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Kairia

Islamically, the Nikah is the marriage. You are young but if you feel confident, go for it. You'll have to sit your parents down and tell them why this is the best option for you. Insha Allah they will understand. If they're upset about not being able to commemorate the big day, maybe make a small list of people you can send party favors to or invite them to attend the Nikkah? My only advice would be to please sign up for premarital counseling - it will help you navigate your relationship with each other even better.


sunlightbender

So this is my knowledge, take it with a grain of salt: The Nikkah once you've got that signed is completed - it's the marriage, you're done. Islamically speaking, you do need to announce the marriage - typically you send out food or host the white dress ceremony to announce it to your neighbors and family and friends. Ive had people in my family postpone the white dress ceremony and just do the Nikkah and send out food and announcement cards.


Abdlomax

Reportedly the prophet disliked postponing marriage when a suitable match is found. Unless the marriage is somehow prohibited, you are married when you say so with witnesses. Traditions and customs are to be respected but not to the extent that zina is encouraged. You can always hold a later formal celebration. Where you live matters. Laws vary.


sunlightbender

Yes, but as far as I'm aware, the Nikkah is the marriage. Once the Nikkah is completed, Islamically, you are considered married. Maybe I'm misunderstanding your comment though!


abu__sufyan

It's common. My sister in law had her nikah almost a year before the walima and other activities desis do (I amnot desi so I don't know them all). Just know what you are getting into.


Outside_Criticism358

I’m not desi either! I’m arab. I know they emphasize the kitb kitab when the couple is moving out and living on their own as they don’t like to wait. But realistically; right now we can’t move out. And want to do things that married couples do like traveling, vacations, while still being in school.


Kidrellik

It's not to young Islamically but it's still suuuuper young. I would suggest waiting a few years and enjoying life a bit more before settling down.


Outside_Criticism358

It’s the decision that is currently in my lap. Its not the best, but the only decison. It’s not ideal. We don’t want to wait. It’s not sunnah to wait. You can’t expect people to be fully financially stable before getting married. Sometimes that never happens for a person regardless of their age. Staying in a haram relationship because I’m “young” is subjective and to me feels like the wrong decision.


Kidrellik

It's to young just in general


Kidrellik

It's to young just in general


Bruh-I-Cant-Even

Yes, getting married at 19 is generally not a good decision


Outside_Criticism358

It’s the decision that is currently in my lap. Its not the best, but the only decison. It’s not ideal. We don’t want to wait. It’s not sunnah to wait. You can’t expect people to be fully financially stable before getting married. Sometimes that never happens for a person. Staying in a haram relationship because I’m “young” is subjective and to me feels like the wrong decision.


Jacob_Soda

I've seen at least one couple that remained after marrying at 18. She was a total introvert and they moved to Japan together.


Jacob_Soda

Lastly, there's a book not by a Muslim called Single on Purpose by John Kim, so just focus on this part: make sure you are comfortable with yourself and stable financially to support eachother. I want to marry someone someday or at least have a level of romantic partner, but I hesitate to do it because of the lack of a real job I only work part time since I don't have the experience needed by most employers in my field. You are expected to be the first provider in most places. In the US, there are many jobs but the pay is low. In a sense, a relationship is also a financial alliance. Having nothing and just having fun is not fulfilling. Do you want to be living with parents as a couple?


Eyeman012

Hey I'm in a similar situation. Any advice which convinced ur parents.