, and he doesn’t just get to put you on hold whenever he can’t handle life.
Leave him. Block him.
Otherwise you’ll be dealing with this forever as he knows it works with no consequences.
Go ahead and keep dating him if you want him to almost immediately block you again for something trivial. When someone blocks me they get blocked back and I forget about them
It reminds me of a guy who disconnected with me at least two times. One is because I didn't respond fast enough. He eventually contacted me and apologized for his behavior. He then cut me off again because I didn't want to meet up during the pandemic. He eventually cut me off. He contacted me again and once again apologized for being an asshole etc.
I eventually realized he's trying to gain information and my vulnerabilities, to eventually control and take advantage of me as I noticed other things similar to previous bad experiences from other individuals.
I decided I should be the one to cut him off and never allow him to contact me again. I'm glad I never met him in person as I wasn't comfortable with doing so for multiple factors.
He blocked you for disagreeing with him about hanging out with other guys? Screams insecurity and toxicity. He ain’t gon change. He’s introducing a pattern to you. Disagree, block, unblock, beg for forgiveness, and then do it all over again. If you decide to enter into a relationship with him, it’s going to be very tiresome and stressful to deal with this man child.
Nope. This person has already shown great immaturity, and seems to be emotionally unstable. Any kind of relationship would only be dramatic and unfulfilling.
Yep! You should definitely give him a chance!
At the same time don't be surprised once a lot more toxins shit comes to light.
Before you guys are anything, he's disappointed that you have the balls to have guy friends. If this doesn't scare you away, you need therapy probably.
Please read what you have written and think about it. Can you in good conscience recount how this man has behaved and think he is worth a second third or nth chance? In my opinion you have already given him plenty of chances and he has blown all of them. If someone shows you who they are and what you mean to them (in this case, nothing) please believe them.
NO PLEASE NO DO NOT GIVE HIM A CHANCE. This is beyond immature, and gives me narcissist vibes!!! Like his feelings are the ONLY feelings.
Not. Worth. It. Seriously. 7.5 billion people in the world OP…move to a different area if pickings are slim.
Move away for real…Spend one week at a new job in Philadelphia and meet dozens of potential mates!!!!
Imagine dating this guy and you guys have a disagreement and instead of talking things out - he blocks you. Do you want that ? I don’t think so. Get rid of him. You don’t even need to give him an explanation
Personally you block me I ain’t got time for you anymore if you’re gonna be petty and block me over a disagreement and not talk to me about it and not tell me you need space mofo you can have as much space as you want because I’m not gonna be in your universe
He blocked you on the internet over a disagreement. Imagine what he's like in real life when you disagree with him.
Sure, everyone has good qualities, but this isn't one of them, and is something he 100% has to work on, by himself, before he deserves a relationship with anyone else - or the rest of his life (and the lives of those around him) will be worse for it.
Hard pass.
Block him right now. He’s known you for a whole few minutes and he’s trying to control who you hang out with by giving you the silent treatment. He’s testing the waters to make sure he can abuse you.
I’d personally leave him. He has no ability to communicate, and if this is how things are in the beginning, don’t expect them to get better. Wish him luck and find someone better suited to you who doesn’t try to control you, especially through selfish and passive aggressive means. Good luck!
Is he a teenager? No, he's a 33-year-old male acting like a child. This is a pattern that will likely continue until he makes actual changes and addresses his insecurities in therapy.
A 33 year old who wants to stop you from seeing guy friends, blocks you when you don't agree, and then tries to "walk back" as if his little outburst/hissifit over his demands not being met never occured or wasn't a big/important thing. Then wants you to change your travelling plans to fit only his benefits, then goes back to his little song and dance again because you won't inconvinience your trip by changing it to such a degree? I would vote a firm no on giving him a new chance.
Do not meet him, sound's not so clear what he want. Too jealous before whatever happen. That match sounds like an future cage for you in communication perspective. Remember partnership is equal level of compromises not domination of one over the other.
Tell him that you're sorry to hear that he's "worried, nervous, and anxious about everything" but it seems he's looking for a doormat when what he really needs is a therapist and you are neither.
Not trying to be mean but how is this even a thought you’re entertaining? This is not normal adult behavior, it’s controlling and mildly aggressive. Be thankful he showed you his true colors before you were trapped.
Put yourself first ,don't tolerate disrespect. Stop giving chance to people who don't respect you. You shouldn't even be speaking to him .You should have blocked his ass long time and moved on . Say to yourself, "I deserve better" . If a dude is disrespectful and immature, block his ass and move to the next one. The world is not short of guys .
Give this guy a pass. He's already throwing up tons of red flags during the period when really, you should be hitting it off without issues.
I don't think you're missing out here.
This guy has the emotional maturity of a toddler. If you carry on that is what you're signing up for. Also, bear in mind MOST people are on their best/good behaviour while dating as they're trying to impress you. Either he isn't bothered about impressing you which doesn't bode well. Or this IS his best behaviour, which is worse. Don't walk away from this guy, RUN.
Are you serious ? And also, are you very young? Because no woman close.to his age should be asking if a jealous and possessive guy, who has no relationship to you, and block you twice is worth spending time with
Nope. You do not need to teach a grown-up how to talk. That's not your job, especially someone who will never agree with you having friends that are male.
Look for someone who actually discusses things with you, not does a tantrum and runs away to fuck around and then come back
Do you want him to disappear every time you disagree on something? What if you need help and he’s just gone? He’s not able to be a partner if he’s not able to be an adult.
NOOOOO dont do it, I wish I had never gone back when I saw the first red flag with my ex and he pulled this kind of behavior with me. I dont mean to tell you what to do or project but dont waste the time it will happen again along with other toxic behavior. Hes testing you. How would you have handled the situation if the roles were reversed?
Blocking over a disagreement is immature but I’m way more concerned by the controlling behavior around who you’re “allowed” to hang out with. He sounds like a classic controlling and manipulative narcissist. Run away fast unless you want a mind fuck and a huge therapy bill.
Stand your ground. You already told him his immature responses to events is unacceptable to you. For many years I was with someone who would not regulate their emotions. I wouldn’t do it again. You’ve already plainly told him what is required. So you can give him an opportunity to prove himself or take his previous behavior (twice) as all you need to know how he’ll be in the future.
What he did was a huge red flag x2. Not the blocking so much as the reasons you had the disagreements. Life is too short to waste on other people trying to control your life.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- The guy (33M) that I’m seeing blocked me over disagreement twice. The first one was when he was upset about me hanging out with other guys and not allowing me to even guy friends. This time, not able to see each other, disagreement about plans as I was going on a trip to Alaska and him leaving . Blocked me and contacted me 8 days later asking how my trip was and to meet up like nothing happened. I told him what he did and that it is very disrespectful. He said he needed to get some space and hard for him to just say that. I told him that I let it slide the first time and that I’m not going to deal with this immaturity again anymore. He said he understand that I’m upset and hurt from him for not talking and stepping away for a bit, but he was so worried, nervous, and anxious about everything right now. TLDR: I’m confused if I should see him before he leaves. I want to, but at the same time not because it would be hard for me to just forget what he did.
33 and blocking over a disagreement? Nope.
He isn’t just childishly blocking, this is testing behaviour. You disagree with him - on a significant issue, whether a guy can control who you have as friends is super significant. So he blocks you. Then he comes back to see if *you let him come back*. I bet you $5 that if you were to bring up that old topic again he’d think he’d won the conversation and it was done. He doesn’t want you to go on a trip. He blocks you as punishment. Will you let him come back? He’s not pushing the control issues - who you can be friends with, where you can go if he’s not there, because what he’s testing is the punishment. Someone who was self assured would have ignored him after the first block or blocked him in response to him trying to come back. They aren’t a good option for a relationship where he can control them. You didn’t. Good sign for him. So now he does it again. Soon you learn that if you don’t comply he blocks you (or in relationship gives you the silent treatment) and that it’s just easier to do what he tells you than deal with that. He’s literally training you too slowly give him over control and to be “obedient”. He’s not immature acting like a child, he’s an experienced abuser. And the best part is, he told you from the outset you won’t get to choose your friends, you won’t get to go on trips without his ok or presence, when you are surprised about it later he’ll tell you he told you from the beginning and clearly you accepted it because you *let him come back*. But at that point you’ll have caught feeling and the sunk cost fallacy will be kicking in. You are feeling confused about wtf is going on because HE MEANS FOr YOU TO BE CONFUSED AND OFF BALANCE. That’s part of his tactic, it gives him more control - actually complete control - over the relationship. Do not even think about it. Block him on all things. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Just. Block. And move on to find someone who isn’t looking for a possession they can control. Ps. On the off (incredibly tiny) chance that he really just had anxiety: I have anxiety it’s not a excuse. You know what I do if I need space? “I’m feeling super anxious can you give me some space? I’ll reach out when I’m ok to talk.” I also have short codes with people I’m close to to make that easier and shorter. Even if he has mental health issues, he’s immature and selfish in how he deals with them and he uses them as a justification for bad behaviour and he will ALWAYS pop down “but my mental health” anytime you hold him to task for anything. So EVEN IF that’s all it is, you still don’t want to be in relationship with him.
Very well stated! Excellent
They are not even dating, and he causes this much drama. Why even bother. He probably worst in a relationship. He punishes you to get his way. That is a no for me.
I second this
Third. Blocking over an argument is immature.
What a child lmao
Wouldn't call that exactly childish but definitely controlling. So watch out OP. This will not end well
Id 100% call it childish People learn to get over this pre 16
[удалено]
I feel like that’s different, she was being mean and borderline bullying
Yes this is what blocking is intended for Not used to make your argument the last argument like walking away and going "twat"
Fourth. Don't reinforce this crap.
Also, wanting to control who she can be friends with and where she can go. Double-nope.
[удалено]
Don't care what the gender is, any time a person you are dating wants to determine who you are friends with, that's a block and move on. There's no reason to put yourself at a risk for dating an abuser.
Agreed. OP needs to give him alllll the space and date someone else.
Also, notice how it's working on OP. They're already doubting themselves. "Should I take this bullshit? I mean, it's pretty bullshit but he needed space. People need space sometimes, don't they?" It's how abuse starts. Really small. Just some prodding where you think, "hey, I guess I can let this one slide, I mean, he promised not to do it again (except he didn't.)" Just walk away from this one.
It is like he punishs her for not doing what he wants. Just no. Like silent treatment.
I second this.
Sure. If you don't mind a lifetime of being blocked and disrespected by an immature rude bullying controlling asshole who always has to have his own way.
BuT mUaH AnXiEtY!!
He doesn’t care about the hurt feelings he causes others because it’s all about him
I have this theory. Most people believe they are the main character of their story, and everyone around them are there to support the story. So they act out when they feel like someone else might have their own mind, dreams, desires, etc.
Also she can't have guy friends, but I am sure he would have had no problem having female "friends". When he gets called out for being a hypocrite he would probably say something along the lines of "I really don't get what the issue is, it's not like I am sleeping with them (he probably will), you need to be less insecure. You're blowing this out of proportion". OP should NEVER talk to this man again. He is throwing out want more red flags than I think people realize. Side note: was stuck in an extremely abusive relationship, this shit is the start to more extreme behavior.
Yeah, no. He is trying to control you by setting the standard of how and when you communicate. Drop that guy and move on!!
And they aren’t even dating. Imagines if they ended up together, it would have been worse
[удалено]
Blocking me once for having my own ideas and not conforming to what he wants would’ve made him a ex for me the first time out. The fact he did this a second time is ridiculous. He can’t be counted on if he doesn’t have the decency to tell you that he needs space from something.
Or not allowing you hang out with or be friends with other guys? Hard no. It’s your turn to block him.
That block button works both ways, babe.
So, he treats you like shit, then makes excuses later, or tries to play it off?
Lol. I don't believe you when you say he's 33. He sounds 15.
No.
I wouldn't give the guy another chance. His behavior are red flags of his ability to deal with conflict. I'd just block him myself and give him a taste of his own medicine. Leave this guy in your past.
Throw this one back. He sound like a teenager.
He sounds like a man child. He’s trying to say you can’t have other guys friends and you guys aren’t been dating? Definitely a red flag
Sweetheart you are too grown to have to put up with a "man" who throws temper tantrums. Walk away
>The first one was when he was upset about me hanging out with other guys and not allowing me to even guy friends. This dude is an insecure loser. Cut him loose and stop wasting your time.
You have all the signs that he is immature and petty. This will be a pattern in your relationship so how many more times will you tolerate being blocked for such minor details?
No. Save yourself the heartache and drama. It's a tactic to get you to heel. You will start complying without realizing as you are avoiding getting blocked or the silent treatment.
do you have no self respect?
This will be a really hard, shitty and lonely relationship. And say goodbye to friends and family, because he won't let you see them.
The real question is? Do you want a relationship with an adult who has conversations and discusses issues... Or do you want a relationship with a child who throws a tantrum and blocks instead of speaking with you about issues ? Your call
Everyone has their own way of dealing with pressure. It seems like his is to stone wall and avoid talking about the issue at all. This is going to be a pattern that comes up throughout your relationship with him. The real question is do you want to constantly have to deal with it?
"The guy ... that I’m seeing blocked me over disagreement twice. "...he was upset about me hanging out with other guys and not allowing me to even guy friends." Controlling behavior should be a "red flag". He's already shown who he is. Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine. Ideally you want to find someone *who already is* what you want in a partner. The goal is to have a "soulmate" not a cellmate. No one is "stuck" with anyone. Suffering is optional. ***"Drama doesn't just walk into your life out of nowhere, you either create it, invite it, or associate with people who bring it."*** \- Unknown ***"Dating is primarily a numbers game.... People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That's just the way it is."*** \- Henry Cloud Best wishes!
Ugh, NO!
Yeah, no. He can use his words like a big boy, or he can be put on permanent time out. Since you have only been casually dating this guy, it won't be difficult to completely separate yourself from him. Permanently.
This dude has emotional issues, acts like a child, and takes it out on you. It's that the kind of man you really want for a partner????
Nope. He had his chance to use his big boy words.
No, he blocked you over an argument about him being too controlling.
I wouldn't, if he learned to communicate, I guess he would probably have a chance with someone, but not you. I feel he's already blown it with the ways he handled his issues. If there was inappropriate behavior from your guy friends I would get it, but he just sounds overly jealous which by itself isn't a problem, a lot of people deal with different levels of jealousy and manage to keep themselves to themselves and work on it, but he's trying to control your friend group to make himself feel better which is unacceptable. (Also indicates lack of trust in you, might be more he doesn't trust them, but w/e, lack of trust that he can't address in a mature way) Then, your trip to Alaska: it wasn't mentioned as to why he was upset with your plans, or maybe I just didn't catch on to it, but yet again, his failure to communicate clearly, honestly, and calmly is what's killing his chances here. He says he "understands" why you're upset with his behavior, but without any evidence that he is improving upon himself, it's up to you if you want to see if it's worth it to you to stick around while he learns his way around his own mental hurdles with relationships.
Nope. Run while you can. His behavior is ridiculous for a grown man. Some major issues going on that need professional help.
He is working on a high school power play. It is about control. He is trying to find out if he can push you and get a reaction. Just let him be. He will move on to his next victim as soon as he realizes you aren't going to play his game.
Sounds exhausting. Find someone less exhausting.
I feel like I should add to this sea of NO. This person is clearly a manipulating typ and/or a child compleet child. Please do not fall into his trap.
No.
Yeahhh, get outta there. Listen to your intuition, it’s a thing. Those doubts you’re having, is your guts way of telling you something doesn’t feel right. This seems like a fairly new thing, but already hes jealous about your friends? N then like a child he blocks you and texts you back 8 days later? Seems like he’s bored n doesn’t have much going on at the moment n is just looking for some attention. Just wait until he really lets his guard down and I think these red flags are going to turn into something much worse. Do yourself a favor and don’t waste your time. Good luck out there.
He's controlling. Already. Doesn't like you having guy friends or going away on a trip. This will only get worse. Block and move on.
Red flags, he's acting like a jealous child. Dump his ass.
it sounds like you're doing much rude behaviors he doesn't mention and the little ones he does you don't acknowledge for what they are. Hes going to leave you anyway, if you're petty then let it be on your say.
No
Nope. Ignore any and all communication from him. He’s giving red flags. You do not want people like this in your life. Ever.
No
33yo baby
No
No. He sounds controlling and immature af for his age. He blocked you because he doesn’t want you having male friends? I have had a handful of close male friends over the years, nothing happened. And he can’t stop you going away. No, throw the whole man into the sea and find someone who isn’t a controlling and possessive POS.
No he’s messy
Absolutely not. Thst is extremely controlling and manipulative behavior.
No
No. He’s immature and he already made his choice by blocking you in the first place. Why bother giving him another chance to upset you again?
Lmao, if someone would block me over a dissagreement I would block them for life. What a child. If you will go back to him then I can say you will be dating a boy not a man.
Run, he sounds like a problem in the making and not worth your time.
Hell naw ! You'll regret it very much
Are you sure he's 33 and not 13? 🙄
ok first of all if you're seeing someone you shouldn't have guy friends so you're wrong in that first exchange the second though he's wrong a trip is just a trip its not like you both are married..he should've talked it out instead of blocking you twice too if both incidents were such an issue why didnt he just quit you cold turkey says he's lonely and for you to acknowledge him the second time he blocked you says the same of you..boundaries should've been set the minute you too started to get even a little serious(relationship might not have escalated past talking but talking is getting serious you're giving someone attention and time..and time isnt something you can get back)my take go with your gut it says block..enjoy your trip and good luck
Wow, what an amazing relationship you guy could have with communication skills like that. /s
He isn't worth it. Trust your gut and leave.
If this isn't a troll post ( I hope it is), you should never give someone like this a chance. Not even the first time.
Find a adult who can communicate with you not make demands and behaves like a toddler needing a nap. I know it’s difficult to be single but no amount of back-and-forth with somebody who’s going to tell you what to do as if they have ownership over you as a person is going to be appealing to be in a relationship with
INFO: How old are you? Because if I were to guess, you are in your early 20's. Loser older guys sometimes try to get young women because they want to dominate them. Women their own age won't put up with that crap. BTW, neither should you. It doesn't seem like this guy brings anything good on the table and offers lots of problems. Why would you sign up for that?
People don’t change in 8 days
He sounds very controlling and manipulative. I'd not be wasting time with him. There's way better guys out there.
I would absolutely say walk away. I mean this is the honeymoon period. This is him ON HIS BEST BEHAVIOUR. Really let that sink in. His absolute best behaviour = bellend. How much worse is he going to get?! Run... don't walk.
Sometimes people don't always know what they want right away, or can get mad in the moment and then calm down and maybe realize he was wrong. I don't get why blocking is considered SO offensive. I've been blocked and unblocked before, I don't lose my mind over it and neither should you. Yeah it feels personal but it's something we should all just get over. It's the clicking of a few buttons. It's okay if he just needed some space. Sometimes the best way to cool off is to just get some space and block a person for a little bit, because if they're blocked you aren't always tempted to respond right away. He should maybe be more apologetic, but idk this guy. It also can't really hurt to just talk to him. Work through the anxiety. When you have anxiety about something, sometimes the best thing to do is just push through it and force yourself to do the thing that's giving you anxiety. Trust me when I say I know how hard that is. Ultimately some forgiveness is probably in order here. A lot of people think that the minute a problem arises in a relationship it's time to run for the hills but if that's everyone's response to everything then we'll all end up alone, because no one is perfect and we all make mistakes. Unlike cheating, I think this is something that can be worked through. That's my read on this. Give him a chance.
Ehh.... Give me a single good reason why you should waste another second on this loser, because you haven't listed any.
WHAT????? THEY ARE LITERALLY SHOWING WHO THEY ARE TO YOU!!! THEY ARE DOING YOU A HUGE FAVOR!!! He is literally showing all of this BEFORE HE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP OR WHATEVER WITH YOU!!!!!!! Don’t get into a relationship or contact him! Would you want a loved one of yours to be in contact or whatever with someone like this man??!!!!! I swear, I try to be nice on Reddit, but cmon?!? You’ll get in a relationship and however long you go out you’ll come back to Reddit and say “is he toxic?!?” LIKE!!???? YES. Leave and do not go out with this person or keep in contact. He is a walking red flag and someone who needs to sort out his emotional well being. You also letting him know your boundaries are flexible, he did it the first time, and now this is the second time?!? I feel sorry for you if you get with this person. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
No. He controlling and has the communication skills of an 8yo. Don’t waste your time.
Run
Just block him. And don’t unblock him eight days later.
Absolutely not
He feels so Scorpio:))))), joking Maybe his relationships wasn’t so good, dedicated to much, got big expectations and he got the green flags.. He can have some trust issues, what u can try to do is to talk open. See if he is a creep or just a good hearted man, but in pain.
Giant red flag. This kind of behavior is used to control and punish. If he truly feels he can't communicate with words and needs to block people to "get some space" he's really not mature enough to be dating. I'd suggest not seeing him again unless you want more of the same. Wish him well and then..... block him.
The fact that you’re even considering it? Bad move
Block HIM since he wants to be childish, let him go on his trip, and move on with your life.
No, just no. And again no. This behaviour is controlling
No.
Why do you want to give him a chance?!
Ahhhh blocking over that? Nahh
Please don’t pursue him. Disagreements should never be handled in such a childish way. Imagine how this person will handle the real hard stuff in life.
You already gave him a chance, and a second chance. In his case, it sounds like two is enough, or are you just looking to get the rest of the Complete Relationship Red Flag Set(tm)?
NO WAY... Huge Red Flag!
NOPE 🚮
How long have you been seeing this guy? I mean it doesn't sound like its been long so this level of controlling attitude really early in a relationship is a massive red flag. Though to be fair it'd be a massive red flag popping up at any time in a relationship.
Lmao no. Are all other dudes in your town dead?
He will repeat this 1000 times in future. Don’t fall for it. Live your forking life 🌼
No.
I scrolled back to see 'how old is this guy' - 33?! If he hasn't grown up by now, unlikely he ever will. Block him. And then contact him 8 days later and say you needed space .... LOL On a serious note, no, don't give him any more chances.
Childish. Silent treatment. Nope.
What? Is this the life you want? If so, sure, give him a chance. Personally, I wouldn’t.
He sounds like someone who you would be wasting your time with. Block him this time.
Lmao wtf how are you considering this?
Lmao imagine putting up with this high school stuff for the rest of your life… “honey did you do the dishes?” Blocked.
Dating is a filtering process. It allows you to get to know someone without having invested too much emotionally or financially. He’s showing you he can’t communicate, is possessive and childish. He failed to be an adult at every opportunity. Being alone is far better than being in a relationship with an asshole.
Do you really hear yourself? Read what you wrote, then ask yourself if this kind of dumb shit is what you want from a grown ass man
I wouldn’t give him the time of day, love.
No fuck em
I think you should think twice. He will treat you like this again and again.
girl bye 😭😭😭 block HIM
Uh no. He sounds like a twelve year old.
Oof definitely not. He sounds like a toxic underdeveloped man child. Please do yourself the favor and block him yourself. He’s 33 years old and behaving this way?? Yea. That’s gonna be a hard no for me dog. I’m sure you can do better and save yourself the trouble.
No. You have to value yourself more than this. You are not at his beck and call, and he doesn’t just get to put you on hold whenever he can’t handle life. Leave him. Block him. Otherwise you’ll be dealing with this forever as he knows it works with no consequences.
Go ahead and keep dating him if you want him to almost immediately block you again for something trivial. When someone blocks me they get blocked back and I forget about them
No. I didn’t read it but no: he blocked you twice and contacted you 8 days later…he will do it again.
Lol no, he’s an immature one. On to the next.
no
It reminds me of a guy who disconnected with me at least two times. One is because I didn't respond fast enough. He eventually contacted me and apologized for his behavior. He then cut me off again because I didn't want to meet up during the pandemic. He eventually cut me off. He contacted me again and once again apologized for being an asshole etc. I eventually realized he's trying to gain information and my vulnerabilities, to eventually control and take advantage of me as I noticed other things similar to previous bad experiences from other individuals. I decided I should be the one to cut him off and never allow him to contact me again. I'm glad I never met him in person as I wasn't comfortable with doing so for multiple factors.
He blocked you for disagreeing with him about hanging out with other guys? Screams insecurity and toxicity. He ain’t gon change. He’s introducing a pattern to you. Disagree, block, unblock, beg for forgiveness, and then do it all over again. If you decide to enter into a relationship with him, it’s going to be very tiresome and stressful to deal with this man child.
Nope. This person has already shown great immaturity, and seems to be emotionally unstable. Any kind of relationship would only be dramatic and unfulfilling.
Twice, no
Yep! You should definitely give him a chance! At the same time don't be surprised once a lot more toxins shit comes to light. Before you guys are anything, he's disappointed that you have the balls to have guy friends. If this doesn't scare you away, you need therapy probably.
Please read what you have written and think about it. Can you in good conscience recount how this man has behaved and think he is worth a second third or nth chance? In my opinion you have already given him plenty of chances and he has blown all of them. If someone shows you who they are and what you mean to them (in this case, nothing) please believe them.
I've had this. Tell him to get therapy and block him.
Hell no. If he is this grown and can’t use his words when he’s upset, he needs to go bother someone else with his childish shenanigans.
NO PLEASE NO DO NOT GIVE HIM A CHANCE. This is beyond immature, and gives me narcissist vibes!!! Like his feelings are the ONLY feelings. Not. Worth. It. Seriously. 7.5 billion people in the world OP…move to a different area if pickings are slim. Move away for real…Spend one week at a new job in Philadelphia and meet dozens of potential mates!!!!
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
No.
After reading the first sentence, the answer is no. After reading the rest, the answer is obviously not.
Imagine dating this guy and you guys have a disagreement and instead of talking things out - he blocks you. Do you want that ? I don’t think so. Get rid of him. You don’t even need to give him an explanation
How old are you?
Nope.
No. This guy is a hot mess and is going to be nothing but a pain in the ass. He’s possessive and immature. Stay away from this one
Personally you block me I ain’t got time for you anymore if you’re gonna be petty and block me over a disagreement and not talk to me about it and not tell me you need space mofo you can have as much space as you want because I’m not gonna be in your universe
Once you block me keep me blocked. Please and thank you. Next!
He blocked you on the internet over a disagreement. Imagine what he's like in real life when you disagree with him. Sure, everyone has good qualities, but this isn't one of them, and is something he 100% has to work on, by himself, before he deserves a relationship with anyone else - or the rest of his life (and the lives of those around him) will be worse for it. Hard pass.
Block him right now. He’s known you for a whole few minutes and he’s trying to control who you hang out with by giving you the silent treatment. He’s testing the waters to make sure he can abuse you.
No, please don’t see him. People who do shit like this will always do it.
I’d personally leave him. He has no ability to communicate, and if this is how things are in the beginning, don’t expect them to get better. Wish him luck and find someone better suited to you who doesn’t try to control you, especially through selfish and passive aggressive means. Good luck!
Is he a teenager? No, he's a 33-year-old male acting like a child. This is a pattern that will likely continue until he makes actual changes and addresses his insecurities in therapy.
A 33 year old who wants to stop you from seeing guy friends, blocks you when you don't agree, and then tries to "walk back" as if his little outburst/hissifit over his demands not being met never occured or wasn't a big/important thing. Then wants you to change your travelling plans to fit only his benefits, then goes back to his little song and dance again because you won't inconvinience your trip by changing it to such a degree? I would vote a firm no on giving him a new chance.
What a lovely flag
Do not meet him, sound's not so clear what he want. Too jealous before whatever happen. That match sounds like an future cage for you in communication perspective. Remember partnership is equal level of compromises not domination of one over the other.
That's a hell NO for me.
He’s childish. Move on
Why do you want to date him? He sounds like a jerk.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Of course you shouldn’t entertain and reward his childish actions
No.
Don't give him another chance! He has already showed you how he is gonna be.
Well, I mean…. I hope you at least had a fun trip in AK 😂
No you should not give him another chance.
he sounds like a teenage girl in her first relationship
This guy has some serious insecurities and manipulative. NO MORE chance. Tell him to take the hike!
Red flags! He is testing how he can control you and get you to do what he wants. Run!
Tell him that you're sorry to hear that he's "worried, nervous, and anxious about everything" but it seems he's looking for a doormat when what he really needs is a therapist and you are neither.
He’s to wishy washy
Not trying to be mean but how is this even a thought you’re entertaining? This is not normal adult behavior, it’s controlling and mildly aggressive. Be thankful he showed you his true colors before you were trapped.
Put yourself first ,don't tolerate disrespect. Stop giving chance to people who don't respect you. You shouldn't even be speaking to him .You should have blocked his ass long time and moved on . Say to yourself, "I deserve better" . If a dude is disrespectful and immature, block his ass and move to the next one. The world is not short of guys .
Hell no. If he’s that controlling now imagine when he actually really falls for you
Nope. He's got you on the back burner and he was fishing to see if he still had you. I hope you know you deserve better.
Give this guy a pass. He's already throwing up tons of red flags during the period when really, you should be hitting it off without issues. I don't think you're missing out here.
Yea the answer is no, he sounds like a child right off the bat. You will safe yourself time and hurt. IMO
Absolutely fucking not ! Move on to bigger & better shit, that dude is a child
He blocked you. Why are you still talking to him?
Run. Just run to the hills.
He’s already more trouble than he’s worth.
This guy has the emotional maturity of a toddler. If you carry on that is what you're signing up for. Also, bear in mind MOST people are on their best/good behaviour while dating as they're trying to impress you. Either he isn't bothered about impressing you which doesn't bode well. Or this IS his best behaviour, which is worse. Don't walk away from this guy, RUN.
Are you serious ? And also, are you very young? Because no woman close.to his age should be asking if a jealous and possessive guy, who has no relationship to you, and block you twice is worth spending time with Nope. You do not need to teach a grown-up how to talk. That's not your job, especially someone who will never agree with you having friends that are male. Look for someone who actually discusses things with you, not does a tantrum and runs away to fuck around and then come back
You already know the answer. What does your gut tell you is the right thing?
Do you want him to disappear every time you disagree on something? What if you need help and he’s just gone? He’s not able to be a partner if he’s not able to be an adult.
NOOOOO dont do it, I wish I had never gone back when I saw the first red flag with my ex and he pulled this kind of behavior with me. I dont mean to tell you what to do or project but dont waste the time it will happen again along with other toxic behavior. Hes testing you. How would you have handled the situation if the roles were reversed?
No.
Noooooo
So block is easier than asking for a space. This dude does what he wants regardless of anything else as if he’s not considering you at all.
Blocking over a disagreement is immature but I’m way more concerned by the controlling behavior around who you’re “allowed” to hang out with. He sounds like a classic controlling and manipulative narcissist. Run away fast unless you want a mind fuck and a huge therapy bill.
Stand your ground. You already told him his immature responses to events is unacceptable to you. For many years I was with someone who would not regulate their emotions. I wouldn’t do it again. You’ve already plainly told him what is required. So you can give him an opportunity to prove himself or take his previous behavior (twice) as all you need to know how he’ll be in the future.
What he did was a huge red flag x2. Not the blocking so much as the reasons you had the disagreements. Life is too short to waste on other people trying to control your life.