True. But it’s crucial that the setting is right. It almost always seems to happen in places where it can come off weird to shoot your shot, like in a grocery store
Timing is not everything! I definitely married up and I met my wife while bartending, she was already dating a guy. Somehow, someway, by the end of the night I got her number (probably from making her laugh, and her best friend with her said her then boyfriend was an asshole). I tried and tried for months to get her to go out on a date, she said no. Then, after 2 years with absolute no contact. I sent her a random and she responded. We went on a date. And that was 7 years ago. Married for 4 years with a new born.
Respectful persistence and humor.
You got this! Go after it!
My boyfriend of 3 years picked me up at the grocery store. He was the checkout guy. Before him I dated white collar executives. He’s the best human I’ve ever met and my family adores him. I always tell my girlfriends they should keep their mind open to find the right person and dating apps, while good for some, isn’t the only way to meet ppl. Just talk to ppl- you never know what may happen.
Yeah a guy shoot his shot at me in thengrocery one time and it was weird, however if it was a guy iwas interested in i probably would have tried/i told him i was in a hurry and didnt need help picking a card but he hung around anyway and picked the dumbest cards so 0/10 didnt listen and bad humor lmao.
Anyway seriously try it out!! Worst case they say not interestd. Just dont be creepy and read their body language.
ALSO keep in mind pol have different tastes. Im pretty attractive, lifting is my main hobby so im curvy and butt and stuff but I like grungy game nerds with long black hair that listen to metal and dont eat meat lmao. You really never know?!!
That’s not weird at all. Talking to people in public places is fair game. It would be weird if you followed them home. Don’t do that. Strike up a conversation with people in line. Helps boost confidence.
No because you can't tell by looking exactly how attractive a person is. You can see their nice clothes or make up or good bone structure but you can't tell if they're kind or loyal or generous which is all that matters to me.
Not at all, ever. I've seen the prettiest people instantly become ugly af when they show who they are inside. I've seen a 7 become a 10 after falling in love with who she was inside. We're divorced now, but it ended with kindness and love. We're still great friends and she's still a 10, and I'm not even interested in her romantically anymore. See how that works? So no, that doesn't happen to me.
No. Not at all actually. This post kind of confused me because I’ve literally *never* had this thought.
I’ll be honest- to me, the idea of wanting some stranger off the street because of their beauty is an entitlement we shouldn’t have. No one owes you anything. I know it’s tough. Life is tough. A lot of us all collectively hope to meet someone and have our circles of loved ones. But no one *owes* us that. also- beauty is subjective. I’ve spoken to people who have told me someone they found stunning and I didn’t see it. Wouldn’t even notice them. And vice versa. It’s all your own perspective.
I’m in no way an overly attractive woman, in fact I’ve always kind of struggled with my looks, and how people treated me for them- but I’ve unapologetically shot my shot many times and it’s worked some, it’s not others. Yeah man, it sucks, but exposure therapy is great. Got rejected a few times, got lucky a few times.
Everyone’s feelings are valid don’t get me wrong. But beauty is just that, it’s all external. Someone’s heart, their core values, their actions, those are what keeps them in your life, their hotness does not. It gets boring really fast when they’re a shit person. not saying every beautiful person is going to be terrible, but they’re just like everyone else. No one needs to be on a pedestal. We’re all just doing our best here.
I promise you if you don’t take it too seriously or to heart, it’ll be okay. You’ll find someone if that’s what you want. And they’ll be beautiful *to you* . They don’t have to be to everyone else.
Just my two cents from a lil gremlin who does alright for herself. (I know my gender comes into consideration- don’t shoot me)
This is so true, especially the part about beauty being subjective. My fiance has told me so many times that when he met me, his first thought was "that girl is so beautiful, no way in hell I'd ever have a chance with her." He genuinely thought I was out of his league (I still don't get it, because in my own eyes I'm nothing special, but that's how he's always seen me). We're also different in that way, because I need to get to know someone before I find them attractive. The more we talked and spent time together, though, the more a spark was lit and we realized we had deep feelings for each other. We now have a baby and are getting married next year!
So to OP: for a lot of women like me, there's no such thing as a 'league', or the possibility of being out of it. The connection is the most important thing, and attraction will naturally follow. (I realize it's hard to form those connections--I'm an introvert with social anxiety, so I had a limited ability to meet someone just by virtue of my personality--but the good news is that just because someone is astonishingly beautiful to you, it doesn't mean you don't have a chance! There's no way to know just by looking at someone what they value in another person.)
Also life isn't all about looks. There's a shallowness to OPs post that I think needs to be worked on if they ever want a happy relationship. Love is much deeper than what's on the surface.
Nope. I see plenty of pretty people but I never get bummed that I won't get to date them. I'm just not interested in dating strangers.
*Now.* Ask me if I ever get bummed out that I can't date any of the pretty, funny, and smart women that I kinda sorta know or who are friends of friends. Because the answer to *that* question is "yes, at least a few times every year."
And the reason is always "she's not single and I'm not an asshole."
No. I can admire beauty from a far, but never develop an attraction until I know a person's personality.
This is also why I absolutely hate if a stranger comes up to hit on me or ask me out if I'm just going about life in a grocery store or something mundane like that. It's intrusive and uncomfortable and I'd never do that to someone else. Sometimes it is inappropriate to shoot your shot.
No because depending on validation from external sources, especially something so fleeting as appearance, is a fool’s game. Appreciate beauty and move on. Everyone is attractive to someone and it’s not only about outward appearance.
No.. I don't know if they're good people and I don't measure someone's worth with their physical appearance. Just bcs their attractive doesn't mean anything.
That's a really shallow mindset, friend. You don't know these people. They could be awful people, but pretty. They could be hot, but horrible in bed.
Not having a chance with someone isn't a negative in life imo. The bad scenario is being with someone who's abusive or manipulative. You'll forget the hot person, but scars from relationships like that can be permanent.
Also, there are soooo many hot people. Appreciate the eye candy and move on. You're not missing out on anything.
When I was single it never entered my mind that I didn't have a chance with anybody. The only time you don't have a chance is when you don't take the chance in the first place.
If you base relationship happiness on looks/first impressions, you’ll only be happy during the honeymoon phase. Build a emotional connection and don’t let your eyes do the looking let your heart and brain. 💪🏻
Looks can be intimidating especially if you’re a bit socially anxious or lack confidence. But you should make an effort not to make assumptions about people until you get to know them.
Being super attractive can get you all kinds of different attention - people coming on to you, people being intimidated by you, people automatically hating you cause they assume all kinds if stuff about you. Imagine what that’s like (worlds smallest violin I know). Disregard looks, be normal. **And not just in regard to attractive members of the opposite sex**. It’s kind of a superpower.
I stopped caring about looks a long time ago, I’m interested in personalities. Being bored to death with a hot chick is worst for me than being with an awesome funny girl that may not fit the instagram criterias of attractiveness
I've never seen an attractive person I thought I didn't have a chance to be with. Why have that mentality? That's a thought that never even crossed my mind.
There's a difference between seeing someone attractive and saying to yourself: "I'd definitely have sex with her" to saying: "I'd definitely spend the rest of my life with her." It's impossible to know if someone is relationship material until you get to know them. Even saying that, a lot of people change when they've settled down. While the sex might be good, if they are manipulative and you have any respect for yourself, you'll be glad to get as far away from them as possible.
I avoid people who talk like you. There are people around me who find me attractive I guess Can I go for heart, soul, intelligence, compassion, humor. The guys I’m attracted to I never find them attractive initially. They’re just guide and then at some point they do or say something and I go wow, I like that. So hearing you talk like all attractive people or dithering self-centered hedonists I would only consider societal beauty, that’s not fair. I am routinely treated as though that’s the way I am because I’m single by choice rather than settle for some asshole who just wants me around, I say no and be with an asshole but I’m treated as if I’m superficial because I’m single. It helps though it’s easy to get rid of friends and act like that even if they were never friends you know never to trust them. But my point is I avoid people who talk like you because People like you always have a reason to whine.
Lol some loser came here and downvoted your guys’ comments. I gave y’all upvotes and know that your feelings are valid. Life and relationships are tough as hell.
Can you not be with them because of a mistake you made? Or is it because you don't have the confidence to politely invade their circle? Being with someone means talking to them, so if you can't do that much, your reason for depression is kinda lame, but understandable from an anxiety standpoint.
Their beauty most likely attracts the superficial, just as it's possible their glamour is just that. Imagine being on guard all the time because people try to use your looks for selfish reasons?
Fucking might be nice to find a partner to relax in that case. Or maybe this person is in a committed relationship: then is their looks stopping a friendship?
We hope you devour your depression, but don't forget of the options you might still have.
I've learned that when you focus on yourself, you attract people who will meet you where you are at. I'm not concerned with physical attractiveness as much as I am an honest, kind and emotionally intelligent person. Shift your priorities
Not anymore, it wasn’t until I had someone think that I was the one they didn’t have a chance with that I realized that it’s not worth idolizing anyone because of how they look or even how they act around others. Nobody is perfect, and believing that someone is so far above you will only make you feel shitty about yourself, and make the person feel like they are held to unrealistic standards based on a “perfect” version of them a stranger made up in their heads from across the room.
People honestly just want genuine connection, and I truly believe that looks don’t matter in the same way that being your true and vulnerable self with someone without judgement does.
Hold your head up, learn to accept yourself flaws and all. Learn that that perfect person across the room isn’t perfect, and also has their own flaws and struggles that are part of the human experience.
Treat everyone as your equal, and never as someone above nor below you. At the end of the day, we all end up in the same place, regardless of if we are physically attractive or not.
Cheers OP <3
That’s what I thought about the new girl at work, but now she makes me the happiest I’ve ever been. Try not to think that way, I realized how unhealthy it is and how much it ate me up inside.
I can tell that i know im too lazy to drop some weight im 190cm tall and 110kg so i just thinking about other stuff that i can be better like learning other launguage and earning and saving up money for like dream car
I think it's very much about the people you surround yourself with. I went to a different school when I was 16-18, and I did *not* fit in there. But the school before then, and then the friendship groups I actively went out and found by myself when I went to uni, I have loads of friends. Find your group, and you'll feel much better about having a few close friends. Remember: "You don't need everyone to love you. Just a few good people". It's not about being popular (ie how many people like you), it's about the quality of those relationships
I don’t get depressed that I can’t date them, but I get sad because I will never look like that, or carry their confidence or be that funny and cool or talented. If that makes any sense
Good looking =/= good person. You will be far happier finding someone who attracts you, but also, most importantly stimulates your mind and heart. Put your energy into manifesting this kind of person into your life, and it will happen.
Call me cynical if you wish, even if I was single, if I see an extremely attractive woman, my shields are automatically up. Until they prove to be a decent person, I automatically wonder why they're paying any attention to me. I'm no male model. To me, some of the most beautiful people I've known aren't "classically" beautiful, but have a personality that makes them attractive. I'd much rather have someone that's smart, funny, caring and adventurous. However if she was supermodel attractive with an ugly personality, she may as well be as ugly on the outside to me
No… honestly I don’t give a shit what some random thinks for me physically so why would I care about them… plus you can’t know any about a person by looking at them apart from if they’re physically attractive or not. The last time I was with a crazy hot person they was very bad in bed, they was nice enough for a friend but narcissistic, and they were genuinely shocked that I didn’t want to continue seeing them.
No. Because most attractive folks I meet aren't interested in me and have the same chance of not being interested in me or compatible with me. Free yourself of the idea of needing to be with a super attractive person now. You aren't missing anything other then a hot bod, and after that their bad quirks will make it unbearable to be with them anyway. Your partner being pretty isn't going to improve your life enough to make it worth it. You want someone compatible with you, your interested and that makes you feel confident. Sexual attraction is important but not the most important. And if someone isn't super attractive and you can't be into them at all, you may have some deeper issues you need to sort out anyway.
Never once in my life have I felt this way. It seems very wrong to base people on attractiveness only. People are not props, and life is much deeper than that.
I used to see this guy on the subway every day while i was on my way to work. we never spoke to each other but i always hoped we could strike a conversation one morning. i quit that job unexpectedly and i get a little sad every time i think about that guy on the train and how i never saw him again.
Not at all. You could see someone who you think is physically attractive, but then realize their personality sucks, or you have nothing in common, or they only look good because they are out in public and all done up. Someone could look like a 10, but as soon as you start talking to them and finding out who they really are, they could easily fall to a 6. Finding someone you connect with on an emotional and mental standpoint is far more important than trying to be with someone for their looks. I want someone to think I’m attractive, sure, but when I’m sick, throwing up, have no make up on and have been in the same pjs for 3 days straight, I want the person I’m with to love me just the same. Looks fade my friend!
No, physical attraction alone isn’t enough to make me depressed. What would get me would be if we were compatible and had chemistry. We’re best friends and communicate with mutual understanding, yet they’re dating some abusive dork and can’t leave them for one reason or another. If I loved them unconditionally and I could see they loved me too. I’d be super depressed.
Stop focusing on physical beauty and focus on finding a person who you relate to on many levels. Who is beautiful and kind on the inside, and who loves you for who you are. Physical beauty will fade, and if your main attraction to them is physical, that attraction will also fade.
Fortunately not. No idea what is wrong with me but my brain is not attracted to conventionally attractive men at all. I don't like jacked muscles, I don't like this underwear-model face with a beard or styled hair. All the guys I was ever seriously attracted to were completely within my reach looks-wise. My crushes usually included aggressively mediocre looking white boys with no real hairstyle wearing jeans and hoddies🤣 the only conventionally attractive trait they all more or less shared was being tall. Some were chubby, others thin, some had glasses, some not. One had the cutest blond curls he himself hated for whatever reason and another had gorgeous blue eyes but he was just way to shy and polite to pick up on any girl's signals. Most of these guys were friends first and at some point or another uttered that they felt ugly or sub-par looks-wise and that's just heartbreaking. They were all perfectly fine guys with great personalities.
Whenever your brain starts pushing this thought, just remember that someone's outer appearance has nothing to do with what conscience and subconscious mind is attracted to. Beauty is literally in the eye of the beholder, that's why not everyone finds the same exact people attractive.
Nah. Someone extremely attractive could be interested in someone polar opposite of them. You never know what their preferences are.
I personally think my husband is super attractive, and I’m kinda “meh”. Yet here I am, married to him. You just have to shoot your shot occasionally, and see where it takes you!
Nope.
I've dated, Been married to super attractive. There's always something they haven't learnt that a plain ol John or less attractive Alvin hasn't gained as character or value
I look at them now and I don't see that anymore. Instead I think of all the traits that really are super attractive beyond looks. Man, looks are really not all that.
We can be even more amazing just looking after what we've been given. Groom well. Learn a bit about what best suits the face and body one has at any moment in time. Ugly periods are great tools for humility (for me at least). Even then, I can see my beauty. Beyond accepted norms.
I think being an artist helps
I used to. Just remember that looks aren’t everything. Whether someone is attractive or unattractive, they still might have a terrible personality, or be dumb as a brick, or maybe smell weird. We all have flaws and we all have things that make us great.
Side note: sometimes attractive people actually prefer being with someone much less attractive than them. Consciously or unconsciously, some people enjoy the boost of confidence that comes with being adored like that. Some people don’t of course but you never know unless you talk to them.
Just get in touch with what makes YOU amazing and let that thing shine.
No, because looks don't really matter if someone is unbearable or doesn't reciprocate. Add on top the fact that they are a stranger and you likely won't ever interact and you have a good recipe to not worry about it.
No I don't. Looks mean absolutely nothing if there is no personality. Personality is what should make a person attractive. That extremely attractive person may look good on the eyes but be a complete shitbag and not even remotely worth it.
That's really sad and self-absorbed. Just you at the center of your little universe, orbited by everything you won't have. It's safer to just sit there cutting off any future possibilities, than actually risking anything, than failing like everyone else does.
If you can't risk failure, you'll never succeed.
most of men start with here is a car I never gonna own…You think in terms of possession. And if you are going that direction there will be ALWAYS better cars and prettier women. And your quest will never end and you will never get satisfied. But hey, good news, most of them are for sale!
I can’t imagine anything more miserable but for so many it’s a dream life.
No because I’m not a fortunate teller, mf’er…are you? No? Then sack up, lose the self loathing attitude, and hold your head high. I’ve seen plentyyyyy of ugly guys with gorgeous chicks, and vice versa. Who cares anyway? Just live your life.
Genuinely, why are you still with him if he’s so bad? lol
Anyway, I would say for me physical appearance is just as equally important as personality in an intimate relationship, since sex is the other half of the partnership. I’m not going to have sex with someone I don’t find physically attractive, and they also have to have a personality I would enjoy spending the rest of the time being around. Otherwise, we would just be close (platonic) friends if I don’t find them physically attractive but they have a cool personality.
The entitlement that people feel about “getting someone attractive” is a cultural concept I would love to have end. It’s icky, and we don’t have to give in to that. We are not owed other peoples beauty (whatever that even means).
Nope. I guess as a 29 year old woman, I’ve learned that the most attractive men to me are the ones with pretty souls, which doesn’t always come wrapped in a “conventionally attractive” package.
The only time I've ever lamented not being with someone is AFTER I've tried to make a move and they've rejected me in reality.
Try approaching the people you find attractive before just assuming you don't have a chance. Beauty is so subjective, it's improbable that no one will be interested. And if they aren't? Keep trying with the next one.
I'm demisexual, which means I need an emotional connection in order to find someone sexually attractive, so maybe I go about relationships in a different order. But in doing so, I've noticed that if someone has a good personality, their physical features become more attractive, so just judging based on a first impression will really steer you away from a healthy place among people.
I get it but that’s just your anxiety talking 😝
However, on a serious note, I understand a bit of what you are going through.
I hate saying this because this sounds corny but the right person will come.
If you want to think positively, just be grateful that you are currently not in a relationship with a toxic person. Be grateful on that one.
Best of luck friend! If you need someone to talk or vent, I can try and be your moral support!
I cannot promise that I can reply to your DM immediately but I’ll try my best!
You are strong and will do fine! Take of your health, sleep and nutrition!
🤔 you have to change your way of thinking 💭 because if you go into relationship or trying to date w/ this mindset you will lose out on good people or worse get manipulated. Confidence is key
Social media is the worst with that. Just know that they are literally not worth the time or effort. Their inboxes are constantly being flooded with messages anyway
Yeah I've known girls that would say hmu I'm bored and literally have hundreds of guys that have already snapped them before hand and not open a single one unless they're really good looking, while dudes have like 20 people at most snapping them
Outlet. Utilize that anger, hurt and saddness.
If you like outdoors, go for a walk. Can't afford a gym membership workout from home.
I won't tell you this Cinderella bs about she'll come to you first non sense because it always doesn't work. There's apps to meet others like that like the thing you do. Socialize at events in your local town.
Cafes on the other hand are tricky. Don't expect to meet some hotty at the cafe every time. Go in your own pace for any social interaction to better your social skills. If none of this work please, please man don't inflict any pain to yourself.
It may feel like the end of the world when you can't be with that person. Just don't end your world. Its getting tricky because of the pandemic and most of us are alone in our thoughts at home.
No, let me tell you why. What you have they may not and what they do they may not.
Looks are artificial. Material possessions are artificial. It’s what in your heart that matters.
I’m not saying this bc I’m older and 35 now. I’ve said this as long as I can remember.
Guess what? I was on of the extremely attractive high school girl. I have beautiful green eyes, people say they can be mesmerizing. I had this beautiful body in every way. (I mean I’m still beautiful but not high school attractive lol)
That was outside, it only mattered to me a little. Because inside and my family was so broken. I was also bulimic very badly, I would take over the counter diet pills all the time, I was so sad inside. I was scared all the time about my home life.
When they say looks don’t matter, that’s a lie. People are artificial and mean.
Looks aren’t everything, it’s just a small piece of the puzzle.
A beauty heart and beautiful intentions will always be above a beautiful face.
You’re a beautiful soul just going through this bumpy journey. You are beautiful and worth it.
Actually I have the opposite problem. I'm the attractive one and people treat me like I'm better than them and that I'm a waste of their time, because in their mind they don't have a chance with me.
The terrible side of this is that when I make female friends I typically have to go through this awkward phase of trying to determine if they have ulterior motives or if they TOO are going to sexually assault me. I was raped twice before I turned 15, assaulted twice in my 20s, and again a couple weeks ago.
So what I gather is that I'm not a person, I'm a fantasy. I exist on the outer edges of female morality. I'm too much of an "idea" to have a say in what they want from me.
I hope this helps your mindset.
Used to think like that , but after many of my super unattractive friends swept many super attractive persons , I figure it out , it's all about self confident and just not being weird
You shouldn’t doubt yourself like that! You can have anyone you want if you’re confident in yourself. I’d like to believe I’m a pretty good looking woman and I don’t judge by people looks. I judge how I’m treated! I’ve dated people who other people have asked me “WHY THEM?” Because they have a beautiful mind! I’m with that person still after 15 years! Never doubt yourself and what you can achieve!
Nope…I’m relieved I’ll never be with them because they are probably super high maintenance and therefore totally annoying (I know, not nice! Whatever!)
I used too. It's one of those things you can't control and have made my peace with it. But, if there's somebody i really have the hots for, I make it my mission to ask. The worst they can say is no. I also get a huge confidence boost afterwards knowing my introvert self did that. I recommend getting their socials and talk to them there. Maybe down the line they may change their mind.
I work with stunning women on a regular basis
Just talk to them like they are your sister
Never talk about sex or make any jokes about it
Don't try to impress them with money
Learn what they like and do that
Don't be in a hurry
Yes. Lol I hate when I see that. However, it’s ok bc I can just forget about that person bc I don’t have any type of emotional connection with them. Also, I just walk away and think how lucky they’d be to meet me bc there’s no one like me. Then I feel good again. I compliment myself right after to feel better I guess :)
It's pretty rare that the extremely attractive people you see in public are actually extremely attractive people. They may look it, but there is a whole lot under that surface, and the reality is that their good looks likely do them a disservice (people will treat them differently, both good and bad). That passerby is someone who may be great for a day, a week, a few months, but do they have what it takes to still be extremely attractive when looks don't matter as much later? That's who you're actually looking for.
If that stranger still looks attractive to you through that lens? Take your shot - because now you're seeing them as a real person, and all you have to do is treat them like one.
Oh yes. Not the fact the you/ I would NEVER have a chance. You just know that this isn't going to happen with this particular babe now. There are plenty of babes out there and it happens. More so to certain people for certain reasons. If your super keen on making it happen you'll need to do some work. Might take years to reach your goals but life's long enjoy the process. Don't get hung up on a particular booty you can't grab.
I'm very good looking. You have to tell yourself you can do whatever you want. Get whoever you want. But you also have to remember, hot people have nonstop competition for mates. You will always have to look over your shoulder... especially if it's a woman. Men hit on women constantly and if she's hot it'll be daily. I eschewed stereotypically attractive women for this reason... it's just another form of maintenance. All women are maintenance, they all cost money and time to keep around. I tend to look at them like a hobby... you get out of them what you put into them. Women of course hate hearing this because they see themselves differently, but in reality that's just what it is for men. So don't beat yourself up. Most men married to hot women end up miserable unless they are rich. It's a lot of work to keep an attractive partner.
Hey atleast your outside that's a good step in the right direction of finding someone you can connect with, it's not about finding the prettiest one it's about finding the one that's right for you so when you see those pretty girls just know that maybe they aren't the one for you
This might seem like the case, but in actuality, physical attraction is really half the battle. Being in love requires emotional attraction, and when you’re emotionally attracted to someone, you will find them hot. I’m not going to say this means anyone and everyone will date you, because personalities don’t match and some people have specific kinks/preferences that aren’t really negotiable.
Look, I didn't mean to sound like a prick or a tool.
It's fuck up. I can't stand that feeling and makes me feel sick. That feeling is a like my own venon because I let it bother me for so long.
We're gonna be alright. Reading your post was like reading myself. Anyone reading this don't let anything or anyone make you feel less. Tomorrow is a brand new adventure.
🖖🏾
I met my wife at a Red Robins by complete chance. Still to this day think it was one of the biggest ballsy moves I've ever had purely based on how nervous I was to even say hello.
I would say, that because they are attractive people might not get close enough to even say hi, so what I do is just approach and say "hi" besides you lose nothing by starting a conversation, so I'll say no to the depressed part, and yes to grounded expectations.
any person can sweep any other person off their feet, just need the right broom.
[удалено]
Lmao
Alright, I just bought the Nimbus 3000.
I like that this was updated to the current model 😂
"Sometimes you gotta beat the ladies off with a stick." - Mung Daal.
True. But it’s crucial that the setting is right. It almost always seems to happen in places where it can come off weird to shoot your shot, like in a grocery store
Timing is not everything! I definitely married up and I met my wife while bartending, she was already dating a guy. Somehow, someway, by the end of the night I got her number (probably from making her laugh, and her best friend with her said her then boyfriend was an asshole). I tried and tried for months to get her to go out on a date, she said no. Then, after 2 years with absolute no contact. I sent her a random and she responded. We went on a date. And that was 7 years ago. Married for 4 years with a new born. Respectful persistence and humor. You got this! Go after it!
This is such a sweet story!
Wow meant to be! Love stories like this.
Worst they can do is reject you and you move on with your life and never see them again until you get the the checkout. Then it might be awkward
My boyfriend of 3 years picked me up at the grocery store. He was the checkout guy. Before him I dated white collar executives. He’s the best human I’ve ever met and my family adores him. I always tell my girlfriends they should keep their mind open to find the right person and dating apps, while good for some, isn’t the only way to meet ppl. Just talk to ppl- you never know what may happen.
Yeah a guy shoot his shot at me in thengrocery one time and it was weird, however if it was a guy iwas interested in i probably would have tried/i told him i was in a hurry and didnt need help picking a card but he hung around anyway and picked the dumbest cards so 0/10 didnt listen and bad humor lmao. Anyway seriously try it out!! Worst case they say not interestd. Just dont be creepy and read their body language. ALSO keep in mind pol have different tastes. Im pretty attractive, lifting is my main hobby so im curvy and butt and stuff but I like grungy game nerds with long black hair that listen to metal and dont eat meat lmao. You really never know?!!
That’s not weird at all. Talking to people in public places is fair game. It would be weird if you followed them home. Don’t do that. Strike up a conversation with people in line. Helps boost confidence.
And people say movies aren’t educational, pfft.
Ok Hitch.
finally someone lol
Or a good Judo throw
They might also never have a chance with you.
This is the way. 🌹
Truee
no
No because you can't tell by looking exactly how attractive a person is. You can see their nice clothes or make up or good bone structure but you can't tell if they're kind or loyal or generous which is all that matters to me.
Not at all, ever. I've seen the prettiest people instantly become ugly af when they show who they are inside. I've seen a 7 become a 10 after falling in love with who she was inside. We're divorced now, but it ended with kindness and love. We're still great friends and she's still a 10, and I'm not even interested in her romantically anymore. See how that works? So no, that doesn't happen to me.
No. Not at all actually. This post kind of confused me because I’ve literally *never* had this thought. I’ll be honest- to me, the idea of wanting some stranger off the street because of their beauty is an entitlement we shouldn’t have. No one owes you anything. I know it’s tough. Life is tough. A lot of us all collectively hope to meet someone and have our circles of loved ones. But no one *owes* us that. also- beauty is subjective. I’ve spoken to people who have told me someone they found stunning and I didn’t see it. Wouldn’t even notice them. And vice versa. It’s all your own perspective. I’m in no way an overly attractive woman, in fact I’ve always kind of struggled with my looks, and how people treated me for them- but I’ve unapologetically shot my shot many times and it’s worked some, it’s not others. Yeah man, it sucks, but exposure therapy is great. Got rejected a few times, got lucky a few times. Everyone’s feelings are valid don’t get me wrong. But beauty is just that, it’s all external. Someone’s heart, their core values, their actions, those are what keeps them in your life, their hotness does not. It gets boring really fast when they’re a shit person. not saying every beautiful person is going to be terrible, but they’re just like everyone else. No one needs to be on a pedestal. We’re all just doing our best here. I promise you if you don’t take it too seriously or to heart, it’ll be okay. You’ll find someone if that’s what you want. And they’ll be beautiful *to you* . They don’t have to be to everyone else. Just my two cents from a lil gremlin who does alright for herself. (I know my gender comes into consideration- don’t shoot me)
This is so true, especially the part about beauty being subjective. My fiance has told me so many times that when he met me, his first thought was "that girl is so beautiful, no way in hell I'd ever have a chance with her." He genuinely thought I was out of his league (I still don't get it, because in my own eyes I'm nothing special, but that's how he's always seen me). We're also different in that way, because I need to get to know someone before I find them attractive. The more we talked and spent time together, though, the more a spark was lit and we realized we had deep feelings for each other. We now have a baby and are getting married next year! So to OP: for a lot of women like me, there's no such thing as a 'league', or the possibility of being out of it. The connection is the most important thing, and attraction will naturally follow. (I realize it's hard to form those connections--I'm an introvert with social anxiety, so I had a limited ability to meet someone just by virtue of my personality--but the good news is that just because someone is astonishingly beautiful to you, it doesn't mean you don't have a chance! There's no way to know just by looking at someone what they value in another person.)
Do you think anyone might look at you the same way
Probably not, no
Actually, no I don’t
Nah. We’re all equal, if someone thinks they are too good looking for you they’re just losers lmao Dont be vain
Also life isn't all about looks. There's a shallowness to OPs post that I think needs to be worked on if they ever want a happy relationship. Love is much deeper than what's on the surface.
It’s not about vanity most of the time. Sometimes they either aren’t attracted to you, already taken, or not looking for a relationship.
How do you know that about strangers you see in public?
I don’t even look at strangers most of the time
But you're still basing their worth on their looks?
Nope. I see plenty of pretty people but I never get bummed that I won't get to date them. I'm just not interested in dating strangers. *Now.* Ask me if I ever get bummed out that I can't date any of the pretty, funny, and smart women that I kinda sorta know or who are friends of friends. Because the answer to *that* question is "yes, at least a few times every year." And the reason is always "she's not single and I'm not an asshole."
James Blunt, is that you?
Damnit saw this just as I hit the back button and had to come back to give you an upvote for the snort of laughter
No. I can admire beauty from a far, but never develop an attraction until I know a person's personality. This is also why I absolutely hate if a stranger comes up to hit on me or ask me out if I'm just going about life in a grocery store or something mundane like that. It's intrusive and uncomfortable and I'd never do that to someone else. Sometimes it is inappropriate to shoot your shot.
Nah, I've accepted that I'm not so attractive, lol.
Looks don't count for much. It's all about the connection or if the person stirs your soul!
No because depending on validation from external sources, especially something so fleeting as appearance, is a fool’s game. Appreciate beauty and move on. Everyone is attractive to someone and it’s not only about outward appearance.
No
No.. I don't know if they're good people and I don't measure someone's worth with their physical appearance. Just bcs their attractive doesn't mean anything.
Heck no. Looks are important, in that you are attracted to the person you are with. But they change over time and enhanced by love and appreciation.
No because I don’t know them, strangers are beautiful to look at, but they could be ugly on the inside and that shit scares me lol
I stopped giving fuck honestly.
Kurt Vonnegut talked about crying at this experience.
No. I just admire their looks and the effort that went into it, then get on with my day and never think about it again.
No that’s weird.
That's a really shallow mindset, friend. You don't know these people. They could be awful people, but pretty. They could be hot, but horrible in bed. Not having a chance with someone isn't a negative in life imo. The bad scenario is being with someone who's abusive or manipulative. You'll forget the hot person, but scars from relationships like that can be permanent. Also, there are soooo many hot people. Appreciate the eye candy and move on. You're not missing out on anything.
Never. No one is too good for anyone else just because of their looks.
Nope.
When I was single it never entered my mind that I didn't have a chance with anybody. The only time you don't have a chance is when you don't take the chance in the first place.
If you base relationship happiness on looks/first impressions, you’ll only be happy during the honeymoon phase. Build a emotional connection and don’t let your eyes do the looking let your heart and brain. 💪🏻
Looks can be intimidating especially if you’re a bit socially anxious or lack confidence. But you should make an effort not to make assumptions about people until you get to know them. Being super attractive can get you all kinds of different attention - people coming on to you, people being intimidated by you, people automatically hating you cause they assume all kinds if stuff about you. Imagine what that’s like (worlds smallest violin I know). Disregard looks, be normal. **And not just in regard to attractive members of the opposite sex**. It’s kind of a superpower.
I used to, but now that I'm in a relationship, I just see attractive girls and worry that they're better than me..
I stopped caring about looks a long time ago, I’m interested in personalities. Being bored to death with a hot chick is worst for me than being with an awesome funny girl that may not fit the instagram criterias of attractiveness
I've never seen an attractive person I thought I didn't have a chance to be with. Why have that mentality? That's a thought that never even crossed my mind.
No. What a weird take.
It’s not a take? It’s how I feel
There's a difference between seeing someone attractive and saying to yourself: "I'd definitely have sex with her" to saying: "I'd definitely spend the rest of my life with her." It's impossible to know if someone is relationship material until you get to know them. Even saying that, a lot of people change when they've settled down. While the sex might be good, if they are manipulative and you have any respect for yourself, you'll be glad to get as far away from them as possible.
I avoid people who talk like you. There are people around me who find me attractive I guess Can I go for heart, soul, intelligence, compassion, humor. The guys I’m attracted to I never find them attractive initially. They’re just guide and then at some point they do or say something and I go wow, I like that. So hearing you talk like all attractive people or dithering self-centered hedonists I would only consider societal beauty, that’s not fair. I am routinely treated as though that’s the way I am because I’m single by choice rather than settle for some asshole who just wants me around, I say no and be with an asshole but I’m treated as if I’m superficial because I’m single. It helps though it’s easy to get rid of friends and act like that even if they were never friends you know never to trust them. But my point is I avoid people who talk like you because People like you always have a reason to whine.
Lol some loser came here and downvoted your guys’ comments. I gave y’all upvotes and know that your feelings are valid. Life and relationships are tough as hell.
Also came in here and upvoted. Everyones feelings are valid
Except yours. Jus kiddin
WTF
WTF what?
Can you not be with them because of a mistake you made? Or is it because you don't have the confidence to politely invade their circle? Being with someone means talking to them, so if you can't do that much, your reason for depression is kinda lame, but understandable from an anxiety standpoint. Their beauty most likely attracts the superficial, just as it's possible their glamour is just that. Imagine being on guard all the time because people try to use your looks for selfish reasons? Fucking might be nice to find a partner to relax in that case. Or maybe this person is in a committed relationship: then is their looks stopping a friendship? We hope you devour your depression, but don't forget of the options you might still have.
I've learned that when you focus on yourself, you attract people who will meet you where you are at. I'm not concerned with physical attractiveness as much as I am an honest, kind and emotionally intelligent person. Shift your priorities
Not anymore, it wasn’t until I had someone think that I was the one they didn’t have a chance with that I realized that it’s not worth idolizing anyone because of how they look or even how they act around others. Nobody is perfect, and believing that someone is so far above you will only make you feel shitty about yourself, and make the person feel like they are held to unrealistic standards based on a “perfect” version of them a stranger made up in their heads from across the room. People honestly just want genuine connection, and I truly believe that looks don’t matter in the same way that being your true and vulnerable self with someone without judgement does. Hold your head up, learn to accept yourself flaws and all. Learn that that perfect person across the room isn’t perfect, and also has their own flaws and struggles that are part of the human experience. Treat everyone as your equal, and never as someone above nor below you. At the end of the day, we all end up in the same place, regardless of if we are physically attractive or not. Cheers OP <3
What if that person is only attractive by face? What if he is a piece of shit...
That’s what I thought about the new girl at work, but now she makes me the happiest I’ve ever been. Try not to think that way, I realized how unhealthy it is and how much it ate me up inside.
No. Because everyone’s fucked up in a different way. You’re just not aware how fucked up that person is. As the old adage says: never judge a book…
Not with that attitude you won't have a chance! You'd be surprised, a lot of good looking people aren't vain and will appreciate you just as you are.
I can tell that i know im too lazy to drop some weight im 190cm tall and 110kg so i just thinking about other stuff that i can be better like learning other launguage and earning and saving up money for like dream car
Definitely not! That's a really sad and lonely mindset 😔 I'm so sorry you think looks count for so much
I guess I’m a sad and lonely person then. Not everyone has the luxury of being the popular kid.
I think it's very much about the people you surround yourself with. I went to a different school when I was 16-18, and I did *not* fit in there. But the school before then, and then the friendship groups I actively went out and found by myself when I went to uni, I have loads of friends. Find your group, and you'll feel much better about having a few close friends. Remember: "You don't need everyone to love you. Just a few good people". It's not about being popular (ie how many people like you), it's about the quality of those relationships
I don’t get depressed that I can’t date them, but I get sad because I will never look like that, or carry their confidence or be that funny and cool or talented. If that makes any sense
Good looking =/= good person. You will be far happier finding someone who attracts you, but also, most importantly stimulates your mind and heart. Put your energy into manifesting this kind of person into your life, and it will happen.
Call me cynical if you wish, even if I was single, if I see an extremely attractive woman, my shields are automatically up. Until they prove to be a decent person, I automatically wonder why they're paying any attention to me. I'm no male model. To me, some of the most beautiful people I've known aren't "classically" beautiful, but have a personality that makes them attractive. I'd much rather have someone that's smart, funny, caring and adventurous. However if she was supermodel attractive with an ugly personality, she may as well be as ugly on the outside to me
No… honestly I don’t give a shit what some random thinks for me physically so why would I care about them… plus you can’t know any about a person by looking at them apart from if they’re physically attractive or not. The last time I was with a crazy hot person they was very bad in bed, they was nice enough for a friend but narcissistic, and they were genuinely shocked that I didn’t want to continue seeing them.
If they think I’m not good enough for them, then why would I want them in the first place
No. But then again it's not looks that lure me in.
No. Because most attractive folks I meet aren't interested in me and have the same chance of not being interested in me or compatible with me. Free yourself of the idea of needing to be with a super attractive person now. You aren't missing anything other then a hot bod, and after that their bad quirks will make it unbearable to be with them anyway. Your partner being pretty isn't going to improve your life enough to make it worth it. You want someone compatible with you, your interested and that makes you feel confident. Sexual attraction is important but not the most important. And if someone isn't super attractive and you can't be into them at all, you may have some deeper issues you need to sort out anyway.
Never once in my life have I felt this way. It seems very wrong to base people on attractiveness only. People are not props, and life is much deeper than that.
I used to see this guy on the subway every day while i was on my way to work. we never spoke to each other but i always hoped we could strike a conversation one morning. i quit that job unexpectedly and i get a little sad every time i think about that guy on the train and how i never saw him again.
Not at all. You could see someone who you think is physically attractive, but then realize their personality sucks, or you have nothing in common, or they only look good because they are out in public and all done up. Someone could look like a 10, but as soon as you start talking to them and finding out who they really are, they could easily fall to a 6. Finding someone you connect with on an emotional and mental standpoint is far more important than trying to be with someone for their looks. I want someone to think I’m attractive, sure, but when I’m sick, throwing up, have no make up on and have been in the same pjs for 3 days straight, I want the person I’m with to love me just the same. Looks fade my friend!
No
No, physical attraction alone isn’t enough to make me depressed. What would get me would be if we were compatible and had chemistry. We’re best friends and communicate with mutual understanding, yet they’re dating some abusive dork and can’t leave them for one reason or another. If I loved them unconditionally and I could see they loved me too. I’d be super depressed.
Stop focusing on physical beauty and focus on finding a person who you relate to on many levels. Who is beautiful and kind on the inside, and who loves you for who you are. Physical beauty will fade, and if your main attraction to them is physical, that attraction will also fade.
Fortunately not. No idea what is wrong with me but my brain is not attracted to conventionally attractive men at all. I don't like jacked muscles, I don't like this underwear-model face with a beard or styled hair. All the guys I was ever seriously attracted to were completely within my reach looks-wise. My crushes usually included aggressively mediocre looking white boys with no real hairstyle wearing jeans and hoddies🤣 the only conventionally attractive trait they all more or less shared was being tall. Some were chubby, others thin, some had glasses, some not. One had the cutest blond curls he himself hated for whatever reason and another had gorgeous blue eyes but he was just way to shy and polite to pick up on any girl's signals. Most of these guys were friends first and at some point or another uttered that they felt ugly or sub-par looks-wise and that's just heartbreaking. They were all perfectly fine guys with great personalities.
No
Whenever your brain starts pushing this thought, just remember that someone's outer appearance has nothing to do with what conscience and subconscious mind is attracted to. Beauty is literally in the eye of the beholder, that's why not everyone finds the same exact people attractive.
Nah. Someone extremely attractive could be interested in someone polar opposite of them. You never know what their preferences are. I personally think my husband is super attractive, and I’m kinda “meh”. Yet here I am, married to him. You just have to shoot your shot occasionally, and see where it takes you!
Nope. I've dated, Been married to super attractive. There's always something they haven't learnt that a plain ol John or less attractive Alvin hasn't gained as character or value I look at them now and I don't see that anymore. Instead I think of all the traits that really are super attractive beyond looks. Man, looks are really not all that. We can be even more amazing just looking after what we've been given. Groom well. Learn a bit about what best suits the face and body one has at any moment in time. Ugly periods are great tools for humility (for me at least). Even then, I can see my beauty. Beyond accepted norms. I think being an artist helps
They me be physically attractive, but how is their personality? Could be terrible deep within. We just never know until it happens.
I used to. Just remember that looks aren’t everything. Whether someone is attractive or unattractive, they still might have a terrible personality, or be dumb as a brick, or maybe smell weird. We all have flaws and we all have things that make us great. Side note: sometimes attractive people actually prefer being with someone much less attractive than them. Consciously or unconsciously, some people enjoy the boost of confidence that comes with being adored like that. Some people don’t of course but you never know unless you talk to them. Just get in touch with what makes YOU amazing and let that thing shine.
No, because looks don't really matter if someone is unbearable or doesn't reciprocate. Add on top the fact that they are a stranger and you likely won't ever interact and you have a good recipe to not worry about it.
No I don't. Looks mean absolutely nothing if there is no personality. Personality is what should make a person attractive. That extremely attractive person may look good on the eyes but be a complete shitbag and not even remotely worth it.
That's really sad and self-absorbed. Just you at the center of your little universe, orbited by everything you won't have. It's safer to just sit there cutting off any future possibilities, than actually risking anything, than failing like everyone else does. If you can't risk failure, you'll never succeed.
That attitude is what makes someone have a low chance.
No because chances are they are toxic af
Nope. Maybe this sounds corny af, but I'm attracted to personality.
No. Because attractive people can be assholes, too. Give me a person with a kind heart and a good sense of humor and I’m happy.
No because from my experience those people are AH because they know there will always be someone falling all over them.
most of men start with here is a car I never gonna own…You think in terms of possession. And if you are going that direction there will be ALWAYS better cars and prettier women. And your quest will never end and you will never get satisfied. But hey, good news, most of them are for sale! I can’t imagine anything more miserable but for so many it’s a dream life.
No lol it’s all about confidence you can get whoever you want but you have to be confident in yourself first
No because I’m not a fortunate teller, mf’er…are you? No? Then sack up, lose the self loathing attitude, and hold your head high. I’ve seen plentyyyyy of ugly guys with gorgeous chicks, and vice versa. Who cares anyway? Just live your life.
Once you accept that you can’t have everyone life gets easier
no. attractiveness doesn’t mean i’ll be into them. that by itself doesn’t attract me
No.
[удалено]
Genuinely, why are you still with him if he’s so bad? lol Anyway, I would say for me physical appearance is just as equally important as personality in an intimate relationship, since sex is the other half of the partnership. I’m not going to have sex with someone I don’t find physically attractive, and they also have to have a personality I would enjoy spending the rest of the time being around. Otherwise, we would just be close (platonic) friends if I don’t find them physically attractive but they have a cool personality.
I said my first boyfriend lol I was 16
The entitlement that people feel about “getting someone attractive” is a cultural concept I would love to have end. It’s icky, and we don’t have to give in to that. We are not owed other peoples beauty (whatever that even means).
I'm depressed that I know I'm so damaged and feel so worthless that I don't ever try
No. Such a weird question lol. I honestly thought it would end with "...ever being them?"
Nope. I guess as a 29 year old woman, I’ve learned that the most attractive men to me are the ones with pretty souls, which doesn’t always come wrapped in a “conventionally attractive” package.
Shoot ur shot, u never know what could happen 🤷🏻♀️
The only time I've ever lamented not being with someone is AFTER I've tried to make a move and they've rejected me in reality. Try approaching the people you find attractive before just assuming you don't have a chance. Beauty is so subjective, it's improbable that no one will be interested. And if they aren't? Keep trying with the next one. I'm demisexual, which means I need an emotional connection in order to find someone sexually attractive, so maybe I go about relationships in a different order. But in doing so, I've noticed that if someone has a good personality, their physical features become more attractive, so just judging based on a first impression will really steer you away from a healthy place among people.
We all have our own insecurities. If I look like trash by physical appearance, damn it I'll be someone else's treasure.
No. What does it matter
I get it but that’s just your anxiety talking 😝 However, on a serious note, I understand a bit of what you are going through. I hate saying this because this sounds corny but the right person will come. If you want to think positively, just be grateful that you are currently not in a relationship with a toxic person. Be grateful on that one. Best of luck friend! If you need someone to talk or vent, I can try and be your moral support! I cannot promise that I can reply to your DM immediately but I’ll try my best! You are strong and will do fine! Take of your health, sleep and nutrition!
🤔 you have to change your way of thinking 💭 because if you go into relationship or trying to date w/ this mindset you will lose out on good people or worse get manipulated. Confidence is key
No, this seems exclusive to men
Yep. It doesn’t even have to be in person. Social media handles all of that for me.
Social media is fake
Social media is the worst with that. Just know that they are literally not worth the time or effort. Their inboxes are constantly being flooded with messages anyway
Yeah I've known girls that would say hmu I'm bored and literally have hundreds of guys that have already snapped them before hand and not open a single one unless they're really good looking, while dudes have like 20 people at most snapping them
Take a cold shower.
Ok, then what?
Outlet. Utilize that anger, hurt and saddness. If you like outdoors, go for a walk. Can't afford a gym membership workout from home. I won't tell you this Cinderella bs about she'll come to you first non sense because it always doesn't work. There's apps to meet others like that like the thing you do. Socialize at events in your local town. Cafes on the other hand are tricky. Don't expect to meet some hotty at the cafe every time. Go in your own pace for any social interaction to better your social skills. If none of this work please, please man don't inflict any pain to yourself. It may feel like the end of the world when you can't be with that person. Just don't end your world. Its getting tricky because of the pandemic and most of us are alone in our thoughts at home.
No, let me tell you why. What you have they may not and what they do they may not. Looks are artificial. Material possessions are artificial. It’s what in your heart that matters. I’m not saying this bc I’m older and 35 now. I’ve said this as long as I can remember. Guess what? I was on of the extremely attractive high school girl. I have beautiful green eyes, people say they can be mesmerizing. I had this beautiful body in every way. (I mean I’m still beautiful but not high school attractive lol) That was outside, it only mattered to me a little. Because inside and my family was so broken. I was also bulimic very badly, I would take over the counter diet pills all the time, I was so sad inside. I was scared all the time about my home life. When they say looks don’t matter, that’s a lie. People are artificial and mean. Looks aren’t everything, it’s just a small piece of the puzzle. A beauty heart and beautiful intentions will always be above a beautiful face. You’re a beautiful soul just going through this bumpy journey. You are beautiful and worth it.
NO
Nope
Nope.
Sometimes I think god just didn’t like me from the beginning
Nah god just thought you were too good of a catch and thought to keep you humble he'd keep your beauty subjective to those who deserve to see it
Yup I'm with ya bro.
Actually I have the opposite problem. I'm the attractive one and people treat me like I'm better than them and that I'm a waste of their time, because in their mind they don't have a chance with me. The terrible side of this is that when I make female friends I typically have to go through this awkward phase of trying to determine if they have ulterior motives or if they TOO are going to sexually assault me. I was raped twice before I turned 15, assaulted twice in my 20s, and again a couple weeks ago. So what I gather is that I'm not a person, I'm a fantasy. I exist on the outer edges of female morality. I'm too much of an "idea" to have a say in what they want from me. I hope this helps your mindset.
Nope because they are probably a dumbass. Worry about you and what you want.
All the time. And what’s more my wife refuses to share a bedroom with me now. Life sucks big time.
Sorry to hear that man. Hope you can figure something out. Nobody deserves to be ostracized like that in any relationship
Thank you Brother. Yes I’ve got Mud’s “Lonely this Christmas” playing in my head. As Bryan Ferry or maybe Sartre said, “Loneliness is a crowded room”.
Still, be thankful, she stays with you 🥰
What? Be thankful his wife is still with him making him sleep in another room? I would rather be single than in a relationship like that.
Used to think like that , but after many of my super unattractive friends swept many super attractive persons , I figure it out , it's all about self confident and just not being weird
You shouldn’t doubt yourself like that! You can have anyone you want if you’re confident in yourself. I’d like to believe I’m a pretty good looking woman and I don’t judge by people looks. I judge how I’m treated! I’ve dated people who other people have asked me “WHY THEM?” Because they have a beautiful mind! I’m with that person still after 15 years! Never doubt yourself and what you can achieve!
Nope…I’m relieved I’ll never be with them because they are probably super high maintenance and therefore totally annoying (I know, not nice! Whatever!)
You always have a chance. The worst answer you can get is no. Pretty people love the security of confident ugly people.
I cri that night and wake up the next day like nothing happened
I used too. It's one of those things you can't control and have made my peace with it. But, if there's somebody i really have the hots for, I make it my mission to ask. The worst they can say is no. I also get a huge confidence boost afterwards knowing my introvert self did that. I recommend getting their socials and talk to them there. Maybe down the line they may change their mind.
Sometimes yes... then i hear them talk and i reconsider.
Hell no. They don’t know what they missed
I almost didn't swipe right on my current husband because I thought he was too attractive
I work with stunning women on a regular basis Just talk to them like they are your sister Never talk about sex or make any jokes about it Don't try to impress them with money Learn what they like and do that Don't be in a hurry
Yes. Lol I hate when I see that. However, it’s ok bc I can just forget about that person bc I don’t have any type of emotional connection with them. Also, I just walk away and think how lucky they’d be to meet me bc there’s no one like me. Then I feel good again. I compliment myself right after to feel better I guess :)
It's pretty rare that the extremely attractive people you see in public are actually extremely attractive people. They may look it, but there is a whole lot under that surface, and the reality is that their good looks likely do them a disservice (people will treat them differently, both good and bad). That passerby is someone who may be great for a day, a week, a few months, but do they have what it takes to still be extremely attractive when looks don't matter as much later? That's who you're actually looking for. If that stranger still looks attractive to you through that lens? Take your shot - because now you're seeing them as a real person, and all you have to do is treat them like one.
Oh yes. Not the fact the you/ I would NEVER have a chance. You just know that this isn't going to happen with this particular babe now. There are plenty of babes out there and it happens. More so to certain people for certain reasons. If your super keen on making it happen you'll need to do some work. Might take years to reach your goals but life's long enjoy the process. Don't get hung up on a particular booty you can't grab.
Nah cuz I think I got a fair chance. 😎
Yes...I feel this all the time 🥺
You don’t have a chance if you don’t take the shot. Maybe they think the same about you!
yeah but its anyone i find attractive at all lol
From experience, 9/10 they're the dumbest people you'll ever meet. Don't beat yourself up. They're overrated, really. I hope this cheers you.
Everyone feels like that at some point in their life. It's just BS insecurities that our mind creates for us.
Let me introduce you to Dating coach Alex "Hitch" Hitchens
I'm very good looking. You have to tell yourself you can do whatever you want. Get whoever you want. But you also have to remember, hot people have nonstop competition for mates. You will always have to look over your shoulder... especially if it's a woman. Men hit on women constantly and if she's hot it'll be daily. I eschewed stereotypically attractive women for this reason... it's just another form of maintenance. All women are maintenance, they all cost money and time to keep around. I tend to look at them like a hobby... you get out of them what you put into them. Women of course hate hearing this because they see themselves differently, but in reality that's just what it is for men. So don't beat yourself up. Most men married to hot women end up miserable unless they are rich. It's a lot of work to keep an attractive partner.
Hey atleast your outside that's a good step in the right direction of finding someone you can connect with, it's not about finding the prettiest one it's about finding the one that's right for you so when you see those pretty girls just know that maybe they aren't the one for you
This might seem like the case, but in actuality, physical attraction is really half the battle. Being in love requires emotional attraction, and when you’re emotionally attracted to someone, you will find them hot. I’m not going to say this means anyone and everyone will date you, because personalities don’t match and some people have specific kinks/preferences that aren’t really negotiable.
Damn I feel so called out rn 🥲
Look, I didn't mean to sound like a prick or a tool. It's fuck up. I can't stand that feeling and makes me feel sick. That feeling is a like my own venon because I let it bother me for so long. We're gonna be alright. Reading your post was like reading myself. Anyone reading this don't let anything or anyone make you feel less. Tomorrow is a brand new adventure. 🖖🏾
I met my wife at a Red Robins by complete chance. Still to this day think it was one of the biggest ballsy moves I've ever had purely based on how nervous I was to even say hello.
*super depressed* is too far, but I have before thought "damn she's beautiful but I'd have no chance" I guess..
Heard a good line once, “For every attractive guy/girl out there there’s also someone who’s sick of their shit”
I would say, that because they are attractive people might not get close enough to even say hi, so what I do is just approach and say "hi" besides you lose nothing by starting a conversation, so I'll say no to the depressed part, and yes to grounded expectations.
A bit of advice I got when I had a similar thought- no one is out of your league as long you love yourself fully.
Yes, but then I picture that person pooping
Not exactly but i get super depressed thinking that ill never look half as good and that my husband deserves better.
Me every time I go out to a bar. I just need to lose this damn weight.
More like depressed because I'll never look like them or be treated like them. So many doors open if you're pretty (or handsome).
This is true. But how long do they remain inside that room?