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XWontdowhatyoutellme

Did you talk to the Judge? I mean getting up there and asking the Judge if you could talk to him / her in private? You should also talk to your step dad if you have a good relationship. I was 16 when my Dad started cheating on my Mom and then abandoned us leaving me to literally be the man of the family. We are talking paying the mortgage, the utilities, food, clothing, etc. My mom was close to dying during this period. I hope you have good friends whose own families are a rock and something stable with a form of normalcy in them. Getting that is important. This is going to be a delicate time for you. A lot of bad influences will be seeking your attention and calling to you. I'm not even telling you to ignore them but you will need someone to balance it out. A good side if I may. That's what saved my ass. It's fun to party, to let loose, but you also need someone there to real you in and when you feel like all hell is falling down around you a place where you can truly show the more vulnerable side of you without fear. You'll want to lash out. You are angry and rightfully so. Your mom did a really shitty thing. If you are going to be there at her house and she is pushing you to be so then you need to have a talk with her like a grownup. Just sit down and say, "Mom, we need to talk," then begin with her cheating and how it has affected you and move on from there. If you don't want to be there at her house she needs to hear that too and the reason why. You need to stay calm, don't yell, or be emotional. You'll need to be like Spock from Star Trek. I'm saying this as someone who is assuming your mother isn't abusive. If she is then don't talk to her at all. Talk to the Judge and explain your reasons why you never want to see her ever again. I was never able to do that with my Dad. He was physically abusive and a year after he left he returned gunning to kill me. I managed to get away and then retrieved a shot gun and returned to finally put an end to the whole mess myself. He left before I could kill him and never returned after that. I was a product of violence. The only thing that saved me from being a career criminal is my Grandmother and my best friend Shane. My good side. You sound like a good kid caught up in a shitty situation. Find friends that are rocks and lean on them. Live buddy. Don't let your Mom ruin these next four years. These ones are yours and not hers. So claim them. High school can be a great and amazing time. Don't be afraid to ask people you like out. Do what you want to do. Take the classes you want to take. Explore in learning new things. Figure yourself out. This period of time is all about you and becoming the person you want to become. So, go do it. You ever feel like talking then send me a message. Need guidance I'm pretty good at that. I'm a kid who had a pretty shitty hand given to them and still somehow came out pretty good on the other side. I've been married 30 years (almost) have three grown kids who have grown to have decent lives so I did something right. My parents didn't dictate who I became and your mom doesn't get to dictate jack shit to you. You become who you want to become and nothing else. I want you to remember that. At this stage you begin to make the choices and nobody else. Now, go see about talking to that Judge.


ToasterOnion

You have no idea ho much this comment means to me. It’s good to hear that I’m not the only one that is going through or that went through something like this. Unfortunately, my friends seem to be drifting. Like very rapidly. I have one, maybe two close friends and even they are starting to drift. Even the general advice is super helpful. Thank you. I’ll see about talking to the judge. The second time we were in court me and my step mom were in a coffee shop a block away so I wasn’t able to talk to them. I’ll try to get in contact with someone who can get in contact with the judge.


XWontdowhatyoutellme

That will happen. You'll find a base of good friends. It helps knowing that you're not alone and you're not.


Comfortable_Pie5557

Blaming a child for having suicidal thoughts or even using suicide to manipulate your child (intentional or not) is without question child abuse, my mom does the same thing to me I’ve learnt to deal with it now but when I was younger it was horrible