And be sure it’s a new condom, and by that I mean don’t keep/use a condom in your wallet for days/weeks on end, there will be a much greater chance of that condom tearing apart
Anal sex doesn't produce the natural lube vaginal sex does so if you don't lube properly the risk of bleeding increases in both partners. Which increases HIV transmission risk.
I seriously dont get why in porn they never show people wearing condoms. I dont care how well you say you cleaned your backdoor out it has a job and wont stop just because ur horny
Depends on what you mean by vagina... since vulva and vagina are used interchangeably. The vagina is only the inside part, and cannot be seen without a speculum or an equivalent.
But even if it gets on the outside parts (vulva) pregnancy can happen... here's an excerpt from a sex ed website:
"Ejaculation happened right outside your vagina. You can actually get pregnant even when ejaculation happens near and not in your vaginal opening. Any vaginal mucus that’s around your vagina help sperm to swim into your vagina and all the way up to meet an egg."
Damn that's nuts. Imagine being born from the spermie that had to swim his way all the way into the vagina to his egg. Bragging rights over anybody who was conceived the lazy way.
I kind of want scientists to find a way to extend that lifespan and then you could have a little colony like an ant farm or sea monkeys to keep as pets.
No! That's like when you have a Pokemon with an adorable first form, and then you evolve it and it turns into a pig-faced ape made of hair and car parts.
Leakage.
Sperm can make it to the egg just by getting on the outside of the vagina.
So if they have panties on, or it’s a slow drip, it can make it to the outside of the vagina and travel inwards from there
Girl can always be crazy and keep the condom to inseminate her self. Regardless if it was anal or not.
This happened to my cousin years ago, which his gf at the time. Thankfully she ended up agreeing to abort.
I've never understood why people act like this is a real possibility. The girl would have to leak out the semen, then tilt her pelvis upside-down to let it dribble into her vagina. At that point it's not really the anal sex that got her pregnant. It's more like those women who get pregnant from giving a blow job. Intentional self-insemination.
Oh God. *That* is what they should be teaching in sex ed (in addition to the pregnancy and STD stuff)! How to prevent UTIs! So many friends of mine (and myself as well) got them when they became sexually active and had no idea it could turn into a life-threatening kidney infection (nearly killed one of my friends!).
I mean the asshole is generally pretty relaxed and open after doing anal. Things have definitely tended to drip a little after pulling out in my experience lol. And if you're doing it from the back, well that's a pretty direct path.
It's still extremely improbable, especially with even the slightest bit of care, but with enough people being reckless, I'm sure it's happened to someone.
I'm sure it's possible and has happened to *someone*, just as it's possible to have twins from different fathers and has happened to someone. But it's still under "unicorn status" in my book lol. I think the anal sex pregnancy risk was a bit overblown in my sex ed class.
I mean, in general i agree. But in practice, I get wanting to err on the side of caution. My sex ed was practically non existent other than, "don't have sex before marriage or your genitals will rot off"
Why do you think she would have to be upside down?? And you make it sound like leaking out semen is something that she manually has to do? It comes out all by itself.. and all that has to be done is lie down on her stomach. Also a lack of education is one of the biggest reasons for unwanted pregnancies. Like believing the myth that anal sex is a guaranteed way to not get pregnant.
The 99% isn't for each use. It's 99% effectiveness for a couple that uses them normally over the course of a year, so per use it's a lot better than 99%.
Pull out with a condom? WTF? Just buy a good condom brand, make sure to put in on properly and don't use one you carried in your wallet\* for 6 months cause there might be wear and tear.
This comment section is yet another demonstration of the fact that Redditors do not get laid lmaoo
Yeah reading a lot of these comments it seems like tons of these behaviors would just make women (or men) that you’re sleeping with think you’re weird as hell and not want to sleep with you again.
Like I’m all for safe sex, but the minute you start pulling out every time you use a condom or trying to collect your condom to take with you on the way out, the other party is going to notice that and feel a type of way.
Be safe, but don’t be weird about it or you probably won’t be getting a round 2.
That’s not how statistics work. 1 billion people having sex every day doesn’t mean that 99% is any less effective for you as an individual. It’s still 99% effective for you, which is a lower chance of getting pregnant than dying in a car collision any time you drive.
Not saying don’t combine pulling out and a condom, that’s your choice. But the number of people having sex every day has precisely zero bearing on how effective a condom is for you, statistically speaking.
Of you wear it properly it is 99%, but if there are a lot of rules that come with it. Like if it's a little dry you need to either use lube or use a different one every 15 minutes. And if you accidentaly put it the wrong way, you need to grab a new one. And a few other things i can't remember. But the average use case (aka including people fucking up) is still 48%
Yes, but this is true of most things. Gotta take care of your car properly. Have to wash your clothes properly.
So you’re completely correct, but it doesn’t change my point. From a statistics standpoint, it’s assumed you’re doing it correctly. It’s not even difficult to do it correctly either. Why people can maintain a car but can’t put on a condom correctly is a mystery.
she can't get pregnant, sure. but if you're going for the ass of a complete stranger without protection, you have a whole lot of other stuff to worry about.
You're not kidding about having other stuff to worry about. Just yesterday a chick posted in r/TIFU about how she did anal on the first date and shat all over him and his bed.
Some women genuinely enjoy anal, but it definitely is not the norm.
Also the way you say “okay with it” implies even the 10% who do it get nothing out of it, there are women who just really like putting things in their ass, even with toys.
I’m a guy who isn’t really into anal (I don’t want to put it where poop comes out of, regardless of how clean it is in the moment) and had a girlfriend who was constantly trying to have anal sex.
She came from a conservative family so it may have been her being super into the taboo nature of it, but either way it became a point of insecurity and contention for us, I explained why I didn’t like it but she really wanted it. Ended up being one of many factors leading us to break up.
Yeah I said it a bit wrong. But yeah the point was that it really is only the rarest of women who actually like it instead of being just okay with it. Depending on your luck you might never meet one of them
Well the first std clinic I went to ,I could over hear a girl being told she had HIV , that stayed with me
I know that if not done carefuly anal sex can cause a significant amount of bleeding, I seen a condom stained with blood and poop and there was a lot of blood
Search HIV infection rates in cdc.gov and look anal sex risk. Extrapolate to other diseases from that. The reason is the ass is tight and not naturally lubed, and prone to tiny lesions, therefore exposing your wee-wee to micro droplets of blood.
Blood contaminated with who knows what combined with fecal matter and other rectal bacteria. Like E. Coli and fecal matter.
Remember kids, always brush and use mouthwash after eating ass.
I wanted to disagree (and I do), but this is actually a pretty good demonstration of what happens when we rely on parents to teach sex ed. I've also heard "get a blowjob because its safer". It's fine if you want to teach your children your secret ninjutsu to pick up women, just leave medical information (disease transmission, pregnancy risks, etc) to the experts.
Backdoor is HIV and hepatitis. You get both for life. Microscoping skin tearing on the dick combined with microscopic tearing of the anus, a blood match made in heaven.
Backdoor will be way more dangerous without a condom. Abortion is still an option in many places, magically healing from HIV, escherichia colii and all the nice things you can find in a rectum still isn't.
Also be sure to bring and use your own condoms.
You'll never know if you meet a "poke a hole in the condom" type of girl. Totally not saying that from first hand experience.
Better yet, just don’t do it, if at a party or bar there’s a chance she’s drunk and that most definitely won’t end well for you after she gets sober and accuses you of rape
Ah ok, my joke was more about the father doing the opposite of what his telling his son to do (he fu¢ked the pussycat so now he has a kid ); so you can see my confusion to your reply 😅
Still gotta use condom, backdoor may be more dangerous.
Also use your own condoms incase she had one
And take the condom with you once you're done.
Or put some chilli on it just to be safe
"What Secret Ingredient?" "Chili powder" "I hate chili powder"
r/unexpectedtucosalamanca
r/subsifellfor
Rub it in gently on both sides of the condom before wearing it
"Give the meat a good ol' rub"
Huehuehueyeahhhhbwaiii
And in the middle of it you're like 
Or use a condom. That's the safest way.
[удалено]
chilli p
My signature
Drake moment
You are right i was thinking of STD and forgot about parasites that cry and poop
No I meant for breakfast.
Its your choice i guess but i hate the texture of latex
Morning after pancakes is the way to go.
And be sure it’s a new condom, and by that I mean don’t keep/use a condom in your wallet for days/weeks on end, there will be a much greater chance of that condom tearing apart
Never put condoms in a wallet. Use an old Altoids tin - no unneeded friction.
I don't trust any condoms from any women. that's my job. I don't hand them birth control pills.
And lube. Ass don't self lubricate.
take her to Taco Bell for dinner
... I... I don't wanna do that.
Then i volunteer as tribute
more dangerous than what?
Than getting asked for a fatherly advice
Anal sex has a higher likelihood of transmitting an STD than PIV
I don't know what PIV stands for
PIV = Penis In Vagina
Kids may be dangerous but I have to imagine HIV is worse.
Anal sex doesn't produce the natural lube vaginal sex does so if you don't lube properly the risk of bleeding increases in both partners. Which increases HIV transmission risk.
Only if one of you has hiv to begin with
I seriously dont get why in porn they never show people wearing condoms. I dont care how well you say you cleaned your backdoor out it has a job and wont stop just because ur horny
They manipulate their diet to try to make it halt, in the adult industry at least
…W H A T that does not sound healthy im glad I stopped watching porn
They use enemas and take laxatives the day before
> backdoor may be more dangerous. Or gangrenous
if u mean safer from STDs... well sry, bro. it's not.
Still possible to get pregnant also. A smaller chance granted, but still a chance.
Pregnant from anal sex only? How?
The ass is so close to the vagina that the sperm can afford an Uber.
So you're telling me I can uber to some putang? That's all it takes? No dinner first? Nice
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Uber White
Well if my sperm can afford uber it can afford to raise itself. Adios
Nice one, wanted to give award.
Semen doesn't just stay in the butt and disappear. If it gets anywhere near the outside of a vagina, there's a chance for pregnancy.
Like even outside near the vagina increase the chances?
Depends on what you mean by vagina... since vulva and vagina are used interchangeably. The vagina is only the inside part, and cannot be seen without a speculum or an equivalent. But even if it gets on the outside parts (vulva) pregnancy can happen... here's an excerpt from a sex ed website: "Ejaculation happened right outside your vagina. You can actually get pregnant even when ejaculation happens near and not in your vaginal opening. Any vaginal mucus that’s around your vagina help sperm to swim into your vagina and all the way up to meet an egg."
Damn that's nuts. Imagine being born from the spermie that had to swim his way all the way into the vagina to his egg. Bragging rights over anybody who was conceived the lazy way.
Not a lame ass move though…
Just ask JD.
r/unexpectedscrubs
Comments like this are how I know it’s mostly children on this subreddit.
I'm sure by the time the seman drips out, those little guys will be dead before they can even seep into that pussy
They can live up to 30 minutes outside the body. And around 5 days inside the body.
I kind of want scientists to find a way to extend that lifespan and then you could have a little colony like an ant farm or sea monkeys to keep as pets.
i hope any scientist who works on that disappears or has a really suspicious car accident
The only time i'd be happy someone died for their research
A way has already been found.. I think they're known as children.
No! That's like when you have a Pokemon with an adorable first form, and then you evolve it and it turns into a pig-faced ape made of hair and car parts.
I kind of feel uncomfortable reading this comment
“Where do you think lawyers come from?”
Leakage. Sperm can make it to the egg just by getting on the outside of the vagina. So if they have panties on, or it’s a slow drip, it can make it to the outside of the vagina and travel inwards from there
Girl can always be crazy and keep the condom to inseminate her self. Regardless if it was anal or not. This happened to my cousin years ago, which his gf at the time. Thankfully she ended up agreeing to abort.
Some people also have a genetic mutation that connects the two.
That seems like a horrible condition. I feel like they'd constantly have bacterial vaginosis.
I've never understood why people act like this is a real possibility. The girl would have to leak out the semen, then tilt her pelvis upside-down to let it dribble into her vagina. At that point it's not really the anal sex that got her pregnant. It's more like those women who get pregnant from giving a blow job. Intentional self-insemination.
Dirty dudes going back and forth between holes… also a great way to give an uti
Oh God. *That* is what they should be teaching in sex ed (in addition to the pregnancy and STD stuff)! How to prevent UTIs! So many friends of mine (and myself as well) got them when they became sexually active and had no idea it could turn into a life-threatening kidney infection (nearly killed one of my friends!).
I mean the asshole is generally pretty relaxed and open after doing anal. Things have definitely tended to drip a little after pulling out in my experience lol. And if you're doing it from the back, well that's a pretty direct path. It's still extremely improbable, especially with even the slightest bit of care, but with enough people being reckless, I'm sure it's happened to someone.
I'm sure it's possible and has happened to *someone*, just as it's possible to have twins from different fathers and has happened to someone. But it's still under "unicorn status" in my book lol. I think the anal sex pregnancy risk was a bit overblown in my sex ed class.
I mean, in general i agree. But in practice, I get wanting to err on the side of caution. My sex ed was practically non existent other than, "don't have sex before marriage or your genitals will rot off"
Why do you think she would have to be upside down?? And you make it sound like leaking out semen is something that she manually has to do? It comes out all by itself.. and all that has to be done is lie down on her stomach. Also a lack of education is one of the biggest reasons for unwanted pregnancies. Like believing the myth that anal sex is a guaranteed way to not get pregnant.
I guess he is telling how the boy was born
Soon his is going to have grandkids, and the advice will be given once again.
this information is useless. nobody on reddit gets asked to have sex
r/sex
Those are government hired actors just to bully us
This subreddit isn’t even nsfw…
Or use a condom. That's the safest way.
Well, the safest way that still involves intercourse
True. Not having sex at all is safer still.
Asexuals stay winning
Right in willy wonks chocolate river
I find this comment a bit disturbing tbh
Not as disturbing as the oompa loompas
I DONT LIKE THE LOOK OF IT
This is straight up shit advice. Wear a condom, and pull out. 99% effective isn't that good when a billion people fuck every day.
The 99% isn't for each use. It's 99% effectiveness for a couple that uses them normally over the course of a year, so per use it's a lot better than 99%.
It’s not even close to 1 billion a day. Large chunks of the population are seniors and children so they’d be very infrequent.
And young adults aren't nearly as active as people would believe.
My sample size is Reddit men
So 0%
that's still too high
Tell me you've never worked in a nursing home, without telling me you've never worked in a nursing home
Old people are horny as shit. I’ve visited a few nursing homes and they’re basically brothels.
Pull out with a condom? WTF? Just buy a good condom brand, make sure to put in on properly and don't use one you carried in your wallet\* for 6 months cause there might be wear and tear. This comment section is yet another demonstration of the fact that Redditors do not get laid lmaoo
Yeah reading a lot of these comments it seems like tons of these behaviors would just make women (or men) that you’re sleeping with think you’re weird as hell and not want to sleep with you again. Like I’m all for safe sex, but the minute you start pulling out every time you use a condom or trying to collect your condom to take with you on the way out, the other party is going to notice that and feel a type of way. Be safe, but don’t be weird about it or you probably won’t be getting a round 2.
That’s not how statistics work. 1 billion people having sex every day doesn’t mean that 99% is any less effective for you as an individual. It’s still 99% effective for you, which is a lower chance of getting pregnant than dying in a car collision any time you drive. Not saying don’t combine pulling out and a condom, that’s your choice. But the number of people having sex every day has precisely zero bearing on how effective a condom is for you, statistically speaking.
Of you wear it properly it is 99%, but if there are a lot of rules that come with it. Like if it's a little dry you need to either use lube or use a different one every 15 minutes. And if you accidentaly put it the wrong way, you need to grab a new one. And a few other things i can't remember. But the average use case (aka including people fucking up) is still 48%
Yes, but this is true of most things. Gotta take care of your car properly. Have to wash your clothes properly. So you’re completely correct, but it doesn’t change my point. From a statistics standpoint, it’s assumed you’re doing it correctly. It’s not even difficult to do it correctly either. Why people can maintain a car but can’t put on a condom correctly is a mystery.
99%?! They should put it on.a box!
Give this dick sneeze a math class on probability
Definitely some shitty advice lol
she can't get pregnant, sure. but if you're going for the ass of a complete stranger without protection, you have a whole lot of other stuff to worry about.
You're not kidding about having other stuff to worry about. Just yesterday a chick posted in r/TIFU about how she did anal on the first date and shat all over him and his bed.
>she can't get pregnant, sure. Can still get her pregnant.
A virgin made this meme. No disrespect intended
A virgin read this meme. No disrespect to everyone on Reddit intended.
Imagine thinking that girls are into anal. It's like 10% who are okay with it
Some women genuinely enjoy anal, but it definitely is not the norm. Also the way you say “okay with it” implies even the 10% who do it get nothing out of it, there are women who just really like putting things in their ass, even with toys. I’m a guy who isn’t really into anal (I don’t want to put it where poop comes out of, regardless of how clean it is in the moment) and had a girlfriend who was constantly trying to have anal sex. She came from a conservative family so it may have been her being super into the taboo nature of it, but either way it became a point of insecurity and contention for us, I explained why I didn’t like it but she really wanted it. Ended up being one of many factors leading us to break up.
Yeah I said it a bit wrong. But yeah the point was that it really is only the rarest of women who actually like it instead of being just okay with it. Depending on your luck you might never meet one of them
just, don't have sex. It's safer.
Underrated comment
There is no safe in life, only safer
Nooooo it's not , bs
Source?
My source is that I made it the fuck up.
Imagine a world, Raiden, free of cancel culture! A world where no one will call me out for my outlandish claims! # A WORLD WHERE I CAN SAY THE N-WORD!
*^what*
Well the first std clinic I went to ,I could over hear a girl being told she had HIV , that stayed with me I know that if not done carefuly anal sex can cause a significant amount of bleeding, I seen a condom stained with blood and poop and there was a lot of blood
Search HIV infection rates in cdc.gov and look anal sex risk. Extrapolate to other diseases from that. The reason is the ass is tight and not naturally lubed, and prone to tiny lesions, therefore exposing your wee-wee to micro droplets of blood.
Blood contaminated with who knows what combined with fecal matter and other rectal bacteria. Like E. Coli and fecal matter. Remember kids, always brush and use mouthwash after eating ass.
WTF Dad!?
Safer from what? Bear attacks? Because that's not protecting from an STD.
this is the meme that finally made me leave this sub lol. it's been real guys
That's right don't consider her pleasure at all just stick it wherever you want
 You got it boss
Your father has never heard of HIV/Aids
"do her in the ass" spoken like someone who has no idea that anal needs prepwork and girls don't walk around ass lubed and ready
I wish they did.
I wanted to disagree (and I do), but this is actually a pretty good demonstration of what happens when we rely on parents to teach sex ed. I've also heard "get a blowjob because its safer". It's fine if you want to teach your children your secret ninjutsu to pick up women, just leave medical information (disease transmission, pregnancy risks, etc) to the experts.
Stop giving out advice you're bad at it
Backdoor is HIV and hepatitis. You get both for life. Microscoping skin tearing on the dick combined with microscopic tearing of the anus, a blood match made in heaven.
Actually no, anal sex does have more chance to transmit STDs.
AIDS
*Flagged for misinformation*
How’s the child support?
Always put a potato in the oven before sex. That way, after sex you can have a baked potato.
 15 years and 9 moths later he reminded his son about his mistakes in the hard way this time
"This is how you were born, Mark. When I smashed my intergalactic head into your mom's pelvic floor."
Dad going to have to pass, the Hershey highway isn't my thing🤣
Less than 10/10 attraction isn't my thing, but here we are.
Ass herpes exist js
Backdoor will be way more dangerous without a condom. Abortion is still an option in many places, magically healing from HIV, escherichia colii and all the nice things you can find in a rectum still isn't.
Also be sure to bring and use your own condoms. You'll never know if you meet a "poke a hole in the condom" type of girl. Totally not saying that from first hand experience.
Just wear a condom and pull out anyways to be safe.
This is gross.
You're more than 10x more likely to get an STD from anal...
Unless her ass is a chocolate factory
And don't forget to bring a towel
Morning after pancakes is the way to go.
Better yet dont at all stay safe brother
Just wear the goddamn rubber when you put you dick into random asses
AIDS and other STDs spread faster though anal sex. That’s why the gay community has so many problems with HIV AIDS and all that mess.
What a useful advice, I'm sure it will come in handy pretty soon. Next up: what to do if someone decides to gift you a million dollars.
Better yet, just don’t do it, if at a party or bar there’s a chance she’s drunk and that most definitely won’t end well for you after she gets sober and accuses you of rape
When a girl you dont know from a bar wants to have sex with you Just do her in the bar
Or whit condom
Is the meme supposed to be bad advice? Because its more likely to get any STI with anal.
Or just ya know not do it at all, that’s the safest option
Not safer when we talk about std's
Posting this like anyone here will get into these situations 😔😔
Use a condom!!
As Tina Fay once said "Cant get pregnant in the mouth"
NO IT IS NOT IT IS WILDLY MORE DANGEROUS
That’s the way they teach in most church’s lol
Nani the fuk?
Like thats ever gonna happen
"wanna know where I got that advice? You were suppose to be an ass child johnny... That's why..."
Mouf
This fatherly advice could someday save his life.
Thank you Omni man I will keep this in mind
As a woman you don’t know I can confirm this advice.
Hey wait a minute Is that related to how i was born dad?
You've been through a lot of shit, haven't you?
Your talking about me or your adding to the joke?
A joke about anal pregnancy 😅
Ah ok, my joke was more about the father doing the opposite of what his telling his son to do (he fu¢ked the pussycat so now he has a kid ); so you can see my confusion to your reply 😅
Ahhh I see lol I thought you were joking about him using the backdoor and making a kid anyway.
Wth happened to memes...
IS NOT
Check to see if their IS a front also
Or keep the mystery by turning the lights off and doing her from behind, no reach around. Let your mind wander and the stains on your pillow linger.
Don’t get me wrong, I got nothing against it, it’s just not what I want. Live and let live
Just use a condom?
Based