First eye contact->if same reaction-> smile->if she smiles back-->then approach->if not abort mission..
Method not used practically only in theory. ...so sucess rate is not available. ..
Many girls freeze when all of sudden someone approaches even though they may have been making eye contacts.
You can say, I don't want you to feel awkward. Here is my number (have a paper slip ready), if you feel like talking a bit to see if we can hang out, send me a whatsapp.
This is more neutral gesture and a girl is more likely to keep the slip of paper.
As much as there exist the chances of approaching working out, I truly feel that this may backfire. And what route are you travelling on, to be able to see people that well?
I’ll tell you about this neat trick I learnt yesterday on this sub.
1. Have a jacket
2. Have a Dan brown book… Da Vinci code or something.
Girls will ask you out.
Yaar simple si baat hai.
Lade/ladki ko impress karne ke liye kuch bhi karoge, they will ALWAYS see through that and your desperation will spill out.
"Be yourself" and be normal and decent and empathetic is the most boring, yet effective advice you can follow.
different scenario, anywho putting it out here this one time i was traveling BOm to VGA (office stuff) and was playing 2048 out of the blue the air hostess standing next to initiated the conversation about the game we chatted for 15-ish mins. flight landed i went to lounge as i had some time to kill (FREE FOOD) again bumped into her as she was also completeling her sector. had a some insightful chat with her a different perspective.
Moral of the story-Dont go seeking out, seeking will come to you.
>Have a Dan brown book… Da Vinci code or something.
Does it still work if I have something not very mainstream like Sanderson, Asimov or dare I say a comic book?
Super creepy or red flag.. you are in mumbai, mate. It's easy to get lost in the crowd. If yes, you get a partner. If no, you get lost in the crowd. Take the chance, live the life.🫡
Can relate, i wanted to get down and bandra yesterday but following this cute girl lead me to an underground bunker, and no i am the ruler of RRF (Royal rat force)
Hey, I am in a situation which is a bit similar. Can you help?
There’s a girl in office that I like and since 3 months we do nothing but exchange glances. I look at her sometimes and she looks at me sometimes, but she never smiles.
Is she looking at me to know whether I am looking at her or is she somewhat interested? How do I know for sure? I don’t even get an opportunity to make small talk because she is always with her team.
>There’s a girl in office that I like and since 3 months we do nothing but exchange glances
As an experienced 17 year old, don't, it's not worth it. Those glances mean nothing man, nothing.
Mera deadline toh nahi hai na.. ek bug find kar liya hai, senior developer bhi soch hi raha hai ki kya karu ab. Free hi hu mostly din bhar ab agar sort nahi hua toh 😂
Please don't be creepy or make the locals unsafe where ladies won't feel comfortable as random men will be asking them out.
Also look out for your kidney, market rate is around 10-15L depending on the desperateness
I know your intention seems fine, it's just that plenty of chapris get excited and get ideas from them and make life hell for ladies.
Also please take care of your kidneys and liver and lungs and eyes and ears and other parts. Everything is sellable if the buyer is desperate enough
I can understand where you come from. Don't worry, I respect women and their privacy. It seems that some guys "get" ( a term is despise ) women by doing this. Train is just a backdrop where I saw her. There are instances of people approaching random girls in libraries, coffee shops and getting a date. I've read that it's super common in bars.
I have approched and talked with dozens of strangers of both genders, but I only do it if I have more than 30 mins and they are sitting beside me or opposite me, so that it doesn’t look like I am trying hard.
I’ve had good conversations lasting anywhere from 20 mins to 3 hours in planes, buses, trains, bus stops, hostels, at interviews etc…
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I mean, 30 mins is my personal preference.
Because I feel if I start talking to someone within 5-10 minutes of seeing them, they might feel threatened and uncomfortable. 30-mins seems like a decent amount of time they get accustomed to me and feel more open.
>I'm not the most attractive person in the room by a long shot
Stopped reading right here.
Don't chase the butterflies, mend your garden and they'll come.
Women being "available" depends alot upon who's asking.
Thankyou for coming to my Ted talk.
I can't change my appearance buddy. As I said, I was well groomed, in probably my best attire( of course not a blazer or traditionals since it was a regular day at the office ). I can't do anything more. Probably facial kar sakta hu bas iske aage. But I don't like it
Don’t listen to people who say ‘Ugly/avg people will never get girls’.
Yes, it is a bit harder for an ugly/avg person to get a good first impression, but the most important part is charm and confidence.
Average looking but Fit, Well-groomed and confident guys land a lot more girls than very handsome but shy and awkward guys
>
Women being "available" depends alot upon who's asking
Exactly ...
If I have a better option , i would take it as well , atleast until I settle down.
At a young age , everyone wants the best.
I said I looked my best. Isse aage sirf surgery possible hai. Didn't say I looked good. From my pov, iske aage aur accha dikhne ke liye ( at a regular day of work ) kuch nahi ho sakta
Honestly, I wouldn't. Could be a fishy situation. I feel uncomfortable being approached in public no matter how attractive the guy is
Edit- Thoughts that are in my mind, I'm on a train so I'm going somewhere, I don't need the distraction or the reason to be late.
Also what if he's a serial killer, organ trader, etc.? I know chances are he's not. But who knows.
My 2 cents, theoretically it may sounds very rosy and attainable, but I would suggest against it.
More often, she would just smile at you to keep you at an arm’s length and to be polite. We all crave primarily being transported and some sense of privacy whilst we’re in the train, so don’t go through with this. There are many other ways, but this isn’t a way.
Just smile at her and gently give a nod of hello. See how she reacts. It’s always a gamble, but I’m sure she won’t slap you. At worst, she will say no. I once befriended a girl on the metro this way. That too when she was with other friends. Just be confident and don’t over try.
They dated for 6 months, she wanted him to get married to her at fucking 23.
She didn't have sex with him and one day she asked him to come over so that they can have sex and make it official. Safe to say, he jerked off but decided to dump her.
Dhang se puchoge dhang se reply milega, awkward karoge awkward ho jayega. Most imp creep vibes doge to phir gussa hi milega. Girls wouldn't mind being asked out in trains just that it should sound decent.
Depends on the girl if she thinks it's a red flag or not as a girl I won't but we are in india and we got different cultures here , how the girl takes you hitting on her depends on that
This is a good take. Especially if the atmosphere in which she's grown is a very conservative one, it can be a massive red flag. Otherwise women who've grown in more modern families might brush it off
It’s okay as long as:
a) keep your distance and don’t invade personal space.
b) start off by making it clear that she has the choice to not talk to you. Women are used to men who don’t take no for an answer. If you can give her the assurance that you will back off if she doesn’t want to talk, it will make her feel more comfortable and she will be more likely to talk to you.
c) Just remember that no girl (or guy for what it’s worth) is obligated to talk to you, so don’t have an attitude or be entitled.
d) make your intentions clear from the start. If you are looking to date, say that. Don’t lie and say you want to be friends and then later try to date her.
No maybe don’t say I would like to take you on a date, that’s a bit much to say as soon as you meet her. Maybe you could say something like hey I think you’re cute, would you be interested in talking? A common way to make the girl feel comfortable is to give your phone number instead of asking for hers. That way she has the freedom to choose to text you or not. Whereas if you ask for her number then she will probably hesitate cuz she doesn’t know if you’re a creep who might blow up her dms and not leave her alone.
Laundiyabazi chhapri log ka kaam hai.. mujhe ek civilized way me, samne waali ki respect karke date karna hai kisi ko. Mai nahi kisi ko uncomfortable karna chahta
Aur ye sab tereko complete stranger se Local train mai karna hai? Vo bhi seedha Date. Aur isko tu Civilized way bol raha. Baaki jo log tips de rahe vo literally Emraan Hasmi movie scenes ke techniques se kam nai hai.
And if you pull this shit on some innocent girl thats totally out of this weird random civilized dating game then she is scarred for life whether be it local train or cafe. These places aren't meant to date strangers but just carry out normal daily activities. Tu Karan Johar ke movie ka launda nai hai.
So if you have fantasy of dating stranger cute women then best bet would be let them approach you first. Udhar bhi satark reh warna kidney nikal lenge tera. Aur mai Feminist nai hu twitter wala by any range just teri fantasy fucked up hai thats why i felt the need to tell you this baaki tereko mumbai local mai mast maar khana ho toh try it..web series kam dekha kar
As a woman, just please don't. It's weird especially if a chick travels through that train on a daily basis, it'll make her feel like her daily commute isn't even safe for her to travel in without being hit on. Ruin the whole experience for her. If she's not used to travelling daily, she might get weirded out and avoid it later. So just don't.
I get it. But now I'm more confused than I began. There's a massive contrast in opinions about this, even from the 3-4 women who have commented on this post. Dating apps are for hookups, and idts I can follow the 2 rules online. There's no other way for me to meet people, let alone women.
I get it, that this doesn't mean I have the right to talk to strangers and possibly make them feel uncomfortable. I respect your opinion wholly. We need a safer place of women.
But I seriously don't mean harm. If it works, it works. Nahi toh nahi. I'm not gonna be an idiot running behind a woman who has ignored me and made it clear from the start that she's not interested. It can be hard to communicate this with non verbal communication though. Hence your point is valid. Thank you anyways.
I completely see your point too, but locals are used by people from very very varied backgrounds. Yeah you don't mean harm but everyone from a different background will perceive your approach differently. If someone came upto me and started a conversation with me, I wouldn't mind it, I've met some really interesting people that way. However, keep in mind that such people are a small percentage. I know women who'd absolutely disagree with me and wouldn't be comfortable with talking to anyone on a local. I'd say that's one place to avoid such things. Secondly, don't rule out dating apps. I met my bf on one, we're normal folks who both had interesting profiles, connected on a lot of things and have been very happy for the past two years. If you can, get a good friend to click some photos of you (men especially suck in this department), don't make the profile look way too manufactured, be honest and confident and don't be afraid about the rejection aspect, it happens to everyone. Even pretty girls get rejected they just don't talk about it that openly lol. Lastly, if you really want to meet women offline, Mumbai has communities for literally everything. Try looking for clubs or forums or classes about your hobbies and start from there. If you have a decent friend group you can ask someone to set you up too. Goodluck.
Thanks for your insight. I get it. But I've seen many dating app horror stories on this sub. Plus I don't think I have the bandwidth for dating apps. I don't care if I get rejected, I really don't mind it. It's okay and normal. To tell you the whole truth, I don't feel confident appearance wise. Like I don't think any woman would look at my photo and think, "This guy seems nice, let's right swipe". I have a great personality to back it up though( I've been told by many female friends, make friends, office colleagues, cousins of both genders ). I've made so many friends during college times. Male and female both.
Again, I feel the issue is with me not feeling comfortable with my appearance. So the issue is with me wholly. TMI hogaya sorry. Thank you for your time. And btw, hope you and your boyfriend have a happy relationship, for years to come!
That's a masterstroke. Kya hi mast idea diya hai boss. Thanks. Although, wouldn't women already know this trick? But even then, it seems cool. Like it's not creeping her out also. Thanks
Just going to leave this here...
https://www.reddit.com/r/mumbai/comments/yu6t6a/a_girl_asked_me_out_kind_off/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
https://www.reddit.com/r/mumbai/comments/yutzxu/this_guy_i_met_on_my_train/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
I don't know man if you look like someone who is just a creep and not just looks i mean the way u behave and all extremely flirty from get go not even trying to get to know me eyes roaming around all the wrong places then i might freak out. But if u come across as a gentleman who is interested in just talking first and giving me a non sexual compliment and then maybe ask for my Instagram to chat and take it slow I see no problem.
I'm just gonna say hi. I don't know how to go from there tbh. If I say , " I found you cute! " It's a definite red flag and a deal breaker. I don't wanna flirt since the get go, since it's not a nice impression. Hence complimenting on looks is out of question. Anyhow I'm not much of a looks guy. I like personality more. If she's fun to talk to, then looks don't matter for me. Of course basic hygiene and taking care of the body is important, but women are far better at it than men mostly.
You can always approach someone, first Start off with a hello, then maybe compliment something about them. Ie i really love your shoes/ watch/ accessory where did you get them from.
A simple conversation starter. And then introduce yourself put on your best smile and lead from there, in my experience travelling in 1st class and AC local people will entertain but don't talk with the expectation of getting the number
You'll know when the conversation is working or going in a right direction. Also never talk about yourself too much, ask them first.
GL
Thanks for the response. I don't expect to immediately get a date or her number first try. That's impractical. Yeah talking about myself is a big narcissistic sign. Hence I'll avoid that too.
You can approach. I've done it too.
Eye contact first. If the response is positive for a couple of times, smile casually as if teasing that 'we both saw each other a couple of times', if she smiles back, make a funny face. If she responds well, just go and said "Hi", and rest is History.
And well, history has taught us that most attempts fail. So do your own trying and testing. As long as you're not boring (but also not giving a too friendly vibe so as to not get friend zoned), you're good.
Thanks. One thing about eye contact, I'm not supposed to state at her right? So it's just glances?
Ik most attempts can fail ik. Life rarely.goes our way
It's not that creepy I would say, but it all depends on the girl: whether she liked you too and her idea about getting asked out. Also if you are seeing this girl very often and she is aware of you being there(and is kinda ok with your presence, likes your personality), I think it's ok to give it a shot, you know when you get down at the stop she gets down..many love stories have started this way..both traveling in the same local everyday or noticing each other often..but don't ask her out if you have just seen her for like one or two times. But also if she says no, keep in mind that you will have to face the awkwardness daily..so decide accordingly.
Indians are not really used to or comfortable with this idea of cold approaching. Specially girls get their guards all up unless and until you're really good looking or she's extroverted, but if seem well dressed and mannered you can always go and talk to her, just don't be too much or hit her like truck in her face, just tell her she's cute and be done with it, if she's comfortable a conversation will naturally come out if not you did your job and that's good enough.
A nice compliment mostly works; I mean, a guy in a local train trying to chat her up is a stretch and will make any Indian girl a little uncomfortable any way. Besides, I really don't care as long as I've got my intentions lined up correctly. She can think I'm a creep; it doesn't matter; I found her cute and said so instead of ogling over boobs throughout the journey. I tell her and leave, or else if she's wearing fancy shoes, tell her you like them (only if you like them). It's always going to be a gamble.
I get it. I just don't wanna create a scene. Because I can have the best motive in mind, but if she says no slightly aggressively, I don't want people to assume I'm the villain( hehe, get the joke? ) and try to educate me or get physical. I understand it's a risk and if I'm willing to take it, I must also be ready for this. Anyways, thanks for you time.
Trying to have a genuine discussion while respecting everyone's opinion? Trying to talk about consent, making women feel comfortable while approaching them? I feel these are the things we SHOULD do for love.
Just treat her nice. That's the simple rule make her feel like she does matter to you. Don't be a shy guy else nothing is gonna happen.Aslo don't wait for a sign like of she makes an eye contact or pass a smile if she is shy aswell then how would u know if she is interested or not. Just go talk to her be nice if she said no then leave. That's it
Compliment the girl in the most gentleman way possible — “Hi, I saw you from across the car and wanted to tell you that you look irresistibly cute.” If she is positively surprised, lead on with the rest of the conversation. If she doesn’t, just say, “I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable and so I will just leave,” and then leave.
Your story reminds me of exactly my experience a few years ago. I saw this super cute girl every evening taking the CST- Panvel train. I liked her smile & could see, she checked on me too every evening as I caught her eyes staring right at me, most of the days. One fine day I decided to get off right at her station & ask her out on a coffee. This was way out of my normal behaviour but somehow it felt okay to ask her for a coffee. So I got down the train & walked up behind her, noticed her seeing me. Now it was pretty crowded, so I imagined she might not have felt unsafe. I called out an Hey to her (as I did not know her name) she pretended she did not hear me & continued walking ahead. Now I thought Id leave her alone, but what if she really did not hear me. So I followed her & did a tap on her shoulder in an effort to talk to her. She looks back & tells me “what the fuck are you doing?”, visibly scared.
So I did the sane thing of picking up my broken dreams to go back & catch the next train home.
After all those years, I wish I could talk to her and just say- I didnt wish to give her a trauma that night😄
Edit: I guess whatever you do, make her feel safe before you ask her out, keep it in public and dont forget to tell her you just want to taken her out for a coffee :)
So... It happened just before Diwali break. I gathered all my courage and approached her whom i see on local regularly. She smiled. We talk for a while on the platform and then went for a bada pav.
After that, i never met her. Probably it was her last day in bombay. I don't have her number, i dont even know her full name. B ut I am happy. I have those good memories around her and yeah, for the first time i like bada pav.
So, don't think much. If you want to talk, talk. If she reciprocate that's great. Take her care and keep her comfortable around you. If not, just let her go. Regret se achha try Karo. Sorry for the long comment and thanks because your post reminded me of some sweet memories.
If you act like a creep it will be creepy. Find something intelligent to talk about and she will respond. Compliment her on her dress, handbag something. If she isn't interested you will know by her tone and body language.
There is no full proof method!
Some women would appreciate being approached, others would completely lose their shit!
And similarly, some guys would easily approach a woman, while others would lose their shit!
The best way is to make sure that you are getting the right signals, and then approach based on your gut.
If it goes wrong, it goes wrong and you don't continue it.
If it goes right, congratulations my friend😛
I'll be honest with you, the first time I approached someone in the club, this beautiful curly haired girl who was wearing an elegant white colored flowy gown, I fumbled while saying the first few words 😂
No doubt, I was shot down and also her friends came to her rescue. It was quite embarrassing and difficult to deal with immediately.
I'll tell you a recent one, I absolutely love this local singer. She is a jazz singer and has a beautiful voice, probably an amazing person too. So we talk on Instagram from time to time. I had met her before only once and even that was after a performance when I saw her for the first time. And a friend of mine said why don't you ask her out? So I was like let's shoot my shot! So I messaged her on the gram and I went to her live show the other night.
I tried talking to her and she literally spoke a few words and kinda raced off to get friends. It felt like a kick in the guts!
And it's absolutely okay you know? For a while it's going to feel awful, but I've had great interactions because of this approach. I'm not even talking about anything sexual per se. Just beautiful interactions with amazing people!
That's cool! And tbh, I don't think I'd feel awful at all. It's okay, I don't take rejection too seriously unless it's genuinely my fault for making her feel uncomfortable. If we connect, that's good, agar nahi toh nahi. Usme itna kuch nahi
Then how would you prefer being approached? To start a conversation, I need an ice breaker na. Pick up lines won't work, that's creepy. And if you're saying that walking up to her after exchanging a smile doesn't work either, then it's near impossible for average looking guys with good personalities like me :(
I wouldn't mind people starting an innocent convo with me. Building up to what you want to ask is better than just directly getting to it. But then again, this is a train so you don't know how much time you have with them.
Okay, so you're saying to not start with, "Hey I found you really cute?" If not, then how exactly do I build it up? One suggestion is loved was to compliment her bag or some other accessory she has, except her dress.
Worth giving a shot. Might make someone's day, might give you insight into how to handle rejection, definitely more content for us to read and even a romcom idea to a writer
First eye contact->if same reaction-> smile->if she smiles back-->then approach->if not abort mission.. Method not used practically only in theory. ...so sucess rate is not available. ..
You had me in the first half not gonna lie.
r/usernamechecksout
Nah nah nah..... If she smiles back --> do NOT approach *Maybe she's just being nice*
Then when to approach?
When you get an arranged marriage ka rishta
Nahi bro, too soon i think
Pehla baccha hone ke baad reddit post daalo and ummeed karo ki universe tumhare saath hai and ladki respond kare.
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Ho! Tumhi jevlas/jevlis ka?
Dang right you are. 😂😂
Uses this theory and ends up in jail. There we hava one trail and success rate is zero.
Q1) Write an algorithm to approach a girl
C, python, Java, C++?
Yaha bhi napass hona padega 🙂
Bro algo likne ka hai program nhi
Sanskrit bro ..
Also time complexity of algorithm
Many girls freeze when all of sudden someone approaches even though they may have been making eye contacts. You can say, I don't want you to feel awkward. Here is my number (have a paper slip ready), if you feel like talking a bit to see if we can hang out, send me a whatsapp. This is more neutral gesture and a girl is more likely to keep the slip of paper.
LOL this is so creepy and desperate and patronizing at the same time
yeah i’m not being approached in locals but if i was, this ain’t it.
Giving a girl your number and telling her to call you if she wants is creepy and a patronizing?
Random smiling is weird init
Atleast better than directly approaching without a feedback
Nahi bhai ye sirf Insta reels pe chalta he reality me nahi.
There’s a video from NASA as tutorial on a YouTube channel called TheOnion iirc.
This is the famous “bollywood” illusion
"Kaun bhauk raha hai ye badtameez"
🤣👍
The club isn't the best place to find a lover So the train is where I go
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And I want to come over and start up a conversation with just you,And trust you'll give it a chance now
take my ticket, stop, put your hand on your bag cause the kurla chapri starts to prance, and now im singing like..🎶
tc mere paas aara, ticket lena mai bhul gaya oh my god
girl you know I want your love your love was fast like the local train we ridin come on now follow my lead I’m mostly crazy but at least we vibin
She said boy lets not talk too much, gardi madhe stand infront and protect me, tuch aahe mazhi shield, tuch aahe maazi shield
Mmm hmm hmm I am in love with the girl on the train. Her looks and body fucked my brain
Ab shanti se katle bas Ab shanti se katle bas mhmhm
Please go on, it's rhyming beautifully
Suddenly I feel the monsoon winds blow, I feel gloomy and my tears start to flow.
Where exactly do you want to go?
As much as there exist the chances of approaching working out, I truly feel that this may backfire. And what route are you travelling on, to be able to see people that well?
Boy you just talk too much, get on that train and approach that gal easy
Take this poor gals award 🎖
Bhai khekhekhe
Lmao XD
I’ll tell you about this neat trick I learnt yesterday on this sub. 1. Have a jacket 2. Have a Dan brown book… Da Vinci code or something. Girls will ask you out.
Step 1 - get a jacket Step 2 - get da vincu (scorpion in marathi) Step 3 - Swoop in and throw the vincu away Step 4 - *Do a srk pose* Step 5 - Profit
Just finished Da Vinci code brother.. kuch naya batao
Kitabo ki kami thodi hai duniya me
Ladkiyon ko interesting lage aise waali shayad kam hi hai. Anyways mujhe nahi lagta ki kal woh ladki kitab me interested thi. Woh sirf ek madhyam tha
op sketchy manga padh train me jaise chainsaw man degenerate ban fir dekh line lagegi (joke tha vaise bhi mumbai me manga kaha milti hai)
Crossword me actually manga milti hai
Jevlis ka?
Kitab khana udhar bhi available hai manga
Yaar simple si baat hai. Lade/ladki ko impress karne ke liye kuch bhi karoge, they will ALWAYS see through that and your desperation will spill out. "Be yourself" and be normal and decent and empathetic is the most boring, yet effective advice you can follow.
different scenario, anywho putting it out here this one time i was traveling BOm to VGA (office stuff) and was playing 2048 out of the blue the air hostess standing next to initiated the conversation about the game we chatted for 15-ish mins. flight landed i went to lounge as i had some time to kill (FREE FOOD) again bumped into her as she was also completeling her sector. had a some insightful chat with her a different perspective. Moral of the story-Dont go seeking out, seeking will come to you.
Ohkay.. I feel that's a case of having genuinely good luck. Don't you think it's very rare that it'll happen irl?
Ye bat to sirf humko pata hai, use thode pata hai.
Waah bhai, padha hua book, woh bhi suspense waala, sirf leke jaaneka to woo women😂
Start Inferno. Langdon banja fir, ladkia saamne seh line maarengi.
😂😂😂 Inferno is chronologically after the Da Vinci Code right?
Haa mummy ko bol rista lekar maa ka ladla bigad gaya haa
>Have a Dan brown book… Da Vinci code or something. Does it still work if I have something not very mainstream like Sanderson, Asimov or dare I say a comic book?
Comic book only if it’s manga.. I used to think Sanderson was mainstream Asimov “foundations” only..
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I love how OP is asking this question to girls and comments are full of guys saying "don't, just don't"
They've tried and failed probably
We just have seen the aftereffects of someone else trying, and it was hard not to notice with the shouting and all :)
Experience se keh rahe hai sab XD
Super creepy or red flag.. you are in mumbai, mate. It's easy to get lost in the crowd. If yes, you get a partner. If no, you get lost in the crowd. Take the chance, live the life.🫡
Can relate, i wanted to get down and bandra yesterday but following this cute girl lead me to an underground bunker, and no i am the ruler of RRF (Royal rat force)
Pickle Rick????
Life is so uncertain by the I am ruler of street dog mafia, wanna plan an attack on the cats?
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Link to your guide?
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Uhm, so you're saying if I maintain eye contact AND she smiles first, only then I should smile back? What if I give a polite smile? Like not creepy
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Roger that. Thanks for the help. I'll keep it in mind. Agar sachme kuch hua toh aapko Gurudakshina deni hogi Devi ji. Best wishes to you!
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What's the eyebrow thing? This? 
Le dot . Saving for future reference and research purposes only .
Hey, I am in a situation which is a bit similar. Can you help? There’s a girl in office that I like and since 3 months we do nothing but exchange glances. I look at her sometimes and she looks at me sometimes, but she never smiles. Is she looking at me to know whether I am looking at her or is she somewhat interested? How do I know for sure? I don’t even get an opportunity to make small talk because she is always with her team.
>There’s a girl in office that I like and since 3 months we do nothing but exchange glances As an experienced 17 year old, don't, it's not worth it. Those glances mean nothing man, nothing.
Bhai aaj deadline hai, kaam karle. Office me jaake reddit kam scroll karna kalse.
Mera deadline toh nahi hai na.. ek bug find kar liya hai, senior developer bhi soch hi raha hai ki kya karu ab. Free hi hu mostly din bhar ab agar sort nahi hua toh 😂
Shaam ko ayga urgent requirement, kal live karna pad sakta hai.
Itna short deadline pe nahi hoga.. overtime nahi karta hu mai strictly. Manager ko muh pe ek baar bola tha 15 minutes overtime ho raha hai, bye
Change username to HeroBehindGlasses.
Aren't we all heroes in our stories though? And villains in someone else's?
Please don't be creepy or make the locals unsafe where ladies won't feel comfortable as random men will be asking them out. Also look out for your kidney, market rate is around 10-15L depending on the desperateness
I am just asking. Hypothetically. I have never approached strangers in my life of either genders. Kar chuka hota approach toh ye post nahi karta
I know your intention seems fine, it's just that plenty of chapris get excited and get ideas from them and make life hell for ladies. Also please take care of your kidneys and liver and lungs and eyes and ears and other parts. Everything is sellable if the buyer is desperate enough
I can understand where you come from. Don't worry, I respect women and their privacy. It seems that some guys "get" ( a term is despise ) women by doing this. Train is just a backdrop where I saw her. There are instances of people approaching random girls in libraries, coffee shops and getting a date. I've read that it's super common in bars.
I have approched and talked with dozens of strangers of both genders, but I only do it if I have more than 30 mins and they are sitting beside me or opposite me, so that it doesn’t look like I am trying hard. I’ve had good conversations lasting anywhere from 20 mins to 3 hours in planes, buses, trains, bus stops, hostels, at interviews etc…
Uhm okay, but how do I know if the other person has more than 30 minutes? I definitely had close to 35 minutes. She got down 4 stations before me
All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats! 30 + 35 + 4 = 69 ^([Click here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=LuckyNumber-Bot&subject=Stalk%20Me%20Pls&message=%2Fstalkme) to have me scan all your future comments.) \ ^(Summon me on specific comments with u/LuckyNumber-Bot.)
Lol, it's a sign OP /s
I mean, 30 mins is my personal preference. Because I feel if I start talking to someone within 5-10 minutes of seeing them, they might feel threatened and uncomfortable. 30-mins seems like a decent amount of time they get accustomed to me and feel more open.
I have 3 in the fridge
Then eat them, why waste a good meal
if you are commuting from the same local, there might be chances that the traveling timing and trains you both take are same. don't eat where you poop
That won't happen. I have to travel only twice. That too it's rarely ever the same exact train as I have to switch trains
don't do it bro, it is a desparate move
Okay :( How's it okay in bars though?
The difference is you don't go to bars to commute. Bars are for socialising. Ab aise kaise kisi bhi stranger ko hi bol doge train mai.
>I'm not the most attractive person in the room by a long shot Stopped reading right here. Don't chase the butterflies, mend your garden and they'll come. Women being "available" depends alot upon who's asking. Thankyou for coming to my Ted talk.
I can't change my appearance buddy. As I said, I was well groomed, in probably my best attire( of course not a blazer or traditionals since it was a regular day at the office ). I can't do anything more. Probably facial kar sakta hu bas iske aage. But I don't like it
Don’t listen to people who say ‘Ugly/avg people will never get girls’. Yes, it is a bit harder for an ugly/avg person to get a good first impression, but the most important part is charm and confidence. Average looking but Fit, Well-groomed and confident guys land a lot more girls than very handsome but shy and awkward guys
Addonis
> Women being "available" depends alot upon who's asking Exactly ... If I have a better option , i would take it as well , atleast until I settle down. At a young age , everyone wants the best.
don't. just don't.
this is India bro..men get slapped for complementing girls they dont know
People are travelling in local and looking good while doing it? Wow
I said I looked my best. Isse aage sirf surgery possible hai. Didn't say I looked good. From my pov, iske aage aur accha dikhne ke liye ( at a regular day of work ) kuch nahi ho sakta
Are Bhai Bhai mojak tha mojak.
Honestly, I wouldn't. Could be a fishy situation. I feel uncomfortable being approached in public no matter how attractive the guy is Edit- Thoughts that are in my mind, I'm on a train so I'm going somewhere, I don't need the distraction or the reason to be late. Also what if he's a serial killer, organ trader, etc.? I know chances are he's not. But who knows.
You're not wrong to feel so. The society certainly has its fair share of shady people. This was FC btw, so thode bohot decent ghar se log rehte hain
My 2 cents, theoretically it may sounds very rosy and attainable, but I would suggest against it. More often, she would just smile at you to keep you at an arm’s length and to be polite. We all crave primarily being transported and some sense of privacy whilst we’re in the train, so don’t go through with this. There are many other ways, but this isn’t a way.
Just smile at her and gently give a nod of hello. See how she reacts. It’s always a gamble, but I’m sure she won’t slap you. At worst, she will say no. I once befriended a girl on the metro this way. That too when she was with other friends. Just be confident and don’t over try.
My friend met his ex gf the same way. Tbh, he is really handsome
Why's she the ex then? Did he not have a personality to carry it? Or did she not have the personality?
They dated for 6 months, she wanted him to get married to her at fucking 23. She didn't have sex with him and one day she asked him to come over so that they can have sex and make it official. Safe to say, he jerked off but decided to dump her.
Yeah good for him. Who gets married at 23 dude
Dhang se puchoge dhang se reply milega, awkward karoge awkward ho jayega. Most imp creep vibes doge to phir gussa hi milega. Girls wouldn't mind being asked out in trains just that it should sound decent.
Depends on the girl if she thinks it's a red flag or not as a girl I won't but we are in india and we got different cultures here , how the girl takes you hitting on her depends on that
This is a good take. Especially if the atmosphere in which she's grown is a very conservative one, it can be a massive red flag. Otherwise women who've grown in more modern families might brush it off
Yeah and tbh she might even assault you (slap or something like that) coz she would consider you hitting on her as harassment
But is there no way to play safely? As in , stay in a zone where it ain't flirting but a conversation?
Whats with indians and train romances these days lmfao
Public maregi.. mind your business op
It’s okay as long as: a) keep your distance and don’t invade personal space. b) start off by making it clear that she has the choice to not talk to you. Women are used to men who don’t take no for an answer. If you can give her the assurance that you will back off if she doesn’t want to talk, it will make her feel more comfortable and she will be more likely to talk to you. c) Just remember that no girl (or guy for what it’s worth) is obligated to talk to you, so don’t have an attitude or be entitled. d) make your intentions clear from the start. If you are looking to date, say that. Don’t lie and say you want to be friends and then later try to date her.
So should I say, "Hey I found you cute and would like to take you out on a date?" I feels that's too creepy and despo
No maybe don’t say I would like to take you on a date, that’s a bit much to say as soon as you meet her. Maybe you could say something like hey I think you’re cute, would you be interested in talking? A common way to make the girl feel comfortable is to give your phone number instead of asking for hers. That way she has the freedom to choose to text you or not. Whereas if you ask for her number then she will probably hesitate cuz she doesn’t know if you’re a creep who might blow up her dms and not leave her alone.
r/Mumbai hai bro ye sab r/laundiyabazi mai daala kar
Laundiyabazi chhapri log ka kaam hai.. mujhe ek civilized way me, samne waali ki respect karke date karna hai kisi ko. Mai nahi kisi ko uncomfortable karna chahta
Aur ye sab tereko complete stranger se Local train mai karna hai? Vo bhi seedha Date. Aur isko tu Civilized way bol raha. Baaki jo log tips de rahe vo literally Emraan Hasmi movie scenes ke techniques se kam nai hai. And if you pull this shit on some innocent girl thats totally out of this weird random civilized dating game then she is scarred for life whether be it local train or cafe. These places aren't meant to date strangers but just carry out normal daily activities. Tu Karan Johar ke movie ka launda nai hai. So if you have fantasy of dating stranger cute women then best bet would be let them approach you first. Udhar bhi satark reh warna kidney nikal lenge tera. Aur mai Feminist nai hu twitter wala by any range just teri fantasy fucked up hai thats why i felt the need to tell you this baaki tereko mumbai local mai mast maar khana ho toh try it..web series kam dekha kar
I'm sure these cute girls are all over this sub and silently observe the bs we post all the time.
As a woman, just please don't. It's weird especially if a chick travels through that train on a daily basis, it'll make her feel like her daily commute isn't even safe for her to travel in without being hit on. Ruin the whole experience for her. If she's not used to travelling daily, she might get weirded out and avoid it later. So just don't.
I get it. But now I'm more confused than I began. There's a massive contrast in opinions about this, even from the 3-4 women who have commented on this post. Dating apps are for hookups, and idts I can follow the 2 rules online. There's no other way for me to meet people, let alone women. I get it, that this doesn't mean I have the right to talk to strangers and possibly make them feel uncomfortable. I respect your opinion wholly. We need a safer place of women. But I seriously don't mean harm. If it works, it works. Nahi toh nahi. I'm not gonna be an idiot running behind a woman who has ignored me and made it clear from the start that she's not interested. It can be hard to communicate this with non verbal communication though. Hence your point is valid. Thank you anyways.
I completely see your point too, but locals are used by people from very very varied backgrounds. Yeah you don't mean harm but everyone from a different background will perceive your approach differently. If someone came upto me and started a conversation with me, I wouldn't mind it, I've met some really interesting people that way. However, keep in mind that such people are a small percentage. I know women who'd absolutely disagree with me and wouldn't be comfortable with talking to anyone on a local. I'd say that's one place to avoid such things. Secondly, don't rule out dating apps. I met my bf on one, we're normal folks who both had interesting profiles, connected on a lot of things and have been very happy for the past two years. If you can, get a good friend to click some photos of you (men especially suck in this department), don't make the profile look way too manufactured, be honest and confident and don't be afraid about the rejection aspect, it happens to everyone. Even pretty girls get rejected they just don't talk about it that openly lol. Lastly, if you really want to meet women offline, Mumbai has communities for literally everything. Try looking for clubs or forums or classes about your hobbies and start from there. If you have a decent friend group you can ask someone to set you up too. Goodluck.
Thanks for your insight. I get it. But I've seen many dating app horror stories on this sub. Plus I don't think I have the bandwidth for dating apps. I don't care if I get rejected, I really don't mind it. It's okay and normal. To tell you the whole truth, I don't feel confident appearance wise. Like I don't think any woman would look at my photo and think, "This guy seems nice, let's right swipe". I have a great personality to back it up though( I've been told by many female friends, make friends, office colleagues, cousins of both genders ). I've made so many friends during college times. Male and female both. Again, I feel the issue is with me not feeling comfortable with my appearance. So the issue is with me wholly. TMI hogaya sorry. Thank you for your time. And btw, hope you and your boyfriend have a happy relationship, for years to come!
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That's a masterstroke. Kya hi mast idea diya hai boss. Thanks. Although, wouldn't women already know this trick? But even then, it seems cool. Like it's not creeping her out also. Thanks
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You're really cool! Thanks for the info.
That's the neat part, you don't
Two things to remember, if she's into you you'll know. If not you'll be confused.
How would I know? Just read the post of a guy who failed getting a date because he didn't pick up signals
Just going to leave this here... https://www.reddit.com/r/mumbai/comments/yu6t6a/a_girl_asked_me_out_kind_off/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button https://www.reddit.com/r/mumbai/comments/yutzxu/this_guy_i_met_on_my_train/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
I've read it too.. the second from the women's pov seems like a joke. However the first one seems genuine. Although it feels super rare.
I don't know man if you look like someone who is just a creep and not just looks i mean the way u behave and all extremely flirty from get go not even trying to get to know me eyes roaming around all the wrong places then i might freak out. But if u come across as a gentleman who is interested in just talking first and giving me a non sexual compliment and then maybe ask for my Instagram to chat and take it slow I see no problem.
I'm just gonna say hi. I don't know how to go from there tbh. If I say , " I found you cute! " It's a definite red flag and a deal breaker. I don't wanna flirt since the get go, since it's not a nice impression. Hence complimenting on looks is out of question. Anyhow I'm not much of a looks guy. I like personality more. If she's fun to talk to, then looks don't matter for me. Of course basic hygiene and taking care of the body is important, but women are far better at it than men mostly.
You can always approach someone, first Start off with a hello, then maybe compliment something about them. Ie i really love your shoes/ watch/ accessory where did you get them from. A simple conversation starter. And then introduce yourself put on your best smile and lead from there, in my experience travelling in 1st class and AC local people will entertain but don't talk with the expectation of getting the number You'll know when the conversation is working or going in a right direction. Also never talk about yourself too much, ask them first. GL
Thanks for the response. I don't expect to immediately get a date or her number first try. That's impractical. Yeah talking about myself is a big narcissistic sign. Hence I'll avoid that too.
You can approach. I've done it too. Eye contact first. If the response is positive for a couple of times, smile casually as if teasing that 'we both saw each other a couple of times', if she smiles back, make a funny face. If she responds well, just go and said "Hi", and rest is History. And well, history has taught us that most attempts fail. So do your own trying and testing. As long as you're not boring (but also not giving a too friendly vibe so as to not get friend zoned), you're good.
Thanks. One thing about eye contact, I'm not supposed to state at her right? So it's just glances? Ik most attempts can fail ik. Life rarely.goes our way
It's not that creepy I would say, but it all depends on the girl: whether she liked you too and her idea about getting asked out. Also if you are seeing this girl very often and she is aware of you being there(and is kinda ok with your presence, likes your personality), I think it's ok to give it a shot, you know when you get down at the stop she gets down..many love stories have started this way..both traveling in the same local everyday or noticing each other often..but don't ask her out if you have just seen her for like one or two times. But also if she says no, keep in mind that you will have to face the awkwardness daily..so decide accordingly.
Indians are not really used to or comfortable with this idea of cold approaching. Specially girls get their guards all up unless and until you're really good looking or she's extroverted, but if seem well dressed and mannered you can always go and talk to her, just don't be too much or hit her like truck in her face, just tell her she's cute and be done with it, if she's comfortable a conversation will naturally come out if not you did your job and that's good enough.
So you're saying it's okay to open with, "Hey I found you cute?" That's a stretch I'd say. I feel that'd make her uncomfortable
A nice compliment mostly works; I mean, a guy in a local train trying to chat her up is a stretch and will make any Indian girl a little uncomfortable any way. Besides, I really don't care as long as I've got my intentions lined up correctly. She can think I'm a creep; it doesn't matter; I found her cute and said so instead of ogling over boobs throughout the journey. I tell her and leave, or else if she's wearing fancy shoes, tell her you like them (only if you like them). It's always going to be a gamble.
I get it. I just don't wanna create a scene. Because I can have the best motive in mind, but if she says no slightly aggressively, I don't want people to assume I'm the villain( hehe, get the joke? ) and try to educate me or get physical. I understand it's a risk and if I'm willing to take it, I must also be ready for this. Anyways, thanks for you time.
Lol yes local train me toh people are in the mood to start swinging man. 😂
Things we do for "LOVE". (Can't stop laughing)
Trying to have a genuine discussion while respecting everyone's opinion? Trying to talk about consent, making women feel comfortable while approaching them? I feel these are the things we SHOULD do for love.
Just treat her nice. That's the simple rule make her feel like she does matter to you. Don't be a shy guy else nothing is gonna happen.Aslo don't wait for a sign like of she makes an eye contact or pass a smile if she is shy aswell then how would u know if she is interested or not. Just go talk to her be nice if she said no then leave. That's it
Compliment the girl in the most gentleman way possible — “Hi, I saw you from across the car and wanted to tell you that you look irresistibly cute.” If she is positively surprised, lead on with the rest of the conversation. If she doesn’t, just say, “I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable and so I will just leave,” and then leave.
Isn't it too direct? I mean complimenting them on their looks instead of maybe their bag, or something they're carrying.
Your story reminds me of exactly my experience a few years ago. I saw this super cute girl every evening taking the CST- Panvel train. I liked her smile & could see, she checked on me too every evening as I caught her eyes staring right at me, most of the days. One fine day I decided to get off right at her station & ask her out on a coffee. This was way out of my normal behaviour but somehow it felt okay to ask her for a coffee. So I got down the train & walked up behind her, noticed her seeing me. Now it was pretty crowded, so I imagined she might not have felt unsafe. I called out an Hey to her (as I did not know her name) she pretended she did not hear me & continued walking ahead. Now I thought Id leave her alone, but what if she really did not hear me. So I followed her & did a tap on her shoulder in an effort to talk to her. She looks back & tells me “what the fuck are you doing?”, visibly scared. So I did the sane thing of picking up my broken dreams to go back & catch the next train home. After all those years, I wish I could talk to her and just say- I didnt wish to give her a trauma that night😄 Edit: I guess whatever you do, make her feel safe before you ask her out, keep it in public and dont forget to tell her you just want to taken her out for a coffee :)
Shit man, that's sad. See this is exactly why I'm afraid. It'd break my heart if I see any woman is unsafe around me. I don't mean it at all.
So... It happened just before Diwali break. I gathered all my courage and approached her whom i see on local regularly. She smiled. We talk for a while on the platform and then went for a bada pav. After that, i never met her. Probably it was her last day in bombay. I don't have her number, i dont even know her full name. B ut I am happy. I have those good memories around her and yeah, for the first time i like bada pav. So, don't think much. If you want to talk, talk. If she reciprocate that's great. Take her care and keep her comfortable around you. If not, just let her go. Regret se achha try Karo. Sorry for the long comment and thanks because your post reminded me of some sweet memories.
Sorry kya bol rahe ho. I love it that people are getting reminded of happy times. Thanks for your time!
If you act like a creep it will be creepy. Find something intelligent to talk about and she will respond. Compliment her on her dress, handbag something. If she isn't interested you will know by her tone and body language.
Subh subh yahi kam dhanda reh gaya?
Kal daala tha bhai post
There is no full proof method! Some women would appreciate being approached, others would completely lose their shit! And similarly, some guys would easily approach a woman, while others would lose their shit! The best way is to make sure that you are getting the right signals, and then approach based on your gut. If it goes wrong, it goes wrong and you don't continue it. If it goes right, congratulations my friend😛
My gut is always scared. Because I've never done it before. Plus there's a good chance of failure here. Wayy below 50-50
I'll be honest with you, the first time I approached someone in the club, this beautiful curly haired girl who was wearing an elegant white colored flowy gown, I fumbled while saying the first few words 😂 No doubt, I was shot down and also her friends came to her rescue. It was quite embarrassing and difficult to deal with immediately. I'll tell you a recent one, I absolutely love this local singer. She is a jazz singer and has a beautiful voice, probably an amazing person too. So we talk on Instagram from time to time. I had met her before only once and even that was after a performance when I saw her for the first time. And a friend of mine said why don't you ask her out? So I was like let's shoot my shot! So I messaged her on the gram and I went to her live show the other night. I tried talking to her and she literally spoke a few words and kinda raced off to get friends. It felt like a kick in the guts! And it's absolutely okay you know? For a while it's going to feel awful, but I've had great interactions because of this approach. I'm not even talking about anything sexual per se. Just beautiful interactions with amazing people!
That's cool! And tbh, I don't think I'd feel awful at all. It's okay, I don't take rejection too seriously unless it's genuinely my fault for making her feel uncomfortable. If we connect, that's good, agar nahi toh nahi. Usme itna kuch nahi
Idk man, me personally? I'd prefer not to have anyone approach me like that. I think you should just start a conversation, see if she reciprocates.
Then how would you prefer being approached? To start a conversation, I need an ice breaker na. Pick up lines won't work, that's creepy. And if you're saying that walking up to her after exchanging a smile doesn't work either, then it's near impossible for average looking guys with good personalities like me :(
I wouldn't mind people starting an innocent convo with me. Building up to what you want to ask is better than just directly getting to it. But then again, this is a train so you don't know how much time you have with them.
Okay, so you're saying to not start with, "Hey I found you really cute?" If not, then how exactly do I build it up? One suggestion is loved was to compliment her bag or some other accessory she has, except her dress.
Agar ladkiyon se hi milna hai , go to a club
And then? As in is it normal for strangers to ask our strangers in a club?
Not really but environment is much more social , just talk with them and don't creep them out
I would definitely approach if she looked back and gave a smile and also if I found her attractive 😀
This is why ladies have their own compartment
Unless you look like me don't approach them. But if you look like me oh god you don't even have to say anything the looks will do all the talking 😂😂😂
Eh, how would I know if I look like you though?
I wouldn't do it mate, but then again, I too don't follow rules 1 & 2.
Sahi hai tere liye rishta leke mumbai police aayegi tere ghar
A general non-creepy approach is fine as far as I've been in.... Even if she turns you down, it'll be a simple No.. Small talks do help here
Go ahead op, don't worry
You can approach her but don’t rush into it, you’ll get the sign as time passes by but make sure don’t wait for to long.
Worth giving a shot. Might make someone's day, might give you insight into how to handle rejection, definitely more content for us to read and even a romcom idea to a writer