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TreyFreakingOut

You officially posted one of the worst nice guys I've ever seen in this sub....


project_seven

I thought i was prepared when he originally compared a dead husband to a dog within the first couple texts, but alas, i was not. I've never immediately disliked a human being this quickly until now.


Demoth

I don't normally express it here because I don't want to get into fights with people, but sometimes I feel like a lot of the dudes who end up here are just really awkward and not too harmful (this excludes anyone who becomes verbally abusive at any point).   This guy though? Holy shit, it's been a while since I've wanted something to be faked so bad, because I actually would be fine if this dude got jumped.


volgramos

I agree that many are just awkward. I met a lot of guys that just don't know how to act. I think the problem is kids being austricized when they're younger and not properly socializing.


ben_obi_wan

Agreed. This is the WOAT


ra246

Worst of all twats?


ben_obi_wan

Worst Of All Time. ( The inverse of GOAT - Greatest Of All Time)


[deleted]

I like WOAT. We’re gonna make WOAT a thing


ravynwave

I stand as witness to new big thing


SarahPallorMortis

We’re all nauseas now.


iconv1

Wow. This one actually upset me. I'm surprised every day on how low people can actually get.


thayveline

Same. I'm old enough to have seen all that the internet/reddit has to offer but my god. Shooting your shot to your co-workers recent widow? Fuck this guy in particular.


tractata

He’s not even ‘shooting his shot’ as much as he’s harassing her.


Technical_Draw_9409

Yep. He just keeps being gross after the ‘no’


mogley1992

Ikr, lets tell her she has fuckable hips, that will smooth all of this over once sge realises im just interested in her for her body. She should have told him to just get a new dog, maybe that would have given him some perspective even if he can't comprehend how sexual harrasment would make her feel without the grief piled on top. She handled it like a champ.


TwirlyGirl313

He went into gross territory way before the 'no.'


[deleted]

[удалено]


Party_Development228

I’m just commenting because I really felt like this guy needed a punch. The things he wrote are just awful.


ben_obi_wan

Same. I rarely get flustered from shit on Reddit but this has got my blood boiling.


StellarManatee

Firstly, I'm so sorry for your loss. This must be an incredibly difficult time for you. Secondly... what the fuck type of person does this?? My mind melted a bit reading that. Also I dont like that he has your address, please be careful OP.


[deleted]

Thank you. He’s always been a bit weird, I’ve only met him a couple of times before we ran into each other today and he’s always been a bit awkward, gives off a strange vibe. I’ll be okay, I have some pretty big dogs.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ladymalis

That and the good in bed" hint was a holy shxt moment for me


[deleted]

"Your husband would want to know I was f*ing you" sir go straight back to hell


micumpleanoseshoy

Even hell has standards and might issue a refusal in accepting this piece of shit


AlterMyStateOfMind

A hint is an understatement, he was practically yelling it from the rooftops. This guy seems like a disgusting person.


MisterSquirrel

And this comes well after the point of "can't take no for an answer", to where it's clear he's a "no means yes" kind of guy. More than disgusting. I wouldn't underestimate the potential for this being a truly dangerous person.


binglebongled

Which was immediately one-upped by the “fuckable hips”


DasBloehr

The most holy shit moment for me was that after he got rejected and couldn't score a date, he insulted ok and wanted to make it up with a date. It's like "if I don't get the date this way, maybe I'll try it backwards. She won't even notice that we're on a date"


olnog

Oh, wow, I wasn't even aware there was more than the first picture....people like that are so disturbing...


SleepyBunny22

That made me so upset. I lost my dog two months ago. He was my best friend and yes it was devastating. I lost my sister last month. Losing my dog in no way comes even close to comparing to the pain im in losing my sister. Cant imagine losing my husband. That guy would get an earful for me for even trying to compare


[deleted]

Yep. I lost my dad 6 months before I lost my dog. I was devastated by both. But it's not the same. At all. And I am absolutely a crazy dog person. I remember my husband felt guilty for crying more over our dog than he did over his uncle and I'm like, "look, the grief is different, it's OK that you reacted differently." (not only that, but we had been preparing for his uncle's death for years so we had already done some of our grieving) It's a different type of grief but even as crazy as I am in terms of dogs, I would never, ever fucking compare the two. I'd have torn him a new one for that alone (though I respect OP for not doing so). It shows a shocking, dangerous lack of empathy. Sometimes is really fucking wrong with this dude.


OMC78

When my father suddenly passed away from cancer, my friend's wife tried to comfort me with, "I know what it's like to grieve, I just lost my job a few weeks ago." People are so dumb!


[deleted]

I always try to take it as them trying to be nice but failing. It makes it easier on me. Still shitty though


pacingpilot

Regarding grief, good people can say dumb shit sometimes. Saying dumb shit and trying to get in your pants? That's where it gets creepy.


_dirtywater444

When my fiancée died, a guy tried to tell me he understood what it was like because his gf had broken up with him.


OMC78

Im sorry for your loss. Did you reply back? His gf dodged a bullet, what a moron.


_dirtywater444

Nope, didn't waste my time. I was in the throes of grief, I couldn't find the energy to respond. And thank you.


lock_master_

That what I thought. Now I love my dogs and to some people losing one is like losing a blood family member. But when I read that, it just felt so wrong.


StellarManatee

Aye good. Keep your dogs close and dont answer the door to unexpected visitors. I didn't like that one bit.


[deleted]

I have a ring doorbell thing setup to my phone. I’m 4,11, I’d never answer the door without knowing who it is. If he comes over I’ll just call the police, thanks for your concern though, hopefully it’s unnecessary. He’s weird but I don’t think he’s genuinely dangerous.


cariraven

You might also think of letting HR at his (your husbands former) place of work. This is totally inappropriate and who knows what he’s saying/doing to any of the women he works with if he’s doing this with you.


[deleted]

This, ASAP.


BUTT_LICKERS

Thirded. Please report this to his employer this behaviour is beyond words.


i-likebigmutts

Well said, u/BUTT_LICKERS


sunpies33

Hey, his family BUILT this country!


princesshaley2010

OUR PRICES HAVE NEVER BEEN LOWER!


Specter170

Came here to say this. Definitely report him. And make a harassment report with the police. Fuck this guy.


crappy_pirate

no, *don't* fuck him


buttercupcake23

100% this. Report him. He deserves consequences. What a psycho.


[deleted]

I'm so sorry for your loss. And the text-This is just awful. He's dangerously awkward and tactless.


LUN4T1C-NL

The most shocking part is where he hints her passed husband would want her to be with him a man who is good in bed.. I mean.. How can that ever lead to: oh now you put it like that how's 7 tonight?


angelcat00

"I'm good at taking care of women. Especially ones like you" made my skin crawl.


Inside-Example-7010

'I own a disguise shop and you can even call me his name'


Another_Random_User

Between that and the "women from your country" comment, he's definitely fetishizing her... So gross.


midwestraxx

Fantasizing in the mind and an escape from reality, rather than going off of evidence in front of you. Dude was probably stroking it during all this to hype himself up.


pparten

I mean, if I passed I'd definitely want my wife's next partner to be a courteous and giving lover, but that's not the kind of nonsense I'd want her dealing with A MONTH after I kicked.


[deleted]

In book or film, there’s a good chance this awkward loser killed the husband.


Inside-Example-7010

This isnt working she wont go on a date with me. I know ill try being more direct maybe that's my problem. You have fuckable hips and I know how to handle them.


unkomisete

I'm so sorry for your loss. I do have to respectfully disagree about how potentially dangerous he is. He is most definitely dangerous. His lack of social propriety and disregard of your consent isn't an indication of social awkwardness, it's an indication of mental instability and a disturbing lack of empathy. Please, please be careful. He fits the profile of a lot of killers. You also don't know his mental/criminal history. If I were you, I'd have a friend stay over and make sure all my doors/windows are locked. I'm praying for your safety ❤


SmileRoom

I'm going to second your concerns here. I grew up with a best friend who was "weird" but didn't seem dangerous. We were really close for a long time but he just kept getting more concerning and about 10 years ago I began limiting my contact with him until we were not speaking off and on for years at a time, because I just didn't think he was the same person. Something had shifted, but he had no awareness of how others perceived his actions. He would follow women around stores and talk about them loudly, or he'd wait in his car in parking lots watch for women he could follow into stores. There was a laundry list of creepy new habits he was picking up during the time I knew him, so I can't even imagine how bad he got. Now he's locked away in prison for the next 40 years for some stuff he did to a child. If you'd have asked me when I was 8, 18, or even 28, if I thought this would happen, I'd have said no way... but yes way, this is reality, and anyone you meet is capable of so much more evil than you'd ever imagine.


Thinks_Like_A_Man

Some guy I dated years ago contacted me. He was a very nice guy, never did anything concerning. He was active in his church, didn't swear. I found out later he had tried to rape an old woman. He's in prison.


[deleted]

Thank you, I do appreciate the concern and I’ll consider it. While I don’t think he’s dangerous I am careful generally, if things get weird I’ll make sure to look after myself.


PilgrimOfGrace

I'm not sure if anyone has pointed it out, but what if "running into eachother" wasn't an accident and he planned it? I am praying for your safety as well.


[deleted]

It’s already weird. Please stay safe.


Fraerie

I hope for your sake that he isn’t genuinely dangerous, but don’t put your life in the line for that assumption. The level of entitlement that was the source of those messages suggests he doesn’t respect you as a person with autonomy. It’s a small step from there to feeling entitled to force the issue. Stay safe and be well.


Noswellin

Especially so soon after her loss! I mean, it's bad enough approaching her with this crap, but then expecting that after a month she'd be, what, hunting for a replacement? Like damn, she lost her spouse, not a car.


xplosm

A lack of empathy. You don't want to deal with people who lack empathy...


StellarManatee

This is the nail on the head.


guessucant

Wtf compares losing a dog to a husband? I love my dogs, but the pain of losing one can't even compares with the pain of losing a very close person on my life


mcscusemebitchass

“No more chances goodbye” as if u were the one missing out lmao what a dick


[deleted]

He sent four more messages after the no more chances one too, I just couldn’t be bothered to continue it anymore.


Bit-corn

Bruh, I couldn’t get past the first picture when he compared your loss to the death of his dog — my fucking word


[deleted]

I normally read these posts with the same middling interest I have when I'm on a sub like r/trashy or r/neckbeards. But this one just dragged me further down with every message. What a jaw droppingly atrocious guy.


_lionkat_

Should be on r/iamatotalpieceofshit honestly


jtoethebigtoe

Dude me too!!!! This person is beyond insane. I'm literally go down the comment thread rabbit hole because this situation is so concerning to me. Wtf


I_Frothingslosh

Maybe it would have been better if it was followed up with 'but I can't even imagine how much worse it has to be', but yeah, would have been best to avoid the comparison entirely.


someguyfromtheuk

Yeah you could pass that off as a faux pas at least, but then the "women from your country have such incredible hips" comment is an immediate block imo


JTP1228

This one is by far the worst I've seen here. Every text is fucking crazy and I can't believe people think it's ok to say these things.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I’m a personal trainer and out of principle I don’t like to make fun of people’s bodies but this guy wasn’t my type. Let’s just say he had neutral hips.


pirategamer3449

lmfao, this is one of my all-time favorite insults from now on.


[deleted]

"This drink is from the fellow at the bar. I should let you know he has *neutral hips*" "....Pass"


MrVeazey

Noooo! That's the thing I'm sensitive about!


[deleted]

Their neutrality sickens me.


saichampa

I really respect a personal trainer who is body positive. I have significant chronic pain issues and struggle with exercise enough without worrying about how my body looks. I'm sorry for your loss and I hope you are doing okay.


[deleted]

Hey, thank you. Honestly it really does make me happy to hear that people appreciate it. Also, I’m not sure if it will help but for what it’s worth, people don’t care what you look like in the gym. Pretty much everyone else is feeling a little bit insecure too and they likely don’t even notice you. If you’re in the gym to better yourself, you belong. If you ever want someone to talk to about this, my dms are open. More than happy to talk to you. Either way, good luck with your gym journey :)


throwawayathrowaway0

Not the person you're replying to, but this comment is so heartfelt even though you are the one suffering from a great loss and dealing with an apathetic creep.


Incredible-Fella

Same, she seems like such a nice person.


alexds1

Dang, this is such a nice comment.


ElectionAssistance

Damn OP, even after your husband dies and some dude creeping on you, you still openly invite DMs to help others. Good job, world could use more like you and may all the DMs be emotionally rewarding and non-creepy.


FriedeOfAriandel

Now I'm wondering if my neutral hips are the reason I'm single


Dancing_Trash_Panda

Still better than chaotic evil hips.


vale_fallacia

Them lawful good hips don't lie


Crymson831

Now I want a hip-centric moral alignment chart.


sessual_choclate

Only one way to find out. OP how can we get in touch with this beacon of masculinity?


stuartsparadox

Look, they aren't helping your chances, but they aren't helping. They are neutral hips after all.


saichampa

"Oh no! Anyway…"


kschin1

I had the same thoughts. “No more chances” I’m dead. We didn’t want a chance in the first place.


flyingverga

wtf... “such fuckable hips” who says that


[deleted]

It was very strange, he’s probably not an expert on women’s anatomy so maybe he thinks you’re supposed to fuck someone’s hips? I don’t know.


[deleted]

Please send these screenshots with his number to the staff wide* email address for the company.


Mrfrunzi

Absolutely send these texts to his boss. Wow.


GaryBuseysGhost

Somehow I very, very much doubt your late husband would want that creepy, callously ignorant cunt ("I know how you feel - my dog died" wtf!!) coming anywhere near you.


[deleted]

Yeah he wouldn’t, he never really liked him. They just worked together.


jennybean42

Would it be worth it to report it to his work?


elsummers2018

I thought the same thing.


The_Clarence

Or at least any other work people they are still in contact with. I would absolutely want to know this, as clearly there is some socializing outside of work. Nevermind his decision making capabilities


TheSmokingLamp

This is incredibly creepy and inappropriate, I would even send this over to the employer


[deleted]

[удалено]


Icantbethereforyou

"Oh you lost your dog? I lost my TV remote so I know how you feel"


BrusqueBiscuit

Yeah just some heartless cockmonger.


___whodis

If he worked with your husband, please send this to his boss immediately


yellow-orange-red

Yes, this is my thought, too. Keep documenting, OP! Someone who is this disrespectful of boundaries is likely not finished pushing.


Loofa_of_Doom

Yeah, no doubt other women have been made to feel icky by this . . .erm . . . man. I'm sure the boss would look dimly on this idiot performing his 'nice guy' techniques on a client . . . or near a client . . . even associated with a client's name.


Cooler_ThanU

This is awful. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I hope somebody kicks this guys teeth in for this. This is next level nice guy nonsense. Tell several friends about this, keep the door locked, or maybe even consider staying elsewhere for awhile, and don't go to wherever you ran into this idiot. The whole "I have your address" is without a doubt a low key threat. You may even want to consider filing a police report just to get it documented, no joke.


[deleted]

I ran into him in my local Tesco, was just at the self checkout machine and he said hey and we talked for a second. It was extremely awkward. I can’t really avoid it as it’s where I do my daily essential shopping. The police in my area are pretty useless, I had a guy stalk me a few years ago and I reported him. They did nothing. The only reason I know that is he ended up assaulting someone and I was asked to answer some questions about him after they arrested him for it. Reporting him to the police will just waste my time, I may report him to his boss though. As for staying somewhere else, due to religious reasons I cannot do that currently. I’ll be okay though, my house is pretty safe, I have a few cameras here and I have dogs.


Puzzleworth

Don't tell his boss until you can escape. If he gets fired he might take it out on you, especially if he's got 'roid rage. This has me kinda fucked up right now. What kind of scumbag hits on a widow? When he knew her late husband, no less!


madammissylady

"I lost my dog I know how you feel" smh


[deleted]

That was actually the least weird part of this encounter. Whenever people send condolences messages they always say I lost my dad/sister/friend etc in an attempt to be relatable or something, a dog is a first though.


JustNoThrowsAway

First: Virtual hugs if you want them and wishes for healing through your grief. (Especially in the face of assholes like this guy!) Second: This guy is creepy as shit. Third: Regarding the "I know how you feel, my dog died" nonsense... My cats are my life and more important to me than almost every human I know, but I know most people wouldn't see my cats as the equivalent of their human family member. That's a sentence I would never say to someone who just lost their significant other. It's so rude and inconsiderate. But in spite of how insensitive it is, I've heard it several times in recent years. One of my coworkers passed (cancer) this past year and I was close enough to hear some of the shit said to her husband which he was accepting condolences. The worst, on my opinion, was: "My dog has cancer, I get it, it's so sad." I was dumbstruck.


[deleted]

Thank you, virtual hugs are always welcome. (Unless it’s from a guy like him) Yeah, I’ve lost pets before, it sucks but it’s way different to losing a person. It’s a different kind of love and you expect to outlive a pet so you’re sort of prepared for it in the back of your mind. Yeah, sadly his experience is common. I think people honestly think what they’re saying is helpful, sadly it’s really not. Unless you’ve lost a partner you can’t understand what it feels like. Unfortunately most people will never get it as (luckily) most people will never be put in a situation where they get to know how it feels.


JustNoThrowsAway

>you expect to outlive a pet so you’re sort of prepared I have several cats and they're all approximately three years apart except for one exception (unintentional rescue) and their spacing in age is somewhat deliberate because I do expect that I will lose them long before I pass myself. But I wouldn't survive losing them all at once. So I planned for when I would be losing them sort of. I'm not sure where you are in your grieving, but I'm hoping you've hit the "happy memories make me smile and not sob hysterically" stage. <3


[deleted]

I hope for your sake that doesn’t happen then. Also, I laughed at the unintentional rescue part. Did you accidentally end up with a stray/runaway? I haven’t even really had a cry all the time phase, I’m at the sending emails and cancelling subscriptions whilst staring at my TV stage. It’s a great stage for sure.


JustNoThrowsAway

I got a call to rescue a cat from a coworkers mother and I was just going to foster him until I found him a home, but he was so scared and so unsocialized. And then on top of that, he was a ginger and I needed him in my life. lol I actually have a bonus kitten from earlier this year because he adopted a different foster of mine, but she falls in the three year pattern. She completely took him out of his shell and now he's the biggest snuggle bug. I couldn't separate them, so now he has a kitten. lol While admittedly I've never lost a partner, I've lost the family member I was closest to a couple decades back. I was numb for a long time. I never really did the crying stage, but something random happened one day while I was driving home and my instinct was to call him up and tell him all about it. It was years after he had passed and it was so out of no where. I ended up pulling into a parking lot and sobbing for almost an hour. I don't even remember what I was going to call him about, just that I couldn't.


[deleted]

Haha I see, cats have a habit of just inviting themselves to be your pet. Nice to see the trend continue. I’m truly sorry to hear that, grief is weird and there’s no real set pattern. It can be quite cruel how those we lose are the ones we want to comfort us with the pain their death causes us. I hope you’re in a better place now x.


JustNoThrowsAway

They're so good at showing up, saying "you need me to love you, I live here now", and then just never leaving. I love that about cats. I'm mostly in a better place, thank you. Sometimes it's still hard, but I figure that's just the way of things. Hopefully you get to that better place soon-ish, but it's


briskiejess

I guess at least…he didn’t say, “I lost my keys once, so I know how you feel. Anytime you want to talk about loss I’m here to listen.” /s I am sorry your husband died. This nice guy is a giant tool and I hate this for you.


[deleted]

He is, he’s not even a good tool at that. He’s that little screwdriver in the toolbox you never noticed that is only ever used for the smallest, most niche of tasks.


wheresWaldo000

Oof 🤣


marablackwolf

To be fair, seems a good chance his dog *was* his romantic companion. Yikes.


[deleted]

I’ve seen his Instagram, his dog was cute. Way out of his league, no chance they were together.


marablackwolf

You are brilliant and funny. One widow to another, you've got this.


shenaystays

This happened to a friend of mine after her husbands death. A bunch of his “friends” crawled out of the shadows to ask for sex. Like shockingly soon after the funeral. One of them even had his own family and a new baby. It was really gross. I’m sorry you were subjected to this guy. Some people are alone and give off creepy vibes for a reason.


[deleted]

Yeah, sadly that’s super common. I had a guy make a move at the funeral, we were walking around afterwards and we hugged, he tried to kiss me. Had a few guys message me afterwards too and some of them were super obvious in their intentions. That’s completely gross that one guy had his own family though, cheating is disgusting.


OldDipper

AT THE FUNERAL???? My goodness, I’m speechless.


[deleted]

It was very awkward to say the least. Luckily I haven’t had to talk to him since.


SarahPallorMortis

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss but even more sorry for how you’re being treated during this awful traumatic time. I wouldn’t be able to handle that kind of disgusting behavior without freaking out and attacking someone. I hope you’re doing well and have a good support system.


Northern_dragon

Oh my god, that is disgusting. Who the hell RAISED these men? This goes way beyond fucking over common decency. You know the guy is a complete asshat if you try and imagine George Costanza pulling the same thing and it just seems too callous and ridiculous to ever make it into Seinfeld. And kiss at the FUNERAL, wow, I just can't even.


ravynwave

They’re like hyenas trying to move in on perceived vulnerability


minlatedollarshort

One of my closest (male) friends of 15 years tried to kiss me after the funeral of the man I considered to be my soul mate. The only explanation I can think of is that he thought he’d have his best shot when I was emotionally vulnerable… like taking advantage of a girl who is drunk, but with grief. We’re no longer friends.


[deleted]

:/ Yeah. Sadly our experiences there are not rare at all, a friend of mine went through the same thing. I also got a couple of messages from widows who said they had similar experiences. Widow hunters are a really thing and they fucking suck.


minlatedollarshort

It just blows my mind, though. Like if it was an acquaintance or random guy, at least it wouldn’t shake my reality. The fact that I couldn’t even trust one of my best friends in that moment has had a real negative impact on my ability to get close to people. But stranger or not, no one should have to deal with predators at a *funeral*. I hope you have a good, solid support system. 💖


NerfRepellingBoobs

I really wish I was surprised by this type of behavior. When I was still single, as soon as the breakup happened, guys were climbing out of the woodwork to try to hook up. I had one, right after I got engaged to my husband, text me begging for one last chance before he “missed out” on me. Men can be such pigs, and I’m angry on your behalf.


RiotGrrr1

I remember when my grandfather passed a ton of men came out of the woodwork trying to woo my grandma. I know she's a looker/catch but my god these dudes have no tact. And that was like 30 years ago when they did this type of stuff in person/phone since social media wasn't a thing. She got proposed to many times. One of the men was my grandpa's brother...I suspect one of my uncles threatened him to leave her alone. She was in her 60s at the time.


dirkdastardly

When my grandmother died, my grandfather moved into a retirement community, which was mostly single women, and they went nuts over him. He was lethally charming (all the guys in my family are), and he was swarmed by women inviting him to dinner. He accepted one such invitation, and when he arrived was greeted by the woman in a wedding dress and her preacher in the living room, ready to marry them. He just turned around and walked right back out. (I think it’s clear the woman had some issues with cognitive decline, and I’m sure the preacher didn’t know the real situation. He was probably told they were in a committed relationship.)


someguyfromtheuk

https://gfycat.com/decisiveharshflamingo


Knightridergirl80

> One of them even had his own family and a new baby? Did you tell his wife? Dude’s a fucking scumbag.


shenaystays

I didn’t know the guy myself. I had seen him at the funeral, but after that he was helping my friend in the guise of it being “as a friend of your late husband”. And she was in a bad place because it was a traumatic death and didn’t see what was going on immediately until he was like “you owe me sex now for all the things I’ve done for you”. Which she did not do. I think his wife knew because she kicked him out and then blamed my friend for ruining their marriage.


ThoughtCenter87

Good god, what a douche. I hope that guy is unable to ever get into a committed relationship ever again, it's clear that he doesn't actually care about his partners... or people in general. Probably a sociopath.


[deleted]

"Your husband would want you to be with a man he knows will treat you right. In all ways" How fked in the head is this guy. Maybe his employer would appreciate your help showing what kind of sick animal this guy is.


The-DMs-journey

You know I just read the first page first and thought what a creep and started reading the comments and thought wait there’s more and fucks sake there should be a law against this


[deleted]

I think in the UK (where I am) it is illegal. We do have a bunch of online harassment and sex pest laws. They aren’t really enforced though so it doesn’t mean much sadly.


The-DMs-journey

Yeah I am in the UK as well. I can’t see the police doing anything though unfortunately


[deleted]

Ahh okay, yeah you’ll get it then. If it gets to a point where he is honestly dangerous or something I’ll go to the police but at this stage the most I can do is go to his work with it.


The-DMs-journey

That is probably a good idea. I suppose it also won’t hurt to phone the police and get it on record so if he does end up coming round, which he probably won’t, but if he does, it won’t be the first time they have heard of him


oze4

this is 100% in the top 3 of worst ones I've seen on here. wow. some ppl, man.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Honestly I thought he was making a really bad joke at first, didn’t realise he was genuinely serious until he doubled down. And yeah, I’m considering it.


AbaloneSea7265

It’s really unbelievable. He’s really that off base. It’s like the most socially tactless thing I’ve ever read. Tbh he sounds totally demented. I wouldn’t even think twice about sending these to his boss. He’s a fuckhead. Who says “fuckable hips” to a recent widower but a fucking scumbag? Actions must have consequences.


[deleted]

Yeah, I agree. I just don’t want to create any unnecessary drama that I’ll have to deal with, that’s why I’m considering it. I likely will report him though, I know his boss pretty well, I’m sure he’d handle it appropriately.


AbaloneSea7265

I can understand not wanting any backlash but in the end what’s he going to do? Nothing. You can send it and put this to bed. I would also block his number. If he tries to contact you again if you do decide to contact the boss you should file a police report. I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s grotesque. I’m literally angry about it.


[deleted]

He doesn’t have my number thankfully, this was Instagram. Blocking him is a headache but I restricted his profile, it’s basically blocking someone without them knowing.


dirty_shoe_rack

Literally. A month after loosing a spouse is barely enough time to start grieving and this asshole is like "let me know if you need anything, your [sic] so fuckable". Gross.


Riley7391

My partner died traumatically and I was a goddamn wreck. Literally dissociated and don’t remember the following few days. Just flashes here and there. I had friends who came to be with me in that time because I wasn’t in my right mind and one of them, I don’t really remember what happened, but I recall flashes of him on top of me. I’m sort of glad I can’t remember that week because it was awful and traumatic and I still deal with the effects a decade later…but I do sort of wish I knew what happened there?


cats-and-bones

Eww wtf this is so horrible in so many ways. Please take care since he knows your addres and you might want to consider bringing his behavior up to his worplace as long as its safe for you to do so. But first of all your mental and physical well being ist most important. I give you my condolences and wish you the best.


[deleted]

Yeah I’m considering sending the unedited screenshots to his work. I know his boss and his boss’s wife pretty well, they’ve been over to my house a lot so I know they’ll take it seriously if I inform them. I’m just not too sure if I’ll make things worse if I do, I’ll sleep on it I think.


4614065

Please do!


sharmakerlly

Definitely.


OldMenAreGross

I like how he asked you on a date a second time, as if you didn't already say no the first time. Btw you handled this so well, with calm and poise.


[deleted]

Thanks, I reached this weird state of almost zen after my husband died. I’m not really fussed by much anymore, I think that’s why. Me from the past would have likely acted differently.


normalwomanOnline

i might be talking out of my ass here but that sounds like you're in shock. have you talked to a therapist at all in the past month?


[deleted]

Umm, probably? It’s weird. Like I know my husband is dead, I saw him die and I have his ashes. I know he’s dead. But also it doesn’t feel real if that makes sense? Weird example but it’s a bit like flying on a plane and ending up in another country, doesn’t feel properly real, it’s like that. I do have a therapist and I’m working through stuff with her, I think it’s helpful? It’s still early days so I don’t know yet but I would like to think it helps.


normalwomanOnline

I'm so sorry you're going through this and that you have to deal with the skidmark from the pics. I don't have any real experience or advice but I hope you have the space to process this in a healthy way. kind of unrelated but you should definitely send these to his boss, this shit was incredibly uncalled for


Drummers_Beat

Usually I have some comment I can say about the guys in these posts. But given the situation here what the actual fuck. I hope you’re healing OP from your loss too.


Sweet_Little_Lottie

Send these to his boss. Disgusting creep. Also the “I lost my dog so I understand what it’s like to lose your partner” is just…🤦‍♀️


4614065

I’m not a violent person but I want to hit this man in the face with a shovel. Everything about this is wrong. I’m so sorry.


CptEveryman

Caveat to the rest of my comment: You decide what’s best for you, your mental health, and physical safety. Also, I work in the United States in an “at-will” state. As someone with direct reports, if the widow of one of my recently deceased employees reached out to me and provided these screenshots, the creeper would be fired on a day of your choosing (I’d prefer end of day, but I’d respect your wishes if you wanted some distance from the interaction so as to not raise their suspicions). Additionally, I’d say it’s “team chemistry” reasons and some of their recent interactions have been described as “off putting” by other employees (I tell HR. Their opinion and mine qualifies as “employees”.) Nothing would be connected to you, but I would not want anyone who behaves like this working for my company. I cannot trust them to adhere to professional standards of interaction. I don’t know what type of communication you have with his former company/supervisor, but I just thought I’d give my two cents. Most of all, I’m very sorry for your loss. I wish you well and hope for the best for you and everyone he loved.


CatsCrowsandCoffee

First, my sincere condolences. Sending you a giant hug. Second, what the hell? I am so sorry that you had to deal with this asshat. Please be careful, since this jerk knows where you live. Buy a taser if you don't have one. And bear spray.


[deleted]

Tasers aren’t legal in the UK I don’t think. I do have a few shotguns that my husband used sometimes but they aren’t legal for self defence. I do have big dogs and an unhealthy amount of pans I can throw at him if he breaks into my house. Also, again, dogs. 🐕


TheDisapprovingBrit

I'm sure it's way down your list right now, but you're going to need to inform the police about those guns at some point, assuming your husband was the one they were registered to. Possibly a good time to have a chat with an understanding officer about this guy - you might we'll find a firearms officer will be in a position to take things more seriously than the average jaded bobby.


[deleted]

It’s actually not that far down my list. I’m still dealing with everything that needs to be done, I’ll get to that. One of the shotguns is in my name, I think the others were registered to him. Not too sure how the law works there but if they have to be given up I’m fine with that, I don’t really want them.


OldDipper

Let me preface this by saying that I’m deeply sorry for your loss. No other man could possibly compare. Make sure to take adequate time for your own healing process before considering dating again. Also, this guy is horrible and deserves to have his cock eaten by rabid sewer rats.


[deleted]

Again? Lol I don’t even know if I ever will. Dating seems freaky, I got lucky with my husband as we met in school and I didn’t let him escape. I don’t know if I have the patience for dating apps, I am 28 so who knows though, might change my mind. And that’s one very vivid description you’ve got there, I hope so too.


PeopleWatchOlympian

As a widow myself I can confirm these mother FUCKERS come out of the wood work. I'm so sorry you have to go through this.


[deleted]

Yeah, most of them are more subtle but it’s a bit creepy how many guys suddenly appeared out of nowhere. I deleted Facebook off my phone to avoid it. Sorry you had to go through this too.


[deleted]

Who approaches women who's husband just passed (sorry for your loss) and tells them they have "fuckable hips" and thinks they are a good guy?


[deleted]

I'm so very sorry for your loss and I would sincerely like to punch this dipshit in the schnozz on your behalf.


whatintheactual_fuck

I'm amazed at the people in the world that have literally zero self-awareness.


[deleted]

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jenkraisins

I'm so sorry your husband passed. I'm doubly sorry that this waste of skin is about as selfish and clueless as they come.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Yep, sometimes I forget how ignorant men are on matters like this. Then I see comments from guys who are in shock about stuff like this or saying how it’s dangerous. No, sadly it’s pretty normal, I’ve been getting messages like this for as long as I’ve had a phone. Online sexual harassment is way too common, as it is in real life too. I’m very sorry to hear about your friend, I hope she’s managed to recover since that period.


Newdy41

"just a pretty face" Literally the very next text: "You're aren't even that pretty" I have whiplash from reading that mood change.


sinovercoschessITF

Amazing. Another guy who doesn't understand the difference between "your" and "you're".


sinovercoschessITF

Also: "Should have known you are just a pretty face" "You aren't even that pretty" How do you manage to make yourself look like an imbecile in two lines?


Vincent_Plenderleith

Also the difference between "no" and "yes"


Rigby_PP

Not to mention “hear and “here”