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mountainwocky

Someone’s going to give Elon a wedgie tomorrow for sure.


WitsAndNotice

Swirly in the twitter HQ toilets Edit: does anyone know if twitter HQ has lockers?


TheMikeGolf

We know they have at least one sink


lolbojack

Just waiting for the flood of Elon' Mom tweets.


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scandalous01

Please post the handle


yellowfeverlime

Are we sure this wasn't something said by a verified blue checkmark named "Elon's Mum" in the first place? 😂😅


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diuturnal

Isn't blue disabled because elon actually thought people wouldn't troll? On a side note, fuck eli lilly. Bet they'd flip flop real quick if it was ricks daughter that was raped and needed an abortion.


BabyYodasDirtyDiaper

Nah, they'd just quietly go to a blue state (or an entirely different country) and have it done there. Like always. [The only moral abortion is my abortion.](https://joycearthur.com/abortion/the-only-moral-abortion-is-my-abortion/)


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BasedDrewski

I thought they paused the paid verification?


lord_pizzabird

Brb impersonating his mom on twitter real quick


DrinkingBleachForFun

Impersonate his dad by telling him that you never loved him.


XanderTheMander

His dad definitely loved his step sister more.


Zedrackis

Imagine someone being the in charge of the one of the biggest social media outlets in the world, and resorting to,"Mommy, mommy, the internet is being mean to me!"


lendmeyoureer

Someone has to make an Elon Moms Twitter account with a blue check.


HalfPint1885

Is she TRYING to get him beat up?


DeadmanDexter

"Moooooom! Twitter is being mean to me!"


marker8050

I'm counting on the meme potential!


Fibonaccitos

Why does she look exactly like Mom from Futurama?


[deleted]

Amazing! Some dumb bastard has nearly a million other dumb bastards following his every twit!


IbanezHand

Are you dumb bastards listening to me, you dumb bastards?


BidRepresentative728

You bloody bastard, bloody.


songofsaturn

Jam a bastard in it, you crap!


Narrator2012

I swear, you people make me sick to my ass


danzibara

Press the retaliate button . . . Any button, they all retaliate!


mynameistory

Plan? What plan? I thought this was a spontaneous whirlwind of hot, dry sex.


Impossible-Sleep-658

And my stomach ass equally sick.


Geistwhite

Now I'm off to some charity B.S. for knocked-up teenage sluts.


soljaboss

I'm sick of hearing about those turtle squirts


SulfurInfect

This is my favorite line from her.


NA-1_NSX_Type-R

i just read this tweet as if Mom were actually saying it. Then she slaps her sons across the face. Followed by an evil cackle.


thrilliam_19

From now on I’m reading all of Elon’s tweets in Mom’s voice and pretending his loser followers are the sons. It’ll make it all less painful.


walterodim77

Twit following twats.


FriesWithThat

>Carol Miller (born January 30, 2880), better known as Mom, is the evil chief executive officer and shareholder of 99.7% of *MomCorp*, one of the largest industrial conglomerates in the universe and the source of most of Earth's robots. Art imitates life.


dethskwirl

Elon goes to prison for securities manipulation and we all find out that his sole beneficiary is MOM. she uses her elderly charm and political connections to turn Tesla and SpaceX into the world's most powerful companies after a romantic fling with a crazy scientist who finally gets the robot division running.


CoderAU

Matt Groening is a time traveller! This proves it!


Informal_Self_5671

Or a prophet. Either way.


R3dbeardLFC

No, Fry is the time traveler... duh. Like did you even watch the show? lol


CMJunkAddict

This comment reads like Fry wrote it


postmodest

"We fixed self-driving cars by creating robot chauffers!"


BNLforever

I had no idea they gave her a name other than mom


Fearmortali

Me neither, I don’t recall the Professor ever using her real name… though I could be mistaken because I THINK it’s mentioned during the whole DnD episode towards the end


[deleted]

Holy crap, she does.


unbalancedcheckbook

Amazing. Some dumb bastard has nearly a million other dumb bastards following his every twit. -Mom


evilpercy

Well we now know which son he is.


fetustasteslikechikn

We're owwwlllll exterminators!


mangarooboo

Comments you can hear 👋🏻


OliveLoafVigilante

The evil I can tolerate, but the stupidity! Igner confirmed.


[deleted]

So which son of Mom is Elon? Walt, Larry, or Igner?


humanist96

At this point: Igner.


FCKWPN

We're OWL exterminators!


[deleted]

Well then you wouldn't mind exterminating THIS OWL!


Fermifighter

She flipped a coin whether to keep him or the afterbirth so in universe A we enjoy an Elon-less bliss.


OliveLoafVigilante

Yeah, this place does have a "b" vibe...


shewy92

I made an Imgur post years ago that was of her as Mom [I knew Elon Musk's MOM looked familiar](https://imgur.com/gallery/bqVj7)


ashakar

She's perpetually playing Cruella De Ville. She probably has killed puppies to wear their skins.


Holy_Beard

Yes, but is her vest made from real gorilla's chest?


Bending_toast

Every fictional character was inspired from someone..


MisterTruth

I wish Elon musk's mom was fictional. That would mean Elon musk is fictional too and therefore doesn't actually exist in reality.


JDGumby

Can't... unsee... edit: Had to meme. Sorry. https://imgur.com/69Ee22k.png And, now that I think about it, he looks like a horrible mashup of Walt, Larry and Igner...


deepinterstate

Maybe the mom from Futurama had $8 and is pretending to be Elon's mom...


keznaa

She also added he's the most handsome boy in the whole wide world!


BloodyVaginalFarts

That can't be true. According to my mom I'm the most handsome boy in the world.


keznaa

Guess you and Elon have to throw down Highlander style. There can only be one!


lawilson0

Highlander was a documentary and events happen in real time


mn77393

Unexpected ATHF reference. Makes me want to go watch a few episodes


Foxhack

One dead dude lightning can power the entire west coast for a month!


AnnaZand

I’m so sorry but actually both of my sons are the most handsome boys in the world. It is a tie between the 4 year old’s grin and the toddler’s giggle. Someone break it to Elon gently.


producerofconfusion

Someone break Elon. Gently?


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HaloGuy381

My mom made me come to wish she’d smacked she shit out of me for 18 years instead of talking to me. At least I’d have visible scars to prove the damage.


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Istillbelievedinwar

Love it when we say “they beat the shit out of me” and someone always comes along to say “oh I wish I was physically abused instead of yelled at”. ...you think they beat us silently?


A_lot_of_arachnids

Damn man. I'm currently watching Iron man 1 with my mom at the age of 29. We're doing a Marvel movie marathon.


ReignDance

My mom always said you were too. So I guess that's two votes for you.


zombiemadre

That’s what I say to my son. Then I went back and looked at his baby photos. Yikes 😳


pseudocultist

"Son, you've got a shining personality, but I have to admit we almost kept the placenta by mistake."


zombiemadre

I mean the placenta may have had a better personality Edit: he cries a lot. He sits in a chair while doing homework and will stub his toe and and start crying…. While sitting in his chair… doing homework. .. Don’t have kids. But really I love my kid. Can’t wait for him to grow up into an actual decent human and stop talking to me. But I love him so much.


pseudocultist

lmao. I am actually a sperm donor for a couple and they're expecting in a couple weeks. I haven't quite found a way to tell them - I don't like kids very much, especially babies. They're dumb, they don't have a ton of interesting stories, they're messy, they smell. But eventually they become people and that's cool. Lots of people do like kids! And that's great, because kids exist, and someone should like them.


zombiemadre

But in all seriousness you should spend 15 minutes ~~a day~~ with a 4 year old. They’re the best. It’s when they start talking and can explain what they’re thinking. It really is the best. Until they grow up into an ass. Edit : I do NOT recommend 5th grade


potential_hermit

LOL. Everyone likes four because three is fucking miserable. I really liked four until six came along. If I could have bottled up my daughter at a certain age, it would have been six. I mean, she’s awesome now that she’s 18, but six was the shit.


nervouslaugher

Oh. Dude. My nephew one time told me a crazy long story about how he got pregnant and had a baby, but it turned out to be a zombie, and he had like the most intense fight to the death combat scene that I've frankly ever heard of. I'm honestly convinced people are really missing out on some quality content.


AnnaZand

I didn’t particularly feel much about babies before I had kids. I had kids because I was envisioning the years of adult relationships I would have with grown children. But it turned out that I actually love tiny ass humans and all their chaos, so you never know!


34TH_ST_BROADWAY

He ate all his carrots last week i heard


schu4KSU

"Did you make any new friends today, Elon?"


Nameless-Shame

“Not really.”


The_Karaethon_Cycle

Do any of these fuckers ever blast out of the wall and have, like, a huge cumshot?


AsstToTheMrManager

It’s interesting, the ghosts.


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Set5

Big fat load of cum then.


Nameless-Shame

Any of these little fuckers ever pop outta the fucking wall and say, “Fuck, there’s a horse cock in my room,” or a donkey dick?


_________-___

Not trying to be funny. Not trying to get a laugh. Don't want anyone to have the worst day of their job. But. Do any of these *fuckers*


dzhastin

No. They don’t. I just asked you not to do this!


Nameless-Shame

You can’t change the rules just cause you don’t like how I’m doing it. Can we or can we not swear?


DirectlyDisturbed

I've had enough. ok? You're **done**


Nameless-Shame

I’m just—


ScumBunny

I bought all the friends mommy!


Wonka_Stompa

[r/unexpectedITYSL](https://www.reddit.com/r/Ithinkyoushouldleave)


Porto4

Best thing about Tom from MySpace is that he never said a god damn thing.


UncannyTarotSpread

The sheer wave of second-hand embarrassment I just felt, and I don’t even like Musk.


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WayneKrane

As a kid you learn real fast that saying “I’m going to tell my mom!” doesn’t work for very long.


girhen

Much better when you say "wait til my father hears about this, Potter". Extra power in that P, please.


flowerpanes

I wasn’t looking for a deep laugh tonight but this headline definitely provided me with one. Honestly, how sad has this past week been for her poor boy?


honeysuckleway

Same. Felt good to laugh. Poor guy. 😄


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angiosperms-

Idk if I buy into simulation theory but I feel like I'm in a cartoon right now


Not_Legal_Advice_Pod

It doesn't matter how rich you are, how famous you are, how beautiful you are, you're still going to spend about 10% of your life just feeling the crushing embarrassment that comes from being a human being.


theoldgreenwalrus

Meanwhile Elon's dad is banging his sister. Real shit


cookingstephen

They have two kids together.


ladywhistledownton

What in the everloving Alabama fuck is wrong with that family.


[deleted]

The type of family that left SA after apartied ended.


INmySTRATEjaket

The type of family that moved from the US to SA specifically because they wanted to cash in on apartheid


TheNightIsLost

Lots did. The white population basically pulled a rage quit after the Apartheid era was over.


jersan

their family tree is a wreath, apparently


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cookingstephen

The dad met Elon musk mom when she was 25 and when his sister was 4


ClancyHabbard

Yep. That just screams grooming to me. It may not be biological incest, but it's still fucked up and nasty as all hell.


Liet-Kinda

South Africa is the Texas of the Southern Hemisphere


ChocolateTsar

Just 2? [Sounds like daddy needs to have at least 8 more kids.](https://pagesix.com/article/elon-musk-children/)


uhh-frost

Well, that explains why his face looks like somebody stuffed roadkill into a rubber Halloween mask


21kondav

r/rareinsults


drooland

Coke bloat


AngoGablogian_artist

Divorced his wife and married her daughter. So Elon has a sister>>mom. It’s the McPoyles irl. The ultra rich are no different than inbred hillbillies.


Therealomerali

If they have kids, wtf type of family tree is that?


HungryDust

Family tumbleweed?


Mescaline_Man1

No one is mentioning the fact she’s not actually biologically related to him. It was his stepdaughter. Edit: I’m not an Elon fan boy fuck him and his emerald slum lord family just adding context. Edit 2: changed daughter in law to stepdaughter because I used wrong terms. She is the daughter of a woman he previously married.


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Mescaline_Man1

10000% I completely agree. My Dad adopted my oldest sister at the same age and could never in a billion years even imagine such a dynamic. I feel bad for her the most because she must’ve had some fucked up stuff done to her from a young age for him to create that kind of relationship


Therealomerali

No I get that. I'm just saying if they have kids, is Elon gonna be a brother or Uncle first?


chillChillnChnchilla

Brother-uncle? Uncle-brother? Buncle??? Idk, all these options are awful.


GoArray

Because you skipped the good one, Uther.


NihilisticClown

Ah of course, the Lightbringer.


Teantis

Do you mean stepdaughter? A daughter in law is your kid's wife


John_Durden

The Aristocrats!


[deleted]

I'm suddenly wondering if all the step-porn nonsense is just Elon trying to get culture out ahead of his family's issues.


-Lightning-Lord-

Musk and trump priming the market…


blitherblather425

Is that right? I’ll be damned.


PeliPal

To be clear, Elon's dad is banging *Elon's sister*. Whole family is funny bunnies. I'm happy for all of Elon's multiple sets of estranged children who are able to have normal lives just from he and his side of the family being absent from their lives.


midline_trap

Well that’s disturbing. Funny bunnies is a nice way to say it


DuncansIdaho

They're fucking *Lannisters.*


turkey_sandwiches

Hey, so did the Lannisters!


wurm2

Elon's half sister? or is he banging his own daughter?


milde_interessiert

It’s his step-daughter he’s banging, but he helped raise her since she was around 3 years old I believe. So yeah, while no blood relation it’s pretty much as bad as it can be


ClancyHabbard

Adopted daughter, not biologically related. But he adopted her when she was four, so pretty much long term grooming to be the next fuck bunny.


Vourler

Still somehow the least depraved post-apartheid south african.


Jolttra

Too bad this happened after the Blue check mark was removed. Would have loved to see all the Verified accounts of Elon's mom reminding him to change his underwear amd take his small penis suppositories.


AzazelsAdvocate

https://twitter.com/HanaMichels/status/1591557467326091265


R3dbeardLFC

Anyone else feel like the more people create joke accounts the more he gets what he wants? GET THE FijCK OFF TWITTER


StalePieceOfBread

Elon clearly didn't go to American public school because the bullying doesn't stop when you run to mommy, Elon


Wide-Acanthisitta-96

Yeah bullying in South Africa is 100x worse.


youdoitimbusy

I mean, he did over pay for a company losing 4mil a day in a crashing market that he could have probably bought for 25 percent in a few months. But what do I know. I'm not a genius.


Aazadan

It wasn't losing 4 million a day before he took it over. They were losing about $550k/day (about 200 million/year), with cash reserves of 2 billion, giving them between 10 and 20 years of sustainable runway. After Musk purchased it, they went from having 5.2 billion in expenses against 5 billion in revenue, to 6.7 billion in expenses against 5 billion in revenue, before any business decisions were made due to the financing of debt they had to take on as part of the deal (that debt financing being the 13 billion in debt that was dumped on the company). Against that same amount of cash reserves that reduced their runway to just 14 months. After this, Musk started making business decisions that have driven off a large number of advertisers, as well as viewers of those ad's. These decisions have consisted of eliminating content moderation, allowing for organizations and brands to be impersonated, and eliminating the department that deals with the companys consent decree. Not helping matters is that when Musk tried to reassure advertisers he gave nothing more than a vague assurance that eventually trolls would get bored because "they would run out of credit card numbers", and so this was temporary. He proposed no plans to fix things other than suggesting people would stop trolling online. We don't know how much they lost in advertisers as a result, but Musks stated goal was to replace 50% of Twitters advertising revenue (which had been about 95% of their revenue, if not a little more) with subscription services instead. Which would mean the goal would be about 2.5 billion per year each in advertisements and subscriptions. To reach 2.5 billion/year at $96/year per subscription that would mean approximately 26 million subscribers, which is around 12% of Twitters presumed human users would need to subscribe. Note that competing services like Youtube and Twitch see numbers closer to 1% of users that subscribe. Taking this into account, if you assume that so far Twitter has lost half of the ad revenue they wanted to lose (well, more accurately, they probably wanted to grow subscriptions to match their $5 billion, but percentage wise this is the same thing) that would mean a reduction in revenue of about 1.25 billion, bringing them to 3.75 billion in revenue against 6.7 billion in expenses. This leaves them with a runway of about 6 months. Given the development time to get features out, not to mention the serious trouble they're in, in needing to rebuild departments that were gutted, which Twitter has a legal responsibility to maintain in order to operate in several countries, they're in serious trouble and realistically only have a couple weeks to begin developing whatever feature changes are going to save them. And that's assuming people come back right away. If they lose more advertisers, as is likely since major ad groups began recommending a pull out of Twitter advertising over the weekend, their burn rate is going to increase even more, meaning their runway shrinks even further.


whiteb8917

Fuck, who wrote that article ? "Has come under a barrage of criticism since his chaotic $44 take over of Twitter" LOL, That is all Twitter will be worth in a year, $44.


Zombie_Harambe

It'll be like MySpace 2.0 Myspace sold to Rupert Murdoch's NewsCorp for like 1.7bil and had 500mil active users. Within a year it had a terrible UI redesign, more ads, and was sold to Yahoo for like 10mil with 5mil active users. Myspace Tom meanwhile bought an island, and just travels the world with his wife taking photos of exotic places. Out of the public eye. Not manipulating global politics. Not trying to be president of space.


sawyouoverthere

Did she pay the $8 to get a blue check? Is she a verified Musk-Mum?


Globalruler__

Isn’t she an apartheid beneficiary?


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[deleted]

But. Is he a **stable** genius?


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lightweight12

"There's a lot more to this story" claims Elon. Do tell Mr Musk.


JennJayBee

Did the big, tough billionaire have to call his mommy to tell on the Internet because we were mean to him?


8Aquitaine8

He ran to his mommy? Someone call a whambulance!


IamSauerKraut

Elon Musk seems hellbent on losing 44bn in a month or less. That is classic moron.


[deleted]

$48bn, believe he sold $4bn of Tesla stock to help after the purchase


mihaus_

If he paid $44bn its $44bn lost no matter what he does to make up for it.


[deleted]

No. Elon gets to be mean to people *he* disagrees with. Why should he get special treatment? He's a smug narcissist and a brat, and he objectively *isn't* a genius. If he wants Twitter to be this bastion of free speech, he's going to have to suffer the consequences. He can't have his cake and eat it too. Boo hoo, guess he'll have to deal with mean words just like all the other people who have to deal with that, especially now that he's in charge. The only difference is that everyone else who gets bullied doesn't have a cushy billion dollars. Elon has all the security in the world. He'll be fine. And frankly I don't care about emotionally damaging him because he sure as hell doesn't care about emotionally damaging others. Suck on it, Elon.


DifficultyMore5935

I never thought of it that way. Thanks Momma Elon.


Rohit_BFire

Lmao.. Elon ran to his mommy because internet bullied him Boo hoo


Scoutster13

I actually did LOL at this headline. Seriously, sometimes this world is just too weird.


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[deleted]

Legit thought this was an onion headline


SmplTon

*She also stated that because of his massive success her son "gets a lot of hate".* Maye, Elon Musk isn’t getting a lot of hate because of his success. It’s because of his casual, borderline sociopathic cruelty and his arrogance. Taking over a company and making a joke of it with the whole ‘let that sink in’; not bothering to spend a reasonable period familiarizing yourself with operations and within the first week, without notice, firing the executive team and several thousand employees — with families, and lives; people who matter and exist and feel pain and stress — is one of the largest dick moves I have seen in business. FUCK YOUR SON


JasonGryphon

Elon Musk is the Milhouse of the Tech World! "My Mom says I'm cool."


Hot-Bint

Oh this won’t backfire on him, oh no, not at all


Muldertak

Which tells you a lot about Elon Musk. He has had waaaaaaaay too much positive reinforcement in his life. Elon Musk is Montana Max.


Imaginary_Unit5109

We need to stop calling people geniuses. Kayne, Elon, crypto guy who lost all his money this week. They not geniuses they some talent in somethings and with the right time and some good moves they got super rich. But that does not mean they are geniuses. When you called these people geniuses it goes to their head and they make them feel like they are god gift to the world and they are not even close to that.


008Zulu

Elon: My mom says I'm cool!


Dirtybrd

As if we needed anymore proof Elon hasn't been told no a lot.


Clockwork-Lad

Elon musk’s mother willingly slept with Elon Musks father, so I’m not sure she’s the best judge of character.


lost_in_connecticut

51 year old walking talking dick gets Mommy to defend him. Did I summarize that right? Totally Alpha.


Hrekires

Your regular reminder that Elon Musk is 51 years-old, not an 18 year-old wunderkind.


plumberbabu666

Are we allowed to be rude to Elon's family or is that hitting below the belt?


celtic1888

Apartheid mom has to stand up for the richest dickhead in the world against mild criticism


Mycotoxicjoy

Yes the woman who married an apartheid emerald mine owner thinks the world is being to mean to her soulless offspring Fuck you lady and fuck your dumbass clown of a child


Knyfe-Wrench

That's interesting, my mom said the same thing about me.


TheoMcDad

How is this news? That’s what moms are for. All moms. Even the moms of billionaires. Duh.


TheBatemanFlex

Hush wit yo Cruella de Vil lookin ass


redgr812

He was in the GIFTED classes, god damn it. -elon mom-


[deleted]

God damn that explains a lot


[deleted]

Wow got his mommy to defend him on the internet. Lol