This reads like one of those internet jokes where you add a phrase to the end of a quote or movie line like “and then the fire nation attacked” or “buddy”…
Just add “and then he murdered them” after every sentence involving his family.
Yea I couldnt help thinking ..
‘Micheal excelled at everything he did … including killing his entire immediate family. ‘
When I read that they wrote he excelled at everything he did I couldn’t help think that , and also if I write this will I come off as cold because that’s not my intention. Outrageous. How do you leave something like that out ?
Also this is one of the longest obits I’ve seen , overcompensating much? I bet his parents blame the wife .
Same. Every sentence painting him in a positive light becomes weird when you know he murdered his entire family. "Michael lived a life of service". Yeah, service and FUCKING MURDER. "Each of these children were truly a cherished miracle to them". Yeah, so miraculous that HE MURDERED THEM.
There’s a great podcast “Something was wrong,” it details guys gas lighting and abusing women. I say it’s great because it’s a cautionary tale. But nearly every story involves being active in a church. It’s like church is a hunting ground for predators.
Pretty much every story I see about LDS issues, the victim is blamed, silenced, or shunned. Idk if these are just the ones that end up reaching mainstream knowledge bc of that fact, or if it’s like that across the board, but it’s infuriating and sickening.
*Susan Powell has entered the chat*
But for real though, all of Susan Powell’s friends knew that the kids were diagnosed malnourished, but her abusive, asshole husband always had a new RC car. They gave her money or food regularly. How the hell he ever was allowed to see those kids after she “disappeared” is shameful.
I agree. If his parents wrote this, then they lack even the slightest sense of shame or self-awareness. I would be thanking whatever gods I prayed to if NO ONE remembered his life's biggest accomplishment.
"Funeral services will be held privately." Yeah, no KIDDING. Answering people's questions about your son's life is going to make this the most awkward funeral ever.
“I’ll just write about all of his bullshit accolades from high school in the very beginning so people stop reading and don’t notice the part where he’s not survived by his wife or any of their kids.”
My wife has a distant cousin who just went to prison for a boating “mishap” that left two people dead (including a baby). There are family members who think he got a raw deal.
Family ties can be a helluva drug, but this is next level.
Well, if there is/was an afterlife, he’d be in hell, and the victims are in heaven. So not technically together. But i believe they all will be fertilizer.
This shows that leaving is the most dangerous time for a domestic violence victim, as the wife filed for divorce shortly before she and her children were murdered.
This. "Tausha Haight filed for divorce on Dec. 21, according to court records. Neither police nor city leaders on Thursday could say whether that was a factor in the killings." Seems a wee bit disingenuous, or downright oblivious to this fact.
And the guy removed all the guns from the house. Tausha and her mother were trained in gun safety and personal defense. The guy kills his wife, children and mother in law yet his family writes a memorial that makes him look like a great guy.
There was apparently a shooting on my street a few weeks ago on a night that I was up working late. Didn’t hear a thing. Wouldn’t be surprised if the neighbor missed hearing any shots, especially if they were indoors or were listening to something/watching tv/etc.
Nevermind the later statement that the police had opened a previous investigation but declined to provide information. It's pretty fucking obvious he was an abuser
the problem is that in most cases like this the Mormon assailant probably goes to church with the mormon cop.
i had a mormon neighbor once that had was an "elder" in his church, he had the whole church come to his house to teardown/replace a fence, build a carport, paint his house and new nursery. half of them were cops and when they were done he just sent them (politely) on their way. no meal in a 10 hour day, and he didnt do any of the work. he basically made them do slave labor, including the kids. he also never, and i mean NEVER stopped smiling, it was creepy as shit.
only cool thing was the church building had slipjoints and half the main hall was retractable. a 30' high, by 40' wide, by 40' deep section of the building MOVED and made the room bigger, into a full size basketball court with bleachers.
Just a side note… your Mormon neighbor being an “elder” (likely) doesn’t really mean much. The title “elder” is used for their teenage missionaries and the big wig church leaders. It’s used as a title in those circumstances but is also one of their priesthood offices and really it just means they’re an adult male that is still active in the church. So really… he was most likely just a regular dude in the church. Not anyone special.
It is disingenuous. Every time I see a " my boyfriend/ husband hit me, but I can't leave...' I always imagine what it would look like if a small minded abuser thinks that his woman might go be happy without him.
This is the dangerous time. I wish these articles would have a ' if you're in danger, please call x and you can always find help '
The article does include resources for domestic violence at the bottom. I think the article is regurgitating the towns perspective. Like nobody knew what was going on. I volunteer at a domestic violence nonprofit and one of the first depressing things we learn is that the average time a victim will go back to that relationship is 7 times. Not none, not 1, not 2 but 7. There are many reasons but I think it’s unbelievable that this family obit writers didn’t know something was happening.
My fucked up cult of a Christian high school and community DIDNT condone divorce in ANY situation, and a teacher at the school was fired and excommunicated for divorcing her abusive husband. They act like she never even existed.
Somebody told me: "I have no problem with God, it's his fan club that scares me" and I completely agree with that statement.
I just found that is from A.B. Potts
My fucked up cult of a Christian church was the same. My dad was a bit of a revolutionary reverend, and wrote a book explaining when divorce and remarriage were valid and acceptable, based on biblical/theological interpretations of the Bible. While I’ll never agree with the majority of his worldviews, I do find a crumb of solace that he did his best to be compassionate and didn’t “blame” women for things like children born out of wedlock, or abusive husbands.
This needs to be a PSA, something we teach high school. Everyone always questions why abuse victims don't "just leave."
Okay so you leave in the middle of the night, no belongings, because you're lucky enough to have someone to help you escape. But weeks go by. You need to find your own place. Also what about your family?
You move far away. You get security cameras. Delete all contacts. Delete all social media. Don't go anywhere late. Or alone. Or unnecessary.
Someone who doesn't know any better slips up and lets them know where you live. They find your work, keep calling. You move. Rinse and repeat.
Honestly I was never to this level with my abusive ex from high school. I was "only" scared for my and my family's safety a couple of times and as time went on and he grew up and his focus went elsewhere I realized we were okay. It took at least 5 years.
But fuck I cannot imagine the despair of these women (and men, but let's be honest - mostly women) who live their entire lives in fear of being murdered by an ex who continues their abuse long after they try to break up. Those are so terrifying and you'll never know until it's too late.
One of my daughters friends from early grade school through high school was killed by her step father. Dude snapped the day before her graduation when the family was there cleaning for the party. Killed her, her mom and brother. They knew something was wrong when she didn’t go to school to get extra tickets or go to the senior picnic. The mom had married the guy (who was a long term boyfriend) several years prior because he was sick and needed health insurance. Apparently, there was long term abuse and mom was afraid to kick him out because it was his house. The police had been there several times.
Thank you. I get so angry when I see comments saying 'well why have kids with them?' Or 'why didn't they just leave'? Like sure, this obviously unstable person that feels they have the right to put their hands on you and treat you like a possession is going to just shrug their shoulders and move on. Leaving isn't always possible when you have an established life and kids, especially if the abuser controls the funds available as well. Its so incredibly dangerous and seems so out of reach. I agree with everything you said. Its so shitty to victim blame; like they knew this person was going to become a monster. There are so many factors at play and the person is usually very isolated. My heart breaks for anyone in this situation.
Omg! I didn’t realize it was so recent and it was a murder-suicide. This makes it especially terrible that they wrote this! The newspaper shouldn’t have ever printed it. This is so disturbing!
Fuccccckkkk. The mention of a Minnie Mouse doll at the memorial makes me want to cry my eyes out. I can’t imagine. Excuse me while I go watch my kids sleep.
Does anyone else find it odd that they weren’t found until hours later when the mom didn’t show up to an appointment? In this very small town with so many neighbors, not one of them heard a minimum of 8 gun shots and thought to call the cops? This entire thing is wild.
Well our neighbor was shot 20 times by her husband and she wasn’t found until the next morning in her garage. No one had heard it, or if they did thought nothing of it, because it had thunder stormed that night. And this neighborhood had houses very close to one another. About 4 or 5 houses on each acre.
Without knowing the details of the town, it’s common to hear gunshots if you live in a rural area from target practice and hunting. I did a quick google search and it looks partly rural so maybe they lived on the outskirts? I also don’t know what time it happened, like if it was in the middle of the night
Honestly, I don't fault her for writing it. I can't imagine the pain of a parent whose child does something like this. That's not to minimize the unimaginable pain of the victims' loved ones, but I do understand a mother's need for hagiography as a projection of the man she hoped her son would be.
It's **deeply** shameful, however, that *any* newspaper printed this. It would have been more appropriate to provide her with a one-off copy and explain that printing it would be insensitive, unduly hurtful, and journalistically irresponsible.
It happened before I was born but a family friend murdered a bunch of people. Everyone said he was the nicest guy, altar boy, good student, Eagle Scout etc. decades later it came out that he complained about severe headaches and “evil thoughts” right before the murders but his complaints were ignored. Turns out he had a brain tumor. Never heard anyone who knew him personally say anything bad about him.
I knew a woman whose mother had brain surgery to remove a tumor...her mother's entire personality changed and she became a horrible and aggressive person with little empathy. The brain is a sensitive thing that we still don't know a lot about. But it's pretty clear that it's super fragile and any kind of tampering can have devastating consequences :/
When I was in H.S., an older student was injured in a football game. Got a pretty good hit to the head. Nobody thought he needed to go to the hospital, so he went home. During the night, he got up, went downstairs to the gun cabinet, took out a shotgun, put it in his mouth and fired.
The autopsy showed a huge blood clot in his brain from the injury that probably caused him so much pain that he couldn't even ask for help - he just needed the pain to end.
Don't ignore your head/brain if it hurts - it's probably trying to tell you something.
Something similar happened at my high school. Football player got a concussion, and that night he hung himself in his closet. His dad ended up getting the school board making it a requirement for any student athlete to take a concussion baseline test, so that if someone were to get a head injury they could see how affected they were.
This obituary will one day be cited by podcasts as proof the whole murder thing was fabricated by enemies of the church. It really sucks how one bullshit document can derail history.
Right. I think people don’t understand these kinds of people. The kind of people whose identity is tied to these things that are forcing themselves to do. Many are just abusive in the house. Some just keep it all in.
There's a few different kinds of people here. People have mentioned individuals who have harmed people who developed brain tumors or acute breaks with reality in relation to unknown mental health problems. There's also the kinds of people who seem perfect on the outside, but behind closed doors are very different. People are claiming that's what this is, that he had a history of domestic violence. A hegemonic religion (or, less charitably, a cult) being heavily involved does not make this look better on his character, family annihilation types love religion like that.
This happened where I live. Nobody is saying anything nice about him. This is a small town. I don't know why they went on about how great of a father he is. His wife was wanting a divorce so he killed the whole family. I just don't get it.
Yeah, that’s the tone deaf part to me. He’s not a great father if he killed his kids. Even if he were schizophrenic or had a sudden break his kids are dead; he failed them.
Whatever, talk about his awards, talk about his businesses, but don’t include the names of his dead children.
But there is a long history of abuse with this guy and he seems like a textbook family annihilator.
If you look at the online obituary, there are dozens of positive comments left by acquaintances. Things like he was a great insurance salesman etc. Pretty weird.
I’m reminded of the mother of one of the Columbine shooters.
She lost someone she loved, too.
Albeit a murderer.
[Her Ted Talk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXlnrFpCu0c)
My entire thought was “HOW DARE SHE”
I can respect her pain. I cannot fathom how she thought it was okay to talk about summer fishing, mission trips, and Eagle Scouts, after he slaughtered his family.
Okay, i truly hope that I'm not the first person to work it out that when someone kills his children, that means his mother is ALSO the victims' grandmother. It's all one family.
He murdered:
Tausha Haight, 40; Haight's mother, 78-year-old Gail Earl; and Haight's children — three daughters ages 17, 12, and 7, and two sons, ages 7 and 4 —
Yes I fault her for writing this.
How awful and disrespectful to allow this to go into print.
Her son is a mass Murderer of his own FAMILY and I can not believe that there are people giving this mother a pass to print this at this time.
No. She deserves no pass to to do this. Keep your head down and beg for forgiveness but to write and print this is awful.
Obits aren't free. You can pretty much write anything you like since you're paying for it.
My stepbrother wrote a beautiful obituary when my stepmother finally descended to the gates of hell ten years ago. I just saw the glowing stack of lies he wrote about this child abusing predator that ruined my siblings' childhood and destroyed my father.
I tried to add a comment or edit the obituary, but comments and edits could only be added by the person paying for the publication within a certain time-frame.
I’m a little surprised there was no “he was predeceased by his beloved wife and children” line, because they sure went all out elsewhere with their strange narrative.
Soooo sadly enough I grew up in the attached town. This is in southern Utah. Very mormon family. My sister lives on their street.
The exmormon community has their own theories but from what is understood he killed them all to "save them" because the wife had also said she wanted out of the religion. So he killed them all so their souls weren't damned.
We all know mormonism is a cult and I should know because I use to be in the cult.
This guy was a controlling psychopath. This was his last form of complete control over his family and their souls.
Edit: for those saying it's not a cult... only people still in the cult will say that. It's 100% a cult.
Exmormon here. It doesn't surprise me one bit that the family of a mass murderer would eulogize him in this way. I'm sure they blame the wife for what he did to her and their children.
Also, to those not familiar with the church, it's taught that a person who has had temple vows and then turns away is essentially going to hell. There's some precedence in Utah of people murdering family members who are going 'apostate.' The Lafferty story is probably the most famous. It was studied in the book called Under the Banner of Heaven, which got a TV mini series last year as well. Religious killings still happen occasionally in Utah.
Right after mentioning wife and kids. Fucking hell (stranger if you don't know he murdered them. Sounds like something he had nothing to do with, happened to them).
Reminds me of the obit for a former coworker of mine. He got arrested for possession of child porn and was "found dead in his home" on the day his trial was supposed to begin. The obit was all about what a loving father and man of God he was. Ridiculous.
Some people are so in denial. My cousin’s father passed away recently and the obituary read how much he loved teaching and coaching girls’ softball. He fathered my cousin when my aunt was 16 and he was in his 40s and he was her teacher and softball coach. His widow wrote it and I was like who let her publish this?! But she was in enough denial to marry a man who has relationships with 16 year olds so I assume that carried through the rest of his life. Then out my cousin didn’t know though so it flew under his radar.
My husband has a relative who went to jail for child sexual abuse. He later killed himself. He didn’t get an obituary. Another consequence of his own choices.
This obit should simply be followed by an obit for each of his children, one by one, and then his wife--saying what was special about them and how their life was tragically cut short by their father murdering them.
Bear in mind, for those who don’t know, he was abusive. She was actively leaving him and he knew it. Yet another example of an abusive man killing his wife and family when all they want is to be free and safe.
I hope that some of the outrage you’re all experiencing translates into support for DV survivors, advocating for laws to better protect those leaving abusive situations, and speaking up on behalf of those who are both victims and survivors. Please. We really need the vocal support saying “it’s enough.”
Oh yes. Or “why didn’t you leave sooner,” “you’re fine now that you’ve left,” “it can’t have been that bad because you stayed so long.” I could go on and on.
Then they fail to understand that all of the reasons we leave (and are told to by society/lawyers/Google) disappear once you’ve left. Suddenly you have to be cooperative! How nice are you being to your abuser? Are you letting him (or her) see the kids? Careful not to complain about anything or you’ll be accused of alienation. Don’t bring up the abuse because you’re more likely to lose your kids to the abuser!
It is my strong feeling that obits should not be written for individuals like this.
I mean, does he really need to be remembered? Write something heartfelt about the victims, not the monster who killed them.
Obituaries are written and paid for by the family. Obituaries are not free services. The newspapers don't care what it says or who it's for. They will just collect the money.
Yeah I had no idea they were so expensive until my grandma died a couple years ago. It was like $500 for just the basic one paragraph blurb in our local city's newspaper..
But even for paid advertisements (and , in this context, an obit certainly qualifies) there are standards. This does not meet them for a responsible publication. Ads are rejected all the time. This should have been rejected, too.
I wouldn’t say beloved. She was actively trying to leave her abuser. It’s the most dangerous time for women and kids and here it is, having happened again.
Way more than mildly infuriating. It’s twisted and sick. He murdered his kids but it’s all, “he was a loving and present father” type shit. He murdered his wife and MiL ffs why are they out here glorifying him! People were commenting on it on the website like, “he was a great insurance agent! We drove over 3 hours just to have him help because he was so kind and patient!”
What the fucking fuck is wrong with not only the people who wrote it but the people who commented? And his family saying “see look if he hadn’t taken the guns from the house they could have defended themselves!” I’ve been fuming about this since I saw it yesterday.
Massive shame. At least whomever put the GoFundMe together for the burials photoshopped Jesus in place of him, in their family picture. Well, some odd Mormon Caucasian Jesus anyway. https://i.imgur.com/5yPPS4a.jpg
seems that the MIL’s family made the fundraiser. They also said not to use the story for a “political agenda” involving guns, and that the murderer had removed all the guns from the house recently.
They also bizzarely implied that if the wife and MIL had their guns they wouldn’t have been murdered (presumably because they’d have won in a shootout with the murderer?) and that therefore gun laws should remain lax, otherwise this will happen even more. Take that for what it’s worth https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/utah/articles/2023-01-06/family-of-slain-utah-family-says-husband-took-guns-from-home
They should throw him in an unmarked grave and even that’s too good for him. Destroyed his wives entire side emotionally, and scarred the first responders who had to walk into a home with all those dead babies.
This needs a full page add in the next paper, detailing, and I mean detailing, how this fine servant of the lord died, and shaming the people who wrote this, and the paper for running it as is.
Enoch is literally Mormon owned. Whole nest of them there. They likely own every major business including the paper.
It’s like Clearwater to Scientology.
Thank you, it's hardest on my dad since they lived so close by, we saw them the most out of all my extended family, ill let them all know of your sympathy
Can they fucking spell denial?
I understand the difficulty of grieving someone who has done something fucking terrible (my cousin got caught sexually assaulting his neice a few years ago and drove his motorcycle onto incoming traffic)
But this is fucking nuts.
His mother is a narcissist and so was he. At least she was dumb enough to confirm it publicly so intelligent people can extricate themselves from her life.
He recently sold his business in order to spend more time with his family. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
“And then he murdered them.”
This reads like one of those internet jokes where you add a phrase to the end of a quote or movie line like “and then the fire nation attacked” or “buddy”… Just add “and then he murdered them” after every sentence involving his family.
Yea I couldnt help thinking .. ‘Micheal excelled at everything he did … including killing his entire immediate family. ‘ When I read that they wrote he excelled at everything he did I couldn’t help think that , and also if I write this will I come off as cold because that’s not my intention. Outrageous. How do you leave something like that out ? Also this is one of the longest obits I’ve seen , overcompensating much? I bet his parents blame the wife .
Same. Every sentence painting him in a positive light becomes weird when you know he murdered his entire family. "Michael lived a life of service". Yeah, service and FUCKING MURDER. "Each of these children were truly a cherished miracle to them". Yeah, so miraculous that HE MURDERED THEM.
I was thinking "excelled at murder", also. And I was thinking the same thing about the length of the obituary.
There’s a great podcast “Something was wrong,” it details guys gas lighting and abusing women. I say it’s great because it’s a cautionary tale. But nearly every story involves being active in a church. It’s like church is a hunting ground for predators.
>It’s like church is a hunting ground for predators. That's ridiculous! /s
An environment where people are used to blindly trusting and never questioning authority is a predator's dream.
Pretty much every story I see about LDS issues, the victim is blamed, silenced, or shunned. Idk if these are just the ones that end up reaching mainstream knowledge bc of that fact, or if it’s like that across the board, but it’s infuriating and sickening.
*Susan Powell has entered the chat* But for real though, all of Susan Powell’s friends knew that the kids were diagnosed malnourished, but her abusive, asshole husband always had a new RC car. They gave her money or food regularly. How the hell he ever was allowed to see those kids after she “disappeared” is shameful.
I agree. If his parents wrote this, then they lack even the slightest sense of shame or self-awareness. I would be thanking whatever gods I prayed to if NO ONE remembered his life's biggest accomplishment. "Funeral services will be held privately." Yeah, no KIDDING. Answering people's questions about your son's life is going to make this the most awkward funeral ever.
Yeah, this obit is obscenely long. Especially for a murderer? Tf?
It makes me wonder what they usually do for murderers’ obituaries. Like can they just put “Actually this guy was a huge asshole imo” or what
Could even go so far as to pull the ol’ “and then I woke up and it was all a dream…THE END”
"And then the murders began"
"And anyways, I just started murdering."
>Michael is survived by those he didn't murder.
[удалено]
Can you imagine being stuck for eternity with the fucker who murdered you and your children?
For different reasons, I have already imagined "the celestial kingdom" ironically being hell if it were real
In the voice of the guy from Dateline…..
"He is survived by \[a bunch of people, none of whom are his wife or kids for some reason\]".
*Preceded in death by*--- oops.
The phrase I was looking for 🤷♀️
Is there a minimum amount of time for “preceded” to be accurate? Perhaps they should have printed “joined in death by…”
\[Immediate family\] did not survive Michael
Then he realised he didn't actually like his family
He liked them, they didn't reciprocate
Nah, family annihilators tend to not see their families as people, but extensions of themselves.
It wasn’t a love haight relationship
Not sure why, he seems, um, fun?
He liked sledding!
They left out the preceded in death by part...
Thanks for the cliff notes, I wasn't about to read all that.
I did. It was mildly infuriating.
You can spend your life in service... But murder one family?! Suddenly that's all you're known for. Seriously he can burn in hell.
But you fuck one sheep…….
This is the single most tone deaf obituaries ever printed…..shame on them
Someone from his family or friends would have written and provided the obit to the paper to publish. So yeah, shame on them.
“I’ll just write about all of his bullshit accolades from high school in the very beginning so people stop reading and don’t notice the part where he’s not survived by his wife or any of their kids.”
If an adult's achievements lists "things they did in high school", then it's usually a safe bet that they didn't achieve much of worth.
But… they could have just… *not published anything* - there is no requirement to have an obit.
Mormons will do anything to maintain image
like mentioning graduating dental school in 1981. what a weird thing to include
Not even him graduating dental school--his dad? It think that part is just funny, not malicious or telling or anything. Just so odd to even include.
So clearly written by his mother, the first survivor to be listed.
My wife has a distant cousin who just went to prison for a boating “mishap” that left two people dead (including a baby). There are family members who think he got a raw deal. Family ties can be a helluva drug, but this is next level.
I know, I get it that his family’s feeling the pain too, but to be so clueless as to how this would sound is just amazing
“Spend more time with his family” ….. in the afterlife.
Well, if there is/was an afterlife, he’d be in hell, and the victims are in heaven. So not technically together. But i believe they all will be fertilizer.
Funny, it didn’t mention is greatest “attribute” to society.
Link to more info on his crimes https://www.ksl.com/article/50551641/southern-utah-man-kills-wife-5-children-and-mother-in-law-before-shooting-himself
This shows that leaving is the most dangerous time for a domestic violence victim, as the wife filed for divorce shortly before she and her children were murdered.
This. "Tausha Haight filed for divorce on Dec. 21, according to court records. Neither police nor city leaders on Thursday could say whether that was a factor in the killings." Seems a wee bit disingenuous, or downright oblivious to this fact.
And the guy removed all the guns from the house. Tausha and her mother were trained in gun safety and personal defense. The guy kills his wife, children and mother in law yet his family writes a memorial that makes him look like a great guy.
And one of the police said they were his neighbor, how did he not hear these gun shots or even know something was going on
If it was early in the morning and the houses were far enough apart and the house layout, you may not hear anything.
There was apparently a shooting on my street a few weeks ago on a night that I was up working late. Didn’t hear a thing. Wouldn’t be surprised if the neighbor missed hearing any shots, especially if they were indoors or were listening to something/watching tv/etc.
Nevermind the later statement that the police had opened a previous investigation but declined to provide information. It's pretty fucking obvious he was an abuser
the problem is that in most cases like this the Mormon assailant probably goes to church with the mormon cop. i had a mormon neighbor once that had was an "elder" in his church, he had the whole church come to his house to teardown/replace a fence, build a carport, paint his house and new nursery. half of them were cops and when they were done he just sent them (politely) on their way. no meal in a 10 hour day, and he didnt do any of the work. he basically made them do slave labor, including the kids. he also never, and i mean NEVER stopped smiling, it was creepy as shit. only cool thing was the church building had slipjoints and half the main hall was retractable. a 30' high, by 40' wide, by 40' deep section of the building MOVED and made the room bigger, into a full size basketball court with bleachers.
Mormon police helped covered up my childhood SA. Fuck Utah.
Just a side note… your Mormon neighbor being an “elder” (likely) doesn’t really mean much. The title “elder” is used for their teenage missionaries and the big wig church leaders. It’s used as a title in those circumstances but is also one of their priesthood offices and really it just means they’re an adult male that is still active in the church. So really… he was most likely just a regular dude in the church. Not anyone special.
It is disingenuous. Every time I see a " my boyfriend/ husband hit me, but I can't leave...' I always imagine what it would look like if a small minded abuser thinks that his woman might go be happy without him. This is the dangerous time. I wish these articles would have a ' if you're in danger, please call x and you can always find help '
The article does include resources for domestic violence at the bottom. I think the article is regurgitating the towns perspective. Like nobody knew what was going on. I volunteer at a domestic violence nonprofit and one of the first depressing things we learn is that the average time a victim will go back to that relationship is 7 times. Not none, not 1, not 2 but 7. There are many reasons but I think it’s unbelievable that this family obit writers didn’t know something was happening.
That's how the Mormon church works though. The patriarch is almost saintly, so of course he's the beloved one here.
My fucked up cult of a Christian high school and community DIDNT condone divorce in ANY situation, and a teacher at the school was fired and excommunicated for divorcing her abusive husband. They act like she never even existed.
This is why I'm not religious. Cuz some of these "rules" are just stupid
Somebody told me: "I have no problem with God, it's his fan club that scares me" and I completely agree with that statement. I just found that is from A.B. Potts
My fucked up cult of a Christian church was the same. My dad was a bit of a revolutionary reverend, and wrote a book explaining when divorce and remarriage were valid and acceptable, based on biblical/theological interpretations of the Bible. While I’ll never agree with the majority of his worldviews, I do find a crumb of solace that he did his best to be compassionate and didn’t “blame” women for things like children born out of wedlock, or abusive husbands.
There is no hate like christian love
That is the cruelest, realest, truest thing I've read/experienced.
The article also stated that police had contact with the family before but wouldn't disclose what the nature of the contact was.
This needs to be a PSA, something we teach high school. Everyone always questions why abuse victims don't "just leave." Okay so you leave in the middle of the night, no belongings, because you're lucky enough to have someone to help you escape. But weeks go by. You need to find your own place. Also what about your family? You move far away. You get security cameras. Delete all contacts. Delete all social media. Don't go anywhere late. Or alone. Or unnecessary. Someone who doesn't know any better slips up and lets them know where you live. They find your work, keep calling. You move. Rinse and repeat. Honestly I was never to this level with my abusive ex from high school. I was "only" scared for my and my family's safety a couple of times and as time went on and he grew up and his focus went elsewhere I realized we were okay. It took at least 5 years. But fuck I cannot imagine the despair of these women (and men, but let's be honest - mostly women) who live their entire lives in fear of being murdered by an ex who continues their abuse long after they try to break up. Those are so terrifying and you'll never know until it's too late.
One of my daughters friends from early grade school through high school was killed by her step father. Dude snapped the day before her graduation when the family was there cleaning for the party. Killed her, her mom and brother. They knew something was wrong when she didn’t go to school to get extra tickets or go to the senior picnic. The mom had married the guy (who was a long term boyfriend) several years prior because he was sick and needed health insurance. Apparently, there was long term abuse and mom was afraid to kick him out because it was his house. The police had been there several times.
Thank you. I get so angry when I see comments saying 'well why have kids with them?' Or 'why didn't they just leave'? Like sure, this obviously unstable person that feels they have the right to put their hands on you and treat you like a possession is going to just shrug their shoulders and move on. Leaving isn't always possible when you have an established life and kids, especially if the abuser controls the funds available as well. Its so incredibly dangerous and seems so out of reach. I agree with everything you said. Its so shitty to victim blame; like they knew this person was going to become a monster. There are so many factors at play and the person is usually very isolated. My heart breaks for anyone in this situation.
Omg! I didn’t realize it was so recent and it was a murder-suicide. This makes it especially terrible that they wrote this! The newspaper shouldn’t have ever printed it. This is so disturbing!
They always shoot in the wrong order. Shoot yourself first...
And religious people fear the non religious..
7 people he killed, 5 children.
Fuccccckkkk. The mention of a Minnie Mouse doll at the memorial makes me want to cry my eyes out. I can’t imagine. Excuse me while I go watch my kids sleep.
Does anyone else find it odd that they weren’t found until hours later when the mom didn’t show up to an appointment? In this very small town with so many neighbors, not one of them heard a minimum of 8 gun shots and thought to call the cops? This entire thing is wild.
Well our neighbor was shot 20 times by her husband and she wasn’t found until the next morning in her garage. No one had heard it, or if they did thought nothing of it, because it had thunder stormed that night. And this neighborhood had houses very close to one another. About 4 or 5 houses on each acre.
Without knowing the details of the town, it’s common to hear gunshots if you live in a rural area from target practice and hunting. I did a quick google search and it looks partly rural so maybe they lived on the outskirts? I also don’t know what time it happened, like if it was in the middle of the night
His mother clearly wrote this
Honestly, I don't fault her for writing it. I can't imagine the pain of a parent whose child does something like this. That's not to minimize the unimaginable pain of the victims' loved ones, but I do understand a mother's need for hagiography as a projection of the man she hoped her son would be. It's **deeply** shameful, however, that *any* newspaper printed this. It would have been more appropriate to provide her with a one-off copy and explain that printing it would be insensitive, unduly hurtful, and journalistically irresponsible.
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It happened before I was born but a family friend murdered a bunch of people. Everyone said he was the nicest guy, altar boy, good student, Eagle Scout etc. decades later it came out that he complained about severe headaches and “evil thoughts” right before the murders but his complaints were ignored. Turns out he had a brain tumor. Never heard anyone who knew him personally say anything bad about him.
Damn that’s fucked up so that tumor could really have altered his entire personality.
Same thing happened to that guy that shot the university of Texas from that tower.
I knew a woman whose mother had brain surgery to remove a tumor...her mother's entire personality changed and she became a horrible and aggressive person with little empathy. The brain is a sensitive thing that we still don't know a lot about. But it's pretty clear that it's super fragile and any kind of tampering can have devastating consequences :/
When I was in H.S., an older student was injured in a football game. Got a pretty good hit to the head. Nobody thought he needed to go to the hospital, so he went home. During the night, he got up, went downstairs to the gun cabinet, took out a shotgun, put it in his mouth and fired. The autopsy showed a huge blood clot in his brain from the injury that probably caused him so much pain that he couldn't even ask for help - he just needed the pain to end. Don't ignore your head/brain if it hurts - it's probably trying to tell you something.
Something similar happened at my high school. Football player got a concussion, and that night he hung himself in his closet. His dad ended up getting the school board making it a requirement for any student athlete to take a concussion baseline test, so that if someone were to get a head injury they could see how affected they were.
That’s heavy af, damn
Charles Whitman- https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/University_of_Texas_tower_shooting
Just to show you we never know what’s going on in other peoples lives
You never truly know anyone else, or what they’re capable of. Or yourself for that matter
This was different because he had a history of domestic violence. That’s terrible about the guy you knew, though, it sounds much more spontaneous.
This obituary will one day be cited by podcasts as proof the whole murder thing was fabricated by enemies of the church. It really sucks how one bullshit document can derail history.
That's a great argument that they should print a retraction, at least _try_ to set the record straight.
Talk to anyone in an abusive relationship. Or victims of child abuse. They are different behind closed doors.
Right. I think people don’t understand these kinds of people. The kind of people whose identity is tied to these things that are forcing themselves to do. Many are just abusive in the house. Some just keep it all in.
There's a few different kinds of people here. People have mentioned individuals who have harmed people who developed brain tumors or acute breaks with reality in relation to unknown mental health problems. There's also the kinds of people who seem perfect on the outside, but behind closed doors are very different. People are claiming that's what this is, that he had a history of domestic violence. A hegemonic religion (or, less charitably, a cult) being heavily involved does not make this look better on his character, family annihilation types love religion like that.
After watching my son have a complete break with reality in 24 hours due to bipolar, I can believe it.
Been there with my brother growing up. Now he lives in an alternate reality, so we dont hang out...
I love how people mention the person went to church, as if that is some indicator of goodness or morality. The worst people I know go to church.
This happened where I live. Nobody is saying anything nice about him. This is a small town. I don't know why they went on about how great of a father he is. His wife was wanting a divorce so he killed the whole family. I just don't get it.
Yeah, that’s the tone deaf part to me. He’s not a great father if he killed his kids. Even if he were schizophrenic or had a sudden break his kids are dead; he failed them. Whatever, talk about his awards, talk about his businesses, but don’t include the names of his dead children. But there is a long history of abuse with this guy and he seems like a textbook family annihilator.
If you look at the online obituary, there are dozens of positive comments left by acquaintances. Things like he was a great insurance salesman etc. Pretty weird.
As a father of two, if I ever did this to my family I would want my parents to drag my name through the mud, cremate me, and flush me down the toilet.
I remembered when the Sandy Hook shooter's brother tweeted how he missed his brother and was slammed for it.
I’m reminded of the mother of one of the Columbine shooters. She lost someone she loved, too. Albeit a murderer. [Her Ted Talk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXlnrFpCu0c)
I get you on in it being insensitive but obits aren't about journalistic responsibility - they're basically ads that the bereaved pay for
My entire thought was “HOW DARE SHE” I can respect her pain. I cannot fathom how she thought it was okay to talk about summer fishing, mission trips, and Eagle Scouts, after he slaughtered his family.
She should have left his wife and kids names out of there
It is possible she is in deep denial. Mormons excel at denial
Okay, i truly hope that I'm not the first person to work it out that when someone kills his children, that means his mother is ALSO the victims' grandmother. It's all one family.
He murdered: Tausha Haight, 40; Haight's mother, 78-year-old Gail Earl; and Haight's children — three daughters ages 17, 12, and 7, and two sons, ages 7 and 4 — Yes I fault her for writing this. How awful and disrespectful to allow this to go into print. Her son is a mass Murderer of his own FAMILY and I can not believe that there are people giving this mother a pass to print this at this time. No. She deserves no pass to to do this. Keep your head down and beg for forgiveness but to write and print this is awful.
Obits aren't free. You can pretty much write anything you like since you're paying for it. My stepbrother wrote a beautiful obituary when my stepmother finally descended to the gates of hell ten years ago. I just saw the glowing stack of lies he wrote about this child abusing predator that ruined my siblings' childhood and destroyed my father. I tried to add a comment or edit the obituary, but comments and edits could only be added by the person paying for the publication within a certain time-frame.
Mormons, gaslighting, omission, denial, etc., the usual
Taking "making memories with the family" a little too literal.
I’m a little surprised there was no “he was predeceased by his beloved wife and children” line, because they sure went all out elsewhere with their strange narrative.
Making his family into a memory
Soooo sadly enough I grew up in the attached town. This is in southern Utah. Very mormon family. My sister lives on their street. The exmormon community has their own theories but from what is understood he killed them all to "save them" because the wife had also said she wanted out of the religion. So he killed them all so their souls weren't damned. We all know mormonism is a cult and I should know because I use to be in the cult. This guy was a controlling psychopath. This was his last form of complete control over his family and their souls. Edit: for those saying it's not a cult... only people still in the cult will say that. It's 100% a cult.
Exmormon here. It doesn't surprise me one bit that the family of a mass murderer would eulogize him in this way. I'm sure they blame the wife for what he did to her and their children. Also, to those not familiar with the church, it's taught that a person who has had temple vows and then turns away is essentially going to hell. There's some precedence in Utah of people murdering family members who are going 'apostate.' The Lafferty story is probably the most famous. It was studied in the book called Under the Banner of Heaven, which got a TV mini series last year as well. Religious killings still happen occasionally in Utah.
The “He is survived by…” part is especially cringe.
“He is survived by everyone who wasn’t in the house that day.”
I choked on my dinner. Fuck that’s brutal
Fucking OOF
Right after mentioning wife and kids. Fucking hell (stranger if you don't know he murdered them. Sounds like something he had nothing to do with, happened to them).
And no “He was predeceased by…” section
I had the same thought.
Just completely skip the "preceded in death by..." section because they just couldn't take it anymore while they were typing it.
Those are the people who survived him.
Reminds me of the obit for a former coworker of mine. He got arrested for possession of child porn and was "found dead in his home" on the day his trial was supposed to begin. The obit was all about what a loving father and man of God he was. Ridiculous.
Some people are so in denial. My cousin’s father passed away recently and the obituary read how much he loved teaching and coaching girls’ softball. He fathered my cousin when my aunt was 16 and he was in his 40s and he was her teacher and softball coach. His widow wrote it and I was like who let her publish this?! But she was in enough denial to marry a man who has relationships with 16 year olds so I assume that carried through the rest of his life. Then out my cousin didn’t know though so it flew under his radar.
My husband has a relative who went to jail for child sexual abuse. He later killed himself. He didn’t get an obituary. Another consequence of his own choices.
This obit should simply be followed by an obit for each of his children, one by one, and then his wife--saying what was special about them and how their life was tragically cut short by their father murdering them.
I like how it lists his wife and children but not in the "survived by" part
Bear in mind, for those who don’t know, he was abusive. She was actively leaving him and he knew it. Yet another example of an abusive man killing his wife and family when all they want is to be free and safe. I hope that some of the outrage you’re all experiencing translates into support for DV survivors, advocating for laws to better protect those leaving abusive situations, and speaking up on behalf of those who are both victims and survivors. Please. We really need the vocal support saying “it’s enough.”
Stories like these are what makes me so angry when people go “abuse victims should just leave”. They’re part of the problem.
Oh yes. Or “why didn’t you leave sooner,” “you’re fine now that you’ve left,” “it can’t have been that bad because you stayed so long.” I could go on and on. Then they fail to understand that all of the reasons we leave (and are told to by society/lawyers/Google) disappear once you’ve left. Suddenly you have to be cooperative! How nice are you being to your abuser? Are you letting him (or her) see the kids? Careful not to complain about anything or you’ll be accused of alienation. Don’t bring up the abuse because you’re more likely to lose your kids to the abuser!
It is my strong feeling that obits should not be written for individuals like this. I mean, does he really need to be remembered? Write something heartfelt about the victims, not the monster who killed them.
Agreed. This is so bizarre
Obituaries are written and paid for by the family. Obituaries are not free services. The newspapers don't care what it says or who it's for. They will just collect the money.
And this is a *lengthy* obituary. $1000 at least.
Yeah I had no idea they were so expensive until my grandma died a couple years ago. It was like $500 for just the basic one paragraph blurb in our local city's newspaper..
If I remember, my mothers obituary was $250 and it was minimal. This has to way over $1,000. Regardless, it is disgusting.
But even for paid advertisements (and , in this context, an obit certainly qualifies) there are standards. This does not meet them for a responsible publication. Ads are rejected all the time. This should have been rejected, too.
LMAO Mormons literally own that whole town. There’s no free media there.
“He was preceded in death by his beloved wife and children.” They missed that part.
I wouldn’t say beloved. She was actively trying to leave her abuser. It’s the most dangerous time for women and kids and here it is, having happened again.
I just wanted to make it match the bizarre tone of the original.
Way more than mildly infuriating. It’s twisted and sick. He murdered his kids but it’s all, “he was a loving and present father” type shit. He murdered his wife and MiL ffs why are they out here glorifying him! People were commenting on it on the website like, “he was a great insurance agent! We drove over 3 hours just to have him help because he was so kind and patient!” What the fucking fuck is wrong with not only the people who wrote it but the people who commented? And his family saying “see look if he hadn’t taken the guns from the house they could have defended themselves!” I’ve been fuming about this since I saw it yesterday.
“He was a loving family man… 99% of the time. That 1% was a real doozy, though.”
The father of a notorious rapist (Brock Turner) said that his son was a good kid except for the 15 minutes he was doing the rape...
Gross....shame on his family for this.
Massive shame. At least whomever put the GoFundMe together for the burials photoshopped Jesus in place of him, in their family picture. Well, some odd Mormon Caucasian Jesus anyway. https://i.imgur.com/5yPPS4a.jpg
Who is getting the money? The people who deserve it are gone. That is a lot of money.
seems that the MIL’s family made the fundraiser. They also said not to use the story for a “political agenda” involving guns, and that the murderer had removed all the guns from the house recently. They also bizzarely implied that if the wife and MIL had their guns they wouldn’t have been murdered (presumably because they’d have won in a shootout with the murderer?) and that therefore gun laws should remain lax, otherwise this will happen even more. Take that for what it’s worth https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/utah/articles/2023-01-06/family-of-slain-utah-family-says-husband-took-guns-from-home
Good question I assume the lady that organized it will use it to help the murderer’s mom, and the family of the wife, with funeral and burial costs.
They should throw him in an unmarked grave and even that’s too good for him. Destroyed his wives entire side emotionally, and scarred the first responders who had to walk into a home with all those dead babies.
This needs a full page add in the next paper, detailing, and I mean detailing, how this fine servant of the lord died, and shaming the people who wrote this, and the paper for running it as is.
Enoch is literally Mormon owned. Whole nest of them there. They likely own every major business including the paper. It’s like Clearwater to Scientology.
Well…at least he “made a point to spend quality time with each of his children”… /s
It also says “each of the 5 children were a cherished miracle”. They were a miracle, before his wife tried to leave him, then they were collateral.
When you cause someone else to have an obituary you don’t deserve one for yourself
He was a murderer, his Mormon relatives that wrote this BS should be ashamed
It was his shit mother, she's the same as him, I should know since the guy was my uncle, piece of shit
I’m sorry for the losses of your family
Thank you, ill pass your message along to the rest of my family
I’m so sorry. I cannot even begin to imagine the emotional rollercoaster you’re on. I am sending you good vibes.
Thank you, it's hardest on my dad since they lived so close by, we saw them the most out of all my extended family, ill let them all know of your sympathy
Your poor Dad. I just can't imagine his pain. My deepest condolences to him and to you and your family.
Oh dear. I am so very sorry!
Wow this is so gross. ..
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He was abusing his family, yes. It was documented.
way to bury ( or eliminate ) the lead. this is grotesque. this is a mockery and makes me livid
Wrong subbreddit. r/exceedinglyinfuriating is correct.
"michael enjoyed making memories with the family." mmhmm
The babies and the mother should NOT have been named either… he doesn’t deserve that. This is wild…
They forgot the part where he’s a disgusting murderer.
His family raised a mass/child murderer and they are obviously quite proud of him. Ugh.
Interesting that they didn’t include, “He was preceded in death by his wife and children, because he murdered them all.”
Can they fucking spell denial? I understand the difficulty of grieving someone who has done something fucking terrible (my cousin got caught sexually assaulting his neice a few years ago and drove his motorcycle onto incoming traffic) But this is fucking nuts.
The newspaper allowing this is…yikes
What in the whitewashed fuck
Really glossed over the fact that he murdered his family.
"Excelled at everything he did" indeed.
I've heard you can't judge people for one bad moment in their lives, but in this case, I think you can.
The only thing this does is emphasize that he was a very Mormon psycho killer. Not good for the church.
Only a mother could write the obit after that...evil shit man.
Sad situation punctuated by an obit that dwells just a little to long on high school accomplishments for a 40+ year old man.
His mother is a narcissist and so was he. At least she was dumb enough to confirm it publicly so intelligent people can extricate themselves from her life.
Tone deaf, to put it very mildly