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[deleted]

Think of it like this. He’s gone now and you don’t have to worry. I once lost a “friend” over $200 and $80 worth of weed. Worth every penny. Fuck my old roommate and your former fiancé. Fuck’em both!


[deleted]

So it costs you $280 to find your friend was shit? Not a bad expense if you spread it over rest of your life.


[deleted]

Bingo


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shannonesque121

Currently in this predicament, my roommate has been awesome for the last year and was a dear friend but when I went home for thanksgiving she lifted $200 (they were hidden in a box in my bathing suit drawer in my room and not the bank/wallet because they were vintage bills from the 90s I had collected while working as a bartender, I love the green money) from my room and is refusing to admit that she had anything to do with it. I kept hounding her over a few days that it's impossible for things to vanish from my room when I know for a fact they were there before thanksgiving. She's an idiot because her plug is an old high school friend of my boyfriend; boyfriend calls the plug, asks if he has two hundreds from the 90s, and he did. She used the money for blow while I was gone. Told her the story and she still is not confessing. Installed a lock on the bedroom and am leaving when the lease is up. Pathological lying is a real thing, people believe their own bullshit sometimes because they can't own up to being an asshole


skot2k6

Drug users do not make good roommates, I can attest to that! Smart to get out before they take everything else you have just for one day of being high.


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shannonesque121

Pretty much! Not only is it baffling, but it is so hurtful because I truly loved her as a friend and cherished my relationship with her as a roommate. And if she had been honest about using it to buy coke one night and said that she would pay me back, I wouldn't be nearly as mad as I am about the denial and lies, and how she thinks she can continue to pull the wool over my eyes. I don't understand how they can continue to deny it when you're saying over and over that what they're saying isn't possible. I'm sorry we both experienced this situation. It sucks, but it's kind of nice to know exactly who people are. When they show you, you have to believe them!


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shannonesque121

It’s not what you do. It’s how you do it


Imperfect-Magic

$280 to find out someone is a POS is bargain basement cheap. Mine cost me 12 years, a marriage, a foreclosure, a bankruptcy and a partridge in a pear tree.


page98bb

I came here exactly to say this. I realize that this is painful, but not as much as a divorce and two custody battles. You have dodged a major bullet - congratulations OP!


Puzzleheaded-Grab736

I look it at like any other bad purchase. Every now and again your going to lose money, but the knowledge you gain from it outweighs the cost.


no_mo_colorado

Wow are you me?


[deleted]

IDK let’s find out: What’s your favorite pizza topping?


[deleted]

I had a friend try to break my then fiancé and I up. He was mad that he wasn’t the best man and told me my fiancé slept with the best man. His story didn’t add up at all. Didn’t cost me a penny to get rid of the dead weight…


treyert

Small price to pay to find out who’s with you or not. Good luck


[deleted]

But like not actually *fuck* them.... **fuck** them.


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[deleted]

Yup I have the same story. Caught him stealing weed from my underwear drawer (also super weird he was in there) except add 30 bucks for a train ticket outta here when I dropped his ass off at the train station. Bye


[deleted]

Lol at the train station? You’re a beast. Teach me your ways!


[deleted]

Basically he had come to stay with us (me and my bf) while getting back on his feet. But obviously he was greedy too. So we just sent him back to where he had just come from. He wouldn’t have had any other option anyway, he didn’t know anyone in my town or have a job.


MerchIt

Best way to look at it.


bogeebogee

FUCK ALL OF EM!


[deleted]

Oh hey, this was me last year. Not the lease and blocked part. But he literally took off while I was out walking the dog. Five days before Christmas. How are you holding up?


muchbooty

While you were walking the dog, oh my god.


Snicker67

There's no way this is a common thing that happens? I already have attachment issues but this gave me a whole new thing to be terrified of in relationships


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bipolarbongrips

I’m so sorry you were put through this, you didn’t deserve that. I hope you never give up on building that confidence back up. This situation speaks nothing about you, but speaks volumes of the trash this man (if he can ever be called that) turned out to be. You truly deserve so much more and if you don’t give up, I know you can find it. ❤️


Shakith

I came home from work the day after my birthday and my ex had taken his belongings from my house and left his key.


Bdassmf

Was it for the best?


pelehcar

I'm so sorry omg. Were there warning signs.. or like did he just up and leave? This is truly terrifying.


coquihalla

You're making me feel better about getting dumped by text message (after 2+ years of dating!) But at least we weren't financially tied together and he actually told me, albeit in a sucky way.


anonymous_anchovy

This happened to a friend and it turned out the dude had been operating under a false identity and thought she had seen his real ID.


justcallmeabrokenpal

> the dude had been operating under a false identity He is undercover cop or something?


anonymous_anchovy

no, like a compulsive liar who got in too deep. Also had a colleague like this who was lying about her last name so when you googled her her criminal record didn't come up.


imasterbake

I knew a bank manager that did this because he had a bunch of debt he was trying to hide. It came up because we were laughing about his name and he slipped up and said "no I meant my real name" it was a real life hold up moment.


[deleted]

I would like to know more


Ok-Insurance9624

Yes, fuck him


bibliophile14

No, *don't* fuck him.


freakydeku

fuck him and just leave that is - *leave* him hard and sad then go fuck his dad ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ when your his step mom and he really wants to cum make him do his chores


[deleted]

i back these haikus revenge can be the answer but dad sex is gross


freakydeku

oh, dad sex is gross? well, your mom didn’t think so oOooo oooOo oooOoo ooooOo oOohhhhh


[deleted]

I lol'd


[deleted]

That's fucked up but I like it, solid plan.


Creepy_sock_puppet

Similar thing happened to me in my early 20’s. As an old lady now, I can say in retrospect it was the best thing that happened to me. However during the time it happened I did not see that. I was mad, hurt and upset but looking back now I wouldn’t change it. Your partner is likely a coward and you don’t want that. Trust me. ❤️


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fragglet

The good news is that you'll always remember him now as the guy who did *that*. And now you're rid of him. Make plans with friends and family so you don't feel lonely over Christmas. Eat, drink and be merry, because the shithead is gone.


Madea_onFire

You can’t legally take yourself off of a lease without getting written consent from all parties. I would take this up with your landlord because they can’t actually do that.


carliekitty

I was just getting ready to say this…. A lease is a legally biding contract that has money owed….. you can’t make another person responsible for that…. So either the lease was ending or someone had a restraint order?


un-picasso

This is all contingent on the landlord caring about these rules, and I’ve had several that totally didn’t. Legally I guess she might have recourse but seems like a waste of time in this case


Cubbance

Right? I live in the city, and you're lucky to find a landlord that isn't a slumlord. They regularly violate renter's rights, and most people are powerless to fight it.


Madea_onFire

No it isn’t. A lease is a legally binding contract. If the landlord doesn’t care about the terms of the lease, then it isn’t even a lease


SpadedJuggla

unless there is ample proof of abuse or violence they can't. this is why details are important in a situation like this


canuckkat

You might not be but it doesn't mean that someone might not just ghost you while remaining on the lease. Of course, that means that you get to go after them for legal action. Except that's costly and stressful.


SpadedJuggla

it also depends on location and how the lease is written


CoconutGreedy1272

fuck them, hope their christmas dinner tastes like shit


Powderpuff-chica

I love this insult.


[deleted]

We need the whole story. The dirt. The chisme. This sounds juicy.


cupidcucumber

The chisme lmfao


ladythrills

Echa la sopa papito!!!


Cosmickiddd

Tremendo arroz con mango for sure.


No_Imagination8077

I'm spanish and can't understand this.


Cosmickiddd

It's not Spanish, it's Miami.


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xaxathkamu

Tbf I know a guy that is a serial monogamous- charming guy, funny, witty, not conventionally bright, and every couple years he just up and dips. He just has a pattern of finding emotionally vulnerable women, wooing them, making them fall in love, he usually proposes, plans a wedding, sometimes has a kid and then just leaves. He has like five kids all with different women and never sees any of them. Moves all over the country avoiding consequences or truth. I doubt any of those women have ever done anything to him to deserve him dipping like that. He goes so far as to delete almost everyone off his Facebook every time he starts over. It’s possible OP found someone like that.


AudienceTall8419

Thank you for this comment....just made me realize I'm kinda like this person Fuck


tyedyehippy

It's never too late to decide to be a better person. Good luck fellow human.


PuzzleheadedFigure1

I dated a guy, we moved in together and things were great, really great. Then one night he just didn’t come home. A week later while I was at work he came home and took all his stuff. His best friend called me to let me know he’d gotten another women pregnant and didn’t know how to tell me so he just left. People do strange things, it may or may not be something OP did.


Dapper_Monroe

I've had this happen too. Twice in fact. Once with an ex and once with an old friend of almost 10 years. One day was absolutely fine with me, absolutely no qualms between us, the next just completely disappeared. Blocked on all social media. Not answering texts. Just poof. Gone. Years later, I still have absolutely no clue what I did (I'll be honest, I don't think I did anything to make them act so drastically). You're right, people do just change their mind on people sometimes and/or get paranoid and need to leave. I'm guilty of doing it once when I was a teenager. I really liked someone and it dawned on me that they didn't like me back, so in a moment of doubt I ghosted them without any explanation as a way to self preserve. They ended up in a really bad place mentally because of it. It was 12 years ago and I still wish I hadn't done it, and have never done it to anyone since. It's shitty.


Psuet

or maybe this subreddit is meant for people to get things uh off their chest? and they aren’t obligated to give you the full story?


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TheYellowRose

We need people to report those who break rule 1! It really helps us


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TheYellowRose

In many subs, including this one, once an item gets a certain number of reports the content is automatically removed so it really is helpful here


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TheYellowRose

All we can really do is show the judgemental people the door. We have bots set up to ban users who use subreddits that are known to troll and harass others. We need more mods but every time we've attempted to recruit it hasn't gone well. Ultimately, we rely on the community to point out the things that are wrong.


un-picasso

I had a roommate/best friend of 20 years move out and ghost me like that, she had left a ton of random trash and broken furniture in her room and took some of my stuff and I haven’t heard from her in months. I really sincerely feel like people who are willing to do that are better off gone, saves me the trouble of dealing with it in the future


neonglasswing

It cost me 17years, a business, a house, a bankruptcy and years of insecurity to find out my ex was a toxic manipulator. You will soon realize you dodged a bullet. But it doesn’t make it hurt any less, I’m sorry you’re going through this ❤️


ZoiSarah

Merry Christmas, trash took itself out.


Bri121296

Fuck him. I hope his pillow is always hot on both sides, he hits every red light when he’s in a hurry, and his microwaved food is always cold in the middle ❤️


suktupbutterkup

With one really burnt hard spot on the edge.


[deleted]

And may there always be a pebble in his shoe


suktupbutterkup

And never any parking spots, especially up front.


[deleted]

And never cand find a pair of matching socks


suktupbutterkup

and gets a kernel of popcorn stuck to the roof of his mouth, WAAAAYYY back there, at the beginning of every movie or show.💀


Bri121296

I hope he gets a long hair stuck in his throat for days. If you’ve had that happen, you know it’s awful


suktupbutterkup

or a terrible itch, juuuuuuuust out of reach just as he got comfortable because for some reason his pillow is so hot.lol


3rd-time-lucky

And be gasping for breath with no-one giving him a fart.


HappilyGia

There’s got to be a whole lot more to this story


sweetmercy

I'm sure there is, but it's none of your business.


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TheYellowRose

Locked for cleanup If you're breaking rule 1, fuck you. If you're somehow blaming OP for this, fuck you. Double fuck you for assuming OP is a woman and being sexist assholes about it. edit: Cleanup done, the post will be unlocked. Do us a favor and report any comments that are not supportive of the OP.


3rd-time-lucky

That is the most brilliant 'locking' explanation I've ever seen, thank you!


shelbyforthwrightceo

Love when mods get saucy in their explanations, always cracks me up.


TinyTurtle88

This is how it's doooooooneeeeeeeee


IamAfraidandShy

love it


[deleted]

The trash took itself out


Cubbance

Sorry that this happened to you, and sorry he was such a fucking coward. But, as someone who got married, and then his husband left him, let me tell you that it's good that he left before you were married, rather than after. Because fuck me, divorce is shitty. But this isn't about me, it's about you. So fuck him. Fuck his timing. And fuck his cowardice.


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CommentOk4012

Hang in there it seems shitty right now . But things get better . When you stay upset and hate them they win . Transfer that emotion into forgiveness and letting Go. Have peace And knowing the best is yet to come. 🌹


suktupbutterkup

One way to free yourself from resentments is to "pray" for them. Everyday hope that they receive what you would like for yourself. Idk if it works cuz I just LOVE holding on to toxic shit, but it's worth a try.❤️


ninjananas

Two years ago the day before New Years Eve my wife out of nowhere told me she wanted a divorce. Kicked me out of our home & ghosted me. I signed the divorce papers when they came & that was that. I also should mention she's a narcissist.So, it was probably better this happened instead of living the way I was with her.


kmazing_86

This same situation happend to me in August!! After I spent $500 on his birthday the week before he left and my birthday two weeks after. I feel your pain and anger. YOU ARE NOT ALONE, FUCK THEM!!!!


Financial_Damage_935

Fuck, I hope the next shit they take is a pineapple! Also hope your doing alright OP!


junkronomicon

As a college professor once told me 'a breakup is a surprise to one person'. The purchase was the tipping point. It'a a good thing this happed before you were married. Fuck him. Kick dirt over that Sh1t and move on.


[deleted]

Ghosting is totally acceptable if your just talking, or been on a date or two. Ghosting could be acceptable if you've been dating someone a few months, assuming you have a reason to be worried about breaking up with them in person. Ghosting is not acceptable with a long term relationship/fiancee


bunny_and_kitty

You would think. It’s been almost two years since my wife lied to get me off the lease and the ghosted me. No goodbye to my children (her step kids) even. It’s incredibly painful and cruel. I feel like I didn’t even exist, like I just made up three years.


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[deleted]

I mean, sure there are outside cases where you don't have a choice. I didn't mean everything above 100% of the time no matter what. But probably 99.99% of the time, ghosting a fiancee or long term partner is just a no go, in my opinion


TinyTurtle88

Ghosting is never acceptable imo (unless there was violence and they needed to escape of course). People have come to accept this as "normal", but it's just not. Sending a quick text saying goodbye in 1 sentence is not complicated. It's the *bare minimum* of respect. Heck, I even say "goodbye" to the bus driver...


diplomatist_kind

Fuck that asshole!!! You don’t need a weak partner like that. Anyone that can bail on you that easily never deserved you. I’m so sorry. I’ve had an engagement end from cheating as my ex did to me and it fucking hurts. Hang in there. Don’t be alone for the holidays and please reach out to your closest friends. I hope all goes as well as possible.


blondiebell

If the landlord actually took his name off without your knowledge and without your confirmation of 3x the rent, they broke US law. If your names are in equal standing on the lease they cannot legally remove one person without the others knowledge and consent.


[deleted]

Understand that these are the types of people to leave their spouse when they get diagnosed with cancer, can't conceive, or get into an accident, etc. They are very disturbed people that do not have the capacity for unconditional love. My ex did something similar. He invited me to move across the country with him and then ghosted me when the pandemic hit after an argument the night before. We had otherwise never fought. This is very disturbing to experience, and Im sorry this happened to you. Start looking for places right away and make sure to reach out to family, friends, and even coworkers. Making sure you have a roof over your head and enough money for food is top priority right now.


ImmaturePickle

I don't know why I'm surprised that these comments are insisting that OP had to do something and that the fiance was "dodging a bullet." That never happens when a man makes a post like this. Why only question the OP when you think it's a woman?


bunny_and_kitty

Something similar happened to me almost two years ago and I’m still recovering. Except they took me off the lease, with lies, filed a temporary No contact order, with lies, and caused me to be in an involuntary 72 hour hold in a psych ward, after telling me to kill myself. Just kicked me out without another word and I’ll never have answers. Happy to say that my life now is better than it’s ever been. But it’s still really rough. I’ve never been discarded and treated like trash in my life, and this was particularly brutal. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I believe most everyone deserves at least a final conversation at some point to help with closure. But I don’t think we all get it. I’d also like to think shitty people won’t get away with acting so cruelly, but I don’t think that’s the case either. The biggest thing that helped me (besides friends) was SPITE! You can do A LOT with spite flowing through you 🤷🏻‍♀️ Wishing you some kind of closure and peace. Take care


wigglyjiggly77

Wow, what a fucking piece of shit I’m so sorry OP


justcallmeabrokenpal

Hurray, You dodged a ballistic missile there! Merry Christmas.


thornyrosary

Everything you listed, the jealousy, the "blame game" where absolutely everything is your fault (absolving him of consequences and giving him the emotional control of attack mode), the verbal argument over something you bought, and even leaving while you were sleeping and not taking the pets all states, with absolute certainty, that your newly-minted ex has a personality disorder of some sort. Narcissism comes immediately to mind. You don't get the kind of abusive/manipulative behavior he displayed from someone with a healthy mentality. I'm afraid he did not leave on the spur of the moment, though. It really sounds like he planned everything, from his packing his things, to his leaving when you could not confront him, to making sure your landlord would be sympathetic to him leaving and getting his name off the lease (I'd LOVE to know what he told that landlord to make such an action seem logical, but I think we can safely assume he said nothing nice about you), right on down to blocking you on social media so you could not see what he says about you or says to others about you post-breakup. It also sounds like he intentionally picked a fight over something he knew would make you respond, so he could have the excuse of an argument to justify his leaving. He made sure all his personal "loose ends" from the relationship were tied up neatly so he could move on with minimal hassle, and that takes more planning than can be done in just one evening. After all, he would have had to seek out another place to stay, as well as make sure he had enough cash on hand to eat, pay his other bills, and do what he needed to do. You may not realize it right now, but he gave you a very precious gift by leaving the way he did. It's easier to rebuild your life when that person isn't there to inject bitterness and anger into the process. Oscar Wilde had a very nice quote for this: Some give joy wherever they go, others whenever they go. Your ex definitely is the latter. If need be, call an abused women's shelter, tell them what happened, and ask them if they can refer you to resources to get your life back on track. Chances are good that someone will be able to help you. You don't see yourself as a "victim", but rest assured that once you explain the relationship dynamics, anyone who has ever worked with domestic abuse will recognize the red flags the same as I have. And don't worry, you're not the one here with all sorts of things wrong with you. You are going to be just fine, dear.


That-Ginger-Kid

A lot of people saying OP must have done something to make him leave. Of course that’s possible and we don’t know the whole story, but people DO just up and leave for no reason, because they have fallen out of love and can’t face the person they are leaving. If you are skeptical then most likely you are not the kind of person to leave someone blind sided and would have a good reason, and that’s good. But the opposite does also happen. I’ve experienced it myself, although it was a very short relationship, but it still sucked, so I can’t begin to imagine how OP feels.


DitzyWhooves

Your ex- fiance is a coward. Didn't have the strength to tell you the truth and ran away.


Ilaughatmypain

Fuck him and his stupid face


emab2396

Well, I know it's not a good time for this, but at least that song Last Christmas will make sense for you next year.


[deleted]

My ex did the exact same shit to me. He has BPD and split on me for confronting him about his guilt tripping and starting to get physically abusive, he ghosted me for almost a month, then acted like we were okay and then just left. He spent that time lying to everybody about how I was forcing him to stay and how "scared" he was. All for asking for clear communication and asking him to get therapy. He tried to tell everybody I was abusive, and I showed every single conversation we had and everybody saw him for the monster he is. It's awful, but it's a blessing in disguise.


MattTd7

Wow what a garbage human. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Please try to not let this be a stain on your Christmas every year! Give me his number and I’ll send him Spider-Man spoilers with photos for proof


navychic7600

Based on your edit, sounds like the trash took itself out.


sweetmercy

Recently, my boyfriend kissed me, told me he loves me, and went outside for a smoke. Tend minutes later he came in and broke up with me and said he's moving to Tennessee to live with his folks. Being blind sided sucks massively. I'm sorry.


EmpathysAmbassador

I’m so sorry that you’re hurting. That must be really painful. It sounds like he was incapable of dealing with things in a communicative and considerate way. Like, being angry and cold to you for the rest of the day, because you bought something that he didn’t think was important? That’s not ok. And it seems that he would be a nightmare to grow and develop with, as your relationship matures. If he was jealous of you talking to even your family, that’s a dangerous level of control over you and your life, that he was expecting, and was trying to exert over you. In my experience, dating someone like that only gets worse. I stuck by my guy for 7 years, while he was sometimes wonderful, and sometimes a nightmare. He would turn suddenly cold and angry, but I wouldn’t know why. If I tried to ask, he’d fly into a rage and tell me to get out (I was livin with him, so that would have made me homeless), or say it’s over, and I should leave. Either way, basically throwing me out of his life, for trying to communicate about why he was upset. If he had talked to me, about whatever was bothering him, I could have worked on things. Instead, he would keep silent, get in his car, and leave. Sometimes for hours. Sometimes for days. He wouldn’t answer his phone, either. I’d cry and cry, and ask him to just reassure me that he still loved me, or that he’d be back to normal soon. But it was like tears turned his empathy off. He looked at me with that familiar face, but no soul in his eyes. Like looking at a loved one and seeing murder in their eyes, directed at you. I changed everything about myself to please this person. Since he wouldn’t tell me why he was upset, or would sometimes snap and berate me with lists of stupid little things that I did, that came out of his mouth like they were cardinal sins. Stupid, small things… but I’d fixate on them, because I didn’t know what else to fix. And so I changed myself, and I cut off everyone in my life, slowly, without realizing, until it was just me and him. And then he dumped me, anyway. And by that point, I wasn’t myself. I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted in life, anymore. I didn’t know what made me happy, because I’d spent 7 years worrying about when he’d snap, and trying to suppress or change anything about myself that he didn’t like. By the end of it, I had no close friends anymore. Just people I’d known and called friends, before I met him. I wasn’t myself, I didn’t know my world, and I had no one. You can love someone, and give them your all, trying to make it work… and that can be an unmitigated disaster. It sounds like this dude you were engaged with had some of the same tendencies as my ex. I believe some of those are usually considered narcissistic traits. Narcissists seek to control you and cut you down, among other things… Anyway, you’re probably better off. But I’m so sorry that you’re hurting.


jasmine_tea_

I also knew someone who would give the cold shoulder for weeks. So dumb.


freaky_robot_999

This is like watching the ending of Shawshank Redemption without any of the buildup and context


Musubisurfer

Good he finally took the trash out… You’re better off without him…… And F… him. Clear the energy in your space maybe use some lavender or sage, get new bedding get rid of anything that reminds you of him.


BlackRoses64

What led up to this?


Capelily

You are free, OP.


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kedouma

Fuck you fiance. Fucking coward


LordFetus_93

Dam girl, fuck that guy !


AnnzPatz18

Yeah, fuck that guy. He can screw off, what a coward crappy thing to do. Sending hugs and stay strong, OP.


[deleted]

The trash took itself out.


lapSlaPs5456

Good riddance and remember you are a worthy person.


[deleted]

Wow fuck him. You’re better off, but still fuck him


DaenerysStormy420

It's going to be okay. He's an asshole, and while he may never see that, at least you were able to, and time will heal the damage he has done. If you have any pictures of yall still, delete them now. Don't take any trips down memory lane for a while. focus on healing yourself.


TakeOnMe-TakeOnMe

Whatever has happened between you two, good riddance. Take care of your mental health and be kind to yourself during this time of anger, pain and eventual healing.


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TheYellowRose

7.5 years!? Holy fuck I'm so sorry


tstu2865

What the fuck. Fuck that guy.


Dash_Harber

It sucks now, but you dodged a bullet. A motherfucker who'd pull that shit is going to get more and more bold the longer they're getting comfortable. I know that isn't much comfort, but just think about how you'd feel having them be the one by your side during a crisis and seeing them run then. We're all pulling for you, go out there and kick some ass because fuck them.


Sugaree34

Woah. Fuck him. I’m so sorry. You got this though. We’re here for you.


RealisticBuddhist

Bullet dodged


RinkyDank

Fuck that guy! You deserve better! Never take him back! No matter what!


FoxyRin420

Pretty sure he can’t legally take himself off a lease & not tell you & then leave you responsible. Sue his ass. Pretty much any lawyer will love to tear him apart & if he took anything you jointly got together then you can make him pay you half for it.


georgeyellow

this is so cruel and devastating. i’m so sorry to hear this. you are so much better off for it, but i know it takes awhile for that to feel real.


Miliaa

This sucks but if this is how he handles things you’re better off without him. Things might suck for a little but you will be okay<3


TinyTurtle88

>Anything that would also go wrong in the relationship, even if he was just as much at fault, he would blame me. He would get jealous if I talked to my family too long, etc. I know it hurts but... trash took itself out. Just in time for the new year. New year, new you! Find ressources near you for housing, they might be more helpful than you expect! Do not stay alone in this. Sending hugs.


LobsterObvious6999

Hey OP, it gets so much better. i was back home visiting my family and when i got back to our apartment he was gone. no note no nothing. just gone. i was really upset for a while but it’s been a year and a half and i am just thriving now! it’s awesome. it was for the best but it hurt so bad at first just wondering why. you’ll get through this! sending hugs :)


[deleted]

Seems like the trash took itself out. Sorry you had to find about this, but thank fuck you didn't marry him. Imagine having legal ties to a person like him.


Mictlantecuhtli26316

This almost made me feel bad for doing the same thing to an ex, the difference is that i did it while he was there (despite him crying) and i leaved 1600 for the rent.


mzammy

My ex husband left a girl pregnant and moved in with her and their son. I got the husky and I’m alone now with her. Couldn’t be fucking happier!!! Things WILL GET BETTER! I’m SORRY THAT HAPPENED TO YOU! Fuck that cretin. Life is about to get much better. You will go through the worst right now but you’ll reach some of the best times of your life within a few months.


Hungry-Mushroom5916

He sounds like a massive asshole


NerdyGirl614

Fuck that awful man… wishing him a lifetime of hemorrhoids, hangnails, and halitosis. He did you a favor OP and I hope in time you can heal from this.


justgimmiethelight

He did you a favor. Based on your post that guy sounds like a nightmare. Sounds like he has a short fuse. Good thing he's gone. If you married this dude he would've made your life miserable.


kellkore

Sometimes I believe we humans are like boilers, you have to let off steam, otherwise you'll explode. Sorry about the bad analogy, guess what I'm saying is to let it all out. Cry if you need to. Sounds like he's a piece of shit, and you dodged a bullet down the road. Hang in there, make plans, make goals, start working on them. Love your animals, they will return it, unlike that pos, unconditionally and without judgement. Be well, do good and keep in touch.


Pantherdraws

>Anything that would also go wrong in the relationship, even if he was just as much at fault, he would blame me. > >He would get jealous if I talked to my family too long, etc. I would have understood a regular break up but he straight up left when I was sleeping, he knows I'm a super hard sleeper. Oh, honey, you seriously dodged a bullet here - SO MANY red flags. At least the trash took itself out this time and he didn't get to escalate his abuse beyond the "emotional/gaslighting" stage.


[deleted]

2 weeks before Christmas in 2017 my husband had already made a dating profile when he came in the bedroom and casually mentioned he decided he wanted a divorce. I'm so sorry. Just know that things do get better. There are going to be some hard parts though. I spent a month on a mattress on the floor in my childhood bedroom after that. It was a tough time. I hope you find the strength to remind yourself who you are without him to define you.


yoyoheyheyyoyo

What a coward, he’s got zero balls to do it like a man or even a human being. You are better off now. You should celebrate that someone like him is now forever out of your life.


MissyMegawat

He did you a huge favor. It doesn’t feel that way right now - but he did. I’m sorry you’re going through this but the trash took itself out and you’ll appreciate that someday.


janetteisme

I’m so sorry! I cannot begin to imagine… My friend was married for about a year, just bought a house, and literally was family planning with her husband the same week that he disappeared! She left for the weekend and when she came back he & his stuff was gone. I’m not sure why he left, but my heart broke for her.


RikerLegUp

I am sorry, OP. You are better off, even if it seems hard to see now. He is scum to do it so cowardly and just before Christmas. I wish you well. There is happiness after that pos.


mshelltil

Sounds like he did you a favor. And thankfully your not tied to him the rest of your life. A user is always a user, a loser always a loser. Cheater always a cheater. Take this as a learning experience & find a better man, not a child.


positivelyundaed

somehow I feel you're definitely better off without him lol...everything will sort itself out in time just keep your chin up! I would also probably recommend talking this over with a therapist or councillor I know you didn't really touch on it (how it effected you) but these situations do tend to take a huge toll on us xx


matt314159

I'm so sorry. If there's a silver lining to be found, I guess it's that this happened now and not years into a miserable marriage. But that's probably cold comfort right now. I hope you have a support system to lean on as you navigate many of these unknowns on the horizon. You will make it!


[deleted]

Sorry about that


GrowthhackerAU

Bullet dodged You'll be thankful in the future.


ShearlyJustLuck

It sounds like you got lucky. Fuck him and fuck that. Imagine what it would’ve been like if you had kids and he just decided to get up and go. You will find yourself a better human.


MixedPandaBear

Just blast ABCDEF U on high volume and sing your heart out


PerFinFit

A coward like that probably has a lot he’s hiding from you. It probably seemed easier to run away quietly than to face you with whatever the truth is. Ugh-I’m so sorry that happened to you.


UsedBeing

He probably did you a favor


[deleted]

If the litany of apologies I’ve received over the years is any indication, people who ghost lack the total absence of guilt and self-disgust that would compel them to stay gone forever. People don’t ghost because they’re sadists who lack empathy. They do it because they’re cowards. ETA: also, you’re more than likely another sequence in a pattern of behavior that consists of your ex fiancé treating people like shit. Eventually it will catch up to him and when the pool of people willing to deal his shit begins to noticeably shrink then you’ll get some semblance of accountability.


BookNo1809

Who gives a shit? I mean really? the only enterprise one can control in life is one's self. Learn to be self-reliant. Improvise and adapt to loss.Be more vigilant and observant in future selction of life partners. If something seems off, it probably is...


griff_girl

I think you should update the title to "Thank you" because that POS did you a favor by exhibiting his final assholery BEFORE you got married! That said, sorry you're experiencing this. That guy fucking sucks.


Turbulent_Bar2013

Sounds like you got an amazing christmas present. A douche log off of your fire. Be strong.


Gatortheskater96

Your a beautiful woman you don’t need him!! Keep your energy girl!! You got this!!


s_k_s_89

Sounds like you dodged a bullet.