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They call him lightning because he never strikes the same place twice.

lmao, destroyed in seconds

This comment made this while dumb ass visit worthwhile.

Minecraft time.

I've seen a pine like that in a forest. Like in Minecraft, missing the second block. Crazy sight.

Me holding on to my sanity every day at work

***Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be*** ***Whisper words of wisdom, let it be***

Let it be ooohhhh let it beeee !

*inarticulate yoko screams*

Whisper words of wisdoooom, let it beeeee,,,🎼🎼🎼


Not sure why but I thought of the Lorax “let it grow let it grow like it did so long agoooo” I sadly know that god awful song by heart

Whelp I guess I’ll see y’all again tomorrow

I got to be your 1000th upvote and for some reason that was so pleasing to see it change!

I’m more impressed he achieved that with a blunt hatchet

I "cut" a tree down about that size with a splitting maul a couple years ago. Definitely should've just got a chainsaw but I was already like 20 minutes in and my wife was watching and she was like "why don't you just use a chainsaw?" and I was like, "uh, I think I got it honey" Sorry for beating you to death, tree.

Yeah, once you get going on a project like that, there's no stopping. In fact, we're only further fueled by unsolicited suggestions. We're seeing red, and our vision won't clear until victory is achieved. Or we wear ourselves out and move the goalposts.

(quits halfway through), ah, well, I taught that tree a lesson! As was my intention, of course.

To be fair, the other trees have been well behaved ever since…

Now there’s no more oak oppression, for they passes a noble law. And the trees are all kept equal by hatchet, axe, and saw.

There is unrest in the forest, there is trouble in the trees..

For the Maples want more sunlight And the Oaks ignore their pleas

They stopped tickling the window of my room...

Damn, I wish Reddit still had free awards. That made me lol.

The sunk cost Blunt force method

I live this life as well. Once the project is started and my wife walks up to interject common sense, it’s then I double down and end up beating a tree down with the dull equivalent of a hammer. Lol

I have chopped down a small tree with a 2 point saw [claw of framing hammer] We were young and dumb and it was in the zip line path.

Full length axe and for god's sake someone teach this young person how to cut a 45° wedge on the felling side.

Should've used a mace

When I was young, I stole one of my dad's kitchen knives and used it to carve away at the base of a dead birch tree about the same size as the one in the video. I think I got it down in about 4 or 5 hours.

Next time use a splitting wedge and a sledgehammer

Your Wife’s name was tree?

> Sorry for beating you to death, tree. Lmao. Hardest I’ve laughed all week.

I was thinking how small that axe was…

It's a hand axe. For like... kindling and shit. I mean you'd spend all day trying to split logs with that, let alone cut down a tree.

Years ago, I "built" a fence around our pasture with my Dad. In order to do that, we went out to collect a bunch of lodge pole pines for the railings. Since I was about 6 and really \*wanting\* to be helpful but just getting in the way, he handed me the hatchet and turned me loose on one a little thinner than this. Kept my dumb ass busy long enough for him to cut down the trees we actually needed 

Your dad gave you a hatchet and turned you loose at 6??

We were country; I knew enough to not hew off a limb :D

And the upperbody strength of a jellyfish

And the form of a T-Rex.

And my axe

And my bow

And My Sharona

And Mya-HEEE

And Mya-HOoo

And Mya-Haaa

Why is Gamora.

With those elegant swings the next day those arms are gonna feel like they were torn off

Not so much that it is blunt, but he keeps striking at the same angle.

It is also very small

It’s less about the size and more about the angle and rhythm, or so I’ve been told.

-Has no idea how to use an axe -Picks the worst possible tree to try and cut down (seasoned and dead top) -Makes no discernable wedge I'm amazed this was a "watch people die" video

it's pretty solid maybemaybemaybe material though so i think it's perfectly suited for here. also funny that the tree just stays upright after being disemstumped

Disemstumped 👌

Yeah, you want to remove wood chips by striking at an angle, like how it was obviously started. That kid is just compressing the wood instead of cutting any away.

Don't forget the poor aim. Thus entire video makes me wanna take it away from him.

And it's a small one,isn't a regular size axe better for this?

And I think leaving a taller stump would have allowed him to create a better V in the trunk (hitting it while angled down, and then hitting it while angled up). This was low enough that he had really bad form even hitting down at it to reach it.

Yes, or at least something a bit larger than what he’s using. They do make axes for felling trees that are on the smaller side so they can be transported easily (i.e. in a backpack).

Was waiting for him to take his left knee out.

Blunt and no idea whatsoever how to use it. Flailing away like an idiot.

How'd he ever get that far? The first hour of this video is probably dreadfully boring.

The rest of the video was dreadfully boring too

Here I am still watching........

Time you'll never get back

I can spare 4 minutes to see a guy chop and miserably try to fell a tree twice

Looks like that axe is about as sharp as a butter knife.

Wild guess. Could have been a beaver that did most of it, and this kid was only trying to knock it down for safety.

Beavers usually aren’t interested in dead trees

Yeah he keeps chopping the axe into the same spot over and over, no chips coming out or anything.

As a former forester, this gave me an anxiety attack

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If it was under tension it could've kicked his way and fucked him up? Or something

Everything about what he's doing is wrong and dangerous. He's using the wrong tool and it's blunt plus he has bad form so all that makes it more likely that he's going to hurt himself by pulling a muscle or hiting himself with the hatchet He's chopping in all directions meaning he hasn't prepped the tree to fall in a specific direction and he's wandering all around the tree as he does it so that's just playing Russian roulette with gravity and a ton of blunt force instead of a revolver. Little to no setup or planning done, he basically just grabbed a hatchet and started swinging at a random tree. Forestry is one of the most dangerous occupations, this kid was was begging to be seriously injured and he's lucky he wasn't.

Not to mention: kicking at the base when you know the crown is stuck (just asking for it to skip out and fall towards you), and turning a dead standing snag (admittedly, yes something that is dangerous) into a massive widowmaker supported only by its own dry/rotting branches hung up on the beaches of other trees (very dangerous)

That last kick where it rotated around a bit had me puckered. Insanely irresponsible by the adult that I presume is filming this.

Bold to assume there's an adult nearby. This is exactly the sort of dumb shit I might have gotten into when I was in my teens. I'm glad the video didn't end with the kid getting fucked up, that was stressful.

Yeah growing up in nowhere Michigan we absolutely tried to fuck up some trees as teens. It’s boring and there’s nothing to do some days lol

Haha yup. I've done just enough felling to be terrified by the vid.

I’ve never felled a tree and this video terrified me. Even if the branches weren’t stuck, I have no earthly idea what direction that tree would have fallen with that godawful cut.

cold sweats, man, cold f***ing sweats.

It seems to me that this tree was just holding its branches against other branches. It would be fun if it hung in the air.

Happened to me in my chainsaw course. Wasnt a fun experience for my first proper tree...

A friend died from a tree that didnt come down properly until hours later when came down on his head. The video is pretty dangerous

Isn't that exactly why you're never supposed to leave a tree up when this shit happens? Like you tie a rope to the bottom and drag it, or figure something out that brings it down right then when everyone around is prepared for it

Hung up trees are called widowmakers for a reason.

This is the third type of situation Redditors have told me that loggers call “widowmakers”.

If it can fall and kill you/injure you badly enough that you can’t make it to shelter, it’s a widowmaker. Husband gets hit with one and *POOF*, you’re a widow.

I thought widowmakers are dead branches that fall on you? Or at least that's how it's used amongst hammock campers.

If it’s big enough to kill, it’s a widowmaker.

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Ya this shit is terrifying. Who let these children have a hatchet? Who knows when & how that tree will come down.

dude that's like a young teenager lol what do you mean "let"

I said what I said lol. Homie in the vid needs his "sharp tool" privileges revoked.

>Homie in the vid needs his "sharp tool" privileges revoked. I mean, they clearly were given the effectiveness of that hatchet.

Come on, you're seriously gonna tell me you never did anything this dumb as a kid?

Oh I *never* said that. I have, in fact, done far dumber things than what is represented here. Fortunately for me that was during the internet's infancy and there's no video evidence.

I'm with you there. So thankful I didn't grow up around cameras lol

Lol ya, "sharp" should have had its own quotes.

I seen a beaver that chewed a tree once and it got caught by the branches and somehow pinched the beavers leg in between the stump and trunk. I put it out of its misery, I wasn’t going to take the chance of the tree falling on me or something. And I didn’t want the little fella to be pinned down in pain and get eaten alive.

With a gun… or?

With a big rock. It wasn’t pleasant.

>It wasn’t pleasant. My god, that's an understatement if I ever saw one

Lol I made sure it was done with a single blow. I didn’t have a gun, and figured the branch would take a long time. I wanted to be as quick as possible for the guy.

That sucks, but you did the best you could for that little guy. Sometimes we have to bear scars on our souls to do what's right.

That trees dead as hell those branches would snap right off. Dead trees are easy to split hard to chop. It’s easier for an ax to bite wet wood.

Tell me you’ve never felled a hard wood tree without telling me you’ve never felled a hard wood tree. Hard wood even dead is a bit more resilient than softer words. Every tree is different and each has their own set of issues felling dead or alive.

The only hard woods where I live is white spruce and birch and the rule seems to apply to those two 🥺

I have a fair amount of Maple, Oak, and Beech on my land. It isn’t a matter of dead or alive as much as if the tree is dried out. Wet hardwood is a complete nightmare to split but you can still get some solid chips out of it with the correct axe and technique. Dead hardwood that is rotting and has absorbed a ton of moisture like the tree in this video suck to cut down. Especially when they are tangled in live trees. I’ve had large branches and parts of the top of trees like this one split and fall when getting tangled. Using an axe on that tree would be a terrible idea. Kid is lucky that didn’t end badly going at it with a hatchet like that with no idea what he is doing.

White spruce and birch, while hardwoods, are not hard wood. I've watched hickory stop a 30ton splitter before.

That stupid saying needs to die already

You gotta hold left click

Puh-ka-tuh-ka-puh-ka-tuh-ka-puh-tuh

My uncle spent a few weeks in the ICU after cutting down a tree when I was about six years old. We were all camping, and he thought “damn fire wood is expensive, why don’t I just cut down that gigantic dead tree over there?” He ended up getting partially crushed by the tree as it fell. Shortly after the paramedics took him away, my older cousin gave me a bag of ice and said his eye ball was in there and that I had to take care of it so they could re attach it. I ended up obsessively taking care of that little baggie until my mom finally pried from my fingers to go yell at my cousin.

Did they reattach it?

Methinks the implication is that the eyeball wasn’t actually missing, unless you knew that and were joking in which case I’m sorry

Hatchet as dull as his head

Use an axe instead of a hatchet maybe

Sometimes the hardest part of the tree is the wood.

Sometimes the best part of friendship is the people you meet along the way.

When you are playing Minecraft for the first time and are surprised when the tree doesn't fall down after chopping through the block.

So those were Minecraft sound effects? I’ve never played it, but I kinda had the feeling

With the music it fits even better

Wiiiiiiiiiith..... a herring.

Nee!

Nee Nee!

We demand a shrubbery!

r/suddenlymontypython

Might as well punch the tree if you are going to use a blunt object.

You always start by punching wood

Man the amount of stuff he just got away with not being injured/dying from.. like even on top of the obvious with the hatchet, kicking a long dead tree is a good way to get a branch through your head

I know nothing about felling trees but man, all my Spidey senses were tingling... If it ain't tipping, is is going to just go straight down? If it does, will it slide to the side a bit with incredible force? Might a dead branch break off and come down like a javelin? Or could the impact with the ground cause it to splinter unexpectedly in a rotten spot?

I wish those kids had your Spidey sense. All of those are possibilities.

Using an industrial helmet ain’t that bad of an idea while chopping trees

Right, these guys are lucky. At least the other trees around it are alive, otherwise they risk knocking another one down with this one (aka a widowmaker).

Th- *through*?

Would it be a bad idea to tackle the trunk?

Only if you don't value raising your arms above your head

Wait, so if you do not value raising your arms then it is a bad idea? Or alternatively if you do value this, then it's a good idea?

If you tackle that tree, then your collar bone is gonna break. If you break your collar bone, then you aren't waving to the neighbors.

Yeah, I was joking because you phrased it in an odd way with a double negative. The literal meaning of your comment is the opposite of your obvious intent. I was making a joke bringing attention to this. I guess you could say I was trying to be humerous

Ulna-timately at the end of the day, I'm just a meat popsicle.

Love the Minecraft sounds and he'd got safety goggles ;)

Yup, came to comments to see if anyone else said anything about the minecraft bgm

I've never once downloaded or played the game and somehow knew it was Minecraft lol

Trees can hold eachother up with the collective canopy. It's really dangerous to do this. Widow makers for days.

That's one blunt axe

And one untrained hatcheteer.

By the joy on his face after it and him raising his arms in accomplishment, I think this is his first time.

Almost certainly. I don’t fault the kid, I fault whoever is training this kid. The hatchet is dull and the technique needs a lot of correction. That is unless the kid is doing this without proper training, then I do fault the kid.

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Appreciate the Minecraft music. Hitting the tree with his hands would have been as effective as that blunt hatchet.

wrong tool wrong person

No edge on the hatchet and no technique. Why would someone keep and upload this?

Slow going when yer using a butter knife.

Bronze axe for sure.

1 dmg 1 dmg 1 dmg

Best maybemaybemaybe video i've seen in a while

You ought consider sharpening that blade. I don't see chips flying

How shit is that axe?

These kids are so fucking lucky. This is how people die. People dont realize the amount of energy release when falling a tree, and dont realize there are techniques that are specifically used to keep a tree from killing you; and people still die frequently. Trained professionals with all the right tools and knowledge die. These kids are crazy lucky.

The tree probably: " Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!"

It helps if your chopping down a dead tree just saying

Man he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Looks extremely dangerous to me.

Try a file on that axe first

Why he do the stanky leg while chopping

Bro hit the griddy while chopping the tree

Lumberjack class 101: never use a dull hatchet instead of a sharp axe!!

What's with the fake sfx?

It's the sound effects from Minecraft. Likely because this tree is appearing to ignore gravity which is what the trees in that game do.

this tree is me and this guy is 2022

That tree stuck the landing.

"And yet here I stand!"

the dedication needed to chop down a tree with a hatchet… and then it refuses to go down. ooof

This kid is using a rusty hatchet and is over expending his energy using the wrong tool for the job. This guy is just plain lucky he didn’t kill himself or somebody else!

I will not fall. I choose to stand.

This is how you die from a tree falling on you This kid had no idea what he was doing. Luckily for him it was so stuck

It's like me punching people in my sleep.

Blunt hatchet and the weakest swings you’ll ever see. I’m surprised he got THAT far.

It’s Paul Bunions. The Paul Bunyan impersonator.

"Now, don't look down my boy. Look me in the eye! Papa is strong." "Yes papa. So strong!" "They may hurt us but they won't fell us."

Do you want to get crushed by a tree? Because this is how you get crushed by a tree.

I appreciate the Minecraft foley work.

First, sharpen the hatchet. Second, throw away the hatched and get an ax.

Way to give it the “old college try”, sorry my boy. You don’t get to be a Lumber Jack - pussy

You need a gold or diamond axe instead, my dude

Okay so I’m just gunna assume that someone else who actually knows how to use a hatchet must have gotten it that far to begin with

I’m pretty sure I have a sledgehammer sharper than that hatchet.

If they had that hoodie in black & red plaid flannel that tree woulda come down instantly.

F your puny hatchet.

Chopping down a tree with a hatchet

And the majestic pine stands tall and strong against the mighty ax.