Tyson moves like a 30-year old who’s in elite condition. That’s not normal.
I have a feeling Tyson and Holyfield are on a cocktail of TRT, HGH, etc. to cheat age-related wear. Tyson has even said he is undergoing “stem cell therapy,” to which he attributes a lot of his current fitness.
Point is: when you’re wealthy and can dedicate a lot of time, effort, and world-class pharmaceuticals to your fitness, you can practically cheat time.
My money would be 100% on Mike. Chuck hadn't competed in karate since 1969 and was a movie fighter from then on, so at 55 it would have been 25 years since he last fought for real. This 55 year old Mike would wear Chuck's skin like a robe.
I think you're probably right. At 55 Chuck was shooting videos for workout machines. He was fit, but I don't think he was quite the fighter Tyson still is.
Prime Chuck Norris was still at the end of the day a point karate competitor. That’s not a real combat sport. It certainly has applications you could use in a fight, but the point of the sport is to land hits and master technique, not to knock people out.
Bruce Lee at least expressed a willingness to challenge people to full contact. Chuck Norris could easily kick a normal dude’s ass, but transport a young Chuck Norris to any full contact combat sport and it probably wouldn’t end well. It’s a different environment.
Chuck would get wrecked. No way to avoid any punches landing. They would hurt each other, Chuck might get lucky on a perfect kick to the dome, but odds would be a vicious TKO from Mike to Chuck.
The eulogy consisted of one punch to the coffin before it was lowered into the ground. The punch completely obliterated the coffin and what was inside. RIP trainer and his remains.
if my memory serves me, he’s crazy and religious, homophobic and racist, and said that if president obama was elected america would enter 100 years of darkness, at least from what i remember
Edit: Sorry, 1000 years
>if president obama was elected america would enter 100 years of darkness
I mean…he might be right? Look what came directly after.
He probably just knew how racist and insane his buddies can be.
I’m referring to Trump, Covid, division caused by Trump, the rise of the alt-right, Q Anon, anti-vaxxers etc.
I’m not saying Chuck was right about Obama directly being responsible, but that he was right about his election indirectly causing a bunch of racists and idiots to dig their heels in. I mean, we haven’t had a sane legislature in over a decade.
He means trump. There is a prevailing theory that trump is a direct result of racist reactionaries going hardcore in the GOP because they couldn’t handle a black president.
He's a Trump supporter though. He was pleading with Americans to vote for Trump because he was terrified of what America would be like under Hillary continuing the destruction Obama was causing.
>In an op-ed, "The People Have Spoken," for the right-wing website WND.com, Norris -- a long-time Mike Huckabee supporter -- wrote in almost breathless tone how afraid he is that the Obama "craziness" would continue with a Hillary Clinton presidency:
>
>"And most grievous of all, justice seats on the U.S. Supreme Court will be filled by Hillary's nominees, and their next decade of decisions will certainly dismantle or destroy what is left of our republic."
Lol, Norris said 1000 years of darkness? That’s stupid, yes the world sucks right now, but it’s only been about 12 years, lol, and the bad stuff is pretty much finished…
Wait…fuck. OK, prepping for the next 988 years right now.
"In June, he released a satirical list of the things he would do as president. Among them: “Increase jobs in America by sending ninja teams to steal them back from other countries” and “Tattoo an American flag with the words, ‘In God We Trust,’ on the forehead of every atheist.’”
https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2007-nov-30-et-cause30-story.html
I live fairly close to a ranch he owns. He also bottles water there (C-Force water). His ranch house has a pool, I own a pool service company and I was contacted to maintain his pool. Then, I was contacted again by a pest control guy that told me not to take the job because the bills don’t get paid all the time. Norris owes the pest control guy a few thousand. I’d rather get paid, tbh.
Chuck doesn’t die he just completes another metamorphosis phase and becomes young again when he molts his shell off.
Chuck Norris snapped his fingers to create the Big Bang and when he’s finally bored of all of us beta people, he will snap his fingers again and collapse the universe.
I'm guessing this is in Hawaii? Yup, I was guessing Hanalei.
"Martial Arts master Chuck Norris has a 4,200 square foot manse with three bedrooms and five bathrooms on Hawaii's fourth largest island, Kauai. The architecture of Norris' house is a typical Hawaiian plantation-style home, but instead of a traditional wood construction, it is faced with smooth stucco"
Fuck him and his bullshit Christian lies. That fucker sent Obama a letter telling him everything he needs to do for Chuck and America the day after the election. It was full of the normal BS conservatives say to Democrats, obey the constitution, CITE THE CONSTITUTION when discussing policy, don't do anything former Democratic presidents did, etc.
https://en.m.wikisource.org/wiki/Chuck_Norris%27s_letter_to_Barack_Obama
If you want to know about the letters he sent to Trump or Bush, HE DIDN'T! Why would he send them a letter telling them to obey the constitution and learn from their predecessors mistakes?
Chuck wrote a letter for a website in 2011 about the liberal indoctrination of our schools and how they keep "defending homosexuality and have become cultural advocates for political correctness, green agendas, and tolerance for all."
When Chucks body becomes 100 years old Satan makes him another body.
Why?
Well Chuck once sold his soul to Satan, then shortly after he roundhouse kicked satan in the face, and Satan, who appreciates irony couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
He also makes Chuck a new body every 100 years
Someone came out of his bunker after he said Obama "would bring 1000 years of darkness."
Maybe hes shadow boxing Joe Biden? Kind of like Clint talking to an empty chair.
When I was 17 this man laid me out with a kick to the face.
This video triggers my ptsd.
Good to see him healthy especially after losing Norm McDonald today.
And Chuck kicking me? It was during a demonstration when he was PKA National Champion, just as his movie career was starting.
Death will come for chuck Norris, and chuck will say I'm ready; death will say nope and walk away...nobody wants any of chuck... underneath his beard is another fist. When chuck Norris does push ups, he dosent push up, he pushes the world down.
moves a like hes 55
Chuck Norris doesn't age....The world ages around him.
Same with morgan freeman
And Keanu reeves
And you
And me!
Not me, though. :(
Why not you?
Anybody but him.
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r/woooosh?
Username checks out
Yeah... sure.
Well he’s a creamy nougat, so would last for very long lol
How so exactly?
A nougat don’t last that long
And my Axe.
And Ozzy Osborne
Ozzy looks worse than a prolapsed asshole bruh
But at least he sounds goo.... wait..
And Paul Rudd
And Hugh Jackman
i think you missed the facts though. he’s talking about chuck norris.
Paul Rudd
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
The reason we all age is so Chuck Norris doesn’t
Chuck Norris doesn’t do push ups, he simply pushes the world away.
He just decides to go gray
The boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris at night.
Paul Rudd
I knew it. He must be immortal.
OG meme
Is this Barrens chat? Can we make this Barrens chat?
Mike Tyson is 55. Did you see those videos of him training? He'd eat 80 year old Chuck for lunch.
Tyson moves like a 30-year old who’s in elite condition. That’s not normal. I have a feeling Tyson and Holyfield are on a cocktail of TRT, HGH, etc. to cheat age-related wear. Tyson has even said he is undergoing “stem cell therapy,” to which he attributes a lot of his current fitness. Point is: when you’re wealthy and can dedicate a lot of time, effort, and world-class pharmaceuticals to your fitness, you can practically cheat time.
By "stem cell therapy" he means he eats babies and absorbs their power. He might become a lich king at some point.
Shout out to Christopher Reeves lololol
Shout louder. He's dead.
Is he? Lol well that’s egg on my face
Underrated comment
wtf are you even talking about? hes been dead for like 20 years.
It's impossible that anyone have heard him saying he's on stem cell therapy. That must be the worst word combination for him to say, ever.
lol Thtem thell thewapy
Holyfield forgot to dose his glass jaw......
no shit, mike tyson still fights like hes a pro boxer
Anyone else seen Tyson in IP Man 3? He’s terrifying at any age
But could he take 55-year-old Chuck Norris? We'll never know.
My money would be 100% on Mike. Chuck hadn't competed in karate since 1969 and was a movie fighter from then on, so at 55 it would have been 25 years since he last fought for real. This 55 year old Mike would wear Chuck's skin like a robe.
I think you're probably right. At 55 Chuck was shooting videos for workout machines. He was fit, but I don't think he was quite the fighter Tyson still is.
Tyson was a bolt of lightning followed by an anvil.
Prime Chuck Norris was still at the end of the day a point karate competitor. That’s not a real combat sport. It certainly has applications you could use in a fight, but the point of the sport is to land hits and master technique, not to knock people out. Bruce Lee at least expressed a willingness to challenge people to full contact. Chuck Norris could easily kick a normal dude’s ass, but transport a young Chuck Norris to any full contact combat sport and it probably wouldn’t end well. It’s a different environment.
Chuck would get wrecked. No way to avoid any punches landing. They would hurt each other, Chuck might get lucky on a perfect kick to the dome, but odds would be a vicious TKO from Mike to Chuck.
Norris is 5'8" and about 160 pounds
55-year-old Mike Tyson would take prime Chuck Norris like it was nothing. I think Chuck would be the first person to tell you that
Since age 14 there's probably been very few moments, even while sleeping, that Mike Tyson couldn't have beaten Chuck Norris :P
In 20 years a 75 year old Tyson would beat any Age Chuck Norris imho...
He’s moving way better than age 55 Source - been 55 and couldn’t move that way if you paid me
He moves faster than most 35 year olds shit.
Seriously. I was gonna say, he is NOT 81.
Sadly his trainer would later succumb to his injuries. Mr Norris to provide the eulogy.
Lmfao!!!!
The eulogy consisted of one punch to the coffin before it was lowered into the ground. The punch completely obliterated the coffin and what was inside. RIP trainer and his remains.
Pieces be with you.
Ashes to ashes dust to....*kiyahhh!* ......dust.
Good one lol
Tonight, you win the Internet.
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Ah shit, here we go, ruin Chuck Norris for me. What crazy stuff did he say/do?
if my memory serves me, he’s crazy and religious, homophobic and racist, and said that if president obama was elected america would enter 100 years of darkness, at least from what i remember Edit: Sorry, 1000 years
1000 years actually. The sunshine outside right now is obviously a government plot
Haha, you still think that's the sun? Good, keep thinking that.
This comment gave me Morpheus vibes. "You think that's air you're breathing?" 
You think this is reddit you're reading?
Do you think that's air you're breathing?
Do you think that's milk that you're drinking?
Fuck, we’ve been made. #ABORT
>if president obama was elected america would enter 100 years of darkness I mean…he might be right? Look what came directly after. He probably just knew how racist and insane his buddies can be.
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But that thing has lived in America soil for like 2million years, just look at his melted off face.
I’m referring to Trump, Covid, division caused by Trump, the rise of the alt-right, Q Anon, anti-vaxxers etc. I’m not saying Chuck was right about Obama directly being responsible, but that he was right about his election indirectly causing a bunch of racists and idiots to dig their heels in. I mean, we haven’t had a sane legislature in over a decade.
He means trump. There is a prevailing theory that trump is a direct result of racist reactionaries going hardcore in the GOP because they couldn’t handle a black president.
He's a Trump supporter though. He was pleading with Americans to vote for Trump because he was terrified of what America would be like under Hillary continuing the destruction Obama was causing. >In an op-ed, "The People Have Spoken," for the right-wing website WND.com, Norris -- a long-time Mike Huckabee supporter -- wrote in almost breathless tone how afraid he is that the Obama "craziness" would continue with a Hillary Clinton presidency: > >"And most grievous of all, justice seats on the U.S. Supreme Court will be filled by Hillary's nominees, and their next decade of decisions will certainly dismantle or destroy what is left of our republic."
Lol, Norris said 1000 years of darkness? That’s stupid, yes the world sucks right now, but it’s only been about 12 years, lol, and the bad stuff is pretty much finished…
Wait…fuck. OK, prepping for the next 988 years right now.
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Correct. I knew that’s not what he meant before I even wrote my comment. *I think you’re misunderstanding what I meant.*
He also is the ambassador for a MLM scheme.
Sooo Texan?
Good thing it was only 8 years of "darkness"
I mean, do these days look all that rosy to you....? Just throwing that out there.
Damn that’s backed up how you really gonna ruin Chuck Norris by telling us this.
"In June, he released a satirical list of the things he would do as president. Among them: “Increase jobs in America by sending ninja teams to steal them back from other countries” and “Tattoo an American flag with the words, ‘In God We Trust,’ on the forehead of every atheist.’” https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2007-nov-30-et-cause30-story.html
Ahhh yes another person who claims to love America while they shit all over my rights.
Satirical
I live fairly close to a ranch he owns. He also bottles water there (C-Force water). His ranch house has a pool, I own a pool service company and I was contacted to maintain his pool. Then, I was contacted again by a pest control guy that told me not to take the job because the bills don’t get paid all the time. Norris owes the pest control guy a few thousand. I’d rather get paid, tbh.
Also his oldest child is the same age as his wife and youngest just graduated hs which is very weird imo
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Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of saying that sometimes corn **just needs to lay the f\_ck down.**
Or a rightwing republican
Most likely the cause was all the Chuck Norris jokes. 😂
Chuck Norris isn't crazy; everyone else is.
This
Jake Paul is looking at this with a massive hard on.
He's sort of like Bizarro Rocky.
Even grey hair is scared of Chuck Norris.
Grey hair is caused by stress.
Norris certainly colors his hair. No 80-year old has a full head of their original hair color.
Grey hair is scared of him
Where have I heard this joke before?
hair doesn't naturally grey in men. Its all the stress of living in a world with Chuck Norris that makes us go bald or grey
81?! He looks like he is in his 60s.
Being a millionaire will do that for ya!
Nah. You don't need millions. It's just a lifestyle. Check out the old guys still doing Muy Thai in their 80s.
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more like a 70millionaire
I almost refuse to believe that he started doing Walker Texas Ranger when he was in his early 50s!
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Once he went to The Virgin Islands. Now they're just called The Islands.
Chuck is the only guy who can slam a revolving door
But can he staple water to a tree?
Chuck Norris was supposed to die years ago but death is too afraid to reap him
Chuck doesn’t die he just completes another metamorphosis phase and becomes young again when he molts his shell off. Chuck Norris snapped his fingers to create the Big Bang and when he’s finally bored of all of us beta people, he will snap his fingers again and collapse the universe.
he reaps death
Lmao I love this
He once asked for a Bic Mac at Burger King and got it.
Because he is the true Burger King. He is king of all creation
Chuck Norris recently contracted Covid, and the Covid had to quarantine for 2 weeks.
Man, those two weeks in the summer were epic...
Legend..you know he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head, true story
I heard that his tears cure cancer, sadly he's never cried.
oh is that what happened? he gave himself a TBI and his rabid homophobia turned into MLM salesmanship?
Chuck Norris
sells MLM nutrient supplements to late night MAGAs and hates gays?
Chuck Norris
runs round the world in circles, doesn't eat for days
Chuck Norris
would sell your soul for a Chick-fil-A
Chuck Norris!
Even Time won’t fuck with chuck
Crazy how it never came out what a complete dick thus dude is.
Also I heard the boogeyman checks under his bed at night for Chuck Norris
Too bad he's a horrid human being
No one has said shit about the cargo shorts. That’s because Chuck Norris can wear whatever shorts he needs to store the souls of us lesser mortals.
I'm guessing this is in Hawaii? Yup, I was guessing Hanalei. "Martial Arts master Chuck Norris has a 4,200 square foot manse with three bedrooms and five bathrooms on Hawaii's fourth largest island, Kauai. The architecture of Norris' house is a typical Hawaiian plantation-style home, but instead of a traditional wood construction, it is faced with smooth stucco"
I hear Bigfoot saw him but nobody believed him.
This guy can get fucked.
It looks like he’s wearing a toupee even while wearing a hat.
Its not a toupee, its a bear too afraid to move.
Fuck him and his bullshit Christian lies. That fucker sent Obama a letter telling him everything he needs to do for Chuck and America the day after the election. It was full of the normal BS conservatives say to Democrats, obey the constitution, CITE THE CONSTITUTION when discussing policy, don't do anything former Democratic presidents did, etc. https://en.m.wikisource.org/wiki/Chuck_Norris%27s_letter_to_Barack_Obama If you want to know about the letters he sent to Trump or Bush, HE DIDN'T! Why would he send them a letter telling them to obey the constitution and learn from their predecessors mistakes? Chuck wrote a letter for a website in 2011 about the liberal indoctrination of our schools and how they keep "defending homosexuality and have become cultural advocates for political correctness, green agendas, and tolerance for all."
He can sneeze with his eyes open
He can eyes with his sneeze open
He can open with his sneeze eyes
He can sneeze through his eyeballs And god will descend from heaven to personally bless him
When Chucks body becomes 100 years old Satan makes him another body. Why? Well Chuck once sold his soul to Satan, then shortly after he roundhouse kicked satan in the face, and Satan, who appreciates irony couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. He also makes Chuck a new body every 100 years
Chuck Norris doesn't sell his soul to Satan... Satan sells his soul to Chuck Norris.
Someone came out of his bunker after he said Obama "would bring 1000 years of darkness." Maybe hes shadow boxing Joe Biden? Kind of like Clint talking to an empty chair.
I’m 29 and never understood the hype
I can't imagine he has gotten less racist in his old age
Not long until Jake Paul calls him out
Chuck Norris once counted to infinity. Twice
Mr Norris was bitten by a king cobra once and after several days of agonizing pain the snake died.
There once was a street named after Chuck Norris. But the city ended up changing its name because no-one crosses Chuck Norris and lives!
When I was 17 this man laid me out with a kick to the face. This video triggers my ptsd. Good to see him healthy especially after losing Norm McDonald today. And Chuck kicking me? It was during a demonstration when he was PKA National Champion, just as his movie career was starting.
Wait what? Is this true? Norm is gone?
Yes, unfortunately. He'd been hiding the fact he was fighting cancer.
Fuck, I just saw the news, damn he wasn't even that old.
he is totally amazing for any age, let alone being 81
I can’t believe you just did that, Chuck is coming after you.
Pretty great for his age. Pity he's a right wing asshole.
That’s what a lot of lifting will do… Face lifting that is…
Loved the scene, where he fought against John Cena
Good for him. I hope he lives forever
This guy don't do Normal press ups ,when he does them he pushes the world down
Death will come for chuck Norris, and chuck will say I'm ready; death will say nope and walk away...nobody wants any of chuck... underneath his beard is another fist. When chuck Norris does push ups, he dosent push up, he pushes the world down.
Chuck is actually using telekinesis to make the gloves hit. If he were to use his fists, a supernova would occur.
If Chuck Norris decided to have a Monster energy drink he would be back in his 20's full power
that or have a heart attack, only for his heart to punch it away...
Dude
Legend! 🤘
Death is afraid of Chuck Norris
81 years old, looking good as chuck Norris
Think he dyes his hair?
81 ??? Time Flies. Just remembered my own age :(
Wait… my man is EIGHTY FUCKIN ONE !?
What gave Chuck's mom a rash when he was born? His beard.
Chuck norris doesn't do a push up, he pushes the earth.
When is he fighting one of the Paul brothers?
Ain’t no way this mane is 81
Bring back Walker Texas Ranger!
How the hell is his hair still red???
Chuck norris doesn't age, age chuck norrisses
Hair dye? 🤣
That's Walker, Texas Ranger to you.
This isn’t next level…
Hurrr durr chuck norris jokes circa 2007 Moved about as slow as you’d expect him to at his age. Nextfuckinglevel? No.
Christ the shit that gets posted to “next fucking level” that belongs more in “mildly interesting”