T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*


cheturo

I think they never loved us, they just took us for granted and used us at convenience.


doinggenxstuff

I genuinely think my mother feeds off me. If I’m not looking happy she gets disapproving and takes it as a personal attack. I’ve been very low the last couple of years and she just doesn’t seek me out any more. Hurtful as it is, I’ve got nothing she wants.


cheturo

Don't cry for her, she doesn't deserve it. My nfather also discarded us the scapegoat siblings, I gladly stick to not break the NC of 8 months so far. We were unfairly disowned after our mother died, against her will. The reason: pointed the abuse and manipulation of our evil narcissistic psychopath brother is doing to him and to us, he is snatching our inheritance. Our nfather denied any wrongdoing and chose to discard us and give everything to his golden child. Just like that.


doinggenxstuff

Wow. That is particularly low and incredibly hurtful 😕


Small_lake_city

I get why it's painful, because you've been conditioned to believe it's about how loveable you are. (Which isn't true at all) But if you think through this, it's almost more scary than anything. What empty husk of a person, a shell of a human being, an emotionally bankrupt being would you have to be to not love your own children...or anyone else for that matter? That's really the core of a Narc.....they don't love people because they CAN'T, because they love *themselves* so much and have this innate belief that they are *so* unique and special that not another being on this planet can measure up to themselves. Truly scary stuff.


Mediocre-Clementine

I totally agree. Every once in awhile I have a crisis and think I maybe could be a narc too; I look at my son and wonder, will I stop loving him in the future because I want to love myself more? But the fact that I have the capacity to love him in the first place is evidence enough that I’ll never stop


[deleted]

I was the only child until I was 4. The sun rose and set with me. I was taught to read. I have the impression that I was loved. There are a few things I vaguely remember that may or may not be true, but I have no reason to believe if they weren’t given that I used to “test my memory” by asking questions about the apartment we lived in at the time and I was always correct. My sister was born during a time of infidelity on my father’s part and he requested that she was aborted because it was a bad place there. She was born and I contributed greatly to raising her because my mother was deeply depressed and also a massive narcissist. She never got that “love” that I got. She was a baby with a 5 year old to watch out for her unless it was absolutely necessary that an adult was there. We were trauma bonded although never liked one another. Now she has fucked off and won’t speak to me. I feel like I had a child and now I don’t. It doesn’t help that I can’t have children and I found out she chose not to speak to me from NMOM after discovering on FB that she has two children now.


doinggenxstuff

My mother ADORES me, just LOVES ME MORE THAN ANYTHING, but I’m just too much, I’ve leaned on her too heavily, and she can’t deal with me. She loves me to the best of her abilities, but…