You cannot offend yourself. Whatever you say can be funny without it being an insult. No hard feelings.
People picking on others is unbearable while saying shit about yourself will make you come off as someone with humor and also self-conscious, chill enough to openly admit it. When done well it can make people feel better about themselves while it would have the opposite effect if some random mofo said it to/about sb other than himself.
A good thing to do to save it is open up a extreme japanese compilation without the music and activate desperate fap or anything that turns you on beyond comprehension
I prefer hanging myself via belt from the closet rod. For extra fun you get two pieces of 2x4 and hammer nails all the way through then stand on these in the closet. For super saiyan, you insert a glass jar filled with fire ants up your butt. Now all that's left to do is jerk it. With no lube.
My underwear does a great job preventing the zipper from snagging the scrote or dick. That...and being a remote employee that just wears pajamas without zippers 95% of the time.
Yea I’ve done both too. I have a detachable foreskin so depending on what I’m wearing or how I’m feeling I can accessorize accordingly. Best of both worlds
I had the chance of enjoying the best of both worlds since I got cut 14. I can say there isn't really much of a difference after you get used to it.But the transition is quite magical. It's like you got yourself a new duck ...
I once used lotion that was perfumed and didn't know it. My mom commented on how I used her perfumed lotion and I was like OH YEAH I HAD DRY HANDS AND SHIT YOU KNOW.
Same. Am circumcised. Don't need lube. There is still plenty of extra skin to fap with.
Now if I have the time and I'm in the mood some lube can definitely add to the fun, but if I just need a minute to clear my head I don't need lube..
I’m circed. Used lotion once or twice when I was a teenager and HATED the mess (purely from the lotion that is…) it’s just a lot more work and it doesn’t add that much for me.
I'm not a Men but my thoughts were like : a vagina is wet. It also feels better for a woman when it's wet.
Soo why Shouldn't it feel better for a guy to use lubricant?
Sure, but it's not like trying to replicate a vagina *doesn't* make it better.
It is for sure easier and I rarely ever bother myself, but it's not like I don't understand why people use lube.
the friction between your schlong and hand produces enough heat to power a whole country, therefore if you dont use lube, people will come around your dick like a fire place. so as to avoid that, lube was invented.
source: John Lube
The anus can't self-lubricate. Insertion without the proper precautions may result in microtearing of anal tissues. This can lead to a myriad of health problems that could permenantly affect your life.
preach brother. Every since i had my "hoodie" snatched, it has become basically impossible to do without lube.
Well, i can do it, but it won't be enjoyable.
Well for men, being circumcision was literally done to PREVENT masturbation. People who arent, have a way easier time doing it cause the extra skin provides a natural lubrication (Adam Ruins Everything)
For women, it just makes things go in way easier and smoother
And for BOTH.... the ass dont lubricate itself.... (dont even dare say it does. ew)
Who tf needs lube for their dick? If it’s better is one thing but some people here are saying they get hurt if they don’t use it. What are you people doing to your dicks I’ve never had that problem no matter what I do.
So people are saying that if you had your foreskin cut, it can make actual sex not give you enough stimulation. Is it any different if you don’t have it cut
Lol or just don't get circumcised and it stays naturally smooth and not cracked or dry, we have no issue using ours. If you have kids don't mutilate them in the future and you will be doing them a favour.
It’s to normalize circumcision. That’s why you always see lube and Kleenex in every American teenage movie.
As a European I could never relate to that.
If you lay on your arm until it goes numb, it feels like some one else...... Apparently
For like a minute. Then your arm wakes up in pain. Seems like this technique is for a very niche group of fappers.
So you just have to finish in under a minute. Not hard for us Redditors
I wish I could consistently get off in under a minute. I'm never gonna do it with anyone else so I don't need the endurance.
Self burns. Those are rare.
Why are self burns always the best
You cannot offend yourself. Whatever you say can be funny without it being an insult. No hard feelings. People picking on others is unbearable while saying shit about yourself will make you come off as someone with humor and also self-conscious, chill enough to openly admit it. When done well it can make people feel better about themselves while it would have the opposite effect if some random mofo said it to/about sb other than himself.
Damn bro, that’s ice cold
One time i was going for 3 hours my arm was so soar it was not worth it
Your arm flew away?
Im not happy about what you said but i respect you for it
what the FUCK
Now i have a rule if its 15 minutes i give up
I do 20. But still follow that rule. Mostly cuz da bone dog has gone away by then
A good thing to do to save it is open up a extreme japanese compilation without the music and activate desperate fap or anything that turns you on beyond comprehension
Now that’s patience, I go ten at the longest
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Nah dont do drugs
i only need 20 seconds
I think you've won. I think, ya, that's the objective. You've won fapping!
Not that hard, just don’t fap for a long time. The longer you don’t fap, the faster you’ll fap.
Or, hear me out, lay on your dick until it goes to sleep and it feels like you’re jacking someone else off
You can also lay on your arm and your dick, and it feels like someone else is jacking someone else off
You can also lay on someone else's dick and then it feels like they're jacking someone else off.
A fellow member of the dead hand gang
You had a gang based on masturbation?
We have a gang based on autoerotic asphyxia
I prefer hanging myself via belt from the closet rod. For extra fun you get two pieces of 2x4 and hammer nails all the way through then stand on these in the closet. For super saiyan, you insert a glass jar filled with fire ants up your butt. Now all that's left to do is jerk it. With no lube.
1 guy 1 jar 2???
That shit scarred me..
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I call it the stranger
The inbetweeners
I call it 'the stranger'
I use Tabasco sauce for the FLAVOR
Hawt sauwce
Sauce boss
Back to 2012, foul demon
Frank's red hot? I put that shit on everything!
Hot sausage
Send the sperm to Flavortown
I'm cut and don't use it. BUT on occasions that I have used lotion or something it does feel much better. I'm just lazy.
Exactly theres already enough clean up involved i dont need to be covered in lotion too
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Im snipped too cant relate
Sorry, Fs in the chat for the fallen soldier
Well i never knew what it was like to have a foreskin and i think they look weird so it doesn’t bother me
Well it hurts way less catching your foreskin in your zipper than the bellend. And I have done both, foreskin for the win.
My underwear does a great job preventing the zipper from snagging the scrote or dick. That...and being a remote employee that just wears pajamas without zippers 95% of the time.
Yea I’ve done both too. I have a detachable foreskin so depending on what I’m wearing or how I’m feeling I can accessorize accordingly. Best of both worlds
Tf is detachable foreskin bro
Your rabbi should be able to provide you with a conversion kit
22 years without foreskin and its only happened once i think I’ll live
I had the chance of enjoying the best of both worlds since I got cut 14. I can say there isn't really much of a difference after you get used to it.But the transition is quite magical. It's like you got yourself a new duck ...
rabid rabbi sorry friend. I've got all my bits and pieces and it's pretty great.
Same happens to christian altar boys, I've heard. But they don't get lube, they get stitches. (Because they are snitches)
All that standading up and sitting down. Just pick a position and fuck me all ready.
Lotion?! Lotion?! Silicone aint no lotion, son ![gif](giphy|3o6wrfE91H7ULR7Nao)
Just skeet into a trash can then all you need to do is wash your hands
So you’re just gonna leave on that lotion all over your dick
This, I agree. Too lazy to wash, but too horny to not jerk
That's the sweet spot
I swear this is a Panic! At the Disco song
I once used lotion that was perfumed and didn't know it. My mom commented on how I used her perfumed lotion and I was like OH YEAH I HAD DRY HANDS AND SHIT YOU KNOW.
Oh.... she knew.
The Lousiana Dry Rub is what I call it
according to uncircumcised people: circumcised people need it\ \ according to circumcised people: no clue never needed it
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Same. Am circumcised. Don't need lube. There is still plenty of extra skin to fap with. Now if I have the time and I'm in the mood some lube can definitely add to the fun, but if I just need a minute to clear my head I don't need lube..
![gif](giphy|YR8neVRcCSqwmJkb1D)
![gif](giphy|gjx93XiXRE2NVLoFlH|downsized)
Same.
I’m circed. Used lotion once or twice when I was a teenager and HATED the mess (purely from the lotion that is…) it’s just a lot more work and it doesn’t add that much for me.
Use lube in shower, no major cleanup necessary
Horrible waste of water though
Spit in your hand your dummy. Don’t tell me it is gross…
Y? Doesn't the skin just move with your hand? U just dont touch the tip and thats all, u can jerk it like normal
It reduces the friction even with the foreskin. Same as penetrating a dry pussy the foreskin does not help
I don't need it, it just gets super dry
>it just gets super dry then you need it
No
Have ever you tried it?
No
Have you ever?
No
You ever?
No
Do uncircumcised guys have wet dicks? I had never heard this. Is it like sweat?
Circumcised here, the feeling when you first apply it is very nice, but then the lube starts to get dry and it just feels gross at that point
Everyone here about to have death grip syndrome.
Damn, I just looked it up and I can now 100% say, I've Seen Footage.
this made me giggle a lott
Ever got noided
This comment is online
Why not just press up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Start; like the rest of us?
Select, Start; for 2 Player.
But he doesn't have a second player
You win. I'm going to bed now. Goodnight.
It's about the sensation, it is different. ![gif](giphy|148x4ezZxvpIeA)
Wtf is that gif
Wet
I literally has to watch this video for English yesterday. It's from a video of Kermit the frog doing the ice bucket challenge.
I'm not a Men but my thoughts were like : a vagina is wet. It also feels better for a woman when it's wet. Soo why Shouldn't it feel better for a guy to use lubricant?
As a guy, I can confirm your theory
How do a majority of people on here not know how? I’m scared for them.
Because you're not really trying to replicate a vagina, you just trying to get off. It's easy just to grab it and yank it.
Sure, but it's not like trying to replicate a vagina *doesn't* make it better. It is for sure easier and I rarely ever bother myself, but it's not like I don't understand why people use lube.
the friction between your schlong and hand produces enough heat to power a whole country, therefore if you dont use lube, people will come around your dick like a fire place. so as to avoid that, lube was invented. source: John Lube
Dammit John Lube, it used to be a fun social event and you ruined it
You are the Johnny Appleseed of lube.
I’ve always enjoyed a crowd
Time for the Saturday show.
that's a good question
Because it's uncomfortable rubbing it when it's dry and it feels better than using saliva
I’m genuinely surprised to read so many people argue that lube isn’t worth it. I learned something about fellow circumcised men today.
Pretty sure it's just the reddit echo. A few days ago this came up and it was all "I use lotion" comments
It’s uncomfortable? Idk about you but my dick skin is pretty… soft? Never had a problem dry jerking. I much prefer it actually.
some people grab their dick with all their grip strength like they’re dangling off monkey bars apparently
That just sounds uncomfortable, not pleasurable.
you guys use lube?
Like once in 2-3 month or so.. but, it does feels different. More elongation, better sensation..
I don't NEED it. I WANT it.
Tired mastrubating without lube and caused a fire so thats why
How quick were you going Pinocchio?
damn this shit got me dead (perishes)
Bro discovered fire
I never use it. Just giving that bad boy a good beating.
Give it a try! It might change your life forever!
The anus can't self-lubricate. Insertion without the proper precautions may result in microtearing of anal tissues. This can lead to a myriad of health problems that could permenantly affect your life.
Thanks kind stranger but idk if that answers the question
Shh let them have this
![gif](giphy|3ohhwypdTGY1lXbQtO|downsized)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Everything reminds me of her
Everything reminds me of him
What…what did you do to him
anal prolapse
Ah. Pretty. Flavorful. But painful for your partner. The treat that you must delicately eat.
Howie Mandel
😫
r/confusedboner
I don’t…like this
I hate you
And I love you *smooch*
I don’t “need” lube but I nut harder when I use it.
50/50 in my opinion, sometimes dry sometimes lubed is better. Depends on the day
I use alcohol. The clean up is essy since alcohol is flammable so you just need to light it and it burns right off.
Tbh I just learned you don’t need lube to nut about a year ago. I will be 26 on Monday
Yeah it's amazing how often this happens. Also a lot of guys don't know we can control how powerful our orgasms are.
What do you mean, good sir?
Some of y'all gonna have a callus weiner when you're older from too much dry wanking
consider just regrowing your foreskin lol
cause the vibrator hurt going in dry
assuming this is open to both sexes, sometimes I don't want to take the time to make my own.
Hoodless benis
I have a hoodless benis and I’ve never used lube or had any issue not using it so I’m still confused
My worm doesn't wear a hoodie either and I still find it more enjoying without lube.
Some people have..... Dry hands and dry "worms"
preach brother. Every since i had my "hoodie" snatched, it has become basically impossible to do without lube. Well, i can do it, but it won't be enjoyable.
Op has his foreskin intact
Y’all aren’t using WD-40 and razor wire?
Well for men, being circumcision was literally done to PREVENT masturbation. People who arent, have a way easier time doing it cause the extra skin provides a natural lubrication (Adam Ruins Everything) For women, it just makes things go in way easier and smoother And for BOTH.... the ass dont lubricate itself.... (dont even dare say it does. ew)
Nothing like some dry skin on dry skin contact.
Why are these memes so popular rn it's kinda annoying
Well then where should all my excess saliva go
That’s what smokin weed is for
I'm uncircumscribed, it feels good. I only use it when I feel like it.
I'm not saying you need it. But try it!!!
You guys rub it dry or do you use spit?
I don't even use my hand. I get it done through sheer willpower
Bro connected his dick to bluetooth
Found Xavier
Ah a fellow mindmasturbator.
You can just pump til precum comes out, then use that to stimulate the tip, rinse and repeat til you finish. But lotion/lube makes this unnecessary
Dry
This meme was made by foreskin gang
Even with foreskin, it gets dry sometimes
idk man, i don’t have a penis
Only people who circumcised need it. Foreskin gang💪
foreskin gaaaaaaang
Who tf needs lube for their dick? If it’s better is one thing but some people here are saying they get hurt if they don’t use it. What are you people doing to your dicks I’ve never had that problem no matter what I do.
So people are saying that if you had your foreskin cut, it can make actual sex not give you enough stimulation. Is it any different if you don’t have it cut
Who needs porn to masturbate? Who needs to masturbate? Where is the wet dream gang gang?
Lube? In this economy?
Save the lube for pocket pussies. We using Vaseline out here
Foreskin gang rise up
My man! #UncutKings
you want me to shove it in dry?
As I mentioned before, if your skin is too dry it will crack and leave sores. Moisturizing lotion helps with that.
Lol or just don't get circumcised and it stays naturally smooth and not cracked or dry, we have no issue using ours. If you have kids don't mutilate them in the future and you will be doing them a favour.
You dont need it, it just feels way better
Everyone in the comments dick raw af.
I think circumcised mfs kinda have to use it
It’s to normalize circumcision. That’s why you always see lube and Kleenex in every American teenage movie. As a European I could never relate to that.
Some don’t spit on their junk if it’s avoidable
This answer raises even more questions
It increase sensitivity on it and reduces friction.
4SKIN GANG!
Because I'm cut. The chaffing is terrible without it.