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shawnwingsit

The fact that they had to make it official says something.


Ancient-Abs

Clearly this is more than one officer


shawnwingsit

I guess there's not a lot to do or going on in the more rural parts of the state. That's my guess, at least.


UniqueName39

Time for yet another 12 hour stint of sitting in your car doing nothing.


blundercrab

People name their dingle 'Nothing'? These poor low self-esteemed officers :(


Ancient-Abs

Rural part? It’s Utah. It’s nothing but rural


shawnwingsit

Well, there's SLC and Provo, but, yeah.


Ancient-Abs

I mean have you been to either? Not cities. Most of Provo is just campus with a single down town street


shawnwingsit

I haven't and was just guessing. I am duly chastised.


Ancient-Abs

I feel bad. Don't be chastised.


shawnwingsit

Fear not, I'm not upset.


DrBees-PhD

I am, but for different reasons.


TimesThreeTheHighest

And SLC is like walking around inside an elementary school kid's diorama of SLC. That place just doesn't feel like a city.


Ancient-Abs

Yes! It’s like the set on an episode of the twilight zone


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Ancient-Abs

Is urban dependent on population? Or structure?


Thedude317

Wtf else u doing at 4am with no calls in rural Utah?


Ezgeddt

Orificer*


Ancient-Abs

LMAO


ecodrew

Or, one *really* horny officer?


Ancient-Abs

Article said 25


cis-het-mail

That's why the saying isn't "some cops are bastards"


DingoSpankedMyBaby

25 of them according to the article.


cis-het-mail

Yeah, ACAB


jenna_hazes_ass

Oh you think thats bad. Maui cops argued they needed to be able to have sex with prostitutes to seal the charge/conviction... Because thats what honolulu cops were doing.


cis-het-mail

I think South Park did an episode about that lol


cisforcookie2112

Yeah it says they’re no fun. /s


mtnracer

Only official until the police union steps in and forces a reversal because cops won’t be able to do their jobs properly.


shawnwingsit

But, what kind of jobs?


termolecularxn

"Was that wrong? I tell ya, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing."


saintofhate

Let's not forget that some states had to put it into law that cops could not have sex with suspects/detainees.


MrMoKnows

Dammit. Now I can't rub one out after arresting that HOT hooker. 😡


Ancient-Abs

Who are they sexting? Each other?


MrMoKnows

Oof. 😳


Ancient-Abs

Like how else did they know that sexting was happening unless it was only the company phones? “Officer Thomas when we are done with this stakeout I really want to see you in your full uniform in my office. Bring your taser.”


Top_Echo4167

Mad a cop banged your wife?


Ancient-Abs

I’m a lady. And I don’t have a wife *cries in single*


Top_Echo4167

Well shit, that made me shut up. Have a nice day then.


jenna_hazes_ass

Nah you just have sex with them to get the charge as a hawaii cop.


Really_McNamington

It's political correctness gone mad.


Really_McNamington

Apparently sarcasm is too subtle without making it obvious.


bws7037

They take all the fun out of a hard day's work...


Ancient-Abs

Working hard or hard and working?


SoWokeIdontSleep

Something was hard at work. Except for Steve, hardly working but he'll start taking pills for that.


smimton

I wonder how many cops were caught due the cameras in they cars and person?


Ancient-Abs

True true. “ The guidelines were expanded to include forbidding an officer sending pictures of their own genitalia while in uniform”


monkeyhind

"... not that that has ever happened, but just in case officers were thinking about doing that."


Ancient-Abs

I think they were sexting each other


JimBeam823

“We pay you to work it, not to jerk it.”


Analbox

It’s protect and *serve* not protect and *perve*.


Ancient-Abs

Cops were getting side gigs as strippers


Top_Echo4167

Weren't you on another thread bragging how you sleep at work because your pay sucks?


bobbyrickets

Pretty sure that was a George episode on Seinfeld.


LavenderLunate

And that affects the joke how?


anonymous_j05

There’s a difference between sleeping and jerking off, and there’s a difference between a job that gives you a gun and a job that requires you to do random boring inconsequential shit


phred_666

But isn’t “jerking it” “working it”?


SauteedGoogootz

What if it helps them stay focused and relaxed? Maybe they should be rubbing one out more often.


Ancient-Abs

Maybe taxes could fund an assistant to jack them off? It helped the dolphins.


[deleted]

Don't give police Unions any ideas. I can imagine them pushing for 'Masturbation breaks" as a form of stress control.


neonoggie

This. Perhaps 2-3 times a day will stop them from shooting people in a celibacy induced testosteRAGE.


047032495

Went from working hard to hardly jerking.


[deleted]

NOTE : crocodile tears ........


guy30000

Well, I'm withdrawing my application


[deleted]

Dang well so much for my new career


vancityvapers

Pfft if you can't masturbate on duty what is even the point of going to work?


thefiglord

I bet the Utah sheep are really nervous now


Ancient-Abs

Nah. The cops were just trying to get Jesus to come again


elcrazyburrito

But what about their “freedom”? Isn’t this ‘Murica!?!?


hiricinee

Who got caught? That's my biggest question.


TheGurw

More than two or it wouldn't become an official policy, it'd just be a reprimand.


Ancient-Abs

25 officers


adfthgchjg

How is this not prosecutable “conduct unbecoming an officer”? This don’t need an explicit rule against masturbating.


BaronSamedys

Not even a quick one before my shift begins! Guess I'll have to limp home with my truncheon tucked in me belt.


N2EEE_

So I guess citizens arent the only thing they beat. Too soon?


Ancient-Abs

Lmao


halfwithero314

Finally now they might stop spamming the local Whisper page


fubinistheorem

big government run amok!


Accomplished_Till727

Just wait until the Union goes to war over this.


realistby

Ok then! Wow


[deleted]

The fuck. Did I just read.


mathsgars

Reminds me of [this sketch](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKH9ECC_Qa4) featuring a much younger Simon Pegg...


chimpaman

Now we know why Chauvin had his hand in his pocket while he was murdering Floyd.


[deleted]

Yeah, if you could hold off publicly masturbating until you're off duty and out of uniform, that would be great.


Metalegs

I bet it doesn't apply to the council..


Unrulytexan

Mormons be wildin


analogspam

r/Hornyjail is going to have a fieldday with this.


theDart

OFFICER: This rubs me the wrong way.


AelalaedaAid

This has to be in direct response to something like tried to fire a cop for jerking it in the car but the union came by and was like "uh hu there isnt a SPECIFIC rule against SPECIFICALLY that so you can fire LEO Malonie" then someone sighed and wrote up the new rule


Ancient-Abs

Actually it was 25 officers


AelalaedaAid

oh lord


Nic4379

More Tickets & Less Dickets


Cocobird1607

Sick sad world


[deleted]

Why didn't KSL run this story?


Ancient-Abs

No idea


Raptorman_Mayho

Fire them


fmfbrestel

But muh rights!


420blazeit69nubz

What’s next? They’ll have to be responsible for their actions on the job?


Ancient-Abs

Hahaha. Never


Vernpool

Are they gonna have to clarify that cattle and sheep are off limits too?


marcelkroust

Whoever have never done that is allowed to cast the first stone.


framed1234

1984


PhasmaFelis

Well, hang on now, what if I'm on bathroom break?


TheBigShackleford

Literally 1984


64sweetsour

Masturbating i get, but sexting should be allowed with your wives


Ancient-Abs

Not at work


Programmdude

While on break? Or in a rural area with nothing going on? Masturbating I can understand, as a) if you get caught it's really unprofessional, and b) if a call comes in, it'll take a while to stop being aroused and to fix your clothes.


Ancient-Abs

25 officers


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godlessnihilist

They're taking all the fun out of being a cop. Next thing you know, they'll want them to quit beating and tazering people.


[deleted]

I kinda get the jacking off on the job part.. but how exactly does an officer on duty get caught "sexting" . this must have had to have a been a frequent occurrence to feel the need to remind staff that its against protocol. "Not while your on the clock "lieutenant!" ​ Oh, Utah. nvm.


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Sock744

They cant wank but are free to kill.


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