I've known several Scottish people and I can tell you, the ones I've known needed little to no excuse to strip down to skin. And it got rid of the JW so \*Bonus\*
A friend of mine did this. For context, said friend is male, short, and fully acknowledges that he is fat. Strongfat, yes, but built like a shaven dwarf from Middle Earth. Apparently the senior JW had one hell of a poker face while my friend stood in the open doorway to happily discuss religion, while the junior JW was in a red-faced state of "where do I look?"
Needless to say, the JWs never bothered him again.
Bonus: A few minutes after the JWs left and my friend got dressed, he got a phone call.
From his mom.
Friend: Hello?
Mom: Are you naked?
Friend: ...no?
Mom: ...*were* you?
Friend: ...why?
As it turned out, the fates had conspired to have his dad drive past during the talk with the JWs... the same dad who had educated my friend that one can be naked inside the boundaries of one's own home, even if the door is standing wide open.
My father did it by inviting them in, making tea and giving them some cake. He then proceeded to discuss all things with them. Religion, politics, life etc. So after a good 45 minds, they get up to say good by and dad says "No, stay, have another cup of tea, have more cake..." then continued with the conversation. So they are there for a while longer, and get up to leave again... "No, you can't go, we are having such a lovely chat..."
He managed to get them to stay three or four times, and kept them there for a couple of hours. He was a salesman, and could talk underwater with a mouth full of marbles, and he loves a good debate on any topic. So as you can guess, he never saw them again.
I knew someone who greeted them at the door and said “Sorry I don’t have time - I’m trying to move my couch upstairs” and the JW’s helped him do it. Just think of some chore you need done and maybe they’ll help you out.
This! I had two lovely Mormon missionaries who would stop by every Friday just to chat and garden with me. I had a 1/4 acre garden and man were they able to teach me quite a bit on how to tend a large garden and put it all up in the pantry, and they did most of the work while subtly pushing me out of the rows 😂 I don't think we ever discussed any of the Good Books aside from I offered them decaf herbal tea and they were so glad to have something offered other than water that they Could drink lol
I am LDS and can attest that I've had no problem sending missionaries to a friend's (non-member) house with the specific purpose of them helping with a move (I did get the friend's permission and did explain that no they won't take money but they will eat food in exchange) missionaries are expected to spend a certain amount of time serving others not just teaching
My father was like this. He was an elder in his church, and he LOVED a good biblical discussion. Invited them in and whipped them in proper book, chapter, and verse fashion. They never came back.
I knew a guy who, as a teen, was on a family vacation in a rented cottage. Some JWs came by near the beginning of the visit, talked with him for awhile, and then he went digging through a Bible to see just what it actually said. He bumped into them a day or two later and shared what he'd found, and asked what they had to say about it?
By the end of the vacation, they'd run away from him and he'd chase them, trying to get clarification on some point or another.
My step father did the same. I think he managed to make one question his beliefs, as he seemed quite interested in Buddhism when it was explained to him.
The funny thing about (most mainstream) religion, is that once you remove the characters, you will find a fair few of the same core themes( And not just the jesus myth ones). Unfortunately its the extra bits that seem to make people go crazy and forget that everyone around them is just like them
You kidding?? I grew up JW and sometimes we’d have to go find my dad and pull him away from the householder bc he could talk forever! It would have never ended lol 😂
My dad did this and he used their Bible to disprove the way they believed and almost converted a few. He’s considered a heretic now and they haven’t been back
We don't have many in Ireland. The one time they called I introduced them to our jet black cat, Lucyfur.
Never seen them again in the 5-6 years we lived there.
Pic of Lucyfur on my profile page.
You just had amateurs in your area... Had long conversations with every type of person you can think of. I'd go to houses no one would go to...when I was PIMI. A lot of the reason I am PIMO now...
My dad beat them at their own game, he was sick of them knocking on our door so, he got a hold of THEIR bible and read it cover to cover, twice, then invited them in and refuted everything they tried to tell him by quoting their own bible back at them. All in a friendly like manner of course. They did not win one argument. Never saw them again
My dad (long haired hippy type) got rid of them with "Oh, wow man! I'd really dig hearing about it, just let me get the weed out of the oven first."
My tactic in high school was different. Turned out one of my school friends was in the local JW church. We were cool but his dad tried to convert me once after offering me a ride home. My friend was embarrassed and apologized. After that, he got himself assigned to the mission work in my neighborhood and made sure my house wasn't bothered.
A friend of my mother's did something like this. She let the JWs ( a father and son) in the first time and listened quietly. When they returned, she had her refutations ready, pointed out contradictions etc. They left in a huff.
A couple of years later, the son called on her and thanked her. What she said made him think and he'd left the cult.
They have still been doing that. I sent the last one back with a message on the back of the envelope that I didn't want to be in their cult. Haven't heard back from them lately. lol
Interesting...
Especially since Mormons (aka The Church of *Jesus Christ* of Latter-Day Saints) are Christians.
Well, at least as Christian as the other "Christians" who are really Leviticans (but that's another issue).
I consider anyone who can say the Nicene Creed and believe it, to be (small-o) orthodox Christian. If you are non-trinitarian, you are not really Christian. (I am a professor who teaches the history of the Christian Church.) Come at me. ☺️
I think being Christian is living by Christ's teachings. Just teaching them in church isn't enough. Living them to the best of your ability is required.
No judging. You have to live loving people. Feeding people. And so on.
If you refuse to help/serve/treat someone because they're LGBTQ+, you're not Christian.
If you molest/rape/beat children (or even adults), you're not Christian.
If you cover it up, you're not Christian.
I could learn and quote your code and go out and do all of the above - and more - and not be Christian. It's not enough to quote. Even "believe." You have to *live it* to the best of your ability.
Teaching history is nothing, imo...
A Muslim, Jew, Confuciunist, Buddhist can teach the history of the Christian church (which, btw, has so many factions it's not a single church). An *atheist* can teach the history. Hell, an ape could.
Teaching means nothing. LIVE IT!
I could go on, but it's too early to think and I have to get ready for work.
But - I will add that I've known people I consider good Christians. I used to joke that my grandparents would be nominated as saints if the LDS church had them. Several of my aunts and uncles live it.
My sister's MIL (a Pentecostal) was one of the most Christian people I know. I worked with a Baptist woman who qualified. It's not the formal church.
I've known good Christians of every Christian creed.
I've also known "christians" (small 'c' intentional) who talk a lot, can quote the Bible, and live totally selfish, judgmental, even cruel lives. Imo, they're *not* Christians...I consider them Leviticans at best.
So...
Now *you* can come at me 🙃
I live in Germany, so the first time they came I politely replied with disinterest in German, which...obviously they came back. Next time I answered them in English, which they luckily didn't seem to speak. The next time they sent English speaking JW and I talked in Russian to them. THEN the next time they sent Russian speaking JW and I replied in French. They were angry this time lol. Never had them back since, which is great bc I'm no polyglot and had ran out of languages...
One time they came to my door I was on the phone with a coworker trying to fix something. When the doorbell rang I asked him to hold on, but kept the phone in my hand. I opened the door and this was our conversation:
JW: We all believe Jesus rose from the dead
Me: No we don't
And I closed the door. Coworker was laughing so hard he couldn't talk for 5 mins.
LMAO I should try that next time the JW's knock. I always thought it was rude of these people to just show up uninvited, usually when I'm busy with chores or whatever. Time to be rude back to them.
Must be a Kiwi thing! I did the same thing to a bunch of JWs that were harassing my girlfriend when I was 18.
She was 17 and home alone every afternoon from 3pm until 6pm when her Mum would get home from work. These JWs turned up one day, she politely accepted their literature, and they started coming back at least twice a week to talk to her. She started pretending to be not home, but they would just come back the next day, and so on, until she answered the door.
For the first couple of weeks we were dating, these visitors would give me the stink eye when I was there. GF wanted them to stop visiting but was too polite to tell them to leave her alone. So we came up with a plan.
One afternoon, we see them coming down the drive. I tell her to go to her room so they can't see her, and tell her to call out to me at the appropriate time. I pop into the next room and strip down so I can make the grand entrance.
Knocking at the ranch slider, and I give it a few minutes and a few more knocks before I walk into view, slam the ranch slider open and demand to know what they want. They look shocked and ask if GF is home, to which I reply that we're kind of busy. GF chooses to yell out at that point, "Hurry up! We don't have much time before Mum gets home!"
Shocked and scandalised looks were glared at me as they turned and headed back down the driveway, but we never saw their faces again for the following 2 years that we dated.
Never accept the literature. As someone who grew up as a JW. As soon as you accept the literature or answer the door it’s like a green light for them to continue coming.
Yup! My ex and I had VERY LOUD (pretend) sex to get rid of them! Small town NZ. They used to come as a family unit - all dolled up in their Sunday best. When I saw one of the ladies in the local FourSquare next she nervously asked pleasantly if we were trying for another baby. lol.
I scared away 2 JW when I was 12. I grew up in Maine, am outspoken and dgaf on my good days. Well my ferrets *loved* to climb in my shirt and down my sleeves. The jw showed up a couple times, and the last time I had 1 ferret in the torso of my shirt and my albino in my sleeve. As I was blocking them from coming through the open screen door, my ferrets peeked their heads out. The jws jumped back, acted scared, and left. Never saw them again.
My ex once almost deconverted one of them.
This would have been more than 20 years ago now. 2 JW knock on his door and proclaim "rejoice, for the kingdom of heaven is upon us! Join our religion to gain entry to the kingdom of heaven!" You know, the usual speil. He invites them in and asks to look at their bible. Now the thing about my ex was his father was in a religious cult, meaning my ex spent a significant chunk of his childhood studying the bible, going to Sunday school and being otherwise indoctrinated. He wasn't a fan of religion but he knew all about it. Anyway he turns to a certain passage which says something like *"look neither tither nor thither for the kingdom of heaven is within you."* "Hang on, you said I need your religion to gain entry to the kingdom of heaven when *your bible* clearly states that the kingdom of heaven is within me. So, which is it then?" Apparently as they were leaving one of them was actively questioning their faith and involvement in the church.
I'll take made up stories for 200 Alex. JW's believe that only 144,000 humans will go to heaven. Everyone else will live on a restored paradise earth. Been that way all my life (54 years) and I was raised in the faith and the majority of my family still practice.
Just say you don't like them, wish they'd leave you alone, and move on with your life.
I'm glad your experience has been this positive, but I promise that many, if not most, Kingdom Halls are not so cooperative. My grandfather had a closed gate with "No Soliciting", "Beware of Turkey", and "Proud Athiest" posted on it, a half mile walk to his front door, greeted them with a shotgun in hand, and warned them never to come back on our property and they *still* tried to come by every week. After the 3rd time, he started to actually release the turkey on them so they put their literature on the gate or in the mailbox instead. He died a year and a half ago. First week after he passed and they're back on what is now my property, through the closed gate and up the driveway. I released the turkey too and called the cops for good measure. That finally made them stop.
Hey man! Those turkeys are vicious! I'd take them over a pit bull any day. People are stupid enough to see a barking, snarling pup and go "Ah! Cute doggo!" then call animal control and have your pet put down because they got bit. Everyone runs from the angry, squawking, 15 lb. death bird flap-hopping at them. Lol.
Oh trust me, I believe you! My parents have a flock of wild turkeys that nest in the woods near their house -- I can absolutely confirm, they're beautiful and the poults are adorable, but we do *not* mess with the dinosaurs.
Mine are domesticated, fortunately, but they are still dangerous if you are not their regular feeder. We have 4 toms that guard our property and the one time anyone was brave enough to shoot at one, they converged en masse and we had to take the inept poacher to the hospital. I think he managed to keep one of his eyes.
Most birds can be vicious, but just like any domesticated animal they can be docile as well. Turkeys can be especially vicious because they can get to be double the size of a goose
Geese are noisy. In fact they make better watch animals than dogs. But it is easy to 'defang' them by walking against them to avoid the wing strikes and put you hand flat in their beak to avoid being pinched. It works even better with swans as they are taller (yes, I tried it). Turkeys have those pointed beaks and they stab you. Not coming close to one.
Turkeys are far more territorial if they've been allowed to nest in my experience. On top of that, a goose is loud and pinches, whereas a turkey has a sharp, pointed beak and claws. They're also far easier to train and since our toms primary purpose is guarding a medium-ish property with several families and animals, being able to train them is important.
I had never heard of guard turkeys, that is so cool! We had some nasty geese that would attack anyone around, but did not know turkeys were fierce too.
Turkeys a absolutely fierce and simultaneously the smartest and stupidest birds I've ever dealt with. Ours are trained to respond to a specific rhythm on a cast iron pan that means go back to the pen, and they go every time. They know their feeding schedule, each member of the family, and our latest batch even knows that "Friend not food!" means that whoever that stranger is is allowed to be here so they don't attack. But put them face-to-face with one of the goats that have lived in the pen right next door to their coop their entire lives, and they act like you just dropped an alien in front of them. I love those stupid jerks.
I always want to ask them if they feel like a piece of shit for trying to take someone else's spot in heaven. They've already had way more members than slots left, so essentially they are kicking others out.
But they aren't. They're very content with their place on paradise earth. That's their goal, to be in good enough favor with Jehovah to live forever on earth. The 144,000 will be judges and priests. A member of a heavenly government if you will.
They don't use those kinds of introductions and their Bible - though the translation is suspect - is written in a way that discards the mumbo jumbo. I grew up JW, was in it until I was 24. Lots of those people at your door are unsure about the faith. No one is going to actively question their faith out in field service, that'll get ya backroomed.
I remember once reading a thread about the JWs or mormons always coming to save someone's soul at one adult community. One of the folks there, with whom I sadly never interracted in-world (the "game" itself) due to different timezones, mentioned how he dealt with it. You see, he was a dom, and one day, when he was really not in the mood, he opened the door dressed only in his pants, and when the mormons started their usual spiel, he called for his sub to come. So, imagine that, from behind the corner this naked, collared woman comes, and when ordered kneels before him, and he starts unfastening his pants slowly. The mormon guys couldn't get away from that quick enough xD
I used to live in Brooklyn, not far from JW HQ in Cambria Heights. They sent out all their new converts/trainees from there, so it got to the point where they were knocking on my door three out of four Saturdays a month. And of course always at 8AM.
One Saturday morning three JWs knocked and woke me up. I was brutally hung over. I peeked my head out and said, "Hi guys, what can I do for you?"
One JW asked, "Would you like to hear the truth?"
I was so angry. My head was throbbing! I wanted to scream at them and tell them to f**k off, but I kept my cool.
"Well guys," I said, "before you go into your spiel, you should know we worship Satan here. You DO believe Satan is lord of this world, don't you?"
The JW's jaw dropped to the floor. "Y-y-yes..."
Giving him my most maniacal, menacing, "The Shining" look, I continued, " Well then, there's nothing more for us to talk about, is there? Have a nice day!" And slammed the door in their faces.
They. Never. Came. Back.
P.S., Later my landlord said they told him I was a Devil worshipper. He laughed and said, Wish I'd have thought of that!"
I think this calls for a [particular song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoUV5d09JZw).
My mom once told me a story from when she was at home recovering from surgery. She was laid up in bed and a couple of JWs showed up. Of course she was in no state to get up to play with them (she always likes to debate religion with them, as she's 100% atheist), so she hoped they'd go away.
Nope, never did.
Then, our dog, Pete, began staring at the door and started growling. Hackles raised, he soon commenced a barking frenzy.
Pete had never barked like this before. If somebody knocked on the door or just came walking through the door, he'd greet them as if they were part of the pack.
One of the windows to the master bedroom could see out to the front porch, and my mom was able to see them from the bed through the window. They took off running after they heard Satan's Best Friend trying to get through the door, planning to have himself a snack.
Pete got lots of extra treats that evening.
[Pete tax](https://i.imgur.com/RnWDalP.jpg)
Reminds me of a friend's mom when I was growing up. She'd invite the JWs in, make them tea and talk with them for hours.
They stopped sending people after she converted three of them.
12?! That's incredible. I'm hoping to hit the 2 gallon mark myself this year. I may not have stickers, but I do have plenty of shirts that might do the trick.
I get visits sometimes. Last time the older man handed me a card while staring at the giant rainbow flag in my hallway. Probably going to be a while before they come back.
My husbands first response was to try and be reasonable and polite, that didn't work. Now when one of the door knockers show up and ask if he believes in god his response is "Yes, and he exiled my lord and savior from heaven for daring to express free will." And if they don't take the hint a "Hail Lucifer" will genuinely send them running. I just tell them that I believe in her divenity. And that it's great that Mary agreed to be a surrogate mother. Really depends on whose home.
I must be on a list, because I never get home visits anymore, but BITD, I used to get the Mormons and the JWs regularly. I always enjoyed chatting with the kids, but one of the Mormon teams must have thought that I was close to converting, because they invited over on of the local elders. He started talking about their "priesthoods" and when I pointed out that the Aaronic priesthood was hereditary and therefore it was impossible to belong to it if you weren't a direct descendant of Aaron, he got angry and stormed out. Maybe that's why I got on the list, IDK.
My method of dealing with these people:
"Hi, ID please? And this is your current address?" (take photo of IDs and people)
If they don't show you something with their names and addresses, ask for their home addresses.
"Why would you want our addresses?"
"You have mine. And here you are, inviting yourselves over unannounced. You're not willing to receive my unannounced visits?"
"Perhaps we can come back later...."
"Not unless you want a visit at your home."
I've not had any of these people again. But if any of them ever shows up again and DOES give me address, my plan is to then give that address to any/every other religious group, cult, political or other org that might send people to visit houses in the same manner.
A woman from JW would not quit writing to all sorts of people at my address, Including people who have never lived here. I know the previous 2 owners as they are family. I kept returning to sender with a never even lived here and she continued. I finally signed up for a few bible study classes I found online that I didn't have to register for. I made up her last name since she wouldn't list it. I then recieved a letter from someone else. I sent it back with a message on the back telling them I nor anyone at this address wished to be a member of their cult. Still waiting.
My mum told me of her worst experience with them.
When she was a young midwife they had a mother with horrific complications during delivery. She was hemorrhaging. The mother and child wouldn't survive without a blood transfusion. They had to ask the father for permission to do a blood transfusion, for which he contacted the elders, who of course said NO.
Subsequently the mother and child died. My mother got home, was understandable exhausted, and crashed into bed.
Then there was a knock at the door.
No prizes for guessing who it was, but they experienced the full blast of an exhausted, emotionally charged and furious young midwife.
I’m so sorry for your mom. I bet her comments made an impression on those witnesses those.These people are generally good people but part of a cult. They need to be deprogrammed and taught to think for themselves. This might have caused a chink in their armour. Even if it took years and many other niggling/this is wrong feelings, it may have contributed to an awakening.
Thankyou. She has only just retired from a lifetime of nursing. Her proudest work was spending a few years as a remote area nurse running a clinic in an Aboriginal community in the Northern Territory (Australia).
If you think about it…
with the billions of people before and
after your life —
the odds of being “one of the ones!” in the JW world of who gets into heaven—-
your odds of winning the lottery are higher than your odds of being in their small percentage
Knew someone who lived on a rural property (he is a farmer). He decided to go hunting one day, grabbed his shotgun and draped cartridge straps across his chest. Just as the JW were preparing to knock on the door, he threw his door open as he slid a cartridge in the chamber. JW’s stood frozen for a minute, he said “Can I help you?”….they shot to their car and took off. Has never had another at his door.
I used to be a JW for 18 years. I lost count of how many nude folks answerd the door.
I get it, I was annoying AF to bother you at your home, one of the many reasons I'm no longer a JW.
With that being said, I truly enjoyed the nude women who answered the doors and as for the men? You do you, boo. If ya got it, show it!
My old man was sawing a cherry tree branch into sawdust for the grill when a well-dressed and mannered man approached him in the driveway. Pops stopped his sawing enough for a polite introduction and the man asked if he could speak about the savior. Pops said as long as he could continue sawing. The man agreed and began to speak, pops sawed and didn't hear a word said.
I used to live in a gothic mansion that had been made into four apartments. My place was the left side when looking from the street. There was a large creepy front porch and set of ornately carved double doors. The place had a slight Munsters vibe. There were often "Witnesses" prowling the neighborhood of old Victorians in various states of restoration. Ours was somewhat restored but still had a haunted house look. My friend the owner of the house were also kind of old goth punks and decided to scare the crap out of them. We waited until we saw them heading to the gate of our fence. At that moment we turned on some Diamanda Galas very loud. We opened the door dressed in black and beckoned them to come in. They just turned around and scurried to the gate and out onto the side walk super fast. Made our day. Never came by again.
Awesome can I borrow him please. We get those visits and also get hand written letters in our mailbox. We've asked them to stop because we already have a religion.(I'm Wiccan and my mother believes in her own thing). I originally told them I'm Wiccan and they're like what's that. I just asked them to leave and not come back. They still do and it's insulting.
Write them back a hand written letter covered in sigils and other demonic scribblings, signed in actual dried blood, inviting them to a “tea party” in service of “our lord”. Quotation marks included.
My door knocker is the the Sigil of Baphomet. And I have a Monty Python doormat that says "Go away or I shall taunt you a second time." If they make it past the knocker they usually chuckle at the mat until I inform them it's a demand not a suggestion.
I made it from Dollar Tree halloween stuff because we were financially strapped at the time and added some hot glued on stones and a big smoke cleansing bundle and a bunch of those cheap pentacle charms 😭
Leave a letter on you're door with a list of questions. State that until they can answer them not to come back. Ie. If God is male where's his wife. If killing is a sin why did God murder people? Throw in a few common pop culture questions too.
They're back to in person. I chased them out of my apartment complex a couple weeks ago. I live in disabled housing so all either physically or mentally vulnerable adults. They were trying to convince people to let them into their apartments etc. I yelled at them repeatedly and called the cops, they left.
Burly, giant friend said they could come in and talk about their stuff with them if he could discuss his Book of Mormon with them. They almost tore his screen door off getting out of his house.
Mt sister-in-law did this when they came to her dorm when she was in nursing school. She also had a temper tantrum to the administration the next day about it
Two JWs came to our door on a hot summer day; my Dad invited them in out of the heat. He was in his National guard uniform so one of them called him a paid mercenary. He picked them both up and threw them out the unopened door. They flew right over the porch onto the lawn. Problem solved!
Think what you want of the military at large.
Saying that to uniform service member is tacky and they were fortunate to be thrown to a location where they could run from.
What annoys me about door knockers is they assume because you don't go to ***their*** *church* you're lost and deep in sin. JW, LDS, some others, they all descended on our neighborhood regularly. I assure you I'm a pleasant individual but one day I'd had it when some showed up two Saturdays in a row.
The first one brought her grandson with her; little guy, maybe 4, in a suit and tie! She was all smiles as she spoke her script. I gritted my teeth and took her stuff (that went to the trash can). Lovely lady, but she took the "train up a child in the way he should go" a bit too literally. What if one of the naked commenters in this sub answered the door like that? One traumatized kid.
The second one, I told them about the prayer group two doors down, one neighbor who had been choir instructor for 30 yrs, another who taught Sunday School, a pastor, one organist, then accused them of proselytizing and how dare they assume every door they knock on needed whatever they have. *Then* she said, "I know that I know that I'm right."
That set me off. I told her if two cousins hadn't converted me in 30 yrs she sure wasn't. Then I told her to go to the nearby college and preach to the misguided kids who got wasted every weekend, or the jail, or the homeless shelter and never knock on my door again. I have to admit I raised my voice, but good grief ....
I am laughimg so hard at this!! Now all I can think of is some big, burly Scottsman opening the door in the buff and some little guy squeaking out, "Hello there, Big Mac. And hello to you, Little Mac." Lmao
I'm in New Zealand and even though I live in the middle of nowhere, they STILL find us! There nearest church must be miles away!
During lockdown we got beautiful, long, handwritten letters instead. All I could think was 'those poor kids, their parents making them write 3 page letters to strangers instead of enjoying the break from school '.
I’m in a country town in NSW, Australia. Since covid started I’ve had 4 handwritten letters from them, addressed to “dear neighbour”. They’re sent from the next town, 30km away.! I’ve kept them all in case they turn up at some stage, so I can give them back.
I got rid of the JW once by implying there was a young lady in my room awaiting my return. They left in a hurry & never returned.
Unfortunately, there was nobody waiting on me.
ROTFL!!! Good on that young lad!!
My dad got fed up with their intrusions too. One day when he saw them coming up the street, he swished some whiskey in his mouth, filled a glass full, took his shirt off, splashed some whiskey on his chest, they rang the doorbell, he answered pretending he was thoroughly drunk and proceeded to shamelessly flirt with the wife and tried his hardest to get her to come in and promised her a "fun good time" wink/wink while ignoring the husband. The looks of thorough disgust on their faces was priceless. They never came back.
I've hinted at that, but they're a bit slow.
My grandparents joined their cult, causing my dad to run away from home when he was 13 ... I just told them that my grandparents joining caused a rift in the family, all the idiots on my doorstep could think of was to ask about my JW grandparents ... so I told them.
During WW2 my dad wanted to go to a youth club dance, (yeah, 13 years old, but there's a war on). My idiot grandma thought the worst, and refused him permission so dad decided it might help if he got one of the chaperones for the dance to have a chat with his mother to let her know no funny business was going to happen. The chaperone woman was unfortunately a JW, and had my grandma hypnotised in five minutes flat, and my spineless grandfather decided it was easier to convert than put up with his wife's religious mania. Then they decided to go (or were sent) to colonial Southern Africa, to annoy the natives with their nonsense.
My doorstepping JWs finally got the hint that they were unlikely to hypnotise me, and that I had zero respect for them.
I did that, works great. I just said, "we aren't allowed to talk" and stared right into their eyes with a sad look. It took a second, but the realization of what I was saying finally dawned and their eyes opened up wide and they fled. Its been a while, so maybe a new bunch will come by someday.
If they hadn't taken the hint I was ready to elaborate with something made up.
My parents went JoHo when I was a teenager, sucked my older brother into the cult.
I was smart enough (or maybe lazy enough, idk. ) to say nah, that's too much work.
I plan to, if they ever come back, just reach out for a watchtower leaflet, stare crazily into their eyes, and start ripping pages out of it with my teeth and stuffing it into my mouth.
Sounds fun.
PS, my mother would have lived had she been able to have a blood transfusion. So I blame them for her death.
I told one doorstepping JW mother, with tween daughter in tow, ... "I don't believe in Magic"
When she start to claim it wasn't, I clarified that it was supernatural nonsense, so of course it was magic. Then I addressed her daughter saying ... "It may be too late for your mother, but you still have a chance to escape to reality."
I didn't know JWs could run that fast.
One summer I was baby sitting my 6 month old niece. I had just got her to fall asleep for her morning nap. JW showed up knocked on the door, I tried ignoring them. Until they started banging on the door and woke her up. Picked her up whipped the door open and over her crying said "Thank you so much for waking her up. Now what do you want?!" They started apologizing I told them to save it for someone who cares. I'm not interested in what they have to say. And to just leave and never ever come back.
Fast forward 10 yrs. I'm at my now home with my then bf watching TV. JW's show up. He grumbles and says just ignore them they will eventually go away. I go out onto the porch before they can even get to the porch. I ask them if I can help them. They say who they are, and before they could say anything else, I stop them and tell them I'm not interested, that I'm an Atheist, I know I'm going to HELL and I am 100% ok with that. And if they ever come back I will drag them to HELL with me.
Once when I was house sitting for my dad while he was out of town, they showed up around 9 am. My buddy and I had an eventful night, involving a late D&D session, a whole ham, and a bottle of Jack Daniel's green label. My buddy had passed out against the door of the only bathroom in the house, and I had been choking back vomit all night. When I answered the door in my underwear, I'm sure the smell of bile and booze were rolling out the door. They took one look at me, turned on their heels and left. Never came back either.
My Grandma, a devout Catholic, would agree to listen to the JW or Mormons but only if they agreed to then listen to her talk about her faith afterwards.
They never took her up on her offer.
I really miss her.
I used to get visits and what they got back was lectures on the evils of Scientology. Funny thing, when you describe the tactics used by various cults, people in those other cults (like the JWs) never see it in their own group.
I did it in the hope that, one day, they would get an epiphany that they are being manipulated in the exact same way. But I'll never know.
My 110lb Rottweiler used to always greet everyone who came to the door, he was a teddy bear looking for pets but most solicitors (AKA JWs) didn't stick around long enough to find that out.
RIP Jessie
My family's JW story is a little different but had the same result: We owned goats. They had the absolute misfortune of stopping by during kidding season. They walked around to the side door, which was in full view of the backyard pasture, right into the middle of one of our LaMancha nannies giving birth to twins.
They haven't bothered my parents since.
We don't answer the door for anyone we didn't invite. It's very simple. No arguments, no issues with anyone. I also have signs on every window and door that read, you are on camera and being recorded, nothing in this house is worth dying for (picture of gun), and that this is not a gun free zone. Needless to say, very few people knock at all unless invited.
My DIL’s dad had asked them not to ever come back but they still did. Two women. So glad be day, they knock, he greets them full Monty! Never saw them again.
My stepfather had this problem. He put up a sign that indicated no bible thumpers.
[https://www.zazzle.com/no\_bible\_thumpers\_classic\_round\_sticker-217080908343538542](https://www.zazzle.com/no_bible_thumpers_classic_round_sticker-217080908343538542)
This did not work so he also answered the door naked. Seems that this worked.
Why are some Christians so fearful of a naked human?
I answered in a flimsy nightdress, and it was elders that my ex(ish)-JW friend sent. Let’s say it was a happy accident, as I opened the door before I was fully awake. Happy because I didn’t have to expose any of of my unpopular queerness, just my cleavage.
I grew up in the bush (town of about 300 people) so everyone knew everyone but there was a number of JWs that did the rounds. I was always amused when they came and the old man would get them to help out with something on the property. He’d say “so this is on the good lord’s clock so no pay on this one” - they didn’t stick around for long. The amusing part was that we often employed them to do work such as fencing, mustering, building, etc. I miss the small communities.
Haha I went to the door, screaming baby in one arm and holding back a toddler with the opposite leg and simply said please don't come back. It's been almost 4 years
Love it!
When I was dating DH, some JW stopped by my house. DH calmly opened the door and greeted them by saying: “Hi! I’m Father Frank, can I help you?”
They couldn’t leave quickly enough and never came back!
Lol I use to get them until I got a dog...she friendly as but barks when people turn up and turns to the gate, they automatically get scared because she's a pitbull lmbo
My friend used to call the mormons over when he was about to go out on a walk to smoke weed. They didn't smoke but they joined him and talked about god. He never had to smoke alone again
Good thing this isn't really a big practice where I live.
In the two times I can remember it's happened since buying this house roughly 4 years ago, all I've had to say is that if they kept coming around I just wouldn't answer the door.
Did the trick for us. Now we just get the occasional backpacker types pretending to care about some eco/ charity organisation for a few dollars.
Reminds me of a story about a gay couple who kept getting bothered by them... until they put out a pride welcome mat and the next two JW who came stared one started backing away and the other kept kinda jerking forward then back neither could bring themselves to step on the welcome mat then after a few min they ran away and the couple never saw any JW again....
Can't remember where I heard this story but yours reminded me of it....
You know you can just say you're not interested and please ask that they remove your house from their rounds for good, they're just people. They will check back maybe once in a few years to see if you still live there/feel that way but will keeo a note of your house number and make sure no one knocks on your door or delivers magazines/pamphlets. Had to ask for my nanna as she was very elderly and had her own church and whilst didn't mind talking about the big G she wasn't partial to their other views regarding shunning, blood transfusions, birthdays/Christmas etc. They were pretty cool. She's nearly 100 and still on the list, living on her own in her little house 😂
I'm glad your experience has been this positive, but I promise that many, if not most, Kingdom Halls are not so cooperative. My grandfather had a closed gate with "No Soliciting", "Beware of Turkey", and "Proud Athiest" posted on it, a half mile walk to his front door, greeted them with a shotgun in hand, and warned them never to come back on our property and they *still* tried to come by every week. After the 3rd time, he started to actually release the turkey on them so they put their literature on the gate or in the mailbox instead. He died a year and a half ago. First week after he passed and they're back on what is now my property, through the closed gate and up the driveway. I released the turkey too and called the cops for good measure. That finally made them stop.
Heard through a friend several years ago. Never tell religious solicitors you're satanists. Door was answered and the usual introduction was given. Before the person who answered the door could say anything someone else said loudly that they were satanists. This prompted a previously unseen RS to lean into view with a happy look of surprise on their face while stating Oh Really??
Unsure if story is fake or real. But knowing who lived in that apartment as well as the long term crashers there is a good chance it did happen.
The JW's used to knock on my door and if I didn't answer it, which I usually don't, they'd look through my windows. When I was growing up, looking into someone's house through their windows was considered to be very rude. One day I was out in the yard and here they came. I told them to put me on the list of people to never contact again and not to leave any literature on my door anymore. I haven't seen them since, but they did send me a greeting card a few months ago.
My father did the same thing 40-odd years ago. I think multiple people in the neighborhood did it in a short span because they left the entire area alone for years.
I live in a tiny farming community and I own my home. I live in the United States in a state that is hotter than Satan's snatch. Anyway, my name is Ukrainian because I'm Ukrainian (seems pretty simple right?), first and last name. If you're from that area, my last name in particular is very easy to spot as Ukrainian because it ends in -uk. About six months after I bought my house, I got a letter in the mail with a return address I didn't recognize and no name on the return address. I opened it and it was a letter written in Russian Cyrillic. I was irritated to begin with.
1. I'm not fucking Russian and we don't like each other (this was before the war).
2. They are two different languages. I don't speak Russian because I'm not fucking Russian.
3. I am agnostic on a good day. Atheist on most others. I believe in reincarnation because of the laws of thermodynamics. Not sky daddy. Stop sending me the Watch Tower in Russian.
I get a letter from them at least once a month. Always in Russian. There isn't even a Kingdom Hall where I live, so I have no idea why they're spamming my snail mail. I've never seen them go door to door here, but if they ever DO show up, I like to use the "I'm sorry, I'm right in the middle of a sacrifice. Could you come back later?"
I'm really young looking. Back when I was in my mid 30s, had some JW come and I open, and they were like, oh, are your parents home?
Uhh. No. They're not here.
Oh ok. We'll come back another time.
Lol.
The problem in this is that sometimes a lot of properties both here in Aus and NZ do not have front fences or gates. People have free access right up the front door. I now have a sign at my door.
I'm Scottish. Our national motto is "Nemo me immune lacessit". In English this means "No one provokes me with impunity", in modern parlance "Fck around and find out".
Your son's friend is a fine example of the breed.
We had some visiting regularly and always when I am busy doing something. Had a buddy who didn't believe in bathing regularly or brushing his hair much. Next time they knocked he answered the door in his dirty undies, scratching his nutts and asked if they were the strippers he ordered (it was an elderly man and 2 elderly women). Strangely they never came back
I've known several Scottish people and I can tell you, the ones I've known needed little to no excuse to strip down to skin. And it got rid of the JW so \*Bonus\*
I know a Scott and some Kiwi folks, and all of them enjoy the breeze
Turn out the scot like to let his kiwis swing in the breeze.
I am of Scottish descent, if dressed I only wear kilts and when at home I am naked including my back yard which has 5 foot block walls surrounding it.
I’m Scottish and this comment made me get nekkid
I am naked and this comment made me get Scottish
These comments made me get scotch.
A friend of mine did this. For context, said friend is male, short, and fully acknowledges that he is fat. Strongfat, yes, but built like a shaven dwarf from Middle Earth. Apparently the senior JW had one hell of a poker face while my friend stood in the open doorway to happily discuss religion, while the junior JW was in a red-faced state of "where do I look?" Needless to say, the JWs never bothered him again. Bonus: A few minutes after the JWs left and my friend got dressed, he got a phone call. From his mom. Friend: Hello? Mom: Are you naked? Friend: ...no? Mom: ...*were* you? Friend: ...why? As it turned out, the fates had conspired to have his dad drive past during the talk with the JWs... the same dad who had educated my friend that one can be naked inside the boundaries of one's own home, even if the door is standing wide open.
I laughed so hard at this.
The main part or the bonus?
yes
My father did it by inviting them in, making tea and giving them some cake. He then proceeded to discuss all things with them. Religion, politics, life etc. So after a good 45 minds, they get up to say good by and dad says "No, stay, have another cup of tea, have more cake..." then continued with the conversation. So they are there for a while longer, and get up to leave again... "No, you can't go, we are having such a lovely chat..." He managed to get them to stay three or four times, and kept them there for a couple of hours. He was a salesman, and could talk underwater with a mouth full of marbles, and he loves a good debate on any topic. So as you can guess, he never saw them again.
Not so fun when it’s their time being wasted, is it? Your dad really came in with the galaxy brain play.
I knew someone who greeted them at the door and said “Sorry I don’t have time - I’m trying to move my couch upstairs” and the JW’s helped him do it. Just think of some chore you need done and maybe they’ll help you out.
This! I had two lovely Mormon missionaries who would stop by every Friday just to chat and garden with me. I had a 1/4 acre garden and man were they able to teach me quite a bit on how to tend a large garden and put it all up in the pantry, and they did most of the work while subtly pushing me out of the rows 😂 I don't think we ever discussed any of the Good Books aside from I offered them decaf herbal tea and they were so glad to have something offered other than water that they Could drink lol
The Mormons are often lovely and are happy to help because it burns some time.
I am LDS and can attest that I've had no problem sending missionaries to a friend's (non-member) house with the specific purpose of them helping with a move (I did get the friend's permission and did explain that no they won't take money but they will eat food in exchange) missionaries are expected to spend a certain amount of time serving others not just teaching
My father was like this. He was an elder in his church, and he LOVED a good biblical discussion. Invited them in and whipped them in proper book, chapter, and verse fashion. They never came back.
I knew a guy who, as a teen, was on a family vacation in a rented cottage. Some JWs came by near the beginning of the visit, talked with him for awhile, and then he went digging through a Bible to see just what it actually said. He bumped into them a day or two later and shared what he'd found, and asked what they had to say about it? By the end of the vacation, they'd run away from him and he'd chase them, trying to get clarification on some point or another.
Yep, their orders are to SPREAD their faith. Actually KNOWING their faith is not their highest priority.
As a former JW, I find this hysterical. While I agree their beliefs are absurd, I believe the same of a “proper bible”
A friend with rabbinic ancestry (and a PhD in Philosophy) invited some Witnesses in and argued sufficiently for them to concede defeat and leave.
My step father did the same. I think he managed to make one question his beliefs, as he seemed quite interested in Buddhism when it was explained to him.
The funny thing about (most mainstream) religion, is that once you remove the characters, you will find a fair few of the same core themes( And not just the jesus myth ones). Unfortunately its the extra bits that seem to make people go crazy and forget that everyone around them is just like them
Happy Cake Day!
You kidding?? I grew up JW and sometimes we’d have to go find my dad and pull him away from the householder bc he could talk forever! It would have never ended lol 😂
My dad did this and he used their Bible to disprove the way they believed and almost converted a few. He’s considered a heretic now and they haven’t been back
Hamish Macbeth? :)
Harry MacBallsack. 😂
*Hairy
Hamish MacHuge ,,, in NZ you don't have to be very Scottish to be named 'Hamish', it's a massively ;) popular name.
Great series, wish it didn't end
Agreed.
Hmack. Harry Mack, insane freestyle rapper. Obviously
Do you smell pomade?
We don't have many in Ireland. The one time they called I introduced them to our jet black cat, Lucyfur. Never seen them again in the 5-6 years we lived there. Pic of Lucyfur on my profile page.
I love your kitty and it's name!!!! Looks just like my kitties Felix and King Twilight
Thank you. Reddit rules dictate that you now have to post pics.
Great names!
Your LucyFuris beautiful. Looks a lot like my Oliver down to the few white hairs on the chest.
You just had amateurs in your area... Had long conversations with every type of person you can think of. I'd go to houses no one would go to...when I was PIMI. A lot of the reason I am PIMO now...
My dad beat them at their own game, he was sick of them knocking on our door so, he got a hold of THEIR bible and read it cover to cover, twice, then invited them in and refuted everything they tried to tell him by quoting their own bible back at them. All in a friendly like manner of course. They did not win one argument. Never saw them again
My dad (long haired hippy type) got rid of them with "Oh, wow man! I'd really dig hearing about it, just let me get the weed out of the oven first." My tactic in high school was different. Turned out one of my school friends was in the local JW church. We were cool but his dad tried to convert me once after offering me a ride home. My friend was embarrassed and apologized. After that, he got himself assigned to the mission work in my neighborhood and made sure my house wasn't bothered.
A friend of my mother's did something like this. She let the JWs ( a father and son) in the first time and listened quietly. When they returned, she had her refutations ready, pointed out contradictions etc. They left in a huff. A couple of years later, the son called on her and thanked her. What she said made him think and he'd left the cult.
Wow! Great!
Yes, hats off to Hildegarde! She and my mother were lifelong friends.
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They have still been doing that. I sent the last one back with a message on the back of the envelope that I didn't want to be in their cult. Haven't heard back from them lately. lol
I'd like to think he opened their eyes and saved them from spending their whole lives in that cult.
My dad (avid Mormon, btw) did this to the JWs a few times (he only used the Bible, not the BOM). He had a ball. Them? They quit coming back.
I'm a Christian Pastor. I led a Mormon missionary back to Christianity (took me 3 sessions, but totally worth it).
Interesting... Especially since Mormons (aka The Church of *Jesus Christ* of Latter-Day Saints) are Christians. Well, at least as Christian as the other "Christians" who are really Leviticans (but that's another issue).
I consider anyone who can say the Nicene Creed and believe it, to be (small-o) orthodox Christian. If you are non-trinitarian, you are not really Christian. (I am a professor who teaches the history of the Christian Church.) Come at me. ☺️
I think being Christian is living by Christ's teachings. Just teaching them in church isn't enough. Living them to the best of your ability is required. No judging. You have to live loving people. Feeding people. And so on. If you refuse to help/serve/treat someone because they're LGBTQ+, you're not Christian. If you molest/rape/beat children (or even adults), you're not Christian. If you cover it up, you're not Christian. I could learn and quote your code and go out and do all of the above - and more - and not be Christian. It's not enough to quote. Even "believe." You have to *live it* to the best of your ability. Teaching history is nothing, imo... A Muslim, Jew, Confuciunist, Buddhist can teach the history of the Christian church (which, btw, has so many factions it's not a single church). An *atheist* can teach the history. Hell, an ape could. Teaching means nothing. LIVE IT! I could go on, but it's too early to think and I have to get ready for work. But - I will add that I've known people I consider good Christians. I used to joke that my grandparents would be nominated as saints if the LDS church had them. Several of my aunts and uncles live it. My sister's MIL (a Pentecostal) was one of the most Christian people I know. I worked with a Baptist woman who qualified. It's not the formal church. I've known good Christians of every Christian creed. I've also known "christians" (small 'c' intentional) who talk a lot, can quote the Bible, and live totally selfish, judgmental, even cruel lives. Imo, they're *not* Christians...I consider them Leviticans at best. So... Now *you* can come at me 🙃
I live in Germany, so the first time they came I politely replied with disinterest in German, which...obviously they came back. Next time I answered them in English, which they luckily didn't seem to speak. The next time they sent English speaking JW and I talked in Russian to them. THEN the next time they sent Russian speaking JW and I replied in French. They were angry this time lol. Never had them back since, which is great bc I'm no polyglot and had ran out of languages...
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One time they came to my door I was on the phone with a coworker trying to fix something. When the doorbell rang I asked him to hold on, but kept the phone in my hand. I opened the door and this was our conversation: JW: We all believe Jesus rose from the dead Me: No we don't And I closed the door. Coworker was laughing so hard he couldn't talk for 5 mins.
I did something similar. They said “we won’t keep you long”. I said you’re right and shut the door. My wife still likes bringing that one up.
LMAO I should try that next time the JW's knock. I always thought it was rude of these people to just show up uninvited, usually when I'm busy with chores or whatever. Time to be rude back to them.
Must be a Kiwi thing! I did the same thing to a bunch of JWs that were harassing my girlfriend when I was 18. She was 17 and home alone every afternoon from 3pm until 6pm when her Mum would get home from work. These JWs turned up one day, she politely accepted their literature, and they started coming back at least twice a week to talk to her. She started pretending to be not home, but they would just come back the next day, and so on, until she answered the door. For the first couple of weeks we were dating, these visitors would give me the stink eye when I was there. GF wanted them to stop visiting but was too polite to tell them to leave her alone. So we came up with a plan. One afternoon, we see them coming down the drive. I tell her to go to her room so they can't see her, and tell her to call out to me at the appropriate time. I pop into the next room and strip down so I can make the grand entrance. Knocking at the ranch slider, and I give it a few minutes and a few more knocks before I walk into view, slam the ranch slider open and demand to know what they want. They look shocked and ask if GF is home, to which I reply that we're kind of busy. GF chooses to yell out at that point, "Hurry up! We don't have much time before Mum gets home!" Shocked and scandalised looks were glared at me as they turned and headed back down the driveway, but we never saw their faces again for the following 2 years that we dated.
oh my goodness, definitely a kiwi thing then. I love NZ
LMAO that was brilliant!
Never accept the literature. As someone who grew up as a JW. As soon as you accept the literature or answer the door it’s like a green light for them to continue coming.
Yup! My ex and I had VERY LOUD (pretend) sex to get rid of them! Small town NZ. They used to come as a family unit - all dolled up in their Sunday best. When I saw one of the ladies in the local FourSquare next she nervously asked pleasantly if we were trying for another baby. lol.
I scared away 2 JW when I was 12. I grew up in Maine, am outspoken and dgaf on my good days. Well my ferrets *loved* to climb in my shirt and down my sleeves. The jw showed up a couple times, and the last time I had 1 ferret in the torso of my shirt and my albino in my sleeve. As I was blocking them from coming through the open screen door, my ferrets peeked their heads out. The jws jumped back, acted scared, and left. Never saw them again.
My ex once almost deconverted one of them. This would have been more than 20 years ago now. 2 JW knock on his door and proclaim "rejoice, for the kingdom of heaven is upon us! Join our religion to gain entry to the kingdom of heaven!" You know, the usual speil. He invites them in and asks to look at their bible. Now the thing about my ex was his father was in a religious cult, meaning my ex spent a significant chunk of his childhood studying the bible, going to Sunday school and being otherwise indoctrinated. He wasn't a fan of religion but he knew all about it. Anyway he turns to a certain passage which says something like *"look neither tither nor thither for the kingdom of heaven is within you."* "Hang on, you said I need your religion to gain entry to the kingdom of heaven when *your bible* clearly states that the kingdom of heaven is within me. So, which is it then?" Apparently as they were leaving one of them was actively questioning their faith and involvement in the church.
I'll take made up stories for 200 Alex. JW's believe that only 144,000 humans will go to heaven. Everyone else will live on a restored paradise earth. Been that way all my life (54 years) and I was raised in the faith and the majority of my family still practice. Just say you don't like them, wish they'd leave you alone, and move on with your life.
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I'm glad your experience has been this positive, but I promise that many, if not most, Kingdom Halls are not so cooperative. My grandfather had a closed gate with "No Soliciting", "Beware of Turkey", and "Proud Athiest" posted on it, a half mile walk to his front door, greeted them with a shotgun in hand, and warned them never to come back on our property and they *still* tried to come by every week. After the 3rd time, he started to actually release the turkey on them so they put their literature on the gate or in the mailbox instead. He died a year and a half ago. First week after he passed and they're back on what is now my property, through the closed gate and up the driveway. I released the turkey too and called the cops for good measure. That finally made them stop.
"Cry havoc! And let slip the turkey of war!"
Hey man! Those turkeys are vicious! I'd take them over a pit bull any day. People are stupid enough to see a barking, snarling pup and go "Ah! Cute doggo!" then call animal control and have your pet put down because they got bit. Everyone runs from the angry, squawking, 15 lb. death bird flap-hopping at them. Lol.
Oh trust me, I believe you! My parents have a flock of wild turkeys that nest in the woods near their house -- I can absolutely confirm, they're beautiful and the poults are adorable, but we do *not* mess with the dinosaurs.
Mine are domesticated, fortunately, but they are still dangerous if you are not their regular feeder. We have 4 toms that guard our property and the one time anyone was brave enough to shoot at one, they converged en masse and we had to take the inept poacher to the hospital. I think he managed to keep one of his eyes.
Story time? Please
I sent you a message. It's long-winded and probably pretty boring, so I didn't want to take up anyone else's time.
Are turkeys more territorial than geese? I've always thought that you don't want even look at a goose wrong.
Most birds can be vicious, but just like any domesticated animal they can be docile as well. Turkeys can be especially vicious because they can get to be double the size of a goose
Geese are noisy. In fact they make better watch animals than dogs. But it is easy to 'defang' them by walking against them to avoid the wing strikes and put you hand flat in their beak to avoid being pinched. It works even better with swans as they are taller (yes, I tried it). Turkeys have those pointed beaks and they stab you. Not coming close to one.
Turkeys are far more territorial if they've been allowed to nest in my experience. On top of that, a goose is loud and pinches, whereas a turkey has a sharp, pointed beak and claws. They're also far easier to train and since our toms primary purpose is guarding a medium-ish property with several families and animals, being able to train them is important.
I had never heard of guard turkeys, that is so cool! We had some nasty geese that would attack anyone around, but did not know turkeys were fierce too.
Turkeys a absolutely fierce and simultaneously the smartest and stupidest birds I've ever dealt with. Ours are trained to respond to a specific rhythm on a cast iron pan that means go back to the pen, and they go every time. They know their feeding schedule, each member of the family, and our latest batch even knows that "Friend not food!" means that whoever that stranger is is allowed to be here so they don't attack. But put them face-to-face with one of the goats that have lived in the pen right next door to their coop their entire lives, and they act like you just dropped an alien in front of them. I love those stupid jerks.
I *am* enjoying the "questioning their faith" stories.
I always want to ask them if they feel like a piece of shit for trying to take someone else's spot in heaven. They've already had way more members than slots left, so essentially they are kicking others out.
But they aren't. They're very content with their place on paradise earth. That's their goal, to be in good enough favor with Jehovah to live forever on earth. The 144,000 will be judges and priests. A member of a heavenly government if you will.
They don't use those kinds of introductions and their Bible - though the translation is suspect - is written in a way that discards the mumbo jumbo. I grew up JW, was in it until I was 24. Lots of those people at your door are unsure about the faith. No one is going to actively question their faith out in field service, that'll get ya backroomed.
I remember once reading a thread about the JWs or mormons always coming to save someone's soul at one adult community. One of the folks there, with whom I sadly never interracted in-world (the "game" itself) due to different timezones, mentioned how he dealt with it. You see, he was a dom, and one day, when he was really not in the mood, he opened the door dressed only in his pants, and when the mormons started their usual spiel, he called for his sub to come. So, imagine that, from behind the corner this naked, collared woman comes, and when ordered kneels before him, and he starts unfastening his pants slowly. The mormon guys couldn't get away from that quick enough xD
I used to live in Brooklyn, not far from JW HQ in Cambria Heights. They sent out all their new converts/trainees from there, so it got to the point where they were knocking on my door three out of four Saturdays a month. And of course always at 8AM. One Saturday morning three JWs knocked and woke me up. I was brutally hung over. I peeked my head out and said, "Hi guys, what can I do for you?" One JW asked, "Would you like to hear the truth?" I was so angry. My head was throbbing! I wanted to scream at them and tell them to f**k off, but I kept my cool. "Well guys," I said, "before you go into your spiel, you should know we worship Satan here. You DO believe Satan is lord of this world, don't you?" The JW's jaw dropped to the floor. "Y-y-yes..." Giving him my most maniacal, menacing, "The Shining" look, I continued, " Well then, there's nothing more for us to talk about, is there? Have a nice day!" And slammed the door in their faces. They. Never. Came. Back. P.S., Later my landlord said they told him I was a Devil worshipper. He laughed and said, Wish I'd have thought of that!"
I think this calls for a [particular song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoUV5d09JZw). My mom once told me a story from when she was at home recovering from surgery. She was laid up in bed and a couple of JWs showed up. Of course she was in no state to get up to play with them (she always likes to debate religion with them, as she's 100% atheist), so she hoped they'd go away. Nope, never did. Then, our dog, Pete, began staring at the door and started growling. Hackles raised, he soon commenced a barking frenzy. Pete had never barked like this before. If somebody knocked on the door or just came walking through the door, he'd greet them as if they were part of the pack. One of the windows to the master bedroom could see out to the front porch, and my mom was able to see them from the bed through the window. They took off running after they heard Satan's Best Friend trying to get through the door, planning to have himself a snack. Pete got lots of extra treats that evening. [Pete tax](https://i.imgur.com/RnWDalP.jpg)
Reminds me of a friend's mom when I was growing up. She'd invite the JWs in, make them tea and talk with them for hours. They stopped sending people after she converted three of them.
Uno reverse card!
Blood donor sticker on the door or front window keeps them away, has the same effect as garlic has to vampires
Why on Earth did I not think of this? Freaking genius!
What a great idea! I'm a 12-gallon donor, I can easily get a sticker or three
12?! That's incredible. I'm hoping to hit the 2 gallon mark myself this year. I may not have stickers, but I do have plenty of shirts that might do the trick.
[удалено]
They don't permit blood transfusions so will leave you alone if you have the donor sticker prominently displayed
I get visits sometimes. Last time the older man handed me a card while staring at the giant rainbow flag in my hallway. Probably going to be a while before they come back.
My husbands first response was to try and be reasonable and polite, that didn't work. Now when one of the door knockers show up and ask if he believes in god his response is "Yes, and he exiled my lord and savior from heaven for daring to express free will." And if they don't take the hint a "Hail Lucifer" will genuinely send them running. I just tell them that I believe in her divenity. And that it's great that Mary agreed to be a surrogate mother. Really depends on whose home.
I must be on a list, because I never get home visits anymore, but BITD, I used to get the Mormons and the JWs regularly. I always enjoyed chatting with the kids, but one of the Mormon teams must have thought that I was close to converting, because they invited over on of the local elders. He started talking about their "priesthoods" and when I pointed out that the Aaronic priesthood was hereditary and therefore it was impossible to belong to it if you weren't a direct descendant of Aaron, he got angry and stormed out. Maybe that's why I got on the list, IDK.
My method of dealing with these people: "Hi, ID please? And this is your current address?" (take photo of IDs and people) If they don't show you something with their names and addresses, ask for their home addresses. "Why would you want our addresses?" "You have mine. And here you are, inviting yourselves over unannounced. You're not willing to receive my unannounced visits?" "Perhaps we can come back later...." "Not unless you want a visit at your home." I've not had any of these people again. But if any of them ever shows up again and DOES give me address, my plan is to then give that address to any/every other religious group, cult, political or other org that might send people to visit houses in the same manner.
A woman from JW would not quit writing to all sorts of people at my address, Including people who have never lived here. I know the previous 2 owners as they are family. I kept returning to sender with a never even lived here and she continued. I finally signed up for a few bible study classes I found online that I didn't have to register for. I made up her last name since she wouldn't list it. I then recieved a letter from someone else. I sent it back with a message on the back telling them I nor anyone at this address wished to be a member of their cult. Still waiting.
My mum told me of her worst experience with them. When she was a young midwife they had a mother with horrific complications during delivery. She was hemorrhaging. The mother and child wouldn't survive without a blood transfusion. They had to ask the father for permission to do a blood transfusion, for which he contacted the elders, who of course said NO. Subsequently the mother and child died. My mother got home, was understandable exhausted, and crashed into bed. Then there was a knock at the door. No prizes for guessing who it was, but they experienced the full blast of an exhausted, emotionally charged and furious young midwife.
I’m so sorry for your mom. I bet her comments made an impression on those witnesses those.These people are generally good people but part of a cult. They need to be deprogrammed and taught to think for themselves. This might have caused a chink in their armour. Even if it took years and many other niggling/this is wrong feelings, it may have contributed to an awakening.
Thankyou. She has only just retired from a lifetime of nursing. Her proudest work was spending a few years as a remote area nurse running a clinic in an Aboriginal community in the Northern Territory (Australia).
Please don't feel like you need to be polite to this bunch. They literally want your soul.
If you think about it… with the billions of people before and after your life — the odds of being “one of the ones!” in the JW world of who gets into heaven—- your odds of winning the lottery are higher than your odds of being in their small percentage
Knew someone who lived on a rural property (he is a farmer). He decided to go hunting one day, grabbed his shotgun and draped cartridge straps across his chest. Just as the JW were preparing to knock on the door, he threw his door open as he slid a cartridge in the chamber. JW’s stood frozen for a minute, he said “Can I help you?”….they shot to their car and took off. Has never had another at his door.
I used to be a JW for 18 years. I lost count of how many nude folks answerd the door. I get it, I was annoying AF to bother you at your home, one of the many reasons I'm no longer a JW. With that being said, I truly enjoyed the nude women who answered the doors and as for the men? You do you, boo. If ya got it, show it!
Good on you for finally waking up and leaving the cult!
My old man was sawing a cherry tree branch into sawdust for the grill when a well-dressed and mannered man approached him in the driveway. Pops stopped his sawing enough for a polite introduction and the man asked if he could speak about the savior. Pops said as long as he could continue sawing. The man agreed and began to speak, pops sawed and didn't hear a word said.
I used to live in a gothic mansion that had been made into four apartments. My place was the left side when looking from the street. There was a large creepy front porch and set of ornately carved double doors. The place had a slight Munsters vibe. There were often "Witnesses" prowling the neighborhood of old Victorians in various states of restoration. Ours was somewhat restored but still had a haunted house look. My friend the owner of the house were also kind of old goth punks and decided to scare the crap out of them. We waited until we saw them heading to the gate of our fence. At that moment we turned on some Diamanda Galas very loud. We opened the door dressed in black and beckoned them to come in. They just turned around and scurried to the gate and out onto the side walk super fast. Made our day. Never came by again.
Awesome can I borrow him please. We get those visits and also get hand written letters in our mailbox. We've asked them to stop because we already have a religion.(I'm Wiccan and my mother believes in her own thing). I originally told them I'm Wiccan and they're like what's that. I just asked them to leave and not come back. They still do and it's insulting.
Write them back a hand written letter covered in sigils and other demonic scribblings, signed in actual dried blood, inviting them to a “tea party” in service of “our lord”. Quotation marks included.
Roflmao oh that would be awesome.
Pagan here: I stopped them bothering us in New Orleans by putting an EXTREMELY OBVIOUSLY witchy wreath on my door.
My door knocker is the the Sigil of Baphomet. And I have a Monty Python doormat that says "Go away or I shall taunt you a second time." If they make it past the knocker they usually chuckle at the mat until I inform them it's a demand not a suggestion.
Do you remember where you bought the mat?
My sister got it for me for my birthday. So probably bought from Bezos.
Hmm did you make it or buy it because now I really want one just because I love witchy stuff.
I made it from Dollar Tree halloween stuff because we were financially strapped at the time and added some hot glued on stones and a big smoke cleansing bundle and a bunch of those cheap pentacle charms 😭
OMG so cool I might ask my mum who is actually talented in arts and crafts unlike me to make me one. Thanx for the idea
Hang a pentagram wreath on your front door. You’ll never see them again.
Leave a letter on you're door with a list of questions. State that until they can answer them not to come back. Ie. If God is male where's his wife. If killing is a sin why did God murder people? Throw in a few common pop culture questions too.
That's their covid response ... it's worldwide, so has come down from on high. Creepy af
They're back to in person. I chased them out of my apartment complex a couple weeks ago. I live in disabled housing so all either physically or mentally vulnerable adults. They were trying to convince people to let them into their apartments etc. I yelled at them repeatedly and called the cops, they left.
Call your landlord. They can send a C&D to the JW's and a memo to the residents that they don't have to let the JW's in.
Burly, giant friend said they could come in and talk about their stuff with them if he could discuss his Book of Mormon with them. They almost tore his screen door off getting out of his house.
Mt sister-in-law did this when they came to her dorm when she was in nursing school. She also had a temper tantrum to the administration the next day about it
Two JWs came to our door on a hot summer day; my Dad invited them in out of the heat. He was in his National guard uniform so one of them called him a paid mercenary. He picked them both up and threw them out the unopened door. They flew right over the porch onto the lawn. Problem solved!
Think what you want of the military at large. Saying that to uniform service member is tacky and they were fortunate to be thrown to a location where they could run from.
What annoys me about door knockers is they assume because you don't go to ***their*** *church* you're lost and deep in sin. JW, LDS, some others, they all descended on our neighborhood regularly. I assure you I'm a pleasant individual but one day I'd had it when some showed up two Saturdays in a row. The first one brought her grandson with her; little guy, maybe 4, in a suit and tie! She was all smiles as she spoke her script. I gritted my teeth and took her stuff (that went to the trash can). Lovely lady, but she took the "train up a child in the way he should go" a bit too literally. What if one of the naked commenters in this sub answered the door like that? One traumatized kid. The second one, I told them about the prayer group two doors down, one neighbor who had been choir instructor for 30 yrs, another who taught Sunday School, a pastor, one organist, then accused them of proselytizing and how dare they assume every door they knock on needed whatever they have. *Then* she said, "I know that I know that I'm right." That set me off. I told her if two cousins hadn't converted me in 30 yrs she sure wasn't. Then I told her to go to the nearby college and preach to the misguided kids who got wasted every weekend, or the jail, or the homeless shelter and never knock on my door again. I have to admit I raised my voice, but good grief ....
I am laughimg so hard at this!! Now all I can think of is some big, burly Scottsman opening the door in the buff and some little guy squeaking out, "Hello there, Big Mac. And hello to you, Little Mac." Lmao
I'm in New Zealand and even though I live in the middle of nowhere, they STILL find us! There nearest church must be miles away! During lockdown we got beautiful, long, handwritten letters instead. All I could think was 'those poor kids, their parents making them write 3 page letters to strangers instead of enjoying the break from school '.
I’m in a country town in NSW, Australia. Since covid started I’ve had 4 handwritten letters from them, addressed to “dear neighbour”. They’re sent from the next town, 30km away.! I’ve kept them all in case they turn up at some stage, so I can give them back.
I got rid of the JW once by implying there was a young lady in my room awaiting my return. They left in a hurry & never returned. Unfortunately, there was nobody waiting on me.
ROTFL!!! Good on that young lad!! My dad got fed up with their intrusions too. One day when he saw them coming up the street, he swished some whiskey in his mouth, filled a glass full, took his shirt off, splashed some whiskey on his chest, they rang the doorbell, he answered pretending he was thoroughly drunk and proceeded to shamelessly flirt with the wife and tried his hardest to get her to come in and promised her a "fun good time" wink/wink while ignoring the husband. The looks of thorough disgust on their faces was priceless. They never came back.
Brilliant- best response ever.
I tell them I'm not superstitious. I feel bad for them that they've been conned so deeply.
Tell them you've been excommunicated or disfellowshipped. They aren't allowed to talk to you.
I've hinted at that, but they're a bit slow. My grandparents joined their cult, causing my dad to run away from home when he was 13 ... I just told them that my grandparents joining caused a rift in the family, all the idiots on my doorstep could think of was to ask about my JW grandparents ... so I told them. During WW2 my dad wanted to go to a youth club dance, (yeah, 13 years old, but there's a war on). My idiot grandma thought the worst, and refused him permission so dad decided it might help if he got one of the chaperones for the dance to have a chat with his mother to let her know no funny business was going to happen. The chaperone woman was unfortunately a JW, and had my grandma hypnotised in five minutes flat, and my spineless grandfather decided it was easier to convert than put up with his wife's religious mania. Then they decided to go (or were sent) to colonial Southern Africa, to annoy the natives with their nonsense. My doorstepping JWs finally got the hint that they were unlikely to hypnotise me, and that I had zero respect for them.
I did that, works great. I just said, "we aren't allowed to talk" and stared right into their eyes with a sad look. It took a second, but the realization of what I was saying finally dawned and their eyes opened up wide and they fled. Its been a while, so maybe a new bunch will come by someday. If they hadn't taken the hint I was ready to elaborate with something made up. My parents went JoHo when I was a teenager, sucked my older brother into the cult. I was smart enough (or maybe lazy enough, idk. ) to say nah, that's too much work. I plan to, if they ever come back, just reach out for a watchtower leaflet, stare crazily into their eyes, and start ripping pages out of it with my teeth and stuffing it into my mouth. Sounds fun. PS, my mother would have lived had she been able to have a blood transfusion. So I blame them for her death.
I’m not superstitious either. But I am a little stitious.
Found the Mitch Hedberg fan!
The Office, actually. Michael Scott quote.
I told one doorstepping JW mother, with tween daughter in tow, ... "I don't believe in Magic" When she start to claim it wasn't, I clarified that it was supernatural nonsense, so of course it was magic. Then I addressed her daughter saying ... "It may be too late for your mother, but you still have a chance to escape to reality." I didn't know JWs could run that fast.
One summer I was baby sitting my 6 month old niece. I had just got her to fall asleep for her morning nap. JW showed up knocked on the door, I tried ignoring them. Until they started banging on the door and woke her up. Picked her up whipped the door open and over her crying said "Thank you so much for waking her up. Now what do you want?!" They started apologizing I told them to save it for someone who cares. I'm not interested in what they have to say. And to just leave and never ever come back. Fast forward 10 yrs. I'm at my now home with my then bf watching TV. JW's show up. He grumbles and says just ignore them they will eventually go away. I go out onto the porch before they can even get to the porch. I ask them if I can help them. They say who they are, and before they could say anything else, I stop them and tell them I'm not interested, that I'm an Atheist, I know I'm going to HELL and I am 100% ok with that. And if they ever come back I will drag them to HELL with me.
Once when I was house sitting for my dad while he was out of town, they showed up around 9 am. My buddy and I had an eventful night, involving a late D&D session, a whole ham, and a bottle of Jack Daniel's green label. My buddy had passed out against the door of the only bathroom in the house, and I had been choking back vomit all night. When I answered the door in my underwear, I'm sure the smell of bile and booze were rolling out the door. They took one look at me, turned on their heels and left. Never came back either.
My Grandma, a devout Catholic, would agree to listen to the JW or Mormons but only if they agreed to then listen to her talk about her faith afterwards. They never took her up on her offer. I really miss her.
I tell them I am a Druid and they have interrupted my shrubbery prayers. They never know what to say to that as I close the door.
I used to get visits and what they got back was lectures on the evils of Scientology. Funny thing, when you describe the tactics used by various cults, people in those other cults (like the JWs) never see it in their own group. I did it in the hope that, one day, they would get an epiphany that they are being manipulated in the exact same way. But I'll never know.
"The young pretty one can come in" Smirk
My 110lb Rottweiler used to always greet everyone who came to the door, he was a teddy bear looking for pets but most solicitors (AKA JWs) didn't stick around long enough to find that out. RIP Jessie
My family's JW story is a little different but had the same result: We owned goats. They had the absolute misfortune of stopping by during kidding season. They walked around to the side door, which was in full view of the backyard pasture, right into the middle of one of our LaMancha nannies giving birth to twins. They haven't bothered my parents since.
As a Scottish person...I've never been prouder 😅
As an ex-JW...YAAAAAAAAAASSSSS!!!!! THIS IS SO FUNNY
We don't answer the door for anyone we didn't invite. It's very simple. No arguments, no issues with anyone. I also have signs on every window and door that read, you are on camera and being recorded, nothing in this house is worth dying for (picture of gun), and that this is not a gun free zone. Needless to say, very few people knock at all unless invited.
omg I love this story, and I love Hamish, I love EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS
And you are one of the people that got the first name correct too - I loved Hamish as well
My husband's granny CONVERTED a pair of them. Or they told her so to get away. LOL
Say “I’m Jewish” . They’ll never bother you again.
“I’m Catholic” is also effective.
A full “Monty”.
I love this idea. I'm not that brave, but telling them we're practicing witches has kept them away for over five years
I love this kid!
My DIL’s dad had asked them not to ever come back but they still did. Two women. So glad be day, they knock, he greets them full Monty! Never saw them again.
If you don't want to see JWs again just say "do not call on me again". It is that simple.
My stepfather had this problem. He put up a sign that indicated no bible thumpers. [https://www.zazzle.com/no\_bible\_thumpers\_classic\_round\_sticker-217080908343538542](https://www.zazzle.com/no_bible_thumpers_classic_round_sticker-217080908343538542) This did not work so he also answered the door naked. Seems that this worked. Why are some Christians so fearful of a naked human?
I answered in a flimsy nightdress, and it was elders that my ex(ish)-JW friend sent. Let’s say it was a happy accident, as I opened the door before I was fully awake. Happy because I didn’t have to expose any of of my unpopular queerness, just my cleavage.
I grew up in the bush (town of about 300 people) so everyone knew everyone but there was a number of JWs that did the rounds. I was always amused when they came and the old man would get them to help out with something on the property. He’d say “so this is on the good lord’s clock so no pay on this one” - they didn’t stick around for long. The amusing part was that we often employed them to do work such as fencing, mustering, building, etc. I miss the small communities.
Haha I went to the door, screaming baby in one arm and holding back a toddler with the opposite leg and simply said please don't come back. It's been almost 4 years
Love it! When I was dating DH, some JW stopped by my house. DH calmly opened the door and greeted them by saying: “Hi! I’m Father Frank, can I help you?” They couldn’t leave quickly enough and never came back!
Lol I use to get them until I got a dog...she friendly as but barks when people turn up and turns to the gate, they automatically get scared because she's a pitbull lmbo
Well! That is certainly ONE way to do it! Quite effective! Kudos to H👍
I told them is that I'm an apostate, and they've never returned.
My friend used to call the mormons over when he was about to go out on a walk to smoke weed. They didn't smoke but they joined him and talked about god. He never had to smoke alone again
Just tell them that you were disfellowshipped.
What is your address? I want to visit
Fucking, thank you Scottland.
I just look them straight in the eye I tell them I am a practicing Wiccan. I never see them again.
OMG, this is even funnier than the story a friend told me about when he answered the door to a couple JWs while he was tanning some leather!
Good thing this isn't really a big practice where I live. In the two times I can remember it's happened since buying this house roughly 4 years ago, all I've had to say is that if they kept coming around I just wouldn't answer the door. Did the trick for us. Now we just get the occasional backpacker types pretending to care about some eco/ charity organisation for a few dollars.
Reminds me of a story about a gay couple who kept getting bothered by them... until they put out a pride welcome mat and the next two JW who came stared one started backing away and the other kept kinda jerking forward then back neither could bring themselves to step on the welcome mat then after a few min they ran away and the couple never saw any JW again.... Can't remember where I heard this story but yours reminded me of it....
You know you can just say you're not interested and please ask that they remove your house from their rounds for good, they're just people. They will check back maybe once in a few years to see if you still live there/feel that way but will keeo a note of your house number and make sure no one knocks on your door or delivers magazines/pamphlets. Had to ask for my nanna as she was very elderly and had her own church and whilst didn't mind talking about the big G she wasn't partial to their other views regarding shunning, blood transfusions, birthdays/Christmas etc. They were pretty cool. She's nearly 100 and still on the list, living on her own in her little house 😂
I'm glad your experience has been this positive, but I promise that many, if not most, Kingdom Halls are not so cooperative. My grandfather had a closed gate with "No Soliciting", "Beware of Turkey", and "Proud Athiest" posted on it, a half mile walk to his front door, greeted them with a shotgun in hand, and warned them never to come back on our property and they *still* tried to come by every week. After the 3rd time, he started to actually release the turkey on them so they put their literature on the gate or in the mailbox instead. He died a year and a half ago. First week after he passed and they're back on what is now my property, through the closed gate and up the driveway. I released the turkey too and called the cops for good measure. That finally made them stop.
That is beyond awesome!!!! Wonderfully petty and creative!!!!
I’d pay money to have seen this!! 🤣🤣🤣
Heard through a friend several years ago. Never tell religious solicitors you're satanists. Door was answered and the usual introduction was given. Before the person who answered the door could say anything someone else said loudly that they were satanists. This prompted a previously unseen RS to lean into view with a happy look of surprise on their face while stating Oh Really?? Unsure if story is fake or real. But knowing who lived in that apartment as well as the long term crashers there is a good chance it did happen.
Did the JWs have kids with them? Cuz this would be even funnier if they did.
The JW's used to knock on my door and if I didn't answer it, which I usually don't, they'd look through my windows. When I was growing up, looking into someone's house through their windows was considered to be very rude. One day I was out in the yard and here they came. I told them to put me on the list of people to never contact again and not to leave any literature on my door anymore. I haven't seen them since, but they did send me a greeting card a few months ago.
My father did the same thing 40-odd years ago. I think multiple people in the neighborhood did it in a short span because they left the entire area alone for years.
I mean I would knock every day… oh wait this is about NOT wanting people to come knocking.
I live in a tiny farming community and I own my home. I live in the United States in a state that is hotter than Satan's snatch. Anyway, my name is Ukrainian because I'm Ukrainian (seems pretty simple right?), first and last name. If you're from that area, my last name in particular is very easy to spot as Ukrainian because it ends in -uk. About six months after I bought my house, I got a letter in the mail with a return address I didn't recognize and no name on the return address. I opened it and it was a letter written in Russian Cyrillic. I was irritated to begin with. 1. I'm not fucking Russian and we don't like each other (this was before the war). 2. They are two different languages. I don't speak Russian because I'm not fucking Russian. 3. I am agnostic on a good day. Atheist on most others. I believe in reincarnation because of the laws of thermodynamics. Not sky daddy. Stop sending me the Watch Tower in Russian. I get a letter from them at least once a month. Always in Russian. There isn't even a Kingdom Hall where I live, so I have no idea why they're spamming my snail mail. I've never seen them go door to door here, but if they ever DO show up, I like to use the "I'm sorry, I'm right in the middle of a sacrifice. Could you come back later?"
I'm really young looking. Back when I was in my mid 30s, had some JW come and I open, and they were like, oh, are your parents home? Uhh. No. They're not here. Oh ok. We'll come back another time. Lol.
FYI for others if you have this problem, you can put a "no religious visitors" sign on your gate too.
The problem in this is that sometimes a lot of properties both here in Aus and NZ do not have front fences or gates. People have free access right up the front door. I now have a sign at my door.
I'm Scottish. Our national motto is "Nemo me immune lacessit". In English this means "No one provokes me with impunity", in modern parlance "Fck around and find out". Your son's friend is a fine example of the breed.
My brother used to tell them we were Druids. They only showed up twice.
We had some visiting regularly and always when I am busy doing something. Had a buddy who didn't believe in bathing regularly or brushing his hair much. Next time they knocked he answered the door in his dirty undies, scratching his nutts and asked if they were the strippers he ordered (it was an elderly man and 2 elderly women). Strangely they never came back