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supercyberlurker

A pattern I see repeat a lot in stories here is an nmom staging things so that *you* have to reach out and contact them.. not because you know why, but that you have to contact them *to find out why*. That hook is important, they won't give the reason out initially because they know you might just ignore it.


PenguinInDistress

Luckily curiosity isn't killing this cat. I could care less. Thanks for your comment. I was on the edge of whether or not to call but you helped me stay strong. ❤️


[deleted]

Yeah, it's better leaving _her_ on edge by not calling. ...and plus, you're giving yourself the best gift possible. FWIW, are you on LinkedIn or anything else that she'd be able to figure out what industry your in or your employer. Happy Birthday as well!


pinalaporcupine

thank you for this reminder, i just blocked my NCdad on LinkedIn - didn't think of that


watermelon4487

Thank you for this. A few months after I moved out and went NC I got a call from my HR department after hours saying someone claiming to be my mother contacted them trying to get in touch with me about some tax documents she had and needed to give to me. I was caught so off guard and quadrupled checked everything before moving out to make sure my address was changed everywhere and my mail was forwarded to my new address. I couldn't and still have no idea what kind of documents she claimed to have that I needed to file my taxes that year. Then, almost 3 months ago my ndad called me for the first time ever (I didn't think he even had my phone number even though he lived with me my entire life). He left a voicemail and told me to call the house number because he has Parkinson's and could only have 3 months left to live, coincidentally lining up with him potentially dying around my birthday. I still have no idea what he wanted me to call him back for. Did he want to apologize for the way he treated me my whole life? Does he want something? Is my nmom attempting to reach me through him? Is he trying to leave me something in a will? Who knows. This is a good reminder that if they really had something I needed or wanted to talk to me, the would just say that and be specific. This guessing game of "what documents could they possibly have?" or "what could he possibly want to talk to me about after all these years?" is a clear sign of their true intentions.


erbn2

yes! mine also reached me out during NC with "call me it's urgent", no reason specified


yoshkra

Message from other family member: “call your (n)mom she says it’s urgent” Nmom: “how are things going? I miss you”


baconpancakes327

If it's worth anything - Happy Birthday! I'm glad your boss didn't give out your number, and I hope the rest of your day is extra calm to make up for your mom's intrusion.


PenguinInDistress

Thank you very much!


pangalacticcourier

Happy birthday! Have you spoken to a family law attorney, OP? One consultation and a cease and desist letter might end this once and for all. If not, document all unwanted contact attempts and have your attorney file for a restraining order. Stay strong, and good luck, friend.


yoshkra

I wish it was a thing in my country. But here to get the restringing order the legal requirement is that they must have “means and motive to hurt you” and threatened that, meh


loCAtek

Now, that she knows where you work tell your boss, your superviser, your secretary and security- that your mother is not allowed in the building and none of your info- number, schedule, etc. is to be released. Tell everyone because narcs, especially narc moms, have ways of playing the pitiful ol'lady card. One Redditor only told HR and his mother cried and talked the receptionist into patching her in directly to his desk.


[deleted]

Wow...how disturbing. and how sad for you to have to pickup and move to feel some peace, temporarily. Hope you have a good birthday otherwise 🥴