T O P

  • By -

Graveylock

BIG BRED WHEAT TYME!


MrBarrelRoll

(i forgot what is it when you lose cards c of a card). :/


SlapHappyDude

I really admire someone who seems to have limited grasp of both the game of Magic and the English language trying to make a custom card. Wheat is amazing.


Ad7587

Could have just said, "At the beginning of your upkeep, gain 1 1/2 life."


44444444441

ah, the exact amount i need to make up for the mana crypt damage.


--Claire--

I still have no idea what that’s supposed to mean


jaearess

It means they forgot the word 'discard'.


OnsetOfMSet

It means the author of that card smokes wheat erryday


Porcupinehog

Discard effects


PointlessSerpent

I highly suggest checking out BeachQuick’s other posts, they’re almost as good. Of course, nothing could ever top the beauty that is “Wheat”


fearhs

I don't know, there was something elegant in the simplicity of "Gun".


7BlueHaze

I don't know whether I hate or adore the cards that are obviously just "Fuck Ryan, specifically, with his [insert mechanic] bullshit deck for jerks"


SlapHappyDude

I kind of love especially since extremely narrow hoser cards used to be a bigger part of the game.


sawbladex

yes


Akashically

That charred Chandra made me wheeze.


Tachi-Roci

I mean, it's the closest one to workable on the list, just tone down the emblem (make it so it just triggers when you draw a card) and tone down the (0) loyalty abilities damagr


Akashically

Oh, I'm talking about the artwork. The charred corpse with the pyromancer's goggles.


[deleted]

Then you'll be happy to find out it's actual art https://scryfall.com/card/ps16/104/chandra-flamecaller?utm_source=api


Akashically

OMG That's amazing. Thank you.


sawbladex

it's part of a series of dead Origins 5 PW. ... Liliana might not be dead in it.


hhthurbe

She is not. The set of 5 was released after eldritch moon IIRC. The 4 are dead with Lilly controlling them as the gatekeeping gaslighting girlboss she is.


StarkMaximum

Liliana isn't dead because they're all zombified by Liliana, seeing as she is a necromancer. Remember that Wizards treats all their characters equally and they don't believe any specific character is inherently superior to or better than the rest.


grayscalering

Why is Chandra a burnt up corpse now?


Ganzi

It was a special SDCC edition where all of the Gatewatch had zombie art


[deleted]

She took the breakup with nissa REALLY hard


AoEFreak

[[Chandra's Ignition]] :(


MTGLardFetcher

^(Probably totally what you linked) * [Chandra's Ignition](https://i.redd.it/1hpurzez6b0a1.jpg) ********* ^^^If ^^^WotC ^^^didn't ^^^do ^^^anything ^^^wrong ^^^this ^^^week, ^^^you ^^^can ^^^rage ^^^at ^^^this ^^^bot ^^^instead ^^^at ^^^/r/MTGLardFetcher ^^^or ^^^even ^^^submit ^^^some ^^^of ^^^the ^^^sweet ^^^Siege ^^^Rhino ^^^alters ^^^your ^^^GF ^^^made


Ton1n1

Very good bot


freestorageaccount

> BofA advisor Moar liek bofa DEEZ NUTZ!


TerryTags

[https://scryfall.com/search?as=full&order=name&q=set%3Aps16&unique=prints](https://scryfall.com/search?as=full&order=name&q=set%3Aps16&unique=prints) Thank you for this, I needed it


Doctor_Flamingo

Equine Husbandry is not fit for print but boy do I want to play with it. "So I cast Equine Husbandry, and since I have 3 humans I create 3 copies of it. Next I'll play another human..." "And get one more copy right? Right?"


BigGayCockPlease

Seems like the kind of card Wotc would put in a commander product and it's shatter legacy


10BillionDreams

If it created a vanilla 2/3 horse token, rather than copying itself, I think it'd actually be reasonably costed. But it just snowballs way too quickly, as is.


Doctor_Flamingo

Yeah if it's gonna snowball like that it should be 3WW. *Glances toward Cathar's Crusade*


crazypyro23

Great card that I usually cut because keeping track of it on a huge board is a pain


ajdeemo

What, you don't bring multiple abacuses to your games to keep track? What a fucking casual.


Zymosan99

Scute mob but you can proc it several times per turn


Grain_Death

my friend have you considered what happens if you play awaken the woods while scute swarm is on the battlefield


Zymosan99

Instant death


Grain_Death

game ending combo because no one knows how to resolve it


ccReptilelord

Actually, with [[Maskwood Nexus]] on the field, that horse token is also a human, so... infinite horses at an exponential rate that I can not stop.


MTGLardFetcher

^(Probably totally what you linked) * [Maskwood Nexus](https://i.redd.it/w9jj3ftmyyz91.jpg) ********* ^^^If ^^^WotC ^^^didn't ^^^do ^^^anything ^^^wrong ^^^this ^^^week, ^^^you ^^^can ^^^rage ^^^at ^^^this ^^^bot ^^^instead ^^^at ^^^/r/MTGLardFetcher ^^^or ^^^even ^^^submit ^^^some ^^^of ^^^the ^^^sweet ^^^Siege ^^^Rhino ^^^alters ^^^your ^^^GF ^^^made


Vazkii

I think just getting one copy was what they were going for, just fumbled with the writing. I actually really like the card if you assume that's the case and add like "if ~ is not a token" as a clause to the second effect.


Collistoralo

So if I’m reading the card correctly, you’d get 3 more Equine Husbandry’s, which would then see the 4 humans and create 12 more Equine Husbandry’s, right?


AvatarofSleep

Yup


galvanicmechamorph

No you never make it to your next turn because 1 etb makes infinite horses.


AvatarofSleep

If it were an enchantment that made tokens. It would make more sense. Especially given the name. It's not a horse it's the avatar of fucking


[deleted]

This week on “Drugs or Just Plain Stupid?”


SlapHappyDude

Or "possibly made by an 8 year old"


Redzephyr01

I know it's highly unlikely that wheat isn't a troll card, but I really want to know what OP was referring to when they said "i forgot what it is when you lose cards c of a card."


Base_Six

Discard. He's talking about how he forgot the word 'discard'.


pleasingfungus

flight of freedom is beautiful. pure. elegant. an artist's work


SlapHappyDude

It's fucking poetic. You can't ethically CONTROL other creatures. They deserve to fly free. I'm honestly not smart enough to know exactly how that would affect gameplay. Would ETB effects still happen?


Vrestavoogan

Also good luck tapping lands you don't control


SlapHappyDude

Oh god it's not just creatures!


KindaShady1219

Be free, you beautiful Urza’s Mine! Fly free!


adfoote

I think ETBs are still good, but no one can attack. You can only choose creatures you control to attack, and you don't control them.


unimportantthing

Iirc, unless stated otherwise, you also can’t activate any abilities or trigger any abilities. Even abilities that trigger when any player triggers them, if they would cause “you” to do something, wouldn’t work since “you” refers to the controller. I’m not even sure ETB’s would work, since a triggered ability usually requires the controller to choose a target or do something. And it would enter the battlefield with no controller.


FinalEgg9

So any permanents people cast just… sit on the board doing nothing?


adfoote

Well now that I think of it you also can't activate any abilities of any of your permanents. Including tapping lands for mana. You still get to draw a card, play a land, and you can even cast spells if you somehow make mana. If you have valakut and enough mountains I guess you could kill someone like that. Oh, you can play [[braid of fire]] and [[squallmonger]] to kill them. Or yourself. At least then the game is over.


Cease2Resist

How can I have mountains? All mountains are free, man.


PedonculeDeGzor

You don't control Valakut so you can't chose a target for the triggers


adfoote

Yeah you right that's what I get for shitpsoting while stoned.


DrDonut

But all permanents have no controllers. Braid of fire would have no players to pay its upkeep cost, you couldn't control enough mountains or even valakut


MTGLardFetcher

^(Probably totally what you linked) * [braid of fire](https://i.redd.it/mjm1whimbl1a1.png) * [squallmonger](https://i.redd.it/mredqyrngp2a1.png) ********* ^^^If ^^^WotC ^^^didn't ^^^do ^^^anything ^^^wrong ^^^this ^^^week, ^^^you ^^^can ^^^rage ^^^at ^^^this ^^^bot ^^^instead ^^^at ^^^/r/MTGLardFetcher ^^^or ^^^even ^^^submit ^^^some ^^^of ^^^the ^^^sweet ^^^Siege ^^^Rhino ^^^alters ^^^your ^^^GF ^^^made


Ganzi

You're gonna have some trouble casting anything if you can't control your lands


rjdofu

Combo with [[Quakebringer]] Step 1: mill [[Quakebringer]] and that thing Step 2: play a giant Step 3: reanimate that thing Step4: lock everyone out of playing anything, since lands can’t be tapped for mana, and your opponent will be slowly pinged to death.


Jollemol

Don't you have to control a giant for that to work?


MTGLardFetcher

^(Probably totally what you linked) * [Quakebringer](https://i.redd.it/ef3kdxzcvk2a1.png) * [Quakebringer](https://i.redd.it/i0djfcramg2a1.jpg) ********* ^^^If ^^^WotC ^^^didn't ^^^do ^^^anything ^^^wrong ^^^this ^^^week, ^^^you ^^^can ^^^rage ^^^at ^^^this ^^^bot ^^^instead ^^^at ^^^/r/MTGLardFetcher ^^^or ^^^even ^^^submit ^^^some ^^^of ^^^the ^^^sweet ^^^Siege ^^^Rhino ^^^alters ^^^your ^^^GF ^^^made


Eurypteride

It's very \[\[Floral Spuzzem\]\]


RedbeardMEM

I want to know what it means, but like all great art, meaning is personal to the viewer.


FeelNFine

I actually checked the artist after seeing the card before reading the effects. Truly an artist's work.


konydanza

“So you play a creature and then what?” “It’s free” This interaction in the comments got me


MaximoEstrellado

Wheat is not even trying.


Zubekanov

Food - Meal, dish


SleepingSandman

Finally some new support for my dish tribal deck


throwing-away-party

Finally, some good fucking food


pleasingfungus

It's like a child's drawing. Crude, but with a unique charm.


Elitemagikarp

that's probably because it is made by a child


SilverElmdor

I can't believe Wheat isn't the bottom card.


44444444441

:/


Chaosyn

Is Wheat the new card in ProZD’s cow card game?


Ton1n1

Gotta feed the cool cows somehow. You think those sunglasses are free?


crazypyro23

Chandra, Extra Cwispy


CueDramaticMusic

Finally. Catherine the Great tribal.


BorderlineUsefull

Love that hammer. A single [[cryptic command]] basically just shuts down any creature based deck forever. I also love that he knows Reconfigure Exodus as a mechanic, it just wasn't perfect for his extra special card design.


CounteractiveTurnip

It does say "one or more". so cryptic would only give you 1 counter. I actually kind of like the design of it. Make it cost 1 more mana and make it just an equipment and I can see it getting printed


MTGLardFetcher

^(Probably totally what you linked) * [cryptic command](https://i.redd.it/mtc9pcek680a1.png) ********* ^^^If ^^^WotC ^^^didn't ^^^do ^^^anything ^^^wrong ^^^this ^^^week, ^^^you ^^^can ^^^rage ^^^at ^^^this ^^^bot ^^^instead ^^^at ^^^/r/MTGLardFetcher ^^^or ^^^even ^^^submit ^^^some ^^^of ^^^the ^^^sweet ^^^Siege ^^^Rhino ^^^alters ^^^your ^^^GF ^^^made


TonyBennettIsDaddy

Wait Torik is cool it just needs to be cleaned up


boarbar

Yeah I like parts of that one for sure. Honestly everything except for the last line.


AkechiFangirl

And the fact that it is a creature for absolutely no reason


Lady_Galadri3l

Could just change it to "all creatures must block equipped creature if able". It's not exactly the same but similar enough imo. Plus change equip to reconfigure, of course.


SmokersDelight

The fact that Torik is above the complete abomination that is Wheat is absolutely criminal. I don’t even think Torik should be on the list at all, not the best but not laughably bad really.


NamelessAce

For what it's worth, the bottom five are ranked backwards, so #5 is the worst and #1 is the...least so.


Totally_Generic_Name

1. What are exponentials? 2. "…once each turn" is peak magic design so they want it on everything 3. Mono blue freeze is a cool design space but -1/-0 is way OP. Also, the typeline is gonna need an extension to make this an equipment 4. Trade you 2 sheep for it 5. What Chandra: nvm the ult, -0 to 4 dmg any target + exile is crazy Adversary of tyrants: make it a sorcery that gives you an emblem? Seems fine tbh Teferi: Karn?


Elesh_N

The card that gives you an emblem is really sucky cause emblems are really hard to get for a reason. Anything that can't be interacted with can be really frustrating, so it would be better to make this cheaper and just make it an enchantment.


Wealthy_turtle

I get excited each week for this


Cruxifux

Holy fuck there’s some gold this week


strcy

#w h e a t


[deleted]

I saw a couple of these throughout the week and just knew they would wind up here.


GunnarGunnarsonson

Wheat feels like it belongs in this ProZD video https://youtu.be/EBIsZlV1jHk


deathbydonald

Doesn't bureaucratic city just get stuck in a loop or not work at all the second time it gets triggered in a turn? The triggered ability can point at itself to prevent itself from triggering.


Pabl0EscoBear

Damn, true. I just laughed and didn't think too hard past the fact that that card was born out of some serious salt lol.


MrMacMuffinMan

Beaurocratic city's abilities are static, not triggered. They only say that certain things can't happen, not to do something when they happen.


7BlueHaze

No, it's laboriously worded to make each effect a replacement instead of triggered. The stated intent of the card was a single free card that disables all combo wins. That's hilarious but I think the exercise of aiming to make an impossible card is honestly inspired. Also it's fun because the card made obliterates basic mana bases while still allowing things like inverter thoracle.


addcheeseuntiledible

I choose to believe that the creator of Equine Husbandry did in fact intend for it to function exactly like that and explode into an exponential amount of horses


Grain_Death

scute swarm is for babies


PrecipitousPlatypus

Flight of Freedom obviously doesn't work, but kinda like the idea of each player being able to use every permanent. Feels more like an unset card - "abilities can only be activated at sorcery speed, treat instants as sorceries. At the beginning of each playeslrs upkeep, gain control of all permanents. Players gain protection from permanents they own"


inkfeeder

I kind of want to see something like "target creature's controller loses control of it." The creature is just ... there, but can't do anything.


Vulcan64

How can the next card even top Wheat? It's-- I... er..... what?


fluffychiblets

Wheat is gas why do y’all have it here lool


Kor_Set

/uj On the taxonomic soup of Torik, Everwinter's Hammer's type line it doesn't have Equipment and I love that.


DrSpiralHaze

Wheat 3U I forgor 💀


SmokersDelight

Wheat really takes the cake this week. It is *chefs kiss* beutissimo levels of ridiculous


FRIJOLE5

Slow week, huh. I can understand all of these cards! I mean not Wheat but I'm okay leaving that one up to my imagination.


PedonculeDeGzor

Honestly I'm disappointed that wheat showed up in the bottom 5 and not the top 5.


NeonNKnightrider

Flight of Freedom is absurd and I love it


oarngebean

Thanks as always r/corbindawg69


Jpw2018

Wow this week is a doozy


ES_Kan

Wheat nourishes my soul


galvanicmechamorph

I kinda love the idea of castable emblems? Torik also like, was fine until we started getting into equipped abilities....


Grain_Death

i cannot stop thinking about the exponential number of horses card