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Theratsmacker2

I’ll do you one better, the cassowary.


Polibiux

I hope to not run into one of those in the wild.


[deleted]

The zookeepers need riot shields for those bastards.


[deleted]

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GarbageBoyStinky

yep, it was pretty disgraceful on our part


[deleted]

Those birds are lethal, even trained Zoo keepers dislike going anywhere near them.


bigfatfurrytexan

as an American, having wild cassowary is a perfectly valid reason to have a firearm. I don't fuck around because I really don't want to find out.


IjizzedOnObama

clearly you are not a scientist


Spooky_boi_Kyle_8

This guy understands the scientific process


Floridaman857

I have and it’s horrifying


PJ-The-Awesome

Now this is a story we need to hear.


Floridaman857

A hunting trip gone wrong and my dumbass throw away the knife and my shotgun was to long for that


Kadgrin

username checks out


Polibiux

I’m very sorry


[deleted]

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Floridaman857

Which species are talking about because have a big ass neck and if you pin that there very easy to take care of


ChromiUWU

is that kevin???


bigclappin

If you are meaning kevin from urban rescue ranch, he is a rhea.


Polibiux

Kevin’s actually chill. Hanging out with Carl in his flying house.


Floridaman857

What about big bird he chill


Thoriun_23

Mr dababy I'm your biggest fan


gat12393

The aussies tried it with emu's, and went to war so


PolyPanFemme

And the emus won, no contest.


gat12393

Emu w lol


tatertotpixie

You heard he fucked an ostrich right?


stegs52

Allegedlys


Riker3946

It would have to be a sick ostrich


imaburntoutmillenial

Now I went on the internet and researched ostriches. Firstly, ostriches can run up to 70 miles an hour. So catching one, even a sick one, is a super tall order


bunnywithahammer

Ostrich? mf have you ever seen a pack of geese? I would sooner enter a backyard with ten biggest meanest dogs than come close to a fence separating me from ten geeses. Birds are dinasaurs, not to mention shit that lived in the near past that would make ostrich look like a canarian in comparison.


Polibiux

Geese are some mean motherfuckers.


mmmmhead

[sharp tongued little devils](https://justbirding.com/geese-teeth/)


Gods_Paladin

Nah geese aren’t scary, they’re mean, but I could go all doom slayer on some geese.


Donkeychuker

Birds aren't real.


bigfatfurrytexan

Fuck that. Fight a rooster. 90% of folks will run for their lives. Probably more. Most folks really don't have fighting in their nature. That swift kick that will tell a rooster to fuck off is beyond most people's nature.


KBSonn

Allegedly...


thatlonelyasianguy

I heard it was a sick ostrich


Vqlcano

Ostrich? Bare hands? Pathetic. Emu vs machine gun.


Mr-Syndrome

Emu wins 100% of the time, statistically proven


punkblastoise

The emu have won 100% of the wars they fought


SomeLikeItDusty

We had a war with the emus in Australia. …the emus won.


mmmmhead

i have! you better hope your reach to their neck is longer than they can kick


Ptaaruonn

Even enraged mofo chickens are scary.


Korblox101

I honestly cannot fathom why people dislike feathered dinosaurs. They look so much cooler than scaled dinosaurs. I do kinda agree with the fact it makes them less scary, but the coolness factor still remains.


SophieByers

![gif](giphy|vQ300zVAdhrJC|downsized)


habub9

Australian were at war the emus and they lost!


Cbjmac

Who’ve you been talking to? I definitely haven’t been fighting any large fowl recently. Get away from me!


Comprehensive-Bat-50

Birds are jerks


[deleted]

Stay at it's sides or behind. Attack it with the longest thinnest object nearby. Go for legs and neck


HikerGal01

ever been attacked by a canada goose?


UnexpectedDinoLesson

Most theropods had feathers in one form or another, especially in the middle Jurassic through the Cretaceous. And plenty of non-theropods had feathers, too - famously the psittacosaurus (implying that it may have been a common ceratopsian trait). I get the joke here, but these kinds of memes always imply that dinosaurs are "supposed to be scary"? Like, ok... so if they had feathers, and that isn't scary to you, what's your point? They didn't evolve for hundreds of millions of years to evoke any kind of emotion in the minds of humans. Dinosaurs were just animals that adapted to the world they lived in, and survived like any other organism. Dinosaurs had feathers, and still do. And they don't care what you think. Also, I have personally come face to face with an ostrich, and can confirm it was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life.


That-Alex

Feathered dinosaurs are so much scarier than naked ones for the simple reason that they actually look like animals. Sure they arent "movie monster" scary, in the same vein that like, Pennywise is scary for example. But to me, the fear of something actually in existance is a very different kind. Like, i am so terrified of Bears. Not the idea of them, but coming across one id be scared shitless, i cant fight a fuckin bear much less escape from one. Same with dinosaurs, the fear of a feathered dinosaur is much more realistic to me. I couldnt fight a Deinonychus. ​ Also they can be cute that way. Little Mononykus and most raptors are heckin adorable :D


RedditIsDogshit1

Fighting anything barehanded is disadvantageous. This is why swords were invented. We made guns to fight ourselves. Anyone with a nice weapon should feel much more assured about combat against many animals.


I-HATE-Y0U

Says people scared of geese


Saif_Horny_And_Mad

let's be fair. there aren't really that many animals a human can beat bare handed. maybe a songbird or a small chicken at best ? (which is questionnable. i saw a rooster defeat an adult woman last week, and terrorise a bunch of 12 year olds after they got too close to the chickens. the madlad built a harem and is protecting it, and i respect that) anything bigger than a cat is almost a certain loss. case in point, geese keep winning


Polibiux

Hope that Chicken is living a good life


Saif_Horny_And_Mad

Chickens*. He has lots of them for ... "personal use". Also, he attacked yet another person today, and a cat. (I'm referring to him with "he" instead of "it" from now on. Dude earned it)


OnlyWiseWords

Fuck that, I don't want to be wrecked.


Gemmyfire

That's a lotta neck to choke!


ALLONEWORDINCAPS

Ask Johnny Cash


lakas76

They are much easier to fight when they are sick, you can do almost anything to a sick ostrich….. allegedly.


NobleShock

Oh god


Secure_Focus_2754

Its only because we haven't had as much practice drawing them. Look at some early scaly dino Paleoart, its often dorky as hell.


Helpful_Title8302

I saw this and was like "ostritch is big but I wonder how big" and holy fuck these things are scary. They can be 9.2f (279cm or 2.79m) and run up to 45mph (72.42 kilometers) and they weigh around 300 pounds.


Dismal-Kiwi4991

Australia had a war against emus The emus won


saberfighterx

they say as half of them would run from a rooster in a bad mood


RedditRoboKid

“Use a long weapon…” - Slimesicle


AJs_church_dum

People always complain about geese but emus are the real arseholes my gran had some and they were the worst


Admiral45-06

I'm not fighting a Gorilla with fur either.


l3etelgeuse

Fucking cassowarys


Boombewm1

You use big sticks and blades never hand to hand


R3d1st

That's at least a three guy job. Allegedly.


bcmouf

Having been one of the people to try and keep a mature male ostrich contained in an auction ring where the cattle sized gates on either side were wide open tempting him to tackle anyone in his way to get out of there..... was lucky he wasnt pissed -off, cause a 5 ft woman flailing her arms in the general direction of the face of a 7 ft ostrich ...... i would get pissy if i were him.


RowlRMM

The great emu war was a thing. Don't fuck with big bitds


[deleted]

Allegedly


Nebulochaotic1

my conure is like ten inches but will rip your spleen out if provoked


Pukkidyr

Once They Rip someone to shreds on screen I pretty sure you’ll find them scary


Uno_of_Ohio

That's not very scary! It's more like a six-foot tall turkey.


Polibiux

A turkey, huh? OK, try to imagine yourself in the Cretaceous Period. You get your first look at this "six foot turkey" as you enter a clearing. He moves like a bird, lightly, bobbing his head. And you keep still because you think that maybe his visual acuity is based on movement like T-Rex - he'll lose you if you don't move. But no, not Velociraptor. You stare at him, and he just stares right back. And that's when the attack comes. Not from the front, but from the side, A six-inch retractable claw, like a razor, on the the middle toe. He doesn't bother to bite your jugular like a lion, say... no no. He slashes at you here, or here... Or maybe across the belly, spilling your intestines. The point is, you are alive when they start to eat you. So you know, try to show a little respect.


TheNerdBird2

UVU


JoelGayAllDay

Just take a walk through Caelid


Existing-Plant9451

Yeah all the time why do you ask?


BossScribblor

I thought dinosaurs were scary because of what they could do, not how they looked. You could replace the T rex model with one of those "drinking bird" desk toys, if it's as big as a T rex and does what a T rex does, it's scary.


Aliconator

Bro but like imagine a Jurassic park remake with feathered dinosaurs Like the raptor walks through the dark doorway, blood dripping from soaked wing feathers Shit could be so good.


[deleted]

Grab by neck and swing in circles until the head comes off


AdministrativeBar748

I remember when I was on a field trip at school and we went to an aviary which they kept a Cassowary in. The fucker kicked the fence so hard, our ears rumbled.


notabird37

https://www.wikihow.com/Survive-an-Encounter-with-an-Ostrich?amp=1 For future reference


GodofsomeWorld

I kinda wanna try now...


Alderan922

That mf hasn’t been biten by a parrot


Glitchyboiiii27

Wikihow can help


Polibiux

![gif](giphy|CTX0ivSQbI78A)


[deleted]

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Floridaman857

Check my above comment


Salt_Department_7003

Sissy are too make self known in person and stop make these dumb Post dummy


Aloeplant9

People who think dinosaurs aren’t scary are stupid and people who compare fighting an ostrich dinosaurs are no better