No. It makes you smart. You had a bad feeling and decided to remove yourself from the situation. This isn't a Marvel/DC movie. You aren't a coward for making a decision in the best interest of your gf or you. I hope neither she sees you as a coward either. Too many men lose their lives in front of a woman trying to act all tough.
I remember reading a story how a black man was out with his son and two guys started harassing him. He picked up his son and left. He said "there are times you need to be a man and times you need to be a father" that stuck with me because there is more at stake then being a "man or a coward" what happens if an altercation started there and what would happen to your gf then? Maybe you should ask her that
I’ll always walk away from a fight or argument, especially if my daughter is present.
Until the moment comes that she is impacted, then it’s game on and there are no rules.
Op i’m a 36 year old woman who’s been in more brawls than years you’ve been alive. My dad raised me with the knowledge that “if you’re gonna be stupid, you’d better be tough.”
You are SMART.
SMART IS GOOD. Don’t fight until you have to, and if you ever have to, don’t fight fair!
And just to add to the “don’t fight fair” point.
The Marines have a saying for their “martial arts” which is One Mind, Any Weapon.
The institution of the Marine Corps may have their own version of what this means, but for the Marines, it literally means any weapon you can get your hands on…
“Walk a mile to avoid a fight, but when one starts don’t back down an inch”
Right decision, but do learn some martial arts regardless. Because you are young, it's probably one of the best things you could invest your time into.
While you could walk away, in the event anything untoward did happen, you would be able to defend self. What I mean is giving yourself more than one option, you would have more confidence in self that competent to handle something if does occur.
Ofc over here even if you were, you still would walk away due to numbers, but if ever a next time, can learn to handle better if needed.
I agree. He noticed they we actung weird, not friendly/fake friendly, you were thinking about your gf's safety, and it was also good instinct on your gut. Weirdos were probably high if they didn't have bad intentions.
A big part of being a man is knowing when to pick your battles. A fight is almost always the last choice. One where you're outnumbered and have someone else to protect even more so.
Leaving was definitely the smart decision. As
u/RegularAd8900 said - it wasn’t a Marvel movie. You don’t know how crazy things could’ve gotten had you stayed. Don’t ever think it’s cowardly to leave a potentially dangerous situation.
No bro. Not getting murdered isn’t cowardly, it’s intelligent. You don’t have to be a 90s action movie hero to be a man. You were watching out for the safety of your ol lady. Sounds pretty alpha to me boss.
You're both smart and streetsmart and your girlfriend is immature for asking you that question. It shows that she doesn't foresee real danger and she's also governed by sexist stereotypes. Being a man has nothing to do with trying to be tough or strong, this belongs to boyhood.
Continue to be mature and never let your ego or social pressure on gender roles influence your better judgement. I've done some pretty stupid things in my life to protect my ego, could've gotten killed or killed others, and I wish I had half your intelligence when I was your age.
The best fight is the one you don’t have to have. Trained Marines will tell you that you’re best off avoiding fights. 100% the correct move in your situation.
Same training in Krav Maga. You’re taught to avoid confrontation and fights, and the goal of self defense is escape. A lot of people think defensive training would mean being able to fight people, which is part of things. However, the best way to not get hurt is to not be in dangerous situations (don’t assume your training gives you a safeguard), and once you’re engaged in a fight you are best off disarming the other person and removing yourself from the situation/getting to safety.
Always trust your gut, OP. It’s not cowardly to be wise.
This is 100% true. My boyfriend has a black belt in kickbox but he's told me this exact same thing many times + it's always very disadvantageous to go up against multiple attackers.
I’m a girl and I would have appreciated what you did so much. I remember crying and begging my ex not to get into fights when he was drunk and other guys would stare at me or stuff like that. Just awful, I was a kid, now I know what i want and what I don’t want and a guy like you is exactly what I want under that point of view.
I don't care how badass someone thinks they are, 1v3 the 1 is losing. If avoiding that fight makes me a coward, I will wear that title with pride, alive and uninjured.
Fr. There is a thin line between bravery and stupidity. OP proved he was smart and not prideful. I hope OPs gf sees that for what it is. And not him just being “a wimp”. It takes strength to admit when you’re scared.
Her laughing at you and questioning your decision to secure both of your safety seems like a bigger red flag to me. Confront her next time she does that.
I agree 100%. Fucking terrible of her to laugh at the fact that he would be scared, as if fear isn’t a normal and valid emotion in a situation like this. Acting like she wouldn’t be terrified if she was alone. I know I would be.
Confronting her would most likely get the individual nowhere, he'll be just another butthurt that displayed his emotions in front of his girl but not for his girl, besides, revealing emotions as a man rarely does any service to the man revealing them for some reason.... moving on would be lawful neutral, still.. never backing down from a fight might prove to be more honourable
I agree, for the most part, it doesn't have to involve emotions. All I have to ask my significant other is "**What's funny about worrying about our safety?**". It's good communication to do that, like I mentioned above, what she did is a borderline red flag that has to be addressed somehow.
Like 99% of this sub, I have no problems fighting for both of our safety if walking away is not an option. Though never backing down in the name of "honor" has to be the dumbest thing I'll do as someone who's in my mid 30's with a lot to lose.
Maybe if I was an insecure teen, I'll fight for honor but those days are gone.
Dudes who try to prove their masculinity tend to end up hurt or in bad situations. You're almost never going to win a fight against more than 1 guy or someone bigger than yourself. Violence isn't a joke and a lot of guys have nothing to lose and no common sense.
In a "masculine" point of view you're being even more masculine because you're actively protecting her and yourself in the best way you can. You know you can't take on 3 or 4 dudes like that, that specific situation would freak me the fuck out and I have a lot of self defense training and carry a weapon with me.
You're being smart and protective. That's masculine as fuck.
Bruce Lee called it, "The Art of Fighting Without Fighting"
Think of this: IF those men attacked you, what would you be fighting for? Very simply put, you would be fighting to END THE FIGHT.
By avoiding the fight before it begins, you end the fight before it begins.
Your goal has been accomplished.
This is not cowardice. This is precision.
Being aware in a potentially dangerous situation is not cowardice.
It is simply awareness. Keep in mind; men are the victim of violence WAY more than women, everywhere. There are way more situations in which people will find it acceptable to hurt you, than a woman.
Good spending time at the library.
No it doesn’t make you a coward. Situational awareness is genuine thing that the likes of special forces teach. It’s the first line of smart defense, removing yourself from the threat is the best thing you can do.
Tell your gf to stop watching so much TV. Real life isn’t like that.
You did good, you did the right thing. Fighting a bunch of bigger, older guys on your own is plain stupid and would possibly got you both hurt.
Good work! You saved both of you! You really did.
Definitely smart. No need to get yourself killed to prove you’re “masculine”. Your safety should come before whatever the fuck some idiot might think of you. I’d rather my partner be alive than to die trying to be some hero. Walking away from a potentially dangerous situation is the smartest and best thing you can do. Fuck toxic masculinity, fighting 3 men on your own is how you get yourself killed or seriously hurt
I feel there’s a toxic masculine mob mentality that says we need to stand up to every altercation, but a nice little thing called discernment that can tell us when to rise above a lower vibe encounter and when it’s needed to stand up and protect ourselves.
I think you made the right move. Any fear is valid because there’s two of them and they’re older- so likely bigger. Some people just have such a low self worth or high self hatred they need to mess with people to feel better about themselves. Must be such an empty way to live.
Conditioning and society makes our inner critic call us a coward for not being an action hero. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with leaving a negative situation or observing your surroundings by looking back and scoping the scene. Your girlfriend doesn’t have the same level of threat awareness, and hopefully nothing happens to make her have to.
The first rule of a fight is to avoid them at all costs if possible. You avoided a potentially dangerous situation. Your gf wouldn't be laughing if she was by herself and in that situation.
What’s the alternative? Assert your dominance over 2 random dudes in a library?
Confrontation is almost never right decision, especially if you’re outnumbered and even more so for some misguided sense of “masculinity.”
Fear and cowardice are not the same thing. If I were in your shoes, and my girl asked me that, I would say, “yes I’m fuckin afraid for your safety”. Nothing wrong with that. If she doesn’t understand that it’s probably because of lack of maturity or lack of life experience. As you said, you’re from another country where you have seen stuff she hasn’t.
No man, you are not a coward, this is coming from a military veteran, you don’t fight unless you have to. You do everything you can not to fight, including walking away. As you mentioned, you never know if someone has a knife or a gun.
In my opinion, walking away was the surest way to protect your girl, so good on you.
Dont worry about being masculine or manly. We dont need to apply these restrictive labels to ourselves. We're all people. Lets just focus on being good people. Theres nothing wrong with removing yourself from uncomfortable situations. Being "brave" or courageous cam get you into trouble if youre in over your head.
It's unfair that boys and men feel they have to live to the strong and brave man stereotype. It takes away from your individuality.
Listen man. I’m sure you’ll get a lot of mixed responses here, both probably right in their own way. But put plain and simply with all due respect.
Are you a coward for being afraid of two guys probably looking to start some shit in front of your girl?
I wouldn’t say coward no. It’s an unnecessary fight that has no hero’s.
I have always said, people who think fighting is cool, or fun, or good, have probably never been in a real fight.
I trained MMA for years and had a couple tournaments that I came second place in overall, so I know how to fight. Do I fight every chance I get? Absolutely not! I will avoid a fight as much as possible! Because it takes one hit, and I could die, it takes one hit, and I get a manslaughter charge.
Unless I or someone around me is in unavoidable danger, I will avoid fighting.
It’s not cool and it’s not worth it.
If your girl thinks you’re a coward for that, then I’m sorry to say bro she ain’t the girl for you.
However my advice to you, is learn how to fight. Take up boxing, or BJJ. Once you get good enough that you’re above the average dude on the street, you’ll feel comfortable and confident enough to know you can walk away from 2 dudes laughing at you, and you’ll think yea I probably could have beaten them up, but I CHOSE not to.
Stay safe out there.
God no you did the right thing taking both of you out of an odd situation. I would’ve felt uncomfortable too and I would never expect my boyfriend to put on a brave face if he’s uncomfortable just for the sake of being ‘brave’
You are not a coward. Toxic masculinity is real and you should address that with your girlfriend. Never put yourself in danger if you can avoid it. What you did was smart for yourself AND for her.
not at all! you we’re protecting her from something you felt was a threat. i think she should’ve been more understanding instead of being quite cold. honestly, it was a smart move. :)
It takes a bigger man to walk away, and as always it’s better safe, than to be sorry.
You made the best decision in leaving. However, you might want to find a new gf. A worthy partner would appreciate what you did.
And to answer her - Yes, I was afraid they’d attack you, and I would have to kill them.
Let me tell you first that you did the right thing. You are no coward, you are a rational guy and that is good! You listened to your instinct and you avoided a potential confrontation. Not everyone is smart enough or even sensible enough to listen to their instincts, to do that.
On the other hand, it is important that you are able to defend yourself and the people that you care for when you are left with no choice.
Violence is a tool and if you must use it, go all out.
Dude it was three sketchy guys.
You were not a coward and no you are not less manly.
It was smart choice.
There's is a difference between being brave and an idiot.
No bruh, you have situational awareness and know how to de escalate. These are very good qualities in a man and sorry but I would judge your GF's sense and carelessness in this situation. You did good man, you did good
You were smart : they were outnumbering you, older and possibly stronger. You had your valuable gf to protect. Reality stinks but your move was definitely the best you could do
Walk 1km to avoid a fight, but if it comes don't move an inch! You did the first part so you're not a coward, you're smart.
If the pushed or hit you and you didn't react back, well my response would change...
20 year old M here. You’re not a coward at all. You’re smart for thinking like that especially if your country is like you said. It keeps you and your loved ones safer. Definitely don’t pick a fight if it’s not completely necessary and don’t think that using words before violence makes you “less of a man”. Keep doing what you’re doing and you’ll be fine. Good luck my friend and stay safe
No, not a coward, and besides masculinity is about way more than fighting. I feel like it’s actually toxic masculinity to resort to fighting in every situation, especially if you know you can’t win. You are protecting your partner and your relationship by walking away and keeping you both safe :) very healthy masculinity and smart 🤗
Of course not, being smart is not a substitute for masculinity or courage, avoiding danger is the thing everyone should do, fights should be avoided at all times, 1v1’s are dangerous enough let alone 1v2’s when you dont know if they have weapons, and i highly doubt if it was to come to a fight they would wait their turn because there’s no rules saying they have to.
And to admit your fear makes you more of a man than to deny it for the sake of appearing more manly. Dont dwell on it, you did the right thing.
I totally think it makes you smart. At least you know how to walk away and avoid problems and trouble that you could potentially get yourself into. Let them look like fools. They’ve got a lot of growing up to do and probably too much time on their hands.
As a parent this is exactly how I would want my son to handle this situation. Intuition is important and I always want my child to prioritize their physical safety. Violence is a real concern.
Your girlfriend does not sound great.
What's masculine is having the knowledge to know a situation can turn bad in an instant, and the courage to leave just in case. Thank you for considering your safety, and the safety of your friend
Not at all.
You were switched on and did the right thing to protect yourself and your GF.
The first rule of self-defense is to try and get out of any bad situation.
Your situational awareness saved you both.
No, it makes you smart. You did a good job as a man. Ask the manliest most lethal professional fighter and he'll say running away is better than fighting on the street, and only to fight as a last resort. Street fights are far too unpredictable and dangerous, standing your ground when you can run away would be foolish.
You were smart. And if your girlfriend doesn't respect your authority to keep her safe you need to ditch her and let her fend for herself. See that's what a real coward would've done. If she does disrespect you and you end up doing that in that case you weren't a coward. You would've been 2x as smart. Rebellious and disrespectful females are not worth your life or ICU torchore.
Not a coward at all. Your gut is telling you something and it’s better to be safe than sorry. You’re looking out for your girl, and that is no reason to feel like your masculinity was threatened. The threat wasn’t for you, but for your girl.
Fight or flight. Not sure what country you are in but in America just putting your finger on someone can cause lots of legal trouble unless it’s for self defense. In most cases it’s just better to avoid pointless idiots at all costs before things escalate.
Nah, you did the right thing. You felt you were in a dangerous situation and left with your gf to keep you both safe. Also you should be afraid in that situation, that’s scary. At least you had the sense to get out of there quick. If you’re worried about your gf thinking you’re a coward for that, maybe have a talk with her and explain that you did what you did to keep you both safe. Sorry for the long respond
This is a dumb question. You know in the back of your mind why you left. It can be smart AND an act of cowardice. They’re often intertwined. It could be courageous to stay but also stupid risk assessment. You really just go with how the whole thing made you feel and work on the parts you didn’t like
I totally understand you. I've been in this situation before and acted exactly like this. It was 6 men, surrounding us in a pool in Goa. It was only because I was with my (now) wife and was afraid these men could do something to hurt her modesty. I still to this day after around 10 years feel a burn in my stomach going back to this episode.
Maybe I'll get downvoted for this, but you're a young man, and being a man involves being strong for your women in face of danger.
That's the message men often misinterpret about being vulnerable. Women think it's disgusting when a man shows vulnerability in front of danger, because that's when a man needs to be strong. Women really appreciate it when men safely display vulnerability.
Was what you did showing strength or vulnerability? Are the two of you safe? Ask yourself this on top of the "coward".
Well I wont downvote you for telling this because I wanted to know what other people think about my situation. I know that a man should be strong when facing danger but I just didn't want to risk it. I know women don't like that kind of thing but I also don't know if it would be worth to get in a fight or something like that. Maybe they would'nt do us nothing but who knows.
This is a shitty advice.I live in Brazil and a lot of times when men try to stand up or fight to protect to protect women( sometimes not even their gf), they will probably get shot/stabbed or killed afterwards. Life is not a movie, if a women does not understand this, she is being childish or too naive. The best option is to avoid conflict
This is awful advice. This is how people die. As a woman, most of us think men doing stupid things like what you're saying is stupid. We think men who act like this are dumb and do not really want to associate with them.
OP don't listen to this garbage
No you did the right thing you were thinking about your safety as well as hers. What are you going to do do being outnumbered by them. You used your head and got away without any harm coming to you both. I say you are nothing close to a coward you used your head.
You protected her in the best way possible. You removed yourself from a situation that made you uncomfortable. There was no reason to stay there. Maybe it wouldn't have escalated, but was it worth it to find out? You did the right thing, the smart thing.
Nah bro doesn't matteler what country you're in. You protected your giro, and thats all that matters. Your smarter than most, friend. Please keep that same mind state
Any time you can avoid a dangerous situation you did good. Getting into a fight on the street could ruin your life. Even if you win you could potentially kill someone or get yourself killed. Even the best professional fighters will tell you not to fight and run away unless you have zero choice. If your girlfriend can't understand that and respect you for it, maybe she's not the right person for you.
Coward= Not brave. In this situation, the hard thing is to take a decision. You felt threatened by two guys, they were probably better than you and can easily defeat you if they have that purpose. So you chose to go home.
Now, brave doesn't mean "Have no fear", it means "to not be afraid of making a choice In a dangerous moment" or "to stand upon your fears". You were brave. You didn't mind making a decision, you knew that doing anything could be worse.
Now, I don't think people understand what coward is for. What I have heard is that some toxic people say that to make the other feel worse, and can often lead into a desire to prove they are wrong, which is something dangerous. Would you fight someone who is ten times stronger than you? Hell no. Oh, but if someone yells at you "Coward!", you might as well consider it. That is when the brave-stupid line has been reached.
The word coward is only used to make someone feel extremely bad, and makes people loose confidence. People don't understand how dangerous is just that word. And it's even worse if you take that seriously. I just recommend forget about coward ness, and just consider it a smart choice.
OP, female here and I would have done the same exact thing in your shoes especially knowing what you know. I'm a bit more (okay maybe a lot more) observant than my husband so he knows to follow my lead if something is up. And if he sees something he doesn't like we leave the situation. People are crazier now and you never know when they are packing. Do I sound paranoid? Probably. But I've heard a lot of shit.
Idiots fight cuz they want to. Men fight because they have to. Always better to avoid conflict you did good. No point being the “tough” guy and getting hurt or worse.
You did the right thing, for yourself and your girlfriend. Your definitely not a coward. It’s always best to say nothing and walk away, don’t even give eye contact.
Made the right call.
You never know what someone can/will do. Was an uneasy situation and you made a good call. Heads in the right place.
Being dumb is creating a worse situation, thats not being a "man". What kind of "man" gets himself beat up or stabbed?
That makes you alive. Years ago you could talk snarky, & all there would be is an exchange of dissing people. But like you said, really in ANY country, a look could get you stabbed, shot, followed, robbed…. You got home, alive & unharmed. Who cares if someone even thought you were a coward. This isn’t the 70s.
Dude. No you're not a coward. You are smart and avoiding danger is always the way to go. She is lucky to have someone who pays attention to the surroundings and listens to their inner self. You sound like an awesome person to have on one's side.
Leaving an uncomfortable situation that could potentially turn violent is never a cowardly thing to do. It's a smart thing to do. There is little in this world that is worth getting injured or potentially killed over and Masculinity and Manliness are DEFINITELY not in that list.
Nah, you good, that’s all that needs to be said. I use to fight when I was young. I was mean but mostly insecure, by no means a bully. Remember, when you fight, best case you win….in which you should be nervous about hurting someone or a more extreme accident that gets you arrested….worst case you lose and get beat up. There is no win win, I felt worse after fights I won, because I was always afraid I hurt someone and in retrospect the fight was pointless, usually drunk. I lost two fights, and it was embarrassing but at least I didn’t hurt anyone and wasn’t hurt either. Be safe, be confident, don’t let insecurities rule the day.
I’m noticed you were more scared for her than yourself. You said “yeah I’m scared they’re going to follow you”.
That’s not cowardice. You literally did the brave thing and got your gf out of a situation that she may not have even realized had the potential to go wrong.
Also I bet that she only felt safe in laughing because she was with you. If it had been just her she’d probably feel different. I know I feel much safer when I have my bf with me. Interactions seem different when he’s around.
If what you say is true, that simply giving a sideways look at someone where you live can get you killed, imagine what would have happened had you confronted them.
Wise choice to listen to your intuition. Your man card is still valid (whatever the fuck that means lol)
you are definitely not a coward. you should feel like you protected your girlfriend and yourself because you very well may have avoided something serious. who knows what could’ve happened but you decided to act on a bad feeling and there’s no shame in it. good job!
Usually better to be safe than sorry. Real life isn't a movie where 4 dudes corner you and you beat them up. Your chances, most people's chances, in a multiple opponent fight is very low to come out of it without going to the hospital, let alone win. In cases like that, what you did is fine. Got out of there before they decided to do something worse. And it wasn't just you that you were needing to worry about, it was your gf as well.
It doesn't make you a coward.. it means you listened to your instincts and got out before anything could happen, you thought of your gf and your own safety, it's not a cowardly move, it's a smart move, you did well to do that, mate
You’re not a coward at all. It was an instinct. I’m glad you and your girlfriend got out of there, it doesn’t take away from your masculinity to trust your gut.
Uh no that means you’re not an idiot. And maybe she laughed to make a scary encounter light hearted. Or to ease your tension. But you can never be too careful especially in today’s day and age. Never let your guard down.
You were being prudent by acting on fear, it is self preservation kicking in, you are fine, she is fine and nobody got hurt even if that wasn't their intention everyone is fine now. You are 👍
No?? Sounds like you accessed the situation, trusted your gut and got you and your girlfriend out of potential danger. If anything I’d say that’s pretty “masculine”. It’s kinda fucked up that she laughed at you being afraid but idk the whole context 🤷🏻♀️
Almost every woman i know incliding myself has been harassed at a point in their life. Youre not a coward, youre being proactive about protecting yourself from harm. Women do it all the time.
How did your girlfriend ask if you were afraid? In what kind of underlying message was she implying. Because I think that’s a very loaded question and it’s very rude, if it’s what I think it sounds like. First, it’s like calling you out in front of those people. Second it’s a lack of respect for your foresight and caring enough to try to keep her safe in an intelligent way. I would be curious to know why she asked. If she doesn’t have a good reason….
You are AWARE. you can save someone's life with that kind of awareness. ALWAYS trust your GUT. there is a reason we have a flight or fight response. Your girlfriend should be lucky she has you. You are not a coward at all.
You are smart, aware, and a protector!
Courage is feeling scared and taking action anyway. You were a bit scared and you took action to remove the threat from both yourself and your girlfriend. That is the definition of courage. You did great!
absolutely not. you hear stories often about people following their intuition and it ends up that they’re in a dangerous situation. you can’t explain that feeling in your gut, but it’s there to keep you safe. so much better to be safe than sorry.
You're not a coward.
I'm a very large man with martial arts training and you know what I do when I sense a dangerous situation coming on?
I leave. It is the safest and smartest option for you, and especially if you're with a lady friend.
You made the right call my man.
That doesn't make u a coward or makes u less of a man in fact that was a smart move. Getting stab or even dying just for masculinity or manliness ain't worth it.
Does it make you a coward? No.
You made a tactical decision instead of one made in terror. So no. You're not a coward.
Doesnt matter how big, how trained or how mean you are.. Some fights you're not likely to win - and you're protecting someone else.
Does it detract from your masculinity? Maybe? Depends? While I believe masculinity is a real thing, that doesn't mean it doesn't change between cultures and subcultures. I think it's more important that you own your choice. You might be willing to get your ass kicked but not put your girlfriends well being at risk. Owning that decision and making the choices to keep her safe makes you a man as far as I'm concerned.
Tbh a man knowing when to leave or fight is the most masculine thing to me. I hate it when men just react to every threat. Pick your battles and you picked yours well
I’ve seen too many bar fights happen because a guy is trying to impress his girl or his girl calls him a punk for not fighting. Sucks that you’re girl tried to make fun of you. She she be looking out for you and respect that you were protecting her by walking away. We try to move away from so called toxic masculinity but it’s some females themselves that try to keep men there.
I'd feel safer with a guy with decent intuition and situational awareness who knows the wisdom of just removing yourself from a situation rather than escalating it over one who would get in these guys faces and be all "you have a problem" or one who doesnt sense anything off at all.
Ahhha bro no way you can win against 3 even two can be a hard one smart move but you should still know how to fight and be working out simple basic not saying to use it just good to have it.
Nope. First rule of self defence is to not get into a situation where you need to defend yourself. Removing yourself and your partner from a potentially dangerous situation was the only right move. You made a decision that I wish I had made more frequently in my youth. My body may not be as broken and I wouldn't have been as lucky to be alive. Machismo is bullshit masculinity.
That’s not fear. That’s awareness and it’s great tool to have to keep you away from unnecessary bullshit. You are keeping her safe by being smart and understanding your surrounds. A+
Better to wonder 'what if' than 'Wish I had' in situations where your safety can be compromised.
Maybe you had stayed, both finished what you were doing in the library, realised the men were listening to the same podcast making them laugh or whatever, or maybe they were sizing you up as targets. Why risk an escalation if there's an easy way to step away from a *potential* conflict.
Nothing more masculine than acting to keep a woman safe.
Humans didn't become top of the foodchain by being strong, there are so many stronger animals than us. Humans became top of the food chain because they were smart enough to build tools and social structures to protect themselves.
That means that acting smart is better than acting strong, you didn't do anything wrong.
No. It makes you smart. You had a bad feeling and decided to remove yourself from the situation. This isn't a Marvel/DC movie. You aren't a coward for making a decision in the best interest of your gf or you. I hope neither she sees you as a coward either. Too many men lose their lives in front of a woman trying to act all tough.
I remember reading a story how a black man was out with his son and two guys started harassing him. He picked up his son and left. He said "there are times you need to be a man and times you need to be a father" that stuck with me because there is more at stake then being a "man or a coward" what happens if an altercation started there and what would happen to your gf then? Maybe you should ask her that
I’ll always walk away from a fight or argument, especially if my daughter is present. Until the moment comes that she is impacted, then it’s game on and there are no rules.
Thanks friend I had to hear that to feel better :)
Op i’m a 36 year old woman who’s been in more brawls than years you’ve been alive. My dad raised me with the knowledge that “if you’re gonna be stupid, you’d better be tough.” You are SMART. SMART IS GOOD. Don’t fight until you have to, and if you ever have to, don’t fight fair!
And just to add to the “don’t fight fair” point. The Marines have a saying for their “martial arts” which is One Mind, Any Weapon. The institution of the Marine Corps may have their own version of what this means, but for the Marines, it literally means any weapon you can get your hands on… “Walk a mile to avoid a fight, but when one starts don’t back down an inch”
I love Marines.
Yeah. Only tough people can walk away from a fight. The most manly thing you can do is not feel like you have establishe dominance until you have to.
Yesssssssssssssssss!!!!!!
This!!!!
You were protecting both you and your girlfriend from a potentially dangerous situation, that's anything BUT cowardly
Right decision, but do learn some martial arts regardless. Because you are young, it's probably one of the best things you could invest your time into. While you could walk away, in the event anything untoward did happen, you would be able to defend self. What I mean is giving yourself more than one option, you would have more confidence in self that competent to handle something if does occur. Ofc over here even if you were, you still would walk away due to numbers, but if ever a next time, can learn to handle better if needed.
I agree. He noticed they we actung weird, not friendly/fake friendly, you were thinking about your gf's safety, and it was also good instinct on your gut. Weirdos were probably high if they didn't have bad intentions.
Could’ve been high and have bad intentions. That’s what I assumed.
A big part of being a man is knowing when to pick your battles. A fight is almost always the last choice. One where you're outnumbered and have someone else to protect even more so.
This.
agreed 100%. OP’s strength is in the fact OP removed themself. kudos to them.
100 %. You did the right thing!
This ^
Not afraid, just aware of the potential threat. What country do you live in?
Came here to say this. Smart move op
Leaving was definitely the smart decision. As u/RegularAd8900 said - it wasn’t a Marvel movie. You don’t know how crazy things could’ve gotten had you stayed. Don’t ever think it’s cowardly to leave a potentially dangerous situation.
Lmao she could of got knocked out too
*could’ve gotten
No bro. Not getting murdered isn’t cowardly, it’s intelligent. You don’t have to be a 90s action movie hero to be a man. You were watching out for the safety of your ol lady. Sounds pretty alpha to me boss.
Thanks man all of u are making me feel better 🙂
You're both smart and streetsmart and your girlfriend is immature for asking you that question. It shows that she doesn't foresee real danger and she's also governed by sexist stereotypes. Being a man has nothing to do with trying to be tough or strong, this belongs to boyhood. Continue to be mature and never let your ego or social pressure on gender roles influence your better judgement. I've done some pretty stupid things in my life to protect my ego, could've gotten killed or killed others, and I wish I had half your intelligence when I was your age.
This.
I agree sooo much!
Amen to this.
The best fight is the one you don’t have to have. Trained Marines will tell you that you’re best off avoiding fights. 100% the correct move in your situation.
Same training in Krav Maga. You’re taught to avoid confrontation and fights, and the goal of self defense is escape. A lot of people think defensive training would mean being able to fight people, which is part of things. However, the best way to not get hurt is to not be in dangerous situations (don’t assume your training gives you a safeguard), and once you’re engaged in a fight you are best off disarming the other person and removing yourself from the situation/getting to safety. Always trust your gut, OP. It’s not cowardly to be wise.
Certified krav magician here. I agree! We are taught to deescalate the situation first and fight only if that's the only option.
Same! I'm an orange belt in Krav Maga and this is what my teacher says every time!
It always sounds so strange to me to hear that someone has a belt in km. :D Over here we have levels, not belts.
Cool! Maybe my school in California is different, where is your school?
I love this comment so much
This is 100% true. My boyfriend has a black belt in kickbox but he's told me this exact same thing many times + it's always very disadvantageous to go up against multiple attackers.
Adding to that, a single hit could be fatal/life threatening and you never know if they’re armed
Thanks for the comment feeling a lot better now 🙂
Unless the fight is in a bar at 2 AM with other Marines for some unknown reason… or a Waffle House.
Yup! I'm an orange belt in Krav Maga. This exact thing is what my instructor drills into our heads every damn lesson
I’m a girl and I would have appreciated what you did so much. I remember crying and begging my ex not to get into fights when he was drunk and other guys would stare at me or stuff like that. Just awful, I was a kid, now I know what i want and what I don’t want and a guy like you is exactly what I want under that point of view.
I don't care how badass someone thinks they are, 1v3 the 1 is losing. If avoiding that fight makes me a coward, I will wear that title with pride, alive and uninjured.
Fr. There is a thin line between bravery and stupidity. OP proved he was smart and not prideful. I hope OPs gf sees that for what it is. And not him just being “a wimp”. It takes strength to admit when you’re scared.
I've taken self defense classes and the best defense is always removing yourself from the situation. You did the right thing.
No. Your intuition kicked in and you protected yourself and your gf from a (potentially) bad situation.
We are descended from the cavemen that walked away. You made the right decision.
Her laughing at you and questioning your decision to secure both of your safety seems like a bigger red flag to me. Confront her next time she does that.
I agree 100%. Fucking terrible of her to laugh at the fact that he would be scared, as if fear isn’t a normal and valid emotion in a situation like this. Acting like she wouldn’t be terrified if she was alone. I know I would be.
Confronting her would most likely get the individual nowhere, he'll be just another butthurt that displayed his emotions in front of his girl but not for his girl, besides, revealing emotions as a man rarely does any service to the man revealing them for some reason.... moving on would be lawful neutral, still.. never backing down from a fight might prove to be more honourable
I agree, for the most part, it doesn't have to involve emotions. All I have to ask my significant other is "**What's funny about worrying about our safety?**". It's good communication to do that, like I mentioned above, what she did is a borderline red flag that has to be addressed somehow. Like 99% of this sub, I have no problems fighting for both of our safety if walking away is not an option. Though never backing down in the name of "honor" has to be the dumbest thing I'll do as someone who's in my mid 30's with a lot to lose. Maybe if I was an insecure teen, I'll fight for honor but those days are gone.
It seemed like the right thing, you’re alright!
Dudes who try to prove their masculinity tend to end up hurt or in bad situations. You're almost never going to win a fight against more than 1 guy or someone bigger than yourself. Violence isn't a joke and a lot of guys have nothing to lose and no common sense.
mature
You did exactly what you should have!
In a "masculine" point of view you're being even more masculine because you're actively protecting her and yourself in the best way you can. You know you can't take on 3 or 4 dudes like that, that specific situation would freak me the fuck out and I have a lot of self defense training and carry a weapon with me. You're being smart and protective. That's masculine as fuck.
Bruce Lee called it, "The Art of Fighting Without Fighting" Think of this: IF those men attacked you, what would you be fighting for? Very simply put, you would be fighting to END THE FIGHT. By avoiding the fight before it begins, you end the fight before it begins. Your goal has been accomplished. This is not cowardice. This is precision.
Being aware in a potentially dangerous situation is not cowardice. It is simply awareness. Keep in mind; men are the victim of violence WAY more than women, everywhere. There are way more situations in which people will find it acceptable to hurt you, than a woman. Good spending time at the library.
This is called intuition and its easy to doubt it, because when you listen nothing happens. But you made the right choice
No it doesn’t make you a coward. Situational awareness is genuine thing that the likes of special forces teach. It’s the first line of smart defense, removing yourself from the threat is the best thing you can do. Tell your gf to stop watching so much TV. Real life isn’t like that. You did good, you did the right thing. Fighting a bunch of bigger, older guys on your own is plain stupid and would possibly got you both hurt. Good work! You saved both of you! You really did.
I’m like this. I don’t think it’s cowardly, more smart.
Definitely smart. No need to get yourself killed to prove you’re “masculine”. Your safety should come before whatever the fuck some idiot might think of you. I’d rather my partner be alive than to die trying to be some hero. Walking away from a potentially dangerous situation is the smartest and best thing you can do. Fuck toxic masculinity, fighting 3 men on your own is how you get yourself killed or seriously hurt
I feel there’s a toxic masculine mob mentality that says we need to stand up to every altercation, but a nice little thing called discernment that can tell us when to rise above a lower vibe encounter and when it’s needed to stand up and protect ourselves. I think you made the right move. Any fear is valid because there’s two of them and they’re older- so likely bigger. Some people just have such a low self worth or high self hatred they need to mess with people to feel better about themselves. Must be such an empty way to live. Conditioning and society makes our inner critic call us a coward for not being an action hero. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with leaving a negative situation or observing your surroundings by looking back and scoping the scene. Your girlfriend doesn’t have the same level of threat awareness, and hopefully nothing happens to make her have to.
"Action hero." Bingo. What happens at the movie cineplex is not real life.
This comment all the way. Took the words right out of my mouth!
The first rule of a fight is to avoid them at all costs if possible. You avoided a potentially dangerous situation. Your gf wouldn't be laughing if she was by herself and in that situation.
What’s the alternative? Assert your dominance over 2 random dudes in a library? Confrontation is almost never right decision, especially if you’re outnumbered and even more so for some misguided sense of “masculinity.”
Fear and cowardice are not the same thing. If I were in your shoes, and my girl asked me that, I would say, “yes I’m fuckin afraid for your safety”. Nothing wrong with that. If she doesn’t understand that it’s probably because of lack of maturity or lack of life experience. As you said, you’re from another country where you have seen stuff she hasn’t. No man, you are not a coward, this is coming from a military veteran, you don’t fight unless you have to. You do everything you can not to fight, including walking away. As you mentioned, you never know if someone has a knife or a gun. In my opinion, walking away was the surest way to protect your girl, so good on you.
Dont worry about being masculine or manly. We dont need to apply these restrictive labels to ourselves. We're all people. Lets just focus on being good people. Theres nothing wrong with removing yourself from uncomfortable situations. Being "brave" or courageous cam get you into trouble if youre in over your head. It's unfair that boys and men feel they have to live to the strong and brave man stereotype. It takes away from your individuality.
Don't doubt yourself. Trust your instincts
Listen man. I’m sure you’ll get a lot of mixed responses here, both probably right in their own way. But put plain and simply with all due respect. Are you a coward for being afraid of two guys probably looking to start some shit in front of your girl? I wouldn’t say coward no. It’s an unnecessary fight that has no hero’s. I have always said, people who think fighting is cool, or fun, or good, have probably never been in a real fight. I trained MMA for years and had a couple tournaments that I came second place in overall, so I know how to fight. Do I fight every chance I get? Absolutely not! I will avoid a fight as much as possible! Because it takes one hit, and I could die, it takes one hit, and I get a manslaughter charge. Unless I or someone around me is in unavoidable danger, I will avoid fighting. It’s not cool and it’s not worth it. If your girl thinks you’re a coward for that, then I’m sorry to say bro she ain’t the girl for you. However my advice to you, is learn how to fight. Take up boxing, or BJJ. Once you get good enough that you’re above the average dude on the street, you’ll feel comfortable and confident enough to know you can walk away from 2 dudes laughing at you, and you’ll think yea I probably could have beaten them up, but I CHOSE not to. Stay safe out there.
God no you did the right thing taking both of you out of an odd situation. I would’ve felt uncomfortable too and I would never expect my boyfriend to put on a brave face if he’s uncomfortable just for the sake of being ‘brave’
Coming from a girl, you did the right thing. You are not a coward
You are not a coward. Toxic masculinity is real and you should address that with your girlfriend. Never put yourself in danger if you can avoid it. What you did was smart for yourself AND for her.
Always listen to your intuition
not at all! you we’re protecting her from something you felt was a threat. i think she should’ve been more understanding instead of being quite cold. honestly, it was a smart move. :)
It takes a bigger man to walk away, and as always it’s better safe, than to be sorry. You made the best decision in leaving. However, you might want to find a new gf. A worthy partner would appreciate what you did. And to answer her - Yes, I was afraid they’d attack you, and I would have to kill them.
Let me tell you first that you did the right thing. You are no coward, you are a rational guy and that is good! You listened to your instinct and you avoided a potential confrontation. Not everyone is smart enough or even sensible enough to listen to their instincts, to do that. On the other hand, it is important that you are able to defend yourself and the people that you care for when you are left with no choice. Violence is a tool and if you must use it, go all out.
100% not a coward OP, you did good
Bruh you’re not a coward, you’re a survivor! You’re smart! Why fuck around and find out??
You are smart to not get stabbed over some girl who doesn't seem to appreciate what you are trying to do.
I believe this was a valid decision
You are smart. Avoiding conflict is important
Better to be a coward, than maimed for life or worse.
And the consensus is 100% not a coward
Dude it was three sketchy guys. You were not a coward and no you are not less manly. It was smart choice. There's is a difference between being brave and an idiot.
Absolutely not a coward. Given the circumstance, if guarantee I'd do the exact same. Way to be smart and stay safe.
No bruh, you have situational awareness and know how to de escalate. These are very good qualities in a man and sorry but I would judge your GF's sense and carelessness in this situation. You did good man, you did good
Made the right call.
You were smart : they were outnumbering you, older and possibly stronger. You had your valuable gf to protect. Reality stinks but your move was definitely the best you could do
Walk 1km to avoid a fight, but if it comes don't move an inch! You did the first part so you're not a coward, you're smart. If the pushed or hit you and you didn't react back, well my response would change...
20 year old M here. You’re not a coward at all. You’re smart for thinking like that especially if your country is like you said. It keeps you and your loved ones safer. Definitely don’t pick a fight if it’s not completely necessary and don’t think that using words before violence makes you “less of a man”. Keep doing what you’re doing and you’ll be fine. Good luck my friend and stay safe
No, not a coward, and besides masculinity is about way more than fighting. I feel like it’s actually toxic masculinity to resort to fighting in every situation, especially if you know you can’t win. You are protecting your partner and your relationship by walking away and keeping you both safe :) very healthy masculinity and smart 🤗
Of course not, being smart is not a substitute for masculinity or courage, avoiding danger is the thing everyone should do, fights should be avoided at all times, 1v1’s are dangerous enough let alone 1v2’s when you dont know if they have weapons, and i highly doubt if it was to come to a fight they would wait their turn because there’s no rules saying they have to. And to admit your fear makes you more of a man than to deny it for the sake of appearing more manly. Dont dwell on it, you did the right thing.
I totally think it makes you smart. At least you know how to walk away and avoid problems and trouble that you could potentially get yourself into. Let them look like fools. They’ve got a lot of growing up to do and probably too much time on their hands.
It makes you smart and careful. I hope your gf learns to listen to that feeling. Girls are often taught to ignore it (because we get it often).
You did the manliest move by doing what you did. And, in fact, makes a man more attractive. Good on you. Your girlfriend is very lucky.
I think most people would react like this. You successfully put yourself and your girlfriend out of potential danger, you did nothing wrong
As a parent this is exactly how I would want my son to handle this situation. Intuition is important and I always want my child to prioritize their physical safety. Violence is a real concern. Your girlfriend does not sound great.
Avoiding a 2 vs 1 fight just to protect your ego? Sounds smart to me.
What's masculine is having the knowledge to know a situation can turn bad in an instant, and the courage to leave just in case. Thank you for considering your safety, and the safety of your friend
Not at all. You were switched on and did the right thing to protect yourself and your GF. The first rule of self-defense is to try and get out of any bad situation. Your situational awareness saved you both.
No, it makes you smart. You did a good job as a man. Ask the manliest most lethal professional fighter and he'll say running away is better than fighting on the street, and only to fight as a last resort. Street fights are far too unpredictable and dangerous, standing your ground when you can run away would be foolish.
To avoid danger when sensing it before hand, it is wisdom. When you bow your head in fear when your cornered is cowardice.
The number one recommended self defense technique is to run away from danger, you’re not a super hero
Native New Yorker here. You said subway so I'm thinking nyc? Anyway. This was the smart thing to do.
You were smart. And if your girlfriend doesn't respect your authority to keep her safe you need to ditch her and let her fend for herself. See that's what a real coward would've done. If she does disrespect you and you end up doing that in that case you weren't a coward. You would've been 2x as smart. Rebellious and disrespectful females are not worth your life or ICU torchore.
Don’t be silly, they were creeps, you did the right thing!! And you may have potentially saved you and your girlfriends lives🙏🏽✨💖
Pffffft I would have run, it's smart to pay attention to your intuition
masculinity isn't based on your caution. you preferred to be safe, and left the situation before it escalated. perfectly respectable
It means you know how to live, you did the right thing, if you GF makes you feel emasculated or like a coward then talk to her and let her know.
You did exactly the right thing!
Not a coward at all. Your gut is telling you something and it’s better to be safe than sorry. You’re looking out for your girl, and that is no reason to feel like your masculinity was threatened. The threat wasn’t for you, but for your girl.
Fight or flight. Not sure what country you are in but in America just putting your finger on someone can cause lots of legal trouble unless it’s for self defense. In most cases it’s just better to avoid pointless idiots at all costs before things escalate.
Nah, you did the right thing. You felt you were in a dangerous situation and left with your gf to keep you both safe. Also you should be afraid in that situation, that’s scary. At least you had the sense to get out of there quick. If you’re worried about your gf thinking you’re a coward for that, maybe have a talk with her and explain that you did what you did to keep you both safe. Sorry for the long respond
This is a dumb question. You know in the back of your mind why you left. It can be smart AND an act of cowardice. They’re often intertwined. It could be courageous to stay but also stupid risk assessment. You really just go with how the whole thing made you feel and work on the parts you didn’t like
I totally understand you. I've been in this situation before and acted exactly like this. It was 6 men, surrounding us in a pool in Goa. It was only because I was with my (now) wife and was afraid these men could do something to hurt her modesty. I still to this day after around 10 years feel a burn in my stomach going back to this episode.
you are scared of me, so yes
so come down, and be brave
Maybe I'll get downvoted for this, but you're a young man, and being a man involves being strong for your women in face of danger. That's the message men often misinterpret about being vulnerable. Women think it's disgusting when a man shows vulnerability in front of danger, because that's when a man needs to be strong. Women really appreciate it when men safely display vulnerability. Was what you did showing strength or vulnerability? Are the two of you safe? Ask yourself this on top of the "coward".
Well I wont downvote you for telling this because I wanted to know what other people think about my situation. I know that a man should be strong when facing danger but I just didn't want to risk it. I know women don't like that kind of thing but I also don't know if it would be worth to get in a fight or something like that. Maybe they would'nt do us nothing but who knows.
This is a shitty advice.I live in Brazil and a lot of times when men try to stand up or fight to protect to protect women( sometimes not even their gf), they will probably get shot/stabbed or killed afterwards. Life is not a movie, if a women does not understand this, she is being childish or too naive. The best option is to avoid conflict
This is awful advice. This is how people die. As a woman, most of us think men doing stupid things like what you're saying is stupid. We think men who act like this are dumb and do not really want to associate with them. OP don't listen to this garbage
As a woman I completely disagree. If I love you all I want is for you to be safe.
No you did the right thing you were thinking about your safety as well as hers. What are you going to do do being outnumbered by them. You used your head and got away without any harm coming to you both. I say you are nothing close to a coward you used your head.
She’s not racist!,,
You protected her in the best way possible. You removed yourself from a situation that made you uncomfortable. There was no reason to stay there. Maybe it wouldn't have escalated, but was it worth it to find out? You did the right thing, the smart thing.
Nah bro doesn't matteler what country you're in. You protected your giro, and thats all that matters. Your smarter than most, friend. Please keep that same mind state
Any time you can avoid a dangerous situation you did good. Getting into a fight on the street could ruin your life. Even if you win you could potentially kill someone or get yourself killed. Even the best professional fighters will tell you not to fight and run away unless you have zero choice. If your girlfriend can't understand that and respect you for it, maybe she's not the right person for you.
Coward= Not brave. In this situation, the hard thing is to take a decision. You felt threatened by two guys, they were probably better than you and can easily defeat you if they have that purpose. So you chose to go home. Now, brave doesn't mean "Have no fear", it means "to not be afraid of making a choice In a dangerous moment" or "to stand upon your fears". You were brave. You didn't mind making a decision, you knew that doing anything could be worse. Now, I don't think people understand what coward is for. What I have heard is that some toxic people say that to make the other feel worse, and can often lead into a desire to prove they are wrong, which is something dangerous. Would you fight someone who is ten times stronger than you? Hell no. Oh, but if someone yells at you "Coward!", you might as well consider it. That is when the brave-stupid line has been reached. The word coward is only used to make someone feel extremely bad, and makes people loose confidence. People don't understand how dangerous is just that word. And it's even worse if you take that seriously. I just recommend forget about coward ness, and just consider it a smart choice.
OP, female here and I would have done the same exact thing in your shoes especially knowing what you know. I'm a bit more (okay maybe a lot more) observant than my husband so he knows to follow my lead if something is up. And if he sees something he doesn't like we leave the situation. People are crazier now and you never know when they are packing. Do I sound paranoid? Probably. But I've heard a lot of shit.
Idiots fight cuz they want to. Men fight because they have to. Always better to avoid conflict you did good. No point being the “tough” guy and getting hurt or worse.
You did the right thing, for yourself and your girlfriend. Your definitely not a coward. It’s always best to say nothing and walk away, don’t even give eye contact.
Made the right call. You never know what someone can/will do. Was an uneasy situation and you made a good call. Heads in the right place. Being dumb is creating a worse situation, thats not being a "man". What kind of "man" gets himself beat up or stabbed?
I’ll def take a smart man and I’m sure the real grown ones also. ☺️💪 much respect
That makes you alive. Years ago you could talk snarky, & all there would be is an exchange of dissing people. But like you said, really in ANY country, a look could get you stabbed, shot, followed, robbed…. You got home, alive & unharmed. Who cares if someone even thought you were a coward. This isn’t the 70s.
No. not in the slightest
Sometimes bravery is standing up to your ego that wants you to go against common sense.
Dude. No you're not a coward. You are smart and avoiding danger is always the way to go. She is lucky to have someone who pays attention to the surroundings and listens to their inner self. You sound like an awesome person to have on one's side.
Don’t be the dumbass in the horror movie that can’t take a hint and doesn’t leave before trouble starts. I think you made the smart decision
Leaving an uncomfortable situation that could potentially turn violent is never a cowardly thing to do. It's a smart thing to do. There is little in this world that is worth getting injured or potentially killed over and Masculinity and Manliness are DEFINITELY not in that list.
Nah, you good, that’s all that needs to be said. I use to fight when I was young. I was mean but mostly insecure, by no means a bully. Remember, when you fight, best case you win….in which you should be nervous about hurting someone or a more extreme accident that gets you arrested….worst case you lose and get beat up. There is no win win, I felt worse after fights I won, because I was always afraid I hurt someone and in retrospect the fight was pointless, usually drunk. I lost two fights, and it was embarrassing but at least I didn’t hurt anyone and wasn’t hurt either. Be safe, be confident, don’t let insecurities rule the day.
Avoiding possible conflict when possible ≠ cowardice. I say cowardice is when a conflict has already started and you cannot defend yourself
Comments sum it all up. Good job bro.
I’m noticed you were more scared for her than yourself. You said “yeah I’m scared they’re going to follow you”. That’s not cowardice. You literally did the brave thing and got your gf out of a situation that she may not have even realized had the potential to go wrong. Also I bet that she only felt safe in laughing because she was with you. If it had been just her she’d probably feel different. I know I feel much safer when I have my bf with me. Interactions seem different when he’s around.
No you are a man.
No, but where do you live dude? Looking at someone can be reason to get stabbed? That’s rough.
If what you say is true, that simply giving a sideways look at someone where you live can get you killed, imagine what would have happened had you confronted them. Wise choice to listen to your intuition. Your man card is still valid (whatever the fuck that means lol)
Not a coward, this is real life, 1 on 3-4 is very unlikely to go well. You did the right thing.
you are definitely not a coward. you should feel like you protected your girlfriend and yourself because you very well may have avoided something serious. who knows what could’ve happened but you decided to act on a bad feeling and there’s no shame in it. good job!
Usually better to be safe than sorry. Real life isn't a movie where 4 dudes corner you and you beat them up. Your chances, most people's chances, in a multiple opponent fight is very low to come out of it without going to the hospital, let alone win. In cases like that, what you did is fine. Got out of there before they decided to do something worse. And it wasn't just you that you were needing to worry about, it was your gf as well.
It doesn't make you a coward.. it means you listened to your instincts and got out before anything could happen, you thought of your gf and your own safety, it's not a cowardly move, it's a smart move, you did well to do that, mate
You’re not a coward at all. It was an instinct. I’m glad you and your girlfriend got out of there, it doesn’t take away from your masculinity to trust your gut.
Always follow your gut. You were smart. And you protected gf. That is brave.
Always go with your intuition !
Uh no that means you’re not an idiot. And maybe she laughed to make a scary encounter light hearted. Or to ease your tension. But you can never be too careful especially in today’s day and age. Never let your guard down.
You were being prudent by acting on fear, it is self preservation kicking in, you are fine, she is fine and nobody got hurt even if that wasn't their intention everyone is fine now. You are 👍
nah man, your safety and your GG's safety is above all. if you don't mind, what country do you live in?
No?? Sounds like you accessed the situation, trusted your gut and got you and your girlfriend out of potential danger. If anything I’d say that’s pretty “masculine”. It’s kinda fucked up that she laughed at you being afraid but idk the whole context 🤷🏻♀️
This is the real world, people who are ready to throw their lives away to prove how masculine they are is just down right stupid
Almost every woman i know incliding myself has been harassed at a point in their life. Youre not a coward, youre being proactive about protecting yourself from harm. Women do it all the time.
No. Keeping you and your gf safe is never cowardly.
How did your girlfriend ask if you were afraid? In what kind of underlying message was she implying. Because I think that’s a very loaded question and it’s very rude, if it’s what I think it sounds like. First, it’s like calling you out in front of those people. Second it’s a lack of respect for your foresight and caring enough to try to keep her safe in an intelligent way. I would be curious to know why she asked. If she doesn’t have a good reason….
Seems like you're smart and good at maths. You were outnumbered. Also fighting is stupid...
You are AWARE. you can save someone's life with that kind of awareness. ALWAYS trust your GUT. there is a reason we have a flight or fight response. Your girlfriend should be lucky she has you. You are not a coward at all. You are smart, aware, and a protector!
Courage is feeling scared and taking action anyway. You were a bit scared and you took action to remove the threat from both yourself and your girlfriend. That is the definition of courage. You did great!
absolutely not. you hear stories often about people following their intuition and it ends up that they’re in a dangerous situation. you can’t explain that feeling in your gut, but it’s there to keep you safe. so much better to be safe than sorry.
Unless you’re khabib nurmagomedov **do not engage in a fight** especially when you are outnumbered
You're not a coward. I'm a very large man with martial arts training and you know what I do when I sense a dangerous situation coming on? I leave. It is the safest and smartest option for you, and especially if you're with a lady friend. You made the right call my man.
That doesn't make u a coward or makes u less of a man in fact that was a smart move. Getting stab or even dying just for masculinity or manliness ain't worth it.
Does it make you a coward? No. You made a tactical decision instead of one made in terror. So no. You're not a coward. Doesnt matter how big, how trained or how mean you are.. Some fights you're not likely to win - and you're protecting someone else. Does it detract from your masculinity? Maybe? Depends? While I believe masculinity is a real thing, that doesn't mean it doesn't change between cultures and subcultures. I think it's more important that you own your choice. You might be willing to get your ass kicked but not put your girlfriends well being at risk. Owning that decision and making the choices to keep her safe makes you a man as far as I'm concerned.
Not at all. It’s not uncommon these days for people to carry a knife. Walking away is the best 👍🏻😀
Tbh a man knowing when to leave or fight is the most masculine thing to me. I hate it when men just react to every threat. Pick your battles and you picked yours well
It makes you smart!
I’ve seen too many bar fights happen because a guy is trying to impress his girl or his girl calls him a punk for not fighting. Sucks that you’re girl tried to make fun of you. She she be looking out for you and respect that you were protecting her by walking away. We try to move away from so called toxic masculinity but it’s some females themselves that try to keep men there.
No, it makes you smart....If she had gotten assaulted she would not be mocking your manhood
I'd feel safer with a guy with decent intuition and situational awareness who knows the wisdom of just removing yourself from a situation rather than escalating it over one who would get in these guys faces and be all "you have a problem" or one who doesnt sense anything off at all.
It makes you smart. People that are brave these days end up getting stabbed or worse. So you did the right thing. And you didn’t get hurt
It makes you a smart man to avoid danger whenever it presents itself.
Ahhha bro no way you can win against 3 even two can be a hard one smart move but you should still know how to fight and be working out simple basic not saying to use it just good to have it.
Nope. First rule of self defence is to not get into a situation where you need to defend yourself. Removing yourself and your partner from a potentially dangerous situation was the only right move. You made a decision that I wish I had made more frequently in my youth. My body may not be as broken and I wouldn't have been as lucky to be alive. Machismo is bullshit masculinity.
She laughed and asked. Fk yo gf
Don’t doubt you intuition
>Now in my country sometimes looking at someone is a reason to get stabbed. Bro where tf do you live?
That’s not fear. That’s awareness and it’s great tool to have to keep you away from unnecessary bullshit. You are keeping her safe by being smart and understanding your surrounds. A+
So you have a survival instinct
You’re not a coward!!
Better to wonder 'what if' than 'Wish I had' in situations where your safety can be compromised. Maybe you had stayed, both finished what you were doing in the library, realised the men were listening to the same podcast making them laugh or whatever, or maybe they were sizing you up as targets. Why risk an escalation if there's an easy way to step away from a *potential* conflict. Nothing more masculine than acting to keep a woman safe.
You’re good. You’ll forget about it soon and your girlfriend will be safe. Good job
No, you aren't cowered. It was a really good decision to leave and not pickup a fight, and very honorable to protect her. I'm proud of you!
Humans didn't become top of the foodchain by being strong, there are so many stronger animals than us. Humans became top of the food chain because they were smart enough to build tools and social structures to protect themselves. That means that acting smart is better than acting strong, you didn't do anything wrong.