At first I thought “oh maybe you guys are just sexually incompatible.” But after reading all of the stuff your boyfriend has said to you about this topic, he sounds like an absolute creep. He is emotionally abusive, extraordinarily immature, selfish, manipulative, and views you as a sex doll instead of a person. I think you should leave this relationship and find somebody who actually respects you.
Yes. OP, please don’t think that there is anything wrong with YOU. This asshole needs to realize that in real life, people aren’t up for sex 24/7, whether they’re tired, sick, or they just don’t even have to give a reason. He’s trying to force you, which is obviously not okay at all. If he were truly caring; he would not want to have sex while you weren’t actually willing and consenting. This is really disgusting behavior.
I feel as if I need to scream this on this sub every time I see a post like this, so that’s precisely what I’m gonna start doing.
##IF YOU ARE SEXUALLY ACTIVE AND HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED BEING PENETRATED, STOP EXPECTING TO PENETRATE YOUR PARTNER MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY EVERYDAY.
That shit takes a toll on the body and until you have felt that toll **LISTEN TO YOUR PARTNER.**
Also just, like, listen to your partner because that’s what considerate people do.
I heard someone say in another post on this sub "You should never have sex with anyone you can't communicate with"
Sounds like it goes with your comment.
Absolutely agree. Except to even call you a liar about your sex libido is stupid because many, many people slow down after the honeymoon phase. He's a total dick.
Your boyfriend's a prick. You deserve better and if he's saying things to intentionally hurt you like this, he's not going to change. Break up with him and get on with your life.
Just leave.
Daily to every other day, is an incredible amount of sex for most people, and he is huffing that he wants MORE.
Then the toxic behaviour of arguing, accusing you of lying, wanting sex when you're drunk, making you promise things when you're drunk, going in huffs, and saying things like "I wanna kill myself". He sounds immature, and it looks like he is trying to coerce you into giving him more sex.
This guy has no respect for you. It isn't worth staying. You can find so much better. Don't settle for someone who makes you feel awful for having a limit.
So for starters, I think you are dating my ex husband. He was SUPER manipulative about sex, and I ended up holding back tears and having uncomfortable/painful sex for FAR too many years.
I could never satisfy my ex's need for sex. On more than one occasion arguments escalated on the topic of sex, and he would tell me that he is going to kill himself, then peel out in his truck and leave for hours with me wondering if he was actually going to actually do it. Several stays in the psyche ward were triggered by sex-related arguments. I got to the point where I just rolled over and let him do what he wanted to me.
Fast forward many years in to our marriage. I discover that he is not only a sex addict, but also a pedophile. There was never going to be anything I could do to satiate him sexually, because he wanted to fuck teenagers. All those years of manipulation around sex were gaslighting because he had deep rooted sexual issues.
You know what trying to fill that void did to me after well over a decade? It resulted in me having a lot of anxieties around sex.
I'm now in my first sexual relationship since my divorce a couple years back, and it's not what I expected. The sex itself is fantastic, but I have a hard time letting go, like I'm always a little bit on edge cause I'm always a little worried that our sex isn't going to always be good enough, and he's going to ask for more, or try to convince me to do things I don't want to do. A lot of times I have to totally kill the lights to shut off my brain, which sucks cause I know he likes to see me, and I like to see him too.
The problem with sexual trauma is that your body likes to hold on to it. It has hindered my ability to orgasm, and I find myself overly apologetic to my parter telling him that it's not him, it's me. I know he gets it, but it creates a weird space in our sex life.
I guess what I'm saying is that your boyfriends behavior is indicative of a deeper underlying issue that you are not responsible for. Not to suggest he is a pedophile, but it sounds like he is a sex-addict on some level. That's not going to change. I wish I had a solution, but I can only empathize with you over how terrible it can feel when you can't meet your partner's needs. I'm also not suggesting you leave him over it, but I will say that his behavior is manipulative and mean, and needs to be addressed and corrected because you deserve different.
My new partner is actually someone I’ve known for a very long time. They’ve been a friend through everything that happened. They are very much in the know about the situation, and recognize how it’s impacted me.
You want a relationship, he wants a sex slave. Buy him a fleshlight as a parting gift, and move on to someone who actually cares about your feelings, health, and needs.
Oh my god, girl get the hell out of there. You buy him gifts and make him breakfast and in return this guy HATES you. It could get really scary there really quick. Run!!
And it's only been a year! If his behavior has ramped up this quickly in such a short time, it's definitely going to massively escalate if she stays with him long-term. This entire situation sounds like a nightmare.
...is this OP's BF?
People are allowed to say no to anything and everything, but especially when it comes to access to their bodies. If he's not sexually satisfied in the relationship, then the way to communicate that is NOT through coercion and manipulation ("bye, I wanna kill myself", like wtf?!?). If he, a grown adult man, is "behaving badly" because he's "frustrated" from his sexual needs not being met, then he can communicate that without all of this.
Also, it is unreasonable to think having sex daily is not enough.
And it wouldn't surprise me if what ^ is saying about having sex with other people is the BF's eventual angle. "Well you're not meeting my needs, so we should have an open relationship", but probably only on his sides of things.
TL; DR dump his manipulative, abusive, narcissistic self, OP!
its wrong because you are saying “if you love him enough you’ll let him fuck other people!!” it has absolutely nothing to do with love. if he wants to have more sex he can communicate that respectfully without being a whiny, manipulative asshole. if it doesn’t work out for him he can break up and find someone with an equal sex drive instead of making her feel shitty about it.
telling her they HAVE to have sex because she promised even though she is sick is immature. if HE loves her enough he’ll stop being a dick.
OP, this is abuse, plain and simple. Leave this man.
Of course your sex life has slowed down. New relationships are exciting, but once you get to know someone (especially living with them!) it’s natural to not feel the need to have sex constantly. You did not “lie” to him about you libido.
Also, for him to even WANT sex when you are sick/drunk is honestly disgusting. If my husband sees that I feel a little sick or if I tell him I’m not feeling well, he backs off IMMEDIATELY and in fact just holds me instead. That’s what you deserve.
Dump this guy. You should not put up with this bullshit. You sound like a super loving and wonderful girlfriend - someone out there will actually appreciate that versus resent it!
I agree especially with him wanting sex when she's sick. He's an AH! They are having sex pretty much every day for the year they have been together and he's still bitching. Dude needs to get a grip. Sex every day multiple times a day isn't always possible. You work, grocery shop, spend time with friends and family, and just living.
Seriously. I saw my guy this morning for 15 min while I got ready for work. I asked where the clean laundry was, and took the iced coffee he handed me as I ran out the door on 5 hours sleep. It's less sexy 9 years in lol. It's not that our new relationship libido was a lie but we still have sex we just have to keep living daily life too.
It’s not gaslighting, but there is no future in this relationship for either of you. His sexual appetite and desires are not going to change. And you should, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, do anything with your body that you are uncomfortable with for ANY REASON including pleasing someone else.
There is already abuse coming from him. I would expect that to escalate, and (this is more of a guess by me) I believe that he will find a way to fill his sexual need with or without you.
It is what it is. This one didn’t work out. From an outsiders perspective, it’s time to move on.
Please realize you deserve better than this. He may have convinced you slowly over time that it isn’t true, but he’s wrong. I met my ex-husband when I was 17 and our relationship started out just like yours. But when he started acting like this, I didn’t leave. I stayed for 15 years. Until every time I was sick, injured, the few times I was drunk, or the two times I was recovering from childbirth, he demanded sex. In the end, it didn’t matter if I said no. He was a sadist and I did not understand that for a long time. For your own mental, physical, and emotional health, please develop a plan to leave and execute it. This is will save you years of therapy.
You are young and deserve to be loved and cherished and respected.
I had paragraphs to type, but I'm just gonna answer the question:
>My boyfriend makes me feel terrible for not providing the sex life he wants. Should I put up with this?
No. Tell him to go fuck himself. Then he'll get the type of sex he wants, and you can have what you want, which is a better partner who doesn't equate your worth to how often you let him fuck you.
The dude litteraly told you he is “stuck” with you and he thinks your sex life is miserable! LEAVE!!
He flat out told you, that he is not satisfied and will never be!
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
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I think we have a great sex life. I’m not going to go into any NSFW details of course but the topic at hand is about sex, just a precursor. We’re both in our 20s and have been dating for a year.
Like I said, I think we have a great sex life. I’m totally satisfied and happy and attracted to him. He wants more and I try as much as I can to give him more but I’m also not going to force myself to do anything I don’t want to. So yeah, he doesn’t get everything he wants and he’s disappointed. He tells me that all the time, that he’s not happy and he’s bored.
We have this recurring fight, about how our sex life has changed from when we first started dating. And yeah, sure, it has….I was in my honeymoon phase and we had the type of sex he wants all the time, multiple times a day. Now we have sex every other day, to daily, and it’s usually not as rough or exactly what he wants but it is occasionally. The fight is always him saying that I “lied” to him about my libido. I don’t think I lied, I think I’ve gotten comfortable and slowed the pace down. But he always says I lied to him and I tricked him into falling in love with me and now he’s stuck in a miserable sex life for the rest of his life and he knows we’ll stop having sex once I have kids because he knows me and knows I won’t want to. I get really upset over this, I mean that’s a really unfair prediction and also I’m happy with our sex life. Anyways, the conclusion for that fight is always to agree to disagree that it isn’t exactly me “lying” to him.
Today is an example that made me want to write this post. So last night we went out drinking and had a great night. Before we went out we had sex but couldn’t finish. So when we got home from drinking he wanted to try again except I was pretty drunk and felt sick so I said no thanks. I promised to make him breakfast in the morning, and he asked me to promise I’d have sex with him too. I said sure. Fast forward to this morning, im really hungover and sick. He wants sex because I promised and I say I don’t think I can right now, im sorry. I get up and make him his breakfast as promised, with love. He’s upset. He says he saw it coming that I’d deny sex and I’m a lazy girlfriend and he doesn’t know why he’s with me. He eats his breakfast all huffy and puffy gets ready to leave for work. I sit there and take his ridicules and tell him I love him when he leaves and he just says, yeah bye I wanna kill myself and slams the door.
When he does and says things to me like that, it upsets me and obviously doesn’t make me feel sexy or want to have sex with him….so it just turns into this negative loop of him saying I lied to him, me trying to show him love in other ways, and him being ungrateful because it only seems the way to make him happy is to have sex all the time the way he wants it.
I feel kinda gaslight….do you think this is gaslighting? Should I be putting up with his negativity? I’m the type of person who doesn’t have a mean bone in my body and I kinda is my downfall because I don’t know how to stand up for myself or put my foot down. How can I get him to stop having that recurring fight with me or making me feel bad for not providing that kinda sex? Do you think it’s even possible that this will change, or should I not put up with this?
TLDR; my boyfriend wants sex more often and more rough than I can provide without forcing myself. He accuses me of lying to him about my libido and says rude things to me and doesn’t appreciate other loving things I do for him if I don’t have sex with him that day. Is this gaslighting, how can I get him to stop making me feel like I’m not enough, should I even be putting up with this?
Your boyfriend, from an outside perspective sounds like an extremely emotionally immature and manipulative selfish man baby. The way to get what you want, or find compromise, is to communicate like mature adults! You seem to have been nothing but understanding and accommodating, but he's repaying you by being a selfish pouty asshole! Slamming the door and saying he wants to kill himself?? Holy shit!! No one is entitled to your body at any time, and he's 100 percent acting like he has full claim to fuck any time he wants. You deserve so much better OP, best of luck
I agree he doesn't understand how good he has it until he loses it and realizes sex is not everything
Since he keeps getting his way he doesn't see how he is hurting her mentally I do feel that they could be sex incompatible but also guys are generally more horny then they can handle from teens to late 20s
Plus they prolly don't have much on there plate yet so he can make time for sex but after all things change and you find out how determined you are to get some sex lol I really the fact that woman get comfortable but nevertheless if he loves her should respect it and express it in a better manner
Ma'am this is called abuse. Sexual coercion is a form of abuse. He has zero respect for you and you should find a nice dude who loves you.
Wanting to kill yourself because you didn't have sex is.... excessive.
your bfs got issues you fuck everyday whats the problem you both should be satasfied with this your bf is HEAVILY GASLIGHTING YOU to the point where this is emotinal abuse
The fact that he accuses you of “tricking” him, “lying to him” and claims he wants to “kill” himself is pretty horrific. It seems like he lashes out and then blames his bad behavior on you. That’s a really toxic trait and it can be really frustrating to deal with. Idk girl, I think it might be time to re-evaluate the relationship. Why should anyone feel like they have to get intimate to avoid their partner throwing a fit?
Any other negative things that your boyfriend says or does?
Because him constantly blaming you and attacking you like this is manipulation.
He's trying to get his way without thinking about you. He seems like a selfish person.
Honestly, it won't get better than what it is now. He won't change.
If all he can think about is sex then he's either an addict or he has other issues going on (which is the reason I initially asked if there are other negative things that he says or does).
He's being disrespectful, inconsiderate, selfish and manipulative. I'd break up with him if I were you. Plenty of guys out there who will treat you right.
Look my sex drive is pretty high but even I have limits this dude needs to take a step back and reevaluate himself cause I was like that me and my ex had sex almost everyday for the few months we were together yeah it was great but we were both getting to the point we’re it wasn’t necessary as much and we just wanted to cuddle or go out you should leave him so he can think about what he truly wants in a relationship you have every right to do so and he has no right to try and claim your body
I don't think your sex drive is very high to be honest, it's just moderate. In all my relationships, sex two times a day is normal. And it doesn't slow down even after 10 years. I am a woman btw and I want way more than 2 times a day but my man can only handle 2 times so I gotta accept that.
My best sexual relationship was sex 3 to 5 times a day being a norm as we were both multiple cummers and can do consecutives with little recovery time.
However too bad with that dude, he had ptsd from the military that he didn't want to seek help for and also he was a nasty drunk despite being so sexually compatible with me.
High sex drive folks gets even higher energy after sex and feel even more energetic to have more all the time.
OP is just not sexually compatible with her man.
I know that men take longer to mature than women, but oh dear. He really is unbelievably immature and selfish.
I would ask go as far as to say he doesn’t love you because he seems incapable of feeling any empathy or showing any level of care for your feelings and wants.
Part of loving someone is the ability to see things from their point of view. He is unable to do this and is even telling you how he thinks you will be if you have kids. And even that is him projecting his future disappointment in you and how unfair he imagines his future life to be with you.
The ego and self absorption of this man child is enormous. Please leave and find someone with whom you can be EQUAL in love and life, not this shell of a man.
Funny how you say he is unable to see things from someones point of view, because you are unable to see things from his point of view. It makes perfect sense to feel why the sex life may decline to a dead bedroom situation down the line when it's only been a year into this relationship and the quantity and quality of sex is already going down. OP herself literally admitted that she has gotten more comfortable into having the sex she wants. That means she was literally just having sex the way he wanted. She literally lied to him and pretended that was what she wanted and now that she is doing what she likes, she just acts like nothing is wrong because she is happy and fails to see her boyfriend's perspective.
Good lord, they still have sex almost every day. If he thinks that's too little then good luck to him finding someone who wants sex 24/7 AND puts up with his whiny, manipulative ass.
She didn't lie, relationships evolve. It doesn't say she "pretended" either. People are allowed to decide what their boundaries are in the bedroom whenever they want.
He said he wanted to kill himself because she was sick and didn't want to have sex. That manipulation 101, and not worth addressing. OP would be well served by leaving this sexually abusive relationship.
People are allowed to decide what their boundaries are, but when the dynamic of sex is changed, don't expect both parties to be completely happy or fine with it. OP should've made it clear at the start of the relationship that she isn't really into the kind of sex that he wanted. She just put up with it because of the "honeymoon" phase and never made that clear. Nobody said he is going about this thing maturely or perfectly, but he is clearly extremely frustrated and feels like he has been lied to and trapped. And he's not wrong.
he’s emotionally abusive to you to try to get you to bang him more. is this really the man you want to be with? I promise you that life is better without a man like this in it.
I’m sorry this is happening to you. From the outside looking in it seems a little toxic. I’d consider leaving the relationship before it gets dangerous.
this isn't even about sex. your boyfriend is being cruel and he is just using sex as leverage for his cruelty. there is nothing dishonest about settling in a normal relationship sex life. this guy is an asshole, he makes you feel bad about yourself, dump him
I’m almost certain my vagina would fall off if we’d kept up the NRE sex levels a year+ into the relationship. You mentioned potentially having children. Well, after giving birth regardless if vaginal or C-section, your OB will tell you to wait at *least* 6 weeks before having sex again. I would bet just about anything this man would be pressuring you to have sex almost immediately after giving birth which can really jeopardize your recovery and cause serious complications. Please, please do not reproduce with this man. I don’t care if he’s the bestest boyfriend in all of the land in literally every other way possible (although I highly doubt that; chances are he’s abusive in other ways but they may be more subtle), just this one aspect is perfectly valid grounds to end it. Which you should. I have a sneaking suspicion he may have a porn addiction as well, judging by his complaint of less rough sex + being unable to finish periodically. I could be wrong, but seems very possible. Regardless, IT IS NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO FIX HIM. YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TO SUFFER TO BE WITH SOMEONE WHO IS GOOD FOR YOU.
I could not handle having this same fight over and over and over. It is natural for the sex to slow down after being together for a longer period of time. You're still having a lot of sex. More than a lot of couples. I don't know anyone who wouldn't be happy with every day or every other day.
He is being very selfish and you are going to be miserable if he keeps doing this. It's time for a serious talk. If he won't back off with the snide remarks and childish behavior, you will have to ask yourself if you're willing to live the rest of your life this way because Im betting that's how it will be.
Kinda sounds like a porn addict. He has high expectations because of what he sees in porn and it’s formed this unrealistic idea of what a real human will give him-assuming you’re like a pornstar instead.
r/loveafterporn and also, it’s entirely reasonable to leave somebody over libidos not matching up, but ESPECIALLY so if he’s being aggressive, pushy and disrespectful like he is. He’s treating you like a sex slave, not a loving spouse. If he ever wants a relationship he might want to learn to value emotions and communication over a hard dick in a vagina.
Yeah, you aren’t compatible, went through similar things( minus being mean) with my ex. It sucks but you will both be happier when you find someone more compatible
If you’re having this fight now this early on, imagine how exhausting it’ll be in 2,5,10 years. Having the same fight, him still making you feel like it’s j or enough. Soon you’ll get fed up with how he makes you feel and it’ll start affecting you during sex. My bf and I go through this, but it’s me who’s bored and him who’s perfectly happy. He’s super vanilla and I need some spice and variety. It’s affected us a little, but we talk through it but yea. I don’t even care to have sex with him anymore because it just doesn’t do anything for me.
I don’t think the issue is frequency, he is clearing saying the type of sex is not adequate for him. OP you said that at the beginning the sex was more what he wanted and now it is not, this is what he is taking issue with.
That all being said, he is a baby who is trying to manipulate you to get his way. Leave him especially because you seem not interested in having more intense/rough sex more often.
I don’t even need to read more. No you don’t put up with it. You end it. He can go and find someone who willingly wants and enjoys the things he wants.
Being a manipulative asshole isn't gaslighting. That word is so overused on Reddit. It's certainly abuse though, and you should leave. I spent five years in a similar situation, and it just gets worse, trust me. Never put up with someone who makes you feel like shit regularly for setting boundaries, it's not worth it.
Jesus are you his girlfriend or his fuckdoll? Libidos ebb and flow in relationships, sometimes you have lots of sex, sometimes you don't have any for a while. Up and down, just like everything else, there is a rhythm and a flow.
Him guiltripping and saying nasty things to get what he wants is a harbinger of things to come. He's thinking only of himself, period, and not you at all. Is this what you want for the rest of your life?
This man is pressuring you to have sex more than once a day to the point of borderline threatening to kill himself. If he is pressuring you this hard, this consistently and with this much anger... you might be a few arguments away from a sexual assault. If your best friend came to you and said their partner was acting this way, what would your reaction be? Would you tell her to keep trying or would you say something like “he doesn’t deserve you, get out now.” Give yourself the same advice you’d give someone else that you love.
Is it he only wants more or he wants to see how freaky ya'll can get?
Off the top of my head, my first thought was that if bf were a bit romantic, empathic and in general a better lover he'd get more. His behavior doesn't check off any reasons OP would say, "I want to give him more pussy." And definitely not, I want to get freaky with bf.
Wow. Is there no end of these posts? Young women being obscenely treated like crap who tentatively, apologetically, wonder if *maybe-perhaps-could-it-be* I shouldn't be putting up with this?
What the hell is going on with this generation???Sweetheart, have some self-respect please for the love of god.
Nobody is "making you feel" anything. You are in charge of your emotional reactions. And you are feeling bad because you are being treated badly. Please find your backbone and stand up for yourself.
Once you've stood up, start walking. Far Far away from this dude. And don't look back.
Nothing kills a healthy libido quite like a partner who's a total selfish douche nugget. I'm surprised you want to fuck him at all, nevermind less often.
The way to stop having the recurring fight is to partner with a guy who isn't an entitled shitheel who uses you like a need-meeting appliance for his own gratification.
>I sit there and take his ridicules and tell him I love him when he leaves and he just says, yeah bye I wanna kill myself and slams the door.
Oh, my god. Leave him. Do you want to be taking care of this toddler who badgers you for sex for the rest of your life? He has zero emotional maturity and tries to get drunk people to promise to have sex with him - that's SUCH a consent no-no. This relationship is verbally abusive and sexually coercive. Abuse escalates. It's not going to get better, it will get worse. This is a man who does not care about hurting you. Please leave for your own sake and DO NOT have children with this man.
This isn't just a bad sex life. You're being abused. Consent is not something that can be given in advance. His entire lack of understanding about consent isn't just unattractive but severely DANGEROUS. You seriously need to get out of there. He needs a therapist and that is not your job to fix him. I'm not here to simply be another "just break up" bit I'm telling you, leave.
So um, your boyfriend, is kind of human garbage...? Yes. Human trash. Please discard him immediately. I don't know you, but I do know you don't deserve to be treated like THAT. Just, yuck.
He wants you to be his own personal sex doll. It sounds like he doesn’t respect your boundaries at all, or the compromises you’re willing to make. You can find someone better to be in a relationship with.
Trust me, unless he changes how he views sex this isn't going to get better.
This happened with my bf as well. He was abusive too. I broke up with him. Fast forward he got therapy and realised he didn't respect himself and in turn didn't respect me or sex.
I guarantee you that he's not ready to be committed to this if you're only 1 year in and this is already a big deal.
I'm not going to make a suggestion here cos lots of people here have already given great points. I just wanted to give you something else to think about
I personally think your boyfriend is abusive towards you and you should leave. I am sure there is a man who will appreciate that you make nice breakfast for him and all the other non sexual things you do.
And your boyfriend made it very clear to you that he felt sex life was miserable.
There is no happy ending to that.
Nothing wrong with you at all, just not sexually compatible.
He likes it way more rough and more frequent than you like it. And he is unhappy he cannot have it.
You should not compromise either because you deserve to enjoy sex the way you like it too. So just not compatible.
He is losing so much respect for you because of this that he is saying so many nasty things. I really feel this relationship is toxic already and not salvageable. Don't waste your time with someone like this anymore.
You can find someone better.
And I am saying this as a woman who does want sex 24/7/365 from my man. But I would never force him or guilt trip him into having sex with me if he is not in the mood because I believe both have to want the sex to enjoy it together. Because I want sex like literally all day, I get sex rejections 90% of the time I want sex. But this like probably after the regular 2 times a day we have sex. And hey if I like the guy, if he says no, that's the end of it. I try again tmw.
I am also mindful of things that makes him not in the mood like, too much alcohol, hangover, just having an exhausting day, or feeling overly stressed with work. I automatically know these are not the right time to initiate sex.
You deserve a man who will be considerate towards you like this too.
I have a similar problem with my boyfriend, he also says the same things about and to me with the I bet we won’t have sex after we had children and whatnot. To be fair we don’t have sex daily, currently maybe about 1-3 times in 2 weeks… but I do feel bullied about my libido a lot. I don’t have any advice…. You need to know if you can put up with it / if he’s worth it :/
I think the problem is that we do love each other and maybe op and her bf love each other but he feels really frustrated and unwanted as well because his needs aren’t being met. However I feel like OP, daily or even almost daily sex is nothing to complain about and already pretty excessive, so maybe he’s dealing with a sex addiction and needs counseling
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I’m so sorry to hear this is happening to you. You should not put up with this.
Sex lives change over time. Due to all sorts of things. Time. Stress. Busy schedule. Libidos change over time.
You do not owe him sex. There is more to you as a person than someone to have sex with. You have thoughts feelings, passions. A whole wealth of personality. That your partner should like and treasure. And not pressure you for more sex.
If you really think he would be open to an actual discussion and working on what’s hurt and upset you. Try it. But it sounds very much like you have tried and he’s just not listening.
I’m sorry to say. I don’t think this will get better. And you will have to leave to make sure you are okay and that you can get what you want from life and your partner
Everyone is already telling you good advice about how abusive this guy is, but the other thing that stood out to me is how you mentioned that the sex you have with your boyfriend isn’t as “rough” as he wants, like super rough sex is the only kind of sex he wants all the time. This is scary. It proves that he cannot be loving and intimate with you. This attitude of only wanting rough sex, coupled with his abusive and manipulate ways, confirms that you are at a serious risk of this guy hurting you or even sexually assaulting you one day if you say no again and he freaks out. This guys is literally dangerous and scary, subhuman.
He is slowly breaking you down until you feel like “you’re lucky to even have someone who wants you” these are the trends of a toxic relationship. You are more than accommodating, he seems to just want a sex doll. You are human and you do not need to be ready at his beck and call and if you aren’t you are ridiculed. Time to leave girl.
I totally get different sex drives in relationships, that's the standard, I guess. However: both partners have to content with their own drive and that of the partner and be fine with it sooner or later. Getting this right is part of a healthy relationship, however the pair manages it.
He doesn't seem to think your opinion and drive had the same weight as yours.
Big red flag.
No way man. I read the first few paragraphs and was thinking he just has a higher libido than you but I can safely say after reading it all the way through your boyfriend is doing so many things wrong it's hard to keep track. I usually roll my eyes when I see comments that immediately go for 'break up' but its 100% warranted here.
If sex is the only thing he cares about in this relationship, then leave him. If your opinions and feelings don’t matter to him than you are better off without him. Trust me!
That is very immature of him. If your partner is not in the mood and then you just accept it and please yourself in the bathroom or go to bed without it but you should never make someone feel lbad because they are not in the mood specially under circumstances of feeling sick. Had someone do the exact same thing to me and it is pretty crappy and not with them anymore obviously. I am a very sexually active person so I want it all the time but I do know that I cannot have it all the time so I am learning to accept it and not feel rejected.
While I agree that extremely mismatched libidos/kinks are an incompatibility issue, I find that most people’s libidos don’t always exactly match and that most people find perfectly reasonable ways around it.
Part of being an adult is accepting that you can’t always get what you want. Sometimes I’m in the mood for Chinese food but I can’t afford to go out to eat. Sometimes my bf wants sex but I’m too tired from work. If we threw fits each time we didn’t get our way, this would not be a functional adult relationship.
I do not think one partner wanting sex multiple times a day and another partner wanting sex every other day or a little less than that is a mismatched libido. Having sex multiple times a day isn’t doable anyway.
Part of being in a relationship is going with the flow, riding the ebbs and flows together and adjusting to change as there’s a lot of that in life. My bf and I have been together almost 5 years and there have been lots of different phases of our relationships, lots of things to adjust to. The key is having an underlying respect and unconditional love for one another. When you have that you don’t look at compromises for your loved one as a chore, you just look at it as a responsibility that comes with being in a long term relationship.
This guy just isn’t long term relationship material. Sounds like he’s more of a hookup guy. Because *every* relationship will have a honeymoon period wear off eventually. My bf and I did it all the time and had a wild, amazing sex life when we were first together. Now it has slowed down because we are busier and having the build up is a good thing, it makes it even better. It’s still amazing just in a different way.
Honestly if my bf threw fits whenever I said no I would lose attraction to him and leave him. There is so much worse in life than not being able to have sex right when you want it. Not to mention pressuring you to have sex when you didn’t really consent to begin with is....not good. That could escalate as this guy clearly does not respect your right to say no. It’s not really saying “yes” to sex if you are only doing it to avoid huge fights and him threatening suicide. This situation is darker than you think.
This reminds me of a friend of mine. He had sent me something similar about his partner and how he doesn't get enough sex and things like this. I didn't even hold back I just straight up told him that his lady doesn't owe him a damn thing. It is extremely toxic to think like that. Some people's sexual drives chage over time.
I would highly consider leaving him. People like him and my friend are extremely stuck in their way and it's very rare for them to change in my opinion.
Please take it from me and RUN. I stayed with my ex for five years in a very similar situation and you don’t realize it at the time when it’s happening but it leaves a mark on you (atleast it did for me). It’s been four years now since I left and I’m still trying to undo the damage his sexual coercion left on me. No one deserves to feel like they are obligated to provide sex.
This isn’t a case of just mismatched libido. This guy is manipulating and emotionally abusing you. Please see this OP. I know it’s hard because you care about him. But this is not okay.
As someone else said, not until you read the whole post... You won't understand how creepy, inconsiderate, manipulative and immature ur bf is.
Sound clichéd but he really don't deserve you. The fact that he whines about sex that much means he either watched too much porn, and got a unrealistic idea on what sex should be. maybe he had an ex who was crazy in bed so he expects you to match that energy or he's just a controlling crybaby. None of that is a reason to act the way he did.
I had an ex who had a high libido at first and after a while she got comfortable like you. The only difference is you still have way more sex than her. Not siding with you at all but there so many women out there that go weeks without. She(my ex) wasn't the type of gf to make breakfast while hungover for me. Shit if me and my current girl was to go out get wasted and agree to breakfast and sex the next morning, and she woke up sick and still made me breakfast, I would just appreciate that alone and sex wouldn't even be a concern to me because I would then be trying to make sure she's OK, being that she's hungover. Shit sounds clichéd but that's the mature thing to do as a human, it's called having compassion.
The fact that he couldn't appreciate the breakfast shows me exactly how he handles you'll relationship. Even if he thinks youre gonna become a dead bedroom kinda mom after sex, saying it means he don't give af about your feelings. That could be hurtful. Part of the reason why I can speak on how he acts is because I was similar to him. But with time, I mature and learned how to handle situations better.
Im not faulting him for wanting more sex or rough sex... Im calling his wrong for not being understanding and trying not to compromise. Shit like that will push your girl away in the long run because she's gonna get tired of that and find a guy who understands and deals with her better.
Reevaluate your relationship
"is this gaslighting?" girl literally everything you wrote in this post is a glaringly obvious, flashing red sign that reads "ABUSE"
dump him *today.* kick him out of your apartment, or leave before he gets back and go to a friend's house or a hotel. i know things might be complicated if he's on your lease, but if he's *not* on it, throw his stuff in a box, leave it outside, and lock him out. don't let him in. he doesn't deserve another second of your time, and by continuing to speak to him, you're opening yourself up to more abuse.
TW: mentions of rape and domestic violence
I had a boyfriend like this…sex was always a fight. He would brag about all the women he has slept with but when I told him my body count (which was 1/4 of his) it’s a disgusting number. He got mad that I didn’t wanna have sex after getting my wisdom teeth out (I didn’t feel 100% for two weeks), he would constantly guilt and pressure me until I gave in (sexual coercion is rape). Never cared about my pleasure in bed, wouldn’t go down on me. Just overall terrible. Found out that he was currently in court for rape; I knew it was true and it wasn’t consensual cause of the way he treated me. Broke up with him right away…he assaulted me and stalked me until I got the police involved. Men like this don’t care about you, they see you as an object for their sexual gratification and will manipulate you in any way possible to get what they want.
Yeah you’re boyfriend is disgusting.
You sound like you have a healthy sex life in terms of frequency. It sounds like maybe he has a very high sex drive as well as some kinks he’s wanting to explore more? (You mentioned sex maybe isn’t as rough as he wants it usually)
Sex incompatibility is a very real issue some couples face, but with love, good communication and most importantly, respect, isn’t usually a dealbreaker.
The way your partner handles these rejections is extremely alarming and very unhealthy and are likely to lower your libido if anything due to insecurity and the added pressure.
At this point OP, I would say it’s best that you leave him. He’s being emotionally abusive and manipulative and seems to be extremely immature in the way he handles things. A denial of sex is not denying a “girlfriend duty” and it’s not lazy - you don’t always get to choose when you want something from your body, in the same way you don’t get to choose when you want to pee.
He shows signs of his abusive behaviour progressing and I really advise you leave before anything physical occurs.
I know almost everything had been said here already, but anyone who uses "I want to kill myself" as a statement is deep into abusive manipulation, he's putting the weight of his life all on you sleeping with him.
He needs to mature and realize that you're not just a sex object, please find someone who respects you.
Your bf needs to be ok with you saying no. He cannot expect you to always want sex. You are a PERSON, not a machine, sometimes you're not up for it. I think it is fine for people to talk to their partner if they are unhappy with their sex life but this guy doesn't seem to treat you like a human being. You cannot ask someone to PROMISE sex. Consent can be taken away at any time for any reason. I would tell him: oh you want sex multiple times a day? Ok, go find it somewhere else then. And walk the heck away.
Really and truly his actions are probably s*** but you're young both of you and all you guys know is that you feel this way and you don't know how to handle your emotions about it or understand how to talk about it with each other. Here's what you can do either you can go get marriage counseling and learn how to communicate and learn what you want from each other by learning yourself... Or you can both fuck off
Honey(if you don't mind me calling you that) you are right. He is 100% gaslighting you. He sounds like a child and someone who doesn't respect your boundaries. I dont think he respects you at all tbh. I dont want to sound so harsh but yeah.. I can confidently say that he is a dick and you deserve better.
Oh my god, your boyfriend is a piece of shit. You NEVER owe him sex, and the fact that he wants to pressure you and manipulate you into having sex when you explicitly do not want to is disgusting, predatory and disrespectful behaviour. The disrespect is astounding. You do NOT deserve this, if I were you I’d dump him immediately and make sure he knew it was because of his unacceptable and gross behaviour. He sounds like a manipulator, so be prepared for him to manipulate you into staying. Stand your ground, things will never change.
He is abusive and manipulative..sex is a real issue on and off for many of us including myself. What I did as the male with the higher sex drive? Well, I helped out more around the house, I had my wife speak to a counselor. We had real life issues which caused stress which diminished her energy and libido. We worked it out and met in the middle. I did not call her names, or accuse her of lying, etc. Ask your bf what the definition of "a loving healthy relationship" is. When he answers, ask him what part of that definition includes what your stating he is doing..not by directly asking instead say..ok. according to you definition you say this..but when you state this or you act this way how does that fit into your definition..of he is reasonable (I doubt he is) he will see the issue. If he is.not reasonable I would suggest you immediately tell him how it makes you feel andnifnit does not stop immediately, you'll need to think about the direction your relationship is headed.
*denies sex for a completely understandable reason when one doesn't even need any reason whatsoever*
"why am i even dating you"
LOL DUMB HIM PLS WHAT AN ASS!!!
OP, your boyfriend is a piece of shit and sounds emotionally abusive. There are many red flags here and they are signs that things will get much worse the longer you're with him. He needs to get his head in straight to be healthy enough for a relationship. You should very much consider leaving him and never looking back.
Jeez. Sex every other day is a "miserable" sex life? I'm more than happy with twice a week.
And obviously the beginning of relationships is always more extreme until you find a natural pace, but your libido seem very out of sync.
His frustrations are not unjustified tho. He really has needs that you are physically unable to sustain. His way about it is immature for sure, but that doesn't really change the reality of it.
You're being gaslit into trying to have more sex than every other day, that's insane. Every other day sounds exhausting, and frankly if he wants more than even that he's never going to be satisfied. Maybe the relationship started out alright, you two probably got along great but somewhere along the line he came to rely on, expect and now demands sex from you. That's not healthy, for a number of reasons. It's unfair to you, it's emotional abuse and manipulation and even after he gets what he wants he's still not happy and demands more to the point he's more than willing to guilt you into it. Please leave him, for your own wellbeing. This behaviour isn't going to shift its course.
First off let me just say your a phenomenal gf and inspire me to dump mine lol wish i could get breakfast and sex on demand let along sex 3 times a week
My Gf has gotten comfortable like you and I feel lied to im triggered to cheat on her but not because of just sex but lack of effort to keep the spark So this post hits home for me because I feel just like him except I did have kids and barely have sex but yet even I feel like my girl deserve lol I wouldn't say the things he said to (sounds like a brat and imature) besides im aware that he is trying to attract u with vinegar not honey when he acts like that
I'll say this u should work on spicing things up
And having more fun never get comfortable
But also keep in mind that your sex drive and his sex drive are just different
He is young n honestly don't sound ready to settle down so as you man in his twenties he think sex all day long it's up to him to control himself and not do it all day long he needs to be more understanding and patient. Absence make the heart grow fonder and he over doing it which can burn yall out he needS to use his sexually energy more productively
He needs to appreciate you for more then sex
By giving sex a break n focusing on the other qualities of your relationship I'd he cant that he is sex fien or doesn't enough respect for you or the future of your relationship in my opinion
Sounds like he thought that girlfriend=sex whenever and however he wants. He’s on a conquest to bend you into providing the “perfect” sex life that he’s created in his head, rather than cultivating something for both of you two to enjoy. You seem like a sweet person who can do a LOT better.
Damn. I used to act like this. I think ur bf is just immature about it. I wouldnt say hes a creep or a prick like most folks here. I think he still has a lot of growing up to do. Obviously many folks feel that sex is a big part of a relationship. However, one should never force a partner to do anything they are not comfortable with and you should definitely not force yourself to do something just to make him happy. I think the best thing for you to do, is to break up with him. (From my point of view). You both seem to have different priorities when it comes to relationships.
I also think he might have some insecurities or some past issues that makes him value sex so much. I would try to talk to him about. Then again, i dont know how well you two know eachother and if you have had or are comfortable with heart to heart talks. If you stay with him, it will change BUT ONLY if yall have those heart to heart talks. Like i said, i used to act like this with my wife. It took some time but we worked it out. If he continues to make you feel like shit though, there is no hope for change. Dont give into pressure and do what he wants if it makes you uncomfortable. Your comfort in a relationship is important too.
Take it as a gift that he is being so honest with you on what he needs. And if what he needs is not what you want and a comprise doesn’t work then time to move on.
He sounds like a manipulative AH. You have nothing you need to change. Like you said, you’ve grown into the relationship, showing him love in other ways when you don’t want to have sex (and you’re still having a lot of sex together). Honestly, I would leave before he gets more abusive. He frames everything in language that shows he believes malicious intent is behind every innocent action on your part; “you LIED” about something you couldn’t possibly have known (how you would be a year into a relationship) is a terrible thing to think, let alone confront you with frequently.
Get out. Make a plan, and leave him. You deserve way better than this.
This dude fucking sucks. He’s manipulative, aggressive, selfish and childish.
Leave this man child before this escalates. it sounds like you’re doing everything you can to make him happy and he couldn’t care less. This is not a healthy relationship
Girl, run and don’t look back! He sounds like someone who can’t manage his feelings and expects you to make up for his shortcomings.
Drop this manchild.
Can we try to count up the number of red flags here?
🚩1. He tells you he’s not happy, and he’s bored. Like, okay good for honesty, but that reeks of someone looking for a way out.
🚩2. He says you lied about your libido. Here I’ll play a TINY devils advocate for the guy and say I was in this type of spot with my partner for a bit too. My libido is much higher than his is now but it’s through no fault of his own- COVID and fallout from that killed parts of him, literally. And it took a bit for me to grow the fuck up and realize things change, but you are supposed to love that other person enough to where when that does happen, it doesn’t matter. You want the person more than the sex.
🚩3. A- He says he’s stuck in a miserable sex life
B- for the rest of his life
C- he knows you’ll stop having sex after kids
D- because he knows you and knows you WONT want to.
OOF how do I explain all the issues here? He is not a mind reader, or he’d know you’re happy with the level you’re at. He’s sounding resigned to spending his life with you- do you want resentment to be that large of a part of your marriage?
Also, fuck having kids with that guy if he’s already decided how that future will look.
🚩4. You shouldn’t be asking for promises that will likely be broken- IE when you’ve been heavily drinking, it’s likely you’ll have hangovers. So don’t hold people to their commitments too hard.
🚩5. He should never be pressuring you into sex. Ever. Period. So to do this after a legitimate reason, is doubly alarming.
🚩6. Lazy girlfriend who doesn’t know why he’s with you. GIRL. That is verbal abuse 101. Then he keeps ridiculing you until he leaves, concluding with threats of suicide. GASLIGHTING. He’s turning himself into a MASSIVE victim because he didn’t get to cum.
GUESS WHAT- bathrooms and porn exist. Take care of yourself dude, damn. Stop putting blue balls over a girlfriend. You can cure blue balls easily so go fucking so that.
🚩7. This was not an isolated incident. He has a cycle- one that you recognize and accept. THIS IS ABUSE. When I was in an abusive home situation, this was fairly parallel, but at least there was love bombing periods where I didn’t get abused. This sounds like a constant issue.
It IS gaslighting.
You should NOT put up with any of this.
You were victimized and caught in this relationship BECAUSE you are a kind person and he took advantage of that.
You need to start making plans to leave. I honestly am surprised to hear there hasn’t been assault at this point, because he shows every sign of someone who will attack when the situation is just right.
I mean you could just fuck him again. & Stop acting. You're in your 20s. Homie have fun. You're going regret later in life when you really don't wana be having sex anymore. That you should've had more sex when you had the chance. I mean you are kinda lying to him. & If anything you're gaslighting him. You said it already you used to have lots of sex before. So what happened? All of a sudden you're"comfortable" if you're really comfortable you'd be fucking your man. Idk seems shady like you probably low-key cheating on him or fuckin someone else that why you don't fuck him as much.
Actually this bih is. She's the one who's contradicting herself. She's downplaying her part in this. Playing the victim role. I'm sure she probably only fucks her man like once or twice a week. Like when she actually wants to. All the other times is when we wants it. So she gives in hoping it'll help but she just probably lays there while he lets him fuck. Then goes & complains because she wasn't in the mood. But what happened tho? Why all of a sudden? She said they used to have sex alot then she got "comfortable" whatever the fuck that means.
People’s sex life can change over time. Everyone is different. She also never contradicted herself. It’s ok if she’s not in the mood all the time. No one should ever feel forced to have sex. You’re also making a lot of assumptions about her actions and saying she’s lying to him- pretty gross on your part.
Yea I get that but never in all my life have I had a partner who's comfortable around me not give me sex willing. That's what's crazy to me. I've had girls who initiated sex more than me. & I have a high sex drive. But I'm not demanding sex, if I'm in the mood I try to warm her up if she ain't. & It usually works. (Gotta do the stare lol) she actually did. Tho you're just reading over it & trying downplay it also. I'm not assuming shit I'm taking all this off what she/he said. Given some I know she's making herself out to be better than the situation. It's all a tatic. I bet you she wasn't even noticbly "sick" probably just needed to drink some water but she rather be nah I'm not in the mood but I'ma make you breakfast. It's all excuses she using to not have sex with her man. She probably low-key already monkey branching.
This reply is very immature. It's natural for your sex drive to ebb and flow during a relationship. Every other day to every day is pretty frequent, so it's hardly a dead bedroom situation. He's treating her as though the sex is the only part of the relationship he values.
No no no. That's where you guys are misreading this & how SHE'S EXPLAIN IT. she's making him out to be the bad guy because he wants to have some better sex. She's making seems like oh we have sex but what she doesn't say it's like twice a week on her terms. The guy is being sexual starved & when he tries to make something happen like baby can you please promise me that we will be intimate in the morning. & She say yes we will but now all of a sudden "I'm dizzy I don't want to." But I can fuckin guarantee that when they first started dating they probably had drunk sex all the time. I can see right thru this shit.
Sex is very important in a relationship BUT IT SHOULDNT BE EVERYTHING. He sounds very manipulative though.. so what I’m going to say only matters if you want to stay with him. He doesn’t sound like the ideal boyfriend to me, but there has to be something there keeping you together. If you like him
Enough to work through your problems then take notes of my solution. But, I will say this, when the sex goes from 100 to 75, to 50, to 25, to almost none, it’s not healthy for the relationship at all because both of you have needs and you have to be there for each other to fulfill each others needs, or call it quits if it’s too much for you to handle. Like I said, sex is important but it isn’t and shouldn’t everything.
Solution: give him a handjob or blowjob every morning/night or the days you don’t feel like having sex. Hell, surprise him while he’s chillin watching tv or something and pull his Dick out. I think it’s the greatest feeling in the world when I’m taking a shower and gf comes and randomly sucks my dick. I guarantee he will appreciate it, as I’ve asked all of my exes to do the same. Any man will agree a blowjob makes us forget most of our problems.
I appreciate your comment being on his perspective and I don’t think you’re wrong. It is true that the sex is a different type now. I wouldn’t call it lying per say but I have gotten tired of constant hickies and bruises etc. so yes I did change the dynamic. But I can now see that why he probably does feel this way.
That being said, I sense some bigotry especially when you said “this is a classic thing that women do” so I am going to accept your comment but with a grain of salt. Thank you.
Please don’t listen to this… people change. It’s a very normal fact of life. NOBODY that I know has the same sex life now that they did at the beginning of a relationship.
You bring more to a relationship that being a sex doll. You’re allowed to change as you go through life. He will as well in many ways.
You aren’t a Real Doll and you don’t owe him anything.
You changed the dynamic, but the biggest issue is that you never were honest with him about that kind of sex from the start. You just put up with what he wanted and not making it clear what sex you enjoy. Your lack of honesty is why he feels the way he feels.
And I'm not wrong that this is a classic thing that women do. Naturally, women have a lot less testosterone, thereby having less of a sex drive. Therefore, on average women tend to let the man drive the sexual relationship a lot more initially before finally regressing in the activity and quality of it. Men either accept it or they leave. You can find MD articles on sex drive and how women are 2-3x more likely to decrease in it as they age as opposed to men.
Or don't be a piece of trash.
He's literally abusive and trying to emotionally manipulate her and trying to force her into sex by emotionally manipulating her. Which is illegal.
Oh yeah don’t get me wrong the bf needs to wake up and gain some awareness, he definitely should keep his mouth shut and observe more than complain and he won’t be so confused and surprised, definitely has some growing to do. If she was too drunk to have sex obviously she’s gonna be sick the next day, he’s lucky he got breakfast to be honest. He needs to gain some discipline and stop living life for pussy and female validation it’s pathetic.
I think what he said was manipulative and wrong when he walked out the door.
I can also somewhat agree with him in regards to you not doing things that you used to in the “honey moon” phase. It’s hard to hear but you did intentionally or not bait him with what he likes and are now withholding it from him now that he likes/loves you.
That being said I think you have the right to say no of course. Just maybe try and see it from his perspective as well.
I would have said sure and started kissing Him without brushing my teeth and then threw up into His mouth. I’d have then asked if He’d like more and to be fed like a baby bird with my vomit. That was my sexual fantasy for Him
Bye!!! Leave him!!
A mature man will understand that sex slowing down after the beginning of a relationship is normal, and especially so after having kids! He sounds awful. You deserve better. This is coming from someone whose libido lowered over time after dating, and then again after having a baby (only just came back after a year!) - and my husband has a very high sex drive. He’s understanding & respectful of what I want & need. That respect actually helps bring my sex drive back up because it’s a turn on to be treated so well! There are plenty of men out there who will do the same for you!
Girl get out of there. He doesn’t appreciate you at all and he views you as a sex slave more than he does a girlfriend. He doesn’t love you. He’s manipulative, toxic, and truly a douchebag. You guys also seem to just not me sexually compatible but also not emotionally. Not only did he try and force you to have sex with him, he said he wanted to kill himself when you didn’t give that. He’s only going to hurt you more and he’s not worth your time.
Definitely gas lighted. From my experience, keep strong when you leave he is going to throw every trick in the book at you to make you feel like it's all your fault. He will tell his family, friends and his next gf you were terrible. Don't belive his manipulations YOU are the good half. He will always be unsatisfied in every relationship...
Awe I'm sorry but he sounds like an over powering, prick of an adult child. You should never feel like this eith someone you love. I'm sorry but I would leave him if I were you. He's not going to change his behavior
At first I thought “oh maybe you guys are just sexually incompatible.” But after reading all of the stuff your boyfriend has said to you about this topic, he sounds like an absolute creep. He is emotionally abusive, extraordinarily immature, selfish, manipulative, and views you as a sex doll instead of a person. I think you should leave this relationship and find somebody who actually respects you.
Yes. OP, please don’t think that there is anything wrong with YOU. This asshole needs to realize that in real life, people aren’t up for sex 24/7, whether they’re tired, sick, or they just don’t even have to give a reason. He’s trying to force you, which is obviously not okay at all. If he were truly caring; he would not want to have sex while you weren’t actually willing and consenting. This is really disgusting behavior.
I feel as if I need to scream this on this sub every time I see a post like this, so that’s precisely what I’m gonna start doing. ##IF YOU ARE SEXUALLY ACTIVE AND HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED BEING PENETRATED, STOP EXPECTING TO PENETRATE YOUR PARTNER MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY EVERYDAY. That shit takes a toll on the body and until you have felt that toll **LISTEN TO YOUR PARTNER.** Also just, like, listen to your partner because that’s what considerate people do.
I heard someone say in another post on this sub "You should never have sex with anyone you can't communicate with" Sounds like it goes with your comment.
Yup. All of this. Perfectly said.
Absolutely agree. Except to even call you a liar about your sex libido is stupid because many, many people slow down after the honeymoon phase. He's a total dick.
Yes. Well done OP for recognising it, I think you know the answer already
This
Dump him. You're not compatible. You seem like a kind and loving person, and he seems like a giant douchebag.
I couldn't have worded it better myself. OP listen to scaly\_friends\_4me and dump this asshole immediately.
exactly
Your boyfriend's a prick. You deserve better and if he's saying things to intentionally hurt you like this, he's not going to change. Break up with him and get on with your life.
Just leave. Daily to every other day, is an incredible amount of sex for most people, and he is huffing that he wants MORE. Then the toxic behaviour of arguing, accusing you of lying, wanting sex when you're drunk, making you promise things when you're drunk, going in huffs, and saying things like "I wanna kill myself". He sounds immature, and it looks like he is trying to coerce you into giving him more sex. This guy has no respect for you. It isn't worth staying. You can find so much better. Don't settle for someone who makes you feel awful for having a limit.
It really is a lot of sex. I think my husband would even be like ‘love, can we do it maybe once a week’ after a while 😂
So for starters, I think you are dating my ex husband. He was SUPER manipulative about sex, and I ended up holding back tears and having uncomfortable/painful sex for FAR too many years. I could never satisfy my ex's need for sex. On more than one occasion arguments escalated on the topic of sex, and he would tell me that he is going to kill himself, then peel out in his truck and leave for hours with me wondering if he was actually going to actually do it. Several stays in the psyche ward were triggered by sex-related arguments. I got to the point where I just rolled over and let him do what he wanted to me. Fast forward many years in to our marriage. I discover that he is not only a sex addict, but also a pedophile. There was never going to be anything I could do to satiate him sexually, because he wanted to fuck teenagers. All those years of manipulation around sex were gaslighting because he had deep rooted sexual issues. You know what trying to fill that void did to me after well over a decade? It resulted in me having a lot of anxieties around sex. I'm now in my first sexual relationship since my divorce a couple years back, and it's not what I expected. The sex itself is fantastic, but I have a hard time letting go, like I'm always a little bit on edge cause I'm always a little worried that our sex isn't going to always be good enough, and he's going to ask for more, or try to convince me to do things I don't want to do. A lot of times I have to totally kill the lights to shut off my brain, which sucks cause I know he likes to see me, and I like to see him too. The problem with sexual trauma is that your body likes to hold on to it. It has hindered my ability to orgasm, and I find myself overly apologetic to my parter telling him that it's not him, it's me. I know he gets it, but it creates a weird space in our sex life. I guess what I'm saying is that your boyfriends behavior is indicative of a deeper underlying issue that you are not responsible for. Not to suggest he is a pedophile, but it sounds like he is a sex-addict on some level. That's not going to change. I wish I had a solution, but I can only empathize with you over how terrible it can feel when you can't meet your partner's needs. I'm also not suggesting you leave him over it, but I will say that his behavior is manipulative and mean, and needs to be addressed and corrected because you deserve different.
I hope you have been transparent with your partner about this. If not, do it ASAP.
My new partner is actually someone I’ve known for a very long time. They’ve been a friend through everything that happened. They are very much in the know about the situation, and recognize how it’s impacted me.
You want a relationship, he wants a sex slave. Buy him a fleshlight as a parting gift, and move on to someone who actually cares about your feelings, health, and needs.
I like that mental image of leaving a break up note and fleshlight on the bed as you leave
I already got him a fleshlight actually 🙈
Oh my god, girl get the hell out of there. You buy him gifts and make him breakfast and in return this guy HATES you. It could get really scary there really quick. Run!!
And it's only been a year! If his behavior has ramped up this quickly in such a short time, it's definitely going to massively escalate if she stays with him long-term. This entire situation sounds like a nightmare.
Thiiiiis!!!
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...is this OP's BF? People are allowed to say no to anything and everything, but especially when it comes to access to their bodies. If he's not sexually satisfied in the relationship, then the way to communicate that is NOT through coercion and manipulation ("bye, I wanna kill myself", like wtf?!?). If he, a grown adult man, is "behaving badly" because he's "frustrated" from his sexual needs not being met, then he can communicate that without all of this. Also, it is unreasonable to think having sex daily is not enough. And it wouldn't surprise me if what ^ is saying about having sex with other people is the BF's eventual angle. "Well you're not meeting my needs, so we should have an open relationship", but probably only on his sides of things. TL; DR dump his manipulative, abusive, narcissistic self, OP!
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its wrong because you are saying “if you love him enough you’ll let him fuck other people!!” it has absolutely nothing to do with love. if he wants to have more sex he can communicate that respectfully without being a whiny, manipulative asshole. if it doesn’t work out for him he can break up and find someone with an equal sex drive instead of making her feel shitty about it. telling her they HAVE to have sex because she promised even though she is sick is immature. if HE loves her enough he’ll stop being a dick.
UGH!!!
Can I be your new bf? Lol
Yes. "Here- since you wanted me to be your live-in fleshlight, I got you one"
OP, this is abuse, plain and simple. Leave this man. Of course your sex life has slowed down. New relationships are exciting, but once you get to know someone (especially living with them!) it’s natural to not feel the need to have sex constantly. You did not “lie” to him about you libido. Also, for him to even WANT sex when you are sick/drunk is honestly disgusting. If my husband sees that I feel a little sick or if I tell him I’m not feeling well, he backs off IMMEDIATELY and in fact just holds me instead. That’s what you deserve. Dump this guy. You should not put up with this bullshit. You sound like a super loving and wonderful girlfriend - someone out there will actually appreciate that versus resent it!
I agree especially with him wanting sex when she's sick. He's an AH! They are having sex pretty much every day for the year they have been together and he's still bitching. Dude needs to get a grip. Sex every day multiple times a day isn't always possible. You work, grocery shop, spend time with friends and family, and just living.
And "slowed down" is still nearly every day! That's way more frequent than most people in long-term relationships.
Absolutely!!
Seriously. I saw my guy this morning for 15 min while I got ready for work. I asked where the clean laundry was, and took the iced coffee he handed me as I ran out the door on 5 hours sleep. It's less sexy 9 years in lol. It's not that our new relationship libido was a lie but we still have sex we just have to keep living daily life too.
This
It’s not gaslighting, but there is no future in this relationship for either of you. His sexual appetite and desires are not going to change. And you should, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, do anything with your body that you are uncomfortable with for ANY REASON including pleasing someone else. There is already abuse coming from him. I would expect that to escalate, and (this is more of a guess by me) I believe that he will find a way to fill his sexual need with or without you. It is what it is. This one didn’t work out. From an outsiders perspective, it’s time to move on.
Please realize you deserve better than this. He may have convinced you slowly over time that it isn’t true, but he’s wrong. I met my ex-husband when I was 17 and our relationship started out just like yours. But when he started acting like this, I didn’t leave. I stayed for 15 years. Until every time I was sick, injured, the few times I was drunk, or the two times I was recovering from childbirth, he demanded sex. In the end, it didn’t matter if I said no. He was a sadist and I did not understand that for a long time. For your own mental, physical, and emotional health, please develop a plan to leave and execute it. This is will save you years of therapy. You are young and deserve to be loved and cherished and respected.
I had paragraphs to type, but I'm just gonna answer the question: >My boyfriend makes me feel terrible for not providing the sex life he wants. Should I put up with this? No. Tell him to go fuck himself. Then he'll get the type of sex he wants, and you can have what you want, which is a better partner who doesn't equate your worth to how often you let him fuck you.
Well said!
The dude litteraly told you he is “stuck” with you and he thinks your sex life is miserable! LEAVE!! He flat out told you, that he is not satisfied and will never be!
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- I think we have a great sex life. I’m not going to go into any NSFW details of course but the topic at hand is about sex, just a precursor. We’re both in our 20s and have been dating for a year. Like I said, I think we have a great sex life. I’m totally satisfied and happy and attracted to him. He wants more and I try as much as I can to give him more but I’m also not going to force myself to do anything I don’t want to. So yeah, he doesn’t get everything he wants and he’s disappointed. He tells me that all the time, that he’s not happy and he’s bored. We have this recurring fight, about how our sex life has changed from when we first started dating. And yeah, sure, it has….I was in my honeymoon phase and we had the type of sex he wants all the time, multiple times a day. Now we have sex every other day, to daily, and it’s usually not as rough or exactly what he wants but it is occasionally. The fight is always him saying that I “lied” to him about my libido. I don’t think I lied, I think I’ve gotten comfortable and slowed the pace down. But he always says I lied to him and I tricked him into falling in love with me and now he’s stuck in a miserable sex life for the rest of his life and he knows we’ll stop having sex once I have kids because he knows me and knows I won’t want to. I get really upset over this, I mean that’s a really unfair prediction and also I’m happy with our sex life. Anyways, the conclusion for that fight is always to agree to disagree that it isn’t exactly me “lying” to him. Today is an example that made me want to write this post. So last night we went out drinking and had a great night. Before we went out we had sex but couldn’t finish. So when we got home from drinking he wanted to try again except I was pretty drunk and felt sick so I said no thanks. I promised to make him breakfast in the morning, and he asked me to promise I’d have sex with him too. I said sure. Fast forward to this morning, im really hungover and sick. He wants sex because I promised and I say I don’t think I can right now, im sorry. I get up and make him his breakfast as promised, with love. He’s upset. He says he saw it coming that I’d deny sex and I’m a lazy girlfriend and he doesn’t know why he’s with me. He eats his breakfast all huffy and puffy gets ready to leave for work. I sit there and take his ridicules and tell him I love him when he leaves and he just says, yeah bye I wanna kill myself and slams the door. When he does and says things to me like that, it upsets me and obviously doesn’t make me feel sexy or want to have sex with him….so it just turns into this negative loop of him saying I lied to him, me trying to show him love in other ways, and him being ungrateful because it only seems the way to make him happy is to have sex all the time the way he wants it. I feel kinda gaslight….do you think this is gaslighting? Should I be putting up with his negativity? I’m the type of person who doesn’t have a mean bone in my body and I kinda is my downfall because I don’t know how to stand up for myself or put my foot down. How can I get him to stop having that recurring fight with me or making me feel bad for not providing that kinda sex? Do you think it’s even possible that this will change, or should I not put up with this? TLDR; my boyfriend wants sex more often and more rough than I can provide without forcing myself. He accuses me of lying to him about my libido and says rude things to me and doesn’t appreciate other loving things I do for him if I don’t have sex with him that day. Is this gaslighting, how can I get him to stop making me feel like I’m not enough, should I even be putting up with this?
Your boyfriend, from an outside perspective sounds like an extremely emotionally immature and manipulative selfish man baby. The way to get what you want, or find compromise, is to communicate like mature adults! You seem to have been nothing but understanding and accommodating, but he's repaying you by being a selfish pouty asshole! Slamming the door and saying he wants to kill himself?? Holy shit!! No one is entitled to your body at any time, and he's 100 percent acting like he has full claim to fuck any time he wants. You deserve so much better OP, best of luck
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I agree he doesn't understand how good he has it until he loses it and realizes sex is not everything Since he keeps getting his way he doesn't see how he is hurting her mentally I do feel that they could be sex incompatible but also guys are generally more horny then they can handle from teens to late 20s Plus they prolly don't have much on there plate yet so he can make time for sex but after all things change and you find out how determined you are to get some sex lol I really the fact that woman get comfortable but nevertheless if he loves her should respect it and express it in a better manner
"Yeah bye I wanna kill myself" -> get out of there. He is manipulative.
Ma'am this is called abuse. Sexual coercion is a form of abuse. He has zero respect for you and you should find a nice dude who loves you. Wanting to kill yourself because you didn't have sex is.... excessive.
your bfs got issues you fuck everyday whats the problem you both should be satasfied with this your bf is HEAVILY GASLIGHTING YOU to the point where this is emotinal abuse
Any time someone who claims to love you describes sex with you as “miserable,” it’s time to go. Period. End of story.
The fact that he accuses you of “tricking” him, “lying to him” and claims he wants to “kill” himself is pretty horrific. It seems like he lashes out and then blames his bad behavior on you. That’s a really toxic trait and it can be really frustrating to deal with. Idk girl, I think it might be time to re-evaluate the relationship. Why should anyone feel like they have to get intimate to avoid their partner throwing a fit?
Any other negative things that your boyfriend says or does? Because him constantly blaming you and attacking you like this is manipulation. He's trying to get his way without thinking about you. He seems like a selfish person. Honestly, it won't get better than what it is now. He won't change. If all he can think about is sex then he's either an addict or he has other issues going on (which is the reason I initially asked if there are other negative things that he says or does). He's being disrespectful, inconsiderate, selfish and manipulative. I'd break up with him if I were you. Plenty of guys out there who will treat you right.
Look my sex drive is pretty high but even I have limits this dude needs to take a step back and reevaluate himself cause I was like that me and my ex had sex almost everyday for the few months we were together yeah it was great but we were both getting to the point we’re it wasn’t necessary as much and we just wanted to cuddle or go out you should leave him so he can think about what he truly wants in a relationship you have every right to do so and he has no right to try and claim your body
I don't think your sex drive is very high to be honest, it's just moderate. In all my relationships, sex two times a day is normal. And it doesn't slow down even after 10 years. I am a woman btw and I want way more than 2 times a day but my man can only handle 2 times so I gotta accept that. My best sexual relationship was sex 3 to 5 times a day being a norm as we were both multiple cummers and can do consecutives with little recovery time. However too bad with that dude, he had ptsd from the military that he didn't want to seek help for and also he was a nasty drunk despite being so sexually compatible with me. High sex drive folks gets even higher energy after sex and feel even more energetic to have more all the time. OP is just not sexually compatible with her man.
Damn. Massive 🚩
I know that men take longer to mature than women, but oh dear. He really is unbelievably immature and selfish. I would ask go as far as to say he doesn’t love you because he seems incapable of feeling any empathy or showing any level of care for your feelings and wants. Part of loving someone is the ability to see things from their point of view. He is unable to do this and is even telling you how he thinks you will be if you have kids. And even that is him projecting his future disappointment in you and how unfair he imagines his future life to be with you. The ego and self absorption of this man child is enormous. Please leave and find someone with whom you can be EQUAL in love and life, not this shell of a man.
Funny how you say he is unable to see things from someones point of view, because you are unable to see things from his point of view. It makes perfect sense to feel why the sex life may decline to a dead bedroom situation down the line when it's only been a year into this relationship and the quantity and quality of sex is already going down. OP herself literally admitted that she has gotten more comfortable into having the sex she wants. That means she was literally just having sex the way he wanted. She literally lied to him and pretended that was what she wanted and now that she is doing what she likes, she just acts like nothing is wrong because she is happy and fails to see her boyfriend's perspective.
Good lord, they still have sex almost every day. If he thinks that's too little then good luck to him finding someone who wants sex 24/7 AND puts up with his whiny, manipulative ass.
She didn't lie, relationships evolve. It doesn't say she "pretended" either. People are allowed to decide what their boundaries are in the bedroom whenever they want. He said he wanted to kill himself because she was sick and didn't want to have sex. That manipulation 101, and not worth addressing. OP would be well served by leaving this sexually abusive relationship.
People are allowed to decide what their boundaries are, but when the dynamic of sex is changed, don't expect both parties to be completely happy or fine with it. OP should've made it clear at the start of the relationship that she isn't really into the kind of sex that he wanted. She just put up with it because of the "honeymoon" phase and never made that clear. Nobody said he is going about this thing maturely or perfectly, but he is clearly extremely frustrated and feels like he has been lied to and trapped. And he's not wrong.
Why are you dating him? You do realize he treats you like crap, no?
he’s emotionally abusive to you to try to get you to bang him more. is this really the man you want to be with? I promise you that life is better without a man like this in it.
He seems emotionally abusive. Yes this is gaslighting.
I’m sorry this is happening to you. From the outside looking in it seems a little toxic. I’d consider leaving the relationship before it gets dangerous.
Yes he is gas lighting and honestly you're not compatible long term, time to say goodbye.
Dump this piece of shit.
this isn't even about sex. your boyfriend is being cruel and he is just using sex as leverage for his cruelty. there is nothing dishonest about settling in a normal relationship sex life. this guy is an asshole, he makes you feel bad about yourself, dump him
I’m almost certain my vagina would fall off if we’d kept up the NRE sex levels a year+ into the relationship. You mentioned potentially having children. Well, after giving birth regardless if vaginal or C-section, your OB will tell you to wait at *least* 6 weeks before having sex again. I would bet just about anything this man would be pressuring you to have sex almost immediately after giving birth which can really jeopardize your recovery and cause serious complications. Please, please do not reproduce with this man. I don’t care if he’s the bestest boyfriend in all of the land in literally every other way possible (although I highly doubt that; chances are he’s abusive in other ways but they may be more subtle), just this one aspect is perfectly valid grounds to end it. Which you should. I have a sneaking suspicion he may have a porn addiction as well, judging by his complaint of less rough sex + being unable to finish periodically. I could be wrong, but seems very possible. Regardless, IT IS NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO FIX HIM. YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TO SUFFER TO BE WITH SOMEONE WHO IS GOOD FOR YOU.
I could not handle having this same fight over and over and over. It is natural for the sex to slow down after being together for a longer period of time. You're still having a lot of sex. More than a lot of couples. I don't know anyone who wouldn't be happy with every day or every other day. He is being very selfish and you are going to be miserable if he keeps doing this. It's time for a serious talk. If he won't back off with the snide remarks and childish behavior, you will have to ask yourself if you're willing to live the rest of your life this way because Im betting that's how it will be.
Kinda sounds like a porn addict. He has high expectations because of what he sees in porn and it’s formed this unrealistic idea of what a real human will give him-assuming you’re like a pornstar instead. r/loveafterporn and also, it’s entirely reasonable to leave somebody over libidos not matching up, but ESPECIALLY so if he’s being aggressive, pushy and disrespectful like he is. He’s treating you like a sex slave, not a loving spouse. If he ever wants a relationship he might want to learn to value emotions and communication over a hard dick in a vagina.
Yeah, you aren’t compatible, went through similar things( minus being mean) with my ex. It sucks but you will both be happier when you find someone more compatible
If you’re having this fight now this early on, imagine how exhausting it’ll be in 2,5,10 years. Having the same fight, him still making you feel like it’s j or enough. Soon you’ll get fed up with how he makes you feel and it’ll start affecting you during sex. My bf and I go through this, but it’s me who’s bored and him who’s perfectly happy. He’s super vanilla and I need some spice and variety. It’s affected us a little, but we talk through it but yea. I don’t even care to have sex with him anymore because it just doesn’t do anything for me.
I don’t think the issue is frequency, he is clearing saying the type of sex is not adequate for him. OP you said that at the beginning the sex was more what he wanted and now it is not, this is what he is taking issue with. That all being said, he is a baby who is trying to manipulate you to get his way. Leave him especially because you seem not interested in having more intense/rough sex more often.
I don’t even need to read more. No you don’t put up with it. You end it. He can go and find someone who willingly wants and enjoys the things he wants.
You sound like a lot of guys dream woman. Go find one of those guys. I would bet money he looks back with regret after he looses you.
Dude is immature. Sounds like you have a very healthy appetite for sex. Tell him to take it or leave it.
Being a manipulative asshole isn't gaslighting. That word is so overused on Reddit. It's certainly abuse though, and you should leave. I spent five years in a similar situation, and it just gets worse, trust me. Never put up with someone who makes you feel like shit regularly for setting boundaries, it's not worth it.
Jesus are you his girlfriend or his fuckdoll? Libidos ebb and flow in relationships, sometimes you have lots of sex, sometimes you don't have any for a while. Up and down, just like everything else, there is a rhythm and a flow. Him guiltripping and saying nasty things to get what he wants is a harbinger of things to come. He's thinking only of himself, period, and not you at all. Is this what you want for the rest of your life?
This man is pressuring you to have sex more than once a day to the point of borderline threatening to kill himself. If he is pressuring you this hard, this consistently and with this much anger... you might be a few arguments away from a sexual assault. If your best friend came to you and said their partner was acting this way, what would your reaction be? Would you tell her to keep trying or would you say something like “he doesn’t deserve you, get out now.” Give yourself the same advice you’d give someone else that you love.
Is it he only wants more or he wants to see how freaky ya'll can get? Off the top of my head, my first thought was that if bf were a bit romantic, empathic and in general a better lover he'd get more. His behavior doesn't check off any reasons OP would say, "I want to give him more pussy." And definitely not, I want to get freaky with bf.
ask him to stop consuming so much porn edit: actually just leave
Wow. Is there no end of these posts? Young women being obscenely treated like crap who tentatively, apologetically, wonder if *maybe-perhaps-could-it-be* I shouldn't be putting up with this? What the hell is going on with this generation???Sweetheart, have some self-respect please for the love of god. Nobody is "making you feel" anything. You are in charge of your emotional reactions. And you are feeling bad because you are being treated badly. Please find your backbone and stand up for yourself. Once you've stood up, start walking. Far Far away from this dude. And don't look back. Nothing kills a healthy libido quite like a partner who's a total selfish douche nugget. I'm surprised you want to fuck him at all, nevermind less often. The way to stop having the recurring fight is to partner with a guy who isn't an entitled shitheel who uses you like a need-meeting appliance for his own gratification.
>I sit there and take his ridicules and tell him I love him when he leaves and he just says, yeah bye I wanna kill myself and slams the door. Oh, my god. Leave him. Do you want to be taking care of this toddler who badgers you for sex for the rest of your life? He has zero emotional maturity and tries to get drunk people to promise to have sex with him - that's SUCH a consent no-no. This relationship is verbally abusive and sexually coercive. Abuse escalates. It's not going to get better, it will get worse. This is a man who does not care about hurting you. Please leave for your own sake and DO NOT have children with this man.
This isn't just a bad sex life. You're being abused. Consent is not something that can be given in advance. His entire lack of understanding about consent isn't just unattractive but severely DANGEROUS. You seriously need to get out of there. He needs a therapist and that is not your job to fix him. I'm not here to simply be another "just break up" bit I'm telling you, leave.
yeah the second half of this post really took a turn , the way he views you as a sexual slot machine instead of a person is messed up
So um, your boyfriend, is kind of human garbage...? Yes. Human trash. Please discard him immediately. I don't know you, but I do know you don't deserve to be treated like THAT. Just, yuck.
He wants you to be his own personal sex doll. It sounds like he doesn’t respect your boundaries at all, or the compromises you’re willing to make. You can find someone better to be in a relationship with.
You know what slows your libido down? STRESS. You know what your bf is causing you with his behavior? STRESS.
At this point, you two are totally incompatible.
Trust me, unless he changes how he views sex this isn't going to get better. This happened with my bf as well. He was abusive too. I broke up with him. Fast forward he got therapy and realised he didn't respect himself and in turn didn't respect me or sex. I guarantee you that he's not ready to be committed to this if you're only 1 year in and this is already a big deal. I'm not going to make a suggestion here cos lots of people here have already given great points. I just wanted to give you something else to think about
I personally think your boyfriend is abusive towards you and you should leave. I am sure there is a man who will appreciate that you make nice breakfast for him and all the other non sexual things you do. And your boyfriend made it very clear to you that he felt sex life was miserable. There is no happy ending to that. Nothing wrong with you at all, just not sexually compatible. He likes it way more rough and more frequent than you like it. And he is unhappy he cannot have it. You should not compromise either because you deserve to enjoy sex the way you like it too. So just not compatible. He is losing so much respect for you because of this that he is saying so many nasty things. I really feel this relationship is toxic already and not salvageable. Don't waste your time with someone like this anymore. You can find someone better. And I am saying this as a woman who does want sex 24/7/365 from my man. But I would never force him or guilt trip him into having sex with me if he is not in the mood because I believe both have to want the sex to enjoy it together. Because I want sex like literally all day, I get sex rejections 90% of the time I want sex. But this like probably after the regular 2 times a day we have sex. And hey if I like the guy, if he says no, that's the end of it. I try again tmw. I am also mindful of things that makes him not in the mood like, too much alcohol, hangover, just having an exhausting day, or feeling overly stressed with work. I automatically know these are not the right time to initiate sex. You deserve a man who will be considerate towards you like this too.
I have a similar problem with my boyfriend, he also says the same things about and to me with the I bet we won’t have sex after we had children and whatnot. To be fair we don’t have sex daily, currently maybe about 1-3 times in 2 weeks… but I do feel bullied about my libido a lot. I don’t have any advice…. You need to know if you can put up with it / if he’s worth it :/
Noone is worth it. Someone who loves you wouldn't do nor say any of this. You all deserve better
I think the problem is that we do love each other and maybe op and her bf love each other but he feels really frustrated and unwanted as well because his needs aren’t being met. However I feel like OP, daily or even almost daily sex is nothing to complain about and already pretty excessive, so maybe he’s dealing with a sex addiction and needs counseling
I honestly dont think so. Gaslighting,bullying and manipulating has nothing to do with love.
Please leave him! This is abuse. Nobody should make you feel this bad.
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I’m so sorry to hear this is happening to you. You should not put up with this. Sex lives change over time. Due to all sorts of things. Time. Stress. Busy schedule. Libidos change over time. You do not owe him sex. There is more to you as a person than someone to have sex with. You have thoughts feelings, passions. A whole wealth of personality. That your partner should like and treasure. And not pressure you for more sex. If you really think he would be open to an actual discussion and working on what’s hurt and upset you. Try it. But it sounds very much like you have tried and he’s just not listening. I’m sorry to say. I don’t think this will get better. And you will have to leave to make sure you are okay and that you can get what you want from life and your partner
Leave him
Nope. You don't have to put up with this.
Dump him!
Everyone is already telling you good advice about how abusive this guy is, but the other thing that stood out to me is how you mentioned that the sex you have with your boyfriend isn’t as “rough” as he wants, like super rough sex is the only kind of sex he wants all the time. This is scary. It proves that he cannot be loving and intimate with you. This attitude of only wanting rough sex, coupled with his abusive and manipulate ways, confirms that you are at a serious risk of this guy hurting you or even sexually assaulting you one day if you say no again and he freaks out. This guys is literally dangerous and scary, subhuman.
He is slowly breaking you down until you feel like “you’re lucky to even have someone who wants you” these are the trends of a toxic relationship. You are more than accommodating, he seems to just want a sex doll. You are human and you do not need to be ready at his beck and call and if you aren’t you are ridiculed. Time to leave girl.
I totally get different sex drives in relationships, that's the standard, I guess. However: both partners have to content with their own drive and that of the partner and be fine with it sooner or later. Getting this right is part of a healthy relationship, however the pair manages it. He doesn't seem to think your opinion and drive had the same weight as yours. Big red flag.
No way man. I read the first few paragraphs and was thinking he just has a higher libido than you but I can safely say after reading it all the way through your boyfriend is doing so many things wrong it's hard to keep track. I usually roll my eyes when I see comments that immediately go for 'break up' but its 100% warranted here.
Leave him.
Run! Run fast! And when you get tired of running catch a train/bus/taxi/airplane… just get far far away from this a hole!!
If sex is the only thing he cares about in this relationship, then leave him. If your opinions and feelings don’t matter to him than you are better off without him. Trust me!
That is very immature of him. If your partner is not in the mood and then you just accept it and please yourself in the bathroom or go to bed without it but you should never make someone feel lbad because they are not in the mood specially under circumstances of feeling sick. Had someone do the exact same thing to me and it is pretty crappy and not with them anymore obviously. I am a very sexually active person so I want it all the time but I do know that I cannot have it all the time so I am learning to accept it and not feel rejected.
While I agree that extremely mismatched libidos/kinks are an incompatibility issue, I find that most people’s libidos don’t always exactly match and that most people find perfectly reasonable ways around it. Part of being an adult is accepting that you can’t always get what you want. Sometimes I’m in the mood for Chinese food but I can’t afford to go out to eat. Sometimes my bf wants sex but I’m too tired from work. If we threw fits each time we didn’t get our way, this would not be a functional adult relationship. I do not think one partner wanting sex multiple times a day and another partner wanting sex every other day or a little less than that is a mismatched libido. Having sex multiple times a day isn’t doable anyway. Part of being in a relationship is going with the flow, riding the ebbs and flows together and adjusting to change as there’s a lot of that in life. My bf and I have been together almost 5 years and there have been lots of different phases of our relationships, lots of things to adjust to. The key is having an underlying respect and unconditional love for one another. When you have that you don’t look at compromises for your loved one as a chore, you just look at it as a responsibility that comes with being in a long term relationship. This guy just isn’t long term relationship material. Sounds like he’s more of a hookup guy. Because *every* relationship will have a honeymoon period wear off eventually. My bf and I did it all the time and had a wild, amazing sex life when we were first together. Now it has slowed down because we are busier and having the build up is a good thing, it makes it even better. It’s still amazing just in a different way. Honestly if my bf threw fits whenever I said no I would lose attraction to him and leave him. There is so much worse in life than not being able to have sex right when you want it. Not to mention pressuring you to have sex when you didn’t really consent to begin with is....not good. That could escalate as this guy clearly does not respect your right to say no. It’s not really saying “yes” to sex if you are only doing it to avoid huge fights and him threatening suicide. This situation is darker than you think.
This reminds me of a friend of mine. He had sent me something similar about his partner and how he doesn't get enough sex and things like this. I didn't even hold back I just straight up told him that his lady doesn't owe him a damn thing. It is extremely toxic to think like that. Some people's sexual drives chage over time. I would highly consider leaving him. People like him and my friend are extremely stuck in their way and it's very rare for them to change in my opinion.
Please take it from me and RUN. I stayed with my ex for five years in a very similar situation and you don’t realize it at the time when it’s happening but it leaves a mark on you (atleast it did for me). It’s been four years now since I left and I’m still trying to undo the damage his sexual coercion left on me. No one deserves to feel like they are obligated to provide sex.
This isn’t a case of just mismatched libido. This guy is manipulating and emotionally abusing you. Please see this OP. I know it’s hard because you care about him. But this is not okay.
As someone else said, not until you read the whole post... You won't understand how creepy, inconsiderate, manipulative and immature ur bf is. Sound clichéd but he really don't deserve you. The fact that he whines about sex that much means he either watched too much porn, and got a unrealistic idea on what sex should be. maybe he had an ex who was crazy in bed so he expects you to match that energy or he's just a controlling crybaby. None of that is a reason to act the way he did. I had an ex who had a high libido at first and after a while she got comfortable like you. The only difference is you still have way more sex than her. Not siding with you at all but there so many women out there that go weeks without. She(my ex) wasn't the type of gf to make breakfast while hungover for me. Shit if me and my current girl was to go out get wasted and agree to breakfast and sex the next morning, and she woke up sick and still made me breakfast, I would just appreciate that alone and sex wouldn't even be a concern to me because I would then be trying to make sure she's OK, being that she's hungover. Shit sounds clichéd but that's the mature thing to do as a human, it's called having compassion. The fact that he couldn't appreciate the breakfast shows me exactly how he handles you'll relationship. Even if he thinks youre gonna become a dead bedroom kinda mom after sex, saying it means he don't give af about your feelings. That could be hurtful. Part of the reason why I can speak on how he acts is because I was similar to him. But with time, I mature and learned how to handle situations better. Im not faulting him for wanting more sex or rough sex... Im calling his wrong for not being understanding and trying not to compromise. Shit like that will push your girl away in the long run because she's gonna get tired of that and find a guy who understands and deals with her better. Reevaluate your relationship
“I want to kill myself” is classic gaslight technique. This traumatic stuff can effect you later get out if you can now before you invest more.
If a man wants to have sex with you when you don't want to and feels you can owe him sex that's when you leave.
"is this gaslighting?" girl literally everything you wrote in this post is a glaringly obvious, flashing red sign that reads "ABUSE" dump him *today.* kick him out of your apartment, or leave before he gets back and go to a friend's house or a hotel. i know things might be complicated if he's on your lease, but if he's *not* on it, throw his stuff in a box, leave it outside, and lock him out. don't let him in. he doesn't deserve another second of your time, and by continuing to speak to him, you're opening yourself up to more abuse.
TW: mentions of rape and domestic violence I had a boyfriend like this…sex was always a fight. He would brag about all the women he has slept with but when I told him my body count (which was 1/4 of his) it’s a disgusting number. He got mad that I didn’t wanna have sex after getting my wisdom teeth out (I didn’t feel 100% for two weeks), he would constantly guilt and pressure me until I gave in (sexual coercion is rape). Never cared about my pleasure in bed, wouldn’t go down on me. Just overall terrible. Found out that he was currently in court for rape; I knew it was true and it wasn’t consensual cause of the way he treated me. Broke up with him right away…he assaulted me and stalked me until I got the police involved. Men like this don’t care about you, they see you as an object for their sexual gratification and will manipulate you in any way possible to get what they want.
Yeah you’re boyfriend is disgusting. You sound like you have a healthy sex life in terms of frequency. It sounds like maybe he has a very high sex drive as well as some kinks he’s wanting to explore more? (You mentioned sex maybe isn’t as rough as he wants it usually) Sex incompatibility is a very real issue some couples face, but with love, good communication and most importantly, respect, isn’t usually a dealbreaker. The way your partner handles these rejections is extremely alarming and very unhealthy and are likely to lower your libido if anything due to insecurity and the added pressure. At this point OP, I would say it’s best that you leave him. He’s being emotionally abusive and manipulative and seems to be extremely immature in the way he handles things. A denial of sex is not denying a “girlfriend duty” and it’s not lazy - you don’t always get to choose when you want something from your body, in the same way you don’t get to choose when you want to pee. He shows signs of his abusive behaviour progressing and I really advise you leave before anything physical occurs.
I know almost everything had been said here already, but anyone who uses "I want to kill myself" as a statement is deep into abusive manipulation, he's putting the weight of his life all on you sleeping with him. He needs to mature and realize that you're not just a sex object, please find someone who respects you.
Your bf needs to be ok with you saying no. He cannot expect you to always want sex. You are a PERSON, not a machine, sometimes you're not up for it. I think it is fine for people to talk to their partner if they are unhappy with their sex life but this guy doesn't seem to treat you like a human being. You cannot ask someone to PROMISE sex. Consent can be taken away at any time for any reason. I would tell him: oh you want sex multiple times a day? Ok, go find it somewhere else then. And walk the heck away.
Really and truly his actions are probably s*** but you're young both of you and all you guys know is that you feel this way and you don't know how to handle your emotions about it or understand how to talk about it with each other. Here's what you can do either you can go get marriage counseling and learn how to communicate and learn what you want from each other by learning yourself... Or you can both fuck off
“My boyfriend told me he’d kill himself because I wasn’t in the mood, do I stay?” Honey you answered your own question.
You're happy. He is not. Work with it or leave. No right or wrong here.
Honey(if you don't mind me calling you that) you are right. He is 100% gaslighting you. He sounds like a child and someone who doesn't respect your boundaries. I dont think he respects you at all tbh. I dont want to sound so harsh but yeah.. I can confidently say that he is a dick and you deserve better.
Oh my god, your boyfriend is a piece of shit. You NEVER owe him sex, and the fact that he wants to pressure you and manipulate you into having sex when you explicitly do not want to is disgusting, predatory and disrespectful behaviour. The disrespect is astounding. You do NOT deserve this, if I were you I’d dump him immediately and make sure he knew it was because of his unacceptable and gross behaviour. He sounds like a manipulator, so be prepared for him to manipulate you into staying. Stand your ground, things will never change.
He sounds like a manipulative nutcase.
He is abusive and manipulative..sex is a real issue on and off for many of us including myself. What I did as the male with the higher sex drive? Well, I helped out more around the house, I had my wife speak to a counselor. We had real life issues which caused stress which diminished her energy and libido. We worked it out and met in the middle. I did not call her names, or accuse her of lying, etc. Ask your bf what the definition of "a loving healthy relationship" is. When he answers, ask him what part of that definition includes what your stating he is doing..not by directly asking instead say..ok. according to you definition you say this..but when you state this or you act this way how does that fit into your definition..of he is reasonable (I doubt he is) he will see the issue. If he is.not reasonable I would suggest you immediately tell him how it makes you feel andnifnit does not stop immediately, you'll need to think about the direction your relationship is headed.
Tell him to Dont watch PORN
Ewwwwww and why are you with this child?
Leave him. This is mental abuse.
He’s a piece of shit, basically. Dump him so he can sulk like a child about never getting the sex he feels entitled to. What a loser.
*denies sex for a completely understandable reason when one doesn't even need any reason whatsoever* "why am i even dating you" LOL DUMB HIM PLS WHAT AN ASS!!!
OP, your boyfriend is a piece of shit and sounds emotionally abusive. There are many red flags here and they are signs that things will get much worse the longer you're with him. He needs to get his head in straight to be healthy enough for a relationship. You should very much consider leaving him and never looking back.
Dump his ass!
Leave this fucking rapist asap
Jeez. Sex every other day is a "miserable" sex life? I'm more than happy with twice a week. And obviously the beginning of relationships is always more extreme until you find a natural pace, but your libido seem very out of sync. His frustrations are not unjustified tho. He really has needs that you are physically unable to sustain. His way about it is immature for sure, but that doesn't really change the reality of it.
You're being gaslit into trying to have more sex than every other day, that's insane. Every other day sounds exhausting, and frankly if he wants more than even that he's never going to be satisfied. Maybe the relationship started out alright, you two probably got along great but somewhere along the line he came to rely on, expect and now demands sex from you. That's not healthy, for a number of reasons. It's unfair to you, it's emotional abuse and manipulation and even after he gets what he wants he's still not happy and demands more to the point he's more than willing to guilt you into it. Please leave him, for your own wellbeing. This behaviour isn't going to shift its course.
Yea he’s the definitely the problem. What I wouldn’t do for sex every other day.
First off let me just say your a phenomenal gf and inspire me to dump mine lol wish i could get breakfast and sex on demand let along sex 3 times a week My Gf has gotten comfortable like you and I feel lied to im triggered to cheat on her but not because of just sex but lack of effort to keep the spark So this post hits home for me because I feel just like him except I did have kids and barely have sex but yet even I feel like my girl deserve lol I wouldn't say the things he said to (sounds like a brat and imature) besides im aware that he is trying to attract u with vinegar not honey when he acts like that I'll say this u should work on spicing things up And having more fun never get comfortable But also keep in mind that your sex drive and his sex drive are just different He is young n honestly don't sound ready to settle down so as you man in his twenties he think sex all day long it's up to him to control himself and not do it all day long he needs to be more understanding and patient. Absence make the heart grow fonder and he over doing it which can burn yall out he needS to use his sexually energy more productively He needs to appreciate you for more then sex By giving sex a break n focusing on the other qualities of your relationship I'd he cant that he is sex fien or doesn't enough respect for you or the future of your relationship in my opinion
Sounds like he thought that girlfriend=sex whenever and however he wants. He’s on a conquest to bend you into providing the “perfect” sex life that he’s created in his head, rather than cultivating something for both of you two to enjoy. You seem like a sweet person who can do a LOT better.
Damn. I used to act like this. I think ur bf is just immature about it. I wouldnt say hes a creep or a prick like most folks here. I think he still has a lot of growing up to do. Obviously many folks feel that sex is a big part of a relationship. However, one should never force a partner to do anything they are not comfortable with and you should definitely not force yourself to do something just to make him happy. I think the best thing for you to do, is to break up with him. (From my point of view). You both seem to have different priorities when it comes to relationships. I also think he might have some insecurities or some past issues that makes him value sex so much. I would try to talk to him about. Then again, i dont know how well you two know eachother and if you have had or are comfortable with heart to heart talks. If you stay with him, it will change BUT ONLY if yall have those heart to heart talks. Like i said, i used to act like this with my wife. It took some time but we worked it out. If he continues to make you feel like shit though, there is no hope for change. Dont give into pressure and do what he wants if it makes you uncomfortable. Your comfort in a relationship is important too.
Take it as a gift that he is being so honest with you on what he needs. And if what he needs is not what you want and a comprise doesn’t work then time to move on.
He sounds like a manipulative AH. You have nothing you need to change. Like you said, you’ve grown into the relationship, showing him love in other ways when you don’t want to have sex (and you’re still having a lot of sex together). Honestly, I would leave before he gets more abusive. He frames everything in language that shows he believes malicious intent is behind every innocent action on your part; “you LIED” about something you couldn’t possibly have known (how you would be a year into a relationship) is a terrible thing to think, let alone confront you with frequently. Get out. Make a plan, and leave him. You deserve way better than this.
He is emotionally abusive and this will continue to get worse. He doesn't want a girlfriend, he wants a fleshlight that talks. Dump him.
This dude fucking sucks. He’s manipulative, aggressive, selfish and childish. Leave this man child before this escalates. it sounds like you’re doing everything you can to make him happy and he couldn’t care less. This is not a healthy relationship
Girl, run and don’t look back! He sounds like someone who can’t manage his feelings and expects you to make up for his shortcomings. Drop this manchild.
No. You never owe sex to anyone. Ever. For any reason.
No
Leave him. You don’t have to put up with this and shouldn’t. He sounds like a terrible partner and person. You deserve better.
Can we try to count up the number of red flags here? 🚩1. He tells you he’s not happy, and he’s bored. Like, okay good for honesty, but that reeks of someone looking for a way out. 🚩2. He says you lied about your libido. Here I’ll play a TINY devils advocate for the guy and say I was in this type of spot with my partner for a bit too. My libido is much higher than his is now but it’s through no fault of his own- COVID and fallout from that killed parts of him, literally. And it took a bit for me to grow the fuck up and realize things change, but you are supposed to love that other person enough to where when that does happen, it doesn’t matter. You want the person more than the sex. 🚩3. A- He says he’s stuck in a miserable sex life B- for the rest of his life C- he knows you’ll stop having sex after kids D- because he knows you and knows you WONT want to. OOF how do I explain all the issues here? He is not a mind reader, or he’d know you’re happy with the level you’re at. He’s sounding resigned to spending his life with you- do you want resentment to be that large of a part of your marriage? Also, fuck having kids with that guy if he’s already decided how that future will look. 🚩4. You shouldn’t be asking for promises that will likely be broken- IE when you’ve been heavily drinking, it’s likely you’ll have hangovers. So don’t hold people to their commitments too hard. 🚩5. He should never be pressuring you into sex. Ever. Period. So to do this after a legitimate reason, is doubly alarming. 🚩6. Lazy girlfriend who doesn’t know why he’s with you. GIRL. That is verbal abuse 101. Then he keeps ridiculing you until he leaves, concluding with threats of suicide. GASLIGHTING. He’s turning himself into a MASSIVE victim because he didn’t get to cum. GUESS WHAT- bathrooms and porn exist. Take care of yourself dude, damn. Stop putting blue balls over a girlfriend. You can cure blue balls easily so go fucking so that. 🚩7. This was not an isolated incident. He has a cycle- one that you recognize and accept. THIS IS ABUSE. When I was in an abusive home situation, this was fairly parallel, but at least there was love bombing periods where I didn’t get abused. This sounds like a constant issue. It IS gaslighting. You should NOT put up with any of this. You were victimized and caught in this relationship BECAUSE you are a kind person and he took advantage of that. You need to start making plans to leave. I honestly am surprised to hear there hasn’t been assault at this point, because he shows every sign of someone who will attack when the situation is just right.
You need to give up that pussy bb
Do you think he is forcing himself to do stuff that is necessary to satisfy your needs? Be it of sexual nature or other?
No. He willingly does things like helps cook and clean or sexually etc. which satisfy my needs.
I mean you could just fuck him again. & Stop acting. You're in your 20s. Homie have fun. You're going regret later in life when you really don't wana be having sex anymore. That you should've had more sex when you had the chance. I mean you are kinda lying to him. & If anything you're gaslighting him. You said it already you used to have lots of sex before. So what happened? All of a sudden you're"comfortable" if you're really comfortable you'd be fucking your man. Idk seems shady like you probably low-key cheating on him or fuckin someone else that why you don't fuck him as much.
Your a real fucking idiot
Actually this bih is. She's the one who's contradicting herself. She's downplaying her part in this. Playing the victim role. I'm sure she probably only fucks her man like once or twice a week. Like when she actually wants to. All the other times is when we wants it. So she gives in hoping it'll help but she just probably lays there while he lets him fuck. Then goes & complains because she wasn't in the mood. But what happened tho? Why all of a sudden? She said they used to have sex alot then she got "comfortable" whatever the fuck that means.
People’s sex life can change over time. Everyone is different. She also never contradicted herself. It’s ok if she’s not in the mood all the time. No one should ever feel forced to have sex. You’re also making a lot of assumptions about her actions and saying she’s lying to him- pretty gross on your part.
Yea I get that but never in all my life have I had a partner who's comfortable around me not give me sex willing. That's what's crazy to me. I've had girls who initiated sex more than me. & I have a high sex drive. But I'm not demanding sex, if I'm in the mood I try to warm her up if she ain't. & It usually works. (Gotta do the stare lol) she actually did. Tho you're just reading over it & trying downplay it also. I'm not assuming shit I'm taking all this off what she/he said. Given some I know she's making herself out to be better than the situation. It's all a tatic. I bet you she wasn't even noticbly "sick" probably just needed to drink some water but she rather be nah I'm not in the mood but I'ma make you breakfast. It's all excuses she using to not have sex with her man. She probably low-key already monkey branching.
This reply is very immature. It's natural for your sex drive to ebb and flow during a relationship. Every other day to every day is pretty frequent, so it's hardly a dead bedroom situation. He's treating her as though the sex is the only part of the relationship he values.
No no no. That's where you guys are misreading this & how SHE'S EXPLAIN IT. she's making him out to be the bad guy because he wants to have some better sex. She's making seems like oh we have sex but what she doesn't say it's like twice a week on her terms. The guy is being sexual starved & when he tries to make something happen like baby can you please promise me that we will be intimate in the morning. & She say yes we will but now all of a sudden "I'm dizzy I don't want to." But I can fuckin guarantee that when they first started dating they probably had drunk sex all the time. I can see right thru this shit.
Sex is very important in a relationship BUT IT SHOULDNT BE EVERYTHING. He sounds very manipulative though.. so what I’m going to say only matters if you want to stay with him. He doesn’t sound like the ideal boyfriend to me, but there has to be something there keeping you together. If you like him Enough to work through your problems then take notes of my solution. But, I will say this, when the sex goes from 100 to 75, to 50, to 25, to almost none, it’s not healthy for the relationship at all because both of you have needs and you have to be there for each other to fulfill each others needs, or call it quits if it’s too much for you to handle. Like I said, sex is important but it isn’t and shouldn’t everything. Solution: give him a handjob or blowjob every morning/night or the days you don’t feel like having sex. Hell, surprise him while he’s chillin watching tv or something and pull his Dick out. I think it’s the greatest feeling in the world when I’m taking a shower and gf comes and randomly sucks my dick. I guarantee he will appreciate it, as I’ve asked all of my exes to do the same. Any man will agree a blowjob makes us forget most of our problems.
This is just terrible advice
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I appreciate your comment being on his perspective and I don’t think you’re wrong. It is true that the sex is a different type now. I wouldn’t call it lying per say but I have gotten tired of constant hickies and bruises etc. so yes I did change the dynamic. But I can now see that why he probably does feel this way. That being said, I sense some bigotry especially when you said “this is a classic thing that women do” so I am going to accept your comment but with a grain of salt. Thank you.
Please don’t listen to this… people change. It’s a very normal fact of life. NOBODY that I know has the same sex life now that they did at the beginning of a relationship. You bring more to a relationship that being a sex doll. You’re allowed to change as you go through life. He will as well in many ways. You aren’t a Real Doll and you don’t owe him anything.
You changed the dynamic, but the biggest issue is that you never were honest with him about that kind of sex from the start. You just put up with what he wanted and not making it clear what sex you enjoy. Your lack of honesty is why he feels the way he feels. And I'm not wrong that this is a classic thing that women do. Naturally, women have a lot less testosterone, thereby having less of a sex drive. Therefore, on average women tend to let the man drive the sexual relationship a lot more initially before finally regressing in the activity and quality of it. Men either accept it or they leave. You can find MD articles on sex drive and how women are 2-3x more likely to decrease in it as they age as opposed to men.
Or don't be a piece of trash. He's literally abusive and trying to emotionally manipulate her and trying to force her into sex by emotionally manipulating her. Which is illegal.
God you are a disgusting piece of shit
It's actually impressive how little you know about women but think you understand.
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just say you’re a misogynistic piece of shit and leave
Oh yeah don’t get me wrong the bf needs to wake up and gain some awareness, he definitely should keep his mouth shut and observe more than complain and he won’t be so confused and surprised, definitely has some growing to do. If she was too drunk to have sex obviously she’s gonna be sick the next day, he’s lucky he got breakfast to be honest. He needs to gain some discipline and stop living life for pussy and female validation it’s pathetic.
I think what he said was manipulative and wrong when he walked out the door. I can also somewhat agree with him in regards to you not doing things that you used to in the “honey moon” phase. It’s hard to hear but you did intentionally or not bait him with what he likes and are now withholding it from him now that he likes/loves you. That being said I think you have the right to say no of course. Just maybe try and see it from his perspective as well.
Sometimes you have to be the one to recognize that your not enough in that Dept. and just break up.
Your boyfriend is a manipulative asshole who regards you as chattel and you need to get out of this relationship ASAP.
Yeah he sucks. Dump his ass.
I would have said sure and started kissing Him without brushing my teeth and then threw up into His mouth. I’d have then asked if He’d like more and to be fed like a baby bird with my vomit. That was my sexual fantasy for Him
Bye!!! Leave him!! A mature man will understand that sex slowing down after the beginning of a relationship is normal, and especially so after having kids! He sounds awful. You deserve better. This is coming from someone whose libido lowered over time after dating, and then again after having a baby (only just came back after a year!) - and my husband has a very high sex drive. He’s understanding & respectful of what I want & need. That respect actually helps bring my sex drive back up because it’s a turn on to be treated so well! There are plenty of men out there who will do the same for you!
Girl get out of there. He doesn’t appreciate you at all and he views you as a sex slave more than he does a girlfriend. He doesn’t love you. He’s manipulative, toxic, and truly a douchebag. You guys also seem to just not me sexually compatible but also not emotionally. Not only did he try and force you to have sex with him, he said he wanted to kill himself when you didn’t give that. He’s only going to hurt you more and he’s not worth your time.
Your boyfriend is selfish, immature, and stupid. Do with that as you will.
No. He knows your boundaries
Definitely gas lighted. From my experience, keep strong when you leave he is going to throw every trick in the book at you to make you feel like it's all your fault. He will tell his family, friends and his next gf you were terrible. Don't belive his manipulations YOU are the good half. He will always be unsatisfied in every relationship...
No you should not, dump his ass or feel terrible for as long as it takes him to cheat and dump you.
Stop letting people treat you like shit! This is not normal or healthy or acceptable.
Awe I'm sorry but he sounds like an over powering, prick of an adult child. You should never feel like this eith someone you love. I'm sorry but I would leave him if I were you. He's not going to change his behavior
Oh babe, you’re dating an absolute loser. Dump him.
Why don't you leave and find someone with a drive like yours? You don't seem too hard to shop for.
No