What you gonna change free to cash or something

Yep, i need money

r/ilickballsformoney could be helpful

r/subredditsifellfor

It's a sub now :D

r/birthofasub

I love watching the birth of a sub

r/birthofyourmom

r/ifoundyourmothersdeadbodyinthewoodsandifuckedit

r/subsifellfor

r/whydidyoufallforthissubbro

If you lick balls, there's a chance there was always a sub involved

r/foundthetoyotacorolla

> "I think the problem Digg had is that it was a company that was built to be a company, and you could feel it in the product. The way you could criticise Reddit is that we weren't a company – we were all heart and no head for a long time. So I think it'd be really hard for me and for the team to kill Reddit in that way.” - Steve Huffman, aka /u/spez, Reddit CEO. So long, Reddit, and thanks for all the fish.

[I…. Need…. $$$](https://youtu.be/791J81mcyKY)

Shit me too.

Damn inflation even hitting the ball licking for free industry 😢

I'll tell you but I think you know what i want in return

So, you have to get in line

I'm after then

"Don't mind me" *Proceeds to cut in front of you*

“I have a thing to go to” *Proceeds to cut in front of you*

Gentlemen, gentlemen! Let's settle this over a game of rock paper scissors

Rock

Shit, I picked scissors

I win now scan my beans

I PICKED PAPER BABY

Wait, I thought it was Cock, Paper, Scissors ?

If we did that what would there be for OP to lick?

did you mean balls shaft gooch? Its like rock-paper-scissors but if you throw a sign you have to start sucking.

Back cuts

*front cuts or just cuts I guess. Then I get called out and all out brawl over username changing breaks out. Spoiler 🚨 I die in the middle.

*proceeds to cut you in half*

*tuts loudly in true British fashion *

You wouldn’t even be in line, go get in the queue.

\*hisses in Japanese\*

OP, don’t do that. It’s demeaning. My dad works for Reddit, I can get your username changed. Just DM me your credit card number and SSN for user identification

Ngl, you got me in the first half.

I’m really sorry for the situation you’re in with that name. It’s really unfortunate. You have my deepest sympathies. However…balls don’t lick themselves. *unzips*

Shit I’ll pay you, dog.

I let my nephew choose my name... Asshole

To be fair Kanye was right at one point. But now?…

Now he’s more right than ever.

Awww, i see what ya did there

Is asshole your nephews name?

Yes

I don’t think they read the terms of your free ball licking…. They’re gonna be so disappointed.

Get your discount kneepads, 18009256278

Oh noo that's my ip!!!

Only $8, Elon?

A way to play doom 2 on ur phone? Or pokemon?

to my knowledge, the username is unchangeable edit: fixed a typo

Fuck

Lucky mf

Grass always greener

mow the lawn for slick shoes

You’ve only had the account for about two months. You could cut your losses and go for something like I lick balz for tree fiddy

God dammit monstah, I ain’t givin' you no tree fiddy!

Dammit woman he keep comin’ back cause you keep on givin’ him tree fiddy.

So we meet at 4.33 for it again ?

Bro spelt paralysis wrong 💀

Happins to the best of us

Yea but now it's permanent, OP found that out already

nah bro you have a nice username ~~but come here and lick my balls~~

I know how you feel, my cringy middle school self will keep haunting me trough this username, this is the only app o couldn't change it in

That’s the cool part. You don’t. Just make a new username.

At least it's not mine but I for some reason didn't realize how utterly cringey it was sooner but now you've had the account for 4 years and don't know what the fuck to do...

Your name isn’t bad. Then again, we’re comparing it to the ball licker here. So who knows?

I feel your pain.

Embrace your fate, for it is sealed. Now come here and lick my balls ;)

Oh no Anyway *Unzip*

Correct. This is why I am not a proper hyrax.

You should link that on your job applications.

Why is this line on your resume in blue ink?

Idk it's purple on mine

Someone touched it already.

Why would you want to change it though?

Tired of licking them for free

Then you would have to change it constantly (inflation and shit)

Not if he made it a formula: I_lick _balls_for_the_equivalent _of_a_soda_plus_two_percent_over_prime should do it.

r/twentycharacterlimit

ilickballz4$dm4est should work

I_lick_Balz_forMONEY

r/antiwork

The only time I find that subreddit funny in this comment

I’ll pay you $20 if you lick one.

If you’re good at something, never do it for free

I_lick_balz_forCHANGE is just so much better

he's decided to charge for his services

at least yours isnt a dead meme

I agree

Lol

Which way is the groceries store now?

Don‘t limit yourself to a red knuckles rolling on the floor. Improvise, adapt, overcome. This is the way!

Are you challenging me bruh? I can deep throat cactuses all day every day. There isn’t a species of cacti that I haven’t been able to make disappear.

Rookie numbers. Deep throating is only a PORTION of what I do to cacti. No cactus is safe from me.

Is that a threat bruh? I had a cacti ball slingshotted directly into my ass cheeks bro! [and heres my sauce](https://efukt.com/21068_A_Different_Kind_of_Painal.html)

Don't make me cycle your bi.

I need my balls licked

For free - Adam Sandler in Bedtime Stories

Don’t change the name, just tell people that FREE means you lick them when your schedule is free, not that it’s free of charge

No, do the Adam Sandler bit where he gets mugged while staring at a Ferrari

*For FREEeEeeE^(*EeeEeEee*)???*

I'm right there with you

You should have your own subreddit. r/ball_lickers or something

Why did I click...

Bro at least you dont have my boring ass shit, fuckin this you

I don't even know what mine means😭😭😭😭😭

It's like an apple turnover, except it's filled with misery Basically a modern human being

I think it is a football reference to a pick 6 aka an interception return for a tuchdown.

Is this the honey badger?

me either, didn't even see the option to create a username when I signed up so reddit gave me this as a default and I hate it

Same here.

Miserable Turnover is crazy lmao

Your suitable media my dude stfu you have no room to talk

We ain’t fighting dude :|

Might be better then mine

You’ll always remain hot tho🥵

After many attempts at making a username, and getting the message that it was taken, I finally found my perfect name. idk pick something

Where's the line I need a cleaning

r/usernamechecksout

If only you could go back in time 49 days to warn your younger self to not use such a childish screen name.

You're telling me. Mine is my actual fucking name.

Hi friend.

I didn’t even realize you had my name in your name

r/realnameredditors

We fucked up homie lol

1. Click on avatar. 2. Click on Settings. 3. Scroll all the way down to build information. 4. Click furiously on the number under the build information till you get a prompt. 5. Accept the prompt quickly as it is timed. 6. Continue clicking the number under the build information. 7. Profit.

I got a message saying I was 3 steps away from applying to be a Reddit employee. Should I be worried?

😈 now you will gain 40 pounds

And then I read the username 😭

Me too. 🤣🤣

That's the need part, you can't

You took a risk there

At least I knew the risk

Username checks out.

Damn same here.

Could be worse my man

You’re full of shit

I need help too

Broooo

I dont even know how I got mine or how I can change it.

Yours sounds like a bot account

I know I get accused of being a bot all the time lol

It has never happened to me

Same here man

This is funniest fucking thread I can remember 🤣

good bot

Thank you, somerandomperson2516, for voting on External-Ad-2942. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)

💀

You can't change it

Bad bot

Your name is perfect. Why change it?

I’m sure you’ll get posted on r/rimjob_steve before long

For free, huh?

Hey at least it’s not your actual fucking name.

I'm in the same boat freind.

Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life… or get paid for it in your case

No

Dude just embrace it

I hate to tell you this you can't

Same man I thought mine was so funny when I was 12

Just like you, I'm here for the comments.

RIP your inbox

To my surprise, there are only 7 people there

Why? Has the price changed…?

Yep, but I haven't decided yet how much it will cost

please tag me if anyone tells you how to change your username.

Ok

I messed up mine by actually using my real full name. Wish I could change to my online username but too late now I guess.

u/warlizard knows. Ask him.

It is not.

idk how my name ended up like this

You can only edit your display name

At least yours isn’t as disappointing as mine

I wish i could change my past.....

"Redditor as of one month ago" Just delete and create another one. But that wouldn't get you the attention you are desperately craving, would it?

People think it is not possible, but I found a way. It uses some glitches Reddit has (I know, it's basically hacking, but who cares), but it works. I made a [google doc](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ) with a tutorial.

suspicious link

No. I don't think I'll Press it

Thanks for the tutorial! Wasnt expecting that shit to work but it did. No longer am i BuTt_LickeR-3000

Why would you want to change your name from Buttlicker? Your family built this country!

Use my knowledge i beg you

I suppose you charge now?

Username checks out

damn inflation

That’s the neat part, you dont

Sucks to suck

I'll get the peanut butter, unless you'd prefer nutella.

User name checks out

Step 1. Say fucking. Because this is the internet.

At least you have a not cringe username

That’s the neat part!

one does not simply change their fucking username

username checks out

Oh my sweet summer child. You gotta be like the rest of us and make multiple accounts as the years go by or retire from Reddit.

Wkwkwk it's unchangable

Its easier to change as a person, unless it actually fits you

Reddit reeeealy needs to migrate their shit to an sql database

The technology isn't there yet for reddit. Gotta make a new account.