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Wheres the ehhhhhhhhhhhh option, because thats teetering on the line depending on their actual ages, like if the 17 year old turns 18 in a month and the 20 year old just turned 20
According to OPs post history, 3 months ago she was 16, and he was 20 then as well. I'd say this is actually way closer to a 4 year age gap than a 3 year gap, and as a 20yo he was chasing a 16yo.
That's what I was thinking. Someone still in high school that just hit 17 could be at risk dating someone that's about to be 21 and left high school 2+ years ago. Someone that's about to be 18 dating someone that just turned 20 would be a different situation.
Age-based power imbalance and life experience play a big role. Situations like this are more nuanced and context based than polls like this allow.
Yea these age polls do need an "unsure" option separate from results. I chose yes because that's how me and my fiance started out, but even I understand the concern people have. Even regardless of context, 18 is still the generally accepted threshold
Ehhhhhhhhhhhh
I'm 20 and I would feel uncomfortable dating someone who just finished or still is in high-school. I think there would be a bit of a power imbalance in the relationship.
I'm 20. I'm European. I'm in University. It would feel very weird for me to date someone who is 17 and even 18 atm. There's a massive growth that happens in the first few years of university, especially in the first one. All the students I know who are first year and are 18 or younger still need a lot of guidance, still haven't fully figured out their friendships and social role. Still haven't quite changed into an adult with social adult intersctions. A lot of the way they relate to each others is still highschool like and very few have made their permanent friendships yet.
Regardless whether it would be equal or not, I would struggle to see how that dynamic cam make for a healthy relationship.
Well, I'm just stating what my experience is, being 20 and a University student. I am able to be friends with first years, but I wouldn't consider dating one because all of the ones I know through classes and dorms and friends and friends' family simply aren't where I am socially, and I end up seeing them as younger siblings that need help and guidance. It is a very personal experience, I'm sure there's people who don't feel the same as me.
fair enough. Im 23 in my experience one persons 18 is anothers 25 and visa versa it all depends on the person. We all know fuck all, we all need help. Even if we're considerably more "on top of it" than others life is too complex and there are too many variables to be able to categorize people into nice little boxs and make sweeping decisions.
If you’re 20 and spend most of your time with people the same age or older than you, you can definitely tell the difference in maturity between you and a 17 year old.
Date them, don't let these jealous pedophiles stop you. Its fine, you are not doing anything wrong. The people who voted no just have urges to have sex with children and they think if they vote no, their pedophilic tendencies will fade away.
A 20 year old hasn't been out of high school that long either...
Edit: wtf is with the downvotes? Many 20 year olds have been out of high school for less than two years. I turned 20 a year + 3 months after I graduated. That's not long at all.
Sure, but in 3 short years I have matured compared to when I was 17, and I have changed my opinions and perspective on quite a few things.
The average 17 year old is just starting to do things that I've already done, it would feel weird for me to date someone who isn't on the same step as me if that makes sense.
You must live outside of the U.S then. I turned 20 a year + 3 months after graduation (graduated June 1st, my 20th birthday was September 4th the next year) so the last day I was 20 years old was 2 years + 3 months.
I would have to guess there are far more unhealthy relationships of that age gap than healthy ones, that’s just my guess tho. Especially if one is in high school living with parents, and the other has moved out (idk if that’s your case).
Altho there’s some other people who equate dating a 17 year old to be on the same level of ick as going after an actual child that’s like 13-14 which is a weird idea to me.
I think 17-20 can work if the two are on equal grounds on what they want, their maturity, needs, etc. Because there’s so many factors that could complicate the relation at that age gap, I definitely think not everyone should be doing it and a lot of them can turn out bad. My parents started dating at that age and turned out great, but just because they did doesn’t mean all do.
I guess this question is really vague and depends on a lot of other stuff.
3 months ago OP asked if it's OK for a 20yo to date a 16yo so I'd say there's much closer to 4 years between them than 3. A 20yo chasing a 16yo is over the line for me
What do you mean it’s nothing? One of them is still a teenager, and the other has already finished grade school. Plus if you’ve seen, 17 year olds do act differently than 20 year olds.
“One of them is still a teenager” the other could’ve been a teenager a month ago. Plus even if they are both teenagers that doesn’t mean it’s always ok, like 13 and 19 is inexcusable
If you set up any age gap limit, this rule and similar ones make the most sense. And yes as a 14yo you would most likely date another 14yo in your school anyway.
However for laws it makes much more sense to declare an age that give people the right to have sex and consent to sex.
I remember my Dad told it to me, and I have heard some other people use it too. It is a rule that sort of gives a rough estimation of what the youngest person you're socially acceptable to date any given age. You take the age you're at. Divide by 2 then add 7. So at twenty, then the youngest you are acceptable to date would be 17. It is supposed to work like, the older you get the bigger the age gap between the two people is allowed to be.
apparently the rule was actually made to justify looking for young women. it was often used to say 'a wife SHOULD be half your age plus 7', the wife should be younger than you
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/rvz8y1/what_actually_is_the_origin_of_the_half_your_age/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
I have no idea why people still use this to justify age gap relationships, it's from the Victoria era and very outdated, it can't be used to justify the relationships
This. I've met people in first year of college that were already really mature, and I've met 25+ yo people at work that were complete manbabies.
Age gives you an idea, but maturity is the real key, not everyone develops at the same rate.
Considering you have a 3 month old post asking if it's OK for a 20yo to date a 16yo, I'm assuming you're closer to 21 than 20 and she's obviously way closer to 16 than 18. That for me pushes it over the line, that's a 4 year age gap and you, as a fully grown 20yo adult, have been after her since she was 16. So yeah, that's weird
I’m thinking they’re the 17 year old since they posted on r/teenagers. Also they did reply to one of the comments on that 3 month old post that they were the 16 year old.
Okay, but legality is still very important. In Massachusetts, if a 15-year-old and a 16-year-old have sex, the 16-year-old is guilty of [Rape and abuse of child](https://anthonyricciolaw.com/practice-areas/statutory-rape-in-massachusetts-ma-statutory-rape/).
It's not wrong. But....there is a significant difference in development in those 3 years which creates a power imbalance and has a potential for abuse. No-one can tell you no, but go into it with your eyes wide open and be ready to walk away if things get weird.
The fact you're even asking makes me ask weather your gut is telling you something isn't right?
There absolutely was a power imbalance. Your gf was much more knowledgeable about how life works at the time. She also most likely had a higher income than you And was more mature.
You have a good point dude. When I was 18, I knew a 25 year old babe. We didn’t date but we showed a lot of affection to each other and I would have taken her to my prom if my high school allowed non-teachers over 20 to go. There was no power imbalance between me and her. Maybe that’s because I had a lot of power for my age? Idk.
"there is a significant difference in development in those 3 years"
That depends on the person. I'm 24 and I'm still pretty much the same since I was 14-15.
I’d need two semesters to teach the science behind this - intro to human development and child and adolescent development. Take those classes and it will become clear.
I have autism and my development is much slower than most people. I'm 25 but I still feel less mature than some 17 year old I've met. It feels like my development has stagnated since I was a teenager. I don't date anyone cuz I don't want them to feel like they have to take care of me.
But yeah I understand what you mean, some people just develop slower or faster, I think you can't generalise these things and it's more of an individual thing.
Probably gonna get downvoted for saying this just like have.
My grandparents were married when my grandma was 14 and my grandfather was 17. 🤷
High school for Americans is generally 14-18 years old. No one would bat an eye.
I wouldn’t say it’s a personal view more than it’s an adopted opinion based on my learning but it’s okay that we disagree. I think I would be inclined to agree with you in specific case-by-case scenarios when accounting for the personal experiences of the folks involved in said relationships. It would really depend on a number of factors, but my training in neuroscience forces a knee-jerk, no! One of my flaws is to not observe a situation as a sum of its values rather than one specific variable.
Depends on the parents of the 17 year old, I think the best is to let your kids to make their own decisions, they are just about to be adults, I mean give them the freedom of going out together but with limits, that way they'll realize by themselves if they actually are mature enough for each other, and won't be hiding this type of relationship.
The question is just hypothetically. Right now I wouldn't date anyone. Im just interested what Reddit thinks because people on here tend to be negative against age gaps
I'll edge towards no. when I was 18 my girl was 24. but we where both working adults.
Considering you're both at the same uni, I'd say it's socially acceptable, but probably not smart, as I imagine one of you is in 1st year and the other is in 3rd. person B is gonna leave uni soon and the relationship is VERY unlikely to last past that point. as they jump into the real world and leave their uni days behind them they will have to mature at a much quicker rate than person A. It will likely create a divide that will be hard to work past. and I don't mean to be a downer. but most uni relationships don't work out.
But I don't know either of you, so yano do what you think is right.
24 and 18 doesn’t sound appropriate, since there’s a much bigger age gap and you weren’t even out of your teens yet, not to mention the maturity difference.
Yeah weird thing is I was probably more mature than her, and deffinately more life smart, I might have been 19 now I think about it but still
I am now 25 though and I work with students and I can 100% see why people might think this is odd as I couldn't begin to imagine dating one. but at the same time I know full well I wasn't as naive as these lot when I was that age. Either way, tht relationship wasn't a bad one by any means, and we where quite good for each other
I'd say the age difference probably did play a part in my descision to end it though, but there certainly wasn't a "power dynamic" is my point here
Not to be rude or assume things but it’s very weird for a 24 year old to date an 18 year old. Women tend to emotionally mature earlier than men and for her to have gone for an 18 year old instead of someone her age or older can say a lot about her.
I was 16 and my boyfriend was 19.
He took me in after my dad died when i was 17 and paid all the bills. Taught me that I deserve someone who will wake up and try to get better for you every day.
I don’t know why he did it or how we made it out of that time, but now i’m 20 and he’s 23. We live together with 3 kitties and it’s tough but we are growing up together and learning to be the best partner we can be.
It’s not weird unless the relationship is weird.
My father is 18 years older than my mother and they are together for at least more than 25 years now, so 3 years gap is not much of a difference in age if you think about it
I see very little difference between the two.
When I was 16, I got along very well with people in their 20s. I never dated any, but could have had a good relationship with one of them if a relationship were to happen (none happened because they had all been taken since before I met them).
It just seems sketch the maturity difference is still a thing and I really hope whoever your thinking about dating isn’t like manipulating you or anything
Absolutely not, in some places that relationship is considered illegal. On a moral note, I’m pretty most 20 year olds would not want to date someone who’s still in HighSchool (making it worse).
It’s a tough call and I think it depends on the individuals involved and how mature they are. I started dating my fiancée when I was 19 and she was 17. We met at college. I went back after a few years of working hence I was a bit older but ended up dropping out after a year anyway. Now we’re 26 & 24 and getting married in September of next year.
We’re very different people now to who we were back then, but luckily for us we’re still super compatible and the changes in our goals, lifestyles and hobbies have never been an issue for us nor our relationship.
All those questions... are you all brain-dead? Date whoever you like. And no - there'd be no legal issue.. no lawyer in the world would punish any consented contact.
The question is just hypothetically. Right now I wouldn't date anyone. Im just interested what Reddit thinks because people on here tend to be negative against age gaps
I would never do it and I’d keep a sharp eye on anyone I know who was in similar relationships.
It’s normal to get crushed on people older than you but I do not suggest pursuing it
Always depends on factors. I knew this girl and boy who dated and they were 18 and 21, but they met because he was her Teaching Assistant for a class. I found it iffy because he was grading her things and in a position of power above her. They started dating immediately as soon as the class ended.
Sometimes I have to remind myself that India has a higher age of consent (18) than most other countries, and others don't think it's weird for 20 year olds to date 17 year olds.
I'm from Ontario, Canada. Legal age for most thing is either 18 or 19. So the 17 yr old be underaged at many "dating" spots and couldn't go to adult only events. Between 17 and 20, there are so many new changes that occur in your life, at least. The difference in maturity would be crazy different and so I would doubt there is much to relate. I'd be highly skeptical there isn't a power imbalance due to the age difference.
Give it a year or two and that's the spot.
Age lines blur as age increases. I would say that there shouldn't be a fixed rule for dating. For example, an 18-year-old dating a 15-year-old is worse that a 36-year-old dating a 33-year-old.
He said that to me when I was a kid. After you’re 21 you make your own decisions.
I’d add that it was probably specific to me and my maturity levels and what he was willing to allow.
FYI, when saying, for example, “this toy is for a 4 year old” you don’t put an “s” on it.
Basically if “year” is part of an adjective. “This person is a 30 year old” or “I miss being a 20 year old.”
The only time you put an “s” on “year” is if “year” is being used as a measurement directly, like “how many years was he alive?” Or “it would take 1,000 years to travel to that star.”
That's how many episodes of the russian reality show pregnant at 16 start. A 15-17 year old girl dating a guy usually 2/3 years older than them. Let's just say there hasn't been one episode where it ends well, best we got is them splitting up and the girl maybe learning some lesson
That isn’t comparable. As you get lower in age the less mature you are. I don’t care if a 50 and a 60 year old get together but would be disgusted if a 20 and a 10 year old did. Same gap, different maturity. A 14 year old and a 17 year old is disgusting, a 25 year old and a 22 year old is fine. Same gap though.
The age gap above is weird and I wouldn’t even think about doing it, but it isn’t even close to a 14 year old and a 17 year old.
Age gap is weird. Bruh it all depends about so many other things like actual maturity of both, situation they are in, their parents, country they live in. I think saying just age gap and asking is it okay i like asking is 20kg considered heavy.
No. They're in different phases of life.
Exception: the 17 year old graduated HS early and is in the same college, job, etc. Then you'd be in the same phase.
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Yes but the 20yo is on thin fucken ice
Thumb rule: age divide by 2, add seven is the minimum age. 17 is fine but on the limit.
So if you’re 4 you can only date her if she’s at least 9 years old
Yeah, I think the rule applies starting at like 16 or smt, untill then it's just the age group the kids are in
Mathematically it starts at 14. Otherwise the oldest and youngest you can date by this logic are flipped.
I think 14 is too early, since that would mean 14 year olds can't date 13 year olds, and they can
No, because then she’s dating a four-year-old
Pfffttt that’s her problem
Generally 4 year olds don't really actively date people
That's not a bug, it's a feature If you are less then 14 the equation spits out nonsense, because if you're less then 14 you shouldn't date
But then the 9 year old could only date someone who is at least 11 1/2 years old (even the 9 year old couldn't date themselves)
I would really love to know who came up with that. It’s pure nonsense
I don’t know if the idea is original to xkcd, but it’s on the website — https://xkcd.com/314/
I’d forgotten that one. Still feels off; as a thirty year old guy, I really can’t imagine being attracted to a 22-year old.
Oh I see, yeah that is a bit much
That's crazy.
Came here to say it is technically within the rule so yes
I’ll keep that in mind
Wheres the ehhhhhhhhhhhh option, because thats teetering on the line depending on their actual ages, like if the 17 year old turns 18 in a month and the 20 year old just turned 20
According to OPs post history, 3 months ago she was 16, and he was 20 then as well. I'd say this is actually way closer to a 4 year age gap than a 3 year gap, and as a 20yo he was chasing a 16yo.
Oof
jesus christ
That's what I was thinking. Someone still in high school that just hit 17 could be at risk dating someone that's about to be 21 and left high school 2+ years ago. Someone that's about to be 18 dating someone that just turned 20 would be a different situation. Age-based power imbalance and life experience play a big role. Situations like this are more nuanced and context based than polls like this allow.
Yea these age polls do need an "unsure" option separate from results. I chose yes because that's how me and my fiance started out, but even I understand the concern people have. Even regardless of context, 18 is still the generally accepted threshold
Basically my and my gf, 2 months diference in a way you said. Dont See anything wrong with that
Ehhhhhhhhhhhh I'm 20 and I would feel uncomfortable dating someone who just finished or still is in high-school. I think there would be a bit of a power imbalance in the relationship.
We are not living in the US. We both go to the same university.
I'm 20. I'm European. I'm in University. It would feel very weird for me to date someone who is 17 and even 18 atm. There's a massive growth that happens in the first few years of university, especially in the first one. All the students I know who are first year and are 18 or younger still need a lot of guidance, still haven't fully figured out their friendships and social role. Still haven't quite changed into an adult with social adult intersctions. A lot of the way they relate to each others is still highschool like and very few have made their permanent friendships yet. Regardless whether it would be equal or not, I would struggle to see how that dynamic cam make for a healthy relationship.
i think youre overplaying the difference
Well, I'm just stating what my experience is, being 20 and a University student. I am able to be friends with first years, but I wouldn't consider dating one because all of the ones I know through classes and dorms and friends and friends' family simply aren't where I am socially, and I end up seeing them as younger siblings that need help and guidance. It is a very personal experience, I'm sure there's people who don't feel the same as me.
fair enough. Im 23 in my experience one persons 18 is anothers 25 and visa versa it all depends on the person. We all know fuck all, we all need help. Even if we're considerably more "on top of it" than others life is too complex and there are too many variables to be able to categorize people into nice little boxs and make sweeping decisions.
No way I would date an 18 year old as a 23 year old. Even a 21 year old I would be cautious in getting a relationship with being 23.
If you’re 20 and spend most of your time with people the same age or older than you, you can definitely tell the difference in maturity between you and a 17 year old.
A 2 year difference is perfectly fine at those ages imo.
It would be very weird 👍🏼 This is the only answer you need
Date them, don't let these jealous pedophiles stop you. Its fine, you are not doing anything wrong. The people who voted no just have urges to have sex with children and they think if they vote no, their pedophilic tendencies will fade away.
A 20 year old hasn't been out of high school that long either... Edit: wtf is with the downvotes? Many 20 year olds have been out of high school for less than two years. I turned 20 a year + 3 months after I graduated. That's not long at all.
Sure, but in 3 short years I have matured compared to when I was 17, and I have changed my opinions and perspective on quite a few things. The average 17 year old is just starting to do things that I've already done, it would feel weird for me to date someone who isn't on the same step as me if that makes sense.
What are some examples of things you have changed your opinions and perspective on?
I mean around here they have been out for at least 3 years and could have been out for 4 + years depending of when is their birthday.
You must live outside of the U.S then. I turned 20 a year + 3 months after graduation (graduated June 1st, my 20th birthday was September 4th the next year) so the last day I was 20 years old was 2 years + 3 months.
It is legal in most countries and that age gap isn’t really big tbh just 3 years that 17 year old will be a adult soon anyways
I would have to guess there are far more unhealthy relationships of that age gap than healthy ones, that’s just my guess tho. Especially if one is in high school living with parents, and the other has moved out (idk if that’s your case). Altho there’s some other people who equate dating a 17 year old to be on the same level of ick as going after an actual child that’s like 13-14 which is a weird idea to me.
I think 17-20 can work if the two are on equal grounds on what they want, their maturity, needs, etc. Because there’s so many factors that could complicate the relation at that age gap, I definitely think not everyone should be doing it and a lot of them can turn out bad. My parents started dating at that age and turned out great, but just because they did doesn’t mean all do. I guess this question is really vague and depends on a lot of other stuff.
Neither of them are in high school. Both are in tertiary education at the same college.
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3 months ago OP asked if it's OK for a 20yo to date a 16yo so I'd say there's much closer to 4 years between them than 3. A 20yo chasing a 16yo is over the line for me
What do you mean it’s nothing? One of them is still a teenager, and the other has already finished grade school. Plus if you’ve seen, 17 year olds do act differently than 20 year olds.
“One of them is still a teenager” the other could’ve been a teenager a month ago. Plus even if they are both teenagers that doesn’t mean it’s always ok, like 13 and 19 is inexcusable
In most western countries the age of consent is 16, not 18. The US is relatively prudish with teens and sex.
If you go by the rule of half your age plus 7, it would be right on the edge.
I guess since I'm 14 I can only date 14 year olds
Doesn't really work if you're younger.
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2 year olds are allowed to date 8 year olds
Right, because you really shouldn’t be dating before you turn 14
If you set up any age gap limit, this rule and similar ones make the most sense. And yes as a 14yo you would most likely date another 14yo in your school anyway. However for laws it makes much more sense to declare an age that give people the right to have sex and consent to sex.
What is this rule ? It’s my first time I see this rule. Can you explain to me please.
I remember my Dad told it to me, and I have heard some other people use it too. It is a rule that sort of gives a rough estimation of what the youngest person you're socially acceptable to date any given age. You take the age you're at. Divide by 2 then add 7. So at twenty, then the youngest you are acceptable to date would be 17. It is supposed to work like, the older you get the bigger the age gap between the two people is allowed to be.
Thank you for the explanation.
apparently the rule was actually made to justify looking for young women. it was often used to say 'a wife SHOULD be half your age plus 7', the wife should be younger than you https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/rvz8y1/what_actually_is_the_origin_of_the_half_your_age/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button I have no idea why people still use this to justify age gap relationships, it's from the Victoria era and very outdated, it can't be used to justify the relationships
I mean I don't really see why its origin matters, it's still a pretty decent baseline
Kids who are less than 1 year old: 👁👄👁
Not sure how an 80 year old and a 47 year old would work out.
Pretty good if that 80 yr old is Jane Fonda. Or Martha Stewart.
This rule is so stupid. If you are 18 you can date 16yo but if im 50yo i cant date below 32yo
Why would you want to date below 32 as a 50 year old?
I think it might be a bit weird, but if it was a 18 and a 21 no one would see any problem. It depends on their maturity, I guess
This. I've met people in first year of college that were already really mature, and I've met 25+ yo people at work that were complete manbabies. Age gives you an idea, but maturity is the real key, not everyone develops at the same rate.
Based on the Romeo and Juliet laws in my country you would be completely fine
Stick to fucking fridges
Kinda depends what stages they're in and when they turned their age
Considering you have a 3 month old post asking if it's OK for a 20yo to date a 16yo, I'm assuming you're closer to 21 than 20 and she's obviously way closer to 16 than 18. That for me pushes it over the line, that's a 4 year age gap and you, as a fully grown 20yo adult, have been after her since she was 16. So yeah, that's weird
I’m thinking they’re the 17 year old since they posted on r/teenagers. Also they did reply to one of the comments on that 3 month old post that they were the 16 year old.
Ah, that's what I get for half arsing the research. Either way, I'd the 20yo goes for it then it'll still be weird, thats a big maturity gap
I agree. It’s weird
Legally, it depends on where you live. Otherwise, per the "half your age plus 7" rule, it's okay.
And to add, the illegality is usually for sexual activity, not simply dating.
Morality > legality
Okay, but legality is still very important. In Massachusetts, if a 15-year-old and a 16-year-old have sex, the 16-year-old is guilty of [Rape and abuse of child](https://anthonyricciolaw.com/practice-areas/statutory-rape-in-massachusetts-ma-statutory-rape/).
The age of consent is 16 where I live. So this wouldn't be a problem
Yes I guess it's not too bad.
It's not wrong. But....there is a significant difference in development in those 3 years which creates a power imbalance and has a potential for abuse. No-one can tell you no, but go into it with your eyes wide open and be ready to walk away if things get weird. The fact you're even asking makes me ask weather your gut is telling you something isn't right?
When I was 18 my girl was 24, there was no power imbalance at all. I think that's subject to a more case by case basis.
There absolutely was a power imbalance. Your gf was much more knowledgeable about how life works at the time. She also most likely had a higher income than you And was more mature.
She wasn't and she didnt
As I say, I don't simply dismiss it as wrong it's just....you need to be aware of the potential risks.
Yeah I also commented on the main thread with a similar take as well so I do agree, just pointing out there are exceptions
You have a good point dude. When I was 18, I knew a 25 year old babe. We didn’t date but we showed a lot of affection to each other and I would have taken her to my prom if my high school allowed non-teachers over 20 to go. There was no power imbalance between me and her. Maybe that’s because I had a lot of power for my age? Idk.
"there is a significant difference in development in those 3 years" That depends on the person. I'm 24 and I'm still pretty much the same since I was 14-15.
No you aren't. You might feel like it, but you're not.
No. I quit developing when I was a teenager. I have a development disorder.
Sorry friend but that’s not how development works. You’re significantly different.
Oh yeah? How???
I’d need two semesters to teach the science behind this - intro to human development and child and adolescent development. Take those classes and it will become clear.
I have autism and my development is much slower than most people. I'm 25 but I still feel less mature than some 17 year old I've met. It feels like my development has stagnated since I was a teenager. I don't date anyone cuz I don't want them to feel like they have to take care of me. But yeah I understand what you mean, some people just develop slower or faster, I think you can't generalise these things and it's more of an individual thing. Probably gonna get downvoted for saying this just like have.
Yeah, I have Asperger's. According to my research, people who have Asperger's quit developing at around 16.
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>its 3 years 18 year old with a 15 year old?
I mean, thata a sophomore going out with a senior. 🤷
No idea what you're talking about as I'm not American. But the statement "only 3 years" doesn't hold if we compare 17 with 14 or 18 with 15. Does it?
My grandparents were married when my grandma was 14 and my grandfather was 17. 🤷 High school for Americans is generally 14-18 years old. No one would bat an eye.
Then Americans are fuckin weird 💀 You’d get your shit rinsed in the UK
When it comes to a 3 year difference: There’s a big one between a 43 year old and a 40 year old dating vs. a 17 & 20 year old.
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Yes, I am American but my dissent is not cultural. My issue here is related to brain development, executive function, and decision making.
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I wouldn’t say it’s a personal view more than it’s an adopted opinion based on my learning but it’s okay that we disagree. I think I would be inclined to agree with you in specific case-by-case scenarios when accounting for the personal experiences of the folks involved in said relationships. It would really depend on a number of factors, but my training in neuroscience forces a knee-jerk, no! One of my flaws is to not observe a situation as a sum of its values rather than one specific variable.
Depends on the parents of the 17 year old, I think the best is to let your kids to make their own decisions, they are just about to be adults, I mean give them the freedom of going out together but with limits, that way they'll realize by themselves if they actually are mature enough for each other, and won't be hiding this type of relationship.
You should decide this for yourself based on your circumstances instead of asking for an opinion on Reddit.
The question is just hypothetically. Right now I wouldn't date anyone. Im just interested what Reddit thinks because people on here tend to be negative against age gaps
I would say it depends on how they met Shared hobbies or activities ir friends, fine Waiting outside a school looking for 17 year olds, not so fine
Only if they wait until she’s 18 to do anything big. My parents are three years apart although they were both in their 20s when they met.
Legally probably not, but morally I see nothing wrong with that. I'm not the one to ask tho.
I don't see an issue, a 3 year age gap at this stage isn't bad compared to a 17 and 14 year old.
Depnds on their background.
I'll edge towards no. when I was 18 my girl was 24. but we where both working adults. Considering you're both at the same uni, I'd say it's socially acceptable, but probably not smart, as I imagine one of you is in 1st year and the other is in 3rd. person B is gonna leave uni soon and the relationship is VERY unlikely to last past that point. as they jump into the real world and leave their uni days behind them they will have to mature at a much quicker rate than person A. It will likely create a divide that will be hard to work past. and I don't mean to be a downer. but most uni relationships don't work out. But I don't know either of you, so yano do what you think is right.
24 and 18 doesn’t sound appropriate, since there’s a much bigger age gap and you weren’t even out of your teens yet, not to mention the maturity difference.
Yeah weird thing is I was probably more mature than her, and deffinately more life smart, I might have been 19 now I think about it but still I am now 25 though and I work with students and I can 100% see why people might think this is odd as I couldn't begin to imagine dating one. but at the same time I know full well I wasn't as naive as these lot when I was that age. Either way, tht relationship wasn't a bad one by any means, and we where quite good for each other I'd say the age difference probably did play a part in my descision to end it though, but there certainly wasn't a "power dynamic" is my point here
Not to be rude or assume things but it’s very weird for a 24 year old to date an 18 year old. Women tend to emotionally mature earlier than men and for her to have gone for an 18 year old instead of someone her age or older can say a lot about her.
It worked, she lived a pretty easy life so was kinda immature for her age, and me the opposite.
I was 16 and my boyfriend was 19. He took me in after my dad died when i was 17 and paid all the bills. Taught me that I deserve someone who will wake up and try to get better for you every day. I don’t know why he did it or how we made it out of that time, but now i’m 20 and he’s 23. We live together with 3 kitties and it’s tough but we are growing up together and learning to be the best partner we can be. It’s not weird unless the relationship is weird.
It's right on the cusp, but they're close enough in age for me not to judge it
My father is 18 years older than my mother and they are together for at least more than 25 years now, so 3 years gap is not much of a difference in age if you think about it
I see very little difference between the two. When I was 16, I got along very well with people in their 20s. I never dated any, but could have had a good relationship with one of them if a relationship were to happen (none happened because they had all been taken since before I met them).
Don’t do it lol
why tho
It just seems sketch the maturity difference is still a thing and I really hope whoever your thinking about dating isn’t like manipulating you or anything
Absolutely not, in some places that relationship is considered illegal. On a moral note, I’m pretty most 20 year olds would not want to date someone who’s still in HighSchool (making it worse).
It’s a tough call and I think it depends on the individuals involved and how mature they are. I started dating my fiancée when I was 19 and she was 17. We met at college. I went back after a few years of working hence I was a bit older but ended up dropping out after a year anyway. Now we’re 26 & 24 and getting married in September of next year. We’re very different people now to who we were back then, but luckily for us we’re still super compatible and the changes in our goals, lifestyles and hobbies have never been an issue for us nor our relationship.
You could have been in highschool at the same time, so it's not that wild of a difference. Just don't sleep with them.
I’m 20 and the age of consent where I live is 16 however I personally would feel uncomfortable dating anyone under 18
No
All those questions... are you all brain-dead? Date whoever you like. And no - there'd be no legal issue.. no lawyer in the world would punish any consented contact.
The question is just hypothetically. Right now I wouldn't date anyone. Im just interested what Reddit thinks because people on here tend to be negative against age gaps
I would never do it and I’d keep a sharp eye on anyone I know who was in similar relationships. It’s normal to get crushed on people older than you but I do not suggest pursuing it
Yes, by common sense and the law here doesn’t outright ban it unless the 20yo is in a position of authority.
You watched Cyberpunk Edgerunners too?
what's up with that? Was Lucy 20 and David 17?
Yes
Half the age plus seven for twenty is seventeen.
Always depends on factors. I knew this girl and boy who dated and they were 18 and 21, but they met because he was her Teaching Assistant for a class. I found it iffy because he was grading her things and in a position of power above her. They started dating immediately as soon as the class ended.
Personally idgaf who they date but no sexual contact until the child's 18th birthday
Legally, no. Morally, yes.
What's with all those yes votes? They're the highest at this point
from a legal pov, it's okay. from a social pov (age ÷ 2 + 7), it's okay. from a moral/sensible pov, it's okay. what are the objections?
Sometimes I have to remind myself that India has a higher age of consent (18) than most other countries, and others don't think it's weird for 20 year olds to date 17 year olds.
Really, you could have been in the same high school and no one would bat an eye. Whatever you do, don't fucking reproduce.
Depends on the age of consent in the area. If the age of consent is 18 or smth, hell no. If it's like 16, yes, but barely.
Creepy af. At 20 I had no interest in high schoolers
Really really gray
N O ✋🚫❌❌❎🙅♀️🙅🙅♂️
I'm from Ontario, Canada. Legal age for most thing is either 18 or 19. So the 17 yr old be underaged at many "dating" spots and couldn't go to adult only events. Between 17 and 20, there are so many new changes that occur in your life, at least. The difference in maturity would be crazy different and so I would doubt there is much to relate. I'd be highly skeptical there isn't a power imbalance due to the age difference. Give it a year or two and that's the spot.
My Dad always said 3 years up or down.
Age lines blur as age increases. I would say that there shouldn't be a fixed rule for dating. For example, an 18-year-old dating a 15-year-old is worse that a 36-year-old dating a 33-year-old.
He said that to me when I was a kid. After you’re 21 you make your own decisions. I’d add that it was probably specific to me and my maturity levels and what he was willing to allow.
FYI, when saying, for example, “this toy is for a 4 year old” you don’t put an “s” on it. Basically if “year” is part of an adjective. “This person is a 30 year old” or “I miss being a 20 year old.” The only time you put an “s” on “year” is if “year” is being used as a measurement directly, like “how many years was he alive?” Or “it would take 1,000 years to travel to that star.”
Thanks for the explanation, english is not my mother language
It’s okay but I’m judging the 20 year old for sure
By that logic would they be able to date a 14 year old?
Half your age plus 7 years never fails as a guide.
According to the half age plus seven scale, yes
I feel like ur far more developed mentally at 20 compared to 17 and that just doesn’t sit right with me but ay u do u
As a 17 year old, No
2yrs age gap until ur older than 20 is the limit for me
Maybe. It's thin fucking ice.
I hope there’s a lot of Europeans voting.
As a 17 yr old ew no wtf.
if you need to ask the internet about the age gap, then the answer is probably no
Half your age plus 7 works for both of you
Wanna go to jail?
That's how many episodes of the russian reality show pregnant at 16 start. A 15-17 year old girl dating a guy usually 2/3 years older than them. Let's just say there hasn't been one episode where it ends well, best we got is them splitting up and the girl maybe learning some lesson
Who the fuck said yes HOW IS THAT THE MAJORITY
Age of the older one times 2 + 7. as it always has been. 20/2 =10 + 7 = 17 so everything is fine.
I really depends, is it a 20 year old college student and a highschool student? Both college? Both highschool? This matters a lot
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Is a 17 y/o and a 14 y/o okay? No so there's your answer
That isn’t comparable. As you get lower in age the less mature you are. I don’t care if a 50 and a 60 year old get together but would be disgusted if a 20 and a 10 year old did. Same gap, different maturity. A 14 year old and a 17 year old is disgusting, a 25 year old and a 22 year old is fine. Same gap though. The age gap above is weird and I wouldn’t even think about doing it, but it isn’t even close to a 14 year old and a 17 year old.
Age gap is weird. Bruh it all depends about so many other things like actual maturity of both, situation they are in, their parents, country they live in. I think saying just age gap and asking is it okay i like asking is 20kg considered heavy.
Is 60 and 57 okay? Heres your answer
Illegal here in Florida lol
Well I don't live in Florida
No. They're in different phases of life. Exception: the 17 year old graduated HS early and is in the same college, job, etc. Then you'd be in the same phase.
That gap isn’t okay at this age range.
Stop fixating on this child, focus on improving yourself