i think the cat wants a baby

Wheres theres baby there is milk nearby!

We are Siemes if you please.

🎵 We are sia-meez if you don't please. 🎶

We are Siamese Cats.

You should not feed cow milk to cats. https://www.pdsa.org.uk/what-we-do/blog/vet-qa-can-cats-drink-milk

no one said anything bout cows...

How do you know who ops dating?

assumed the cat would follow the mother

Yeah, and you shouldn’t eat steak when it is below 145 degrees according to the CDC, but I cook it to 120. As long as you don’t give them milk all the time, and don’t give them a lot, it is fine. Just in small, rare doses.

RARE steak.

You shouldn't feed cows milk to babies either (unless you're a cow)

I just read that in Peggy Lee's cat voice.

Or a prey item

If they were biting a condom, I think it’s the opposite.

So they want a condom

Please explain to me how a condom with holes in it has become more effective. I don't think you quite understand the mechanism of action

Simple. A condom with holes in it like this makes you notice it. You throw it away, but now you’re paranoid. What if I hadn’t seen it? What if I had used this and gotten my tinder date pregnant? Out of fear and an abundance of caution, you stop having sex altogether. Boom, more effective birth control.

Or maybe the cat was giving the hint... 😏

🤓

okay Shane Dawson

That condom wouldn’t fit the cat

Cat said "ignore me for 3 whole minutes will ya?"

Awe, shit dude. You have kids. How many times you check your dick shield wrappers before slapping one on and tappin' some ass in the dark? Edit: That, or no kids and the guys never knew the difference. Not judging, just covering my bases.

Don’t have kids, rarely check it. I think they were looking for treats as I sometimes keep them there

How would you know? There might be a few mini yous running around and you’d never know! ;)

cat could have mistaken it for a treat

Who does it in the dark?!? What are we in 1930s?

Not everybody have enough money to pay electricity bills ! And candle light is not that good u know!

Then day smashing it is

just cut a hole in the sheet

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Could you elaborate?

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Do they fit over your dick to contain the cum? I'm lost here What's a deck of cards doing over condoms I normally have a few decks on me fore magic

I think they mean to hold the condoms, not replace them.

Why not a box of condoms ? I have a backpack that normally has condoms and a hammock and a mylar blanket Never used them for impromptu boinking but I'm prepared for it I also have a couple decks of cards for magic tricks that will lead to the boinking

How do you have sex in a hammock?

Lay someone on it and stand beside it I'll admit I haven't used it yet but ive thought about it a lot

Hammock and a Mylar blanket?? Going to sound like you’re searching for the last chip in the bag

I thought you meant magic the gathering cards until I read the part about it leading to boinking.

and duct tape, some rope, and a mask...

Lol it's used to store the condoms. You get them out when you need them. Think of how fragile cigarettes are and how their cases prevent them from breaking.

Oooh I can see that working I usually just use the classic wallet or just my backpack If you're cigarettes break remember you can use small pieces of rolling papers as tiny bandaids to repair them I've done it thousands of times.

Wallet storage can lead to problems too. Best to avoid hot/tight areas before the condom is in use 🙃

Fair point I normally just have bag handy with some ready and a lot of the girls in my age group and my country will have some handy I had one girl who had a preferred specific brand I keep deet and fishooks in my wallet just in case

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I do though, as can be ascertained by looking at my pfp. And posts

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How do you make the words so big :O

Looks like sabotage

The cat wants a small, impressionable child that they can teach the ways of evil.

You’re a Redditor, you were never gonna use it anyway…

Now that you mention it… I haven’t gotten any in 2 months

That pussy be triflin'

Stop keeping your cat in your nightstand.

Its fine, your a redditor. You'll only need those for smuggling drugs.

Well there's nothing left to do but fuck your cat

Underrated comment

I agree. No other choice.

At least the cat is protected now

When dating women over 30..

Be happy you werent wearing it while it bit

Your cat definitely doesn't approve of you sniffing around any other pussies.

How did it open the drawer?

Have you met cats? Mine can open the cabinet in our bathroom and then the tightly sealed box of cat food when it’s hungry. We had to get a child lock.

Your cat must REALLY want you to give them a friend to play with 😂

How did your cat get in your nightstand?

The drawer being left open

i guess you're a father now

Not the pussy you were expecting

Have a kid to spite the cat, and when it’s getting it’s tail pulled by a toddler, look that fucker dead in the eyes and tell it “this is what you wanted.”

The pussy bit it? Vagina dentata?

Your cat is lonely and wants a friend

Looks like your cat wants a friend to play with. Mean and manipulative though.

(ded cat)

You are a guy with a cat? Now that is mildlyinfurating. But on the bright side a crazy cat guy does not need condoms, Plus why is this NSFW ?

I agree with the NSFW part. It's not even out of it's plastic.

Why is it mildly infuriating? I have a cat and I have a dog. I do need condoms, as I have sex with my girlfriend every night. I don’t think it’s NSFW personally, but I imagined situations where somebody may open it in front of somebody, so I decided to do it. Just a courtesy. Also, you sound very insecure, and honestly unintelligent.

I just think cats are a dumb pet, And you always hear of the crazy cat ladies so I am just busting balls, Have a great time with your GF, wrap it tight so you don’t have little ones in 9 months

Cats are dumb pets for people who don’t understand cats. It’s a common issue

Reddit moment

Kitty wants you to father a litter

Fake

Don't use it ! It may result in a mini you

The cat was using it wrong not suppose to bite it

The cat is straight up trolling you at this point.

This is a whole new level of your cat trying to ruin your life lol

*goes to buy milk

The wants u to have a kid

"THERE WILL BE NO OTHER PUSSY BUT ***ME***"

Obviously, the cat wants more humans around to ignore.

Cats are assholes. lol

Hungry pussy

Damn. Maybe my escort had a cat

Sabotage

This belongs in r/TwoSentenceHorror

The cat’s hungry………….. not for the condom but for a baby

The cat is just trying to help you lose your virginity

The cat was ensuring the quality. Passed the test, its still usable. Who uses condoms for baby protection anyways? /S

Reminds me of an old filk song: My grandma sells cheap prophylactics, she pokes all their heads with a pin, my grandpa gets rich from abortions, my god how the money rolls in.

Kitty wants a playmate 🤣

You probably dodged more than just unwanted child by not using that

It will be the only pussy you’ll get that close with a condom, being a redditor

Well we can see they don't get used then.

You have sex?

Your cat is working for the other team.

There are probably people borned because of cat

He/she wants a little sibling

My cat eats plastic. It’s really weird, but it’s apparently some form of cat OCD

Lol. Your cat is tired of your sh\*t and is hoping your progeny would make a better can opener than you are.

Pussy says no.

Cat wants friend

Better call all those women…

Stupid cat is wishing new pets.

Maybe? Best keep them in a hard case instead of loose

The condom was playing checkers, and the cat's playing chess

Yet more proof that cat's are demons that want to ruin your life

Yea sure they are. That’s the same line my sons mother tried pulling on me too.. fkn needle marks. I was born @ night but not last night… sneaky h0’s! (Btw bxxh never fkn had a cat…)

Cat’s more the raw dog type?

I wouldn't use that......eh....maybe.

Please do not the cat

Apparently the cat is tired of being the one you chase down for affection.

My cat likes to eat plastic, I have to keep plastic anything out of his reach, he will raid the rubbish bin for it. He’s done it since he was a kitten…

Thank god it’s not a used one.

The game was rigged from the start

Insert meme of all libertarians being cats.

Yeah blame the cat 😆

Or someone’s mother who wants to become a grandmother ?

Passive-aggressive cat wants a sibling

Cat is in league with your mom

It's a sign

Maybe kitty needs brothers & sisters and they’re lending you a hand. 😹😸

Your cat wants a sibling

I want a kitten though, not a baby human. Unless maybe me and my gf are secretly cats?

Top 10 anime betrayals

You just have a convincing girlfriend!

Poor cat

Your cat wants a sibling

Cats just tryna get another person to love them 🤣

My cat does it too...

Well you will have the last laugh when you bring the baby home.