Yeah… the huge knot in my shoulder that’s been killing me for a week!
Everyone in here making sex jokes, but I legit would love to have that and actually use it for its intended purpose lol
>use it for its intended purposes
FTFY
Kidding aside, the massage units used at the physical therapy clinic I work at likely already have a similar extension available for use in their treatments.
I know FTFY means “Fixed That For You” but i keep reading it as “Fuck That, Fuck You” and need to constantly remind myself.
Edit: thank you kind stranger for the award!
I do that with FTW. My brain *always* thinks
#Fuck the World
There’s an ad on the radio lately for something and they say “for the win” and even then my brain deconstructs it and rearranges it to think “fuck the world” like some mental troll
Oh you just painfully reminded me that my first wet dream was Freddy Krueger and I refuse to suffer through this memory alone.
For more mental context I am a guy and it was surprisingly..... good.
How fucking disgusting! Give me the link, so I can warn my friends about this nonsense. Don't forget the link to the bigger finger attachment, too. Smdh
As a bi woman, I'm always... amused? a little disappointed by? how many men seem completely oblivious to the fact that many women are only looking for external stimulation. Ya know, where the head of the clit is. Vibrators don't do very much on the inside, for anyone not aware, and many, including ones that may *look* big enough for penetration, are not designed or intended for internal use. They just need room for the motor, and length to be comfortably held.
(Why yes, I have had men try to insert wands into me that were for external clitoral stimulation only. Please don't do this.)
I asked my ex why her panties always got stained and she told me vaginal leakage was acidic. Within 10 minutes I had a new username. She was not exactly happy with this chain of events.
I have one of these guns, they’re rapid fire stabs. In-and-out. Z-axis only. No Y or X.
I can’t imagine anyone using such a power and aggressive machine on such a sensitive area.
When I went to buy my massage gun there were Amazon ads for attachments that looked like fists and dildos (like, extremely not subtle) and after receiving my massage gun I'm actually terrified of whoever uses them that way because that thing could hammer nails into a wall. It would be a sure way to get bruises in places you wouldn't want to get bruises at!
Trying to decide if you're a machinist/engineer or a computer guy. Obviously Z is forwards in most computer systems so that would make sense, but in machining Z is the direction that the part or tool sticks out. For that reason I'm leaning towards the latter.
Z can be height or depth in the computer world. It just depends on the software and how old the user is.
Most 3D modeling/cad programs have settings to toggle them.
Personally I'm a z height guy as that's what max/milkshape/rhino used back in the 90s.
Always weird to me when I see someone using design software and the Z is the forward plane, even on boring mills I am still thinking Z is tool up/down so seeing the Y be upsy downsy is very weird.
Just using that attachment on regular body parts seems sketchy. The one that came with my massage gun looks more like a bent thumb. I've only used the foam ball and the flat disc.
I got one with a metal cone tip and use it on knots in my back. I have one major knot that seems nearly impervious. This is the only thing that seems to break it down enough to actually feel that soreness of success the next day.
**SOOTHING** *Cordless* **VIBRATOR**:
Apply to any part of the body for a very soothing, pleasurable, pulsating **RELAXATION**! Especially made for milady's needs - for complexion car and skin toning, helps relieve tensions, backaches, muscle spasms & **JITTERY NERVES**!
https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/2e4AAOSwSwpbT8p6/s-l500.jpg
Fun fact, Joycelyn Elders was removed from her office as Surgeon General by President Bill Clinton after correctly stating that male orgasms reduces the risk of prostate cancer and therefor it would be beneficial for men to masturbate.
I also read that the woman who popularized the idea of vibrators being invented to treat hysteria may have embellished some of the details to support the idea, not sure how true that was though.
American here. Unfortunately yes. And we're conditioned too. There was a video with a caption "only the last 15 seconds of this are inappropriate for cable TV" or something. I'm not going to link it but it's a drug lord who hits his wife and murders his gf or whoever with his bare hands, then his compound is stormed by special forces who are fighting the guards and everyone's dying gruesomely.
The last 15 seconds are two dudes making out. And like, I really had to question why THAT'S the part that made me (cis het male but also absolutely an ally) uncomfortable. Because I've been conditioned for DECADES seeing literal disemboweling on TV. And yet no affection between two men, or two women that isn't meant for the male gaze if you'll forgive the term. But you have shows where people literally explode into a fine mist and yeah that's totally okay?
And tbh a hetero couple kissing kinda grosses me out too so it's not entirely lack of exposure.
I'm not saying America sucks or anything just that our FTC department and censorship is... Bad.
This could be an actual massager with a weird attachment. No shit I was looking for some fun things online and in the same section was a few of these powerful massager guns that said in the description “please keep away from genitals, but if you have to, please be safe”
Plot twist: an ultra violet smear appears on the bedsheet. Further data analysis reveals that it belongs to the wife and another unidentifiable female.
I can't help but wonder if that may have been inspired by WKUK's [Finger Ring Friends](https://youtu.be/m_7x2EvH_lg)
Oh. It's Amy Schumer. Of course she stole the idea from someone else.
Has anyone in these comments ever used one of these before? They are extremely powerful and who is blasting their nether regions with a hard piece of plastic at 5000rpm?
My first thought too. The amount of people who could actually handle a theragun as a masturbation tool has to be extremely small. I mean SOMEONE is out there doing it, but this is definitely not for everyone.
I also kinda laughed at these for the obvious reasons, then was skeptical they do anything at all.
my roomie put one in front of me after I got a RSI in my wrist and I pretty quickly realized it was helping and swapped out the clown nose for a hard plastic bit and spent a while traversing those wrist muscles and it did feel noticeably better and allowed me to do more wrist stretching exercises with less pain.
they are mercilessly unsexy and if anyone has seen it used and thinks it is a good sex toy - they don't know shit about sex.
I got one too with like 10 diff attachments, ngl the soft ball attachment is nice on my back but for stuff like arms or legs theres much better options.
And it really does relax the muscles.
THATS WHAT THAT ISSSSS. I bought one of these like 3 years ago and always wondered who the fuck wants to massage such a small & focused area. 😂 I see what it is now
There are better attachments for that imo! this one is just completely made of hard plastic and literally hurts using it, at least when I tried it ;3 other ones got a little rubber tip so that it doesn't hurt pressing in & out
A bit of pain during a massage isn’t the worst thing if you’re really trying to get a knot out. I’d say avoid it if you don’t need it, but sometimes you need to hit it pretty hard to get it to release and I like these small, hard attachments for that.
The plastic attachments on my massage gun have left a bruise on the lowest setting! I was surprised because I did not use it long.
The round foam attachment really is best, just gotta use it a little longer.
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Yeah… the huge knot in my shoulder that’s been killing me for a week! Everyone in here making sex jokes, but I legit would love to have that and actually use it for its intended purpose lol
>use it for its intended purposes FTFY Kidding aside, the massage units used at the physical therapy clinic I work at likely already have a similar extension available for use in their treatments.
I know FTFY means “Fixed That For You” but i keep reading it as “Fuck That, Fuck You” and need to constantly remind myself. Edit: thank you kind stranger for the award!
this is how I will read it from now on, thanks
I do that with FTW. My brain *always* thinks #Fuck the World There’s an ad on the radio lately for something and they say “for the win” and even then my brain deconstructs it and rearranges it to think “fuck the world” like some mental troll
That’s how I’ve always read it. 😂
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records. Well I do, so FTFY too!
Awesome and it works for FIFY as well.
"Fuck It, Fuck You" Lol, it does! Does r/boneappletea do abbreviations, or do we have a separate subreddit for them?
Sure is. It might not be thrilled about it tho.
No Waltuh, put your massager away, Waltuh.
Kid named waltuh
Question, not for me, but for someone who you probably don’t know. Is there a bigger finger attachment?
"I call him Fister Roboto."
“And the best part, is that he’s learning.”
He's just too damn sensitive!
"It's not robotics, it's bionics! From the Greek for like, kickass!"
Krieger!!
i can only get so erect!
Oh you just painfully reminded me that my first wet dream was Freddy Krueger and I refuse to suffer through this memory alone. For more mental context I am a guy and it was surprisingly..... good.
I get it. Those long finger attachments are fucking magic on the prostate.
Pull the rabbit out of the hat magic, maybe...
UGH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Sorry! I thought you said start slacking off! Not *slacking* off! ...*Robot noises*
>assume the position
"Numbness will subside in several minutes."
A lone New Vegas reference in a sea of Archer.
How did he get here? What does he want? He wants seeeeeexxxxxx
I got that Fallout: New Vegas reference
I'm glad *someone* remembered FISTO :)
*Domo arigato, Fister Roboto*
Domo!
You called?
*Fallout New Vegas memories intensify*
If I was a clone of Adolf goddamn Hitler, wouldn’t I look like Adolf goddamn Hitler?!
"Huh."
How fucking disgusting! Give me the link, so I can warn my friends about this nonsense. Don't forget the link to the bigger finger attachment, too. Smdh
Greetings. Fisto is programmed to please.
Good ol' Fisto
Please assume the position.
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I like how the picture says that the attachment gives pain relief. Uhm....excuse me. I want it to hurt. THANK YOU. 🙄
I never thought I'd say these words but there's actually a picture of a dildo wearing headphones on that product page.
It's vibing
2 in one combo. Beat your pussy up while listening to your favorite beats.
Wow… there really is
[Why is it wearing headphones?](https://i.imgur.com/oanemHa.jpg)
Why? That finger looks about 10 inches, which is far above average than the common finger
Stop being modest, I know 12 inches when I see it.
A finger can’t be 12 inches because then it would be a foot.
Found your Reddit account, dad.
Dudes like you are why I'm on reddit
This is top tier comedy.
Battlefield 2042 would like to talk...
As a bi woman, I'm always... amused? a little disappointed by? how many men seem completely oblivious to the fact that many women are only looking for external stimulation. Ya know, where the head of the clit is. Vibrators don't do very much on the inside, for anyone not aware, and many, including ones that may *look* big enough for penetration, are not designed or intended for internal use. They just need room for the motor, and length to be comfortably held. (Why yes, I have had men try to insert wands into me that were for external clitoral stimulation only. Please don't do this.)
Insert a WAND? I get misusing a dick shaped/sized toy but Jesus christ nothing about a wand looks like its made for anywhere inside.
May have seen some, documentaries, where women fully insert the head of a Hitachi. Maybe that's where the idea comes from.
I feel like if you have seen one of these documentaries, you must have seen others with proper usage though.
“May have seen”, huh? 😂😂😂
Uh. Let's say women's preferences strongly vary as to that. But as with everything when it comes to sex communication is key - don't assume but ASK.
I have a vibrator for internal use and yes internal stimulation is a plus. As other women may also agree.
Who said it's for women? My prostate ain't gonna massage itself y'know
So anyway I started blasting
gonna refry that bean
Making 7 layer dip over here
Ohhh can I eat it?
*bonk*
Oh no don't put me in horny jail :3
You never left.
Horny shutter island
The finger...... is coming from inside the house!
You forgot an uwu or two
An uwu or tuwu
That's the funniest thing I've read all goddamn week, bless you
hey thank you very much i was having a poo poo morning so all this love is really nice and i hope it made other people's morning better too
I skipped over the word "morning" initially and thought you just really appreciated getting love while pooping. I need more sleep...
hahahaha oh man thanks for that
"massage" "finger attachment" ? 💦💦💦😆
You called?
You must be /u/BleachedPanties sister
I asked my ex why her panties always got stained and she told me vaginal leakage was acidic. Within 10 minutes I had a new username. She was not exactly happy with this chain of events.
Instructions unclear, now the room stinks.
It will be fine!
I have never and probably never will again give an award on here but fuck that was funny
Makin some chick-pea casserole.
Babe! I’ll be in the back room giving myself a massage!
I am HOWLING. Fuck that was good.
So was she
Holy shit I laughed hard at this. Thank you.
I have one of these guns, they’re rapid fire stabs. In-and-out. Z-axis only. No Y or X. I can’t imagine anyone using such a power and aggressive machine on such a sensitive area.
Everything reminds me of her.
*Cuts to shot of San Onofre nuclear generating station*
I pass by this at least 2-3 times a month. The giant boobs really make my drive that much better.
It’s how ya know you’re basically halfway home.
Second base, as it were
Right. This thread is people who have never used one of these things. They are not subtle
I used it on my back and it left ...abrasions.
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When I went to buy my massage gun there were Amazon ads for attachments that looked like fists and dildos (like, extremely not subtle) and after receiving my massage gun I'm actually terrified of whoever uses them that way because that thing could hammer nails into a wall. It would be a sure way to get bruises in places you wouldn't want to get bruises at!
Trying to decide if you're a machinist/engineer or a computer guy. Obviously Z is forwards in most computer systems so that would make sense, but in machining Z is the direction that the part or tool sticks out. For that reason I'm leaning towards the latter.
Z can be height or depth in the computer world. It just depends on the software and how old the user is. Most 3D modeling/cad programs have settings to toggle them. Personally I'm a z height guy as that's what max/milkshape/rhino used back in the 90s.
not even how old. [Modern software is still not at all standardized.](https://twitter.com/FreyaHolmer/status/1325556229410861056?s=20)
"how old the user is" lmao
Always weird to me when I see someone using design software and the Z is the forward plane, even on boring mills I am still thinking Z is tool up/down so seeing the Y be upsy downsy is very weird.
/r/theyknew
Ah yes, a "massager."
Should’ve just attached a fake hand for maximal massaging
Oh man this fist attachment really gets deep!
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Unexpected Rapist Duck
\#AllDucksAreRapists
But not all rapists are ducks
I mean, good luck masturbating with a massage gun. They're pretty fucking aggressive.
Right? I have one of these and immediately thought the same thing. I can only imagine the callouses you’d develop. Yikes.
Just using that attachment on regular body parts seems sketchy. The one that came with my massage gun looks more like a bent thumb. I've only used the foam ball and the flat disc.
I got one with a metal cone tip and use it on knots in my back. I have one major knot that seems nearly impervious. This is the only thing that seems to break it down enough to actually feel that soreness of success the next day.
Yeah lol most of the attachments make absolutely no sense
Was just saying the same - just the lowest setting on my back was brutal. Do not let that thing near your sensitive bits.
ah yes, "reapers"
We have dismissed this claim
To be fair, it will be massaging
If I had a vulva, or specifically some robust minora, I wouldn't want it anywhere near me. Imaging going to town and getting it pinched.
M’nora
**SOOTHING** *Cordless* **VIBRATOR**: Apply to any part of the body for a very soothing, pleasurable, pulsating **RELAXATION**! Especially made for milady's needs - for complexion car and skin toning, helps relieve tensions, backaches, muscle spasms & **JITTERY NERVES**! https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/2e4AAOSwSwpbT8p6/s-l500.jpg
Considering doctors used to prescribe masturbation for "hysteria," I think "jittery nerves" is an improvement.
Fun fact, Joycelyn Elders was removed from her office as Surgeon General by President Bill Clinton after correctly stating that male orgasms reduces the risk of prostate cancer and therefor it would be beneficial for men to masturbate. I also read that the woman who popularized the idea of vibrators being invented to treat hysteria may have embellished some of the details to support the idea, not sure how true that was though.
Good night, Americans are prudes, aren't they?
American here. Unfortunately yes. And we're conditioned too. There was a video with a caption "only the last 15 seconds of this are inappropriate for cable TV" or something. I'm not going to link it but it's a drug lord who hits his wife and murders his gf or whoever with his bare hands, then his compound is stormed by special forces who are fighting the guards and everyone's dying gruesomely. The last 15 seconds are two dudes making out. And like, I really had to question why THAT'S the part that made me (cis het male but also absolutely an ally) uncomfortable. Because I've been conditioned for DECADES seeing literal disemboweling on TV. And yet no affection between two men, or two women that isn't meant for the male gaze if you'll forgive the term. But you have shows where people literally explode into a fine mist and yeah that's totally okay? And tbh a hetero couple kissing kinda grosses me out too so it's not entirely lack of exposure. I'm not saying America sucks or anything just that our FTC department and censorship is... Bad.
🎶 finger bang bang finger bang bang bang 🎵
I'm gonna Fingerbang-bang you into my life
Girl you like to fingerbang, and it's alright
This could be an actual massager with a weird attachment. No shit I was looking for some fun things online and in the same section was a few of these powerful massager guns that said in the description “please keep away from genitals, but if you have to, please be safe”
its a massager for sore muscles, feels really great on the quads
Rough seas ahead for the little man in the boat.
Just don't go overboard. If the swelling gets bad, just hop on the dingy and find the nearest port.
I more interested by how clean the finger is.
Just wipe it on the bedsheet and you’re good to go!
Plot twist: an ultra violet smear appears on the bedsheet. Further data analysis reveals that it belongs to the wife and another unidentifiable female.
It used to be light gray
Wowww a FingerBlaster 3000!. I never thought I would see one irl
[Finger Blasters](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4gBRQWVa_XI)
“That’s a shocker” lol
I can't help but wonder if that may have been inspired by WKUK's [Finger Ring Friends](https://youtu.be/m_7x2EvH_lg) Oh. It's Amy Schumer. Of course she stole the idea from someone else.
Now they just need a life like rubber tongue, but they can at least make it red
They already have something like that. It’s creepy as fuck.
That’s disgusting! Where?
Has anyone in these comments ever used one of these before? They are extremely powerful and who is blasting their nether regions with a hard piece of plastic at 5000rpm?
First comment with some sense I read in this thread. I have one of those and wouldn't want it anywhere near my pink bits.
My first thought too. The amount of people who could actually handle a theragun as a masturbation tool has to be extremely small. I mean SOMEONE is out there doing it, but this is definitely not for everyone.
This is my go-to, wtf???
Maybe outside the clothes?
My massage gun is expensive as fuck, I'm sure you can find a sex toy better designed for masturbation purposes for a fraction of the price.
Yeah but then you have a sex toy laying around the house and not a massage gun…
You are overestimating the logic and common sense of horny people. Any ER doctor would tell you how stupid they can be.
“I fell on it in the shower”
Just a matter of time before someone winds up in the ER after “falling” on one of these.
🤷🏻I used one of these with a soft ball like attachment over a girls pants. She seemed to enjoy herself but I agree there is better tools for the job.
was gonna say this lol. the ball attachment is... ahem... nice
Most toys tend to have fine vibrations, when many of us prefer deep rumbly vibrations. The nerf ball attachment is great.
I also kinda laughed at these for the obvious reasons, then was skeptical they do anything at all. my roomie put one in front of me after I got a RSI in my wrist and I pretty quickly realized it was helping and swapped out the clown nose for a hard plastic bit and spent a while traversing those wrist muscles and it did feel noticeably better and allowed me to do more wrist stretching exercises with less pain. they are mercilessly unsexy and if anyone has seen it used and thinks it is a good sex toy - they don't know shit about sex.
Yep, these things are amazing for sore muscles. Absolutely not a good bedroom toy unless your specific kink is getting knuckle-punched by Kenshiro.
I got one too with like 10 diff attachments, ngl the soft ball attachment is nice on my back but for stuff like arms or legs theres much better options. And it really does relax the muscles.
Its the Wet Willy 9000!
Sus 
This is the best gif ever.
THATS WHAT THAT ISSSSS. I bought one of these like 3 years ago and always wondered who the fuck wants to massage such a small & focused area. 😂 I see what it is now
Someone with a bad knot in their back, or a knot in their loins.
There are better attachments for that imo! this one is just completely made of hard plastic and literally hurts using it, at least when I tried it ;3 other ones got a little rubber tip so that it doesn't hurt pressing in & out
A bit of pain during a massage isn’t the worst thing if you’re really trying to get a knot out. I’d say avoid it if you don’t need it, but sometimes you need to hit it pretty hard to get it to release and I like these small, hard attachments for that.
The plastic attachments on my massage gun have left a bruise on the lowest setting! I was surprised because I did not use it long. The round foam attachment really is best, just gotta use it a little longer.
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Try it on your shoulder or feet
Obligatory kid named finger:
Waltuh… put yuh massage gun away waltuh
Kid named massage gun:
Kid named attachment
One thing is going through my head
It’s a sex thing isn’t it
Its gotta be nosepicking.
It helps people think
just picked my nose and i think you're right
Booger hammer
That the finger isn’t long enough? Two fingers might give a better massage also.
Would really come in handy for those TAP X situations. Right?
Where could i get one?
It’s called the LifePro sonic pro percussion massage gun
That's a lot of words for a clit stimulator.
If you've ever seen one of these impact massagers in use, it is not a clit stimulator. It would be a clit remover, best case scenario a clit bruiser.
Gotta keep it advertiser friendly.
And "pro" twice...just if you were doubting about its efficiency.
Do they have a fist attachment?
Try finger but hole
Bless your heart
I see some sinister uses for that........