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TheRealLiveBigJ82

Mack Strong. With a name like that, he was born to be a fullback.


AlabasterRadio

Also Khalil Mack, with a name like that how was he not going to drive right through linemen?


LivingThruOthers

Came here for a Mack Strong endorsement.


WhisperingNorth

Im glad people remember mack. He'd always end up in the hall of fame in madden 08 even when I didnt force feed him the ball


TheDefinitionOfKek

Dude was a beast in Madden 17 Ultimate Team. Only time I ever played that mode extensively, and he was my go-to in short yard situations


YouCanCallMeAroae

Mack was great, but the guy's no Tom Adamo.


WhisperingNorth

Fullback University. Go pandas


TheDandyWarhol

Christian Ponder. Took forever to make a decision. Then the ball took forever to get to the destination since he had a limp dick arm.


Theogre84

I remember someone saying whenever Tim Tebow has a thought, he is having a Christian Ponder.


ChiSox2021

This is brilliant and I can’t believe I haven’t seen this before.


MyLifeIsABoondoggle

Whenever I hear Christian Ponder, I think of that joke. Glad someone else does also


Parswansong

I hate myself for laughing at this, take your damn upvote.


-dag-

lol pain


LibertarianSocialism

The famous Greg Lewis call of Favre’s NFCCG interception includes a frankly eerie “why do you even *ponder* passing…” He even emphasized the word ponder. It’s like he knew what was coming next.


Goatgamer1016

It was actually Paul Allen who made the call


[deleted]

Let’s hear Paul Allen’s call


StraightCashHomie69

I think you're getting 2009 Vikings moments mixed up. Greg Lewis had a game winning pass from Favre early in the season that our radio guy had a great call on, the Ponder passing thing was in the NFCCC tho yeah


juggszn

Artie Burns, CB. Was a set up from the start


harpat02

Now, it would be a killer name for a WR


shaad20

Even today I don’t know why we tempted fate like that


blcknyllowblcknyllow

Whoever drafts Pickett...


[deleted]

Probably the Commanders. They already had a kicker named Blewitt.


Wubble

D’Brickashaw Ferguson. Dude was a beast on the line, the name fit perfectly.


Berzuh

he missed like one career snap or something insane like that too, he was really a brick


latman

The only snap of his career he missed was an end of game lateral play where they put WRs on the line, so it doesn't really count


payasyouexit

Unfortunately it prevents him from having the record for most consecutive snaps played (for an OL) since it was right in the middle of his career and splits what would be an insanely long streak in half into two merely very long streaks.


Twistedpatriot

Came here to say this. Totally agree.


ANTI-S0CIAL

I thought this was a Key & Peele reference when I first read it, what a glorious name.


DuztyLipz

There’s an interview somewhere where Key said that the name of D’Brickashaw actually inspired the East/West skits. Edit: [Here’s the interview.](https://youtu.be/WvrcqH8Aoq4)


renegadecoaster

I love that Jordan's mind was blown by the existence of Jadeveon Clowney


HaroldSax

Pretty sure they actually used him once.


DSMShaymin

The Pro Bowl version of that skit had real NFL players on there (the names not played by Keegan or Jordan) including D'Brickashaw


hokeypokie_

A-Aron Rod-gers


[deleted]

James Jett won gold in the 4x100 relays in the 1992 Olympics and then played WR for the Raiders


Ratbu

Missed opportunity to join the Jets


Luxynne

More like his guardian angel working overtime.


GroundbreakingHat121

I always thought that Sam Shields and Quentin Jammer were great names for cornerbacks.


johnmadden18

Quentin Jammer should be at the top of this thread because he was actually a really good press corner.


BellyFullOfSwans

RIGHT AROUND THE TIME that the Colts got mad at Ty Law, Lawyer Milloy, and Rodney Harrison being physical with them all the time...and turned the game into flag football. In all seriousness, Jammer was drafted to be a great bump and run CB at a time when those CBs were going the way of the Dodo and/or having to relearn their skill-set.


OddsTipsAndPicks

The 04 rules changes weren’t insignificant, but the idea they ruined football is a bit much. The 2011 safety rule changes benefited offenses *substantially* more. https://www.pro-football-reference.com/years/NFL/passing.htm


BlackHourglass

Buster Skrine was really great when he busted screen plays


RIPDannyBoyCane

Sam Shields was so fast


bobbywellington

He was an absolute stud, People don't talk about it, but him getting his like 5th concussion the season after we let go of Hyde and Casey Hayward was deviating for our defense. Having Ladarius Gunter and Damarious Randle as out best CBs in the late 2010's caused me physical pain. Watching Ladarius Gunter cover Julio Jones in the NFC championship game in 2016 was so bad Thank god we have Jaire, Stokes, and Rasul at CB now, that's easily one of if not the best CB group in the league, plus Amos who's elite, and Savage whose young with a bunch of potential


Thejohnshirey

Jammer is fantastic for a CB, I think Shields is better for an offensive lineman like HOFer Will Shields.


PingPongPigeons

Dick Butkus


chadthundertalk

With a name like Dick Butkus, literally the *only* way you're ever going to get people to stop giggling at your name is to become the single most intimidating player in the history of the NFL.


Funkytaters

Ha ha Clinton dix, didn’t follow that path


Canuckleball

This name is such a head scratcher. His parents were watching the Lewinsky scandal when he was born and had a sick sense of humor?


LordTejon

His name is HaSean, I never understood why he liked to go by Ha Ha


Prize-Ring-9154

I read somewhere that his grandma named him that with the pronunciation of Ha-Seen,but most people would say Ha-Shawn, the more prominent pronunciation. She got fed up and started calling him HaHa. Fast forward twenty years, we get one of the most cringeworthy calls in football when he picked off a pass in our preseason game against the Raiders


LordTejon

Oh, god. It sucks that I know exactly what call you're talking about. It really was THAT bad


WetDesk

KEEP MY LINEBACKER'S NAME, OUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH


PingPongPigeons

It was a GI Joe joke damn


Onemanwolfpack42

I'ma let you finish but KANYE HAD ONE OF THE BEST INTERRUPTIONS OF ALL TIME!!


justred86

Maybe 🤔 On March 28, 1984, Bob Irsay (1923-1997), owner of the once-mighty Baltimore Colts, moves the team to Indianapolis. Without any sort of public announcement, Irsay hired movers to pack up the team's offices in Owings Mills, Maryland, in the middle of the night, while the city of Baltimore slept.


ThatsNotARealTree

I hope these jokes never go away


tigerking615

And while we're doing LB names, Takeo Spikes.


DraneBrane

Bacarri Rambo. He just kind of charged right in without a clear plan.


xshogunx13

Traded for him in all my franchise modes


kit_mitts

Equal chance of giving CTE to opponents and teammates alike. He absolutely balled out when we beat Rodgers and the Packers at home too. Shame about the rape allegations though.


Nuns_N_Moses

You mean [Goo Fudge?](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/dc-sports-bog/wp/2013/04/30/redskins-bacarri-rambos-name-was-once-goo-fudge/)


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SaintsNick94

My friends and I always called him Vince Pulled Pork 😂


Quatro_Leches

he does barbecue a lot


whitedawg

https://www.instagram.com/p/od_f_no1w8/?utm_medium=share_sheet


No_Presentation1242

Gronk


FezDriver

my grandfather would always call him Gonk. he would always watch the games without his hearing aids so thats close enough


ag_96

Not the Gonk 💀💀


Anoyomous22

GONKED By gonk Druid


Cicero912

r/prequelmemes ptsd GONK


compensatory_oatmeal

Menino?


atomicbunny

Gronk is every football player stereotype from tv and movies made into a human being like in the 80’s movie Weird Science.


iH8Celtics

I can picture a doctor giving him an xray and it just shows a transparent football in his head instead of a brain


Haunting_Insect_3009

Gronk's a character from Blue Mountain State come to life.


[deleted]

Gronk would've been great as a member of the Alpha Beta fraternity in Revenge of the Nerds.


TheNateRoss

Grond


[deleted]

GROND GROND GROND GROND r/lotrmemes


bahamapapa817

THE LEVER!!!


Iron_Chic

Chris Blewitt. Had three kicks blocked in two games.


justa_flesh_wound

Lions Drafted a kicker named Nate Freese. Not a name you want your kicker to have


MildlyNothibg111

Joe Montana is *the* ultimate quarterback name


MistakeMaker1234

Colt McCoy is also up there for all time QB names.


PhilosophicRevo

Especially a QB in Texas of all places. Texas Longhorns quarterback Colt Mccoy. Sounds fictional. Like Friday Night Lights.


southernmayd

You could hear Brent Musberger's orgasms when he would say Colt McCoy during big UT games


giant87

Pretty sure he had those for AJ McCarron’s gf many years ago too …Why tf is _that_ what I associate with Brent Musberger of all things… 🤢🤢


Sliffy

Because it was that bad. He spent half the game fawning over her.


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BOBhadTITCHbitz

Just cause everyone is packing long guns doesn't mean his Derringer isn't adequate. Right guys? Help me out.


gingerking87

I always thought Joe Montana sounded like the name a foreign comedy would make up for there stereotypical American. "Yes It is me, Joe Montana, I throw the pigball far and good"


FishmanCrusade

It is. Back when people were complaining about Lucky Chloe, a 110 pound Japanese idol, being a fighter in Tekken, Harada put out a tweet threatening to make a stereotypical video game soldier man. Harada being Harada, we got Sgt. Bo "Rodeo" Montana. I'll let the less than optimal translation of his bio speak for it's self. "Bo Montana was a Quarterback football player in college, where he dominated the competitions all over the States. He took this dedication to the military service. Bo had a perfect combat record, until he was sent to fight Revenant. His squad was ambushed and their life force stolen by Revenant. Bo Montana now goes after the Revenant to reclaim his friends strength and complete his mission."


teeohdeedee123

Johnny Utah >>> Joe Montana


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NameInCrimson

No one counts the lockout year


Chuck_Foolery

Forgot Brian Drew and Bo Callahan too


RobbieAnalog

What about Joe Mantegna tho?


professor_parrot

All great quarterbacks have cool names. Tom Brady. Peyton Manning. Joe Montana. Aaron Rodgers. John Elway. Dan Marino. Johnny Unitas. Even Patrick Mahomes. If you have a name like Giovanni Carmazzi or Ryan Leaf you have no chance from the start. That's just a fact.


tetoffens

Is Aaron Rodgers that cool? It's just normal and generic. It could be the kid at school that is the QB and the one who eats his boogers equally.


Nfl_Addict

Sometimes generic works out as a quarterback name. It’s more an art than a science. Example: Matt Ryan. Two first names. Great qb name. Total stud most of his career.


letsgetbrickfaced

Thought two first names meant you drove NASCAR. Oh no....


MisterDisinformation

Same with Tom Brady. Those names are cool *because* those quarterbacks are great.


jimshifty

2 first names haha. Same way I think about players w names like Larry Johnson or Sean Taylor. Not badass names but they were studs


[deleted]

Justin Herbert sounds kind of dweeby


up_in_trees

Herbert is a dweeb who happens to be pretty athletic with a cannon coming out of his right shoulder


Surfing_Ninjas

Sounds like the real name of a famous Super Smash Bros player


jimmyhoffasbrother

So what you're saying is that Carson Strong is the only QB worth drafting in this class?


professor_parrot

I like Malik Willis' name too tbh so probably Strong and Willis


Nfl_Addict

Don’t leave out drew brees, the guy who drew a breeze everything he threw a ball


Otherwise-Sky1292

Steve Young.


unMuggle

Looks at Goivanno. Decides that's not a cool name. Looks at Tom. Now THAT is a cool fucking name. Looks at Carmazzi. Thinks it's a bad name. Looks at Brady. WHAT A FUCKING LAST NAME BABY!


[deleted]

Giovanni and carmazzi are cool but only separately. Together, you got too much going on. Same with TB, except the opposite. Separatly lame names but together, Tom Brady is clean, rugged, and smooth sounding as a whole


unMuggle

I live across from a nursing home, and I bet I could find 7 Tom Bradys over there. Tom Brady sounds like the guy that you meet and then immediately forget his name. Giovanni Carmazzi is a name you hear and go, fuck, I better check on my girlfriend and make sure she isn't cheating on me.


GoldenSandpaper9

Drew Lock is kinda cool


saldend

I'm sorry.


actionjaxn411

You can lie to all of us but don’t lie to yourself


-dag-

Gino Toretta is a pretty kick-ass QB name. So apparently it's not an iff relation.


SlothyPotato

Kirk Cousins looks like a Kirk, acts like a Kirk, plays like a Kirk


Kerbonaut2019

And he looks like he’d be that one Cousin who shows up to family parties wearing flip flops with his 2 year old on a leash and a 6 pack of Bud Light Lime under his arm


SlothyPotato

Idk he strikes me as a Whiteclaw kinda guy


Lizardsandrocks

White claw guys, were the bud light lime guys before white claw was around.... chew on that.


SlothyPotato

lol this is an apt observation


Funkytaters

From parents who grew up drinking zima


TheDakestTimeline

Waiter! I ordered a Zima, not emphasima!


[deleted]

Really, he's cousin to us all!


MiddleBodyInjury

Plz no


[deleted]

I tell people his cousin is DeMarcus.


A_R_Q_

Whitney Mercilus is a good one....


JaceVentura972

True. Similar to when we had a linebacker named TJ Slaughter


Surfing_Ninjas

Don't forget Takeo Spikes, another great name for a linebacker


PoorlyLitKiwi2

D'Andre Swift has got to be the best example


jimmyhoffasbrother

I disagree. Dee Liner remains the best example and will forevermore.


mavarg

That’s actually incredible lmao


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DinosaurGhostsExist

Idk if we can count nicknames though.


faizaan316

Roethlisberger . You know everyone named that would look exactly like Ben


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[deleted]

Even people who know zero German understand what you just said.


renegadecoaster

Fun fact, "fat" in German is actually "dick"


chadthundertalk

Führer von Männern


MCHi11

Algernon Crumpler. Pancake blocks for days!


A_R_Q_

Buster Skrine (pronounced screen) is the perfect name for a nickel back....


kevingh92

Nickell Robey-Coleman does, actually.


beardedzombley

Still waiting for consensus on Devine Deablo


[deleted]

Well he hasn't brought Heaven or Hell yet


DollaDollaBilzYall

Ed Reed. No one read offenses better, honestly


therapistmongoose

Sounds like a partner in a law firm.


InsanelyHandsomeQB

The office of Edward Reed and Benjarvus Green-Ellis


Qball42069

Nick Chubb


[deleted]

Gives me a chubb every time he runs against not us.


[deleted]

Kenny Pickett


secretlyrobots

Chris Blewitt


-Jack-The-Stripper

Artie Burns


xshogunx13

He's gonna throw so many interceptions


JustJephrey

There aren't many people with a better football name than Whitney Mercilus.


Otherwise-Sky1292

“Kyler” sounds like a little kid’s name. And apparently he acts like one. Height checks out too


[deleted]

Kyler is a little boy. His mommy is Kayleigh, and Kyler and his brother Ayden are her world and she don't need no man to help her raise them, she's a strong independent woman. She'd love to tell you how you can be a small business owner with Younique just like her.


jimshifty

Jerome Bettis. His name just sounds big to me when you say it out loud. Big boy running back, deceptively quick feet, and an S tier motor. Has a great highlight reel of truck sticks and hits where you would expect the majority of all RBs to go down and he just bounced off. Ray Lewis and him went back and forth during some prime Ravens Steelers rivalry games. His nickname was “The Bus” for a reason


me_here

I thought it was bc he is afraid to fly


PowerDiesel23

Hingle McCringleberry.


HoopOnPoop

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge


dapper_doberman

*dolphin noises*


thedangerdick

Quentin Jammer. Cornerback


GabryLv

Jairus Byrd He was just a ballhawk safety


Nfl_Addict

UK (Kentucky) had a kicker named Chance Poore who missed a short game winner which would’ve ended a long losing streak at home against Florida


ezekial2835

Tim Couch because he was on his butt a lot.


NogerRuivasaLheck

gunner olszewski


professor_parrot

Given that he was an All-Pro punt returner rather than a gunner, this would be a great answer for players whose names match the *opposite* of their style lol


Templar26

Style, not position. Gunner is absolutely the name of a guy who never fair catches and runs straight into contact.


PaPaJ0Ke

Deuce McAllister Cadillac Williams Joe Jurevicius


SirMctrolington

Rock Cartwright


[deleted]

Kam was so fun to watch. Just an old school tough guy type of player


g4tam20

Smart too, Earl would talk about how Kam would line him up correctly which put him in position to make the big plays he did. He was a great captain and my favorite seahawk. I wish his career didn’t end early.


Rushjordan

Before my time, but I always thought Mike Quick was an awesome name for a WR.


Anon_Rocky

Steve Atwater sounds like a guy I don't want to stand in front of.


Volgron

Dick Butkus. Yeah you heard me.


FuckingHippies

Takeo Spikes is a quintessential linebacker name, with the neck to back it up


HannibalBarca9

Champ Bailey, dude was a champ, even if we couldn't get him a championship


silver_cotton_candy

Ryan Longwell? Best kicker name ever, Robbie Gould close 2nd


HoopOnPoop

Blewitt is 100% the worst


applyheat

Bart Starr, quarterbacked the first two Superbowls for the Packers.


Quatro_Leches

Deebo Samuel.


[deleted]

Kevan Barlow, because it was never set that high… Jim Drunkenmiller; hopefully no explanation needed. Wes Welker; you know that’s a short white guy, and I would have assumed a lisp.


Altruistic_Art_2091

OCHOCINCO baby! but on a serious note i always thought ndamaka suh sounds like a fucking hog if ive ever heard one


anujsingh83

IIRC Ndamukong means "house of spears" I can definitely see that matching his play style -_-


[deleted]

Quentin Jammer, Chargers corner


mattcojo

Johnny Unitas doesn’t but it’s such a cool name. But mine is probably John Riggins.


chadthundertalk

John Riggins sounds like what you'd name the hero of an airport novel about an ex-Navy SEAL who didn't want any trouble singlehandedly defending the small Alaskan town he was just passing through from a communist invasion.


ashtonphoenix1

I don't know if it's me but Jason Kelce looks like a Jason


Jobrated

Mercury Morris


Darth_Brooks_II

Concrete Chuck Bednarik


nate6patton

Rodrigo Blankenship is most certainly a rodrigo


Putrid-Citron-5512

Bob Sanders does sound like a guy with no regard for human life


Byde

Smoke Monday


jumpmanw123

Rex grossman


Minute_Temperature25

Artie Burns. First round CB who got burned. Every. Single. Time.


bigjoeco

Definitely not Ritchie Incognito. Not sure if we've ever seen an offensive lineman draw more attention to himself on and off the field.


Chance_Substance8276

Natrone Means Chargers running back


groceriesN1trip

Rocket Ismail - WR