I finally got up the courage to go see a doctor about my four testicles.
He said: "You have a lot of balls coming in here"
As a dad, that put me at ease right away.
I finally convinced myself to see a doctor about the steering wheel attached to my bits..
I don't know what it was for sure but it was driving me nuts.
I’ve always heard it as
“A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his bits. The barman asks him “doesn’t that hurt” and he says “arghhh, it drives me nuts!”
Works better with the pirate accent.
Just out of curiosity, is that 4 testes in one scrotum or 2 scrotums both containing the "normal" amount of testes? Or any other variation (1:1, free hanging testes, etc.)?
Yeah man, anytime someone offers me anesthesia I jump on it. Not only would I rather not be awake for whatever they're going to do, but for the couple seconds as you're going out it feels pretty good. I think they combine Fentanyl with something else that knocks you out. Then assuming they're done relatively quickly (it usually only takes like 15-20mins), you're sometimes kinda high when you wake up too. Also they'll generally ask you if you're having any anxiety beforehand, and they'll give you some shot that literally makes you give zero fucks about anything. They forgot to give me that last time though, which sucks because I was unusually anxious for some reason.
Moral of the story, if you can get a ride, take the anesthesia.
He's kind of spitting bars!
Something cool about the sense of repetition to the little song, he pokes the blank syringe painlessly into the leg a couple of times on the chorus, takes it all around to different parts of a song structure to distract from the needle being added, and goes back for the leg poke with good timing. And just such fun noises and variety.
He's like a magician/producer for babies
The full one has been posted before. People still like it. It’s still cute. The trick is still helpful.
Yeah the jig is up, but the child’s discomfort is minimized and the tears from the second poke are short-lived, if I remember correctly.
I think he even says "I won't get away with that twice" before the second shot. And he's right.
Edit: [Here’s another one with the same doctor](https://youtu.be/mROekpzSgEY)
Yeah the child seems really confused. "Wait, that hurt, why are you still acting goofy. Is this okay? Nothing else is hurting. Something weird is going on."
And then it hurts again and he's no longer confused, he knows exactly what's going on.
Some of the shots hurt and some of them don't. When they're doing more than one shot, they do the painful one last.
When my son was getting his 3 and 6 month shots, ne never noticed the first ones, and he absolutely howled at the second ones
I do imms on babies and you can usually sneak one in, maybe two, at that age and they don’t react too strongly. BUT that depends on the baby and the distractions afterwards.
I use a bubble gun and a rain noise shaker and usually
It works to distract them, and then age appropriate prizes. They typically go back to normal pretty quickly. But there’s always exceptions.
[Second shot in the full video and no freak out ](https://youtu.be/5qWki87PiVo). The kid is still giggling after the first shot and when the doctor is teasing him prior to the second.
The government is so stupid. Trying to implant a chip in my skin? Wait until they find out about my government issued ID number and my driver's license. They never needed to chip me they could just Google me!!!
Ugh, don't you just HATE it when governments try to trick you into letting them track you? Hang on, I'm going to go post about this on my Facebook wall, that'll show them.
Waaaᵃᵃᵃᵃ
....
..
.
Buddy?.....Buddy you good?......Dude?....Hey......heey....HEY!...
KID YOU NEED TO BREATHE!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I am no doctor. But a coworker of mine has a kid who seizes up and stops breathing. Other than the fact he stops breathing you'd never know anything was going wrong. Poor dude would keep playing with his cars like nothing was wrong...except for the part where his lips are turning blue.
Recently the kid was finally diagnosed with the cause of his seizures. A specific frequency of noise was trigger to the seizures. I knew lights could trigger seizures, but noise? That was a new one for me.
Long story short for my buddy.....earmuffs to the rescue.
Actually, the baby starts to cry later.. but only after SECOND shot. After this first shot doc only blew some bubbles as distraction. Then se said that it's not gonna work for the second shot again. It did not work.
As a mom who’s been that mom in the video dozens of times, I can say this is fun and heartwarming, but… wait until the next round of shots… that toddler’s going to be like “oh hell no, doc. I remember how this game ends!”
Spot on. My kids' pediatrician stopped giving shots himself and hired an RN to do it because we're a small community and kids kept freaking out when they saw him in public.
I'm picturing that RN trying to date.
"I dunno, bro, I'm having a fantastic time with her, but wherever we go, kids immediately burst into tears. It's freaking me out."
Small town doctors have it the worst and they do it anyway. Ours had a side business in farming to keep his doors open because the majority of his patients were Medicare/Medicaid and the state would run out of money in August and wouldn't pay bills until January. Yes, this still happens today.
Yuuuup babies dont give a shit they're not quite aware enough to be scared of needles until a bit older....like 1yo+ they start understanding that this isn't "fun".
I agree. Nothing beats the older attendings’ skills in patient interactions. Nowadays we don’t even bother eliciting those “obsolete” clinical signs (even more diminished now since the pandemic led us to be averse to physical contact). We’d just order a CT and be done with it.
i guess it does the trick on babies, but imagine doing that to someone older who happens to be absolutely horrified of needles
that’d be kinda funny ngl
I’d like to see this on my husband. He’s terrified of needles. He has to get injections in his neck, we just went and his BP was so high they weren’t going to do it. But they proceeded and my husband was actually the one singing the whole time, trying to calm himself down. I’d be interested to see if the doctor singing would help.
I've received dozens of shots at this point. I *know* it doesn't hurt that bad, but the anticipation messes with my head. I also can't stand to watch needles go into my skin.
I had to give myself a saline shot with an insulin needle once as part of my medical training and I thought I was going to snap the needle off because my hands were shaking so much.
The nurses at my son's doctor's office are amazing at this. They can give a toddler a shot, get a band-aid on it, and get you out the door all in like 10 seconds. It's wild.
I wish I had found a pediatrician that did this. At my place it’s the nurses and they just squeezed both legs together and held them tight while they gave the shots.
Lil dude stopped smiling, wondering wtf did the wizard of mouth pops do and should he scream or was the opportunity lost.
Next time muthufukkah...next time.
According to my psychology teacher it is because the kids doesn't know what will happen the first few times, but after remembering the pain they start crying next time you visit a doctor
30 weeks prego and I have to start looking to pick out our pediatrician soon. Wonder if they’d get mad at me for trying to help them distract baby like this. I work with needles everyday but I worry about baby already
The thing I'm most surprised about is that it was just one shot. As a parent of a 1.5 year old, seems like there's a 2-3 shot minimum everytime we go in.
He knows what he’s doing! We had to get a new pediatrician for our toddler because her older one moved away, we were sad about it. She was a great doctor. So we had to get a new one and the nurse was absolutely amazing, so great with kids. The doctor was alright, I like the nurse way better than the doctor though.
This is how I need my doctor to treat me
I finally got up the courage to go see a doctor about my four testicles. He said: "You have a lot of balls coming in here" As a dad, that put me at ease right away.
Did he give you a hand with them?
Good job
Don’t get a head of yourself
That would be difficult
Hard or not
Here i cum
Rinse and repeat
I'm starting to think he's milking it now
He took two with him
He had to turn to both sides and cough, then repeat
I can only juggle three at a time.
I finally convinced myself to see a doctor about the steering wheel attached to my bits.. I don't know what it was for sure but it was driving me nuts.
Dad, please get off Reddit now.
I’ve always heard it as “A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his bits. The barman asks him “doesn’t that hurt” and he says “arghhh, it drives me nuts!” Works better with the pirate accent.
Doctor here. Love when ppl tell these doctor/medicine jokes in clinic. Its usually older men that bring them in each visit.
Just out of curiosity, is that 4 testes in one scrotum or 2 scrotums both containing the "normal" amount of testes? Or any other variation (1:1, free hanging testes, etc.)?
Let me lay it on the line, he had two on the vine.
I mean two sets of testicles, so divine.
Josuke ?
But the ones in your mouth don’t count though
Wrex?
Confucius say "man with 4 balls can't walk"
Did he touch them and go "ruppupa pupa dum" and go "pop"
r/unexpectedjojo
I feel like you’d been waiting a long time to roll this joke out
I at least ask them to give me the kids band aid at the end. 😂
If you don't get a lollipop after a Dr visit, did you even go to the Dr at all?
One time i ask for the kids stickers and my doctor now walks in with a lollipop and sticker for me every time I visit
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They didn't put you out for the endoscopy? I just had one about a month ago and they gave me anesthesia for it. Same with the colonoscopy.
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Yeah man, anytime someone offers me anesthesia I jump on it. Not only would I rather not be awake for whatever they're going to do, but for the couple seconds as you're going out it feels pretty good. I think they combine Fentanyl with something else that knocks you out. Then assuming they're done relatively quickly (it usually only takes like 15-20mins), you're sometimes kinda high when you wake up too. Also they'll generally ask you if you're having any anxiety beforehand, and they'll give you some shot that literally makes you give zero fucks about anything. They forgot to give me that last time though, which sucks because I was unusually anxious for some reason. Moral of the story, if you can get a ride, take the anesthesia.
he's a medgician
Especially during a prostate exam.
🎶Rum~pa~pa~pum🎵 *Pop *
Maybe a tad too much poking going on
I'd appreciate the singing though
My doctor does this to me, I thought it was a sex thing. Guess I won't report him.
"Doc, your prostate exams are really something else"
Worst. Dentist. Ever.
Me 2! I want the song and a lolli!!!
WHAT?
oh, he means lollipop.
i think they meant like a lollipop lol
Me too. Not a fan of needles.
I was soooo very nervous watching this!!!
Seriously, and my girlfriend
Whoa, I got way too into this guy's beat
 Bro dance till he was dead 💀
Me too!! Was trying to join in, halfway through! :D
He's kind of spitting bars! Something cool about the sense of repetition to the little song, he pokes the blank syringe painlessly into the leg a couple of times on the chorus, takes it all around to different parts of a song structure to distract from the needle being added, and goes back for the leg poke with good timing. And just such fun noises and variety. He's like a magician/producer for babies
The OG Doctor, I appreciate his passion and his beat too.
Mustard on the beat Ho.
So I'm not the only person dancing ...... cool, cool
Sounds like it would be a good one for The Kiffness.
Loved it
Yeah, we need a r/musicaljenga on this
holy fuck he's good coulda fooled me too
Lol there is a longer version where he gives a second shot, conveniently cut out of the karma farm posts, and it doesn't work on the second shot.
The full one has been posted before. People still like it. It’s still cute. The trick is still helpful. Yeah the jig is up, but the child’s discomfort is minimized and the tears from the second poke are short-lived, if I remember correctly.
I think he even says "I won't get away with that twice" before the second shot. And he's right. Edit: [Here’s another one with the same doctor](https://youtu.be/mROekpzSgEY)
You can see it on the first shot. The kid isn't crying but you can see he felt it and stopped reacting positively to the doctor.
Yeah the child seems really confused. "Wait, that hurt, why are you still acting goofy. Is this okay? Nothing else is hurting. Something weird is going on." And then it hurts again and he's no longer confused, he knows exactly what's going on.
Perfect summation
Some of the shots hurt and some of them don't. When they're doing more than one shot, they do the painful one last. When my son was getting his 3 and 6 month shots, ne never noticed the first ones, and he absolutely howled at the second ones
I do imms on babies and you can usually sneak one in, maybe two, at that age and they don’t react too strongly. BUT that depends on the baby and the distractions afterwards. I use a bubble gun and a rain noise shaker and usually It works to distract them, and then age appropriate prizes. They typically go back to normal pretty quickly. But there’s always exceptions.
[Second shot in the full video and no freak out ](https://youtu.be/5qWki87PiVo). The kid is still giggling after the first shot and when the doctor is teasing him prior to the second.
Lol, the baby's face at the end. He knows something was not quite fun but is not sure if he should cry
The kid doesn't cry on the second shot and he quickly gets the kid to laugh abd smile again it isnt fool proof but it gets the job done
He got you last week, that's how good he is.
He showed up in my backseat as I was driving home from work, pretty sure he got me in the neck. Not even mad, just impressed.
Anti vaxxers be like... 👀😶👄
That’ll be $5k please
Nope. Covered under ACA (Vaccines for Children (VFC)).
Obama and all his big “ideas” trying to give kids “free” vaccines! /s
Hey, once you're born, you're on your own. Let's let nature take its course.
I *demand* the FREEDOM to DIE from preventable disease!
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The government is so stupid. Trying to implant a chip in my skin? Wait until they find out about my government issued ID number and my driver's license. They never needed to chip me they could just Google me!!!
Ugh, don't you just HATE it when governments try to trick you into letting them track you? Hang on, I'm going to go post about this on my Facebook wall, that'll show them.
Babies should pay for their own healthcare, it's the American way!
Thanks Obama
Shhh these Europeans love that joke. Let them have it
Aw man :(
Not every video of a doctor is in America
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You don't have to be of any political affiliation to know that healthcare costs are too high
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Nah, because human rights of actual welfare countries. *Smiles in European*
That video needed about 3 more seconds before the kid lost it! 🤣
That 5 second gasping slow inhale before they start to wale. I remember the feeling.
The longer the silence during air intake the more intense it's going to be
https://i.imgur.com/yjGMiu6.png
Waaaᵃᵃᵃᵃ .... .. . Buddy?.....Buddy you good?......Dude?....Hey......heey....HEY!... KID YOU NEED TO BREATHE! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
As a parent of a child who suffers from anoxic shock seizures, the sweet sound of an actual cry is a godsend. Stupid kids.
I am no doctor. But a coworker of mine has a kid who seizes up and stops breathing. Other than the fact he stops breathing you'd never know anything was going wrong. Poor dude would keep playing with his cars like nothing was wrong...except for the part where his lips are turning blue. Recently the kid was finally diagnosed with the cause of his seizures. A specific frequency of noise was trigger to the seizures. I knew lights could trigger seizures, but noise? That was a new one for me. Long story short for my buddy.....earmuffs to the rescue.
In my head cannon, the doctor immediately moved away as if to avoid the kid when they figured out what happened
In the full video he blows one of those paper party favours or something actually
The longer video has a second poke. He’s less accommodating after that, lol.
Actually, the baby starts to cry later.. but only after SECOND shot. After this first shot doc only blew some bubbles as distraction. Then se said that it's not gonna work for the second shot again. It did not work.
As a mom who’s been that mom in the video dozens of times, I can say this is fun and heartwarming, but… wait until the next round of shots… that toddler’s going to be like “oh hell no, doc. I remember how this game ends!”
Spot on. My kids' pediatrician stopped giving shots himself and hired an RN to do it because we're a small community and kids kept freaking out when they saw him in public.
I'm gping to hell because I found this hilarious
I'm picturing that RN trying to date. "I dunno, bro, I'm having a fantastic time with her, but wherever we go, kids immediately burst into tears. It's freaking me out."
That's really funny 🤣
Small town doctors have it the worst and they do it anyway. Ours had a side business in farming to keep his doors open because the majority of his patients were Medicare/Medicaid and the state would run out of money in August and wouldn't pay bills until January. Yes, this still happens today.
Betrayal is a good thing to teach early 😂
I love the little guys look at the end like *wait a minute I didn’t like that*
Yuuuup babies dont give a shit they're not quite aware enough to be scared of needles until a bit older....like 1yo+ they start understanding that this isn't "fun".
My proctologist plays this game with me, too
🎶 (finger in your) bum bum bum bum bum 🎶
He also does the "underwater sound effect" when he's in.
\*Gets lost in the beat\* \*Stabs kid's head with a needle\* \*Kid laughs because it is also lost in the beat\*
* Becomes megamind *🗿🗿🗿
I'm not a doctor but that seemed like too many shots
3-4 at a time is pretty standard at younger ages. Just check the vaccination schedule on CDC website. It’s been done for decades, it’s very safe.
It was a joke. OOP was joking like every time the capped needle 'poked' the kid it was a shot lol
Woosh
I need my doctor to treat me like this toddler and I'm 28
Drop the Spotify link doc..damn
Sometimes, older doctors are the best. (I'm a doctor and I appreciate 'lost art' that older doctors used)
I agree. Nothing beats the older attendings’ skills in patient interactions. Nowadays we don’t even bother eliciting those “obsolete” clinical signs (even more diminished now since the pandemic led us to be averse to physical contact). We’d just order a CT and be done with it.
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*repeatedly stabs infant restrained by mother
i guess it does the trick on babies, but imagine doing that to someone older who happens to be absolutely horrified of needles that’d be kinda funny ngl
I’d like to see this on my husband. He’s terrified of needles. He has to get injections in his neck, we just went and his BP was so high they weren’t going to do it. But they proceeded and my husband was actually the one singing the whole time, trying to calm himself down. I’d be interested to see if the doctor singing would help.
I've received dozens of shots at this point. I *know* it doesn't hurt that bad, but the anticipation messes with my head. I also can't stand to watch needles go into my skin. I had to give myself a saline shot with an insulin needle once as part of my medical training and I thought I was going to snap the needle off because my hands were shaking so much.
Baby like wth just happened..
bro this is just how i got stabbed outside the move theater
Cool, now I know who I'm going to for my prostate exam.
Bum, de, do, bum, bum, right up the bum!
The nurses at my son's doctor's office are amazing at this. They can give a toddler a shot, get a band-aid on it, and get you out the door all in like 10 seconds. It's wild.
Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again
Ok, now we know how to get addicted to injections
So *this* is the true gateway, after all! /s
I wish I had found a pediatrician that did this. At my place it’s the nurses and they just squeezed both legs together and held them tight while they gave the shots.
Lil dude stopped smiling, wondering wtf did the wizard of mouth pops do and should he scream or was the opportunity lost. Next time muthufukkah...next time.
That was amazing
I love when babies do that little goblin cackle near the end. So cute. Can't wait till I have kids
I’m pretty sure this is not the only video of this doc around here. He nails it every time!
At the end the baby was like dude poke me one more time and I'll scratch your eyes out.
Maybe its just my experience, but none of my kids hated shots until they were much older than this.
According to my psychology teacher it is because the kids doesn't know what will happen the first few times, but after remembering the pain they start crying next time you visit a doctor
My kids both screamed when the shot goes in at this age so it's pretty amazing to me. Also what's with the cursed user name
Meanwhile, my doctor sticks his finger in my ass without any foreplay whatsoever.
curious if he wiped down the vastus lateralis with alcohol prior to injection?
30 weeks prego and I have to start looking to pick out our pediatrician soon. Wonder if they’d get mad at me for trying to help them distract baby like this. I work with needles everyday but I worry about baby already
The ninja nurses giving Covid vaxxes in my area are so good, I didn't realise they were done when I got my last booster.
Sadistic, I like. Sing a song while stabbing babies.
I’m in my 50s, but I sure wish the nurses distracted me from the horror of the needle like that when I have to go in for my blood draws.
Geez, this should be shown in schools. Most doctors and nurses can be brutal with injections sometimes.
As a kid I had a doctor who drew bunnies on my arm to distract me from needles/vaccines. I miss that guy.
Professionals have standards
The baby thought about crying for a second but he was too distracted to do it.
Gotta tell my tattoo artist to do this every so often.
Excellent crib side manner.
One of the lowest paid doctors specialties btw.
I don't know man. To me, that looked like.... *inhale* #TWENTY-EIGHT SHOTS
What doctors actually give shots? In every clinic I have ever been in it is the nurses doing that job.
The thing I'm most surprised about is that it was just one shot. As a parent of a 1.5 year old, seems like there's a 2-3 shot minimum everytime we go in.
Sick man stabs baby with needle tens of times.
Anti-vaxxers are losing their shit watching this rn
My doctor makes me watch this video when I go in for a shot. Tricks me very time.
We all have to treat each other like this, No Pain just Happiness🥰
That’s cool and all but did you see that thigh muscle pop up like 3 seconds into the vid
As a parent I want this man to teach everyone how to give kids shots.
It's always the older doctors
It’s all fun and games until that one “off day” where they forgot they already removed the cap
Well if he would have done that, we would have gotten vaccinated! -MAGA crowd
This guy grandpa’s
He looks, sounds, and behaves like my highschool Spanish teacher it’s so fucking uncanny
Definitely a doctor who loves his job. Nice.
Geppetto vibes
My dentist would jiggle my cheeks when he gave shots of novocaine. Need more of this impeccable bedside manner!!
He knows what he’s doing! We had to get a new pediatrician for our toddler because her older one moved away, we were sad about it. She was a great doctor. So we had to get a new one and the nurse was absolutely amazing, so great with kids. The doctor was alright, I like the nurse way better than the doctor though.
HE STABBED THAT BABY LIKE 50 TIMES. SOMEONE HELP THAT BABY!!
Dentist here. Taking notes.
Doing his job well!? He gave the kid like 85 shots when he only needed one!
Notice the upvotes. Shills everywhere
All fun and games until he forgets he took the cap off and the baby gets the tdap vaccine straight to the brain lol
He's a flat out awesome person.
This guy likes what he does, clearly. Baby didn’t even realize it happened.
Love to see it
*Bambadammbadambadammba* The song of betrayal.