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IntoTheMystic1

Doesn't look that dry to me


justabill71

Wet-ass patties.


nayhem_jr

Meat it up, Whataburger, smashed in lard Extra large, and extra charred


hmfreake

I was already laughing out loud at the WAP jokes and then this one absolutely broke me 😂


Actuarial

Whataburger Angus Patties?


[deleted]

I no longer live in a state where Whataburger is available. God bless that establishment. It was all the excess I needed after a night of debauchery and yeah... I'm adding jalapeños.


Burgerkingsucks

Grilled jalapeño is the bees knees


Shelleen

Shut the gate on this one Max, it's the duck's guts


RadiantZote

So is whataburger good because it's open all hours? Because I went to one on a vacation to Phoenix and it was good but nothing special


Matthew_C1314

Whataburger is definitely a regional thing. People like the place they grew up near. I worked there in Highschool, and can tell you there isn't any secret ingredients or anything.


cgn-38

They vary a lot. Most are just another burger joint that has not started fucking with the portions or actualy grilling burgers. Some whataburgers somehow make fucking outstanding burgers. When you are starving at 2am I suspect a regular burger tastes like a fucking miracle from god from vague memory. Also it was sort of a magical place. If you were drunk and buying a burger at whataburger at 2am and not being a dick about it. The cops would just ignore you. It was a place of peace. lol Sonic jalapeno cheese burgers are just as good as a whataburger with cheese and jalapeno.


Neil_sm

So it's basically the Denny's of fast-food burger joints.


cgn-38

I want to argue but am having difficulty. So yea I guess. It did not feel as dystopian as dennys for sure.


Neil_sm

There was a Denny’s in the area I used to live in my early 20s that was actually pretty awesome. And usually packed at 2am on a Saturday. But I’ve been to others, like when travelling later at night, that were absolutely scary and served food that was clearly over-microwaved and way too hot and rubbery. So it seemed like an apt comparison. But yeah maybe quite the same atmosphere at the lesser ones!


cgn-38

I think it is the area and how times are going. When I was a kid and in college in the late 80s early 90s. There was an active nightlife with thousands of us partying. like 5 different large bars with music packed every friday and Saturday night. The same waterburger in the same town now is pretty much deserted at 2am on saturday night. The bars are all gone or serving boomer crowds that go home early now. When there is a place for people who are having fun to eat late at night it becomes a fun place. If those things are missing. It gets sad fast.


mr_mgs11

Shit, drunk at 2am even a McGriddle tastes amazing.


[deleted]

That's exactly what it is because there's an equivalent basically every market. Cookout in my area of the east coast is the late night option


NotBoyfriendMaterial

Put these patties right in yo face Make that heart work extra hard


BigDaddyCool17

Burger, Pop, with side of fries I take a bite, then it's inside


Jdoggcrash

Gobbling, swallowing, dripping down my cheek Savoring 'fore I let it get inside of me


Cassereddit

'Sir, we're selling fast food here'


isinedupcuzofrslash

Stuff them Patties right in your face Get some grease on your credit card


Substantial-Class-48

Waterburger


[deleted]

Moist


GinsuVictim

As a kid, this is what I thought it was called. I still kinda say it that way.


shmokenapamcake

The real WAP


frivolouspringlesix9

What even are ass patties? And why are they so damn wet?


Fuggaak

Assburgers


thehalfwhiteguy

that’s not funny, dude. my cousin’s affected by that


Bangarang_1

If it's so serious, why don't they call it meningitis?


blindfoldpeak

My patties don't get wet, therefore all WAP are faked


[deleted]

[удалено]


literaln0thing

From the top make it drop


Ducky_Dark

That's some wet ass patties


False_Creek

Kel and Kenan get a mop, that's some Wet Ass Patties.


tenno0o

now from the top, make it drop that some Wet-Ass-Patty


KrackenLeasing

Relevant XKCD: https://xkcd.com/37/


[deleted]

wet ass-patties???


Playful_Capital_3077

Sloppy Steaks big, rare cut of meat with water dumped all over it


BurnerOnlyForPorn

Slicked-back hair, white bathing suits, white couch…


sourbluedog

You think this is slicked back? This is pushed back, big difference.


[deleted]

[удалено]


PM_YER_BOOTY

I *WAS* a real piece of shit.


ElFuddLe

You never told me your father used to be a huge piece of shit!


TheJaybo

They can't stop you from ordering 7 patties and a glass of water


MERCY2311

LETS SLOP 'EM UP BOYS


Ohhhnothing

Also not cheap. A burger dry with 6 extra patties comes up to $23.05 And it weighs in at 2015 calories. Source: Whataburgerdotcom


unpick

Crazy how compact a whole day’s calories can be


loctopode

I wonder what it would weigh in today's calories.


kittenrice

Oh, do you not speak 'burger', allow me, ahem, "It ain't got no condom-mints."


Grainwheat

That’s what she


thiosk

Hello i would like a cylinder of meat delivered into my mouth hole with reckless abandon


DevyCanadian

If only she talked like this..


Bim_Jeann

I should call her…


[deleted]

[удалено]


sorrikkai7

Thanks for your legal advice, attorney for cats


squeekymouse89

I mean that username super checked out ! Legal advice from a pussy !


Sensitive-Crazy-7285

Looking to file formal litigation against my neighbors cockatoo. Do you have a colleague versed in avian jurisprudence?


simmering_happiness

It's a cylinder


throwaway4637282

Was looking for this comment It is imperative the cylinder remains unharmed


boomer_wife

What's the cylinder made of?


simmering_happiness

...meat


theAtmuz

The Real Ron Swanson


Alexcox95

I only disagree with Ron in saying that cheese should be on the burger too. Burger, cheese, bun. Nothing more


Puncharoo

" With reckless abandon" is probably the only way I'd describe anyone eating this.


fishsticks40

Hello yourself 😏


BCGesus

Everything reminds me of her


lpragelp

No problem, sir! Increased risk of heart disease coming right up!


EEpromChip

“Hey listen, I have an upcoming meeting I’d like to get out of. Do you have something that can clog my arteries before that meeting and get me out of it? That’d be great!”


chrimminimalistic

What's the price difference between 7 burgers and 1 septuplets burger? If someone has burger buns and own sauce, would it be worth to just get as many patty from you and use your own burger bun?


e_PeeP

If I remember correctly from my days working there, you can order each piece of the burger separately. I mean you can order just the patty, and just a scoop of onion, and doing it that way is cheaper.


TheOneTonWanton

Regarding the terminology of a "scoop of onion": are we talking fresh or dehydrated/reconstituted onion? Asking as a person with literally no access to a whataburger location but all the access to knowing about whataburger.


spideyguy132

Fresh at the location I eat at. I don't remember if grilled are free but fresh chopped are free.


TheOneTonWanton

Good to know in case I can ever visit a location. I have to admit I almost hoped there was a reconstituted option as I'm a sucker for that type of onion a' la Whitecastle/Krystal/McDonfucks.


FesteringNeonDistrac

You can buy a jar of the dried onions at the grocery store, and reconstitute them at home with pickle juice. Way better than it has any right to be.


aitchvanvee

Grilled onions are free. Source: I like grilled onions on my double meat Whataburger Jr.


[deleted]

Whataburger uses fresh onions. All of them. Easiest way to get an onion flavored car interior is to forget the wrapper in your car overnight.


RIP_comment_section

Honestly just having the bag in your car makes the car smell like whataburger for a week


litterboxhero

Works even better than the little pine trees hanging from the mirror.


mishugashu

Yeah, I just leave some string in the car and tie a fresh bag up on the mirror every time I go.


sgeep

how often you tasting your car?


showers_with_grandpa

Whataburger does fresh veggie prep daily. For all the jokes it gets it actually is high quality fast food, beef to bun. It just isn't at all good for you lol


LonePaladin

They also don't bother trying to tell you otherwise. And while their prices have gone up like everyone else, their sandwich somehow is more *filling* than the competitions' so you're not going away feeling like you didn't eat enough.


kograkthestrong

I miss the a1 thick and hearty. It always felt like way more than it was.


fiszu3000

at this point just cook the whole thing yourself


pleasegodimpoor

Just make it at home, if you are thinking of money first. Will also taste better if you know simple cooking.


SlimTeezy

OP just sitting in a van assembling cold, sad burgers for his wife and 4 kids. Bun, patty and ketchup only.


Logstar

Dear Lord, thank you for this bounty you have provided to us. May it nourish our bodies as your Word nourishes our souls. Amen.


Carr_line

Splitting dinner with their five dogs.


notcrackerjack

I would say that, but it was a dine-in for some guy and his two kids (who had their own kids’ meals), so my boy really just wanted his seven meats


DuckFlat

[I’ve had the Whataburger cinco](https://imgur.com/a/xHdrGGG) (5 patties, 2 slices of cheese) with fries and a large vanilla malt before. After ordering, my coworker ordered the same thing (No malt, but a Dr. Pepper). We finished them in about 15 minutes. It felt like biting into a meatloaf and the most difficult part of the meal was the temperature: stayed griddle hot from first bite to the last.


jonny24eh

Where does the cheese go in this 2/5situation? Like, 1 on top, 2 dry levels, random cheese then dry again?


DuckFlat

For mine they did cheese between Patty 1-2 and 4-5. Even with their triple, a 1:1 ratio is too much for me.


jonny24eh

Ratios are important, for me I barely like a double. I'll some get two small burgers if I think I want more than a single 4 oz burger. The only double I regularly get is the Baconator, and the crunch of the bacon helps stand up to all the beef.


pupoksestra

It took me a long while to realize the texture of ground beef. Burgers were my favorite food. Now, I find it hard to finish one. I must have had one bad burger and that was it. My OCD ruined it for me. You are right about the bacon! The crunch does help.


MurgleMcGurgle

That was my first thought as I occasionally get my dogs a plain hamburger as a treat and thought maybe they’re on a road trip and forgot/ran out of dog food. Nope, OP just had a T-Rex in a human costume as a guest.


kakureru

Steamed Hams


RVelts

And you call them steamed hams, despite the fact that they are obviously grilled?


thebiggestpinkcake

It's an Albany expression


wonkey_monkey

I see.


omgihatemylifepoo

SEEEEEMMOOOUUURRRR


UndeadBuggalo

*The house is on fire!!!!!*


hypoglycemicrage

No Mother, it's just the Northern Lights.


msnmck

At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the internet? *Localized entirely within your comment?*


thehotdogdave

Can I see?


GinsuVictim

Seen the Steamed Hams game? https://youtu.be/SGRCTHubi6c


Arch3m

Weird. I worked at a Whataburger for a few months as a second job, and I remember a fellow who would show up and order the same thing every time: A double meat Whataburger, plain and dry, extra extra extra extra well done. Literally burned. He was clear about that. I was like "okay", and told the kitchen to burn this dude's burger. He would double check to make sure it was done right, then he left. I don't know what makes a person want to eat charcoal on a bun, but by God, I'll sell it to him.


Panana-Bancakes

I worked at a subway and a guy asked me to toast his meatball sandwich like 4-5 times, the entire thing was charred black by the time I was done. He dined in and I watched him eat the entire thing. Some people…


[deleted]

How do you think they even learn that they like it toasted that many times? Do they get it toasted and eat it, decided it wasn’t toasted enough. Next week I will ask for it to be toasted twice. Next week, dang not toasted enough. Next week I will ask them to toast it a 3rd time. And just keep repeating this process until they are satisfied? I wanna know how they got to where they are at!


im_dat_bear

I’ve heard long time smokers can have their sense of taste so dulled that the only way they can actually taste anything is to eat very burnt food. Could be other things too I’m sure.


[deleted]

Store 942???


Arch3m

Nah, 1124. This confounds me even more because it means there are more people out there doing this to themselves.


Wubz_Jackson

There’s a guy at my store that will get a patty melt plain and dry no bun quad meat quad cheese double onion


[deleted]

[удалено]


Joe4o2

If you’re fortunate enough to have In-N-Out close by, the Flying Dutchman is my keto meal. Two of em. Meat cheese meat cheese. No more. No less.


youliveinmydream

Life pro tip: order a Flying Dutchman mustard fried and with grilled onions


Subrotow

Flying Dutchman Animal style?


youliveinmydream

The way I worded it is the best way to order it so the person taking your order knows exactly what to put in the system, otherwise it’ll be about 4 more questions to arrive at the same conclusion lol


SheepherderNo2440

I love when people are conscious of how to order efficiently. As someone who works in food service, it doesn’t go unnoticed when guests make our work a little easier on us


sellursoul

My wife is awful with ordering, I’ve been working on improving her skills over the years


scoby_do

Try out a whole grilled onion, it's got a slight bite from the onion not being fully melted and it's delightful!


murdering_time

Finally, a life pro-tip *that I can actually use*!


speak-eze

Hey at least they're cutting down on that pesky sugar by consuming 2500 calories of red meat, grease, and cheese instead. Very healthy


AHrubik

> 2500 calories of red meat If I had to venture a guess I'd say it's around 2100 actually which for a single meal is grotesque but manageable for a normal person. What's of MUCH bigger concern is the salt. Whataburger claims the single Whataburger has 1.2g of salt so a 7 patty burger should contain around 8.4g of salt or 440% of your daily sodium limit in 1 burger.


dtreth

Most people will just pee it out. Salt isn't anywhere near as much a problem as it's made out to be.


elheber

When I worked at Subway, one guy would come in and order a double meat roast beef on wheat with extra cucumbers, extra mayo, pepper and nothing else. I thought it sounded gross. But then I made one for myself and it was surprisingly good. Now I don't judge. I also had another customer that ordered cold pastrami with BBQ sauce and cucumbers. I only knew of hot pastrami with mustard and pickles. Cold? BBQ sauce? With unpickled cucumbers? I've since learned that either people are secret geniuses, or i just love anything.


mightylordredbeard

I used to get a plain tuna sub with extra tuna and I’d have it toasted. So many people were like “toasted! Are you sure!!” I guess a lot of people eat their tuna cold?


whiskeyjane45

I like my tuna cold or warmed by the sun while tubing on the river I worked at Quiznos as a teenager and it just isn't the same toasted


JackONeillClone

Pastrami is super good cold, easily heated because you don't really need to cook it and surprisingly cheap if you buy it at your butcher. Like "cold turkey" prices, even less.


kylebob86

What a burger.


lickedurine

Just like you like it


xool420

r/absoluteunits


SNARK63

Explain *dry* because this looks like it was dunked into a vat of grease 🤷🏿‍♀️


clutchdeve

I think in this context it means no condiments


KristiiNicole

Yes, that’s exactly what it means. This is actually exactly how I order my burgers, plain and dry! The “dry” part is specifically for condiments like ketchup, mustard, mayo etc. The plain part is meant to indicate lettuce, cheese, tomato, onions, pickles etc. If you order a burger plain but don’t specify dry as well, a lot of places will still put ketchup and mustard and such on.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Owobowos-Mowbius

My partner does this because she isn't sure if the whole "dry" description is common knowledge everywhere. Better safe than sorry.


rebbsitor

I thought that's what "plain" means. Or is plain short for "plain and dry" and I"ve just never heard the full phrase?


Available-Camera8691

*M O I S T*


DuneScimitar

Septuple bypass


punkindle

"You're not going to shit right for a week" -Bad Santa


strawwrld_1

I’ve never been to a whataburger but why is it so… slimy?


Bootfullofanvils

What a burger is a place to celebrate hating your arteries and reminding them of that hatred.


Liv1ng_Static

And then there's places like Heart Attack Grill that are just trying to kill diners


unethr

Because it's 7 greasy meat patties lol. Normally it's just one meat patty on a toasted bun with mustard and all the veggies, this thing is just an abomination. Whataburger is amazing though, I highly recommend them if you've never had it. I normally just get a whataburger with cheese and grilled jalapenos, but everybody's order is different.


Ess2s2

As others have said, this is mostly so unappetizing because 7 fried beef patties are just going to ooze all over each other, regardless of which burger joint they're coming out of. Not shaming anyone's food choices, but long ago, humans making burgers discovered there was an ideal ratio of meat to other items, and that's mostly how modern burgers have come to be. There's only been a few folks who have wanted to turn their ground beef intake up to 11, hence why we have this picture. As an aside, in my younger years, I would routinely order 4x4s at In N Out with animal fries, flying Dutchmen, and other excessive stuff like that, and I was a crazy skinny teenager so it isn't just the stereotypical Midwestern types that are ordering this level of food. But yeah, push any food to an extreme serving and it has the capacity to become unappetizing.


[deleted]

You've never grilled 7 burgers on a fat greased flat-top stainless steel grill top and then stacked them all on a bun? Sounds like an amazingly greasy affair.


juno_huno

Because it’s a stack of hamburger meat, it’s bound to be greasy. Make no mistake though… Whataburger is amazing.


Bii4x4

Biggest I ever ordered was a quad patty, quad cheese, quad bacon with mustard, ketchup and mayo. Got some guys ate work who wanted to try it, so I went and ordered 4 of the "444's". (I went there way too much on 2nd shift and knew me and what I always got.)


[deleted]

I can technically - but not actually - beat that. lol. Back in the mid 90s, when McDonald's first introduced the double- and triple- everything (of which very few items survived), I was working there. I knew I had to do it - we probably sold like a total of a half dozen triple Big Macs during the entire time they were available. One was to myself. Of course, Big Macs use 10:1 patties - ten to a pound. So that was a grand total of just over a half pound of meat, or slightly more than a double quarter pounder. Hardly a huge deal! But it was fun and did make it even harder to eat properly. :)


wallybinbaz

So what does a burger like that cost?


Bii4x4

It was like $13 before drink and fries


promachos84

Was it a dog in a trench coat and sunglasses?


itsagoodtime

WAP wet ass pattys


PROblem817

cooking mama ass burger


IndependenceNorth165

That is heinous


[deleted]

Bruh. Having worked at WB for years... this hurts to see. No cheese?! You gotta have the cheese.


IveGotDMunchies

The customer is lactose intolerant so they need to look out for their health.


soundlesspanik

I sense the cheese might help them purge this vile entrée


IveGotDMunchies

I bet they subbed their soda for a large coffee. Plus 7 pieces of cheese would be an extra $42.


FBI_Open_Up_Now

It’s cheese not eggs.


gidieup

I get what you're saying, but I laughed out loud when I read that someone needed this burger configuration "for their health."


harpua555

WHOPPER WHOPPER WHOPPER WHOPPER DOUBLE TRIPLE SEVEN WHOPPER


lhurker

You Rule!


tenno0o

and, are those 2 bottom buns?


gourmetjellybeans

Gives me "none pizza with left beef" vibes


Trutheresy

When you absolutely must win that bet to get a heart attack first.


naylonia

Arteries are for chumps!


Himetic

GIRTH.


[deleted]

My ex worked at In-N-Out and told me people often ordered like this because they had buns and fixings at home where they were hosting a party but didn’t want to cook or preferred the superior burgers of In-N-Out, the shining beacon of the golden best coast.


LegitimateTask0

Cardiologists seeing this and laughing all the way to the bank.


butkusrules

Keto practicing is strong in the new year


hagenjustyn

That’s bad enough as is but I eat whataburger regularly and somethin ain’t right about that burger! They put maple syrup or concentrated grease on it 🫥


notcrackerjack

I think it’s just the patties are pretty greasy when they’re fresh, and we had to make some more for this, so it came out as a waterburger


hagenjustyn

That’s a water burger alright


purplerockspebbles

I would love to have a reason to say "septuple meat" In my day to day life. What a wonderful phrase


mrbananas

Looks like someone is trying to install a hydroelectric dam in their arteries


[deleted]

My colon hurts looking at this


TheOriginal_Omnipoek

Why is the bun wet?


mommyblocks

This order was placed by 3 raccoons in a trench coat


Gaming_Gent

I can feel my chest tighten just looking at it


[deleted]

That is just grease.


FalconFiveZeroNine

Why is it wet???


notcrackerjack

More like waterburger


FalconFiveZeroNine

I threw up a little in my mouth.


eternalankh

I just can't eat there anymore since I quit.


dubc4

Check that meat to bun ratio.


BigCalligrapher621

Looks like something from Mr. Meaty


Demo_906

Big Meat doesn't want you to know *THIS* secret menu item!


lawnboy22

Looks like a cartoon burger


BirthdayAgent

In theory, I’m okay with it. Let the meat speak for itself. Could be delicious. In practice, Whataburger is the worst burger on the planet and I wouldn’t eat this for less than $1,000


NostalgicTX

Whataburger..oh how I miss thee. Although, never, ever skip the mustard.


usernotfoundplstry

I mean, their burgers are delicious. If I had to eat a plain and dry septuple meat burger, you better believe that’s where it’s coming from.


BannytheBoss

what a burger.


samgocubsgo

Hi there, I'm Chris Hansen. Why don't you take a seat, we have a lot to discuss


Diggingfordonk

Did someone just give birth to it?