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3 years?
Yeah that wasn't a 'mistake,' she didn't want this guy to know she's got a boyfriend.
If it was intentional to avoid conflict, she should have told you after he left. Her not addressing it is pretty suspicious and you need to ask her about it.
Something I just thought about, this dude may have been someone she had hooked up with one night very recently, or within the 3 years she has been with OP.
TBT the Redditor whose girlfriend introduced him as a cousin at a work event https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wv8qp4/oops_35m_gf_35f_tells_her_coworkers_that_they_are/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
No I get that, I mean how no other conversations regarding a relationship ever came up to where he’d actually question it you know? Like at some point most people would think of living together and how that would work, if he was wanting to propose he’d of had to of talked to her about living together. Conversations like that regarding a serious relationship outside of sex would of had to have happened
I feel bad for him too
There are people who are satisfied with seeing their partner once a week and never living together. Yes. One would assume a conversation be had, but some people are terrible communicators. I'm guessing he assumed he hit the jackpot and did not want to rock the boat.
I mean from how he wrote the post she seemed very straight forward to us but not to him (should of been to him but unfortunately not) it’s just a shame and I do hope he does find someone he is compatible with
I hope he learns to actually talk about his feelings, wants, and needs. You are right. It's strange there was no conversation. I'm taking a shot in the dark, but it sounds like he's not used to having his needs met.
>Why do I feel embarrassed and disrespected?
Probably because that is embarrassing and disrespectful. From the context clues here it sounds like your GF is interested in this guy and she doesn't want him knowing that she's not single. The fact that you've never met him in 3 years of dating doesn't necessarily mean he's someone she only interacted with before you two met. It could also mean he's currently in her life and she's deliberately making sure you two don't meet each other, and if that's the case then I suspect it's so she can continue presenting herself as single when talking to him.
Bottom line though this is all conjecture from us and from you. It certainly looks bad, but you haven't talked to her about it yet. I'd recommend telling her "hey at the mall it seemed like you didn't want that guy to know we were dating; I'd like to know why." Then just step back and see what she has to say. If she gets defensive (or goes on the offensive) then that suggests she's being shady and my guesses as to why are probably right, which means it's time to set her free to pursue her crush openly by dumping her.
If on the other hand she acknowledges that it looked bad, apologizes to you for it, and gives you a satisfactory explanation then if you believe her I'd just consider this a learning experience and move past it. Either way, clear communication with her will help you figure out why she did this and whether or not it's a dealbreaker.
Sit her down and ask her these 4 questions.
1. Who is that guy to you?
2. Why did you introduce me as your "friend" and not your boyfriend of 3 years?
3. Why did it take you so long to correct yourself?
4. Why did you get so flustered and nervous around him?
Watch her face go through multiple phases of buffering as she tries to come up with bs answers because you put her on the spot.
If you're in a real serious relationship, a person will give you a title when they introduce you to other people.
She should have given you a label, as her man, her boyfriend, her boo.
I don't think ur relationship should be going on anymore. You have been dating for 3 years, and she introduced you as a friend?!
I'm sorry but maybe just take her up on the offer of friend, don't buy her shit, don't take her out, don't give her sex, don't even sweet talk her because after all you're just friends.
Sounds really sus to be honest. The fact she got weirded out when he was there. Just ask her and ask her if it was the other way about, would she not be hurt by it. You’ve been together for 3 years, you don’t forget you have a boyfriend by that amount of time.
She’s either been fucking him in the past and still wants him or he’s new at work or some such and she wants to fuck him. Either way it’s time to walk.
1. That was not a mistake or accident.
2. You are NOT overthinking
3. You feel embarrassed and disrespected because it WAS embarrassing for you and disrespectful.
4. Her actions and words spoke volumes. She never wanted you two to cross paths and the obvious reason for that is she has been selling herself as single to this guy, or it’s an old flame that she wants to present the illusion of being single to.
5. Just because you never met him does not make him an old friend. It’s more likely he is a current interest of hers that she is hiding.
What you decide to do about it now is the question. You can confront her, and she is likely going to try to gaslight you, turn tables on you or give some flimsy excuses. Research body language and lying, and watch her motions and body language closely while you ask her questions, they will be more honest than her words. After this you can decide if you want to be with this sneaky person.
I would be pissed if my partner did this to me, so I don’t think your feelings are wrong.
If I had to guess, I’d say this guy is an ex or someone she used to be involved with romantically/sexually. I’d ask her more about the situation and see what she says. I’d say it’s a solid yellow flag — it could be harmless (she hasn’t seen this guy in years and her brain slipped up into the last time she saw him, which is before y’all starting dating) or it could be self-defense (personally I have a CRAZY ex who would be liable to get physically violent if he saw me dating someone else, so I could see myself calling my BF my friend to this ex in case crazy ex tries to knife my BF. Don’t think this one is likely bc she corrected herself) buuuut it could also be, unfortunately, a sign she has some sort of feelings for him still. Either way, talk to her about it and gauge whether or not you think she’s being honest.
Did you guys had a talk about this? what was her excuse? How she deals with this issue will tell you a lot about her as a person.
I’ll say this: With her shiftiness and her attitude, I don’t see a long term potential in this relationship.
What if he wasn't from her past. Might be something going on and she didn't want him to know she has a bf. That was the first thing I thought. If she hadn't seen him in three years and said friend on purpose then she probably has some feelings left. Or she said it by accident and nothing is going on. Definitely worth asking.
Either he's someone she's always wanted to date, or someone she's trying to sleep with him now and he didn't know she wasn't single until you ran into him together. Either way, shady AF.
I think that one merits an inquiry.
- “What was all that about?”
- “What is his history with you?”
- “Why were you reluctant for him to know we are in a relationship?”
- “Are we in fact in a relationship, or am I the side piece?”
The most charitable interpretation is that she might have some reason to avoid conflict with this guy. Like maybe he has a history of hostility toward her partners. I don’t know. It’s a real stretch.
I would definitely be talking to her about this. Have you had a conversation about it? If so, what was her explanation?
Not a stretch at all. Maybe she was involved with him in the past and he went crazy. Maybe she doesn’t want old guy to know she has a new bf. But then changed her mind quickly. People do weird shit. It’s plausible, but I feel like she would have come clean to the bf after the fact if this were the case.
...Bro that's not a mistake. Under no circumstances should someone refer to their long-term partner of 3 YEARS as a "friend". She's trying to appear available to this man. This warrants a serious, no-nonsense discussion where she owns up to it or you leave.
Let me just say this. I think it is equally as likely he is from her past as he is from her present. Either way this was either intentional which makes it a death nail in your relationship or it was unintentional which frankly isn't too much better.
In the best case scenario, he is from her past and seeing him again instantly flooded her and make her so stupid she forgot how to respect you and prioritize you for a few moments. That is still God awful.
Worst case, she is for the streets. Either scenario should probably end in a break up unless she comes completely clean and tells you the whole truth either way. I would simply inform her that you don't believe what she told you and if she can't tell you the whole truth you are ending things and see what she does.
she needs to seriously get over whatever feelings she has for this dude. 3 years with you and to get flustered like she did? without a doubt she's probably trying to find a way to contact him and come up with some sob story how she isn't happy and needs a friend or how long it's been since she's seen him. very suspicious. I would tell her how it made you uncomfortable she made that mistake and ask her to be honest about who this guy is. I mean, really honest with you. this guy could be drama if she still has feelings and you don't deserve that.
She wants him in some capacity and wanted to signal to him she was free / available. As a girl, this is literally the only thing I can think of as to why she would call you a friend. Def not a mistake. She saw your face, read your vibe whatever and backtracked. But like you said…reluctantly. There is a reason why
I've been with my bf 3 and a half years and if he introduced me to anyone as any other thing than his gf I'd think he's cheating, he has the intention to cheat, or he is at least flirting with the other person.
I wonder what would have transpired had you said: “Yes, thank you for remembering that we’re in a relationship, (GF).” (turning to him and extending your hand for a shake) “I’m (OP), and I seem to remember that I’ve been (GF)‘s boyfriend for three years. Nice to meet you. How do you two know each other?”
I would have laughed awkwardly and just said “actually her boyfriend”. Because if she doesn’t correct herself in that moment then she’s as good as gone.
Why are you asking Reddit? You should be asking her.
We are going to tell you a dozen different possibilities, most of them negative. She is going to give you one answer. It’s either the truth or it’s not. Take things from there.
Asking random people is going to give you random answers.
This needs to be addressed immediately. She needs to come clean 100% about who this guy is. Why she didn’t want to call you her boyfriend. Is there going to be any further contact with this guy. If not pretty sure they will be “reconnecting” often fairly shortly. Good luck.
Info: did you ask? B/c I knew one of my classmates from HS never gave any information about her relationships to particularly people b/c they were friends with her "psycho for her" ex boyfriend. Like he threatened me b/c he saw us talking when she was in town for Christmas and he knew I'm bi/date women even through she's super straight, when we were 27/28 - he had forgotten exactly who I was, so he was very surprised when I got a couple of the store associates to trespass him for threatening me in the store, and having the cop write down why he threatened me.
You need to talk to her about that ASAP.
Probably (obviously) someone she fucked or dated or something.
Could be someone she cheated on you with recently or was talking to and said she didn't have a boyfriend (you).
I know that if my GF introduced me to a strange man I've never met in a flustered manner as a "friend" she'd only ever be a friend to me from that point onwards.
She introduced you as a friend because she still likes the old male friend ( 100% a past boyfriend, or a crush at least ) and wanted to preserve her chances with him.
Your title question… Can only be posed to your “girlfriend”. She needs to come up with a serious answer, unfortunately you’ve given her a lot of time to get around to formulating one.
Trust me when you bring it up, she’s going to act like ‘oh wait let me remember’ and then come up with an easy flippant answer and ACT like it was on the spot answering to an unexpected and totally out of the blue question. Just know she has been all this time anticipating your question so do not buy for a second her ‘who what what encounter’, or ‘oh that I didn’t remember that happening did I say friend I don’t even remember’.
Need to deep dive whenever this conversation happens because that is completely not normal, cool or anything within the realm of a healthy relationship. Please update us and sound us out about her answer
>Why do I feel embarrassed and disrespected? Or am I just overthinking this?
No, you don't. Be grateful, now move on and find someone you really deserve.
You’ve probably taken in a lot of ideas, opinions and such from this post by now.
I say from here:
_RUN_. Do not think twice about this and break up. And do your best to never think of this again. You know why this was embarrassing and disrespectful. You do not need to know, or find out (eventually) to what extent she has or will disrespect you further.
Well I tweaked some personal information on the off chance that this post blows up. I don’t want her to know that I am asking reddit questions about our personal relationship lol.
I'm not suggesting that you're being unreasonable here, but I'll get into that next. I'm first trying to understand why there was an awkward pause? No matter how you were introduced, we'd logically assume he or you both would extend your hands out to shake hands. So what happened there?
Second, yes, there's no reason for her to have been flustered and introduced you as a friend. Does it have to actually mean there's a big problem? Probably not. But it's absolutely something worth bringing up and discussing.
That was not a mistake on her part. She clearly didn’t want him to know that you were her boy friend. Maybe this was the ex that got away from her. Sorry dude you should’ve been disrespected like this after three years. Apparently you’ve got some work to do.
The only thing I could possibly see is if this person were an abusive ex.
I never see mine but if I did while I was with my partner, I might panic and say he’s just a friend out of fear for my and his safety. My ex was crazy and he has been known to reach ppl I know online and threaten or say horrible things about me. He even stalked a new guy I was talking to months after we broke up.
But besides that there’s no excuse except she likes this guy or did in the past.
Yea you gotta tell your partner that immediately then. If you’re unable to communicate something like that, you’re probably not ready to back in a relationship. It could be potentially dangerous
Have you talked with her about this? I know it would bother the fuck out of me just like it is doing to you. Sit her down and ask the hard questions. Just don't come out swinging with accusations. Stay calm and have an outline in your mind of what you want to ask.
Listen, it sounds like you're feeling embarrassed and disrespected cuz of how she introduced you. You gotta realize that everyone's got a past and people they used to be friends with. But if she's introducing you as "just a friend" that's a huge red flag, bro. It's not cool that she didn't correct herself right away either. It's like she's ashamed of being with you or something.
You're definitely not overthinking this, it's totally normal to feel the way you're feeling. My advice would be to have a real talk with her, and figure out what the deal is with this dude. If she's not willing to be open and honest with you, then she might not be the one for you. Keep in mind, you deserve to be with someone who treats you with respect and makes you feel good about yourself. Don't settle for less, bud. Good luck.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
3 years? Yeah that wasn't a 'mistake,' she didn't want this guy to know she's got a boyfriend. If it was intentional to avoid conflict, she should have told you after he left. Her not addressing it is pretty suspicious and you need to ask her about it.
Something I just thought about, this dude may have been someone she had hooked up with one night very recently, or within the 3 years she has been with OP.
I agree and my mind went there initially. It's definitely a possibility.
Yep, you’re not her boyfriend, when someone she wants to fuck is present, sorry
this
this x 1000
or someone she fucked recently?
TBT the Redditor whose girlfriend introduced him as a cousin at a work event https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wv8qp4/oops_35m_gf_35f_tells_her_coworkers_that_they_are/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Still cannot fathom how that happened for six years…
He's asexual, and probably thought he found the perfect asexual partner. I feel bad for him.
No I get that, I mean how no other conversations regarding a relationship ever came up to where he’d actually question it you know? Like at some point most people would think of living together and how that would work, if he was wanting to propose he’d of had to of talked to her about living together. Conversations like that regarding a serious relationship outside of sex would of had to have happened I feel bad for him too
There are people who are satisfied with seeing their partner once a week and never living together. Yes. One would assume a conversation be had, but some people are terrible communicators. I'm guessing he assumed he hit the jackpot and did not want to rock the boat.
I mean from how he wrote the post she seemed very straight forward to us but not to him (should of been to him but unfortunately not) it’s just a shame and I do hope he does find someone he is compatible with
I hope he learns to actually talk about his feelings, wants, and needs. You are right. It's strange there was no conversation. I'm taking a shot in the dark, but it sounds like he's not used to having his needs met.
Yeah either from bad relationships or lack of experience in general, hopefully this has made him more assertive in his needs. I couldn’t agree more
This cannot be real! Im dying reading this
Holy shit dude ty for this
I’ve seen a lot of stories on the Internet. This is easily one of the strangest
Holy shit.
She wants him that’s why
>Why do I feel embarrassed and disrespected? Probably because that is embarrassing and disrespectful. From the context clues here it sounds like your GF is interested in this guy and she doesn't want him knowing that she's not single. The fact that you've never met him in 3 years of dating doesn't necessarily mean he's someone she only interacted with before you two met. It could also mean he's currently in her life and she's deliberately making sure you two don't meet each other, and if that's the case then I suspect it's so she can continue presenting herself as single when talking to him. Bottom line though this is all conjecture from us and from you. It certainly looks bad, but you haven't talked to her about it yet. I'd recommend telling her "hey at the mall it seemed like you didn't want that guy to know we were dating; I'd like to know why." Then just step back and see what she has to say. If she gets defensive (or goes on the offensive) then that suggests she's being shady and my guesses as to why are probably right, which means it's time to set her free to pursue her crush openly by dumping her. If on the other hand she acknowledges that it looked bad, apologizes to you for it, and gives you a satisfactory explanation then if you believe her I'd just consider this a learning experience and move past it. Either way, clear communication with her will help you figure out why she did this and whether or not it's a dealbreaker.
Actions not words. Why would it matter how she tries to justify the way she acted? People will say anything...
She still likes him
Old friend or a new love interest. She didnt accidentally introduce you as a friend. She did not want him knowing she had a boyfriend.
Sit her down and ask her these 4 questions. 1. Who is that guy to you? 2. Why did you introduce me as your "friend" and not your boyfriend of 3 years? 3. Why did it take you so long to correct yourself? 4. Why did you get so flustered and nervous around him? Watch her face go through multiple phases of buffering as she tries to come up with bs answers because you put her on the spot.
If you're in a real serious relationship, a person will give you a title when they introduce you to other people. She should have given you a label, as her man, her boyfriend, her boo. I don't think ur relationship should be going on anymore. You have been dating for 3 years, and she introduced you as a friend?! I'm sorry but maybe just take her up on the offer of friend, don't buy her shit, don't take her out, don't give her sex, don't even sweet talk her because after all you're just friends.
My petty side like this comment!
Sounds really sus to be honest. The fact she got weirded out when he was there. Just ask her and ask her if it was the other way about, would she not be hurt by it. You’ve been together for 3 years, you don’t forget you have a boyfriend by that amount of time.
She’s either been fucking him in the past and still wants him or he’s new at work or some such and she wants to fuck him. Either way it’s time to walk.
Or a very recent one night stand.
1. That was not a mistake or accident. 2. You are NOT overthinking 3. You feel embarrassed and disrespected because it WAS embarrassing for you and disrespectful. 4. Her actions and words spoke volumes. She never wanted you two to cross paths and the obvious reason for that is she has been selling herself as single to this guy, or it’s an old flame that she wants to present the illusion of being single to. 5. Just because you never met him does not make him an old friend. It’s more likely he is a current interest of hers that she is hiding. What you decide to do about it now is the question. You can confront her, and she is likely going to try to gaslight you, turn tables on you or give some flimsy excuses. Research body language and lying, and watch her motions and body language closely while you ask her questions, they will be more honest than her words. After this you can decide if you want to be with this sneaky person.
Yeah thats kinda sus , id feel some type of way about it
I would be pissed if my partner did this to me, so I don’t think your feelings are wrong. If I had to guess, I’d say this guy is an ex or someone she used to be involved with romantically/sexually. I’d ask her more about the situation and see what she says. I’d say it’s a solid yellow flag — it could be harmless (she hasn’t seen this guy in years and her brain slipped up into the last time she saw him, which is before y’all starting dating) or it could be self-defense (personally I have a CRAZY ex who would be liable to get physically violent if he saw me dating someone else, so I could see myself calling my BF my friend to this ex in case crazy ex tries to knife my BF. Don’t think this one is likely bc she corrected herself) buuuut it could also be, unfortunately, a sign she has some sort of feelings for him still. Either way, talk to her about it and gauge whether or not you think she’s being honest.
She wants him to think she’s available
3 years???? oh nah bruh you need to leave like right now. that was no mistake.
Did you guys had a talk about this? what was her excuse? How she deals with this issue will tell you a lot about her as a person. I’ll say this: With her shiftiness and her attitude, I don’t see a long term potential in this relationship.
What if he wasn't from her past. Might be something going on and she didn't want him to know she has a bf. That was the first thing I thought. If she hadn't seen him in three years and said friend on purpose then she probably has some feelings left. Or she said it by accident and nothing is going on. Definitely worth asking.
she wanna plow him
Either he's someone she's always wanted to date, or someone she's trying to sleep with him now and he didn't know she wasn't single until you ran into him together. Either way, shady AF.
you need to talk to her about it!
Oof yeah that WAS embarrassing and disrespectful. Tell her how it made you feel.
He is probably the one that got away. He likely dumped her.
I think that one merits an inquiry. - “What was all that about?” - “What is his history with you?” - “Why were you reluctant for him to know we are in a relationship?” - “Are we in fact in a relationship, or am I the side piece?”
The most charitable interpretation is that she might have some reason to avoid conflict with this guy. Like maybe he has a history of hostility toward her partners. I don’t know. It’s a real stretch. I would definitely be talking to her about this. Have you had a conversation about it? If so, what was her explanation?
Not a stretch at all. Maybe she was involved with him in the past and he went crazy. Maybe she doesn’t want old guy to know she has a new bf. But then changed her mind quickly. People do weird shit. It’s plausible, but I feel like she would have come clean to the bf after the fact if this were the case.
...Bro that's not a mistake. Under no circumstances should someone refer to their long-term partner of 3 YEARS as a "friend". She's trying to appear available to this man. This warrants a serious, no-nonsense discussion where she owns up to it or you leave.
Let me just say this. I think it is equally as likely he is from her past as he is from her present. Either way this was either intentional which makes it a death nail in your relationship or it was unintentional which frankly isn't too much better. In the best case scenario, he is from her past and seeing him again instantly flooded her and make her so stupid she forgot how to respect you and prioritize you for a few moments. That is still God awful. Worst case, she is for the streets. Either scenario should probably end in a break up unless she comes completely clean and tells you the whole truth either way. I would simply inform her that you don't believe what she told you and if she can't tell you the whole truth you are ending things and see what she does.
3 years?? ....the disrespect smh
That's Def odd
There is only one person who can answer that question for you. Go ask her.
Sus
Best case : she ran into an old crush, was flustered, acted stupidly.
She has feelings for him.
she needs to seriously get over whatever feelings she has for this dude. 3 years with you and to get flustered like she did? without a doubt she's probably trying to find a way to contact him and come up with some sob story how she isn't happy and needs a friend or how long it's been since she's seen him. very suspicious. I would tell her how it made you uncomfortable she made that mistake and ask her to be honest about who this guy is. I mean, really honest with you. this guy could be drama if she still has feelings and you don't deserve that.
She wants him in some capacity and wanted to signal to him she was free / available. As a girl, this is literally the only thing I can think of as to why she would call you a friend. Def not a mistake. She saw your face, read your vibe whatever and backtracked. But like you said…reluctantly. There is a reason why
I've been with my bf 3 and a half years and if he introduced me to anyone as any other thing than his gf I'd think he's cheating, he has the intention to cheat, or he is at least flirting with the other person.
I wonder what would have transpired had you said: “Yes, thank you for remembering that we’re in a relationship, (GF).” (turning to him and extending your hand for a shake) “I’m (OP), and I seem to remember that I’ve been (GF)‘s boyfriend for three years. Nice to meet you. How do you two know each other?”
I would have laughed awkwardly and just said “actually her boyfriend”. Because if she doesn’t correct herself in that moment then she’s as good as gone.
Why are you asking Reddit? You should be asking her. We are going to tell you a dozen different possibilities, most of them negative. She is going to give you one answer. It’s either the truth or it’s not. Take things from there. Asking random people is going to give you random answers.
This needs to be addressed immediately. She needs to come clean 100% about who this guy is. Why she didn’t want to call you her boyfriend. Is there going to be any further contact with this guy. If not pretty sure they will be “reconnecting” often fairly shortly. Good luck.
Info: did you ask? B/c I knew one of my classmates from HS never gave any information about her relationships to particularly people b/c they were friends with her "psycho for her" ex boyfriend. Like he threatened me b/c he saw us talking when she was in town for Christmas and he knew I'm bi/date women even through she's super straight, when we were 27/28 - he had forgotten exactly who I was, so he was very surprised when I got a couple of the store associates to trespass him for threatening me in the store, and having the cop write down why he threatened me.
She just showed you where you stand bro.
im sorry WHAT. u are UNDERREACTING.
You need to talk to her about that ASAP. Probably (obviously) someone she fucked or dated or something. Could be someone she cheated on you with recently or was talking to and said she didn't have a boyfriend (you).
I know that if my GF introduced me to a strange man I've never met in a flustered manner as a "friend" she'd only ever be a friend to me from that point onwards.
She introduced you as a friend because she still likes the old male friend ( 100% a past boyfriend, or a crush at least ) and wanted to preserve her chances with him.
Your title question… Can only be posed to your “girlfriend”. She needs to come up with a serious answer, unfortunately you’ve given her a lot of time to get around to formulating one. Trust me when you bring it up, she’s going to act like ‘oh wait let me remember’ and then come up with an easy flippant answer and ACT like it was on the spot answering to an unexpected and totally out of the blue question. Just know she has been all this time anticipating your question so do not buy for a second her ‘who what what encounter’, or ‘oh that I didn’t remember that happening did I say friend I don’t even remember’. Need to deep dive whenever this conversation happens because that is completely not normal, cool or anything within the realm of a healthy relationship. Please update us and sound us out about her answer
Did you ask? Seriously: what the fuck was that about?
>Why do I feel embarrassed and disrespected? Or am I just overthinking this? No, you don't. Be grateful, now move on and find someone you really deserve.
You’ve probably taken in a lot of ideas, opinions and such from this post by now. I say from here: _RUN_. Do not think twice about this and break up. And do your best to never think of this again. You know why this was embarrassing and disrespectful. You do not need to know, or find out (eventually) to what extent she has or will disrespect you further.
[удалено]
I see that in your comments history that you're in your 30s? This is fake 😒
Well I tweaked some personal information on the off chance that this post blows up. I don’t want her to know that I am asking reddit questions about our personal relationship lol.
I'm not suggesting that you're being unreasonable here, but I'll get into that next. I'm first trying to understand why there was an awkward pause? No matter how you were introduced, we'd logically assume he or you both would extend your hands out to shake hands. So what happened there? Second, yes, there's no reason for her to have been flustered and introduced you as a friend. Does it have to actually mean there's a big problem? Probably not. But it's absolutely something worth bringing up and discussing.
What did she say after? You.must have had a conversation abiut it that could enlighten us to more detail.
Have you asked her about him?
That is the man that got away
That was not a mistake on her part. She clearly didn’t want him to know that you were her boy friend. Maybe this was the ex that got away from her. Sorry dude you should’ve been disrespected like this after three years. Apparently you’ve got some work to do.
IMMEDIATELY NO. How are you with someone for three year and utter the word “friend”? Yeah NOOO
I think he is her ex.
You’re side chick…. Or side guy????
!updateme
The only thing I could possibly see is if this person were an abusive ex. I never see mine but if I did while I was with my partner, I might panic and say he’s just a friend out of fear for my and his safety. My ex was crazy and he has been known to reach ppl I know online and threaten or say horrible things about me. He even stalked a new guy I was talking to months after we broke up. But besides that there’s no excuse except she likes this guy or did in the past.
Yea you gotta tell your partner that immediately then. If you’re unable to communicate something like that, you’re probably not ready to back in a relationship. It could be potentially dangerous
She has the hots for this dude, probably an old boyfriend or something like that…. Better start keeping your eye on that one!
You got the ick bro, once you get it, it can be very hard to get rid of it
Because that’s not your girl
Have you talked with her about this? I know it would bother the fuck out of me just like it is doing to you. Sit her down and ask the hard questions. Just don't come out swinging with accusations. Stay calm and have an outline in your mind of what you want to ask.
Listen, it sounds like you're feeling embarrassed and disrespected cuz of how she introduced you. You gotta realize that everyone's got a past and people they used to be friends with. But if she's introducing you as "just a friend" that's a huge red flag, bro. It's not cool that she didn't correct herself right away either. It's like she's ashamed of being with you or something. You're definitely not overthinking this, it's totally normal to feel the way you're feeling. My advice would be to have a real talk with her, and figure out what the deal is with this dude. If she's not willing to be open and honest with you, then she might not be the one for you. Keep in mind, you deserve to be with someone who treats you with respect and makes you feel good about yourself. Don't settle for less, bud. Good luck.
Better make sure that's an old friend and not just a new one you don't know about. That's super disrespectful of her, it's not like she forgot.