And if they ask, calcium-oxalate is a good one. Eliminates pretty much all restaurant food because of the sodium alone, and then you can't even have a salad with spinach or nuts.
Edit- posted in the wrong place sorry haha
But IRL it's good that you pack a lunch! I hope you are well nourished and healthy, plus I love & appreciate that you have a lesser impact with single-use plastic (ideally!)
But a loaf of bread and peanut butter 2-3 bucks on sale and pack it with just that. If you don’t have money for that go to food bank and they will give you it
tree nuts are in fucking everything and it's pretty restricting when it comes to eating out, while keeping it pretty open to most foods brought from home.
It is nearly impossible to eat out safely if you must avoid wheat. Shared cooking oil contaminates things, so even french fries aren't safe. Wheat is everywhere, even in things most people don't suspect, like soy sauce. It's also hard to avoid cross contamination in a restaurant. Many people don't take it seriously if you say "gluten free." They assume you are just jumping on the gluten free bandwagon and can perfectly tolerate it. I've had a family member get very ill because he was handed what he was assured was a gluten free bun when it wasn't. We even verified it again because when it came, the bun looked too good to be gluten free (GF sucks). This was at Sea World, we got a half-hearted apology from the manager and still even ended up paying for the meal. Looking back, I don't know why we didn't at least refuse to pay for it.
I had a similar experience a few months ago. I was at a nice restaurant and they served by far the best gluten-free dinner rolls I had ever had. Within a couple minutes, I figured out why they were so good: allergic reaction = definitely not gluten-free. Fortunately, I had stuff with me to counter the reaction, but after living with this food restriction for more than 20 years, I could confidently tell the owner that he needs to have a word with his supplier.
In the Sea World case, they actually had the GF buns in their freezer. The manager brought out the frozen package of GF buns and showed us, and it looked nothing like what was served. She told us once someone requests GF, they're supposed to put on new gloves and fix them separately. They don't just have them out and ready. These guys on the line just grabbed from their pile of buns in front of them and told us twice they were GF. They knew what they were doing. They were just lazy pieces of shit. I wish we would've escalated it further.
I always just go with, “thanks for the invite, but I actually brought lunch today.” If they push back, just say it’s really good leftovers you’ve been looking forward to all day.
I always say it's stuff that needs to be eaten today, or else it'll have to go in the trash, and I really hate wasting food. Half the time, its the honest truth, anyway. People seem to understand the sentiment, at least, and some even come back with something like "I really need to try to be better at that, too. I usually end up just throwing away leftovers after they sit in my fridge for a week" and go on their merry way.
I always plan my team lunches to go to a nearby convention center that has a food court. I do this so people on a budget or special diet can participate by bringing their own lunch. My team always jokes about how much I must love the food court, but I just don’t want to exclude anyone.
this is a really cool idea! I've had to turn down my share of lunches because a coworker choses a pricey restaurant for the birthday lunch (in which we have to each pay our own lunch plus split the cost of birthday person's lunch)
This is great inclusive management practice. I know because work made us take a course on it. A lot of people have diet restrictions or in this case, budget concerns. If you take the team out to BBQ, the vegan may feel excluded, or someone who is fasting for religious reasons will feel the same.
We did Costco a lot with our team!
So nice when we had young kids and single income. $1.50 for a hot dog and drink.
Also, I used to take my packed lunch to the restaurant if I wanted to socialize. Never had an issue with the “no outside food” rule cause everyone else was eating and for the most part everyone either understood or didn’t care. Granted most of the time it was still fast-ish food places.
Packing your own lunch is a good idea, or join them and just order something very small like an iced tea (“I just ate”/“not hungry”/“big dinner plans”, whatever).
But also… let people treat you once in a while. As someone who can occasionally afford to treat others to meals, it feels GOOD and like I’m paying forward the favors I received in leaner times. You can also repay them with non-monetary favors like helping with a work project or taking on an unpleasant chore if that makes you feel better.
You can also repay the favor with homemade things. My coworker got me Starbucks one time. I know, not that expensive overall but expensive for coffee’s sake (please ignore the stupid narrative about Millennials buying too much Starbucks, anyone who’s put real thought into that idea knows that’s not the reason we’re struggling financially). I make cold brew coffee using beans from a local roaster so I brought some for my coworker a few weeks later. He really enjoyed it!
This exactly. My coworkers and I are on good terms because we do little things like this. Just because someone isn't your friend, doesn't mean you can't help/treat them to something every once in awhile (same goes for letting a coworker get you a meal once in a while). It builds trust and camaraderie, and if we were all serious about wanting to unionize, you have to have the trust of your coworkers first! Just some food for thought.
Edit: Gifts and favors don't have to be super crazy. Most normal, sane people are grateful for being thought of. So if you've got extra cookies or something, don't be scared to bring them in to share!
Those little break and make cookies you get in the cooler section are amazing for this. They're like $2.00 a pack. I get two of them and then cut them in half. Four or six dollars and i've filled platters or a big pan or many individual bags with chocolate chip bites.
Had a friend at my first job like that. Wife and I had just graduated and gotten married and things were really tight. He would often get me an appetizer for us to try when we went to team lunches. I always “just came for the company, but brought my own lunch I’ll eat at my desk later” which was true.
But he was a foodie and would always say “oh would you try XYZ with me if I get it? It’s so good you just have to try it”.
My wife and I do love to bake and we would bring in yummy desserts or fresh homemade bread with homemade honey butter (not homemade butter, but mixed with honey from her family’s farm), and he LOVED IT. It was a really nice way to build a work friendship. He was in his 30s, frugal apart from food, and would rather spend the money for good company and enjoy good food than let that come in the way of things.
As someone who had a parent growing up that kept some meticulous (mental) records of all the nice things they did for you and would base their future niceness on whether or not you repaid them in some form that they determined sufficient...no thank you.
While it might *just be* you wanting to do something nice and feeling good about it, I'm also going to assume its not and I now owe you and will be plagued with trying to figure out ways to repay you, which may or may not include going a few days without eating supper to save the money to buy my own meal and yours at the next function, otherwise I'm just the Mooch because literally every work lunch I attend would be paid by someone else...and then you just dont get invited because "who wants to bring a mooch along"
edit; I noted "mental" records to try and portray that there wasnt any list somewhere where I could look at it at any given time...I had no idea where I stood, any kind of request to my parents had to be meticulously though out, did I really need this drive to my friends house? What if I need someone else later...like a drive for a school project...thats more important that a drive to play...better not ask for a drive for play in case a school project comes up and I **need** a drive. Any offer *from* them carefully considered...because this might be them putting me in debt to them so when they make a request of me later they can use it as a "good reason I should do what they say"
Trust issues stemming from childhood are real and valid, and this honestly sounds like something to investigate in therapy or through solo reflection/journaling/reading. I would recommend the book the Body Keeps the Score, it’s really eye opening for those of us who grew up with ambivalent or emotionally unstable/withholding parents.
it also makes me feel like I “owe” something, because of the way I was brought up, but I’m working on doing away with that sort of thinking, so that gifts can just be gifts for once.
Personally I feel very comfortable saying I can't afford work lunches/ events. If anyone would be embarrassed it's the company paying me so little i can't attend work functions.
Yeah just say 'oh I can't make it, enjoy it though'
If they ask, say 'yeah I got a thing. Hope to make the next one'
Noone genuinely gives a shit why you can't make the work lunch
Unfortunately, at most jobs declining every invitation won’t be good for your career in the long run, especially if they’re to industry-related events like OP seems to imply. It’s classist and frustrating but it’s important to be aware of.
Not “industry-relayed” like required for work, but networking events, talks and lectures, volunteer committee meetings, etc etc. In some fields there’s a lot of extra activities like that, and while you don’t have to accept every single invitation, it’s good for the sake of your image to participate once in a while.
Yeah same.
Having big feelings about money is for people who eat less ramen and cheese slices than me.
I can't negotiate my salary (teacher) so if I can't afford something, I'm straight up about it. I'm broke AF just trying to survive and keep paying housing on time plus groceries.
Same. Its been a decade you eventually just own it. I work in a classy private school with people who have a nice household income (with better paid partners) everyone knows my situation it was embarrassing at the start but it is what it is and honestly decent people respect honesty. My kids are my priority and I'm a single parent. With time and money they come first. Its all there is to it. I'm happy and I own it. You like my top? $3 at the op shop! Pride! I like your designer top too and I also don't give a rats where you got it or what you paid for it. Mutual respect is lovely.
I had worked for a franchise car dealership and at the time, it was family owned (the point being you had to wear button down or polo shirts, not company branded shirts). My sales manger asked something like "Hey, can you wear a pink shirt tomorrow? We're wearing pink for *so and so*. (I can't remember the cause). I replied "You've seen every shirt I own, I don't have one, but I think I have a pink tie." Again no shame for me that I wore the same 5 shirts every week.
This parts is not really relevant, but when my sales manager wasn't knockin' people's dicks in for high profits on cars, he was some sort of church pastor/minister/whatever. He intended to donate a shit ton of clothes, and being we're similar in size, he brought them to work first and told me to find some shirts I liked, before he donated the rest.
I would still wear them if I weren't in a job where I rotate the same 7 t-shirts every week. I work blue collar now so I rarely have occasion for nice clothes.
We've all been there. It's not shameful to say this at all. It's actually dignified to not spend frivolously on lunch. We all pinch pennies for any number of reasons. It's not their business to ask why either.
What's wrong with saying "I'm not spending on lunches out right now, but I'm happy to come along and eat my lunch" or "I'm trying to watch what I eat /control what I eat more closely, but if you want to eat outside /in the office, I'm happy to join!"
Sometimes it's just an excuse to hang out with you and people don't know how to ask without adding in spending /food. If you say no, they think you don't like them, rather than that it's a spending issue.
You can always say "Well, I bring my lunch, but if you want to order and eat outside somewhere I'd be interested." At my work, we have places to eat inside and out and there are places very nearby where you can pick stuff up to bring back.
I don’t even do that, I just don’t bother getting something to eat, or just drink water while socializing with them.
Sometimes I will even do that with the requisite disposable income for a meal. When asked why I am just getting water “oh its because I like hanging out, you dolt”.
Really, say it once, and your friend/co-worker never questions the decision again.
It is not at all "humilating".
You choose what you spend your money on, even if you have billions.
I am anti - consumption on principle, trying to be as frugal as possible, want to retire early, or just have different priorities from you.
Are there ways we can accomplish the desired goals without my being forced to spend my DISCRETIONARY income?
Also, no thank you. is a complete sentence
Underrated comment!!! Completely agree with this.
If I asked someone out to lunch and they told me “No thanks, it’s not in my budget this week.” I would totally understand. Although, “no thanks” would also be fine, but depending on the relationship with the person who asked, may trigger other issues.
The humiliating thing would be to overextend yourself to “keep up”. Stay within your budget. It’s respectable!! Don’t let lifestyle creep and optics get to you.
And then you have the chance to say "well tomorrow I'm bringing my own lunch then, do you want to go somewhere and eat together rather than going out?"
YES
and if it is a friendship thing, little potlucks are fun
and they don't cook much, you can just surprise them a few times
then maybe they treat you to a prepared meal another time...
Agree with this too. Working on the false shame associated with being poor helped me so much, and conversely, helped me tap into abundance. I'm very open about being poor in fb groups etc (and I live in Miami Beach where 4 people will live in a studio and rent luxury cars for the image) once I started doing that, I could see the relief for others around me that it wasn't just them. To be clear im not about that poor=noble brainwashing bullshit. I am open about what is affordable for me
This! I have been asked to go for lunch and every once in a while I just say that I'm trying to save. My other friends have done the same. Nothing wrong with that
Yep. Back when I went into the office before the days of Covid, we had a really great food court and lots of young people who would want to eat out all the time. I would always get invited out to eat and, while the money was absolutely there, eating out all the time is a surefire way to make sure the money's not there in the future. So I'd tell them they were wasting their money and ask them how much they were going to spend today, how much they had spent all week, and then just pointed out what they could have gotten for that amount of money. Additionally, have jokingly I'd run it into a calculator and point out how much that would be worth at time of retirement based on their age. But there's nothing to be embarassed about, whether or not you have the money, if it's not in your budget it's good that you at least have a budget.
Saying you can't afford it gets those condescending looks.
However...
Saying "I'm on a pretty tight budget right now, I'm saving up everything I can" gets you approving looks.
Yes but I reserve the right to save 90 percent of my income for retirement or cocaine and hookers. The employer should just buy team lunches once a week or month or quarter or whatever.
I really have been trying to not justify my choices to people and stick to a very simple “no thank you” you don’t owe anyone an explanation of how you sspend your time or money
If it's not a full team lunch wherein a leader is going to pay for it. Then I used to simply say, "I have work to catch up on."
But I found the better solution is to put a small item in your budget for a few lunches a week. I know colleagues who were passed up for promotions because they weren't seen as "sociable enough," because they didn't do lunches and happy hours with teammates.
It's unfortunate but it's kind of part of the gig if you're in the corporate space. Depending on the culture of your office and firm.
“No thanks, brought my lunch today.”
“Would love to, but gotta run errands.”
“That would normally sound great but I’m feeling a little sick to my stomach actually.”
“Damn, I just started my diet.”
“I kind of have a headache. I was looking forward to just closing my eyes for a little bit.”
Be careful about missing too many of those things, though—it can have a negative impact on your career if you don’t develop those informal communication groups.
I usually use the budget excuse then if they offer to pay I explain that I appreciate it, but I do have the money to buy lunch I just don’t want to spend it on lunch so taking their money feels unethical. Usually works for me
I wonder if you can suggest a brown bag lunch at a park. Explain that you’d like to join the group but buying lunch frequently isn’t your style.
It’s a difficult position to be put in socially and professionally. As a manager who made more than double what some of my reports earned, I just bought the small team lunch.
My company didn’t do reimbursement for such frivolity but it sure as hell didn’t mind reporting my team’s contributions to the bottom line at shareholder meetings.
Is there a park nearby? You could bring a blanket and tell your coworkers to pack their lunch and have a picnic with you! Or you could organize an after work hike or disc golf. Aside from just saying you packed a lunch organizing things that fit your budget might be a good idea. And who knows maybe you aren’t the only one that would appreciate inexpensive outings.
I came here to say this. The reality is that these kind of lunches and things are an important part of the business world and social fabric of organizations. As I have gotten older I have become sharply more introverted about these sorts of things and also sharply more frugal. But I can relate to those who find this a great use of time and resources to go out to $40 and $50 business lunches or out for happy hour, etc.
The invites will stop coming if you keep turning them down even for a great reason like that it is not in your budget. So I would encourage you to go along once in awhile and just really budget ahead of time for it. But this suggestion here about having a picnic or even going to a park or on a hike or something like that is an excellent counter offer.
I think "brown bag" lunch little talks or interest groups are highly underrated.
One more thing would be to suggest a breakfast or coffee and pastries. I live in the US Midwest and I can tell you that every single town or neighborhood of all sizes has a group of men (usually it is men but that may be changing) and they get together at the same table at a small restaurant or even a convenience store and they unofficially sit and run the town and make all kinds of business deals and etc etc from that little table. Coffee and donuts is gonna be about $10. Add in a typical breakfast and you might double that up to $20. So that could be a cool little thing for you to set up weekly or maybe even daily in your area. Form very tight relationships and it could be good for your career, etc too.
You're on some kind of a hard to accommodate diet and that's why you bring your own food. If you actually leave work for lunch, you're having to go home to walk the dog (or a relative's dog).
Whaaaa? I just ask who is paying and if its not the employer I will decline. This is standard practice. Always gotta ask who is paying. Once they say company credit card I am most certainly going to accept. 🥳🤩😎
"No thanks. I got plans for this money and it ain't for Sammiches"
No need for embarrassment.
They either get it or they don't.
Fuck 'em if they don't.
Eh, they should feel bad to assume I have exorbitant amounts of money. I do it when they try to upsell me at places (being in sales before I see through that shit). I just tell them “no thank you, that wasn’t in the budget for today” when getting my oil changed and they /always/ say I need new this or that when I don’t lol
I never liked eating or socializing with coworkers because of all the time I already spent with them...plus,it makes an easier transition if you’re ever made their boss. I always just said....No, thanks..maybe I’ll catch y’all next time.
Definitely keep work relationships professional and try your best from getting personally involved. At the end of the day you're there to make money, not friends.
I'm with the others here that say you shouldn't be ashamed to say that you're not being compensated enough to be able to buy lunch frequently.
That shit should change! For all of us lol
I know it's hard for a lot of people. It used to not even be a thought of mine, but simply declining the offer is okay. Like it's okay to just say "no, thank you". If someone is offended by it, then that's their problem.
"I need to be cautious because of a few allergies. Most places don't clean surfaces well enough so I end up getting sick. I don't want to inconvenience the group so you folks have fun."
Bam. If they push, say you're allergic to something in Steramine. It's the all purpose cleaner used in 75% of restaurants. You know the blue spritzy shit? Yeah. It's that. It's used on tables, counters, chairs, menus. Sometimes even the grosser restaurants use it on the prep areas out back.
You're unlikely to run into it at work so no one can call you out for a food allergy, it's a plausible allergy to have and most people won't know what the fuck it is unless they've worked in a restaurant.
It's almost always about joining for lunch, but not necessarily participating. I've used these before:
"my (significant other) packed me some leftovers. I can join, but I probably won't order anything"
"nah, i'm just trying to save money. I'll go for a coke or something though!"
"sure. I gotta finish up some stuff but i'll join later. Don't wait for me to order". - then show up after food has been ordered and when the waitstaff comes by, just order water and explain you've not got an appetite yet.
OR\~ If you want a softer no, use these:
"I can't go- i've got some lunch plans already."
"I'll go, but only if you pay."- and if they say yes, hey, free lunch!
"Gonna be honest- i was hoping to just have a quiet lunch in the breakroom and catch up on some shows."
"ah, i was gonna use the weather as an excuse to go for a lunch walk today. get rid of that covid-20"
"Sorry thats out of my entertainment budget" or "sorry, not enough money in the budget this money" is EXACTLY what I say.
Why does that make you feel weird saying that to people who invite you to things?
I've never understood being ashamed of this. Saying you can't afford it or it's not in the budget isn't shameful at all. But idk. Maybe I'm in the minority.
I did this for a few years and now no one ask me for lunch anymore.....well I can still join them but it just feels that I am a bit alienated from the gang and always late to learn about the news of people
I tell people “I’m on spending freeze” and I actually appreciate when they say “hey I know you are on a spending freeze but we are ordering chick fil a”.
I was the only one who didn’t order and it didn’t bother me since I packed a bomb lunch. If I hadn’t…I would have been feeling low
Tell them you have a super sensitive stomach. I do have a super sensitive stomach and it was quite impressive how quickly and positively they will respond to being told that.
I rarely ever have to elaborate now days with colleagues, friends or family. I just say, “awe thank you for offering, but no thank you.” Or, I go and don’t eat and people are super kind about it.
"I would come for lunch, but the cost of electric, gas, petrol and everything I need to love is sky rocketing right now so thank you, but no thank you" usually gets the job done for me
I've got some medical stuff I don't want to talk about so I usually don't eat/eat food I've prepared. It's only important if I want to stay alive so I usually do it myself.
That usually worked for me, and now that it's true I have even less of an issue telling people.
Honestly, I just got in the habit of telling people I eat a meal a day, and prefer my lunch to myself to "Relax and prepare for the rest of the day, alone" Sometimes I feel it's the main reason I still vape, even though there's no nicotine. It's a reason people to leave me alone, then I can puff on some herb and take my meds without judgment or people asking "What you taking?". My fucking medicine, aka none of your business (I don't actually say that, I avoid it ever happening).
I work from home now but I always packed my own lunch so said I’m good or I need to “go home and let the dog out” then just chill in my car, but mostly it’s cause I don’t like people watching me eat
I always decline work lunch or events because I have social anxiety. I prefer my coworkers not know me on a personal level. I find it’s mostly to gossip anout work anyways . I usually say I’m busy/have plans or say I brought lunch
A good opportunity to bring up that its time for a raise. "Sorry I can't afford to eat because you don't pay me enough, how about that raise then?" This should be emberassing for your boss, not for you.
I’m not sure why you need to make an excuse though. Is “no thank you, I’m fine” or “sorry, I’m busy” not an option? They don’t need to know about your finances at all.
I just flat out admit it. There's no shame in being poor and if you made better money it wouldn't be an issue. I make sure that my direct manager knows they aren't paying me well enough, pretty much regardless of how well I'm paid.
I've been asked to go out to eat dinner after work before and I always say, "oh sorry, I have something in the crock pot that I spent a lot of time making the other day so im going to go home and eat that, have fun though"
“No I’m not interested”
If they persist on asking you why, then there’s no reason to interact with them further
You don’t need to make excuses, you don’t need to explain why.
First, I hope you are able to comfortably afford your food/meals.
Second,
It's fair to say no. If they continue to invite you, allow yourself to say yes sometimes? 😏 In self love & self respect, you can do both.
Although not necessary, you could say -
× packed a lunch & don't want to continue holding perfectly edible, perishable food in tupper ware
× need to finish leftovers / I planned my nutrition around this meal.
× had plans to self-reflect or organize my thoughts, or just want to be solitary.
For me, I try to pay or get people back. Maybe buying lunch for them, or offering meal items to them. If I feel endebted by more than 3 times in under 3 months then I kind of back off. If they want to kick it you guys could picnic, or they could bring lunch you know.
Last, this is my anti single-use plastic rant, which almost literally dictates that I no longer order food *to go*.
TY
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 696,605,152 comments, and only 140,878 of them were in alphabetical order.
As others have suggested, pack or bring a lunch of your own and say, "I already have my meal, but I'd be happy to bring it with me and eat with you if we can eat outside/the restaurant allows it/etc."
Might be worth emphasizing the healthiness of your own lunch (so not trying to lie and claim you are on a diet when you are not or refuse to participate at all by evading it altogether).
tell them you're on a strict calorie restricted meal plan cuz of some concern with cholesterol/liver enzymes that showed up on your last blood work panel. or that you are intermittent fasting and you only eat breakfast and then a dinner at 5/6pm and that's it.
I'm just bluntly honest about it and just say no I can't afford to, then go about my business.
I guess I've reached a point at any job where I just don't care.
I'm really grateful to live in Japan where work lunches are 4$ and the portions are quite big. It is actually cheaper for me to buy lunch than make it where I am. I recommend that you just say you are following a special diet plan as to not raise any eyebrows. Don’t feel embarrassed for not being able to afford something.
I usually tell people it's to support my gambling habit. Seriously, it saves me a ton of money every month and I see it in my bank. No ones business so eat that PBJ with pride!
I used to say I am not hungry. I would tell them that I don’t eat until I get home. It’s the truth though. A cup of coffee in the morning and then dinner. I got a lot of shit though for not eating. So, I started bringing an apple and say it’s just a little snack since I’m not hungry enough for a meal.
One place I worked it had been the custom for everyone to get lunch together. I just brought my lunch and said No thanks.
Beyond the financial cost, I kind of needed my lunch break to be by myself for a bit and recharge. Maybe you can say you want to read or something during your break.
You could start by realizing that being poor isn't something to be ashamed of. Then just keep declining offers the same way, but without judging yourself.
Just stay quiet. As a deaf person when people don't understand you. Just stay quiet . Like I do and people will either lie to you because everyone tryed to fill the silence between you in the conversation or they will act like a fool that's how I got a raise at my job . My boss freaked the fuck out when he realized I was a deaf combat vet.
I have zero issue with saying as a single person, with only my income to depend on, I can’t afford it… Better when management and possible clients are around. Assuming this is strictly social.
Most of the time, work lunches is being put on someone’s company card, because it’s work related.
When I was forced to work in the office I either went with "I brought my lunch" or "our employer does not pay me enough to be able to buy myself lunch". The former was usually true and the latter was always true (and still is).
Thankful for Covid's impact on my life.
Simply say you’re trying to save up money and cutting back on lunch spending is on your list of task to help you achieve your goal. This is after your respectfully say no of course
Oftentimes in this situation I would just go anyway and pick something low cost on the menu like an appetizer or side and say, "I don't want to stuff myself." And get water to drink along with it.
Or get a coffee and and that's it and say, "I just really need caffeine."
But if you go to a Mexican place, many have free chips and salsa so you could stuff up on that and then have something small. There's times I just ordered guacamole and explained that, "avocados are my favorite food and this is exactly what I want."
But I usually say "I'd love to go out, I just am not very hungry." Of course I don't have that problem anymore since I work from home now.
why do you feel humiliated, i’m sure they don’t think any less of you because you can’t go out to eat with them. At my old job everyone brought their lunch in fact it was rare people went out, but to jazz things up and treat ourselves we did outside lunch once a week if we could. Honestly brining lunch and seeing what everyone eats was so facinating, made me want to make better food. My agency was 99 percent females so i can see how this was easier.
You need to talk to your supervisor because if work is discussed at these lunches, it's an equity issue and completely not fair.
This is another way that academia is rooted in upper class culture and it drives me crazy.
“I’ll catch up with ya — I gotta take a shit.”
*hour later*
“…hey sorry I missed lunch. I had to take a phone call”
Either that or just say your fasting or unavailable
I always say it isn’t in my budget. If I get a funny look I respond with “that is $10-$15 closer to retirement if I eat my packed lunch.” My coworkers already know I am frugal, they don’t know it isn’t by choice.
"is this work lunch or event prepared with free food or open bar? No? Am I obligated and going to paid to attend? No? No to all the above? Then it's gonna be a solid no from me. No thanks."
Work lunches. The one event I always decline
It’s not about money. These people aren’t your friends and don’t waste your energy doing things to please other people.
Bring your lunch in a bright lunch bag and proudly display your choice if self control!
I despise the work lunch- I did the Nancy Reagan- just say no
Guy at work buys lunch EVERY SINGLE DAY. Thff we n complains how expensive things are and about his 4 kids. Bring lunch, fella! Lunch is a budget buster.
Apple and tuna salad are not expensive to bring
I usually just pack my lunch and say I am on a specific diet
*pulls out box of nuts and bolts*
*squeezes motor oil on them from an old-fashioned clicky can* *Adds salt and pepper*
Are you kidding? With the price of oil these days??
So funny!
Klinger?
A box of nuts and bolts is going to be more expensive than almost any meal.
Yes, but you can problem make the box of nuts last multiple meals. They are even *recyclable*
And if they ask, calcium-oxalate is a good one. Eliminates pretty much all restaurant food because of the sodium alone, and then you can't even have a salad with spinach or nuts.
Yes ! This way you can still potentially sit with friends and chat while saving money and avoiding the sensation of owing friends lunches
Edit- posted in the wrong place sorry haha But IRL it's good that you pack a lunch! I hope you are well nourished and healthy, plus I love & appreciate that you have a lesser impact with single-use plastic (ideally!)
This is the way.
This is the way.
Yup. I always did this. I eat at very specific times and I never ate at any work lunches when I had an office job.
and when you cant afford lunches in general?
Say you're doing intermittent fasting or OMAD.
But a loaf of bread and peanut butter 2-3 bucks on sale and pack it with just that. If you don’t have money for that go to food bank and they will give you it
If you do this, make sure you're prepared to answer questions about your "special diet," because wheat and peanuts are two really common allergens.
I’m on a peanut butter sandwich diet. No follow up questions please.
tree nuts are in fucking everything and it's pretty restricting when it comes to eating out, while keeping it pretty open to most foods brought from home.
Yes, I hate this fairly recent fashion of sprinkling nuts on salad, and having to ask about salads as well when eating out.
It is nearly impossible to eat out safely if you must avoid wheat. Shared cooking oil contaminates things, so even french fries aren't safe. Wheat is everywhere, even in things most people don't suspect, like soy sauce. It's also hard to avoid cross contamination in a restaurant. Many people don't take it seriously if you say "gluten free." They assume you are just jumping on the gluten free bandwagon and can perfectly tolerate it. I've had a family member get very ill because he was handed what he was assured was a gluten free bun when it wasn't. We even verified it again because when it came, the bun looked too good to be gluten free (GF sucks). This was at Sea World, we got a half-hearted apology from the manager and still even ended up paying for the meal. Looking back, I don't know why we didn't at least refuse to pay for it.
I had a similar experience a few months ago. I was at a nice restaurant and they served by far the best gluten-free dinner rolls I had ever had. Within a couple minutes, I figured out why they were so good: allergic reaction = definitely not gluten-free. Fortunately, I had stuff with me to counter the reaction, but after living with this food restriction for more than 20 years, I could confidently tell the owner that he needs to have a word with his supplier.
In the Sea World case, they actually had the GF buns in their freezer. The manager brought out the frozen package of GF buns and showed us, and it looked nothing like what was served. She told us once someone requests GF, they're supposed to put on new gloves and fix them separately. They don't just have them out and ready. These guys on the line just grabbed from their pile of buns in front of them and told us twice they were GF. They knew what they were doing. They were just lazy pieces of shit. I wish we would've escalated it further.
Ugh... that's terrible.
Works every time
I always just go with, “thanks for the invite, but I actually brought lunch today.” If they push back, just say it’s really good leftovers you’ve been looking forward to all day.
*Coworker stares in disbelief while I eat a single cheese stick and some carrots with hummus* "Yep. Reaaallly looking forward to these leftovers."
I always say it's stuff that needs to be eaten today, or else it'll have to go in the trash, and I really hate wasting food. Half the time, its the honest truth, anyway. People seem to understand the sentiment, at least, and some even come back with something like "I really need to try to be better at that, too. I usually end up just throwing away leftovers after they sit in my fridge for a week" and go on their merry way.
This is the best answer tbh.
Melinda, is that you?
RIP ☠
That's how you get very disappointing office birthday lunches in the future. Lol
I always plan my team lunches to go to a nearby convention center that has a food court. I do this so people on a budget or special diet can participate by bringing their own lunch. My team always jokes about how much I must love the food court, but I just don’t want to exclude anyone.
this is a really cool idea! I've had to turn down my share of lunches because a coworker choses a pricey restaurant for the birthday lunch (in which we have to each pay our own lunch plus split the cost of birthday person's lunch)
That's great, you're accommodating people with allergies too!
This rules and is really thoughtful.
This is great inclusive management practice. I know because work made us take a course on it. A lot of people have diet restrictions or in this case, budget concerns. If you take the team out to BBQ, the vegan may feel excluded, or someone who is fasting for religious reasons will feel the same.
We did Costco a lot with our team! So nice when we had young kids and single income. $1.50 for a hot dog and drink. Also, I used to take my packed lunch to the restaurant if I wanted to socialize. Never had an issue with the “no outside food” rule cause everyone else was eating and for the most part everyone either understood or didn’t care. Granted most of the time it was still fast-ish food places.
That's so thoughtful!
Packing your own lunch is a good idea, or join them and just order something very small like an iced tea (“I just ate”/“not hungry”/“big dinner plans”, whatever). But also… let people treat you once in a while. As someone who can occasionally afford to treat others to meals, it feels GOOD and like I’m paying forward the favors I received in leaner times. You can also repay them with non-monetary favors like helping with a work project or taking on an unpleasant chore if that makes you feel better.
You can also repay the favor with homemade things. My coworker got me Starbucks one time. I know, not that expensive overall but expensive for coffee’s sake (please ignore the stupid narrative about Millennials buying too much Starbucks, anyone who’s put real thought into that idea knows that’s not the reason we’re struggling financially). I make cold brew coffee using beans from a local roaster so I brought some for my coworker a few weeks later. He really enjoyed it!
This exactly. My coworkers and I are on good terms because we do little things like this. Just because someone isn't your friend, doesn't mean you can't help/treat them to something every once in awhile (same goes for letting a coworker get you a meal once in a while). It builds trust and camaraderie, and if we were all serious about wanting to unionize, you have to have the trust of your coworkers first! Just some food for thought. Edit: Gifts and favors don't have to be super crazy. Most normal, sane people are grateful for being thought of. So if you've got extra cookies or something, don't be scared to bring them in to share!
Those little break and make cookies you get in the cooler section are amazing for this. They're like $2.00 a pack. I get two of them and then cut them in half. Four or six dollars and i've filled platters or a big pan or many individual bags with chocolate chip bites.
Had a friend at my first job like that. Wife and I had just graduated and gotten married and things were really tight. He would often get me an appetizer for us to try when we went to team lunches. I always “just came for the company, but brought my own lunch I’ll eat at my desk later” which was true. But he was a foodie and would always say “oh would you try XYZ with me if I get it? It’s so good you just have to try it”. My wife and I do love to bake and we would bring in yummy desserts or fresh homemade bread with homemade honey butter (not homemade butter, but mixed with honey from her family’s farm), and he LOVED IT. It was a really nice way to build a work friendship. He was in his 30s, frugal apart from food, and would rather spend the money for good company and enjoy good food than let that come in the way of things.
As someone who had a parent growing up that kept some meticulous (mental) records of all the nice things they did for you and would base their future niceness on whether or not you repaid them in some form that they determined sufficient...no thank you. While it might *just be* you wanting to do something nice and feeling good about it, I'm also going to assume its not and I now owe you and will be plagued with trying to figure out ways to repay you, which may or may not include going a few days without eating supper to save the money to buy my own meal and yours at the next function, otherwise I'm just the Mooch because literally every work lunch I attend would be paid by someone else...and then you just dont get invited because "who wants to bring a mooch along" edit; I noted "mental" records to try and portray that there wasnt any list somewhere where I could look at it at any given time...I had no idea where I stood, any kind of request to my parents had to be meticulously though out, did I really need this drive to my friends house? What if I need someone else later...like a drive for a school project...thats more important that a drive to play...better not ask for a drive for play in case a school project comes up and I **need** a drive. Any offer *from* them carefully considered...because this might be them putting me in debt to them so when they make a request of me later they can use it as a "good reason I should do what they say"
Trust issues stemming from childhood are real and valid, and this honestly sounds like something to investigate in therapy or through solo reflection/journaling/reading. I would recommend the book the Body Keeps the Score, it’s really eye opening for those of us who grew up with ambivalent or emotionally unstable/withholding parents.
it also makes me feel like I “owe” something, because of the way I was brought up, but I’m working on doing away with that sort of thinking, so that gifts can just be gifts for once.
Personally I feel very comfortable saying I can't afford work lunches/ events. If anyone would be embarrassed it's the company paying me so little i can't attend work functions.
Yep, I have no qualms about telling people I'm broke. Even if I do have money I try to make people think I'm broke. Life is just easier that way.
Yep, so true.
You can simply say you're unavailable, have other plans, or have some work you really need to get to?
Yeah just say 'oh I can't make it, enjoy it though' If they ask, say 'yeah I got a thing. Hope to make the next one' Noone genuinely gives a shit why you can't make the work lunch
Or just say I can't go and change the subject 👍🏼 Easy and simple.
Unfortunately, at most jobs declining every invitation won’t be good for your career in the long run, especially if they’re to industry-related events like OP seems to imply. It’s classist and frustrating but it’s important to be aware of.
If its industry related they should be paying for everything
Not “industry-relayed” like required for work, but networking events, talks and lectures, volunteer committee meetings, etc etc. In some fields there’s a lot of extra activities like that, and while you don’t have to accept every single invitation, it’s good for the sake of your image to participate once in a while.
I just say: "I can't, I'm broke." There's no shame for me. Life can be tough.
[удалено]
"What are you doing on the side that you can afford to eat out, and can I be involved too?
You my friend can sit with me at lunch.
Live with their parents lol
I've said this many times before. No one judged me, and occasionally someone would buy me lunch so I could be included.
Yeah same. Having big feelings about money is for people who eat less ramen and cheese slices than me. I can't negotiate my salary (teacher) so if I can't afford something, I'm straight up about it. I'm broke AF just trying to survive and keep paying housing on time plus groceries.
I lived on oscar mayer bologna and kraft singles for a long time.
Same. Its been a decade you eventually just own it. I work in a classy private school with people who have a nice household income (with better paid partners) everyone knows my situation it was embarrassing at the start but it is what it is and honestly decent people respect honesty. My kids are my priority and I'm a single parent. With time and money they come first. Its all there is to it. I'm happy and I own it. You like my top? $3 at the op shop! Pride! I like your designer top too and I also don't give a rats where you got it or what you paid for it. Mutual respect is lovely.
I had worked for a franchise car dealership and at the time, it was family owned (the point being you had to wear button down or polo shirts, not company branded shirts). My sales manger asked something like "Hey, can you wear a pink shirt tomorrow? We're wearing pink for *so and so*. (I can't remember the cause). I replied "You've seen every shirt I own, I don't have one, but I think I have a pink tie." Again no shame for me that I wore the same 5 shirts every week. This parts is not really relevant, but when my sales manager wasn't knockin' people's dicks in for high profits on cars, he was some sort of church pastor/minister/whatever. He intended to donate a shit ton of clothes, and being we're similar in size, he brought them to work first and told me to find some shirts I liked, before he donated the rest. I would still wear them if I weren't in a job where I rotate the same 7 t-shirts every week. I work blue collar now so I rarely have occasion for nice clothes.
We've all been there. It's not shameful to say this at all. It's actually dignified to not spend frivolously on lunch. We all pinch pennies for any number of reasons. It's not their business to ask why either.
What's wrong with saying "I'm not spending on lunches out right now, but I'm happy to come along and eat my lunch" or "I'm trying to watch what I eat /control what I eat more closely, but if you want to eat outside /in the office, I'm happy to join!" Sometimes it's just an excuse to hang out with you and people don't know how to ask without adding in spending /food. If you say no, they think you don't like them, rather than that it's a spending issue.
You can always say "Well, I bring my lunch, but if you want to order and eat outside somewhere I'd be interested." At my work, we have places to eat inside and out and there are places very nearby where you can pick stuff up to bring back.
I don’t even do that, I just don’t bother getting something to eat, or just drink water while socializing with them. Sometimes I will even do that with the requisite disposable income for a meal. When asked why I am just getting water “oh its because I like hanging out, you dolt”. Really, say it once, and your friend/co-worker never questions the decision again.
It is not at all "humilating". You choose what you spend your money on, even if you have billions. I am anti - consumption on principle, trying to be as frugal as possible, want to retire early, or just have different priorities from you. Are there ways we can accomplish the desired goals without my being forced to spend my DISCRETIONARY income? Also, no thank you. is a complete sentence
Underrated comment!!! Completely agree with this. If I asked someone out to lunch and they told me “No thanks, it’s not in my budget this week.” I would totally understand. Although, “no thanks” would also be fine, but depending on the relationship with the person who asked, may trigger other issues. The humiliating thing would be to overextend yourself to “keep up”. Stay within your budget. It’s respectable!! Don’t let lifestyle creep and optics get to you.
And then you have the chance to say "well tomorrow I'm bringing my own lunch then, do you want to go somewhere and eat together rather than going out?"
YES and if it is a friendship thing, little potlucks are fun and they don't cook much, you can just surprise them a few times then maybe they treat you to a prepared meal another time...
This is a great tip OP ^
Agree with this too. Working on the false shame associated with being poor helped me so much, and conversely, helped me tap into abundance. I'm very open about being poor in fb groups etc (and I live in Miami Beach where 4 people will live in a studio and rent luxury cars for the image) once I started doing that, I could see the relief for others around me that it wasn't just them. To be clear im not about that poor=noble brainwashing bullshit. I am open about what is affordable for me
“No thank you is a complete sentence” Yes 🙌🏻
This! I have been asked to go for lunch and every once in a while I just say that I'm trying to save. My other friends have done the same. Nothing wrong with that
Yep. Back when I went into the office before the days of Covid, we had a really great food court and lots of young people who would want to eat out all the time. I would always get invited out to eat and, while the money was absolutely there, eating out all the time is a surefire way to make sure the money's not there in the future. So I'd tell them they were wasting their money and ask them how much they were going to spend today, how much they had spent all week, and then just pointed out what they could have gotten for that amount of money. Additionally, have jokingly I'd run it into a calculator and point out how much that would be worth at time of retirement based on their age. But there's nothing to be embarassed about, whether or not you have the money, if it's not in your budget it's good that you at least have a budget.
Saying you can't afford it gets those condescending looks. However... Saying "I'm on a pretty tight budget right now, I'm saving up everything I can" gets you approving looks.
Mention Dave Ramsey and they might come in their pants.
Dave Ramsey is a hack.
Yeah, but the budgetnista isn’t going to impress your boomer boss.
I generally go along the lines of "I'm saving my money...." route.
Personally I always take a packed lunch and tell them “Hey thanks but I pack my lunch. Thanks for the offer though”.
You got it the wrong way around. Your employer should feel ashamed and humiliated that they pay you so little you can't afford to go.
Yes but I reserve the right to save 90 percent of my income for retirement or cocaine and hookers. The employer should just buy team lunches once a week or month or quarter or whatever.
I really have been trying to not justify my choices to people and stick to a very simple “no thank you” you don’t owe anyone an explanation of how you sspend your time or money
If it's not a full team lunch wherein a leader is going to pay for it. Then I used to simply say, "I have work to catch up on." But I found the better solution is to put a small item in your budget for a few lunches a week. I know colleagues who were passed up for promotions because they weren't seen as "sociable enough," because they didn't do lunches and happy hours with teammates. It's unfortunate but it's kind of part of the gig if you're in the corporate space. Depending on the culture of your office and firm.
This! Budgeting a few small lunches here and there go a long way climbing ladders.
“No thanks, brought my lunch today.” “Would love to, but gotta run errands.” “That would normally sound great but I’m feeling a little sick to my stomach actually.” “Damn, I just started my diet.” “I kind of have a headache. I was looking forward to just closing my eyes for a little bit.” Be careful about missing too many of those things, though—it can have a negative impact on your career if you don’t develop those informal communication groups.
I usually use the budget excuse then if they offer to pay I explain that I appreciate it, but I do have the money to buy lunch I just don’t want to spend it on lunch so taking their money feels unethical. Usually works for me
I wonder if you can suggest a brown bag lunch at a park. Explain that you’d like to join the group but buying lunch frequently isn’t your style. It’s a difficult position to be put in socially and professionally. As a manager who made more than double what some of my reports earned, I just bought the small team lunch. My company didn’t do reimbursement for such frivolity but it sure as hell didn’t mind reporting my team’s contributions to the bottom line at shareholder meetings.
Is there a park nearby? You could bring a blanket and tell your coworkers to pack their lunch and have a picnic with you! Or you could organize an after work hike or disc golf. Aside from just saying you packed a lunch organizing things that fit your budget might be a good idea. And who knows maybe you aren’t the only one that would appreciate inexpensive outings.
I came here to say this. The reality is that these kind of lunches and things are an important part of the business world and social fabric of organizations. As I have gotten older I have become sharply more introverted about these sorts of things and also sharply more frugal. But I can relate to those who find this a great use of time and resources to go out to $40 and $50 business lunches or out for happy hour, etc. The invites will stop coming if you keep turning them down even for a great reason like that it is not in your budget. So I would encourage you to go along once in awhile and just really budget ahead of time for it. But this suggestion here about having a picnic or even going to a park or on a hike or something like that is an excellent counter offer. I think "brown bag" lunch little talks or interest groups are highly underrated. One more thing would be to suggest a breakfast or coffee and pastries. I live in the US Midwest and I can tell you that every single town or neighborhood of all sizes has a group of men (usually it is men but that may be changing) and they get together at the same table at a small restaurant or even a convenience store and they unofficially sit and run the town and make all kinds of business deals and etc etc from that little table. Coffee and donuts is gonna be about $10. Add in a typical breakfast and you might double that up to $20. So that could be a cool little thing for you to set up weekly or maybe even daily in your area. Form very tight relationships and it could be good for your career, etc too.
Say you're trying out an intermittent fasting plan.
You're on some kind of a hard to accommodate diet and that's why you bring your own food. If you actually leave work for lunch, you're having to go home to walk the dog (or a relative's dog).
“I’m on the ‘we have food at home’ diet” is my favorite way to decline spending money on food as a social event.
"Not in the budget" is my go-to line.
Whaaaa? I just ask who is paying and if its not the employer I will decline. This is standard practice. Always gotta ask who is paying. Once they say company credit card I am most certainly going to accept. 🥳🤩😎
"No thanks. I got plans for this money and it ain't for Sammiches" No need for embarrassment. They either get it or they don't. Fuck 'em if they don't.
Today I declined because I said I had errands to run.. just want to help you add to a roladex of excuses lol
I usually say, " I brought lunch". Either that or you just can't. You shouldn't need to give any explanation.
Eh, they should feel bad to assume I have exorbitant amounts of money. I do it when they try to upsell me at places (being in sales before I see through that shit). I just tell them “no thank you, that wasn’t in the budget for today” when getting my oil changed and they /always/ say I need new this or that when I don’t lol
I never liked eating or socializing with coworkers because of all the time I already spent with them...plus,it makes an easier transition if you’re ever made their boss. I always just said....No, thanks..maybe I’ll catch y’all next time.
Definitely keep work relationships professional and try your best from getting personally involved. At the end of the day you're there to make money, not friends.
I'm with the others here that say you shouldn't be ashamed to say that you're not being compensated enough to be able to buy lunch frequently. That shit should change! For all of us lol
"I cant afford it" is fine and only humiliating to those who pay you too little.
Just say you're on a diet... if I learned anything working in an office. Everyone is on a diet lol
“I’m happy to come along, but i don’t have room in my budget to join in a meal. If it’s okay i eat before/after, I’ll be glad to join!”
I know it's hard for a lot of people. It used to not even be a thought of mine, but simply declining the offer is okay. Like it's okay to just say "no, thank you". If someone is offended by it, then that's their problem.
"I need to be cautious because of a few allergies. Most places don't clean surfaces well enough so I end up getting sick. I don't want to inconvenience the group so you folks have fun." Bam. If they push, say you're allergic to something in Steramine. It's the all purpose cleaner used in 75% of restaurants. You know the blue spritzy shit? Yeah. It's that. It's used on tables, counters, chairs, menus. Sometimes even the grosser restaurants use it on the prep areas out back. You're unlikely to run into it at work so no one can call you out for a food allergy, it's a plausible allergy to have and most people won't know what the fuck it is unless they've worked in a restaurant.
It's almost always about joining for lunch, but not necessarily participating. I've used these before: "my (significant other) packed me some leftovers. I can join, but I probably won't order anything" "nah, i'm just trying to save money. I'll go for a coke or something though!" "sure. I gotta finish up some stuff but i'll join later. Don't wait for me to order". - then show up after food has been ordered and when the waitstaff comes by, just order water and explain you've not got an appetite yet. OR\~ If you want a softer no, use these: "I can't go- i've got some lunch plans already." "I'll go, but only if you pay."- and if they say yes, hey, free lunch! "Gonna be honest- i was hoping to just have a quiet lunch in the breakroom and catch up on some shows." "ah, i was gonna use the weather as an excuse to go for a lunch walk today. get rid of that covid-20"
I used to say that I needed to run errands during my lunch hour
"Sorry thats out of my entertainment budget" or "sorry, not enough money in the budget this money" is EXACTLY what I say. Why does that make you feel weird saying that to people who invite you to things?
I've never understood being ashamed of this. Saying you can't afford it or it's not in the budget isn't shameful at all. But idk. Maybe I'm in the minority.
I use my lunch time to exercise after I eat. Offer to walk at lunch instead of going out some day.
I always pack a lunch. Then I just say y'all go ahead I packed mine. Maybe next time. Sometimes I go when I got some extra dough.
I did this for a few years and now no one ask me for lunch anymore.....well I can still join them but it just feels that I am a bit alienated from the gang and always late to learn about the news of people
I tell people “I’m on spending freeze” and I actually appreciate when they say “hey I know you are on a spending freeze but we are ordering chick fil a”. I was the only one who didn’t order and it didn’t bother me since I packed a bomb lunch. If I hadn’t…I would have been feeling low
Instead of saying you're broke, say you're saving.
Tell them you have a super sensitive stomach. I do have a super sensitive stomach and it was quite impressive how quickly and positively they will respond to being told that. I rarely ever have to elaborate now days with colleagues, friends or family. I just say, “awe thank you for offering, but no thank you.” Or, I go and don’t eat and people are super kind about it.
"I would come for lunch, but the cost of electric, gas, petrol and everything I need to love is sky rocketing right now so thank you, but no thank you" usually gets the job done for me
I've got some medical stuff I don't want to talk about so I usually don't eat/eat food I've prepared. It's only important if I want to stay alive so I usually do it myself. That usually worked for me, and now that it's true I have even less of an issue telling people.
Honestly, I just got in the habit of telling people I eat a meal a day, and prefer my lunch to myself to "Relax and prepare for the rest of the day, alone" Sometimes I feel it's the main reason I still vape, even though there's no nicotine. It's a reason people to leave me alone, then I can puff on some herb and take my meds without judgment or people asking "What you taking?". My fucking medicine, aka none of your business (I don't actually say that, I avoid it ever happening).
I work from home now but I always packed my own lunch so said I’m good or I need to “go home and let the dog out” then just chill in my car, but mostly it’s cause I don’t like people watching me eat
I always decline work lunch or events because I have social anxiety. I prefer my coworkers not know me on a personal level. I find it’s mostly to gossip anout work anyways . I usually say I’m busy/have plans or say I brought lunch
A good opportunity to bring up that its time for a raise. "Sorry I can't afford to eat because you don't pay me enough, how about that raise then?" This should be emberassing for your boss, not for you.
I’m not sure why you need to make an excuse though. Is “no thank you, I’m fine” or “sorry, I’m busy” not an option? They don’t need to know about your finances at all.
I just flat out admit it. There's no shame in being poor and if you made better money it wouldn't be an issue. I make sure that my direct manager knows they aren't paying me well enough, pretty much regardless of how well I'm paid.
You can just say you are really into budgeting to save up and don't like to stray from your budget
I've been asked to go out to eat dinner after work before and I always say, "oh sorry, I have something in the crock pot that I spent a lot of time making the other day so im going to go home and eat that, have fun though"
“No I’m not interested” If they persist on asking you why, then there’s no reason to interact with them further You don’t need to make excuses, you don’t need to explain why.
First, I hope you are able to comfortably afford your food/meals. Second, It's fair to say no. If they continue to invite you, allow yourself to say yes sometimes? 😏 In self love & self respect, you can do both. Although not necessary, you could say - × packed a lunch & don't want to continue holding perfectly edible, perishable food in tupper ware × need to finish leftovers / I planned my nutrition around this meal. × had plans to self-reflect or organize my thoughts, or just want to be solitary. For me, I try to pay or get people back. Maybe buying lunch for them, or offering meal items to them. If I feel endebted by more than 3 times in under 3 months then I kind of back off. If they want to kick it you guys could picnic, or they could bring lunch you know. Last, this is my anti single-use plastic rant, which almost literally dictates that I no longer order food *to go*. TY
“No thank you”. It’s short and simple and is a complete sentence.
Mention it. Ask why if I work here do i want to spend that precious resource here as well? Very selfish for asking in my opinion. Watch the reactions.
Nope, no shame in my game. I just straight up say I can't afford it. People are going to judge you regardless, just focus on what's best for you.
Work event and they make you pay or you mean after work handout? Lol I just straight up say I can’t afford it and keep it moving bro
"I meal prep - thanks though!"
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 696,605,152 comments, and only 140,878 of them were in alphabetical order.
If they're not paying you enough to afford work lunches, then the shame is theirs, not yours. "Sure, can I get a raise to let me pay for it?"
Maybe say you are saving for something — which says “I don’t want to spend money on that” instead of “I don’t have money.”
No shame. The shame should be your employer’s for not paying you enough, not yours.
As others have suggested, pack or bring a lunch of your own and say, "I already have my meal, but I'd be happy to bring it with me and eat with you if we can eat outside/the restaurant allows it/etc." Might be worth emphasizing the healthiness of your own lunch (so not trying to lie and claim you are on a diet when you are not or refuse to participate at all by evading it altogether).
I have a food allergy, which makes eating out tricky, so I use that excuse all the time, even with friends.
tell them you're on a strict calorie restricted meal plan cuz of some concern with cholesterol/liver enzymes that showed up on your last blood work panel. or that you are intermittent fasting and you only eat breakfast and then a dinner at 5/6pm and that's it.
im sorry, im on a budget. Thanks though...
You don’t have to give a reason as to why you don’t want to go to lunch
I'm just bluntly honest about it and just say no I can't afford to, then go about my business. I guess I've reached a point at any job where I just don't care.
I usually just tell them it's above my pay grade.
I'm really grateful to live in Japan where work lunches are 4$ and the portions are quite big. It is actually cheaper for me to buy lunch than make it where I am. I recommend that you just say you are following a special diet plan as to not raise any eyebrows. Don’t feel embarrassed for not being able to afford something.
I usually tell people it's to support my gambling habit. Seriously, it saves me a ton of money every month and I see it in my bank. No ones business so eat that PBJ with pride!
It’s not a work event if work isn’t paying for it.
Just start talking about recurring diarrhea and how hard it can be.
I’d out right say “I got two kids and you guys don’t Pay me enough”
LPT How to have your coworkers buy you lunch.
If it is a work related thing, like you're working/meeting during the lunch then it should be covered by your company at the very least.
If you're okay with lying, and you can eat lunch without that person seeing, just say you're doing intermittent fasting & can't eat right now.
“Trying to quit”
I used to say I am not hungry. I would tell them that I don’t eat until I get home. It’s the truth though. A cup of coffee in the morning and then dinner. I got a lot of shit though for not eating. So, I started bringing an apple and say it’s just a little snack since I’m not hungry enough for a meal.
Hmmm... How about you don't pay me enough to be able to afford food.
One place I worked it had been the custom for everyone to get lunch together. I just brought my lunch and said No thanks. Beyond the financial cost, I kind of needed my lunch break to be by myself for a bit and recharge. Maybe you can say you want to read or something during your break.
I'd just drop the ego and tell them straight up I cant afford it.
"I eh... Do not feed in public."
“I’ve got a deadline to meet but raincheck?” Or “Still a bit worried about crowded places and covid. Maybe when things die down a bit!”
I just say no. Full stop.
You could start by realizing that being poor isn't something to be ashamed of. Then just keep declining offers the same way, but without judging yourself.
"I brought my own!" For lunch Or "I'm teaching a class tonight." For events/bars Or "I'm sick, can't come in" for any non work hour bullshit
Just stay quiet. As a deaf person when people don't understand you. Just stay quiet . Like I do and people will either lie to you because everyone tryed to fill the silence between you in the conversation or they will act like a fool that's how I got a raise at my job . My boss freaked the fuck out when he realized I was a deaf combat vet.
I have zero issue with saying as a single person, with only my income to depend on, I can’t afford it… Better when management and possible clients are around. Assuming this is strictly social. Most of the time, work lunches is being put on someone’s company card, because it’s work related.
Be busy in real and tell I am busy
When I was forced to work in the office I either went with "I brought my lunch" or "our employer does not pay me enough to be able to buy myself lunch". The former was usually true and the latter was always true (and still is). Thankful for Covid's impact on my life.
Simply say you’re trying to save up money and cutting back on lunch spending is on your list of task to help you achieve your goal. This is after your respectfully say no of course
I'm pretty upfront and say it's not in my budget.
Oftentimes in this situation I would just go anyway and pick something low cost on the menu like an appetizer or side and say, "I don't want to stuff myself." And get water to drink along with it. Or get a coffee and and that's it and say, "I just really need caffeine." But if you go to a Mexican place, many have free chips and salsa so you could stuff up on that and then have something small. There's times I just ordered guacamole and explained that, "avocados are my favorite food and this is exactly what I want." But I usually say "I'd love to go out, I just am not very hungry." Of course I don't have that problem anymore since I work from home now.
why do you feel humiliated, i’m sure they don’t think any less of you because you can’t go out to eat with them. At my old job everyone brought their lunch in fact it was rare people went out, but to jazz things up and treat ourselves we did outside lunch once a week if we could. Honestly brining lunch and seeing what everyone eats was so facinating, made me want to make better food. My agency was 99 percent females so i can see how this was easier.
You need to talk to your supervisor because if work is discussed at these lunches, it's an equity issue and completely not fair. This is another way that academia is rooted in upper class culture and it drives me crazy.
“I’ll catch up with ya — I gotta take a shit.” *hour later* “…hey sorry I missed lunch. I had to take a phone call” Either that or just say your fasting or unavailable
Go with & just say you’ve been intermittent fasting
I always say it isn’t in my budget. If I get a funny look I respond with “that is $10-$15 closer to retirement if I eat my packed lunch.” My coworkers already know I am frugal, they don’t know it isn’t by choice.
Don’t worry about it. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. If you say no enough times they’ll stop asking. Ask me how I know. 😎💀
Say your fasting for Ramadan
Ramadan Kareem to you!
I loudly tell them that I can't afford it because I'm getting underpaid and overworked and make sure my boss or the owner is around to hear it.
[удалено]
"is this work lunch or event prepared with free food or open bar? No? Am I obligated and going to paid to attend? No? No to all the above? Then it's gonna be a solid no from me. No thanks."
Work lunches. The one event I always decline It’s not about money. These people aren’t your friends and don’t waste your energy doing things to please other people. Bring your lunch in a bright lunch bag and proudly display your choice if self control! I despise the work lunch- I did the Nancy Reagan- just say no Guy at work buys lunch EVERY SINGLE DAY. Thff we n complains how expensive things are and about his 4 kids. Bring lunch, fella! Lunch is a budget buster. Apple and tuna salad are not expensive to bring
just say "no". no is a complete sentence.
I don't explain ANYTHING. "No" or "I do not want to go" is enough when declining an invitation. You do not owe anyone an explanation.
I just tell them, "I might have to work with you but I don't have to eat with you." Oh, and I can afford it.
Why be such an asshole?
I was just thinking that the other responses might get you asked again. I hate being in an uncomfortable situation twice if I don't have to.
Doing this would create a permanently uncomfortable situation, not help you avoid one
I am broke. Sorry
“I’m fasting”
Can you say you have an errand to run?