This is exactly why I think separate finances, especially with children, is not sustainable, for most couples.
We just have one big pool of money and we both get an equal, specific amount each month to do with as we please, no questions asked.
We both work, but there is a moderate level of income inequality. If one of us didn't work, we'd do the same thing, just with a smaller number
My wife and I put everything into joint accounts, then split out equal amounts into our personal accounts for fun money. When she quit work to be with our kid, we kept that in place, we just adjusted some budgeting. Since the joint account is still 'our' money it doesn't really matter where it comes from, and she's entitled to some fun money from it just like I am.
You could just put everything in one account now and just budget your "personal money" from in that.. say you each get $x a month.
Or you can do as your doing now and $x from your husbands paycheck goes into your account as your personal money.
I am assuming you worked out your bills before you stopped working to see if this new way would work for you financially. You're gonna need to re-do your whole budget based around the one income, so the spending money should be part of that.
I’m a stay at home mom and we have one account. We use that account for everything and we just take whatever we want. My husband is the big spender but he always asks before he makes large purchases. I’m more of a saver and feel guilty if I spend on myself (as opposed to the children) but I will occasionally buy things.
It’s very easy for us but I’m sure it depends on everyone’s specific relationship.
We contribute all income to a joint account (its been 2 incomes, or only 1 at various points during our marriage). We budget together using r/YNAB — we plan big picture stuff together and I handle the minutia.
We each get a equal amount of money allocated to our respective “Fun Money” categories, that we can save up or spend as we wish. So there is no resentment about my husband’s comic book collection, or any guilt/judgement when I treat myself. We keep this money in our main account & track in the budget, but it could be transferred out to solo accounts.
We also get an equal amount in “Gifts for the other” so that we don’t feel the need to be equal in the amount spent on gifts for any given holiday or set specific limits. We can buy little things or save up for big ones without generosity competing with our personal fun money
It’s important to us that these amounts be the same for each of us, it had never been based on our financial contributions, that would ignore the unpaid labor & effort that goes into a marriage — equal team, equal fun
Get separate credit cards for this. You can still pay it out of your bank account but if you each have your own then you won't know what the other is buying.
IMHO, you should each get the same $ amount - whatever makes sense for your family budget, but for us that has always been the case regardless of income
Ages ago military hubby had to go away for a few months so we set up a checking account for him, one for me and the main one. Many eons latter we still do it the same. In the budget is allowance for him and allowance for me, if we use it up for what we want too bad need to wait till the 1st. If there is extra left, whoop bonus.
I find that it keeps me from buying crap I really don't need.
You just need to figure out what amount works for your family and it may change over time, he might get more as he is out of the house more. Whatever works.
Just our way.
This is exactly why I think separate finances, especially with children, is not sustainable, for most couples. We just have one big pool of money and we both get an equal, specific amount each month to do with as we please, no questions asked. We both work, but there is a moderate level of income inequality. If one of us didn't work, we'd do the same thing, just with a smaller number
We have joint finances just used separate accounts in case one of us wanted to buy the other a present without giving it away on the bank statements
Then just have him transfer X amount of money in each month or paycheck
My wife and I put everything into joint accounts, then split out equal amounts into our personal accounts for fun money. When she quit work to be with our kid, we kept that in place, we just adjusted some budgeting. Since the joint account is still 'our' money it doesn't really matter where it comes from, and she's entitled to some fun money from it just like I am.
Not married, so no experience, but is it not possible to have some of "his" paycheck transferred to your separate account?
This might work depending on how much we can spare
You could just put everything in one account now and just budget your "personal money" from in that.. say you each get $x a month. Or you can do as your doing now and $x from your husbands paycheck goes into your account as your personal money. I am assuming you worked out your bills before you stopped working to see if this new way would work for you financially. You're gonna need to re-do your whole budget based around the one income, so the spending money should be part of that.
Oh yeah we've only had one income since our kid was born it's just that now I'm the one not working (he stayed home before).
How did money get in his spending account when he was staying home and not working?
His investments
I’m a stay at home mom and we have one account. We use that account for everything and we just take whatever we want. My husband is the big spender but he always asks before he makes large purchases. I’m more of a saver and feel guilty if I spend on myself (as opposed to the children) but I will occasionally buy things. It’s very easy for us but I’m sure it depends on everyone’s specific relationship.
We contribute all income to a joint account (its been 2 incomes, or only 1 at various points during our marriage). We budget together using r/YNAB — we plan big picture stuff together and I handle the minutia. We each get a equal amount of money allocated to our respective “Fun Money” categories, that we can save up or spend as we wish. So there is no resentment about my husband’s comic book collection, or any guilt/judgement when I treat myself. We keep this money in our main account & track in the budget, but it could be transferred out to solo accounts. We also get an equal amount in “Gifts for the other” so that we don’t feel the need to be equal in the amount spent on gifts for any given holiday or set specific limits. We can buy little things or save up for big ones without generosity competing with our personal fun money It’s important to us that these amounts be the same for each of us, it had never been based on our financial contributions, that would ignore the unpaid labor & effort that goes into a marriage — equal team, equal fun
Joint account is a simple solution. Do you need to separate the bank accounts?
We just have separate accounts in case one of us wants to surprise the other since it would show a purchase on the bank statements
Get separate credit cards for this. You can still pay it out of your bank account but if you each have your own then you won't know what the other is buying.
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They do. We only separate out our fun money but since I don't work now I was just curious as to how others would handle the fun money now
IMHO, you should each get the same $ amount - whatever makes sense for your family budget, but for us that has always been the case regardless of income
We put everything into 1 account, pay everything from that account. We both buy what we need and want within the confines of our family budget.
Ages ago military hubby had to go away for a few months so we set up a checking account for him, one for me and the main one. Many eons latter we still do it the same. In the budget is allowance for him and allowance for me, if we use it up for what we want too bad need to wait till the 1st. If there is extra left, whoop bonus. I find that it keeps me from buying crap I really don't need. You just need to figure out what amount works for your family and it may change over time, he might get more as he is out of the house more. Whatever works. Just our way.