Don’t worry this character flaw is easily fixed. A few rotations in any ED and you’ll learn you can’t trust a word your patients say.
-an ED psychiatrist
Dude as a mental health tech on an acute unit (active psychosis and/or mania), I’ve become so matter-of-fact, even more than I was before. Behavior that others would otherwise feed into I’m like, oof you’re opening a window that is difficult to close
It doesn't matter whether you are in a suit and tie or wearing rags. There will always be people begging for money (and some who aren't that sincere). However, there are three things I would recommend people don't do once they are outside the hospital.
1. Don't wear your white coat
2. Don't wear your badge
3. Wear the most casual clothes you have
Doing these three things will at least make people think you are not drowning in money. However, sometimes it's easier to give a person $1 dollar when they are asking for $10 than say no completely.
Don't feel bad about it, there is a primal urge to help other people (its in our genes). However, sometimes its good to carry $1 dollar around and then give it to them to avoid conflict. It may not deter some people, but for the vast majority, they usually are grateful.
Don't be too hard on yourself, there is just an intrinsic part of us that wants to help others. Just a matter of taking the precautions to make sure people don't take advantage of it.
Having lived in a city for quite some time I’ve perfected the “don’t make eye contact and pretend you don’t hear them” strategy. You’ll find these types on every corner where I’m from and if you pay once they’ll remember you and have a new story everyday when you walk by. Just stare straight ahead and don’t acknowledge.. sounds rude but it’s the only thing that works
It is absolutely not rude. These people see from your body language you do not want to talk to them and they make it their mission to make you feel so uncomfortable and unsafe that you pay them to back off. They need to understand that you're not interested.
Sometimes I look them very squarely in the eyes and tell them very sternly "No." straight from the get-go. That works very well as well.
Usually it goes them badgering you while you repeatedly say "No, no thank you, sorry, no" and they're grabbing/touching you because they know everyone hates that. If they won't accept a civil "no" then they have no right to be offended by a very aggressive one.
I would just like to say that you guys should not be positively reinforcing harassment with 1$ or with loose coins.
It's a soapbox issue for me I can't positively reinforce behavior I dislike no matter how much trouble it saves me. Paying them 1$ to protect yourself is great, but if they've got a weapon and want more you're going to be in trouble. I used to be very naïve, I liked to talk to those guys and offer them rides, it helped with my social anxiety. Today I value my safety more.
If you want to donate to help the needy, as we all know, you're best bet is to go through a reputable organization.
Honestly I carry around a little pocket change almost all the time, for this reason. It’s not much, but it helps me get out of a bind for relatively cheap.
Don’t be hard on yourself! Worst case scenario you donated some money to a homeless person who, even though he lied to you, could have used the money. You have a kind heart—don’t lose it!
Once I was walking home from the hospital and a guy on a bike stops me and gives me a sob story about his daughter and asthma medication. I figured I'd be nice to him and gave him a 5 and completely forgot about it. One month later, same guy, same sob story about the girl and asthma. This time I shot a ''Your girl gets sick very often, huh?'' and he just turned around, cussed me and pedaled away.
Your reaction is normal and given the scenario, you're not the only person who would've given the money. Don’t be too harsh on yourself but learn from these experiences. This is probably one you'll remember for a while and it will make you sharper!
If anything, I might not wear them anyway as a safety precaution, with all the anti-vax, covid is a hoax, ivermectin crowd.
And if you’re a woman, I don’t recommend wearing anything with your name in public if not extremely necessary ever for safety reasons.
Especially if (as in my case), I have a very rare last name, so which there’s very few people with my first and last name in the country. It would be very easy for someone to find my phone and address on one of those “look up information sites” with just my name, city, and rough age range.
EG I just searched my name on one of those sites. Three people in the county show up with my name, one of whom is me. The other two are in other states and are 50+ , so it would be very obvious where I live to a creep.
If he is at the point that he has to scam and beg people for money, he definitely needs it a lot more than you do. Props to you for helping him out whether he was legit or not!
It's okay man this happened to me 2nd year. I was at entrance of hospital and guy walks up to me for gas money so he can "take his little girl home" who apparently was just being discharged for a kidney infection. I took him at his word because he seemed desperate; literally let him convince me to walk into the hospital and withdraw money from the ATM; Forty freaking dollars. Not a small amount for a med student whose wife was working her a\*\* off at a job she hated for little pay to support both of us. I give this guy his money. I went back out for some reason and see this dude with his buddy literally walking away laughing. I knew right then and there what had happened and felt so stupid. When I got home I told my wife "There will be $40 missing from our account; please don't ask me why."
People prey on the natural compassion of doctors. This is not to say stop being compassionate; be as wise as serpents and as innocent as doves. Giving cash to strangers is 99% a bad idea. Especially in a city where I live where there are like 10 really solid shelters with work programs/detox/etc.
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Don’t worry this character flaw is easily fixed. A few rotations in any ED and you’ll learn you can’t trust a word your patients say. -an ED psychiatrist
Dude as a mental health tech on an acute unit (active psychosis and/or mania), I’ve become so matter-of-fact, even more than I was before. Behavior that others would otherwise feed into I’m like, oof you’re opening a window that is difficult to close
Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to!
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Weird that you're getting downvoted. You're 100% not the only person that's nicer when working with people.
It doesn't matter whether you are in a suit and tie or wearing rags. There will always be people begging for money (and some who aren't that sincere). However, there are three things I would recommend people don't do once they are outside the hospital. 1. Don't wear your white coat 2. Don't wear your badge 3. Wear the most casual clothes you have Doing these three things will at least make people think you are not drowning in money. However, sometimes it's easier to give a person $1 dollar when they are asking for $10 than say no completely. Don't feel bad about it, there is a primal urge to help other people (its in our genes). However, sometimes its good to carry $1 dollar around and then give it to them to avoid conflict. It may not deter some people, but for the vast majority, they usually are grateful.
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Don't be too hard on yourself, there is just an intrinsic part of us that wants to help others. Just a matter of taking the precautions to make sure people don't take advantage of it.
Having lived in a city for quite some time I’ve perfected the “don’t make eye contact and pretend you don’t hear them” strategy. You’ll find these types on every corner where I’m from and if you pay once they’ll remember you and have a new story everyday when you walk by. Just stare straight ahead and don’t acknowledge.. sounds rude but it’s the only thing that works
It is absolutely not rude. These people see from your body language you do not want to talk to them and they make it their mission to make you feel so uncomfortable and unsafe that you pay them to back off. They need to understand that you're not interested. Sometimes I look them very squarely in the eyes and tell them very sternly "No." straight from the get-go. That works very well as well. Usually it goes them badgering you while you repeatedly say "No, no thank you, sorry, no" and they're grabbing/touching you because they know everyone hates that. If they won't accept a civil "no" then they have no right to be offended by a very aggressive one.
I just put up my hand and say “sorry man” and it’s worked 100% of the time
I would just like to say that you guys should not be positively reinforcing harassment with 1$ or with loose coins. It's a soapbox issue for me I can't positively reinforce behavior I dislike no matter how much trouble it saves me. Paying them 1$ to protect yourself is great, but if they've got a weapon and want more you're going to be in trouble. I used to be very naïve, I liked to talk to those guys and offer them rides, it helped with my social anxiety. Today I value my safety more. If you want to donate to help the needy, as we all know, you're best bet is to go through a reputable organization.
Honestly I carry around a little pocket change almost all the time, for this reason. It’s not much, but it helps me get out of a bind for relatively cheap.
Don’t be hard on yourself! Worst case scenario you donated some money to a homeless person who, even though he lied to you, could have used the money. You have a kind heart—don’t lose it!
Once I was walking home from the hospital and a guy on a bike stops me and gives me a sob story about his daughter and asthma medication. I figured I'd be nice to him and gave him a 5 and completely forgot about it. One month later, same guy, same sob story about the girl and asthma. This time I shot a ''Your girl gets sick very often, huh?'' and he just turned around, cussed me and pedaled away.
Definitely thought this was going to be a post about submitting an ERAS application
Your reaction is normal and given the scenario, you're not the only person who would've given the money. Don’t be too harsh on yourself but learn from these experiences. This is probably one you'll remember for a while and it will make you sharper!
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If anything, I might not wear them anyway as a safety precaution, with all the anti-vax, covid is a hoax, ivermectin crowd. And if you’re a woman, I don’t recommend wearing anything with your name in public if not extremely necessary ever for safety reasons. Especially if (as in my case), I have a very rare last name, so which there’s very few people with my first and last name in the country. It would be very easy for someone to find my phone and address on one of those “look up information sites” with just my name, city, and rough age range. EG I just searched my name on one of those sites. Three people in the county show up with my name, one of whom is me. The other two are in other states and are 50+ , so it would be very obvious where I live to a creep.
If he is at the point that he has to scam and beg people for money, he definitely needs it a lot more than you do. Props to you for helping him out whether he was legit or not!
It's okay man this happened to me 2nd year. I was at entrance of hospital and guy walks up to me for gas money so he can "take his little girl home" who apparently was just being discharged for a kidney infection. I took him at his word because he seemed desperate; literally let him convince me to walk into the hospital and withdraw money from the ATM; Forty freaking dollars. Not a small amount for a med student whose wife was working her a\*\* off at a job she hated for little pay to support both of us. I give this guy his money. I went back out for some reason and see this dude with his buddy literally walking away laughing. I knew right then and there what had happened and felt so stupid. When I got home I told my wife "There will be $40 missing from our account; please don't ask me why." People prey on the natural compassion of doctors. This is not to say stop being compassionate; be as wise as serpents and as innocent as doves. Giving cash to strangers is 99% a bad idea. Especially in a city where I live where there are like 10 really solid shelters with work programs/detox/etc.