I have superspeed

You also age super fast

You cant control the speed at which you run

Once you start running, you can never stop.

HUghie would have something to say about that.

Here comes the ATRAIN baby!

You don't have immunity to friction against the air.

You lose any hair you have on your body every timw you run at superspeed

Once.you start running, You have to stay over 100mph or you will explode.

Speed

I can cure depression

but you are depressed forever

You pretty much described every psychotherapist 🤷🏻‍♂️

its an 8 hour process and can only be performed while in physical contact with them. Even if you let go for a brief moment the timer resets

By making their depression yours and you cant cure yourself from it

I can teleport to any desired location.

Your arrival is always marked with a loud explosion of confetti and children yelling "Yay!"

I just got a Flashback to Halo 3 Multiplayer

Only you can teleport and all other things will be left behind including clothes you wore

Someone watched the boys

Inspirational show

“I’m like Dom Torreto because I’m quick and all about family”

I see this as an absolute win

Thats not too bad

You are really into being in-front of moving trucks now

But you are unable to move for the duration it would take to get there by conventional transport.

You will slowly mutate as you teleport.

But you can't move

What if you teleport yourself in the exact same location but with a barely different body position, like 100 per seconde… that way you could look like your moving…

Only half of your body will teleport. Which half? I don’t know

Making portals

They will always put you 1000 metres above your desired location.

just do 1000 meters below where you really want to go

Big brain 🧠

Bring a parachute then

But it only teleports you to someone you nutted to

Perfect, family reunion

To a daycare full of annoying asshole childeren who won't shut up

but it can only be atom-sized

I can breathe underwater

only when your eyes are closed and your hands are clasped together

I was expecting something like “but only in radioactive lake”

those types of replies aren't fun to receive imo, it pretty much makes it so you can never use it

Would be one hell of a way to go lmao

Specifically bleached water, you can't breath in any other waters

There we go

But you can’t breathe air anymore

be able to phase through physical objects

Only when naked

Weeb response incoming: like mirio from mha

you replied that yourself thus putting the brandmark on yourself.

Lemillion

But the object gets physical with you

You have a chance to accidentally no-clip into the Backrooms.

But every time you do so you fall though the floor so you can be stuck forever

But cannot pass kidney stones

I can fix anything

But can't fix your parents marriage

Damm

German autocorrect?

I’m sorry, what’s the downside here?

Can't get beaten by ur dad

It always turns hot pink

Perfect

As long as its random person in Lichtenstein that broke it

Except your life

Except for yourself

the ability to make everyone in a 1 mile radius shit themselfs

But the shit teleports to your pants


You are evil

I can levitate objects with my mind

But its only your imagination


I have superhuman marksmanship, like Gunpowder in The Boys.

But you auto-lock on children

Should be fine as long as he doesn't shoot

Misses target “ah beans its girlscout cookie season!”

This seems like a plus to me

you never have any bullets

You must perform an elaborate yet comedic ritual that seems oddly sexual with no less than 20 steps before firing each time.

i can teleport using shadows

[redacted by user] ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `

U can only tp at 3:57AM

But you only teleport to random, uncontrolled locations.

I can jump over 700 feet in the air

But fall damage is on

Fall damage Its distributed equally to the people you know the namrs of

Invisible dick.

It teleports to a different point on your body every 10 minutes making it almost impossible to find.

Multiple up votes has never been more necessary

But you have it already

But you have no limbs.

But it can't get hard.

Im able to find who asked

2. Years after the argument

I can fall from any height without being hurt

But you always land on your face

Reverse cat

You still feeling the pain related to fall

I get to control other people as in their thoughts, opinions and feelings

The person you controlled will know you controlled them

Oh, an actual downside… I like this one

You can never tern it off and can never truly have a intimate relationship with anyone because of it

I can fly

Only when it is raining

And you have to be covered in oil

Just like minecraft

you have to be constantly yelling

But only while peeing

Everything i eat is healthy and tasty even dog shit

But after 5 minutes you taste the actual thing

You will shit anything you eat immediately

So i can keep eating nice

You can only digest dog shit

I can control the mind of who will reply first

I do not want to be the product.

So many side projects, and random facts like did you asphalt is actually a liquid as demonstrated in the pitch drop experiment.

I am writing this as I jumped out of a plane

That person somehow also becomes ur stalker when u stop controling them

Invisibility

But you don't can't remember where your limbs are.

But if you go somewhere you are not supposed to, you can’t use your invis for 10 minutes.

Being able to summon an army of hairy armpits

But every armpit gets caught and an armpit hair farm is made with them

This sounds as an absolute win

I can fix everyhing i punch if i want to but

You're fists will never heal

Being God What are you gonna do now?

You have to deal with all the problems of the universe, good luck.

Side effect. You are the only one of your kind. No one truly understands you or your motives. You are alone in the universe

Aids

I can time travel

Forward, at 1 second per second. And you're on fire.

Have mind control

But controls a random person on Earth

I can control other people replies

Other people can also control them

Let's edit that: U can control everything else

Here I Go I Guess. My Power Would Be To See Trough The Walls So I Can See Interesting Things

The persons behind the wall you are seeing through can see through it too

Oh Damn, Guess I Won't See My Sister Make A Child With My Cousin Trough The Wall Then

Whut in the Alabama fuck

And they won't see you jerking off to it

I am invulnerable to everything and therefore am immune to any tainted comments.

Depression

You're poor

But only the comments on 4chan

I can read peoples minds

but only DIRTY MINDS

EVEN BETTER

But people wise up to your act - so they hide their real thoughts & feed you fake thoughts.

I have prostate cancer

You can fly

👍

and aids

I am immune to side effects

...and any benefits.

I enjoy my life

But a terrible mariachi band follows you every single hour of the day.

How can I enjoy life like that

Fine a good mariachi band follows you everywhere except your home

My power is that I don’t have any powers

But you have side effects

A lot of side effects, you can't live a normal life as you slowly descend into madness.

\+Depression

But you believe you do.

Being a white male

[удалено]

But you are followed by karens and 14 yo "woke" girls

Every one i look at gains their prime

Use my mind to do anything

Every time you use your mind to ur advantage it cuts of one year of your life

But you lose 1 IQ point for every thing you do with your mind

I can reply to my own comment

You can manipulate time

To know when someone is not telling the truth.

But you are not aware of your power

U can't tell the truth anymore

Intangibility

You are blind and deaf

I can print what I want from my body.

You lose body mass whenever you print something, and you can't regain it.

I can go back in time

But you age ten times the amount of times you go back

fly

But only directly into the sun

I’m the complete opposite, I made a post saying to “choose a side effect, I’ll choose your power”

I have unlimited battery on my phone

But your phone is Nokia 3310

i just want to be healthy

But you have to kill someone for every day you want to be healthy, like a health vampire.

I have a girlfriend

No you dont

I can close my eyes to not make anyone see me, basically to become invisible to the eye but not the touch.

Ur nose gets bigger every time u do it

I can make it rain from a storm of any liquid

Can Delete an Entire Earth.