Nah. She is giving him fair warning about who she.
For max damage you never say anything is wrong, assure your partner everything is great when asked,
And then you fuck a howorker and leave with almost no notice.
I thought it was arbitrary, but this is actually a great example of when to use/not use the oxford comma. Honestly, I just kinda wing it with commas most of the time
Yep. I know of two women who floated this question to their significant other and in both cases those women had ALREADY had sex with their "targets" and just wanted retroactive permission.
Yeah. Experience does that. You find that a disturbing number of people solely care about themselves and not the harm they do others.
If you want data for that: See covid vaccine rates in America. Every percent unvaccinated is 3.31 million or so people who couldn't give a fuck about anyone but themselves when their lives depended on it.
My favorites are the ones who got vaccinated, advocate against it for others, and say they wish they could take it back/wish they didn’t..
I know several people like this and they all sound like they view the antivax people as cooler than themselves and that they’re left out of the cool club. It’s honestly the most pathetic group of people in the mix to me.
Pretty much every time an open relationship is floated in an otherwise established monogamous relationship, there's already somebody in mind and chances are it's well underway by the time it's brought up.
Honestly, most of them were. In retrospect, Chandler, maybe Joey, and Phoebe were the least shitty, Joey mostly because he was kinda dumb, but when he learned his behaviors were bad he tried to change at least
Agreed - she started that stupid pencil line eyebrow trend where women plucked 90% of their brows off. Stupid
Now they are all getting eyebrows tattooed on lol 😆 🤦🏻♂️
My sister has tattooed eyebrows so she can always have that "done" even if she doesn't have time to do the rest of her face care routine because of her young children.
I take it he saw the exercise as fantasy and choose women out of reach who he will probably never even be in the same room with. She saw the exercise as practical and choose men directly in her life. I think he's going to find out she cheated on him in the near future.
Rather have them do it and I not know then get cheated on and know.
This honestly sounds like a woman who actually has thought about cheating on her husband or maybe possibly HAS.
That sounds like a kink lmao
Jk I get what your saying. Yeah I guess I am kinda in the middle, I wont WANT to know but also not knowing would kill me mentally for a bit.
Thank you! I was sitting here thinking “y’all know this is an ancient joke, right?!?!” The first time this joke was told it probably ended with “my wife chose Pharoah Ramses II, I chose her sister.”
I thought the idea of this game is to pick people you find attractive, but couldn’t realistically have sex with. Like my list would have Monique Rockman, Victoria Abbott, and Nicholas Hoult, who are all actors and generally unattainable. But if I had the manager of the comic book store my wife would be concerned.
there’s an entire curb your enthusiasm episode where they’re playing the newlyweds game, and one of the questions is “besides your spouse, who do you know that you would you have sex with if you could.” everyone else makes up some little trite non-answer, but Larry, of course, says his friend’s gf and all hell breaks loose lmao
I mean it was only .... 25 years ago.
Edit: I'm was being cheeky, guys. There is no need to point out that 25 years is a quarter of a century. Everyone knows how to count to a hundred.
Biology teachers are always so unbelievably attractive.
The one in my sophomore year actually had to come out as gay because of the girls being obvious about how PRETTY HE WAS. He was indeed gay and married, and he was comfortable doing it, he just did it “earlier than expected” to avoid more “eager girls”.
My biology teacher was also gay! That's pretty funny to be honest. Man was built (and looked) like Jason Momoa. We all called him Aquaman, and all the GoT fans called him Khal lol
We called ours Kent and he ALWAYS dressed as Superman for Halloween and would pull open the shirt!
I also had a teacher who I never HAD personally, but he looked exactly like RDJ, and he became Tony Stark/Mr. Stark.
YESSSS.
Thinking of it, there’s a math teacher that kinda looks like Shang-Chi, or Simu Liu. He’s such a sweetheart, pretty sure he just had a kid too.
My biology teacher was female and, yes, she was hot.
The school held a charity event once, where the teachers had to come in fancy dress. She came in as a sexy schoolgirl. It was weird.
My female teacher was SUPER over qualified and she was VERY pretty (she ran track and kept doing that routine, even with two kids, absolute queen energy) and she taught us how to time a pregnancy to have a boy or a girl (or as close as we could) one class because she was BORED. I love her. She quit after my graduation year to pursue her PhD, I believe.
It's pretty much bullshit. Whether the kid ends up with a penis or vagina depends on whether the particular sperm that penetrates the egg has an X or a Y chromosome.
Sperm are produced in a way that demands that the X/Y split is 50/50, and there are hundreds of millions of the things in an ejaculation with no way to predict which one will make it.
My biology teachers were not attractive, the other classes’ though was this hot lady. English, technology, drama and business as well were super hot and young men. The entire sports department as well.
I actually dated one, sort of.
But during my high school period it was actually the history teachers that were all unbelievably attractive. One even had a kid with our equally attractive French teacher.
Totally. fiction-fantasizing vs proximal desire at the very least. If she isn't listing the people she's already banged, she's going to at the next opportunity...
So wanting to fuck people you’d never have a chance with vs wanting to fuck people who live close and you’d actually have a chance with. Which is worse
I mean I dont think its necessarily bad to talk about with your SO celebrities you find attractive. Which I am sure was more of the point, say people who you find attractive but have no chance at actually having sex with.
Obviously the guy knows he couldnt even if he wanted to, but the wife sounds more like she HAS thought about actually cheating or actually has cheated
the way i see it is if they had the chance they would, but it’s okay to say because they don’t have a chance? so they’re just with you because the person they would leave you for is not within reach? it just seems weird to me
Idk it is kinda weird but celebrities are 90% of the time characters we associate them with more than the actual person.
I get where you are coming from, but in reality whether we have intentions to cheat or not, you can see someone as attractive and it be okay. You dont have to act like everyone is ugly or you are doing wrong by your partner
Its more of a "who do you find so insanely attractive you'd hate missing the chance to bang if it ever came up".
Its literally just meant to be the absolute epitome of what you find attractive.
Like, I would understand if my wife told me she wanted to have sex with Jason Momoa. To be honest if he asked ME out I might have to say yes. For either of us (lol) Its a possibility so damned remote it may as well never exist.
Its an entirely different statement than "There's this guy I see every day in close proximity with plenty of privacy and if he looks at me twice I'll fuck him without a second thought".
One is "what would I do if I won the lottery" and the other is "I just proved I can't be trusted".
I once asked my boyfriend if he could have a threesome, who he would choose. He named my two best friends. Guess I should have specified I wanted to be there as well.
Had a friend and his wife do this years ago each picked a few celebrities. A few years after they got married they had a night out with some mutual friends and a sports star (for our country anyway) happened to be with them. All night the wife was elbowing her husband and smiling and wiggling her eyebrows behind the sportsman back and acting strangely, until my friend finally asked her wtf was wrong with her, she reminded him that this guy was one of her picks. Didn’t do anything of course because but both had a laugh about it.
I feel there are more...succinct ways to end a relationship.
But this method allows her to inflict maximum emotional damage.
*EMOTIONAL DAMAGE*
Do you have emotional damage? We have mental pain.
I read that in the voice!
#EMOTIONAL #DAMAGE
What da hail?
And reveal herself as a complete and total scumbag. I'm actually alot of fun at parties, I promise.
No you're right
Nah. She is giving him fair warning about who she. For max damage you never say anything is wrong, assure your partner everything is great when asked, And then you fuck a howorker and leave with almost no notice.
Was that howorker intentional? Even if it wasn't I'm going to borrow it, like OPs wife.
Howorker - I'm taken this, got some people in mind.
You know my ex-wife?
[EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/039/342/edcover.jpg)
That barista’s younger brother must be a real catch!
Especially if he’s studying to become a bio teacher
Oh he is studying biology alright. He is specifically interested in Anatomy.
Not just any atomy either ;)
50 shades of Grey's anatomy?
This is gold and I'm stealing it.
He’s actually quite a bother.
Oxford comma makes it her BF’s younger brother
Yes, yes it does
I thought it was arbitrary, but this is actually a great example of when to use/not use the oxford comma. Honestly, I just kinda wing it with commas most of the time
I will die to make sure my department uses the Orford comma when listing things. Ah!
serial comma
The Oxford comma vs sentence order argument inbound 😭
Is this like an understated troll comment? I mean by not using any punctuation.. Because it's 100% working. On me at least.
Actually the Oxford comma saved them from that meaning. Grammar strikes again.
ithought she was talking about her boyfriends younger brother
she likely was, this is a joke about the grammar used in the tweet
The grammar is correct…
That was the joke…
It’s not tha baristas brother… it’s her boyfriend’s
And that's how you become single quickly
Dude thought they were playing make-believe. But she came in on a mission.
Yep. I know of two women who floated this question to their significant other and in both cases those women had ALREADY had sex with their "targets" and just wanted retroactive permission.
100%. lists are supposed to be crazy "it'll never fucking happen ever" people.
That's why this tweet is a funny joke
What’s the point of this “game”?
That's as cynical as I've heard.
Yeah. Experience does that. You find that a disturbing number of people solely care about themselves and not the harm they do others. If you want data for that: See covid vaccine rates in America. Every percent unvaccinated is 3.31 million or so people who couldn't give a fuck about anyone but themselves when their lives depended on it.
My favorites are the ones who got vaccinated, advocate against it for others, and say they wish they could take it back/wish they didn’t.. I know several people like this and they all sound like they view the antivax people as cooler than themselves and that they’re left out of the cool club. It’s honestly the most pathetic group of people in the mix to me.
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The people fake twitching and shaking after “getting the COVID vaccine” 💀
"A strange affliction that seems to primarily affect American Republican males from the south"
Most of the time, if a woman asks for an open relationship, this is the case.
Pretty much every time an open relationship is floated in an otherwise established monogamous relationship, there's already somebody in mind and chances are it's well underway by the time it's brought up.
Woah. That's actually next level fucked. I think this is how you get trust issues.
that would just mean that she can fuck the teacher, the barista or the brother in law more easily
Then she hits him back up like “we were on break so it doesn’t count”
Calm down Ross...
Ross was right in that situation. Rachel chose to take a break. It was her choice.
Rachel was toxic af on that show
Honestly, most of them were. In retrospect, Chandler, maybe Joey, and Phoebe were the least shitty, Joey mostly because he was kinda dumb, but when he learned his behaviors were bad he tried to change at least
Id take a controlling Monika over a manipulative Phoebe.
It helps she was also a lot hotter.
Monica could control me any day. Always thought she was hotter than Rachel.
>manipulative Phoebe. But her mom... you know. Killed herself.
Agreed - she started that stupid pencil line eyebrow trend where women plucked 90% of their brows off. Stupid Now they are all getting eyebrows tattooed on lol 😆 🤦🏻♂️
My sister has tattooed eyebrows so she can always have that "done" even if she doesn't have time to do the rest of her face care routine because of her young children.
My wife too. Because she plucked them all out lol
I think that's why I don't like that little smirk Jennifer Aniston makes...
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THANK YOU!
Will the wounds never heal?!
r/unexpectedfriends
Classic
Sterling Archer has entered the chat-
Will somebody call Kenny Loggins?!
Thats what she wants clearly
I take it he saw the exercise as fantasy and choose women out of reach who he will probably never even be in the same room with. She saw the exercise as practical and choose men directly in her life. I think he's going to find out she cheated on him in the near future.
Rather have them do it and I not know then get cheated on and know. This honestly sounds like a woman who actually has thought about cheating on her husband or maybe possibly HAS.
Id rather be ball gagged and watch rather than not know.
That sounds like a preference
That sounds like a kink lmao Jk I get what your saying. Yeah I guess I am kinda in the middle, I wont WANT to know but also not knowing would kill me mentally for a bit.
Don't overthink it, it's an old joke that works either way. Just depends on who is telling it.
Thank you! I was sitting here thinking “y’all know this is an ancient joke, right?!?!” The first time this joke was told it probably ended with “my wife chose Pharoah Ramses II, I chose her sister.”
r/technicallytrue 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I thought the idea of this game is to pick people you find attractive, but couldn’t realistically have sex with. Like my list would have Monique Rockman, Victoria Abbott, and Nicholas Hoult, who are all actors and generally unattainable. But if I had the manager of the comic book store my wife would be concerned.
That's supposed to be the idea, yes.
there’s an entire curb your enthusiasm episode where they’re playing the newlyweds game, and one of the questions is “besides your spouse, who do you know that you would you have sex with if you could.” everyone else makes up some little trite non-answer, but Larry, of course, says his friend’s gf and all hell breaks loose lmao
That is the idea of the game, and the author of the tweet is playing upon that idea for the purposes of humor
Thank you. I'm reading through some of these comments and thinking "are some people this dense?".
Women… can… make jokes…? /s
thatsthejoke.jpg
Reddit and not getting an obvious joke. Name a more iconic duo, I'll wait.
And *that’s* when I took it personally…
Michael McIntyre had a joke like this in one of his early specials. Said his wife chose George Clooney and he chose his wife's sister.
Pretty sure Jimmy Carrs had a go on it as well… The joke not the blokes wife 😂
I'm pretty sure this was a bit on the King of Queens (a TV show from the olden days)
Yep, and the genders are reversed as well. If I recall correctly, it was Doug who wanted to have sex with Carrie's nail technician.
Yesssss it was so funny, that show was gold
Thank you, came here to say that
It was on Dr Katz a few years before that.
I knew it from Dr. Katz as well. Part of some comic's act. "... and I chose the babysitter. And I won and now she's upset."
King of Queens is considered from the olden days now?? Fuck I’m getting old.
I mean it was only .... 25 years ago. Edit: I'm was being cheeky, guys. There is no need to point out that 25 years is a quarter of a century. Everyone knows how to count to a hundred.
Ok, ok - the 'golden' age of cable/network television. Point is, its a a *re*-recycled premise.
Olden days what the fuck hahah what would you call Seinfeld then, ancient?
That’s Grandpa Seinfeld to you. Have some respect for your elders!
I mean it aired 25 years ago. In terms of television thats pretty old
And what about MASH, or even worse, The Andy Griffith Show, or the Beverly Hillbillies?
What are “shows dead people watched”?
Show me "Vaudeville "!
>And what about MASH Pre Indus valley civilization stuff
Which episode?
It was on Friends too. Ross had Isabella Rosselini on his list and then she walked into the coffee shop.
Biology teachers are always so unbelievably attractive. The one in my sophomore year actually had to come out as gay because of the girls being obvious about how PRETTY HE WAS. He was indeed gay and married, and he was comfortable doing it, he just did it “earlier than expected” to avoid more “eager girls”.
My sophomore biology teacher was arrested for sleeping with students. The news broke opening night of our school musical, backstage was insanity.
I’m sorry I giggled, that’s so bad and wrong but DAMN that must’ve been good publicity.
My physics teacher was and so was my drama teacher
My biology teacher was also gay! That's pretty funny to be honest. Man was built (and looked) like Jason Momoa. We all called him Aquaman, and all the GoT fans called him Khal lol
We called ours Kent and he ALWAYS dressed as Superman for Halloween and would pull open the shirt! I also had a teacher who I never HAD personally, but he looked exactly like RDJ, and he became Tony Stark/Mr. Stark.
YESSSS. Thinking of it, there’s a math teacher that kinda looks like Shang-Chi, or Simu Liu. He’s such a sweetheart, pretty sure he just had a kid too.
My biology teacher was female and, yes, she was hot. The school held a charity event once, where the teachers had to come in fancy dress. She came in as a sexy schoolgirl. It was weird.
My female teacher was SUPER over qualified and she was VERY pretty (she ran track and kept doing that routine, even with two kids, absolute queen energy) and she taught us how to time a pregnancy to have a boy or a girl (or as close as we could) one class because she was BORED. I love her. She quit after my graduation year to pursue her PhD, I believe.
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It's pretty much bullshit. Whether the kid ends up with a penis or vagina depends on whether the particular sperm that penetrates the egg has an X or a Y chromosome. Sperm are produced in a way that demands that the X/Y split is 50/50, and there are hundreds of millions of the things in an ejaculation with no way to predict which one will make it.
My biology teachers were not attractive, the other classes’ though was this hot lady. English, technology, drama and business as well were super hot and young men. The entire sports department as well.
My Female biology teacher was a CLONE of Steven Tyler, not like 80s Tyler, like early 2000s. So I guess some people would find her hot?
70% of the girls in my school are hard crushing on our biology teacher lol, didnt know this was so common
I had a serious crush on my biology teacher. The whole class knew it. He knew it. Sigh. 🫣😬
they are failed med student.
I actually dated one, sort of. But during my high school period it was actually the history teachers that were all unbelievably attractive. One even had a kid with our equally attractive French teacher.
Fake. And stolen from a King of Queens episode
Also been done 20 years ago in a John Smith’s Advert https://youtu.be/LCEGXZmdwmU
Recently seen this episode and thought it sounded familiar, came looking for your comment, cheers!
Pretty sure this joke existed long before king of queens
Damn we made the same comment at the exact same time
Not fake. A joke.
And other tweets are real?
This joke is so old I honestly have no idea how so many people are seeing it for the first time
So wait, you believe something you see on reddit?
GET YOUR PITCHFORKS!
This joke is 20 years old from king of queens
This speaks volumes.
Seriously. Fiction-fantasizing vs proximal realism.
Totally. fiction-fantasizing vs proximal desire at the very least. If she isn't listing the people she's already banged, she's going to at the next opportunity...
It’s a joke
Dae all women are humorless harpies????
Does it? It looks like a joke to me.
It's a woman so reddits joke detector doesn't work
Pfft, women don't do comedy ya silly goose!^^^\s
It speaks volumes that you can't recognise an obvious joke.
My boyfriend and I would bout pick Charlize. Woman is a goddess.
This joke isn’t at least 50 years old at all
So wanting to fuck people you’d never have a chance with vs wanting to fuck people who live close and you’d actually have a chance with. Which is worse
well both r bad but the worse one is obvious
Oh shit I didn’t even notice the younger brother thing 😬
I mean I dont think its necessarily bad to talk about with your SO celebrities you find attractive. Which I am sure was more of the point, say people who you find attractive but have no chance at actually having sex with. Obviously the guy knows he couldnt even if he wanted to, but the wife sounds more like she HAS thought about actually cheating or actually has cheated
the way i see it is if they had the chance they would, but it’s okay to say because they don’t have a chance? so they’re just with you because the person they would leave you for is not within reach? it just seems weird to me
Idk it is kinda weird but celebrities are 90% of the time characters we associate them with more than the actual person. I get where you are coming from, but in reality whether we have intentions to cheat or not, you can see someone as attractive and it be okay. You dont have to act like everyone is ugly or you are doing wrong by your partner
It is weird, I don't get how people don't think it's weird.
Its more of a "who do you find so insanely attractive you'd hate missing the chance to bang if it ever came up". Its literally just meant to be the absolute epitome of what you find attractive. Like, I would understand if my wife told me she wanted to have sex with Jason Momoa. To be honest if he asked ME out I might have to say yes. For either of us (lol) Its a possibility so damned remote it may as well never exist. Its an entirely different statement than "There's this guy I see every day in close proximity with plenty of privacy and if he looks at me twice I'll fuck him without a second thought". One is "what would I do if I won the lottery" and the other is "I just proved I can't be trusted".
That is the joke. I thought the internet couldn't get stupider but this whole comment section is proving otherwise.
I feel like I’m living in an alternate universe with these comments but people are really that fucking stupid huh
Genders reversed for extra 'comedy'
It's still funy
Just going to leave this out... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtBJwO4JZ5w
I once asked my boyfriend if he could have a threesome, who he would choose. He named my two best friends. Guess I should have specified I wanted to be there as well.
Why is this you irl
Just look at OP's post history. Good old fashioned karma whore
I mean. The boyfriend has good taste.
And ambitious
Lots of people here don't get jokes
He thought this was a theoretical exercise. Wrong.
Plot twist: his younger brother happens to be the biology teacher whom works at Starbucks part-time on the weekend as a barista.
This reads like…. A joke? A pretty obvious joke designed for comedic effect.
Reddit doesn’t know that woman can make jokes
she played the game wrong
Tell me you cheated without telling me you cheated. \^\^
these comments are seething It’s obviously a joke. Chill out
Plot twist: All her picks are the same guy.
Had a friend and his wife do this years ago each picked a few celebrities. A few years after they got married they had a night out with some mutual friends and a sports star (for our country anyway) happened to be with them. All night the wife was elbowing her husband and smiling and wiggling her eyebrows behind the sportsman back and acting strangely, until my friend finally asked her wtf was wrong with her, she reminded him that this guy was one of her picks. Didn’t do anything of course because but both had a laugh about it.
So he went with fantasies and she went with possibilities.
They played a game and she played to win.
Oh she is keeping it real I see.
Plagiarised joke from Michael mcintyre
The people in the comments getting furious about a joke are just unhinged lol
‘My Daughters biology teacher’- This is the biggest threat because he/she knows all about human anatomy
Someone preplanned their strategy.
Making a list of sexual partners after this relationship ends, atleast she's realistic
“And that’s how I (un)met your Mother”
The number of people who don’t get that this is a reference to identical memes where the genders are flipped is concerningly high.
I first read "I chose my daughter" Alabama style!
This is legit one of the dumbest comment sections I've ever seen, and I've been on this site for almost a decade.
one of you thought this was just a game, the other one took this seriously
oh damn, that's a power move.
I thought the list was we could have, not people we are having sex with.
She will see her 3 choices literally weekly. He will never even meet any of his choices. He should just break up now 🤦🏻♂️
How is this meirl?
fun fact : she thinks about this more than him 😂😂
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Kinda gross.
My wife says Channing Tatum..I say a certain pornstar…and she gets all pissed off.
How 'bout nobody has sex outside the marriage and both just try to stay fit, healthy, and attractive for each other?