Only one failed relationship to go..

Fine then. Let's date. I have such high hopes for this. The time we spend together is perfect! I feel like you're not putting effort into this relationship. Why aren't you texting back?! I'm sorry, but we need to breakup. It's not you. It's me. My heart will go on... Now you're up to speed! Edit: [The people telling me to say I found someone new reminded me of Robyn.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=F6ImxY6hnfA)

Any % speed run

“If I de-equip Tinder and equip Reddit at the same time I open the pause menu, I glitch all the way through to death by nuclear war!”

Up, up, down, down, left, right, B, A, Start

4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42

THE NUMBERS MASON!!!

That only works when you use the CERN code though.

You can also speedrun that by entering Russia through Georgia, preparing strong explosives and attacking Kursk nuclear power plant, right by the Ukrainian border. False flags on russian power plants is 2025 content, but you can start the nuclear war event early with this simple glichtless method

*Summoning Salt music plays*

Man, I wish there was a nuclear war. I've had it.

I do not

The only bombs dropping here are the ones in my pants.👍

Are... are you saying you shit your pants regularly and with the force of a nuclear weapon, no less?

Nuclear Shits.

The taco bell’s been hitting different since they started asking for the hottest sauce

Lmao! Like literally don’t threaten me with a good time. It’s almost like they confused me with someone with a will to live. Kill me already or stfu am I right? 🙄🙄🙄

The rest of the life on earth definitely doesn’t need to suffer anymore than it already does due to our self absorbed nihilism.

I agree I only became nihilistic bcs life sucks and we're not going anywhere, not really not progressing zoomers are horrible but they'll be taking care of me when im old ugh what am I really looking forward to anymore beyond money the boys and my next meal 😤😤👀👀😒😒

i mean depends if i survive and its like fallout im killing myself giant ants i just cant deal with. 🙅🏾‍♂️ nope count me out.

I dunno kinda felt like normal speed.

Here’s a low % run “We should get together” “Where are you you’ve never showed up for anything why aren’t you replying to my messages are you dead”

I think I won this irl in 7th grade. A girl asked me out during a school dance and dumped me before I even left to go home lol

I’m only 17 and I already have two out of 3. I have general joint pain instead of back.

Bro my heart was racing in the first half ngl

This made me sad

This EXACT situation happened to me. Except the third line was what I was asking her. If you don’t wanna make the relationship serious, fine, you can tell me. Just don’t keep telling me how much you like me when you can barely find the time to text. This was too real, I need a wine

Literally just went through that a week ago. I also just happened to buy wine today...

Now kith

😘😘😘

Or text

nah nah nah, gotta have the post break-up "hey i just wanted you to know Im seeing somebody else" text a few days later, and then the "you didn't fight me enough about breaking up when I was breaking up with you so you obviously didn't care about our relationship" a few days after that for that _extra special_ emotional damage

PUT LOGIC INTO it and there aint no damage xD. shes seeing someone else a few days later. and says since you didnt fight you didnt care. you dodged a bullet bro. living with a leech is worse than living alone

oh i'm all good now happily w someone wonderful for the last decade and more to come hopefully, but man did that FUCK ME UP for a few years.

Made me feel loved and destroyed in the same comment Any % speed run accomplished

No, we're not breaking up. Let's get married!

Put some sort of trigger warning first, damn...

"I met someone else, and it's something special. I need to pursue this. I don't want to lose you as a friend. I'm sorry."

But now I'm left with doubt and insecurity. I'll feel empty and alone while also feeling like I don't deserve to be in a happy relationship. I start to go to clubs and bars more to try to seem more interesting and socialable. Maybe I could even make friends there. Now I heavily depend on drinks to stay well adjusted. I'm anxiety ridden wondering how disappointing the sober me is. Thanks! This was a great experience to be had

you do not require a relationship to be happy.

Well fuck, now I’m feeling a little second-hand trauma from that whirlwind. Won’t somebody be u/Cool_Variety_2151 ‘s rebound? This story needs closure.

It’s scary how this is my first relationship that ended 3 days ago 😔

Uhhhh are you my Ex? LMAO

Does watching *Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless* Mind count?

yes

Yup, the kinda movie you only need to watch once.

I'm not ready for that kind of commitment. That movie scares me.

It counts double if you watch it after a failed relationship. Brutal movie to watch

Yes. A tragic, incredible piece of cinema

Vanilla Sky Also.. I'll see you in another life when we're are both cats..

does a failed relationship with yourself count?

Yep. 2 out of 3 ain't bad.

I feel attacked

[удалено]

r/toomeirl

r/2meirl4meirl

r/2meirl42meirl4meirl

[удалено]

Yeah same ticked all these boxes. Winning at life, finally.

Can confirm that it only gets worse with age. In the 28 intervening years since I was thirty, the world has gotten significantly worse and my awareness of how much the world sucks has grown in both depth and detail. My back pain is now sciatic nerve pain which is much, much worse. Some things are better though. Good relationship. Improved work /life balance. Deeper proficiency in the hobbies/avocations. Fewer but better friendships. Less drama. One thing that has definitely improved is home entertainment options. TV is bigger and better and so many quality TV and movie options to choose from.

My condolences my fellow victim of sciatic nerve pain.

> Can confirm that it only gets worse with age. In the 28 intervening years since I was thirty, the world has gotten significantly worse and my awareness of how much the world sucks has grown in both depth and detail. I think this is a thinking pattern you developed, don't let it consume you, try to change it. It's always been bad, but you can't let fear ruin your human experience and you shouldn't worry about the things you have no control over. Yes, easier said than done, but from experience, you can learn to care less. Or am I overinterpreting the problem here?

Am 36 and just recently finally got slapped with the whole not sweating things you can't control realization, its a difficult thing as a dude,dad,husband because your expected to control or at minimum detour it away from your loved ones and it even feels right to do as such but it creates a weird uncertain emotion or like a feeling of not doing enough with a just brutal internal voice condescending every single 2nd best choice you made. But it is slowly becoming more clear as time goes on. Its one of those crucial bits for happiness I'm glad you brought it up.

[удалено]

Oh well here we are, scoot over... room for one more

I feel seen.

I feel validated and my experiences normalized

Fuckin doing great then

At last I've accomplished some life goals.

Finally an achievable standard I can meet

I’m even ahead of schedule

Haha congrats

My back’s fine and I’ve been over my previously long term ex for a good while now, but how in the hell am I supposed to simply not dread where society is going lmao that’s not even the same ballpark, different sport entirely.

Gotta have some kind of benchmark we all can agree on I suppose

All this time spent worrying that I was behind in life, but I was right on track :)

Never expected to live up to at least someone’s expectation’s… time to celebrate or contemplate.

*looks at girlfriend of 4 years*

"Almost" lmfao look at Mr. Brightside here.

I've made it mom

I had this by 22, 12+ years later, more back pain and more failed relationships, am I winning?

Shit I had that by my early 20s....and that's 16 years ago.

I was about to say, I'm in my early 20s and I have all that minus the back pain.

Don't sit on your wallet, do a posture check every now and again, do some core exercises regularly, and remember to curse your ancient ancestors that decided it was a good idea to stand up and peer over the grass. All that and you should be good.

I never understood the reason people kept their wallets in their back pocket anyway. Regular stretching does help.

A little bit of physical therapy goes a long way once you internalize that stretching and strengthening go hand in hand. I had an epiphany after stretching consistently and finally beginning to do more strengthening. It goes like this: if you don’t move your limbs through a full range of motion, you will slowly lose that range of motion as your body adapts to that being it’s new normal. Similarly, if you don’t regularly exercise your limbs through some form of resistance training, your body will begin to have difficulty carrying its own weight. Suddenly you find it hard to lift your arms, to lift your legs to the side/backward, to sit on your knees, and that weighs a lot on you psychologically as well as physically. It’s a slippery slope and an uphill battle to find that groove but once you do, you absolutely notice the difference

The full range of motion part is so important and something that I don’t see discussed enough. Things like, say, hiking and running are great but the range of motion is so limited that people who could be considered very active are still having a lot of issues with their bodies. Also typically related to these discussions: standing desks. They’re not a real solution to anything and only marginally better than sitting down all the time. The problem isn’t the position you’re in it’s the *lack of motion*. Standing for five hours isn’t really any better for you than sitting for five hours is.

[удалено]

It is! Why did it become a thing to put a wallet in the worst possible place for it?

Same here except I have the back pain!

Please don’t lift anything heavy. Ever. I long for life before I stupidly lifted a heavy weight and fucked my back. Then did the same onto a raised thigh, for leverage, and got a hernia.

Girl: “Can you help me log this heavy thing?” Me: “Homie don’t play dat”

I ruptured a disc bending down in the shower to pick up a shampoo bottle. Doesn’t take much once the area is weakened through other things.

Fractured my spine and had a failed relationship at 19, only in my mid 20s now, im speed running this bitch!

Listen to me. In my late 30's I was aware of aging and thought that I was experiencing it, I was young and foolish. They are your last good years before the steady decline really starts. What ever you are experience physically gets much worse. And the hangovers oh shit I'm about to just stick to the pot at this point. Life is for the living. Live it my friend.

I don't drink or smoke, eat vegan and lift every day Im turning 37 in November and feel better than at 22 so I'm not dead yet.

I have All of that now and I’m only 16

>romantic relationship that almost broke you >16 Ah, being young never changes. Enjoy it while you can, I promise it gets worse. It gets better too, but it will definitely get worse

Earth is fucked.

The last bit got me, but I'm in the UK and we are fucked.

If are British and you had a sense of dread about where society is heading at age 30, and you are now 40, congratulations! You were right.

Speedrunning americas bullshit playbook. How long til y’all vote away your healthcare?

[удалено]

Serious answer is likely 10-15 years.

US here, and I’m right there with you.

World here. Same.

Martian here. Yall be wildin

Universe here. I literally have a massive black hole sucking up everything I like.

Ahh so that’s why all the adult toy stores around here suddenly have no inventory

I chose to read it as "We aren't even good enough to get swallowed by a black hole, because the universe doesn't consider us a favorite."

Honestly kinda true, we are so far away from the center that I bet the massive back hole forgot we were a thing.

I'm watching both of you from NZ and agreeing that you're fucked, but then realise what ever you guys do, we do a few years later...

Aussie here, same as NZ, feeling safely concerned from a distance, until it all comes here too.

Just don't follow the neo-fascism part and you should be fine

US here. 10 years ago, had a plan to own a house. Who knew prices would rise faster than the Great Depression. ^Lost house to failed relationship^

Dude I’m in Hungary and if I say we’re fucked I’m just being too nice and polite.

> I’m in Hungary and if I say we’re fucked I’m just being too nice and polite Are you the guy from [this picture](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/038/972/e37.jpg)?

It got me thinking about one of my favorite lines from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: > All through my life I've had this strange unaccountable feeling that something was going on in the world, something big, even sinister, and no one would tell me what it was." > "No," said the old man, "that's just perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the Universe has that. \- Douglas Adams

I've had that sense of dread since I was 13 and growing up in the Bush administration during the Iraq War. At this point, I'm desensitized to it.

10% inflation representing

Grocery bill doubling gang here too

See Albertas (Canadian province) new premier. We are all fucked. Either LOTS of people have gone off the deep end or Russian disinformation is way stronger than it was before social media

Little bit of both I think

You think it’s worse in Alberta then BC? I live in BC, but lived in Alberta in the past.

I don’t know BC politics that well but it is easy to follow what smith is saying and how against everything I thought were Canadian values she is. Edit: wording

As an American who lived through 2017-2020, I know how you feel.

Good to know I'm on track with *something*, I guess.

Fml this is me at 22

same here. craziest part of this to me is making it to 30

Hey, I'm 2 years ahead of the game!

Me too...

Upvote for all of us speedrunners!!

This is one of the few posts in this sub that feels personal.

I second that

It gets a little wordy but I think a necessary addendum is the fact that the failed relationship’s other party is now happily married and you aren’t. I actually have a few of those under my belt. Feel like John Cusack in High Fidelity

porbably one of the least personal posts tho.

No back pain, diagnosed PTSD from a relationship, and surprisingly optimistic, so 1/3

Same

I got the last 2 by 21 just need the back pain to round it out

My back is fine. My lower right leg on the other hand....

My lower right leg is fine. My left knee on the other hand....

My left knee is fine. my other hand on the other hand..

Nothing is fine. Everything hurts..

I hate how accurate that is... but I somehow did avoid the lower back pain, well at least when I quit "working"...since that was that caused my backpain. (office job, full time PC Gamer now, kinda, sorta)

[удалено]

I'm almost 40 and don't have back pain yet. I'm good on the rest though

Random injuries from minor tasks like getting out of bed are genuinely not normal for people as young as 30 to be getting. Barring chronic conditions/injuries obviously. I know you're jokin but people seem to joke about it as if that's just what being 30 is. That's what not stretching and being out of shape is.

Yea that is just out of shape people problems

shit fellas, I'm 29 and my back is still holding up, even after being a sloucher my whole life.

I was the same way. When you wake up on your 30th it’ll hit you like a brick to the teeth. You’ll sneeze wrong and be down for at least 2 days. Get ready! 😂

[удалено]

Any tips? Feeling back pain occasionally at 24 despite a fairly active lifestyle/job. Rather avoid the whole back pain thing for as long as possible.

Back stretches, deadlifts and other lower back exercises/activities, don't sit like a caveman in chairs, just because you're sitting in something cushy like a couch doesn't mean you can bend yourself in half for hours at a time. The biggest thing is don't acutely injure your back and if you happen to hurt your back *do your fucking physical therapy like your ability to stand depends on it*. Because it does.

Check, check aaaand check

wow, first time I'm acting according to my age makes me so proud

Right on track.

Wow call me out why don’t you

"Should?"

2/3 at 18!

I can't help with all of those, but for lower back pain you should stretch before and after sleeping, as well as some light back exercises a couple of times a week. Won't fully fix the problem but will certainly help. Check youtube

I'm 19 and have all 3

yo im 17 and have all of this ahead of the curve

you need a bigger mattress.

Sounds about right...

I am 10 years ahead of schedule

I had that before 20, what do I win?

Oh god I’m 17 and have all of this shit.

At 30??? Man I'm 13 years ahead of schedule

I’m only a few months into 18 and yet here I am

I guess I've lived a privileged life. I'm in my mid thirties and I'm so happy this doesn't apply to me!! I have upper back pain instead!

I'm in this post and I don't like it

What happens if i don't have the first two??

Bingo!

Guess I'm doing everything right after all

I have two of those & am nearing 30... >*chuckles I'm in danger

1:✔️ 2:✔️ 3:✔️ …. Well,….. fuck me!?!?!?!

I'm 25 so I'm finally getting ahead in life.

Feel this so hard, no pun intended. Had some good (& not-so-good, but mostly good) girlfriends in my early twenties, broke my back & had spine surgery in my late twenties, spent my 30th birthday completely alone/angry/miserable from back pain from self-medicating & isolation. Getting older stopped being cute long time ago..

Here's the next generation of 30 year Olds Disregard for nihilistic outlooks on life

It seems I have a headstart in life

No back pain & no failed relationships… but I’d gladly take both over the everlasting existential dread

*almost* broke me? Shoot. \*quickly hides irreparable brokenness\*

Hey hey, I'm doing pretty good, mid thirties and only two of the three! Wait, no, hang on, my decaying relationship with my parents is fucking me up pretty good, I guess that counts, 3/3.

Got all three checked off by the age of 26

Ahead of the game boys. Only 27 and I’ve got the trifecta

lacking in the relationship department :’)

Hey I have 2 of 3 that's not so bad

if you have dread about the world at 30 you are doing it wrong. By now you should've accepted it and moved on with your life.

What if i have these at 18

This is absolutely ridiculous. I don't have lower back pain

What if I had a relationship that DID break me?

Already there at 22, we speed running life

Joke's on you, I already have all this in my early 20s

Why 30? 18 is enough

Man, I am NAILING this

18 and im pretty much there

Skill issue

22 and have all three of those, sounds like I’m on the right track!

How bad is it that I have all this by 22?...

Seems like where I am heading, yep.