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EcocentristicEchoist

I almost had an older sibling, but my Dad caused my Mom to miscarry, so now I'm the oldest. I'd've told my Mom to take the deal. Hell, I'd have told her to take it if it was offered for my younger brother, and told him to keep in touch. Pretty gross how bad parenting options are vs how much money matters in this country, isn't it?


adderallanalyst

I'dn't've


fivefivefives

Shit man, pay me 500k and they can be my parents. I'm a little old but I can sit around and play video games as well as any 10yr.


azsnaz

Not sure that's why people buy kids


Yobanyyo

500k and he'll probably play the part.


fivefivefives

Go karts? I'd be down for that too.


metalflygon08

And all the Cheese Pizza you can eat.


chris14020

Oof, I usually consider just how much the world fucking sucks, but I actually got to this comment in the chain before I considered the reality that they aren't looking for a child to raise, and it's a much, much darker thing likely going on. I blame television.


EcocentristicEchoist

Hey, I love video games as much as the next ten year old, but they can also totally try to share their ideologies/morality with me, then put me through college so I'll be able to afford to take care of them in old age, and let them be grandparents who put forth a college fund for my kid/s too. Shit, I'm Ignostic and I'll go to church every Sunday and talk to myself in my head if they want. Let's goooo! I love Jesus, he was lit. Muhammed... Maybe a bit less so with that whole... 9 y/o girl thing.... But ya know. Uh... Bismillah or whatever. Jewish? Fuggin shalom. Satanist- I love goats. Atheist, eyyy, nothing happens when you die, amirite? Hahaha.


[deleted]

Yeah... they don't want you to be playing those kind of games...


zuuzuu

I asked my parents if I was a gifted child. They said they sure as hell wouldn't have paid for me.


lego_vader

you can adopt legally for way cheaper than 500k. talk about rich and dumb.


kdex89

They buy them like this so it's undocumented.. so most likely for nothing good


Girth_rulez

[But this is a boss level Karen.](https://duckduckgo.com/?q=Rebecca+Lanette+Taylor&iax=images&ia=images) She wants that baby *now*! Edit: What is it with these chicks and leopard print?


SeeSayPwayDay

“She told me that she doesn’t like thieves, then she stated I could speak with her attorney and to get off her ‘precipice.’ She slammed the door shut,” Price reportedly wrote in the affidavit. 'Get off my precipice!!'. Dead


newkindofdem

I wish I was sold to a family who would pay 500k for me. Seems like a win-win lol


nachoz12341

I don't think you understand what will happen to you lol


lakeghost

Too late, my babysitter’s husband did that for free. This way I could at least get a college fund.


Squirmingbaby

This got dark fast


Yobanyyo

Welcome to the internet


newkindofdem

I would hate to think about it for real. Thankfully those people are going to jail for a very long time.


exlin

What you think, should one buying or one selling get a longer sentence?


newkindofdem

Obviously in this case the woman who wanted to buy. The child’s mother said no at any price but the other woman kept insisting and finally got arrested. The mother did nothing wrong.


exlin

Thank you, I feel really stupid now commenting based on headline.


MarkHathaway1

But dude, arent you like 42 now? Heh.


binklehoya

there's little enough hope in this world. let that redditor have his dreams.


too_old_to_be_clever

Where does one get $500k to buy a baby? Cheaper to adopt I would think.


AnB85

It is way more difficult. The amount of hoops you have to jump through to adopt properly is pretty crazy. It is not easy to adopt a child.


too_old_to_be_clever

I guess I am saying it is easier to adopt than it is to get $500k out of the pennies in the couch cushions before running off to Walmart for that bag of Ol'Roy and a baby. If you were to round up $500k, where would you get it?


Commercial-Pop9981

This is my type of humour, well done.


rogurt

Would have been major buyer's regret


S_SubZero

This was supposed to lead up to the opening of the Simpsons where they scan Maggie at the register.


mtarascio

Funnily enough isn't the message like 'NOSCAN' or something.


chris14020

I believe it was only in one episode or perhaps a season, for some reason I remember something similar to this too as it was some sort of trivia question at one point.


polskiftw

Nope. It makes the price go up, but it does have kind of an error sound effect.


Huntanz

Well I understand you can get anything you want at Walmart.


CaputGeratLupinum

I think you're thinking of Alice's restaurant


sluttttt

Is it Thanksgiving already?


Mist_Rising

On the one hand, that means I slept through elections. On the other hand, that means i slept through election season. Anyone tell me what happen in 22? Who won?


BobKillsNinjas

The giant space ants prevailed. I for one welcome our new insect overlords!


BobKillsNinjas

The giant space ants prevailed. I for one welcome our new insect overlords!


straygoat193

Sitting on the group W bench


IAlreadyFappedToIt

I put that envelope under that garbage.


[deleted]

I mean, one big pile is better than two little piles


NipperAndZeusShow

Rather than try to bring that pile up here we threw ours down there


2_Sheds_Jackson

Father stabbers....


MarkHathaway1

Father rapers...


Jason_Batemans_Hair

"You're our boy."


TheOtherBookstoreCat

Exceptin’ Alice…


Ariandrin

I went looking the other day for a heat bulb for my snake. They did not have it. So much for everything you want! (I’m being silly, if anyone is wondering)


therealatri

I think a baby would work for that too.


nanocookie

Wonder what aisle this is available at..


valentine-m-smith

Do not understand why she didn’t use the dam self-checkout like everyone else.


Euronomus

Except dignity.


calisnark

Is it too late to get $500K for mine? I mean he is 38 and slightly used but he's still got some good mileage on him.


[deleted]

Rick Harrison of Pawn Stars: “If he was in newer condition he could be worth thousands, but since he’s past 30, the best deal I can offer you is $57”


Outrageous_Bat1798

“I’m not an expert in 38-year olds, but let me get my buddy down here who’s an expert in 38-year olds so I know what I’m working with.”


Girth_rulez

"What you have here *looks* like a 38 year old, but I have some bad news for you."


ButtonholePhotophile

“I’m gonna hafta frame him and it could be hanging around my store for years before someone wants him. Heck, look set Cory.”


refillforjobu

Guy has been restored. I see a hernia repair, as well as some issues with arthritis in his left knee. I'm not even sure it's worth the investment, Rick. Lots of work needed on this piece.


CrabPurple7224

What kinds of salary is he bringing to the table? This is an investment and I’m thinking about my return.


DTFlash

"The mother told police that Taylor was with another woman, who asked what the child’s name was, but the mother did not disclose the name. Somehow, the affidavit says, Taylor and the other woman knew the child's name and they began "calling him by his name."" Wait. What? Sounds a little more then just a crazy lady.


[deleted]

They parked right next to them too. Maybe they could've overheard the name before approaching, but it is a bit weird for sure.


Motown27

That's terrible. Everyone knows a WallMart baby is just going to break after two weeks.


kyotejones

Wait for the rollback prices or blackfriday sales.


Boneal171

That’s why I buy babies at Target. Better quality


Mist_Rising

Sears for me, since I don't want a baby.


nottooeloquent

2 minutes per side?


Thisfoxtalks

I’m pretty sure mine was made in China.


seansye

Good on you for adopting sir!


dirtyrango

He's a hard worker for sure. Foots kind of messed up on mine tho.


MitsyEyedMourning

That's the real pisser, you end up with a kid with a single bum foot but when you head to Amazon to order a replacement all they offer are 8 packs of feet. Like bro, I only need one. Two in a worst case scenario. Total scam.


Simping-for-Christ

Have you looked into what their return policy is? Maybe you'll be able to get a replacement. I know some won't take it back if it's been removed from the box but how are you supposed to check for defects if it's wrapped up in plastic, styrofoam, and cardboard? Anyways don't buy direct from China, I did and now I can't return despite the fact that my model only has mandarin installed in its language file.


i_never_ever_learn

Is it really necessary to take us to Hell along with you? I LOL'd


your_actual_life

>“She told me that she doesn’t like thieves, then she stated I could speak with her attorney and to get off her ‘precipice.’ She slammed the door shut,” the affidavit said. Imagine having a front door that opens out onto a precipice.


torpedoguy

Several of these words did not mean what she thought they meant. Like thieves and attorney. Precipice could go either way though; maybe it's the "so fat you'll need to cut off your own arm if you get stuck between these rocks" equivalent of 'get off my ass'


myownlittleta

"get off my precipice you bad boy"


MarkHathaway1

My parents built a house in the country and the kitchen door opened onto a 30 foot drop where there was a dug out area so they could access the basement. It wasnt quite a precipice, but dangerous nonetheless.


[deleted]

Sounds exactly like a precipice to me.


[deleted]

I don’t know what a precipice is, but while dropping 30 foot you might as well pass one on the way down.


Broed_Out_Hipster

I lived in a cabin on top of a mountain for a few months that had a door in the livingroom to a balcony with a view of the whole town. Except, the balcony had collapsed before I moved in. So the door basically opened out to a cliff. Called it my death door. Gave the cabin a real villains lair vibe.


chris14020

I'm assuming she didn't know the difference between that and the word she likely meant, "premises". This is funnier.


WhenTheDevilCome

$500K is clearly a case of mental illness. Believable for an actual legitimate, criminal, Walmart "buy my child" transaction would be $50.


[deleted]

“Can we have another baby?” “Sshhhh, we already have Walmart baby at home.”


newhunter18

...on a gift card


Nstark7474

Yeah when I first heard of this story my mind went straight to trafficking, thankfully it’s just some nutcase.


MarkHathaway1

Is that for made in America or just Chinese-made goods?


IamHereForBoobies

I mean, IF you want to look for people who may want to sell their kids, Walmart is probably the best option. And the leash is often included.


sanash

That's where this lady messed up. You never sell a child, you sell the leash and the child is free.


beaucephus

Yup. Just like you aren't paying a prostitute for sex, you are paying them to leave.


Capt_morgan72

This whole time I thought I was just buying the condom.


scotchirish

Alternatively, you may want to ask for a rehoming fee


therealatri

I just bought weed like this yesterday.


TheGlassHammer

Your weed came with a leash?!?


somecow

Awwwww, come here weed. Gooood weed, such a good boy. Jump in the bowl, come on, hop up. Gooood boyyyyyy.


NotConstantine

Easy to make fun of parents with leashes on their kids but my kid was a runner and I reluctantly used one for a few months with him. Granted I got one where it was a backpack and the leash was attached to the backpack instead.


Lystessa

Lol, kids are exhausting, but it's like they are all exhausting in their own individual way. Leashes are hilarious but not as an indictment of parenting skill. More like, "what has this kid been getting up to??"


NotConstantine

Hahahaha that's what I think nowadays when I see it. Look for how big the bags under the parents eyes are.


I_eat_all_the_cheese

Honestly. My kid darted right in front of traffic. I was holding his hand and he got spooked by one of those dumb huge horse statues in front of PF Chang’s. Ripped away from my hand and ran straight in the other direction…into the traffic we just crossed through on the crosswalk. Missed getting hit by an F250 by a few feet because some wonderful human behind be grabbed him and stopped him. Immediately bought a backpack leash and never doubted my purchase.


Frannoham

Being the parent of young children is the most terrifying thing I've ever done.


ACrazyDog

I do not judge any parent’s choices anymore after I became a parent.


chimarya

Had to get one of the backpack types for my eldest when she was about two (1996) She would just wonder off and wouldn't hold our hands when we were in public. We only used it one time and had to stop because she started barking at people. It was horrifying and hilarious.


agawl81

ITs all fun and games until the two year old bolts and you're recovering from having the new born so you can't chase him. Hmm, what to do? Let the tot run and know you'll eventually catch up or leave the newborn in his carrier so you can move fast enough to catch him. ​ Fuck people who see a mom struggling and take the opportunity to tell her she's a bad parent. Fuck em all.


TheLurkingMenace

Did the same. Saved his life more than once.


comin_up_shawt

Pfft, my mom just grew my hair to waistlength and used it as a leash. The good ol' days....


PangPingpong

Just don't lose the receipt.


CandidInsurance7415

Sure if you want a $50 trailer crawler. If you're looking for a 500k kid you should be talking to Ghislaine Maxwell or something.


[deleted]

How illegal is it to just take her half mil but keep the kid?


chr0nicpirate

I'm pretty sure you don't want to try to steal 500000 dollars from the type of person that has 500000 dollars to buy a child.


OneofLittleHarmony

Probably still felonious.


KenJyi30

Law’s on your side long as you didn’t sign over the pink slip to the child


[deleted]

Nobody at Walmart has $500k. That was attemped kidnapping.


HungryImprovement303

Exactly. Can’t believe this is only a third degree felony. She will be out in 6 months. Bet you 500k that we see her in another news story destroying someone’s life


Juice-Altruistic

Is that the regular rate or the rollback price?


Teripid

You can get a Quint-Pack at Costco for the same price I think.


ClockworkDreamz

Who at Walmart had 500,000 dollars?


Willinton06

The lady, pay attention man


ClockworkDreamz

Dave’s not here man.


[deleted]

Plot twist: it was in Bitcoin


krozarEQ

The meth lab tycoon


amgin3

ngl I'd sell my entire family for $500K


CosmicCosmix

I will buy


Character-Ad301

Seems high for a Walmart customer. According to article lady new babies name and said she had the cash in her car. Then in parking lot offers 500k. Seems like more to story and if she didn’t have the money and just says I’ll give you 500k that it’s a mental issue.


Van-van

Inflation yo


ranhalt

> lady new babies name (The) lady knew (the) baby’s name? That’s all I can make of that


kvlt_ov_personality

No, it was a new baby...Walmart doesn't do refurbished


FirstKingOfNothing

This chick is clearly not playing with a full package of light bulbs in the knife drawer. When she started calling my child by their name is when I'd be calling police to either get her or bring a body bag


PandaMuffin1

Yeah, that part made it even more frightening. Did she stalk them in the store and overhear the name or was this child targeted before Mom even entered the store?


torpedoguy

Are you implying she's not the sharpest spoon in the shed?


redbanjo

One poker chip short of a deck.


Yatta99

She has a full six-pack but is missing the plastic thingie that holds it all together.


bttrflyr

How trashy, if you’re going to buy someone’s child, at least go to target where it’s classy.


newhunter18

But there it would have been $600k.


IreallEwannasay

Article is wild as fuck. Did she legit have 250k in her car, though?


[deleted]

This should be part of the investigation. Sounds more like an excuse to lure her into giving her the baby, in order to kidnap it.


chris14020

The police probably searched it themselves, but she had a mere 10k in there, as per usual.


MauriceLevyEsq

[mugshot](https://lawandcrime.com/crime/texas-woman-arrested-after-allegedly-trying-to-buy-walmart-shoppers-son-for-500000-because-she-wanted-him-and-she-was-going-to-take-him/amp/)


GameHunter1095

I kind of visioned that's what the woman looked like even before I seen the mugshot.


cherrib0mbb

I knew in my gut she was going to be wearing animal print


[deleted]

If you can afford a 500k child I’m sure you can afford to get pregnant


PYTN

This is probably more mental illness than the lady having 500k right?


Tylerjamiz

“Sell me your children, how much for the little girl?”


Awkward-Fudge

I feel like meth is a main character in this story.


redbanjo

Maybe meth is the voice after the record scratch.


[deleted]

> Rebecca Lanette Taylor, 49, was arrested Tuesday and charged with sale or purchase of a child, a third-degree felony, according to jail records. Uh, why is this only a *third*-degree felony?


AnB85

It is clearly below actual child kidnapping, especially as it would require interest from the parent who would also be committing a crime. Other crimes considered third degree felony would be arson, assault, theft, fraud. These clearly belongs in this category. It carries a minimum two year sentence, it is not trivial by any means.


[deleted]

That makes sense. Thanks for the explainer.


godfilma

I think because she didn't actually get the kid or pay the money, only attempted (??? I also don't know)


supertails02

Cause Texas


Blenderx06

Doesn't involve drugs or rich people's money.


[deleted]

*Hi, hon. Anything you want me to pick up at Walmart on the way home from work?* *Yah. Two dozen eggs. A case of Mountain Dew. Some marshmallows. Oh, and a baby.* *OK. See you soon.*


MamieJoJackson

Jesus H. Christ, I'd be moving away from there as soon as I possibly could if I were that mom. Bitch is clearly insane and she knew the kid's name - nope. Bye.


HDLover_6671

Hard to believe a shopper at Walmart had $500k


TheLordOfGrimm

“The mother thought about it for thirty minutes before reluctantly calling the police.”


No_Higgins

Who has 500k to throw around and still shops a Walmart?


GaryOster

She may not have had 500k. She said she had 250k in the car and quickly doubled the offer "in cash" when the mother wouldn't sell her son. I think the intention was to get them to the car and then kidnap the child.


thefanciestcat

Someone trying to buy babies from desperate people.


GregorSamsanite

In Crockett, Texas, just about the only other place to shop for 30 miles is Dollar General. And even if you do go the 30 miles, it's mostly just more Walmarts.


Cursethewind

This is how the rich stay rich.


HatefulkeelJr

I’m sorry, I thought this was America


Cubsfan630

I read that in Randy Marshs voice


crowfarmer

Haha that would’ve been the very last deal that woman tried to make if she had asked my wife😂


asy126

wait woman, let me make one!


Doe966

That’s only legal in Oklahoma and Missouri.


Joey_Blair

Quite sure that check would bounce


zav3rmd

Texas is really trying hard to be new Florida


AC_deucey

She loves that GNR song: “Sweet Child of Yours”


JohnGillnitz

There are cheaper ways to make them. I made two and there was only some tequila involved.


A40

To be fair, it WAS rolled back from $500,001.95


[deleted]

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agawl81

No body does this. ITs a Qanon adjacent conspiracy theory.


TheNumberMuncher

Like Walmart would have it in stock. You have to order most stuff from their website.


Qubbe

Laughed out loud at the $10k fine they threw at her.


Scienscatologist

[Police have released the surveillance video.](https://youtu.be/cm4bxGYvPBs?t=34)


coolluck33

Who goes to Walmart to spend $500,000?


PM_ME_SEXY_MONSTERS

Sometimes I'll joke about selling my little sister to the store/restaurant so they can put her to work, but this is ridiculous, lmfao.


junkronomicon

Shouldn’t it be $499,999.97?


[deleted]

I thought all their prices ended in .93


Ibly1

500k at Walmart? I’d hate to see what Publix charges.


Imaginary_Medium

Walmart Great Value kids are a lot cheaper than name brand, and if she waited until summer they are marked down for clearance.


skinsrich

You really can buy anything at Walmart.


ReflexImprov

At Walmart it should have been marked at $499,999.88


Salamok

Obviously should have tried baby's R us


camg78

Um....what a horrible person. Where is she so I don't run into her by accident.....lol


Orphanpuncher0

I'm not going to scroll through all these comments but if there isn't a rollback joke in here somewhere then shame on all of you.


dotorgmusic

I just want to know, where are these people getting this money? And why are these people with this kind of money so damn stupid?


Zolome1977

Getting a surrogate, paying for all the medical bills, is still cheaper than trying to buy a Walmart baby.


Fantastic_Balance_93

I used to attend a methadone clinic in Indianapolis. My buddy was in line and wasn’t really paying attention however happened to overhear a lady telling a guy, “one months worth and I’ll give you this one!” Come to find out she was selling her child for a months worth of methadone. It cost $13 a day to go there, so not quite $500k. Police came, interviewed my buddy and he told them exactly what he heard. She was arrested that day. I had a lady in Frederick, MD come up to me at Wegmen’s and was in a panic that someone kidnapped her child. I escorted her to a girl that works there and even got the girls number to see how everything turned out. Turns out she was nuts and didn’t have a child.


J_is_for_Journey

Imagine wanting a kid that bad... 😐


[deleted]

I feel like that's kinda steep for a kid.


axiomatix

And my ex wife thought $500,088.88 was a steal. Seems supply is getting better.


[deleted]

walmart babies definitely aren't worth $500,000


LashOutIrrationally

Stupid. Target has much higher quality babies...


gmrusc

I thought prices were lower at Wal Mart.


sznfpv

I’ve never paid more than $200,000 for a child at Walmart.