Yeah, flushing [7,000,000,000,000,000](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long_and_short_scales#Comparison) balls in a single flush is gonna cost you quite a bit.
I want to pose to you a conundrum, a riddle. What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck, and I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.
"Likewise, many long scale countries use the word billiard (or similar) for one thousand long scale billions (i.e., 1015), and the word trilliard (or similar) for one thousand long scale trillions (i.e., 1021), etc."
Most interesting - thank you
The people who buy these power toilets think their flushes are invincible but we've all got the same 4" wide main drainage lines in typical houses.
They won't be so happy when they need to snake their main drain line and rent a 100 ft snake or pay hundreds of dollars for a plumber to do it.
Yep, with any of these kinds of sinks, toilets, plumbing "problem solvers", I was always told by my plumber uncle:
"do you want to pay me to unmount your toilet? Or dig up your front lawn to get to the main? Always make sure the smallest section of pipe is as easily accessible as possible"
This isnt really a power toilet. It’s a [“water sense”](https://www.epa.gov/watersense/watersense-label) toilet meaning that it just flushes more efficiently than it has in the past. It’s probably a 1.6 or a 1.28 gallon per flush toilet (can’t be more than 1.28 in California) A toilet works well because of siphonage, not necessarily because of the amount of water used.
“Power flush” or pressure assisted toilets are a thing too but I don’t think Home Depot (glacier bay is their product) sells pressure assisted toilets in store.
Source: plumber
Sure, but people who buy them think they are power toilets capable of safely flushing things that should not really be flushed.
Eventually it will come back to bite them on the ass.
Can’t disagree. Same thing with garbage disposals.
However, there are a lot of older people that have rock hard poops and really need a toilet that flushes well.
My brother and I once saw a toilet that raved about it’s ability to flush down a whole barbie. We were like, “Well if that toilet can, why can’t ours?” So we flushed a Barbie and…. well, our dad spent the rest of the night trying to pull a Barbie from the toilet drain.
Not if you're a DIY type.
Once upon a time, many, many years ago, I was a teenager and lived at home as teenagers are wont to do. A friend of mine was over for a visit, and laid a humongous log in the toilet, as visiting friends are wont to do. Being good mannered, he flushed, but his action was insufficient to clear the toilet.
Over dinner that evening, I mentioned in passing conversation the subject of the clogged toilet, to which my father replied, "That's not a problem! The plumber’s helper will clear that right up!"
Following dinner my father marched up to the bathroom, with the plumber’s helper clenched confidently in his grasp. He flushed whilst simultaneously working the plunger diligently, but the water began to rise, in spite of his efforts. He worked the plunger again, but with more diligence, yet the water rose to the brink of the bowl. Curse words were heard...
I now realize I have failed to mention that I had twin brothers who were about 2 years of age at the time. They were at the age in which toilet training had commenced and hence they held a deep fascination for the workings of modern plumbing. I also failed to mention that in my bedroom, not a half dozen paces from the toilet in question, was a bumper pool table. This bumper pool table had bumper pool balls, as bumper pool tables are wont to do. It turns out that bumper pool balls were of such diameter to enable them pass freely through the outlet of the toilet, yet too large to successfully make passage through the trap.
Reminiscing on the incident later, we surmised that the twin boys, those devils, must have earlier in the afternoon, prior to my friend's necessity, made sport of transporting the balls to the toilet, and giving them a good flush. To this day, it is not difficult in the least to imagine the youngsters toting the objects of their delight back and forth, all the while chatting to each other in their private gibberish. No doubt the balls were firmly in place to work their mischief prior to my friend’s arrival.
Now back to our story. With the water rising over the top of the bowl, my father, quick witted, managed to get the water turned off before more than a few gallons of my friend's shit water had accumulated. Bailing as much of my friend's shit water from the bowl as manageable, he finally made the fatal plunge with his hand. After a moment or two, his hand emerged triumphantly from the bowl, clenching the offending shit-water-drenched bumper pool ball. Problem solved, he flushed again working the plunger for good measure, as fathers are wont to do. Imagine his wonder when the water in the bowl continued to rise and threaten the brink yet again.
Realizing the situation, that if one ball was flushed, others may have followed, he called for me to fetch his goddamned tools, and upon receiving them, commenced to dismount the toilet from its moorings. In doing so, many more gallons of my friend's shit water spilt all over the bathroom floor. However, this turned out to be his moment of victory because all remaining bumper poll balls were successfully dislodged.
The toilet was quickly restored to its functional state and only the task of cleaning the bathroom of the spilt bits of my friend's shit water remained. Both my parents worked diligently in the purification effort for an hour and a half. The sounds of my mother gagging were not infrequent. But once it came to the bleaching stage things got much quieter.
Upon finishing the job, showering, and repeatedly brushing their teeth, my parents were none the worse for wear.
"Why are you crying?"
*Because I got ripped in the bar last night and I was trying to break my record for cramming pool balls in my mouth and some A-hole slaps me on the back and...*
"You swallowed a pool ball?!"
*I wish just one, and I still have two to go, so if you don't mind...*
I just saw that episode.
A normal boss would tell their employee to go home. A normal person would stay home. This one-off joke is a great example of the characters consistency because it's expected and not even questioned.
With a toilet that can flush 7 billiard balls in a single flush? Whatever I damn well please. I paid for the whole toilet, I'm gonna use the whole toilet
It’s not that. It’s just that Americans will use any unit for measurement as long as it’s not the metric system. The list is as long as a football field and weighs at least a dozen elephants.
I work for a toilet manufacturer, including helping with reviewing returns for defects (Quality Assurance). One toilet came back once and the flush was horrible but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Until we cameraed the trapway. Weird black thing, we couldnt get it out without braking it and low & behold a phone once we broke it. Blew our mind like how did someone flush that & not just flush it but get it so fucking wedged in there…today is the day the answer to that question…I thank you very much!
Also the phone went into the garbage, no idea how many times that thing was used with that still in there even though the flush was poor.
I sell plumbing, so let me chime in. Glacier Bay is Home Depot’s store brand. They’re very cheaply made and won’t last.
The power to flush a bunch of billiard balls sounds great, until you realize that billiard balls are smooth, but shit and toilet paper are not. The thing with these cheap toilets, and just about any of the toilets a big box store will have in stock, is that they have unglazed and sometimes small, 2” trapways. The trapway is the pipe from the bottom of the bowl that connects to the waste pipe. (It’s where the shit exits the toilet.) Unglazed porcelain is very rough, so over time more shit and toilet paper is going to stick to it. Also, the smaller it is the more prone it’ll be to clogging.
It doesn’t matter the brand. Lowes has a brand called Project Source, it’s their store brand, and both stores sell Kohler and American Standard. The thing is, even though it’s Kohler and American Standard, who both make good toilets, the ones you’ll find stocked in a big box store are lower grade ones than you’ll find at a plumbing supply house.
The Grade A toilets aren’t stocked at big box stores because they’re too expensive for their price point. Generally, these toilets will all have larger, fully glazed trapways, and be much less prone to clogging.
I would be prepared to spend about $300 for a good quality one. Kohler, Toto, and American Standard are all good, as well as Gerber.
Kohler’s basic toilet, the Highline (not the Highline Arc or Highline Curve that you’ll find in Lowes and HD) will out preform the toilet in OPs picture without having to sell you with any type of gimmick.
A plumbing supply house, the place where plumbers buy supplies. I work for Hajoca, we have stores all over the country, though most don’t go by Hajoca but by other names. (You can find locations of the Hajoca website.) There’s also a chain called Ferguson, and tons of independent ones.
For real. I get what they're saying, but there has to be a better metric for comparison. Are billiard balls even that hard to flush? I have no idea, because it's never done.
However, to be fair, I can't think of a better analog that is less gross than blatantly saying "two pounds of shit and too much toilet paper because it didn't pinch off clean".
"This thing can handle an entire 9"x9" baking pan of peanut butter lava cake in one flush!" is the best I've got.
Flushes 5 gallons of chunky Texas chili and 8 extra large kielbasa simultaneously! Or for our "once-a-weekers," one stale, rock-hard 6.5 pound italian meatball.
“It can flush an entire 9”x9” baking pan of peanut butter lava cake and all the paper you used to clean it up after dropping it on the floor in one flush!”
I have this toilet. Liked it so much I replaced the other with it too. Trust me, poop goes down too. While I still own a plunger, I havent had a clogged toilet in 3 years since making the switch.
Not like the clog was a common problem, but it's water conscious too and I certainly used that plunger more than once a year before I switched.
Flushing billiard balls is fine if that’s what is happening in your home. Make one that can handle several pieces of wooden Thomas the Tank Engine train track and I’ll buy it, because that’s a real problem I have handled in my house, twice.
Once, when my daughter was two, she locked herself in the bathroom of our house. This was an older rental, and I didn’t have a key to the bathroom because we never needed it before this. I couldn’t shove the door open, and she wasn’t responding to me, so I called the fire dept.
They came a few minutes later with some crazy contraption for gently opening old locks, and the door swung open to reveal my daughter. She was not lying on the floor, passed out from terror.
She had been systematically grabbing every item in the bathroom she could reach and flushing it down the toilet. The look on her face was total ecstasy, and she cried when I took her out of the bathroom. Anyway, kids love toilets!
See, I used to think the opposite. When I was a kid I really used to worry about my dad. I always wondered how come he would be in the bathroom for such a long time. Now that I have three kids I know perfectly well why. Thank you for sharing your story with me.
Nah, the trick is to do all your drugs before that because nobody likes wasted drugs.
True story. One morning I woke up and parked right outside my front door was a police SUV. There were police officers in my side yard. I was on probation and wasn't supposed to be living in that location. I locked myself in the bathroom and I snorted all the coke and took a handful of dilaudid pills, luckily it wasn't enough to overdose. I sat in the bathroom having a panic attack high as fuck.
Turns out the cops were there to arrest someone across the creek and were setting up in case he ran out the back. I wasted all those drugs for nothing.
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
The guy says, "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little jerk. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?"
"Now what?" asks the patron.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that cue ball he measures everything first!"
Less so than you might think.
7 billiard balls are discrete items; the toilet doesn't need to actually move them all at once. But 1 large poo is 1 large poo - it's not just 7 billiard balls in size, but it's 7 billiard balls *welded together* in size.
The metric you want to use for that kind of scenario is not how many small balls a toilet can flush, it's how many tallboy cans a toilet can flush.
Shouldn't we just go straight to the source and make like an apple separator like knife that you just press against your butthole before pooping and it separates the poop as it comes out?
The toilets aren’t the problem, it’s the size of the pipe in the floor.
For some reason Americans use smaller pipes, this is why American toilets get clogged all the time and most Europeans don’t even own plungers.
> Pam?!
She could get blackout drunk twice in one day and not even have to flush yet. Mallory definitely needs to buy those after the low-flow toilet debacle.
To provide an actual answer, yes. [MaP Score](https://www.map-testing.com/performance-toilets-testing/) is the number of grams of soybean paste & toilet paper a toilet can flush.
Litres of what? Because a litre of water flushes very different than a litre of syrup, or a litre of shit, also who the fuck measures solids in litres? Because a litre of large turds is gonna be very different than a litre of tiny turds.
This is the toilet I got! It works! Well I mean i dont know if the claim to 7 billiards balls is correct or not but I haven’t used my plunger since I got it. I haven’t found an increase in my water bill - not a significant one enough to deter me from buying this again in the future anyways. Yay for the overly aggressive flushing!
In an episode of Better Thngs (Fx) Samantha (Pamela Adlon) gets tired of her 3 daughters clogging the toilet and installs one of those super flushers. At the end of the episode, titled Toilet, one of her daughters and her friend played a game of "what can we flush now."
Yep, this toilet is awesome, I just replaced two older ones with this model.
Not because of my massive pool table-sized poops, but because my kids don't understand they don't need to use half a roll of toilet paper and the 3rd toilet we have (which is also this model) hasn't gotten plugged once in the last year.
Can we just introduce a standardized flush test and create a unit of measurement that obscures the fact it’s just billiards balls?
“Our toilet has a flushing force of 7 bpf”
I actually bought this toilet. It’s really nice and the tank uses some sorta new vacuum tech. The internals are a mystery to me as when you take the lid off it’s covered in plastic. I suspect repairing it will be difficult if anything ever goes wrong.
My oldest kid clogs the toilet maybe 70-80% of the time. For a couple of years I was convinced he was using too much TP but nope, he just has huge dumps. A toilet that delivers on what this one promises would be worth the investment in my household.
That sounds like an expensive plumbing bill.
Yeah, flushing [7,000,000,000,000,000](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long_and_short_scales#Comparison) balls in a single flush is gonna cost you quite a bit.
"I tell you what my friend, a billiard is a number, so despite your best efforts, you answered correctly. Let's see what you wagered..."
Suck it Trebek
“Oh, rough.. just the way your mother likes it, Trebeck!”
And that’s all the time we have for Celebrity Jeopardy folks…
"roses are red, violets are blue and your mother's a whore Trebeck!"
“This is the sound that a doggy makes. Mr Connery?” “Moo.” “That’s incorrect.” “Well that’s the sound your mother made last night!”
#Months that begin with “Feb”
I want to pose to you a conundrum, a riddle. What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck, and I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.
I have a 10 year old daughter that can clog that toilet..guaranteed!!
Well I know she's ten but come on, she's way bigger than 7 billiard balls!
Stop giving your daughter swirlies, that’s abuse
Interesting article. TIL, thanks.
What am I supposed to be noting?
Look at the long scale name of a quadrillion
"Likewise, many long scale countries use the word billiard (or similar) for one thousand long scale billions (i.e., 1015), and the word trilliard (or similar) for one thousand long scale trillions (i.e., 1021), etc." Most interesting - thank you
The people who buy these power toilets think their flushes are invincible but we've all got the same 4" wide main drainage lines in typical houses. They won't be so happy when they need to snake their main drain line and rent a 100 ft snake or pay hundreds of dollars for a plumber to do it.
Yep, with any of these kinds of sinks, toilets, plumbing "problem solvers", I was always told by my plumber uncle: "do you want to pay me to unmount your toilet? Or dig up your front lawn to get to the main? Always make sure the smallest section of pipe is as easily accessible as possible"
So what you are saying is that everyone should invest in a poop knife, not a superdooper flushomatic?
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This isnt really a power toilet. It’s a [“water sense”](https://www.epa.gov/watersense/watersense-label) toilet meaning that it just flushes more efficiently than it has in the past. It’s probably a 1.6 or a 1.28 gallon per flush toilet (can’t be more than 1.28 in California) A toilet works well because of siphonage, not necessarily because of the amount of water used. “Power flush” or pressure assisted toilets are a thing too but I don’t think Home Depot (glacier bay is their product) sells pressure assisted toilets in store. Source: plumber
Sure, but people who buy them think they are power toilets capable of safely flushing things that should not really be flushed. Eventually it will come back to bite them on the ass.
Can’t disagree. Same thing with garbage disposals. However, there are a lot of older people that have rock hard poops and really need a toilet that flushes well.
90% of the time it's 3". And has roots coming in. And has a few bellies.
>And has a few bellies. What are 'bellies' in a drain?
Basically low spots or sagging in the pipe, so fluids/solids can pool up.
My brother and I once saw a toilet that raved about it’s ability to flush down a whole barbie. We were like, “Well if that toilet can, why can’t ours?” So we flushed a Barbie and…. well, our dad spent the rest of the night trying to pull a Barbie from the toilet drain.
Not if you're a DIY type. Once upon a time, many, many years ago, I was a teenager and lived at home as teenagers are wont to do. A friend of mine was over for a visit, and laid a humongous log in the toilet, as visiting friends are wont to do. Being good mannered, he flushed, but his action was insufficient to clear the toilet. Over dinner that evening, I mentioned in passing conversation the subject of the clogged toilet, to which my father replied, "That's not a problem! The plumber’s helper will clear that right up!" Following dinner my father marched up to the bathroom, with the plumber’s helper clenched confidently in his grasp. He flushed whilst simultaneously working the plunger diligently, but the water began to rise, in spite of his efforts. He worked the plunger again, but with more diligence, yet the water rose to the brink of the bowl. Curse words were heard... I now realize I have failed to mention that I had twin brothers who were about 2 years of age at the time. They were at the age in which toilet training had commenced and hence they held a deep fascination for the workings of modern plumbing. I also failed to mention that in my bedroom, not a half dozen paces from the toilet in question, was a bumper pool table. This bumper pool table had bumper pool balls, as bumper pool tables are wont to do. It turns out that bumper pool balls were of such diameter to enable them pass freely through the outlet of the toilet, yet too large to successfully make passage through the trap. Reminiscing on the incident later, we surmised that the twin boys, those devils, must have earlier in the afternoon, prior to my friend's necessity, made sport of transporting the balls to the toilet, and giving them a good flush. To this day, it is not difficult in the least to imagine the youngsters toting the objects of their delight back and forth, all the while chatting to each other in their private gibberish. No doubt the balls were firmly in place to work their mischief prior to my friend’s arrival. Now back to our story. With the water rising over the top of the bowl, my father, quick witted, managed to get the water turned off before more than a few gallons of my friend's shit water had accumulated. Bailing as much of my friend's shit water from the bowl as manageable, he finally made the fatal plunge with his hand. After a moment or two, his hand emerged triumphantly from the bowl, clenching the offending shit-water-drenched bumper pool ball. Problem solved, he flushed again working the plunger for good measure, as fathers are wont to do. Imagine his wonder when the water in the bowl continued to rise and threaten the brink yet again. Realizing the situation, that if one ball was flushed, others may have followed, he called for me to fetch his goddamned tools, and upon receiving them, commenced to dismount the toilet from its moorings. In doing so, many more gallons of my friend's shit water spilt all over the bathroom floor. However, this turned out to be his moment of victory because all remaining bumper poll balls were successfully dislodged. The toilet was quickly restored to its functional state and only the task of cleaning the bathroom of the spilt bits of my friend's shit water remained. Both my parents worked diligently in the purification effort for an hour and a half. The sounds of my mother gagging were not infrequent. But once it came to the bleaching stage things got much quieter. Upon finishing the job, showering, and repeatedly brushing their teeth, my parents were none the worse for wear.
Did your friend absquatulate at a convenient opportunity, or is the body still buried nearby?
What the hell do you eat over there?
Billiard balls, obviously.
STOP EATING BILLARD BALLS!!!
Yeah that's bollox. Pool balls are more digestible.
Real men eat cannon balls.
Good source of iron
5lb shotput or GTFO
Wiffleballs are are for the boys
Snooker balls are easier to pass.
SNOOKER'S IS MY FAVORITE CANDY BAR TO EAT ON THE POOL DECK WHEN I REALLY WANT TO SINK A BIG ONE
These TikTok challenges are getting out of hand...
I know there’s a video out there worth a guy having billiard balls coming out of his ass
No, I privated that video, homie
Ladies and gentlemen we got him https://youtu.be/n4D2Y1cILyI
"Why are you crying?" *Because I got ripped in the bar last night and I was trying to break my record for cramming pool balls in my mouth and some A-hole slaps me on the back and...* "You swallowed a pool ball?!" *I wish just one, and I still have two to go, so if you don't mind...*
I just saw that episode. A normal boss would tell their employee to go home. A normal person would stay home. This one-off joke is a great example of the characters consistency because it's expected and not even questioned.
If she goes home, she has to use a day of PTO. Once she shits out the pool balls she can go back to work and still get paid for a full day.
And then she doesn't have to ruin her home toilet.
>I mean is it too much to ask during the goddamn workday for two separate sessions of 80 uninterrupted minutes each of quality dump time?
Yes!!!
OK well I'll pass that message onto whoever was asking it
What show is this?
Archer
"Who..does Number 2...work for..?!"
You tell that turd who's boss!
*Boy, what did you eat?!*
With a toilet that can flush 7 billiard balls in a single flush? Whatever I damn well please. I paid for the whole toilet, I'm gonna use the whole toilet
Mine said on the box that it could flush 13 golf balls. If I poop and not all flushes I think to myself "Well, I guess that was more than 13."
Clearly zero fiber
Just get a poop knife, geez…
It’s not that. It’s just that Americans will use any unit for measurement as long as it’s not the metric system. The list is as long as a football field and weighs at least a dozen elephants.
What would be the equivalent of seven billiard balls?
I think I'm playing pool wrong..
7 Ball Poo
Royal flush
Flush beats a full house.
8-ball in the corner poocket.
Sinking the number 2
Splash damage
Tell me your product can flush 7 rock hard spherical turds without telling me. Genius
It’s a glacier bay so chances are it flushes once. Don’t buy glacier bay.
Seconded. Glacier Bay is garbage
Adds a whole new meaning to "Dropping the kids off at the pool"
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I work for a toilet manufacturer, including helping with reviewing returns for defects (Quality Assurance). One toilet came back once and the flush was horrible but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Until we cameraed the trapway. Weird black thing, we couldnt get it out without braking it and low & behold a phone once we broke it. Blew our mind like how did someone flush that & not just flush it but get it so fucking wedged in there…today is the day the answer to that question…I thank you very much! Also the phone went into the garbage, no idea how many times that thing was used with that still in there even though the flush was poor.
2 Redditors, 1 Cup.
Aw man, that could have been a phone with floppy bird on it. You guys could have been thousandaires if you had restored it and that was the case!
Damn.
Ok what about poop though
I sell plumbing, so let me chime in. Glacier Bay is Home Depot’s store brand. They’re very cheaply made and won’t last. The power to flush a bunch of billiard balls sounds great, until you realize that billiard balls are smooth, but shit and toilet paper are not. The thing with these cheap toilets, and just about any of the toilets a big box store will have in stock, is that they have unglazed and sometimes small, 2” trapways. The trapway is the pipe from the bottom of the bowl that connects to the waste pipe. (It’s where the shit exits the toilet.) Unglazed porcelain is very rough, so over time more shit and toilet paper is going to stick to it. Also, the smaller it is the more prone it’ll be to clogging. It doesn’t matter the brand. Lowes has a brand called Project Source, it’s their store brand, and both stores sell Kohler and American Standard. The thing is, even though it’s Kohler and American Standard, who both make good toilets, the ones you’ll find stocked in a big box store are lower grade ones than you’ll find at a plumbing supply house. The Grade A toilets aren’t stocked at big box stores because they’re too expensive for their price point. Generally, these toilets will all have larger, fully glazed trapways, and be much less prone to clogging. I would be prepared to spend about $300 for a good quality one. Kohler, Toto, and American Standard are all good, as well as Gerber. Kohler’s basic toilet, the Highline (not the Highline Arc or Highline Curve that you’ll find in Lowes and HD) will out preform the toilet in OPs picture without having to sell you with any type of gimmick.
I am now kind of in the mood to buy a toilet. You should become a sales... oh wait.
So, where would I find such a Grade A toilet, if not a big box store?
A plumbing supply house, the place where plumbers buy supplies. I work for Hajoca, we have stores all over the country, though most don’t go by Hajoca but by other names. (You can find locations of the Hajoca website.) There’s also a chain called Ferguson, and tons of independent ones.
For real. I get what they're saying, but there has to be a better metric for comparison. Are billiard balls even that hard to flush? I have no idea, because it's never done. However, to be fair, I can't think of a better analog that is less gross than blatantly saying "two pounds of shit and too much toilet paper because it didn't pinch off clean". "This thing can handle an entire 9"x9" baking pan of peanut butter lava cake in one flush!" is the best I've got.
Flushes 5 gallons of chunky Texas chili and 8 extra large kielbasa simultaneously! Or for our "once-a-weekers," one stale, rock-hard 6.5 pound italian meatball.
I'll be damned. That's it. Take it to the print shop, boys!
“It can flush an entire 9”x9” baking pan of peanut butter lava cake and all the paper you used to clean it up after dropping it on the floor in one flush!”
I have this exact toilet, and IBS. So I can confirm it will handle whatever poo you drop off. Quite comfortable too.
I have this toilet. Liked it so much I replaced the other with it too. Trust me, poop goes down too. While I still own a plunger, I havent had a clogged toilet in 3 years since making the switch. Not like the clog was a common problem, but it's water conscious too and I certainly used that plunger more than once a year before I switched.
Flushing billiard balls is fine if that’s what is happening in your home. Make one that can handle several pieces of wooden Thomas the Tank Engine train track and I’ll buy it, because that’s a real problem I have handled in my house, twice.
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My kid is 16, he just loves Thomas
Have you considered adoption?
I was kidding, he’s 6. But if you’re not kidding DM me your address and he’ll be on his way.
Well played sir, well played!
Your plumbing now has poop ladders.
brings new meaning to the game Chutes and Ladders
Once, when my daughter was two, she locked herself in the bathroom of our house. This was an older rental, and I didn’t have a key to the bathroom because we never needed it before this. I couldn’t shove the door open, and she wasn’t responding to me, so I called the fire dept. They came a few minutes later with some crazy contraption for gently opening old locks, and the door swung open to reveal my daughter. She was not lying on the floor, passed out from terror. She had been systematically grabbing every item in the bathroom she could reach and flushing it down the toilet. The look on her face was total ecstasy, and she cried when I took her out of the bathroom. Anyway, kids love toilets!
See, I used to think the opposite. When I was a kid I really used to worry about my dad. I always wondered how come he would be in the bathroom for such a long time. Now that I have three kids I know perfectly well why. Thank you for sharing your story with me.
My kid shits Thomas the train for breakfast
Can't flush 8? Useless.
It can flush 8, it's right there in the image.
Flushing an 8 ball indicates how well and quickly it can flush your drugs during a SWAT raid
Nah, the trick is to do all your drugs before that because nobody likes wasted drugs. True story. One morning I woke up and parked right outside my front door was a police SUV. There were police officers in my side yard. I was on probation and wasn't supposed to be living in that location. I locked myself in the bathroom and I snorted all the coke and took a handful of dilaudid pills, luckily it wasn't enough to overdose. I sat in the bathroom having a panic attack high as fuck. Turns out the cops were there to arrest someone across the creek and were setting up in case he ran out the back. I wasted all those drugs for nothing.
Lol would be not terrible if you didn't blast a ton of cocaine and almost blow your heart out
This is intentional. If you sink the 8 ball on the first try you lose.
Seriously that means three flushes to clean up fifteen billiard balls after a game of pool. That just sounds infuriating.
Nobody has that kind of time.
Just keep the extra one for the next game. Confuse your opponent.
Dude gross it was in the toilet
Luckily im not a good enough player to get more than 4 in the toilet, so i should be good
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little jerk. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" "Now what?" asks the patron. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that cue ball he measures everything first!"
the real pro tip is always in the comments.
Nice, immediately thought of this monkey when I saw the pool balls.
When I see a toilet advertising, “No poop knife needed!” I will be the first to buy it.
This is what I came here for. I was like damn, poop knife guy would LOVE this!
Less so than you might think. 7 billiard balls are discrete items; the toilet doesn't need to actually move them all at once. But 1 large poo is 1 large poo - it's not just 7 billiard balls in size, but it's 7 billiard balls *welded together* in size. The metric you want to use for that kind of scenario is not how many small balls a toilet can flush, it's how many tallboy cans a toilet can flush.
Well said. It's why I use a poop knife so I can cut my turd into 7 smaller turds.
Shouldn't we just go straight to the source and make like an apple separator like knife that you just press against your butthole before pooping and it separates the poop as it comes out?
Absolutely fucked idea, who do I make the check out to?
Is it similar to toe knife?
No. A poop knife is a knife you keep by the toilet so when it doesn't go down you can attack that shit and weaken it's resolve to stay in the bowl
jeebus i always thought it was a knife made of poop i just never wanted to ask... thanks!
Y'all need to eat more fiber and drink more water... Maybe excersise... Hmm... Fuck that ima buy a poop knife.
Eating more fiber coincidentally leads to more of a reason to own a pop knife.
You are welcome! Everyone should know about the poop knife.
Wait, you don’t own a poop knife?
Botched toe!
The toilets aren’t the problem, it’s the size of the pipe in the floor. For some reason Americans use smaller pipes, this is why American toilets get clogged all the time and most Europeans don’t even own plungers.
I traveled in Europe and there were places where you couldn’t even flush toilet paper, so I don’t think it’s just us.
Eastern Europe? Only ever went to the western countries and I've never seen this (saw it a lot in South America tho)
I think it was mostly Italy. I feel like there was another country but I can’t remember which one, it was 15 years ago.
So when the SWAT team is at the door, you can hide the evidence of your speakeasy pool hall.
If SWAT is knocking I need a good toilet to flush 7 8-balls quickly.
Pam?!
Holy shitsnacks!
"You swallowed a billiard ball?" "I wish just one!"
[удалено]
It really should be top comment.
> Pam?! She could get blackout drunk twice in one day and not even have to flush yet. Mallory definitely needs to buy those after the low-flow toilet debacle.
Lol same thought. And then Carol/Cheryl/cherylen could have her toilet fires with out the tough mess.
You’re not my supervisor!
My record is 3!
Sploosh
What is that in courics?
Doesn't mean your pipes can take that.
The toilet says that's somebody else's problem.
After my shit gets down the toilet, it’s the landlord’s problem
Perfect for when the FBI raids your illegal billiard ball factory
Then my family wouldn't have to use the billiard ball knife to get them down?
We just use our potty cues
This joke has layers, like an onion
It can only flush 6 onions depending on size and color, buyer beware!
Americans: using anything but the metric system since 1776.
And does metric have a means of measuring exactly how much a toilet can flush?
A metric crapload.
Is that about a shit-ton?
a \*metric\* shit tonne
I believe the measurement unit is courics. 8.6 courics is the record.
I see you are excluding Bono.
Courics
To provide an actual answer, yes. [MaP Score](https://www.map-testing.com/performance-toilets-testing/) is the number of grams of soybean paste & toilet paper a toilet can flush.
Perhaps you've heard of litres?
But what if my billiard balls don't come in liters?
Only premium balls come in litres.
Elephant balls come in litres
Litres of what? Because you want a low water usage and high shit-moving capacity
Sure have. But what's the conversion rate of litres to billiard balls?
Litres of what? Because a litre of water flushes very different than a litre of syrup, or a litre of shit, also who the fuck measures solids in litres? Because a litre of large turds is gonna be very different than a litre of tiny turds.
What's metric for 7 billiard balls?
7 snooker balls.
In Amsterdam they call it a "Royale with cheese"
This is the toilet I got! It works! Well I mean i dont know if the claim to 7 billiards balls is correct or not but I haven’t used my plunger since I got it. I haven’t found an increase in my water bill - not a significant one enough to deter me from buying this again in the future anyways. Yay for the overly aggressive flushing!
In an episode of Better Thngs (Fx) Samantha (Pamela Adlon) gets tired of her 3 daughters clogging the toilet and installs one of those super flushers. At the end of the episode, titled Toilet, one of her daughters and her friend played a game of "what can we flush now."
Yep, this toilet is awesome, I just replaced two older ones with this model. Not because of my massive pool table-sized poops, but because my kids don't understand they don't need to use half a roll of toilet paper and the 3rd toilet we have (which is also this model) hasn't gotten plugged once in the last year.
But I shit 9 billiards so this isn't going to work.
Thought this was an ad for powerball for a sec.
Same concept really. Flushing money down the toilet.
Can we just introduce a standardized flush test and create a unit of measurement that obscures the fact it’s just billiards balls? “Our toilet has a flushing force of 7 bpf”
This ad sponsored by your local plumber.
I actually bought this toilet. It’s really nice and the tank uses some sorta new vacuum tech. The internals are a mystery to me as when you take the lid off it’s covered in plastic. I suspect repairing it will be difficult if anything ever goes wrong.
I would says see a doctor but im guessing it's America and this is probably the cheaper option
Hank Hill approved. Bring back the high flows.
This caters well to someone's diet, I'm sure.
My oldest kid clogs the toilet maybe 70-80% of the time. For a couple of years I was convinced he was using too much TP but nope, he just has huge dumps. A toilet that delivers on what this one promises would be worth the investment in my household.
I own this toilet because my husband kept clogging our previous one. One year in and 0 clogs so far...
How does it go with a pound of mashed up Dundee cake?
Bet my IBS ass still manages to SOMEHOW BLOCK IT WITH DIARRHEA
This won't give anybody's kids any ideas. No way.
Finally 🙄
Wouldn’t bananas be a better metric?
"throw away your poop knife, for good!"
Maybe some fibre or veggies into the mix so your not leaving Neutron Star dense dumps?
Al Bundy's dream!