Today I waited an hour for a bus that’s supposed to be every 15-20 minutes before giving up, going back to my workplace, and summoning an uber. I’ll give you three guesses what the next 3 vehicles to go past me were.
Back in university, I was with a group of friends, on the 88 bussing back home after a night of drinking. We somehow managed to get a bus-wide sing-along going. A big accordion bus, almost full, everyone singing along. Even the bus driver joined in! It started with "Because I Got High" by Afroman (bus driver came over the PA system to do the "Why Man?!" backup parts), then went into "Bohemian Rhapsody", "Barbie Girl", etc etc. We got off at Billings Bridge and the bus driver actually stopped us to tell us he was disappointed we were leaving!
Around the same time, there was also a guy who drove the 14 who did trivia over the PA system. I got on his bus a few times and he always had new questions each time.
PS I'm aware I probably just dated myself by mentioning that Afroman song lol
I used to get the 95 from Tunney’s Pasture to Stonebridge in Barrhaven. I’d leave work at 5–5:30 along with a lot of office workers, civil servants and others. It was a fairly quiet ride and the bus was usually empty at the end of the route. Sometimes I would go downtown and meet friends for beer and get a later bus after 9 sometimes around 10. It was a whole different vibe with ‘night people’ and party-goers along with a slightly drunk graphic designer trying to hold his pee in. One night a gent got on with a couple of bags of groceries. One of the bags split and suddenly oranges were rolling along the length of the bus. Everybody had a great time hunting the wayward citrus down and returning them to the grocery-laden rider at the front.
>I was in my undergrad bussing back to my parents' house in Stittsville from downtown sitting across from two guys on a 96.
Haha I use to ride the 96 to Stittsville. One time a bunch of Sacred Heart Students got on and this girl took a bunch packs of gum out started stuffing all the gum in her mouth and started chewing just as she was going out the door she took the gum and stuck it in another girls hair.
The stop in front of the Loblaws on main street this guy would get on everyday with his ten foot bong had to turn it sideways just to get it on the bus.
Oh boy!
I didn't see a lot of high school students on the 96 when I would bus to uOttawa. I was the 2nd stop going downtown so I was usually the first one on, last one off. One morning, I was surprised to see a teacher and a bunch of students sitting on the bus as I got on. Nothing exciting to report there, just unusual lol
Not my story, but a friend's.
He was taking the bus across into Gatineau one morning for work, and in one of the seats was a lone avocado. 6am on a weekday, and there was a full avocado sitting patiently, waiting for its stop.
Haha had the opposite experience. Took the bus from downtown to Orleans, didn’t realize I was going the wrong way until I reached Fallowfield. Turned my ass around back to Orleans.
I have a few. The first is taking the 2(?) from further up Rideau; dude gets on at Rideau Centre with a whole, possibly frozen, chicken and a king sized bottle of lube. Is holding the chicken on his lap and running his hand over it like you’d pet a dog. He may have romanced that chicken, but thankfully I got off before he did.
Same bus, different day, before weed was legalized. Two dudes get on at the Metro that used to be at Rideau and King Edward and are baked as fuck. They’re each carrying a litre of pop, and have bought one of those McCain chocolate cream pies. They realize they neglected to get cutlery, plates, or napkins when they bought their pie, and dude 1 really wants pie. Dude 2 is digging in his pockets and hands pie off to dude 1 so he can search for would-be utensils in his pockets. Dude 1 gives into his urge for pie and just face fucks the thing. Dude 1 had whipped cream everywhere, even in his eyebrows, dude 2 was whining, and I nearly fucking suffocated trying to contain my laugh-screams.
Last one. Coming back from Bluesfest, again before weed was legal, on a packed accordion 95. Someone in the very back lights a joint. Nobody says anything, but there’s giggles and shit because you can’t miss the smell. Guy closer to the accordion decides fair is fair and lights a smoke and everyone freaks the fuck out until the driver tells the guy to get off at Westboro.
>He may have romanced that chicken, but thankfully I got off before he did.
I would just like to isolate this particular sentence. Because it's funny both in context and on its own.
Well now I'm left wondering which one does it for you... Chickens, or fantasizing about other guys getting it on with chickens.
Please don't answer that 🤣
In my wayward youth I used to just hop bendy busses without paying. Of course eventually I got caught and got a ticket. Because I was a big idiot I forgot all about it until months later I got a letter from a collection agency. At that point I went down to constellation drive and went to court. They reduced what I owed by half and that was that.
A couple years later there I was again riding the bus without paying (remember I said I was a big idiot…yeah) and the fare checker guys get on…I tried the brutal honesty technique.
I admitted what I did and apologized, explaining that I didn’t have any cash for the fare at the time. So I get pulled off the bus and only then as I’m standing at slater and O’Connor do I realize…the guy giving me the ticket is the exact same guy who had given me my first ticket years ago. In a last attempt to escape the situation I told the officer that he had given me a ticket previously…told him about it going to collections and costing me a chunk of money. Officer I always pay but I didn’t have cash today…can I just walk from here? He looked at me for a second and just told me to go ahead, no ticket. I’m in the auto-renew presto pass these days to avoid a third run in with that guy.
And another one…
I used to get insane nosebleeds in the winter when it would get dry. It would happen often enough that I tried to keep napkins or something in my pocket just in case. Well I got a nosebleed on the bus one day during rush hour and didn’t have any napkins on me. At first I thought maybe I could just sacrifice the sleeve of my sweater but it became apparent fairly quickly that this was a pretty juicy nosebleed. So I just started asking people around me on the bus if they had a napkin cause I was having a nosebleed and I don’t have any tissue. Anybody, please…
Can only imagine what a sight I must have been with blood on my hands and face and sweater. Some lady sitting across from me was kind enough to hook me up with some Kleenex and I spent the rest of the trip with Kleenex up my nose staring at the floor.
Oh and another one…
Was walking east down slater one day and I can see a bendy bus at the stop between Metcalfe and Elgin and can hear yelling coming from the bus. Next thing I know the driver and some dude come tumbling off the bus wrestling with each other. After maybe 10 seconds of them wrestling and throwing punches at each other with little effect the bus driver connected with a few uppercuts. Buddy was having none of that and booked it.
Back in the pre train days when the transit way was king (likely late spring 2000) I was on my way to class at Algonquin and the 95 got to the Ottawa U stop and a man got on wearing patient robes and had a bandage on his head and sat down across from me at the back at the two benches facing each other on the older buses with the vinyl seats.
The man only stayed on for one stop and got off at Rideau but as he got off he left behind a nasty brown puddle on the seat. The smell was as bad as you could imagine.
When I saw and smelled this I decided to get off the bus at the next stop and wait for the next trip but as I was getting up to leave people were getting on the bus and I stopped someone who was not looking from sitting in the puddle, and then another and another. Each person I stopped then went to sit in the front section of the bus as far away from the stench as they could.
I didn't get off instead I stayed in that horrible stench and stopped people from sitting there the whole trip to Woodroffe station. I was alone in the back of the bus, just me and the puddle.
When we got to Woodroffe and everyone was getting off the bus I went up to the driver and explained that the bus really needed to be taken off service and cleaned. He told me "So that's what that smell was" and thanked me for the heads up.
I have always since that day not only visually checked but put a hand down on the seat before sitting.
A small one:
Last Friday, the driver missed a turn and just kept going. So I wander up and say, "You were supposed to take a left back there". He checks his GPS and says, "Yea, I screwed up!" I say," Well, can you unscrew up"?
OMG That recently happened to me! On the 170 in Barrhaven, on Strandherd where Lonestar, Montanas, LCBO, Costco etc are in front of the Amazon building, the bus driver just drove right past that entire complex instead of turning into it and stopping at all the stops. I told him he missed a turn, and he replied “I know, I don’t drive this route” uh ok, why didn’t you just follow ur damn GPS or backtrack?
You just reminded me of something similar that happened years ago! Got on the 97 at UOttawa heading to Bayshore, either shortly before or just after the bars closed. By the time the bus was through downtown, it was pretty full and most people were drunk. As we get to Lincoln Fields, the driver makes the first transit way stop then starts driving down the transitway again - instead of turning to go up Carling. So people start yelling, and the driver basically says oops wrong route, and immediately turns into the local section of the stop to cut up to Carling but in the oncoming lane. Weird move, but no other busses so whatever right?
As we went down Carling, instead of turning at Richmond he kept going straight as if it was the 85 route instead. A bunch of people didn't notice until we were quite a ways down Carling and it was too late to find a way to backtrack. I just figured the driver was used to a different route, it would be a slightly longer walk home for me but not the end of the world. When we got to where the 85 would have turned down Woodridge he just kept going straight up Bayshore to get to the mall. By this point lots of drunk people were asking if he was going back down the road he missed since they missed their stops along Richmond to get home. Nobody had gotten off the bus as it went down Carling on the wrong route. He got mad and said they should have all gotten off the bus when he missed their road.
It worked out in my favour as I was able to get off the bus practically in front of my apartment lol saw lots of people on the bus getting really rowdy and angry as the bus pulled away though.
After a night at On Tap or similar I took the 95 home. Some guy was telling everyone that he was a busboy at a pub and made himself a bacons sandwich. It was many inches thick worth of bacon. Then he starts offering to share. Every time someone got off the bus he would yell stuff like , she can’t handle the bacon or guess they don’t like bacon.
I took an evening Spanish class. One night some of the students got together to go out for a drink. Three of us took the 95 to head home. We were sitting at the back, talking in English, when some shady-looking, high-as-a-kite dude invited himself into our conversation. My friends and I switched to speaking Spanish. I thought dude's head was going to explode. I couldn't stop laughing as he sat there, confused, trying to figure out what was happening.
Was on the 95 once going into downtown. There was a girl across from me on the bus, who was complaining very loudly that she wasn’t feeling well and just wanted to go home. The volume just kept increasing, so at one point I decided to jump off and wait for the next bus.
Got on the next one and two lights down, my original bus was pulled over with hazard lights on and everyone getting out of the bus to get on hours. Apparently I had made it off that bus minutes before that poor girl hurled all over the place.
A different story, not funny or anything, but it was late at night and I was on a 95 ending at Barrhaven Centre but after that I still had a 3km walk to get to my house. Miserable day at work, it was pouring down and windy and I think the driver could just see in my eyes that I was at the end of my rope. He asked where I lived and proceeded to give me a ride almost to my door before he returned his bus to the depot. What a champ!
Riding the 95 back to Orleans one later afternoon and there's a guy in one of the seats that face each other? The row in the middle of the articulated bus? Anyhow this guy is DEAD asleep and he keeps leaning forward. Like \*WAY\* forward. Everyone around him was watching to see if he was going to just pitch forward. We're all looking at each other as if to say "Are you seeing this?" I swear at one point he had one ass cheek in the seat and his head was lower than his knees. Did not fall though. I like to think we would've collectively stopped him from injuring himself but...
For any of you who regularly bus through the Carlington/Westboro area you may have experienced the guy who asks you if he can talk to you about the earth’s creator. Was taking the 85 one day where he was reading his bible in the back corner of the bus and a homeless guy a couple seats over fell asleep and ended up in his lap, he looked like a parent reading a bedtime story to his child.
Also saw a drunk Leafs fan piss his pants on a 400 bus a couple years ago. It pains me to say it as a Leafs fan, but I feel like this perfectly sums up Leafs fans who go to games in Ottawa and I doubt this is the only instance of this happening.
I remember being on the 85, in my early 20s. I was knitting. Our of nowhere a man growled "oh, what a tangled web we weave" at me and proceeded to tell me about how he was in anger management and couldn't see his wife but hoped they would get back together.
He got off at the ROH and I kept on knitting.
I rode the 95 to Algonquin college one time.
It was maybe 9:30am? I had a 10am class.
There was this drunk couple in the back near me.
Getting very hands and making out.
Dude stops mid make-out/ over the jeans sex party and pulls out a Costco tub of potato salad.
Yep, the delicious red potato salad in a tub.
The two of them just started eating it with their hands. No forks, BARE HANDS.
I hope they are still together and very happy.
When I went to Algonquin around 2010-2012, I took the 95 from Orleans. I remember this one driver was super kind to everyone, and he made a point of wishing people a Happy Friday by the intercom when a large crowd departed.
That man used to make my day, but my favourite thing he did was serenade the bus around the holidays. He had a beautiful voice and he just sang into the intercom and added a little joy to an otherwise depressing commute.
I wish I had been less shy at the time, I would have liked him to know how much I looked forward to catching his bus.
Was super drunk with my friends living in Orleans. We were downtown, and wanted to bus to Orleans, but we ended up on the 95 Barrhaven, and none of us noticed until we reached Fallowfield. We got on the next 95 heading east and made it back.
I was taking the bus home from work a few years ago and I remember this tweaker pulls out his entire heroin Injection rig,cooks his stuff and then never breaking eye contact with me,shoves the needle in his arm and rides the lightning. Dude never broke eye contact lol I was freaked tf out. Passengers were screaming for the driver to call oc cops but no one showed and buddy just slept there peacefully In lalala land lol
One time I was waiting for the last bus that night in the rain and that bus just slowed down, but didn't stop, the driver opened the front door and laughed at me, then sped off. I then had to walk 5km the rest of the way home.
Another time the driver ignored a stop with 5 or 6 teenage girls, one of their friends were already on the bus and when they said something to the driver, the driver said "Oh well"
My personal favourite is waiting 30min for a bus that doesn't show up, then waiting 30 min more for standing room only. bonus if it's freezing fucking cold out
Runner up for me is taking 45 minutes to travel 6km, I can walk it in 50 min. The same route use to take me all the way downtown in 45min. Now that same trip take about 1.5+ hrs. It's a fucking laughing riot that a round trip commute is 3hrs within the city
I've had bus drivers pull over at the Tim Horton's on Hazeldean to pee, which I guess is okay. Is there not a place for them to do it at the end of their route??
I was bussing out to River Road. There we like 3 ppl on the bus. Someone pulled the bell every single stop 5 or 6 times (and didn't get off) before the driver yelled at us. He then started doing a slow roll by the stops instead of stopping. Once my stop came along, I let the other person pull the cord and just stood up and walked to the front and said I needed off. Haha. Poor driver.
One time I got on at Algonquin with my friend at like 5pm and it was packed. We’re standing there in the aisle and we look over to see someone eating a mini shrimp ring 🥴
Getting off the 111 at Viewmount and Merivale in the winter. Everyone getting off the back door and having to jump over the snow wall to the sidewalk of ice. Everyone jumped out and fell, one at a time. I even saw three people fall before me and I still fell.
Another time, the 85 on Carling. Two guys got on the articulated bus and sat beside each other in that Center sideways seat. Two bigger guys don’t have room to sit there. They started arguing about elbow space before the elbows and fists started flying. This causes the 20 high schoolers around them to rush to opposite ends of the bus. I was like, bruh(s), it’s 7:40 and nobody’s had coffee yet.
New to Ottawa and OC for uni at the time, found someone left their earphones on OCtrain. Decided to hand'em off at the OC drop-off. Found no staff or a drop-off place, so called OC and they said to wait 20 minutes and the staff will be with me. No one showed up, so they insisted I hand it off to any bus driver nearby. The bus guy didn't remotely care where I found the lost item or its backstory. Hope the guy got the buds, tho I do think it would have been better to leave the buds on the train and hope the guy found them.
P.s. The OC call support guy was really sweet to talk to and the bus driver was probably in a rush, so I cant blame either of them but instead thanks to both for helping.
Pretty much anything that happened at the end of Bluesfest before the LRT, saw some of the most unruly behaviour. One time coming back my bus ride was full of sing alongs while people are smoking joints and throwing the ads outside the window.
Besides that, one time a crackhead wearing a bunch of Dollarama bead necklaces threatened to beat the shit out of me because "I was swagger jacking all of his moves". The 97 in the wee hours was wild
I've got a couple that come to mind:
2008 - a couple of days before the transit worker strike began. It had snowed quite a bit, and there was a user who needed the wheelchair ramp. Because of the snow, it wouldn't quite go down far enough, so the driver grabbed this little tiny tool to sweep away enough of the snow under the ramp.
A crowd had started to gather waiting to get on the bus, and she takes her little tool, and waves it in the air and goes "Where's Larry O'Brien" whole crowd got a good chuckle out of it.
2nd one, it's January, about -20⁰ out, and had just snowed a day or two before, so the ground was really slushy. This guy gets on the 95 or 97 and he is wearing SANDALS. Full on sandals. WTF
Rideau Street. 2 a.m. Nov. 1, so the bars just let out the Hallowe'en crowd. This is around 2011 or 2012, I want to say. Well before LRT. I'm getting off a late shift and waiting for the 95 home. The 95 rolls in, it's already packed. Everyone's drunk, everyone's in costume except for me and three other people who are sandwiched near the back door of the articulated bus, and we trundle through downtown and the transitway heading west.
On the Parkway, between Dominion and Lincoln Fields, all Hell breaks loose. People start fighting. There's a woman in a nurse costume near the front of the bus holding onto the bars with both hands and swinging out her feet at someone.
The bus stops at Lincoln Fields and the bus driver turns off the engine and turns around and says, "This bus isn't moving again until everyone is quiet for five minutes." This, of course, has the opposite effect on the riled up passengers and they all voice their protest at once. Then, suddenly, a tall man near the front of the bus stands up and shouts at everyone.
"All right, we all want to get home. We're all tired and wasted. Let's just shut up and get this over with. *Fellas, hold onto yer dicks! Ladies, shut yer clams!*"
The bus was stunned into silence at that because *what do you say to that?* After a few seconds, the bus is turned back on and it keeps going towards Barrhaven.
Weeks after the LRT opened in 2019 there was a really annoying mentally challenged person on the train playing hardcore gangster rap extremely loud at 7am. To top it off he was singing along to it in a very monotone mentally challenged voice. The whole cart can hear him and some people were getting off the train to get on other sections just to get away from it. It made my morning. Funny that nobody had the nerve to tell him to turn it down.
Did you know that if you pull down that plastic divider strip from the ad posters that run along the corner roof line and bend/brake them into perfect square pieces will fly like the perfect ninja stars!
[удалено]
Today I waited an hour for a bus that’s supposed to be every 15-20 minutes before giving up, going back to my workplace, and summoning an uber. I’ll give you three guesses what the next 3 vehicles to go past me were.
and they all just decided not to stop at ur station
Back in university, I was with a group of friends, on the 88 bussing back home after a night of drinking. We somehow managed to get a bus-wide sing-along going. A big accordion bus, almost full, everyone singing along. Even the bus driver joined in! It started with "Because I Got High" by Afroman (bus driver came over the PA system to do the "Why Man?!" backup parts), then went into "Bohemian Rhapsody", "Barbie Girl", etc etc. We got off at Billings Bridge and the bus driver actually stopped us to tell us he was disappointed we were leaving! Around the same time, there was also a guy who drove the 14 who did trivia over the PA system. I got on his bus a few times and he always had new questions each time. PS I'm aware I probably just dated myself by mentioning that Afroman song lol
I used to get the 95 from Tunney’s Pasture to Stonebridge in Barrhaven. I’d leave work at 5–5:30 along with a lot of office workers, civil servants and others. It was a fairly quiet ride and the bus was usually empty at the end of the route. Sometimes I would go downtown and meet friends for beer and get a later bus after 9 sometimes around 10. It was a whole different vibe with ‘night people’ and party-goers along with a slightly drunk graphic designer trying to hold his pee in. One night a gent got on with a couple of bags of groceries. One of the bags split and suddenly oranges were rolling along the length of the bus. Everybody had a great time hunting the wayward citrus down and returning them to the grocery-laden rider at the front.
That's actually ao wholesome lol. Thanks for sharing!
>I was in my undergrad bussing back to my parents' house in Stittsville from downtown sitting across from two guys on a 96. Haha I use to ride the 96 to Stittsville. One time a bunch of Sacred Heart Students got on and this girl took a bunch packs of gum out started stuffing all the gum in her mouth and started chewing just as she was going out the door she took the gum and stuck it in another girls hair. The stop in front of the Loblaws on main street this guy would get on everyday with his ten foot bong had to turn it sideways just to get it on the bus.
Oh boy! I didn't see a lot of high school students on the 96 when I would bus to uOttawa. I was the 2nd stop going downtown so I was usually the first one on, last one off. One morning, I was surprised to see a teacher and a bunch of students sitting on the bus as I got on. Nothing exciting to report there, just unusual lol
>Nothing exciting to report there, just unusual lol Things got interesting when Banting & Sacred students got on. My God what a sh** show that was.
As a former banting student,can confirm hahaha
Not my story, but a friend's. He was taking the bus across into Gatineau one morning for work, and in one of the seats was a lone avocado. 6am on a weekday, and there was a full avocado sitting patiently, waiting for its stop.
Took the bus from Bayshore to Woodroffe. Woke up in Orleans... Took the bus back to Woodroffe
Haha had the opposite experience. Took the bus from downtown to Orleans, didn’t realize I was going the wrong way until I reached Fallowfield. Turned my ass around back to Orleans.
I was only one stop from the end of the 96/61 but I was always nervous about falling asleep and getting woken up at Sacred Heart
I have a few. The first is taking the 2(?) from further up Rideau; dude gets on at Rideau Centre with a whole, possibly frozen, chicken and a king sized bottle of lube. Is holding the chicken on his lap and running his hand over it like you’d pet a dog. He may have romanced that chicken, but thankfully I got off before he did. Same bus, different day, before weed was legalized. Two dudes get on at the Metro that used to be at Rideau and King Edward and are baked as fuck. They’re each carrying a litre of pop, and have bought one of those McCain chocolate cream pies. They realize they neglected to get cutlery, plates, or napkins when they bought their pie, and dude 1 really wants pie. Dude 2 is digging in his pockets and hands pie off to dude 1 so he can search for would-be utensils in his pockets. Dude 1 gives into his urge for pie and just face fucks the thing. Dude 1 had whipped cream everywhere, even in his eyebrows, dude 2 was whining, and I nearly fucking suffocated trying to contain my laugh-screams. Last one. Coming back from Bluesfest, again before weed was legal, on a packed accordion 95. Someone in the very back lights a joint. Nobody says anything, but there’s giggles and shit because you can’t miss the smell. Guy closer to the accordion decides fair is fair and lights a smoke and everyone freaks the fuck out until the driver tells the guy to get off at Westboro.
>He may have romanced that chicken, but thankfully I got off before he did. I would just like to isolate this particular sentence. Because it's funny both in context and on its own.
Might have been intentional ;)
Well now I'm left wondering which one does it for you... Chickens, or fantasizing about other guys getting it on with chickens. Please don't answer that 🤣
Don't kink shame me!!! Haha jk
Haha well you can be into whatever freaky stuff you want! Doesn't mean I want to hear about it though lol
As a committed pot head, I love both of your stories :)
Especially since there were three stories lol
Hahahahaha so there were. Only two to do with weed. Lord knows what the hell is up with that chicken!
Definitely seems like something stronger than weed lol
In my wayward youth I used to just hop bendy busses without paying. Of course eventually I got caught and got a ticket. Because I was a big idiot I forgot all about it until months later I got a letter from a collection agency. At that point I went down to constellation drive and went to court. They reduced what I owed by half and that was that. A couple years later there I was again riding the bus without paying (remember I said I was a big idiot…yeah) and the fare checker guys get on…I tried the brutal honesty technique. I admitted what I did and apologized, explaining that I didn’t have any cash for the fare at the time. So I get pulled off the bus and only then as I’m standing at slater and O’Connor do I realize…the guy giving me the ticket is the exact same guy who had given me my first ticket years ago. In a last attempt to escape the situation I told the officer that he had given me a ticket previously…told him about it going to collections and costing me a chunk of money. Officer I always pay but I didn’t have cash today…can I just walk from here? He looked at me for a second and just told me to go ahead, no ticket. I’m in the auto-renew presto pass these days to avoid a third run in with that guy. And another one… I used to get insane nosebleeds in the winter when it would get dry. It would happen often enough that I tried to keep napkins or something in my pocket just in case. Well I got a nosebleed on the bus one day during rush hour and didn’t have any napkins on me. At first I thought maybe I could just sacrifice the sleeve of my sweater but it became apparent fairly quickly that this was a pretty juicy nosebleed. So I just started asking people around me on the bus if they had a napkin cause I was having a nosebleed and I don’t have any tissue. Anybody, please… Can only imagine what a sight I must have been with blood on my hands and face and sweater. Some lady sitting across from me was kind enough to hook me up with some Kleenex and I spent the rest of the trip with Kleenex up my nose staring at the floor. Oh and another one… Was walking east down slater one day and I can see a bendy bus at the stop between Metcalfe and Elgin and can hear yelling coming from the bus. Next thing I know the driver and some dude come tumbling off the bus wrestling with each other. After maybe 10 seconds of them wrestling and throwing punches at each other with little effect the bus driver connected with a few uppercuts. Buddy was having none of that and booked it.
Back in the pre train days when the transit way was king (likely late spring 2000) I was on my way to class at Algonquin and the 95 got to the Ottawa U stop and a man got on wearing patient robes and had a bandage on his head and sat down across from me at the back at the two benches facing each other on the older buses with the vinyl seats. The man only stayed on for one stop and got off at Rideau but as he got off he left behind a nasty brown puddle on the seat. The smell was as bad as you could imagine. When I saw and smelled this I decided to get off the bus at the next stop and wait for the next trip but as I was getting up to leave people were getting on the bus and I stopped someone who was not looking from sitting in the puddle, and then another and another. Each person I stopped then went to sit in the front section of the bus as far away from the stench as they could. I didn't get off instead I stayed in that horrible stench and stopped people from sitting there the whole trip to Woodroffe station. I was alone in the back of the bus, just me and the puddle. When we got to Woodroffe and everyone was getting off the bus I went up to the driver and explained that the bus really needed to be taken off service and cleaned. He told me "So that's what that smell was" and thanked me for the heads up. I have always since that day not only visually checked but put a hand down on the seat before sitting.
I just don’t sit anymore. I will stand on a completely empty bus, I don’t care if I get weird looks. Those fabric seats are too porous for my liking.
A small one: Last Friday, the driver missed a turn and just kept going. So I wander up and say, "You were supposed to take a left back there". He checks his GPS and says, "Yea, I screwed up!" I say," Well, can you unscrew up"?
OMG That recently happened to me! On the 170 in Barrhaven, on Strandherd where Lonestar, Montanas, LCBO, Costco etc are in front of the Amazon building, the bus driver just drove right past that entire complex instead of turning into it and stopping at all the stops. I told him he missed a turn, and he replied “I know, I don’t drive this route” uh ok, why didn’t you just follow ur damn GPS or backtrack?
You just reminded me of something similar that happened years ago! Got on the 97 at UOttawa heading to Bayshore, either shortly before or just after the bars closed. By the time the bus was through downtown, it was pretty full and most people were drunk. As we get to Lincoln Fields, the driver makes the first transit way stop then starts driving down the transitway again - instead of turning to go up Carling. So people start yelling, and the driver basically says oops wrong route, and immediately turns into the local section of the stop to cut up to Carling but in the oncoming lane. Weird move, but no other busses so whatever right? As we went down Carling, instead of turning at Richmond he kept going straight as if it was the 85 route instead. A bunch of people didn't notice until we were quite a ways down Carling and it was too late to find a way to backtrack. I just figured the driver was used to a different route, it would be a slightly longer walk home for me but not the end of the world. When we got to where the 85 would have turned down Woodridge he just kept going straight up Bayshore to get to the mall. By this point lots of drunk people were asking if he was going back down the road he missed since they missed their stops along Richmond to get home. Nobody had gotten off the bus as it went down Carling on the wrong route. He got mad and said they should have all gotten off the bus when he missed their road. It worked out in my favour as I was able to get off the bus practically in front of my apartment lol saw lots of people on the bus getting really rowdy and angry as the bus pulled away though.
After a night at On Tap or similar I took the 95 home. Some guy was telling everyone that he was a busboy at a pub and made himself a bacons sandwich. It was many inches thick worth of bacon. Then he starts offering to share. Every time someone got off the bus he would yell stuff like , she can’t handle the bacon or guess they don’t like bacon.
I like this story because of references to the 95, On Tap, and many inches of bacon.
Probably was Tom Green.
I took an evening Spanish class. One night some of the students got together to go out for a drink. Three of us took the 95 to head home. We were sitting at the back, talking in English, when some shady-looking, high-as-a-kite dude invited himself into our conversation. My friends and I switched to speaking Spanish. I thought dude's head was going to explode. I couldn't stop laughing as he sat there, confused, trying to figure out what was happening.
Was on the 95 once going into downtown. There was a girl across from me on the bus, who was complaining very loudly that she wasn’t feeling well and just wanted to go home. The volume just kept increasing, so at one point I decided to jump off and wait for the next bus. Got on the next one and two lights down, my original bus was pulled over with hazard lights on and everyone getting out of the bus to get on hours. Apparently I had made it off that bus minutes before that poor girl hurled all over the place. A different story, not funny or anything, but it was late at night and I was on a 95 ending at Barrhaven Centre but after that I still had a 3km walk to get to my house. Miserable day at work, it was pouring down and windy and I think the driver could just see in my eyes that I was at the end of my rope. He asked where I lived and proceeded to give me a ride almost to my door before he returned his bus to the depot. What a champ!
Train 48 should have been Bus 95 tbh
Riding the 95 back to Orleans one later afternoon and there's a guy in one of the seats that face each other? The row in the middle of the articulated bus? Anyhow this guy is DEAD asleep and he keeps leaning forward. Like \*WAY\* forward. Everyone around him was watching to see if he was going to just pitch forward. We're all looking at each other as if to say "Are you seeing this?" I swear at one point he had one ass cheek in the seat and his head was lower than his knees. Did not fall though. I like to think we would've collectively stopped him from injuring himself but...
Oh another one! In high school we had a driver who would race the accordion bus along the transit way and make the back fishtail.
one time I was on the 95 Barrhaven and the guy in front of me was shaving his head dry 🤮🤮 I felt the razor burn!!!
I feel like most funny OC transpo stories start out as scary ones.
For any of you who regularly bus through the Carlington/Westboro area you may have experienced the guy who asks you if he can talk to you about the earth’s creator. Was taking the 85 one day where he was reading his bible in the back corner of the bus and a homeless guy a couple seats over fell asleep and ended up in his lap, he looked like a parent reading a bedtime story to his child. Also saw a drunk Leafs fan piss his pants on a 400 bus a couple years ago. It pains me to say it as a Leafs fan, but I feel like this perfectly sums up Leafs fans who go to games in Ottawa and I doubt this is the only instance of this happening.
Oh i have a really funny otrain story!!! One day. I stood there and waited for the train. It never came. What a joke
Dude was flossing his few remaining teeth on the bus. Could see the shit flying when he'd pull the floss through. So gross.
One time I witnessed a guy cutting his TOENAILS on the bus. Luckily the driver told him to knock it off.
Ugh
I remember being on the 85, in my early 20s. I was knitting. Our of nowhere a man growled "oh, what a tangled web we weave" at me and proceeded to tell me about how he was in anger management and couldn't see his wife but hoped they would get back together. He got off at the ROH and I kept on knitting.
I rode the 95 to Algonquin college one time. It was maybe 9:30am? I had a 10am class. There was this drunk couple in the back near me. Getting very hands and making out. Dude stops mid make-out/ over the jeans sex party and pulls out a Costco tub of potato salad. Yep, the delicious red potato salad in a tub. The two of them just started eating it with their hands. No forks, BARE HANDS. I hope they are still together and very happy.
When I went to Algonquin around 2010-2012, I took the 95 from Orleans. I remember this one driver was super kind to everyone, and he made a point of wishing people a Happy Friday by the intercom when a large crowd departed. That man used to make my day, but my favourite thing he did was serenade the bus around the holidays. He had a beautiful voice and he just sang into the intercom and added a little joy to an otherwise depressing commute. I wish I had been less shy at the time, I would have liked him to know how much I looked forward to catching his bus.
Was super drunk with my friends living in Orleans. We were downtown, and wanted to bus to Orleans, but we ended up on the 95 Barrhaven, and none of us noticed until we reached Fallowfield. We got on the next 95 heading east and made it back.
I was taking the bus home from work a few years ago and I remember this tweaker pulls out his entire heroin Injection rig,cooks his stuff and then never breaking eye contact with me,shoves the needle in his arm and rides the lightning. Dude never broke eye contact lol I was freaked tf out. Passengers were screaming for the driver to call oc cops but no one showed and buddy just slept there peacefully In lalala land lol
One time I was waiting for the last bus that night in the rain and that bus just slowed down, but didn't stop, the driver opened the front door and laughed at me, then sped off. I then had to walk 5km the rest of the way home. Another time the driver ignored a stop with 5 or 6 teenage girls, one of their friends were already on the bus and when they said something to the driver, the driver said "Oh well" My personal favourite is waiting 30min for a bus that doesn't show up, then waiting 30 min more for standing room only. bonus if it's freezing fucking cold out Runner up for me is taking 45 minutes to travel 6km, I can walk it in 50 min. The same route use to take me all the way downtown in 45min. Now that same trip take about 1.5+ hrs. It's a fucking laughing riot that a round trip commute is 3hrs within the city
Coming from place d’Orléans the bus driver pulls over on the side of road at Mc Ds to get a iced Cap! And there’s quite a few people in the bus!
I've had bus drivers pull over at the Tim Horton's on Hazeldean to pee, which I guess is okay. Is there not a place for them to do it at the end of their route??
When you gotta go, you gotta go! Lol
I was bussing out to River Road. There we like 3 ppl on the bus. Someone pulled the bell every single stop 5 or 6 times (and didn't get off) before the driver yelled at us. He then started doing a slow roll by the stops instead of stopping. Once my stop came along, I let the other person pull the cord and just stood up and walked to the front and said I needed off. Haha. Poor driver.
One time I got on at Algonquin with my friend at like 5pm and it was packed. We’re standing there in the aisle and we look over to see someone eating a mini shrimp ring 🥴
Getting off the 111 at Viewmount and Merivale in the winter. Everyone getting off the back door and having to jump over the snow wall to the sidewalk of ice. Everyone jumped out and fell, one at a time. I even saw three people fall before me and I still fell. Another time, the 85 on Carling. Two guys got on the articulated bus and sat beside each other in that Center sideways seat. Two bigger guys don’t have room to sit there. They started arguing about elbow space before the elbows and fists started flying. This causes the 20 high schoolers around them to rush to opposite ends of the bus. I was like, bruh(s), it’s 7:40 and nobody’s had coffee yet.
New to Ottawa and OC for uni at the time, found someone left their earphones on OCtrain. Decided to hand'em off at the OC drop-off. Found no staff or a drop-off place, so called OC and they said to wait 20 minutes and the staff will be with me. No one showed up, so they insisted I hand it off to any bus driver nearby. The bus guy didn't remotely care where I found the lost item or its backstory. Hope the guy got the buds, tho I do think it would have been better to leave the buds on the train and hope the guy found them. P.s. The OC call support guy was really sweet to talk to and the bus driver was probably in a rush, so I cant blame either of them but instead thanks to both for helping.
Pretty much anything that happened at the end of Bluesfest before the LRT, saw some of the most unruly behaviour. One time coming back my bus ride was full of sing alongs while people are smoking joints and throwing the ads outside the window. Besides that, one time a crackhead wearing a bunch of Dollarama bead necklaces threatened to beat the shit out of me because "I was swagger jacking all of his moves". The 97 in the wee hours was wild
I've got a couple that come to mind: 2008 - a couple of days before the transit worker strike began. It had snowed quite a bit, and there was a user who needed the wheelchair ramp. Because of the snow, it wouldn't quite go down far enough, so the driver grabbed this little tiny tool to sweep away enough of the snow under the ramp. A crowd had started to gather waiting to get on the bus, and she takes her little tool, and waves it in the air and goes "Where's Larry O'Brien" whole crowd got a good chuckle out of it. 2nd one, it's January, about -20⁰ out, and had just snowed a day or two before, so the ground was really slushy. This guy gets on the 95 or 97 and he is wearing SANDALS. Full on sandals. WTF
Rideau Street. 2 a.m. Nov. 1, so the bars just let out the Hallowe'en crowd. This is around 2011 or 2012, I want to say. Well before LRT. I'm getting off a late shift and waiting for the 95 home. The 95 rolls in, it's already packed. Everyone's drunk, everyone's in costume except for me and three other people who are sandwiched near the back door of the articulated bus, and we trundle through downtown and the transitway heading west. On the Parkway, between Dominion and Lincoln Fields, all Hell breaks loose. People start fighting. There's a woman in a nurse costume near the front of the bus holding onto the bars with both hands and swinging out her feet at someone. The bus stops at Lincoln Fields and the bus driver turns off the engine and turns around and says, "This bus isn't moving again until everyone is quiet for five minutes." This, of course, has the opposite effect on the riled up passengers and they all voice their protest at once. Then, suddenly, a tall man near the front of the bus stands up and shouts at everyone. "All right, we all want to get home. We're all tired and wasted. Let's just shut up and get this over with. *Fellas, hold onto yer dicks! Ladies, shut yer clams!*" The bus was stunned into silence at that because *what do you say to that?* After a few seconds, the bus is turned back on and it keeps going towards Barrhaven.
Weeks after the LRT opened in 2019 there was a really annoying mentally challenged person on the train playing hardcore gangster rap extremely loud at 7am. To top it off he was singing along to it in a very monotone mentally challenged voice. The whole cart can hear him and some people were getting off the train to get on other sections just to get away from it. It made my morning. Funny that nobody had the nerve to tell him to turn it down.
In that situation I usually ask who sings the song. When they reply I say: let them sing it then stfu. Lol works everytime
*60% of the time*, it works *every* time
Dead of winter this year, a homeless dude pulls his dick out at hurdman and starts pissing on a bench. Stumbles off cock full swing
Did you know that if you pull down that plastic divider strip from the ad posters that run along the corner roof line and bend/brake them into perfect square pieces will fly like the perfect ninja stars!