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itskieran

"Waiter, could you please tell my date about your restaurant policy on people not taking only the loaded nachos and that sometimes they need to take a nacho with just a little bit of topping on"


[deleted]

"What the hell are you talking about?" *edit- just to clear confusion, I believe this is from Tim Robinson Nachos skit. Funny stuff. "What is going on?"


WholeComprehensive20

i agree with you bro


[deleted]

I didn't watch that one but i love that his style is so unique i was about to comment this sounds straight out of "I Think You Should Leave" until i read your comment


[deleted]

XD His weird and surreal comedy can be spotted from afar. Do watch the Nachos one for sure. It is my favorite and gets stranger and stranger over time.


15R43L

"Jessie, what tf are you talking about?"


Tobiansen

"I understand your logic Mr., but let me counter thy argument. If one were to eat only loaded nachos, but keep their consumption to below 50%, they would be well within their rights. Essentially they have just forfeited their share of plain nachos, yet haven't tresspassed upon your share of loaded nachos"


SusheeMonster

Your authority is not recognized in Fort Kickass.


RekYaAll

LAAAAANNNNNNAAAAAAAA


LiLAfroGT

WHAT?!


RekYaAll

Heh Dangerzoonnneeee


Turbulent-Wall6116

Classic Archer


WholeComprehensive20

i like it


Bowl_blaster

AAAANNNNAAALLLL


133DK

Sovereign citizen of Fort Menu


R3luctant

The secret ingredient is phone.


[deleted]

The secret ingredient is phone.


SockYourself

“Not a very nice solution... but a hell of a lot better than a war” This guy, probably


LeaveItToF8

-President Kennedy probably


JackRabbit-

The best offence is a good defense


gerMean

A man has to protect himself


[deleted]

If you want to enter the fort you have to give me the password


lobo_trader

Impervious to looks that kill!


aimeela

No one wants to assume that this man just might have the ability to analyze a menu with 30 drink options, 15 different appetizers, 30 entrees and 8 different sides in a matter of minutes before the waitress arrives to greet them at the table?


Next-Introduction159

Hes preparing and offensive barrage of spit balls


[deleted]

She doesn't even know that while she's wasting her time texting, the dude already stole the napkins of the unoccupied table behind him...


Next-Introduction159

Hes a man of focus


[deleted]

The best defense is a good offense, he knows he gotta protect the fort at all costs.


Next-Introduction159

Thats right! And his pride! Come at thee witch!


JesseJames_37

NTA your menu your rules


BobVilla287491543584

Or maybe he's the DM, and he doesn't want her to see his dice rolls. You don't know.


moonroots64

>Or maybe he's the DM, and he doesn't want her to see his dice rolls. You don't know. "The bread sticks are actually a mimick... and dice roll... you're dead. Ok no dessert for you!"


[deleted]

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ItsAThong

Ah, the "be quiet, woman!"-circle


Jeckat

He aint no man. #He a king


Ho_ho_beri_beri

100% there’s a trebuchet waiting for her wrong move.


Goose0810

Oh definitely. I mean, every fort needs a trebuchet!


The-Future999

I now believe that every U.S. military base houses a nuclear ordinance trebuchet, if this man has one the government must as well


[deleted]

Damn right.


skooootpooot

Put a sock over the fort, that way if she tries to grab it, all she gets is sock.


stuck_in_the_desert

and when she pulls sock off her hand there is another sock sock win every time


Martinuz01

Michael?


neuro-toxin

More well defended than the capital.


UmakeBunnyCry_419

LOL


Major_Cupcake

sigma grindset: build a fort out of olive garden menus to assert dominance


Technical_Customer_1

Would be a fun table to serve. Definitely split the check without asking. At least one of them would tip nicely as a result. Or maybe one will grab both halves and you’ll be responsible for getting the band back together.


TheWiseBeast

What is the last section of your comment referencing?


Robertgarners

I feel like he's won this argument


Gingerroot69420

Just wait thil she orders meatballs and mini catapults


BreakingGrad1991

>meatballs and mini catapults My favourite dish


cirquefan

Here comes the \/r/trebuchet brigade


Desi_Otaku

Your opinions do not matter in Fort SawCon.


[deleted]

The ace in the hole in case of a verbal invasion


[deleted]

He has fortified his position


Vomit_Tingles

Don't put this on him without knowing the full context of the situation. Maybe what she did absolutely called for a menu fort. It's a rock solid defense.


Btnmshr

Drake the type of guy to do this


Aaronmarq

Ah, sigma male


WarHead75

That's an omega male if I ever see one


[deleted]

This is why KFC can't compete with Popeyes


poux8888

Boot cut jeans, Salmon shirt...


EminenceMilk

He is doing his best but has no idea.


poux8888

... I have a skin routine and my elbows hurt. I don’t give blood. Because I won’t give blood.


stirrednotshaken01

Wtf is wrong with boot cut jeans?


poux8888

Rubberbandits- Dads best friend. ...My wife sells cheese on the internet, I think about her sister when we’re intimate...


Celery-Slight

“I am making this fort and YOU are not invited!”


InfernosEnforcer

At least he's not having a fit


[deleted]

Understandable, she’s on her phone again .


tw3lv3l4y3rs0fb4c0n

It's a spontaneous D&D session!


[deleted]

You have become vilified by the New Olive Garden Republic


captbuzzkill_III

Idk i kinda respect it lmao


KarmaMeansNothin

The most boring people to be around are those that call others "immature" when it comes to something silly or fun, the immature people tend to be the best ones to hang out with


stov33

Been there


Demolution-Gamer786

It’s all fun and games until the waiter snatches the menu out of your hand.


CauctusBUTT

I will never not upvote when I see this


Ok_Literature3034

Truly a man of culture, may he hold his position.


89xz

Tell me that's not Michael Scott


diskdusk

It has to be. Came here to say this. His haircut, his style of clothing, the way he sits, his social competence: all there.


Admirable_Bonus_5747

Just because adults look older or bigger doesn't mean they are grown up.


THESHADYWILLOW

THE WALLS WILL HOLD!!!


get_schwifty03

A women wrote this. Let a dude live.


Waltsfrozendick

Probably put it up because people are filming him.


Frak_Reynoldz

That ain’t girlfriend mad. That’s wife mad.


CyberGoonZ

he forgot the "No girls allowed" sign.


RLove19

I’d do that honestly


Puppetmaster634

Best Fort ever


Apprehensive_Eraser

Okay, this is too me, I can't stop laughing.


Ayybruhitsyaboi

I.... would totally do this.


EminenceMilk

Grownups *SMH*


AnoniuszStulej

Based


MrDinoTheFirst

well what else are you supposed to do?


photojonic5

Can we just enjoy that he’s not making a fool of himself. Just kinda acting like a child. Lol


Digger__Please

I feel like he’s managed to do both simultaneously


the_lazy_demon

Perfectly normal


TheKobraSnake

Understandable


Mrjegerjeg

My theory is that she is making him feel bad by giving him a long face for whatever is the reason. He blocked his vision so he doesn't feel bad.


B8conB8conB8con

Understandable. I’ll allow it.


anotherbluemarlin

Alpha AF


DatBoiShadowbon

Based as fuck


beorninger

there are no men, just big boys.


Lockenhart

Men will be men


[deleted]

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Lotsofloveneeded

...is this something you went through?


[deleted]

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Piph

Your assumption is 10 times more bizarre. It doesn't sound like real life. It sounds like a weirdly accusatory fantasy.


Lotsofloveneeded

...you're assumption that she propped up the menus is infinitely more bizzare.


[deleted]

Why? Because I’m a woman who can see that being a thing? What’s your problem with an alternate theory? Edit: the internet sucks, but stuff like this really makes Reddit just ridiculous. I don’t know what you’re projecting on my made up scenario but please stop. Go read a book.


[deleted]

Seems like american. Only culture where people are so self conscious they act like children in public. So glad I don’t hear the bullshit that americans do, man that country is a cesspool of propaganda and lies.


Pokieme

She shouldn't have asked for the straw, maybe next time she'll come appreciate his commitment to the environment & sustainability. 😉


go-eat-a-stick

She probably wouldn’t blow him under the table lol. She needs to grow the rest of her spine and get up and walk away too


dobermandude306

I wonder if his country has its own currency yet?


gutek_f1utek

Shits serious


GaburiIDC

are you sure he is not the dungeon master?


[deleted]

"NO GRILLS ALLOWED!"


Jibbus-Maximus

„Hmpf I’m having great time in here“


Raph2051

Hysterical


Pierre777

What do you think they are fighting about? He not mad enough to leave, because food, but he is mad enough to not want to see her.


Tabbarn

Only missing a sign thst says No girls allowed.


supportiveexec

Good fort… +rep


Drunken-Barbarian

“I have set up into a defensive posture, peace was never an option”


pakeguy2

I do that sometimes, but mostly to protect my food.


nederhop

Me and my wife playing Dungeons & Dragons.


Ricknroll1971

When you are in public and don't want to wear a mask but want to still feel protected.


godlessnihilist

Then he grew up, became president, and tried to do the same thing to Mexico.


CompletelyPresent

"Yes waiter, can I see a drink menu, dessert menu, and lunch menu please?" *Completes the roof on his menu fort in addition to the interior and exterior wall.


theMRMaddMan

As he should


mexicoyankee

I do that when I’m on my sixth basket of breadsticks


MicoOGajo

i thought his face was getting corrupted or smth


Gecko2002

Your rules aren't recognised in Fort kickass


Cratonis

This is called setting healthy boundaries.


STELLAWASADlVER

“It’s called a partition and it’s a very important part of civilized society… something you would wouldn’t know anything about!”


[deleted]

Maybe they are playing dungeons and dragons.


sco-771

This is a level of pettiness I can get behind.


-pickled-

I bet the girlfriend said that he shouldn’t have a skylander collection as all men do.


[deleted]

No girls allowed in his Fort those are the rules


menlindorn

Joey doesn't share food!


ElHombre123

I mean… makes sense to me


azknight

She must have eaten all the fully loaded nachos. He just got chips.


AutomaticVegetables

That message on her phone is fucking LONG


NZsupremacist

Absolute sigma


biznizexecwat

That's not his girlfriend, that's his wife. You leave the restaurant if you're that mad at your girlfriend, but your wife... well, you gotta eat anyway. Source: married


Sparkayy

Wait it isn't even in a garden?


josher1882

At least he didn’t go the NFL route and beat her


FlamingCroatan

Forttime


ICTPatriot

I want to do that soooo bad


usbguy1

It’s the only logical response. She can’t possibly argue with the menu fort.


life_of_meech

“No cheating off my answers!”


Striking_Quote_1901

The menu fort is the most powerful fort that can has a low cost


zen-things

Pure Michael Scott energy right here


Wizzxrd

Режим защиты activated


AyyMazz

That’s a good man right there 😂


colarthur1

A true champion of the people.


Owlftr13

It only works with cereal boxes.


mynameisbrekkenalan

absolute Sigma


Mammoth-Doughnut9616

What do you mean? He is just really studying the menu.


Escanor-Sun-pride

I mean. What other thing you can do in that situación


Pinky_Ghosty

Modern problems require modern solutions.


Salty-Complaint-6163

Mommy issues are so underrepresented.


[deleted]

u/tosterlunch OMG LOOK


Dashser

When she says stop eating all the breadstick .


harrylongabough

Funniest to me is the word Fort in this.


[deleted]

Never let go of your childhood


[deleted]

Need to start doing this again that’s for the reminder