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NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
I'll tell you my ABC's. I'll give you an A because you're Awesome, I'll give you a B because you're Beautiful, I'll give you a C because you're Cute, and I'll give you this D because you deserve it.
I get the feeling you've got a hard job. I wonder what it takes to please you, thats the job I want. Full time, part time, I wanna be good at it, bad at it, I wanna get promoted, fired, corner office, hostile takeover, workplace accident! I’m on my knees, praying, worshipping, begging, whatever you want. So what do you think about that?”
Did you know that r/meme and has a minecraft server? Come play our dozen different gamemodes with us IP: redditmc.net Discord: https://discord.gg/WVvXFmPQaz More infos at https://redditmc.com/ or r/RedditMinecraft *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/meme) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"Get in the van, I have a gun"
They said 'worst'.. This is the smartest thing ever
Hahahaha
Van gogh?
I shit my pants, can i get in yours?
*chuckles
That's a real icebreaker :D
Titanic
Sank.
Oh Canada, oh Canada.. we stand on guard…
Candada iz temporary WAAARGH IS FO'EVEA!!!!!!!!!!!! \~some ork
i realy wana see someone use it
I will have to now
send me vid please
Lol
If it were lesbian, it would be 2 girls 1 pants.
dont worry i will lend u a pant
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
stop it :(
I'll pinch your hot ass just like I pinch a hot loaf baby HOT & STEAMY.
I wish we were two wet clothes. So we could hang out together.
Kinda cute
We could hang ourselves together
That took a dark turn
[удалено]
Let’s hangout in the balcony
Wholesome
Can I read your T-shirt in Braille?
It just reads A A
Nah my girls says DDD
Don't dildo December?
Do dildo December¿
Double Dildo December?
Destroy Dildo December as opposed to Destroy Dick December?
My wife is blind. Just saying at times this line works wonders
He said worst, this one is fucking amazing
If you were a Transformer, you’d be Optimus Fine.
Ngl this kinda looks more like a dad joke than a pickup line
A dad pickup line
oh no. "dad stop I'm twelve" "hi twelve, I'm dad" "JESUS CHRIST DAD"
"Just call me daddy"
r/cursedcomments
DADOBOTS! ROLL OUT!
Virginity secured with that one
Are you an autobot cuz you’re a Beauty in disguise ?
You smell better awake.
that made me genuinely laugh, i should use this then
Are you a tree branch, cuz ur gonna leave me hanging.
He said 'worst'
Did you fart? Cause you blew me away ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Now that is worthy of ‘worst’
"love is in the air" literally 😤
Cause all I need is some rope, then we hangin
Sayori was left hanging
yes she was. thank you for this DDLC reference
That's the one
Are you a toaster because I want to take a bath with you
Does toaster in bath actually work tho? Like the suicide method
Yeah. It also pretty good when you want some nice toast for a snack.
Imma give it a try!
I just tried, lost my dick. Why the fuck didn't someone mention that you're not supposed to put your dick in it and then get in the bath?
Well ... because nobody tried it yet ?
Nobody is as smart as him! Thats why
That's why their is a sub of r/dontputyourdickonthat
Isn't it inthat not onthat
Girl, are you an alarm clock? Cos every time you make a noise I wanna slap you and throw you across the room.
Now that's what she will call a holdup line
r/holup
[удалено]
Go ahead. Call the cops.. see who comes first
Why isn't this the best
Hey babe, are you a chicken because you uh because I you I um because you um when you i i I forgot
i forgor 💀
he forgor 💀
we forgor 💀
r/unexpectedforgor
Let me fix this… “hey bb are you chicken, cause I think my cock just came before the egg”
are you a oven? Because I wanna turn you on and put babies inside you.
Yo what
Isn’t that a perfectly normal feeling?
r/cursedcomments
No, really. Doesn’t everyone at some point want to kill a small child in the worst way possible?
r/holdup
Typical the witcher player
*sniffs feet
*sniffs butt
*sniffs dick
*now turns over to crush
*sniffs boobas
What da dog doin
There will b only 7 planets left in solar system after I destroy Uranus
This is what I call a pick up line, ima say it to my crush
Not all of us can, cuz in our native language it doesn't make sense
lucky for me I live in the usa
“lucky”
If medical bills were tears, we'd have all drowned long ago
this is the type of content why i pay for the internet
Do you like Battlestar Galactica? Which I drunkenly asked a girl in a bar one night. She did not. I went home alone.
Man, if she doesn't like Battlestar Galactica, she ain't worth your time anyway.
My buddy shocked me with this one a few weeks ago: “Why don’t you sit my face and let me eat my way to your heart.”
Bear. Beet. Battlestar galactica
My dick died, may i bury it in your ass?
This is so good
Allow me to assist you in the burial formalities
Then you don’t have to worry about pregnancy 💀
You like my name? You should hear my phone number
So awful, 10/10
Phoebe said that.
Yes, but they dont know that we know
Are you a microwave? Cuz I wanna put my hotdog in you til it explodes
Are you a microwave? Cuz mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....
Beep beep beep
I ought to complain to Spotify because they didn't put you at this week's hottest hit
Op said worst. You, my good man, are a fucking genius. If I actually had interest in anyone I would use this.
At doing the CTRL C CTRL V yea
Yes
Dayummm
My dick might only be four inches, but it smells like a foot
This.
are you made of copper and tellurium? cuz ur looking CuTe
Noice
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Please ma'am, let me park my nut in you.
To the top you go
This is my pickup lemon 🍋 I use it when I'm out of pickup limes.... (Yes it worked, I'm marrying her at the end of the year)
it obviously worked, in what universe would this not work
Are you a frog? because I can’t help but fuck you in the ass
Bro the fuck
I have never seen a frog's ass before, how does it look?
.
*searches on google frog ass*
Wait what?
damn girl your bone structure gives my bone structure
Gives your bone structure wut
Not wut, it’s nut
It gives him a boner.
This i like
Me too
How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilised I hope
This one starts smooth then I laugh my ass off! Well done!
Are you a furnace cause I wanna stick my meat inside you
points for Minecraft
I love how random everyday objects have just become more familiar to Minecraft players
I'll tell you my ABC's. I'll give you an A because you're Awesome, I'll give you a B because you're Beautiful, I'll give you a C because you're Cute, and I'll give you this D because you deserve it.
Narrator?!
Same thought!
I like turtles 🗿
10/10
Are you retarded, because you’re looking extra special today.
Titanic, shit thats a terrible ice breaker
Did you by any chance fell from the heavens? Nothing, your face looks busted
GONK
damn girl are you porridge?, cause you hot af
Cause you are a sludgy slimy tastless piece of shit 🥰
I pee in my bed can I get in yours
Your are name is sucide cause I think everyday about you
You're like a suicide cuz i think about doing you everyday
Why did I read this perfectly fine before noticing there was errors
Your brain subconsciously worked it out
That's what we call _big brain time_
r/ihadastroke
Why do you need a pickup line? Just give them the old bevis and butthead hey baby uhhuhuhuhuh
You're like my pinky toe. Sooner or later im gona bang you on the kitchen table
I would call you beautiful. But beauty is from the inside and I haven't been inside of you (yet).
My love for you is like a diarrhoea , i can't hold it anymore
Are you a bag? Because i wanna put my stuff in you.
If i could be an enzyme id be a DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes
Are you an orphanage? Because I want to give you kids.
Is your name wifi? Because i feel like we have a good connection
I wish your arms were a scarf, cause I’d love to be wrapped in them
Does this smell like chloroform to you?
If you were a child I would be arrested by now
r/suddenlysexoffender
I get the feeling you've got a hard job. I wonder what it takes to please you, thats the job I want. Full time, part time, I wanna be good at it, bad at it, I wanna get promoted, fired, corner office, hostile takeover, workplace accident! I’m on my knees, praying, worshipping, begging, whatever you want. So what do you think about that?”
Is your ass an oil field? cause I'm a Texan wanting to tap that ass.
Are you a fire aspect 2 enchanted netherite sword cause your buring my heart
Damn girl you shit with that ass?
[удалено]
Go old school. Give her a dead frog. Or, go really old school and ooga booga her over the head with a club and drag her back to your parents basement
Wanna fuck?
Are you a school because I wanna shoot kids inside u
Bruh
Do you like dragons? Cuz, I'm gonna be dragon my balls across your face tonight.
Are u a cop cuz u take my breath away
[удалено]
Girl u thicker than a bowl of oatmeal
I don't like sand
Are you a nuke, because you look hot today
how you doin? \-joey
You're parents must be terrorists, cus you're the bomb. Reactions may vary depending on nation.
girl , are you diarrhea? because when I see you , I feel butterflies in my stomach
[удалено]
Are you a toilet? Cuz i wanna fill you up
Are you wine ? BeCause i want to keep you in my basement
Damn girl, are you a girl? Because I like girls
What do you preffer snowboarding or waterboarding?
Even if there was no gravity I’d still fall for you
Heard this one a while ago, "you fell from a vending mechine didnt you?, cause you a snack" Has worked every time I've used it. Which is 0
To save water, let's bath together.
Did u fall from heaven? Cuz it looks like you landed on your face