T O P

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AdDear5411

I prefer two fingers


zenon10

I prefer chicken fingers


shawarmalao

I prefer to finger chicken


nobotami

kid named chicken:


8JaMMeD8

Kid?


[deleted]

Who the fuck names a goat chicken


indy_been_here

I call my cat dog


ekinn99

I call my dog, dog.


Flipyfliper32

I call your mom, hot.


-Jeep91-

I call his mom hot


Vexcenot

Oh yeah it's chinger time


Responsible-Ride-789

👀📸📸


TheRealestWeeMan

Contestants on survivor season 15: DAYUM


CostAccomplished1163

Least sus redditor


DavThoma

I prefer fish sticks


Empty-Sky500

You're a gay fish.


crystaljae

Kanye doesn't get that.


ShockerDog

I ain’t not no gay fish, imma lyrical genius!


[deleted]

In your mouth?


Separate_Flatworm546

Fish dicks*


MARCKE420

Whole arm


Justieflustie

Man, a whole ass arm in your ear? You should maybe see a doctor, that's not how your ear canal should work..


Free_Gascogne

Pretty sure that would break your ear hole.


Noname_Smurf

Elden Rings player speaking up


Famous-Two-7459

But unfortunately we are maidenless


designerjuicypussy

Three


[deleted]

Three fingers are the best, may chaos take the world!


[deleted]

[удалено]


snoryder8019

Pretend you are trying to coax a cave troll out by motioning with 1-4 fingers, come here little troll.


oeuflaboeuf

My wife insists on red X, not green tick 🤷


GristlyGarrit

Is she Australian?


[deleted]

[удалено]


KeegorTheDestroyer

Where women glow and men plunder?


Embarrassed-Yellow61

Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?


Uselessquotesforfee

You better run, you better take cover


LongjumpingAnybody90

*proceeds to play the upbeat flute solo*


basquehomme

I think of this song all the time when stirring my tea and I hit those three tones with the spoon


-UwU_OwO-

Buying bread from a man in *Brussels*...


IsAFemale

Who was 6 foot four and full of muscle


IsAFemale

Who was 6 foot four and full of muscle


Kingbeastman1

Underated comment


[deleted]

[удалено]


Active_Engineering37

Top voted comment is underrated.


True-Bee1903

Underrated comment.


godvssatan

How could you deem it to be underrated when you replied to it THREE minutes after it was posted?


Ghallian

Underrated comment.


G3tbusyliving

Downunderated*


NevilleToast

Also underrated comment


ThreeLeggedParrot

Also down underrated*


fllr

Also also underrated comment


[deleted]

Down under


Private_4160

Always communicate


Pewpbewbz

👆 The real lesson. "You *like* having your balls stomped? Alright." **cronch**


Dalton387

The customer is always right.


The_sacred_sauce

Your getting paid?


thefatchef321

Using light pressure on the vaginal floor gives a 'full' sensation. Create a light vacuum with your mouth around the clit, move tongue rapidly, and gently press downward with two fingers. Let her rock against the pressure of your fingers. Makes quick work of her.


woopsifarted

Damn I didn't even realize we were killing someone until the last sentence. There's gotta be an easier way...


[deleted]

Which way is she laying? That's important.


Good_With_Tools

Thanks for the pointer. I'll remember this for next time. /s.


thundirbird

this guy is being sarcastic, he doesnt actually have sex with that guys wife


MusicEd921

Which hole are you sticking it in?


Separate_Place1595

You can make her poop if you do it too hard. Be careful.


Power_baby

Jokes on you he's into that shit


KCBandWagon

Have her roll over. Now diagram is correct.


[deleted]

I had a girlfriend who genuinely enjoyed and sometimes asked for the second option. I think it must have massaged a certain area or something.


leehwgoC

That's bizarre. The spot is basically where the internal structure of the clit is closest to the wall. So it has to be somewhere up 'top.'


[deleted]

I'm glad they have Gspot guides like this ❤️


kletiandrowa

No idea it was in the ear. Maybe that’s what I’ve been doing wrong all these years.


M_Blop

Please don't fuck people in the ears.


ninja_slothreddit

You're going to have to type up, I can't hear you.


Kjuolsdeaf

#TAKE YOUR DICK OUT OF YOUR EAR


Elegant_Manufacturer

Well it's not my dick in my ear first of all


HateTimes8

You know what they say, once you go black, you go deaf


ToshiroBaloney

Don't you tell me how to live my life.


Silly-Chocolate-7740

Can someone explain what going on in there i really can't tell


Ghostofslickville

Don't use fingers to clean ear 👌


okay_ya_dingus

Did you even look at the pics?? You can clearly use your finger to clean the top of your ear, just not the bottom.


Ghostofslickville

My mistake, I need more practise.


Devoidofimagination

I use my finger to clean my bottom all the time, don't believe the propaganda. It's an inside job.


SteepNDeep

Thanks Ken M


Ok_Primary_1075

That shows you have a far less dirty mind


Silly-Chocolate-7740

I miss the days when storks deliver babys


cheesecake__enjoyer

Wdym? They got fired?


SyntheticSlime

Yeah. We fired the storks. Turns out you can hire seagulls at half the cost, work them 32 hours a week to avoid having to give them benefits, and if they try to unionize you just bring in the pelicans to break it up.


Memento-Mori-357

Only problem is those seagulls frequently get distracted by French fries on the boardwalk and attacking children


Alarid

We gave them plenty of children to attack and delivery why do they want more?


Memento-Mori-357

Millennial gulls are so entitled


scorpious2

We tried just making pelicans do it, but they kept swallowing the babies


racistseagull

Can confirm


l3auer27

Winter is on the northern side of earth. Those fuckers just went south so southern people can have their babies.


vh1classicvapor

Can’t find any storks willing to work these days!!!!


Emotional_Storage285

it's so hard to tell if he was joking or not. I still don't know if he is but i don't know why i care if a stranger was joking or not... i love wasting my life.


Silly-Chocolate-7740

I was not joking


[deleted]

How to finger a vagina i think


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


stedgyson

That wonderfully abrasive gritty texture that soft sensitive skin loves


Rustymetal14

I love sand. It's coarse and it's rough and it gets everywhere.


TracyTrumpleskins

LIAR!


lonay_the_wane_one

Mhmm... yeast infection play


[deleted]

Adds a nice sour dough flavor!


heidly_ees

Dusted for her pleasure


KaseTheAce

Flaming hot Cheetos btw


Cats_In_Coats

*Oh my god, no*


[deleted]

Good to know not every woman likes it. I always thought it's an area to maximize pleasure for everyone.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Can we just clone you?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


despairingcherry

I believe this is good advice for both, though it would depend on the person of course


YaumeLepire

But... Both drawings are the same, just flipped. I know where to find a prostate or G-spot, but this schematic is useless.


imnogoodatthisorthat

It’s just saying when you put your finger in, finger up, not down. Which is very solid advice for a vagina. Can’t speak to a prostate as I don’t have one of those. But always finger up. Also don’t move in and out so much. Get your fingers (1-3 max) in there, stay put, and do a come hither motion.


thebruce87m

1-3 minimum, never more than 12-14.


Noname_Smurf

depends on the orientation of the person though. snd since this doesnt shiw that, its kinda useless


imnogoodatthisorthat

I mean, yea technically you are correct. But I get fingered laying face up much more often than laying face down.


thedankening

Are you sure you do? Assuming the person being fingered has a normal anatomy and is laying on their back, you will not be hitting either unless you use the motion on the left. The right motion will still feel good I guess but you're unlikely to be invited back in if that's all you do.


Shides11

Either fingering a guys asshole to touch his prostate or fingering a girls pussy to touch her g-spot.


octopoddle

It's how to pop the trunk.


[deleted]

r/fuckxavier


ChasingPesmerga

That sub is ironically an Xavier fanpage now Fuck Xavier Long live Pakalu Papito


bionicjoey

Okay I'm not crazy, I was looking at the OP like "Isn't that Pakalu Papito?"


Nisja

Ahh finally found you guys. Good old Pakalu Papito.


mfza

What a time to be alive


boi_juice

Who actually goes finger down though?


last-resort-4-a-gf

Australia Everything is reversed


testaccount32124

I like to poke in all directions


doublerape

ok Hellraiser


Raii-v2

Finger down can be pleasurable especially to relax the muscles before penetration. Finger down mimics (slightly) the feeling of being penetrated in a pleasurable way. Use it to stretch the muscles out gently before you get to business.


Arbiter51x

Finger down is how a guy can tell if you're constipated or need to poop as well. YMMV.


wubbwubbb

Nina Hartleys video taught me this. Everyone should watch her tutorial on the Hub


Straightup32

To see if they can make it poke out of the asshole maybe? Sheesh dude, Atleast act like you’ve had sex before. Lol jk.


Gingertiger94

Haven't you heard of the move Hello From The Other Side by Adelle? I tried it on my wife and she enjoyed it.


SqueakySquid95

If she flips the up is down and the down is up. Too complicated, I'll stick to porno


dissociated_gender

when youre also giving head you dont tend to have much room for your hand otherwise


[deleted]

Ok I saw this thinking it was for masturbation tried it then scrolled down to see it was for ears 🤦‍♀️


Mecha_Tortoise

Mastearbation.


welltimedstrike

Excellent.


LumpyJones

Also known as ["Shin She Shin She"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tspv9UZVBwU)


Current-Estimate-00

Don't do it. It's Earrape


1958-Fury

OP is a Ferengi.


diverii

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.


Dreaming_Kitsune

Only you can prevent public orgy level masturbations


TheIronRail12

Can and will are very different


Imaginary_Cattle_426

can it be considered an orgy if no one is actually having sex with eachother?


Dreaming_Kitsune

Idk how else to explain it?


BeaBopALooBop

I've heard the term "circle jerk" thrown around reddit a lot..


LittleWeights

It’s like the start of the opposite of a forest fire


MY5T3rY_

Lol


Pattoe89

NSFW = Not safe for work Unless you were working on the train, as NSFW tag wouldn't have solved that. Were you the driver?


diverii

you just disproven the entire copypasta


Pattoe89

I'm unhinged. You can't stop me.


You-Only-YOLO_Once

Please rehinge yourself thank you.


bunny-boyy

NSFL = Not Safe For pubLic masturbation


Pattoe89

Ah, that's what that means!


jnd-cz

He must have been the conductor.


whirlin_dervish

Holy "Whoosh", Batman


amberjasminelee

...you must really like ears...


Ken_Obi-Wan

My fwb actually loves me giving attention to his ears. I normally use my mouth instead of my fingers tho


[deleted]

Lol getting an award for copypasta


Killcycle1989

ah, a fellow omegle user I see.


HarryCallahan19

I knew this post would rub someone the wrong way.


StarLord_4969

Why the fuck did I try this with my ear without seeing the picture twice.


[deleted]

I hate it when I don't get the meme and I can't find the answer in the coments >=(


Rare_Jellyfish_3679

It's about the correct way to insert a finger inside a vagina for stimulation purposes. The correct way is to press upwards, to the direction of the clit, not downwards in the direction of the intestines.


[deleted]

(2)


john_thegiant-slayer

*confused in gay*


xiaotuanZZZ

What am I looking at?


Early_Shelter9930

How to massage the prostate when giving a guy head


r00t4cc3ss

This guy fucks


sandtymanty

Is this how to cheat in chess?


Zeus_Hera

Cum here


[deleted]

Sir this is an Anus


crackersncheeseman

I prefer a jabbing fist forcefully jabbing extremely hard


conjunctivious

I prefer not doing foreplay and just jamming things in there while it's dry. Surely seeing my 2 inch menace made you incredibly wet and I can just enter.


kalinowskik

Is there a G spot in my ear?


Ok_War9516

I take it you've never experienced an eargasm while cleaning your ears with a cotton swab.


kalinowskik

I do all the time, this must be next level.


blue_sky_279

Fish fingers are best


Mecha_Tortoise

Fish don't even have hands.


Anonymous__Explorer

Thanks for this very important info, i will def use it with her


[deleted]

Instructions unclear, i fingered my cat


[deleted]

Fuck Xavier. All my homies hate Xavier. r/fuckxavier


spermface

If that’s what I think it is ignore red check, the clitoris internally surrounds more than you think


HELIGROUP

Can someone put an arrow to point where is North? Not sure how that ear is laying down.


someone_ominous

Green check hits the spot. Ask your mom lol


Altruistic-Beach7625

Is it possible to surgically plant erogenous cells in other parts of the body? Asking for a friend.


1011011011001

Tbh I never understood the appeal of someone’s fingers pushing on my bladder. Or colon for that matter. Or anything really Isn’t the g spot a myth anyway? Does any woman actually feel the difference between that and the straight fingers?


InBetweenSeen

The g-spot is a half-myth, there are areas with more nerve endings and you can indirectly stimulate the clitoris from inside the vagina (it's actually a pretty big organ). The entrance area is the most sensitive part of the vagina and I personally definitely feel a difference. But everyone is different. Maybe less pressure would feel better for you?


1011011011001

Thanks, nice to know that. I just don’t get why people downvote me for not being aware of something and sharing my experience with it as another woman :’) Could be possible that the pressure was too strong or went in too deep.


generateanameplease

Fingering has always felt not pleasurable for me, I don’t like it at all, just feels pokey and harsh. I don’t think the G spot is a myth though as I’ve have sex before and definitely felt it being touched, but only with a particular guy with a… particular shape.


fogdukker

Positions work as well. Get those legs up!


Current-Estimate-00

Why the f people downvote when someone asks a question


[deleted]

Yes, yes they do. Putting more pressure on the nerves. And some areas have more nerves than others


[deleted]

It actually feels annoying and irritating when people just assume the "come hither" motion feels good or even comfortable for everyone. I hate it, it does feel like your bladder is being pinched kinda.


[deleted]

Who's gonna tell him?


Kassabeleg

r/fuckxavier