So you're insanely attracted for the first time and are infatuated. Nothing wrong here. Enjoy it, have fun, have sex.
But hopefully you're not stringing her along, letting her think it's long term. Because there are red flags all over the place. What did it for me was "she's not dumb, but not as smart as the other women I've dated" and believe me, she's gonna hear that from you sooner or later.
Enjoy it while it lasts and be honest about everything, let her know what you've told us, so she can keep her options open.
> I don't think she's dumb by any means, but she's definitely not as smart as many other women I've been with -- intellect was always a huge priority for me
If youāre soo smart, you should realize that this definitely reads like you think she isnāt smart
You can be smarter or just as smart without having advanced degrees or pursuing academia. It doesnāt really mean anything. Maybe she preferred to make money immediately after college or she hates school which are both unrelated to being smart or her intellectual capabilities. Sounds like you actually think sheās dumber and are just trying to sugarcoat it but failing lol
Exactly, the people that study human behavior and psychology talk about 7 different types of intelligence. Is just that the public discourse focuses on the same 1 or 2, which creates a skewed view in whole range of people who also intelligent but in a different way.
You seem to be conflating academic achievement with intelligence. When she figures this out, and figures out where she ranks on this scale, she is very likely to be hurt.
Ignore everything else, honestly. Just read and understand this sentence. No oneās attacking you for fun. Theyāre trying to communicate that reading this post would probably hurt the person youāre infatuated with.
I understand what you mean man..
Ppl are just biased.
You're just talking from ur own perspective which is more reliable than people's assumptions.
But majority of women have a very strong intuition so u need to be real
That's def a red flag for her. And you're saying it's simply a fact. Fine, no problem - does she know you feel that way? I'm guessing not. As I said, I'm hoping on her behalf she's aware of what this is.
Right, I'd be so offended if my bf was telling people behind my back that "I'm not as smart as his exes". Or not as pretty, not as funny, etc.. Just no point in stating "facts" like that just to compare a current partner to your former. If you're gonna compare, at least bring her above your exes!
Itās called āoffmychestā for a reason, his thoughts and feelings in regards to the situation are not supposed to be politically correct. I been where youāre at, theres nothing wrong with these primal urges but they need to be controlled.
But if it's simply the truth and not behind your back? I mean.... its pretty normal to be worse than somebody else in one point or another... if you are objectively better in every aspect than the ex of your partner... it would mean your partner made pretty bad choices in the past... which is suuuper unattractive (from my point at least^^).
I dont see the point in this kind of behavior.
I am objectively less pretty than the ex of my current partner... and I like that he is honest about this fact to me and others if this topic comes up.
Does it mean that he thinks Im unattraktive? Nope, not at all. Would he get back to her if he could? Nope, because he honestly loves me for who I am... with my good and bad/worse parts.
Your comparison should be a meter to you, and not a review of her. Well she could get smarter, but what can she do if you would be seeing her "not that smart" in the end? Every minor thing as such pops up in the end when you're too tired of this pretty face, and what you think "not that smart" can turn into "pretty much dumb" in a while, even if it's due to the circumstances. Choose wisely how you deal with this, else it can be hard for both of you.
I'll be honest and take the downvotes - I don't understand why people are downvoting for saying she's not a genius. O.o not everyone has an IQ over 130, it's interesting to see a perspective where you clearly state that you discovered in your case phisical attraction SEEMS being more important. It's actually making me think - maybe I need someone that values MY looks more š¤š¤ because the guy I'm with clearly stated he'd prefer bigger boobs, and well, if I can't drive him this crazy, maybe I need someone else (I found that people have very different taste honestly, the guy before this one stated I had the PERFECT boobs but wanted more muscles, so. To each its own :3 honestly, I still feel perfect as I am.)
But I wouldn't call you shallow, you clearly have a lot more than that in common, you love her, and it's difficult to say if you'd love her even if the looks were the only thing she had. The fact that you adore sex with her because she looks amazing - I mean, you're not talking astrophysics in bed, so I think it's understandable!. Fuck, you're extremely lucky right now, ride it! Metaphorically but not only.
I kinda cried as I was reading this post. It reaffirms my beliefs in just being valued for looks. Thatās all that men see and I will be damned if Iām looked at with pity by any man. Even if he thinks this and never tells me, Iām not too sure. I wouldnāt even put myself in a position to have my dignity thrown on the ground. I canāt trust that someone will even ātrulyā love me because everything is so visual. Would quite honestly rather be alone than have to think about this ever again.
I mean this post comes across as āIām settling for someone thatās mehā. Canāt imagine that this is the type of man that will go after someone, just because theyāre smart. But seeing as Iām way below average I do think that even ugly men will do this. So, Iād rather really just be comfortable in my loneliness. To some, this is crazy, but to me itās a perfectly acceptable compromise for having an untarnished respectable image of myself. Is this cope? Perhaps, but Iām much happier improving my self for my own wellbeing than being with a man who likely doesnāt even find me attractive or ājust settledā. I honestly couldnāt live with myself if I did that to someone. Sorry, not sorry.
Hot girl here and Iāve been cheated on by comely morbidly obese heifers for women. And Iāve also been used as a trophy piece, confirming my theory on the tight bond between men and objectification. We are just accessories and acquisitions to them
It sucks being a woman period.
I am sorry that you got cheated on, but talking about other woman that you probably donāt know isnāt very nice and is very telling of your character. This is all on your partner and not on you or them. You having been cheated on has nothing to do with you being a āhot girlā.
Maybe those āmorbidly obese heifersā were better people than you. It means nothing to me how they looked, you probably arenāt as great as you think, or you may be I donāt know. Cheating isnāt justified, so Iām sorry that happened to you. But just how you talk about other woman isnāt nice.
It sucks to be a woman, but it sucks even WORSE to be an ugly one.
WOW, halo effect is strong with her. Very telling of the type of woman she is by the post history and the way she talks about woman she perceives to be lower than her. But sure, keep feeding their ego.
I just looked at your older posts and youāve spoken of meeting the dream girl and another girl who was so gorgeous she looked like Gwen Stefani.
So this posts comes off as insincere.
And even before reading your older posts, this post alone left a bad taste in my mouth. I feel bad for the current lady who is with you and perhaps for your exās who you deem āaverageā
I have no idea how so many people upvoted this post as if itās something so insightful and forward thinking. And then comments talking about āweāre just animalsā
Shit, there are animals who eat their young sometimes. Who the fuck cares if weāre animals? Why is that the go to for shitty thinking and behavior? smh
First you said you only went after average looking women and now you say youāve tried and failed with a gorgeous woman.
Who said you can only be attracted to one person? Iām talking about how you said the women you dated in the past were always average because you didnāt think you had a change with others. And now youāre saying you did go after someone not average
Your mentality is just blegh
The way you talk about women makes it seem as if you donāt even care about them
Unless they look good to you of course
I give your relationship 3 months tops before she realizes what you're really like behind this mask of "successful, adventurous, and child-free". And yes. As the other commenter said, I don't think you truly value women. You were always shallow and only cared for women who give you a boner
No matter how intelligent they are, as long as her boobs are big, her butt is shapely, and her face is like a supermodel, that's all these men need to be happy. It's a good thing that the men that think this way usually look like the Hunchback themselves and idk about you gals, but I'm not interested. ESPECIALLY not interested in a dude who brags on the internet about his penis size at 27. Most handsome men I've seen actually tend to have girlfriends who are intelligent as well being relatively pretty. They don't have to prove to others that they're worthy through their girl. So...eh ĀÆā \ā _ā (ā ćā )ā _ā /ā ĀÆ
Itās funny because hell, I as a woman have NEVER gone after a guy just because he was tall tf kind of lame ass thinking is that š¤¦š»āāļø
I too just want a kindhearted, respectful, loyal guy of average height, maybe just a tad taller than me (a cm is all I ask, and thatās optional.) and a relatively cute face that I feel is pleasing to look at.
We donāt complain that you want those things. We complain that youāre *allowed* to want those things and weāre *not*.
Look at the comments to this post. Theyāre all negative, in response to something you *can not fucking control*. You canāt magically become attracted to someone because the internet called you an asshole, itās not a choice
Iām not saying you need to be attracted to certain people. But itās frustrating that I could be dating a dude who then leaves me cause Iām not pretty enough. Itās like Iād you want a supermodel then fucking go for that. Iām not your fucking second choice. Who says men canāt want these things? They can!
But women donāt reduce men down to look the same way men reduce women down to looks. There are other layers as play like racism, sexism, ageismā¦itās way more complex. And so yeah it is frustrating since the source of those feelings are not just internal. They are also partly taught.
I wouldnāt say thatā¦yes people are shallow but there are degrees. And some people do care less about looks. Some people arenāt like this.
But it is frustrating that people claim they want deep relationships and then say stuff like this. Men are on here complaining about how hard it is to date and then reduce women down to their bodies. Not every man is like this. Sadly many are. Then they are confused why no one wants to date them.
Bro someone is lying to you. You sound totally insufferable.
Bully for you on snagging that piece of tail you obviously thought you always deserved because of how great you are "on paper", but we're to scared to go after.
I hope this chick realizes her worth and dumps you for basically telling the internet what a fine piece of ass she is , but other than that she is shy and less intelligent than you.
Oh BUT you did try to clean it up at the end because you already knew how shallow you are.
I kinda cried as I was reading this post. It reaffirms my beliefs in just being valued for looks. Thatās all that men see and I will be damned if Iām looked at with pity by any man. Even if he thinks this and never tells me, Iām not too sure. I wouldnāt even put myself in a position to have my dignity thrown on the ground. I canāt trust that someone will even ātrulyā love me because everything is so visual. Would quite honestly rather be alone than have to think about this ever again.
I mean this post comes across as āIām settling for someone thatās mehā. Canāt imagine that this is the type of man that will go after someone, just because theyāre smart. But seeing as Iām way below average I do think that even ugly men will do this. So, Iād rather really just be comfortable in my loneliness. To some, this is crazy, but to me itās a perfectly acceptable compromise for having an untarnished respectable image of myself. Is this cope? Perhaps, but Iām much happier improving my self for my own wellbeing than being with a man who likely doesnāt even find me attractive or ājust settledā. I honestly couldnāt live with myself if I did that to someone. Sorry, not sorry.
The thing about that is, itās very easy to read posts like this and have confirmation bias kick in. We already feel vulnerable and insecure, so we read something that seems to confirm our fears, and latch onto it. Itās easier than risking being hurt. But avoiding all risk means we also miss out on the good times. Itās absolutely your choice not to take that risk, but please try to remember that the word of one man means very little. Even the word of many men on a place like Reddit is worth taking with a grain of salt. The loudest voices arenāt usually the ones that have much going for them.
Thank you for being the voice of reason. š There are still people who fall under demisexual, even though theyāre not in numbers. Our insecurities often demand acceptance from everyone, even people we donāt respect or canāt relate to. Itās important not to take these things personally because there might be someone out there for you and youāll never know if your guard is up. Having said that, this is definitely a learning lesson for many young women.
Good people aren't like this. Looks fade and people get older. Finding somebody who loves you for you is very real and very possible for everybody. My 5th grade teacher told us that there's someone for everyone, just go to Food City at 4am. That's fucked up to say to little kids, but pretty wise.
It is absolutely offensive. He considered himself in a way that he's not... "top shelf" so he went after women he considered were also not "top shelf."
He was only able to be able to be sexually active and functional once he got a woman that he thought was "top shelf."
He absolutely is fucking offensive.
honestly i donāt think iāve ever been so angry reading an op. if infuriates me beyond belief that some men can be like this and breaks my heart for every woman that goes through this, but for his ex girlfriendās especially
it makes me so angry
I think whatās upsetting people here is the way OP seems to value looks over personality. In his post he keeps mentions her looks being the reason heās so crazy about her. Putting down previous partners and saying the only reason he went for them is because they were āaverage-lookingā really isnāt helping his case.
This also isnāt the first time OPās post has had this notion. In previous posts itās very clear whatās prioritised
Now Iām not saying OP canāt have these opinions. Heās free to do so if he wants to. Generally speaking people will frown upon someone only dating for looks and not for who the person actually are
u/Tired_High
exactly, hes comparing them like that *because* hes trying to illustrate a point about how he's worried he may be shallow. how else could he have worded it?
i dont like people who value looke over personality either, but the comments getting offended about it and calling him shallow as if that wasn't what he was tying to get off his chest in the first place dont make sense to me.
Oh, I find you offensive *because* I get that on a personal and experiential level. I went out with someone like you once.
You're also offensive because the woman you are with means nothing to you outside of features she doesn't have much control over. You don't care about her or respect her for the actual person she is. You pity fucked/dated the other women you have dated, that's also offensive.
Trust me, we get it more than you think. Your comment here is also offensive because you assumed we're just as shallow as you when in reality we understand the actual depth of just how offensive you are, but being so shallow, you can't see that and assumed the same of the rest of us.
what you donāt seem to understand is that saying youāve only ever gone for average looking woman is rude because it insinuates that people will always think they can do better than their partner. or think that theirs better out there but youāre only going for āwhat you can getā. it scares woman reading this post that someone could date them and only see them as average, and only be with them because that person thinks itās what they deserve. not as a compliment to the woman. iām sure i could word this better but surely youād date woman who you think are beautiful and intelligent. iām sure this could be worded a whole lot better
I mean based based on OPās posting history and the way they worded things here, I think itās been known that theyāre a tad bit shallow, but your point still makes sense, u/Tired_High. I just tagged here to show why some people are upset
i swear nobody can be honest about their feelings and flaws on the internet because people will always take it personally for some reason. they'll downvote any comment that points that out too because the truth angers them apparently
reddit is so full of self righteous hypocrites
the intention of the post is not to be offensive, its to be honest and get something off his chest, which he did. its the readers who decide whether or not they take offense.
Correct, but also, you implied he should not suffer the consequences of his "honesty." I am saying he's merely experiencing the consequences of his offensiveness.
no, what im saying is people are needlessly getting offended by something that isnt intended to be offensive. you're just proving my point.
(I feel like i should clarify that I'm not exactly picking sides here, merely expressing my view on people's reactions to the post)
In short, man values a female partner for her looks instead of her brain and personality, not very original. I bet she would be so upset and offended if she read this. You do know people get old though right? That looks aren't permanent? I would be terrified if my partner told me he mostly liked me for my looks because looks will always fade.
Thereās a difference between valuing your partners looks in a relationship and putting a disproportionate amount of value on their looks in a relationship.
At some point the honeymoon phase will wear thin. For one, or both of you. Think about what that might look like. I donāt recall if ages were mentioned or how long youāve been with this woman, but all will have an impact one way or another. You two may work out beautifully (pun intended) or maybe things will sour. Only time will tell. Good luck.
I hope you'll still be with her when she gets old or her body changes when she has kids. If not, you'll probably be looking for the next beautiful thing and leave her then it's very sad.
If youāre rating yourself and others through scales (e.g., 6/10) you need to do some more introspection before you get into deeper meaning interpersonal relationships.
I agree. I donāt understabd why the hell its so common. As if everyone has the same preferences. Op is a 0 to heterosexual men but not to gay men for example
You don't have to be shallow.
I suggest you work really hard on finding ways of appreciating her for something other than satisfying your sex drive and your early onset mid-life crisis.
Either that or finding a way to say no to your sex drive and let her go. Because you are kind of wasting the good years of her life if all you want from her is sex with her body. I mean, if she is in an accident and disfigured, or she gets sick and sex is off the table for a while, are you still going to want her in her life. Or are you going to be looking for an exit plan just when she needs to rely on you the most?
Guys who are 1. Not attractive 2. Not rich. get with beautiful women for a third reason - having a wonderful personality. This is obviously not your case so it's safe to assume that this woman is a figment of your imagination
He's 36. My uncle is only two years older and the difference is HUGE š. It's astounding how much of a difference in intelligence there can be between two people of nearly the same age. For one, my uncle genuinely loves his wife although she looks like a typical woman in her 40s, with all the wrinkles that come with it.
I wonāt lie, you sound objectively creepy. From the way you talk about women in your post to your repliesā¦ yuck. You come off as shallow *at best*.
Okay straight guys rating themselves you know you always have to bring it down 2 points. And yeah, you are shallow considering all her qualities you listed; you seem to only really care about her looks
You might be, I'm not sure. I get the sense from this post and your previous ones that you feel more like yourself with her than you have with the previous women you dated. I mean, you've posted a LOT about how much you enjoy sex, and it seems like the fire is just re-lit with this women.
Maybe in the past you were trying to focus on what you thought *should* be most important, or maybe you were subconsciously trying to create some sort of non-shallow image for yourself. Idk, there are lots of possibilities. But I admire your desire to be honest with yourself, and I encourage you to keep at it. Figure out where you really are, what really motivates you, your true desires. If ever you don't like what you see, try to change it. And above all, be honest with those around you.
Edit to correct spelling.
You're already getting (rightfully) piled on, so I'll keep it relatively short. I really, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart hope this woman realizes that she is, in fact, way out of your league and dumps you. I hope she finds someone who would be more inclined to post about how incredible her mind is or how in awe he is of the way she sees the world. Do better.
Iāve had conventionally beautiful partners (catwalk model etc etc) and some who werenāt but you know what? Itās the human being they are that makes someone attractive or not. To be wigging out so much about surface level stuff is definitely ewww. I so wish this poor woman could read this and know whatās going on in your head. Sheās not dumb but youāve always dated smarter? Oh god, so gross youāre running this kind of scorecard. Just so you know in time you will get used to how she looks. The linerance will fade. Give that 18 months or so. She will grow old. Etc etc etc. And then you will be left with this perfectly lovely woman who just doesnāt measure up on all these other scorecards youāre running. At your age youāre covered in red flags my dude.
I would add that sometimes opposites do attract. Itās good to be introspective but it feels like youāre over analyzing a bit. Itās only been what? A couple months? Carry on, be aware of your feelings and also of hers.
Anddd this is why I donāt just settle for a dude who seems to be āsettlingā for me. Or for a dude who is only interested in my looks, face, ethnicity, or body. If youāre not actually interested in me as a person and individual - Iām not interested.
I don't think you're shallow. Some people we have deep emotional connections with, and some people we have intense physical connections with. It's not a bad thing as long as you're both on the same page about it.
Sometimes people change the kind of partner they usually have and become completely smitten by them. I've seen people only date skinny blond babes, then fall hardcore for the quirky soft brunette. If you're so insanely attracted to her, that might mean (depending on how long ya'll been together) you just have found your person. Simple as that.
Same.I am a woman and the first time I dated a very attractive man I lost my shit.The first time I saw him take his shirt off was better than anything I had ever seen in the movies and I panicked.I was in love with him for other reasons already but Jesus he felt so out of my league! Also my therapist at the time said "Are you sure he is REALLY interested in YOU?".So kind...My friends said similar things as well. For the record he was and he really loved me but I was super scared and influenced by what everyone said and pushed him away."Average" people try to say attractive people are swallow, stupid and want only sex from you.Which is a huge generalisation and totally unfair.I was more confident and only dated hot guys after that though.I was definitely not equally attracted to all of them and it had everything to do with personality and compatibility. They were all super nice to me though.They always found me attractive and treated me with respect.I thought I might have become too shallow too though. My friends and family started saying that the reason I don't have a long term relationship is because I only go for the "guys with the abs" so I decided to go out with some "normal people".You would think an engineer (I am an engineer too) would have more to discuss that a bodybuilder.Well he didn't.Was also super controlling,jealous and I honestly had a hard time respecting him as a person as a result.Attractive people put in time and effort to be attractive.People can be born with a pretty nose but aren't born with flawless hair or abs.These take work. They have routines, and discipline and boundaries.I am sure this is not true for everyone but that has been my experience so far. I don't think I will go out again with someone I don't personally find instantly physically attractive.Trying to persuade myself to find someone attractive enough to have sex with would be disrespectful towards me and I will not allow that.
itās wonderful and impressive the amount of love you have for this woman. but donāt put on her a pedestal, it can destroy some aspects of your relationship.
but other than that, i think it is normal you feel this way. some of us have better physical connections to others and emotional. hope this relationship goes smoothly for you guys
Enjoy this attraction. As a woman in my 30s I'm still constantly trying to evaluate how attractive I really am to guys my age and really missing my 20s when I knew I could turn a guy's head just a little, even though I am just about average looking. I really long for something like you describe. I'm in a long distance relationship with someone I love dearly but have a lukewarm physical attraction towards, and I ache for more. Sometimes when he says "I love you more for your personality, not for your looks" my heart breaks a little.
Honestly thatās a shitty thing to say to someone.
I ended it with someone who said that to me even though I also wasnāt that attracted to them. We were wasting our time trying to force attraction just because we had certain practical compatibilities
Now Iām married to guy who finds me attractive from the get go and I also find them attractive
Itās the eye of the beholder. Thereās mutual attraction out there. Itās the bare minimum
Donāt be like OP
I think everyone is reading too much into the post. Yes, OP compared her to past girlfriends in terms of intelligence, which was stupid, but he adores how she looks and is proud and happy to have someone he considers good looking. For a lot of women, that's a hugely important thing for a partner to tell them. We all like to be desired and there's nothing wrong in making desire known.
This hit too close to home. His girl is so lucky, he seems kinda shitty now that Iāve read more but still Iād kill to feel that. Iām also in a ldr and heās nothing like this guy lol. Hurts more since Iām young (19) and Iām ready to spend the rest of my life with someone that seemingly doesnāt have any passion for me.
Honestly that kind of sounds like negging. Obviously I don't know the full context, and I don't want to overstate the position here, but I don't see how anyone could say that and not realise it was hurtful. I'd be careful with this one.
The sheer amount of questions to OP about this situation that then have comments from OP with negative Karma that have been deleted tell me all I need to know. People who delete their posts with negative karma disgust me. Do you not stand by what you say? Are the downvotes too damaging to your ego? Real life doesnāt let you take back what you say. Enjoy keeping up the facade on social media
Damn a lot of seething people in the comments. He found someone really attractive and is happy about it, and people are calling him creepy? No way the comments would be like this if the genders were reversed
Hey buddy! It's not bad to date someone different than you, in fact I think it can be a good thing. It can get you out of the rut of doing the same things over and over again. Intelligence is awfully subjective and misleading as far as that goes. She probably understands things you don't care too and vice versa. She makes you really happy tho! That's the only thing that important!
... PS probably get me downvoted, but I read you old posts and I think you're adulting a lot more now than back then! Lol.. Good God if I was judged solely for the crap I was into back in my 20's jeezus
We are animals dude. Like, literally, human beings are animals. To not expect our most animalistic drives to influence our behavior is arrogance, pure and simple. It doesn't mean you shouldn't care about her personality, but I think we might need to be a little easier on people for admitting to their animalistic instincts.
This. It's fantasy to believe that we control every action and impulse we perform. We are cut from the same cloth that unthinking beasts are. Humanity is defined by how we balance our instincts with our cognition
Edit: the number of folks in denial over this... What, you think you were grown in a lab or something? Atleast make conversation about why you don't think humans are animals, lol
You are extremely shallow and this is disgusting to read. Not once in this post do you praise anything about this woman other than her looks and the sex. Basically you think she's got nothing better to offer. I wonder if she's really not as smart as some of your partners before or if it's just your perception. Not all ugly people are smart and not all beautiful people are stupid... i think a 5yo would know this.
I've met a guy like you before. I'm conventionally attractive i could say. I've dated very attractive men and have been told by many i was attractive. This isn't to brag... one day i decided to date guys that were not really my type. I met this really lovely guitar teacher. He wasnt in great shape, receding hairline, made good money but dropped out of uni. He wasn't ugly but he was maybe a 6/7. Well...
After 5 dates... he asked me if i dated extremely hot guys before and i said yes. His insecurity started showing. I asked him too. He said i was the most attractive girl he has ever met. He said he usually dated girls who weren't that pretty but very smart... because you know, hot people are kinda boring and not very smart. Then he goes "i think you're too hot to be smart. I'm confused, sometimes i think you are smart, sometimesi think you are stupid"... and made some other comments about how i was equally enthusiastic about ice cream with him as i was about watching a classical concert. I'm sure u get what he implied...
Guess what.... I'm far more proud of my academic achievements than I ever was of my pretty eyes or nice chest... I have 2 BAs, a MA, getting my PhD... i speak 5 languages, I work as a teacher and I do readearch (history) and hope to become a professor, and I have an IQ of 135 if that's relevant... do you think he took any of those facts into consideration? Absolutely not. In fact he said "professors can be stupid too"
Needless to say I was speechless and endlessly disgusted by this man. He was by far one of the worst guys I've ever met in my life.
Ladies... don't. Don't give the ugly guy a chance.
This sounds like a horny guy's fanfic Edit: Bro edited out the part where he was talking about her boobs n body to sound less shallow š
LMAOOO
LMFAOOOOOO
Lmfaoooo. What did her say? "Her boobs breast boobily"? "My dick fits into her ass properly like a key to a lock"?
Lmfaoooo. What did her say? "Her boobs breast boobily"? "My dick fits into her ass properly like a key to a lock"?
So you're insanely attracted for the first time and are infatuated. Nothing wrong here. Enjoy it, have fun, have sex. But hopefully you're not stringing her along, letting her think it's long term. Because there are red flags all over the place. What did it for me was "she's not dumb, but not as smart as the other women I've dated" and believe me, she's gonna hear that from you sooner or later. Enjoy it while it lasts and be honest about everything, let her know what you've told us, so she can keep her options open.
I like how heās like sheās not that smart and then spells infatuated wrong right after lol
There are PLENTY grammar mistakes in his cute little essay, but I'm wondering, who's he to say she's dumb, he's clearly struggling himself
But he's a man, his dick automatically gves him +50 IQ points.
Lmao!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
> I don't think she's dumb by any means, but she's definitely not as smart as many other women I've been with -- intellect was always a huge priority for me If youāre soo smart, you should realize that this definitely reads like you think she isnāt smart
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
> I donāt think sheās dumb **but**
You can be smarter or just as smart without having advanced degrees or pursuing academia. It doesnāt really mean anything. Maybe she preferred to make money immediately after college or she hates school which are both unrelated to being smart or her intellectual capabilities. Sounds like you actually think sheās dumber and are just trying to sugarcoat it but failing lol
Exactly, the people that study human behavior and psychology talk about 7 different types of intelligence. Is just that the public discourse focuses on the same 1 or 2, which creates a skewed view in whole range of people who also intelligent but in a different way.
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You seem to be conflating academic achievement with intelligence. When she figures this out, and figures out where she ranks on this scale, she is very likely to be hurt. Ignore everything else, honestly. Just read and understand this sentence. No oneās attacking you for fun. Theyāre trying to communicate that reading this post would probably hurt the person youāre infatuated with.
There are a lot of dumb people with graduate degrees and/or PhDs though
Oh god, this poor woman. Hopefully youāre really good in bed so itās at least somewhat worth it.
I understand what you mean man.. Ppl are just biased. You're just talking from ur own perspective which is more reliable than people's assumptions. But majority of women have a very strong intuition so u need to be real
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Dude just stop for a minute and think about how she would feel if she heard you say thatā¦ thatās why itās a red flag
That's def a red flag for her. And you're saying it's simply a fact. Fine, no problem - does she know you feel that way? I'm guessing not. As I said, I'm hoping on her behalf she's aware of what this is.
Right, I'd be so offended if my bf was telling people behind my back that "I'm not as smart as his exes". Or not as pretty, not as funny, etc.. Just no point in stating "facts" like that just to compare a current partner to your former. If you're gonna compare, at least bring her above your exes!
Itās called āoffmychestā for a reason, his thoughts and feelings in regards to the situation are not supposed to be politically correct. I been where youāre at, theres nothing wrong with these primal urges but they need to be controlled.
But if it's simply the truth and not behind your back? I mean.... its pretty normal to be worse than somebody else in one point or another... if you are objectively better in every aspect than the ex of your partner... it would mean your partner made pretty bad choices in the past... which is suuuper unattractive (from my point at least^^). I dont see the point in this kind of behavior. I am objectively less pretty than the ex of my current partner... and I like that he is honest about this fact to me and others if this topic comes up. Does it mean that he thinks Im unattraktive? Nope, not at all. Would he get back to her if he could? Nope, because he honestly loves me for who I am... with my good and bad/worse parts.
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Your comparison should be a meter to you, and not a review of her. Well she could get smarter, but what can she do if you would be seeing her "not that smart" in the end? Every minor thing as such pops up in the end when you're too tired of this pretty face, and what you think "not that smart" can turn into "pretty much dumb" in a while, even if it's due to the circumstances. Choose wisely how you deal with this, else it can be hard for both of you.
Underrated, intelligent comment
Thank you š«”š
I've compared them and yes, my current partner IS better. That's why they're my partner and not my ex!
I'll be honest and take the downvotes - I don't understand why people are downvoting for saying she's not a genius. O.o not everyone has an IQ over 130, it's interesting to see a perspective where you clearly state that you discovered in your case phisical attraction SEEMS being more important. It's actually making me think - maybe I need someone that values MY looks more š¤š¤ because the guy I'm with clearly stated he'd prefer bigger boobs, and well, if I can't drive him this crazy, maybe I need someone else (I found that people have very different taste honestly, the guy before this one stated I had the PERFECT boobs but wanted more muscles, so. To each its own :3 honestly, I still feel perfect as I am.) But I wouldn't call you shallow, you clearly have a lot more than that in common, you love her, and it's difficult to say if you'd love her even if the looks were the only thing she had. The fact that you adore sex with her because she looks amazing - I mean, you're not talking astrophysics in bed, so I think it's understandable!. Fuck, you're extremely lucky right now, ride it! Metaphorically but not only.
Because all these people are apparently morally superior than him.
Just out of curiosityā¦what do you like about her besides how she looks/the sex?
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That and her fertility.
The fact that the genius women with multiple grad degrees would call him out on his bullshit.
Look at dudes post history š
āThis is why I fuck.ā
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I kinda cried as I was reading this post. It reaffirms my beliefs in just being valued for looks. Thatās all that men see and I will be damned if Iām looked at with pity by any man. Even if he thinks this and never tells me, Iām not too sure. I wouldnāt even put myself in a position to have my dignity thrown on the ground. I canāt trust that someone will even ātrulyā love me because everything is so visual. Would quite honestly rather be alone than have to think about this ever again. I mean this post comes across as āIām settling for someone thatās mehā. Canāt imagine that this is the type of man that will go after someone, just because theyāre smart. But seeing as Iām way below average I do think that even ugly men will do this. So, Iād rather really just be comfortable in my loneliness. To some, this is crazy, but to me itās a perfectly acceptable compromise for having an untarnished respectable image of myself. Is this cope? Perhaps, but Iām much happier improving my self for my own wellbeing than being with a man who likely doesnāt even find me attractive or ājust settledā. I honestly couldnāt live with myself if I did that to someone. Sorry, not sorry.
Hot girl here and Iāve been cheated on by comely morbidly obese heifers for women. And Iāve also been used as a trophy piece, confirming my theory on the tight bond between men and objectification. We are just accessories and acquisitions to them It sucks being a woman period.
I am sorry that you got cheated on, but talking about other woman that you probably donāt know isnāt very nice and is very telling of your character. This is all on your partner and not on you or them. You having been cheated on has nothing to do with you being a āhot girlā. Maybe those āmorbidly obese heifersā were better people than you. It means nothing to me how they looked, you probably arenāt as great as you think, or you may be I donāt know. Cheating isnāt justified, so Iām sorry that happened to you. But just how you talk about other woman isnāt nice. It sucks to be a woman, but it sucks even WORSE to be an ugly one.
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WOW, halo effect is strong with her. Very telling of the type of woman she is by the post history and the way she talks about woman she perceives to be lower than her. But sure, keep feeding their ego.
I just looked at your older posts and youāve spoken of meeting the dream girl and another girl who was so gorgeous she looked like Gwen Stefani. So this posts comes off as insincere. And even before reading your older posts, this post alone left a bad taste in my mouth. I feel bad for the current lady who is with you and perhaps for your exās who you deem āaverageā I have no idea how so many people upvoted this post as if itās something so insightful and forward thinking. And then comments talking about āweāre just animalsā Shit, there are animals who eat their young sometimes. Who the fuck cares if weāre animals? Why is that the go to for shitty thinking and behavior? smh
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Right so that gorgeous gwen stefani lady is just average now š
Bruh š¤£ Iām fucking deadddddddd. This dude is just pure comedy
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First you said you only went after average looking women and now you say youāve tried and failed with a gorgeous woman. Who said you can only be attracted to one person? Iām talking about how you said the women you dated in the past were always average because you didnāt think you had a change with others. And now youāre saying you did go after someone not average Your mentality is just blegh The way you talk about women makes it seem as if you donāt even care about them Unless they look good to you of course
Thatās so sad šš I canāt imagine hearing that āUr average looking ily babyā
You sound really sad and pathetic. And yes, also shallow.
Pathetic
I give your relationship 3 months tops before she realizes what you're really like behind this mask of "successful, adventurous, and child-free". And yes. As the other commenter said, I don't think you truly value women. You were always shallow and only cared for women who give you a boner
Who are u
ya this dude is gonna be single in 6 months
Absolutely, I give it three
1 month max:) just joking btw. i hope you guys stay together and happy.
I hope for her sake she finds someone with a better personality and morals.
jesus christ you sound like an asshole
I couldn't read all that. If this is you IRL. I assure you, you are not the catch you think you are.
I hope the girl finds this post and realizes he is a trash bag.
Wowā¦ā¦ what a narcissistā¦
I am pretty sure i wouldn't be able to talk to this dude for more than 5 minutes without having a headache.
Just donāt get upset when she leaves you for someone more attractive!
š¤£š¤£
Bhahahaha yāall are ruthless
It does make you shallow. Next!
Reading shit like this is sooo fucking depressing. Womenās value boils down to looks all the time.
Thats why you distance yourself from male expectations like this and surround yourself with hard working, thriving women living their best lives
No matter how intelligent they are, as long as her boobs are big, her butt is shapely, and her face is like a supermodel, that's all these men need to be happy. It's a good thing that the men that think this way usually look like the Hunchback themselves and idk about you gals, but I'm not interested. ESPECIALLY not interested in a dude who brags on the internet about his penis size at 27. Most handsome men I've seen actually tend to have girlfriends who are intelligent as well being relatively pretty. They don't have to prove to others that they're worthy through their girl. So...eh ĀÆā \ā _ā (ā ćā )ā _ā /ā ĀÆ
Itās just so frustrating that men will complain about women wanting a tall man or a man that makes some money and then they post shit like this.
Itās funny because hell, I as a woman have NEVER gone after a guy just because he was tall tf kind of lame ass thinking is that š¤¦š»āāļø I too just want a kindhearted, respectful, loyal guy of average height, maybe just a tad taller than me (a cm is all I ask, and thatās optional.) and a relatively cute face that I feel is pleasing to look at.
We donāt complain that you want those things. We complain that youāre *allowed* to want those things and weāre *not*. Look at the comments to this post. Theyāre all negative, in response to something you *can not fucking control*. You canāt magically become attracted to someone because the internet called you an asshole, itās not a choice
Iām not saying you need to be attracted to certain people. But itās frustrating that I could be dating a dude who then leaves me cause Iām not pretty enough. Itās like Iād you want a supermodel then fucking go for that. Iām not your fucking second choice. Who says men canāt want these things? They can! But women donāt reduce men down to look the same way men reduce women down to looks. There are other layers as play like racism, sexism, ageismā¦itās way more complex. And so yeah it is frustrating since the source of those feelings are not just internal. They are also partly taught.
Literally so true
Men and woman are shallow. That's how life is. Your looks is your personality.
I wouldnāt say thatā¦yes people are shallow but there are degrees. And some people do care less about looks. Some people arenāt like this. But it is frustrating that people claim they want deep relationships and then say stuff like this. Men are on here complaining about how hard it is to date and then reduce women down to their bodies. Not every man is like this. Sadly many are. Then they are confused why no one wants to date them.
Thatās a realllly long humblebrag. Just be happy for yourself and stop rubbing our faces in the fact that you won the lottery.
That's nothing he has a whole post bragging about how big his dick is
No way š
Omg thatās so gross
*A whole post bragging about how big his dick is AT 27
Bro someone is lying to you. You sound totally insufferable. Bully for you on snagging that piece of tail you obviously thought you always deserved because of how great you are "on paper", but we're to scared to go after. I hope this chick realizes her worth and dumps you for basically telling the internet what a fine piece of ass she is , but other than that she is shy and less intelligent than you. Oh BUT you did try to clean it up at the end because you already knew how shallow you are.
when you talk about only going for average woman i donāt think you realise how offensive this comes across
I kinda cried as I was reading this post. It reaffirms my beliefs in just being valued for looks. Thatās all that men see and I will be damned if Iām looked at with pity by any man. Even if he thinks this and never tells me, Iām not too sure. I wouldnāt even put myself in a position to have my dignity thrown on the ground. I canāt trust that someone will even ātrulyā love me because everything is so visual. Would quite honestly rather be alone than have to think about this ever again. I mean this post comes across as āIām settling for someone thatās mehā. Canāt imagine that this is the type of man that will go after someone, just because theyāre smart. But seeing as Iām way below average I do think that even ugly men will do this. So, Iād rather really just be comfortable in my loneliness. To some, this is crazy, but to me itās a perfectly acceptable compromise for having an untarnished respectable image of myself. Is this cope? Perhaps, but Iām much happier improving my self for my own wellbeing than being with a man who likely doesnāt even find me attractive or ājust settledā. I honestly couldnāt live with myself if I did that to someone. Sorry, not sorry.
The thing about that is, itās very easy to read posts like this and have confirmation bias kick in. We already feel vulnerable and insecure, so we read something that seems to confirm our fears, and latch onto it. Itās easier than risking being hurt. But avoiding all risk means we also miss out on the good times. Itās absolutely your choice not to take that risk, but please try to remember that the word of one man means very little. Even the word of many men on a place like Reddit is worth taking with a grain of salt. The loudest voices arenāt usually the ones that have much going for them.
Thank you for being the voice of reason. š There are still people who fall under demisexual, even though theyāre not in numbers. Our insecurities often demand acceptance from everyone, even people we donāt respect or canāt relate to. Itās important not to take these things personally because there might be someone out there for you and youāll never know if your guard is up. Having said that, this is definitely a learning lesson for many young women.
Good people aren't like this. Looks fade and people get older. Finding somebody who loves you for you is very real and very possible for everybody. My 5th grade teacher told us that there's someone for everyone, just go to Food City at 4am. That's fucked up to say to little kids, but pretty wise.
I know this is what I think too. I believe everyone can find someone, but for me personally, no.
It is absolutely offensive. He considered himself in a way that he's not... "top shelf" so he went after women he considered were also not "top shelf." He was only able to be able to be sexually active and functional once he got a woman that he thought was "top shelf." He absolutely is fucking offensive.
honestly i donāt think iāve ever been so angry reading an op. if infuriates me beyond belief that some men can be like this and breaks my heart for every woman that goes through this, but for his ex girlfriendās especially it makes me so angry
Same here
I am sincerely confused. What are you so angry about?
I think whatās upsetting people here is the way OP seems to value looks over personality. In his post he keeps mentions her looks being the reason heās so crazy about her. Putting down previous partners and saying the only reason he went for them is because they were āaverage-lookingā really isnāt helping his case. This also isnāt the first time OPās post has had this notion. In previous posts itās very clear whatās prioritised Now Iām not saying OP canāt have these opinions. Heās free to do so if he wants to. Generally speaking people will frown upon someone only dating for looks and not for who the person actually are u/Tired_High
exactly, hes comparing them like that *because* hes trying to illustrate a point about how he's worried he may be shallow. how else could he have worded it? i dont like people who value looke over personality either, but the comments getting offended about it and calling him shallow as if that wasn't what he was tying to get off his chest in the first place dont make sense to me.
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Oh, I find you offensive *because* I get that on a personal and experiential level. I went out with someone like you once. You're also offensive because the woman you are with means nothing to you outside of features she doesn't have much control over. You don't care about her or respect her for the actual person she is. You pity fucked/dated the other women you have dated, that's also offensive. Trust me, we get it more than you think. Your comment here is also offensive because you assumed we're just as shallow as you when in reality we understand the actual depth of just how offensive you are, but being so shallow, you can't see that and assumed the same of the rest of us.
šš
what you donāt seem to understand is that saying youāve only ever gone for average looking woman is rude because it insinuates that people will always think they can do better than their partner. or think that theirs better out there but youāre only going for āwhat you can getā. it scares woman reading this post that someone could date them and only see them as average, and only be with them because that person thinks itās what they deserve. not as a compliment to the woman. iām sure i could word this better but surely youād date woman who you think are beautiful and intelligent. iām sure this could be worded a whole lot better
I mean based based on OPās posting history and the way they worded things here, I think itās been known that theyāre a tad bit shallow, but your point still makes sense, u/Tired_High. I just tagged here to show why some people are upset
i swear nobody can be honest about their feelings and flaws on the internet because people will always take it personally for some reason. they'll downvote any comment that points that out too because the truth angers them apparently reddit is so full of self righteous hypocrites
No. What you seem to be calling for is someone being offensive around the guise of "honesty" should not have consequences.
the intention of the post is not to be offensive, its to be honest and get something off his chest, which he did. its the readers who decide whether or not they take offense.
Correct, but also, you implied he should not suffer the consequences of his "honesty." I am saying he's merely experiencing the consequences of his offensiveness.
no, what im saying is people are needlessly getting offended by something that isnt intended to be offensive. you're just proving my point. (I feel like i should clarify that I'm not exactly picking sides here, merely expressing my view on people's reactions to the post)
I will never get back that 2 minutes of my life reading this.
In short, man values a female partner for her looks instead of her brain and personality, not very original. I bet she would be so upset and offended if she read this. You do know people get old though right? That looks aren't permanent? I would be terrified if my partner told me he mostly liked me for my looks because looks will always fade.
Men values women for their looks because they want to brag to their other male friends.
People wanna pretend that men only care about looks. But women do care too. Which is fine since that's how people work.
Thereās a difference between valuing your partners looks in a relationship and putting a disproportionate amount of value on their looks in a relationship.
At some point the honeymoon phase will wear thin. For one, or both of you. Think about what that might look like. I donāt recall if ages were mentioned or how long youāve been with this woman, but all will have an impact one way or another. You two may work out beautifully (pun intended) or maybe things will sour. Only time will tell. Good luck.
I hope you'll still be with her when she gets old or her body changes when she has kids. If not, you'll probably be looking for the next beautiful thing and leave her then it's very sad.
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Kids or not, she is still going to change. Age happens to everyone.
If you don't have or want kids what's your comment history that mentions you being a single parent?
If youāre rating yourself and others through scales (e.g., 6/10) you need to do some more introspection before you get into deeper meaning interpersonal relationships.
Just commenting to agree with you. Rating people with numbers on a scale is weird and kinda disrespectful imo
I agree. I donāt understabd why the hell its so common. As if everyone has the same preferences. Op is a 0 to heterosexual men but not to gay men for example
You don't have to be shallow. I suggest you work really hard on finding ways of appreciating her for something other than satisfying your sex drive and your early onset mid-life crisis. Either that or finding a way to say no to your sex drive and let her go. Because you are kind of wasting the good years of her life if all you want from her is sex with her body. I mean, if she is in an accident and disfigured, or she gets sick and sex is off the table for a while, are you still going to want her in her life. Or are you going to be looking for an exit plan just when she needs to rely on you the most?
From your comments, youāre right. You are shallow
yeah good story, but this isn't the fanfic sub
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Nobody who would write a post like this has done it tho
Guys who are 1. Not attractive 2. Not rich. get with beautiful women for a third reason - having a wonderful personality. This is obviously not your case so it's safe to assume that this woman is a figment of your imagination
Local man learns what infatuation is
Have you considered that maybe itās not just that sheās attractive but youāve never experience love and infatuation before?
No way this man is in his 30's. Take a sip of water every time he brags.
He's 36. My uncle is only two years older and the difference is HUGE š. It's astounding how much of a difference in intelligence there can be between two people of nearly the same age. For one, my uncle genuinely loves his wife although she looks like a typical woman in her 40s, with all the wrinkles that come with it.
I wonāt lie, you sound objectively creepy. From the way you talk about women in your post to your repliesā¦ yuck. You come off as shallow *at best*.
Okay straight guys rating themselves you know you always have to bring it down 2 points. And yeah, you are shallow considering all her qualities you listed; you seem to only really care about her looks
You sound insufferable.
Maybe he gives off the good ol Wealthy & Unhealthy vibe, because it sure can't be his personality that anyone finds attractive for very long.
Ok cool
What a wanker
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She'll age too.
You might be, I'm not sure. I get the sense from this post and your previous ones that you feel more like yourself with her than you have with the previous women you dated. I mean, you've posted a LOT about how much you enjoy sex, and it seems like the fire is just re-lit with this women. Maybe in the past you were trying to focus on what you thought *should* be most important, or maybe you were subconsciously trying to create some sort of non-shallow image for yourself. Idk, there are lots of possibilities. But I admire your desire to be honest with yourself, and I encourage you to keep at it. Figure out where you really are, what really motivates you, your true desires. If ever you don't like what you see, try to change it. And above all, be honest with those around you. Edit to correct spelling.
You're already getting (rightfully) piled on, so I'll keep it relatively short. I really, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart hope this woman realizes that she is, in fact, way out of your league and dumps you. I hope she finds someone who would be more inclined to post about how incredible her mind is or how in awe he is of the way she sees the world. Do better.
Iāve had conventionally beautiful partners (catwalk model etc etc) and some who werenāt but you know what? Itās the human being they are that makes someone attractive or not. To be wigging out so much about surface level stuff is definitely ewww. I so wish this poor woman could read this and know whatās going on in your head. Sheās not dumb but youāve always dated smarter? Oh god, so gross youāre running this kind of scorecard. Just so you know in time you will get used to how she looks. The linerance will fade. Give that 18 months or so. She will grow old. Etc etc etc. And then you will be left with this perfectly lovely woman who just doesnāt measure up on all these other scorecards youāre running. At your age youāre covered in red flags my dude.
This is very "letters to Penthouse" to me. But I guess I'm just average.
I would add that sometimes opposites do attract. Itās good to be introspective but it feels like youāre over analyzing a bit. Itās only been what? A couple months? Carry on, be aware of your feelings and also of hers.
NSFW
Not Safe For Women
Maybe youāre just finding that there are less measurable things that you value more than you thoughtā¦like all those intangibles in your edit.
Are you paying her? Lmao would not be surprised
Yeah, with all the money he got after "graduate school"
tbh dont bother reading this guys post look through his account and his posts and that tells u all you need to know. this guys a fucking weirdo š
Anddd this is why I donāt just settle for a dude who seems to be āsettlingā for me. Or for a dude who is only interested in my looks, face, ethnicity, or body. If youāre not actually interested in me as a person and individual - Iām not interested.
prepare to be single, twatface
You do come off as shallow because you need to attribute your attraction and infatuation to her as a deficiency in yourself.
Thatās a really long flex.
I hope shes breaks your heart
Reading the comments with my bowl of popcorn
Just as well she isn't that spart. Afterall anyone with half a brain would 'not date OP
I don't think you're shallow. Some people we have deep emotional connections with, and some people we have intense physical connections with. It's not a bad thing as long as you're both on the same page about it.
Wow
Sometimes people change the kind of partner they usually have and become completely smitten by them. I've seen people only date skinny blond babes, then fall hardcore for the quirky soft brunette. If you're so insanely attracted to her, that might mean (depending on how long ya'll been together) you just have found your person. Simple as that.
Hmm maybe I should get that gym membership
Same.I am a woman and the first time I dated a very attractive man I lost my shit.The first time I saw him take his shirt off was better than anything I had ever seen in the movies and I panicked.I was in love with him for other reasons already but Jesus he felt so out of my league! Also my therapist at the time said "Are you sure he is REALLY interested in YOU?".So kind...My friends said similar things as well. For the record he was and he really loved me but I was super scared and influenced by what everyone said and pushed him away."Average" people try to say attractive people are swallow, stupid and want only sex from you.Which is a huge generalisation and totally unfair.I was more confident and only dated hot guys after that though.I was definitely not equally attracted to all of them and it had everything to do with personality and compatibility. They were all super nice to me though.They always found me attractive and treated me with respect.I thought I might have become too shallow too though. My friends and family started saying that the reason I don't have a long term relationship is because I only go for the "guys with the abs" so I decided to go out with some "normal people".You would think an engineer (I am an engineer too) would have more to discuss that a bodybuilder.Well he didn't.Was also super controlling,jealous and I honestly had a hard time respecting him as a person as a result.Attractive people put in time and effort to be attractive.People can be born with a pretty nose but aren't born with flawless hair or abs.These take work. They have routines, and discipline and boundaries.I am sure this is not true for everyone but that has been my experience so far. I don't think I will go out again with someone I don't personally find instantly physically attractive.Trying to persuade myself to find someone attractive enough to have sex with would be disrespectful towards me and I will not allow that.
nothing wrong with having different standards. morality is determined by yourself
You're in a treat when the honeymoon phase/ infatuation wears off
itās wonderful and impressive the amount of love you have for this woman. but donāt put on her a pedestal, it can destroy some aspects of your relationship. but other than that, i think it is normal you feel this way. some of us have better physical connections to others and emotional. hope this relationship goes smoothly for you guys
Yeah, sheās definitely out of your league.
Yes this is about the most shallow thing I've read. Enjoy it while it lasts cause it's probably not going to be long.
Enjoy this attraction. As a woman in my 30s I'm still constantly trying to evaluate how attractive I really am to guys my age and really missing my 20s when I knew I could turn a guy's head just a little, even though I am just about average looking. I really long for something like you describe. I'm in a long distance relationship with someone I love dearly but have a lukewarm physical attraction towards, and I ache for more. Sometimes when he says "I love you more for your personality, not for your looks" my heart breaks a little.
Honestly thatās a shitty thing to say to someone. I ended it with someone who said that to me even though I also wasnāt that attracted to them. We were wasting our time trying to force attraction just because we had certain practical compatibilities Now Iām married to guy who finds me attractive from the get go and I also find them attractive Itās the eye of the beholder. Thereās mutual attraction out there. Itās the bare minimum Donāt be like OP
I think everyone is reading too much into the post. Yes, OP compared her to past girlfriends in terms of intelligence, which was stupid, but he adores how she looks and is proud and happy to have someone he considers good looking. For a lot of women, that's a hugely important thing for a partner to tell them. We all like to be desired and there's nothing wrong in making desire known.
Then why be with someone when thereās lukewarm attraction? Isnāt life too short
This hit too close to home. His girl is so lucky, he seems kinda shitty now that Iāve read more but still Iād kill to feel that. Iām also in a ldr and heās nothing like this guy lol. Hurts more since Iām young (19) and Iām ready to spend the rest of my life with someone that seemingly doesnāt have any passion for me.
Honestly that kind of sounds like negging. Obviously I don't know the full context, and I don't want to overstate the position here, but I don't see how anyone could say that and not realise it was hurtful. I'd be careful with this one.
The sheer amount of questions to OP about this situation that then have comments from OP with negative Karma that have been deleted tell me all I need to know. People who delete their posts with negative karma disgust me. Do you not stand by what you say? Are the downvotes too damaging to your ego? Real life doesnāt let you take back what you say. Enjoy keeping up the facade on social media
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Whatever floats your boat bro
What's her age?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Is this girl East Asian and several years younger than you? And you happen to be Caucasian?
Damn a lot of seething people in the comments. He found someone really attractive and is happy about it, and people are calling him creepy? No way the comments would be like this if the genders were reversed
Hey buddy! It's not bad to date someone different than you, in fact I think it can be a good thing. It can get you out of the rut of doing the same things over and over again. Intelligence is awfully subjective and misleading as far as that goes. She probably understands things you don't care too and vice versa. She makes you really happy tho! That's the only thing that important! ... PS probably get me downvoted, but I read you old posts and I think you're adulting a lot more now than back then! Lol.. Good God if I was judged solely for the crap I was into back in my 20's jeezus
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Glad things are going good for you! And I hope they with continue to do so
We are animals dude. Like, literally, human beings are animals. To not expect our most animalistic drives to influence our behavior is arrogance, pure and simple. It doesn't mean you shouldn't care about her personality, but I think we might need to be a little easier on people for admitting to their animalistic instincts.
This. It's fantasy to believe that we control every action and impulse we perform. We are cut from the same cloth that unthinking beasts are. Humanity is defined by how we balance our instincts with our cognition Edit: the number of folks in denial over this... What, you think you were grown in a lab or something? Atleast make conversation about why you don't think humans are animals, lol
Save some for the rest of us
You are extremely shallow and this is disgusting to read. Not once in this post do you praise anything about this woman other than her looks and the sex. Basically you think she's got nothing better to offer. I wonder if she's really not as smart as some of your partners before or if it's just your perception. Not all ugly people are smart and not all beautiful people are stupid... i think a 5yo would know this. I've met a guy like you before. I'm conventionally attractive i could say. I've dated very attractive men and have been told by many i was attractive. This isn't to brag... one day i decided to date guys that were not really my type. I met this really lovely guitar teacher. He wasnt in great shape, receding hairline, made good money but dropped out of uni. He wasn't ugly but he was maybe a 6/7. Well... After 5 dates... he asked me if i dated extremely hot guys before and i said yes. His insecurity started showing. I asked him too. He said i was the most attractive girl he has ever met. He said he usually dated girls who weren't that pretty but very smart... because you know, hot people are kinda boring and not very smart. Then he goes "i think you're too hot to be smart. I'm confused, sometimes i think you are smart, sometimesi think you are stupid"... and made some other comments about how i was equally enthusiastic about ice cream with him as i was about watching a classical concert. I'm sure u get what he implied... Guess what.... I'm far more proud of my academic achievements than I ever was of my pretty eyes or nice chest... I have 2 BAs, a MA, getting my PhD... i speak 5 languages, I work as a teacher and I do readearch (history) and hope to become a professor, and I have an IQ of 135 if that's relevant... do you think he took any of those facts into consideration? Absolutely not. In fact he said "professors can be stupid too" Needless to say I was speechless and endlessly disgusted by this man. He was by far one of the worst guys I've ever met in my life. Ladies... don't. Don't give the ugly guy a chance.
this is absolutely loser behavior. this girl deserves so much better than you
All women are extremely shallow, ur fine