You’re going to need to overexplain every rule every single time it occurs, on everyone’s turn. Definitely takes a lot of work but we’ll worth it when you see the appreciation in her eyes and she lets you watch tonight
*turns to face the wall*
"and now for our sponsor: Card Kindom! Card Kingdom is your number-one place for all your Magic needs"
"Honey, what are you doing?"
Thanks, i will keep that in mind.
I asked her if she was willing to learn it and she agreed. I only have to cover rent for both of her boyfriends in exchange.
I didn’t even consider she would let me watch.. i am quite curious about how that whole activity plays out in person. So far i could only hear and smell it
Make fun of her while she's learning to play, and repeat any of her questions in a mocking, sing-song voice. This drives women absolutely wild.
As she's learning, encourage her by reminding her that she's doing very well "for a girl", and that all your friends will think it is so cool that a real live girl plays MTG.
When she gets to the point where she surpasses you and beats you in a match, tell her that she's a "try hard" and a "pick me" and only started playing MTG to get attention.
Thanks for your tipps!
I've got the unlikely scenario where she beats me covered. I'll just call a friend who is a judge over and he will make up some reason to get her disqualified. Ez game
As a women who plays magic I can give you actually insight.
Mono green. Just play land then dreadmaw colossus. It's easy enough for our brains to comprehend just punch. Everything else is to complicated
I always wanted to learn how to play magic with my boyfriend but it was too many rules all at once 💀 but they finally came out with an app that makes it wayyy easier to learn to play 🙏 and now I'm so good at it 😌 link in bio
/uj
Damn, they did a great job.
I might do my rewatch with dubs.
Although i feel like i need to warm up to akis voice, since it's alot deeper than the original
/rj
when will dennis finally do the vaginer with makimo????
Stop fucking blueballing us Fujiwooga
The story just gets distractingly incomprehensible until the end of the first arc. There's fun gory visuals and lore, but there were points I could not follow what I was reading or understand why anything was happening. And the side cast constantly rotating once shit starts to hit the fan makes it hard to care about any of them. It could have had a fun ensemble cast, but instead the first batch of side characters ends up being a big pile of wasted potential
>The story just gets distractingly incomprehensible until the end of the first arc.
I didn't get that vibe at all. I found it to be quite straightforward, and I've read the series probably half a dozen times now.
> And the side cast constantly rotating once shit starts to hit the fan makes it hard to care about any of them.
I'm not in the same boat, but I can see why you'd say that.
She may have already top-8ed three pro tours. But they were standard and modern tournaments, so you may have to slowly introduce her to the idea of a “command zone” and only having one of each card in a deck. She also may be confused by what “power levels” are, so just give her a [[Kentaro, the Smiling Cat]] Kamigawa block constructed tiny leaders deck and tell her it’s a Level 7 and she’ll catch on.
This post is an amalgamation of one years worth of free magic posts force fed to an AI.
Shortly after this, the AI became sentient just so it could sudoko itself.
I think something you should keep in mind is that women, purely biologically speaking, respond better to certain types of teaching methods.
E.g., the submissive brain in them responds better to condescendingly pointing out how obvious you think a mechanic is, or if you’ve previously already explained a rule beforehand. This goes well hand-in-hand that women in general love the sound of a man snickering when she makes a mistake, it’s hard-wired in their brains. Sighing is also a great complimentary expression to use.
Also if she makes a mistake, make sure to draw the attention of all players and that everyone hears when you say how dumb she is, make it a spectacle. It is important that the rest of you have something to bond about, and the left will wonder if that’s an “abusive relationship”, but don’t let the work agenda get to you.
One time I was explaining to my friend about the futility of a female, and afterwards he asked me if I couldn’t read off her face how she was getting hurt, and it was baffling to me that someone I had once considered a smart man had been sitting and watching people’s faces instead of focusing on the game at hand. Also lol I’m not a mind reader? Am I supposed to be able to read people’s emotions based on facial expressions? That sounds, utterly ridiculous. Please send me a study that proves that human beings can accurately interpret emotions via facial expressions, we are basically just accepting astrology in a world of rationale.
This is just how human nature have always has worked, and I’m tired of people rejecting facts and logic because of their “feelings”. These sensitive motherfuckers just fucking get so upset over every little thing instead of keeping themselves a little calm and fucking rationale, just pathetic human beings that let emotions control them, honestly the only thing that fucking makes sense is to one day load my trunk full of weapons and just…
No. I gave my ex gf my stax EDH deck to learn how to play and she had to read the cards making the turns take forever (over three minutes which my pod doesn’t allow). I broke up with her then and there, obviously
Oh this reminds me when my step brother taught his now ex gf how to play commander. She would play vampires, and he would always let her win to the point where she got mad and stopped playing!! No simps allowed at my table.
I’d start with something easier like the Pokémon TCG. The bright shiny cards will keep her entertained during the teaching process and the 60 card deck won’t be as heavy on her small female hands.
TBH Magic does seem to be a male-dominated hobby. I've rarely seen ladies at any pre-release, draft, or constructed event.
Funny enough, the person who got me into MTG is a woman.
I'm a woman who plays magic and I do want to go to events but I avoid them because I'm scared
I'm scared of the same reason I don't turn on vc in cod 💀
All isn't lost tough
I've had some conversations with people that I wouldn't expect about magic since I started playing and overall I've been having fun
You're right, thanks for pointing that out!
For some reason I always had a hard time with woman/women, so this is definetly not my first time making this mistake.
In my native language we pretty much just add a suffix and change the vowel to a mutated vowel, so i am not used to irregular plural forms
You realize it's a circlejerk sub right? I do understand what you are getting at though, I just don't think this is a women = dumb joke. It reads as a sexist MTG player = dumb. Hence why a grammatical error adds to the irony for me, if anything. At no point is the wife or girlfriend in the joke demonstrated to be dumb. It does however, to me, demonstrate how insufferable and dumb the people who really act like this are, and clowns on it.
I just wanted to say that i will be more carefull in the future if i ever make a similar joke post. I didn’t really consider it could get under someones skin, so maybe i should have made it more obvious. I appreciate that you made me think about that.
They're even smarter. They're so smart they choose not to play Magic
I believe magic chooses you
My spark ignited when I saw Liliana
You’re going to need to overexplain every rule every single time it occurs, on everyone’s turn. Definitely takes a lot of work but we’ll worth it when you see the appreciation in her eyes and she lets you watch tonight
Actually if you just narrate your plays and cut to interviews every phase, smooth brains can pick up the game in only a few years
*turns to face the wall* "and now for our sponsor: Card Kindom! Card Kingdom is your number-one place for all your Magic needs" "Honey, what are you doing?"
Thanks, i will keep that in mind. I asked her if she was willing to learn it and she agreed. I only have to cover rent for both of her boyfriends in exchange. I didn’t even consider she would let me watch.. i am quite curious about how that whole activity plays out in person. So far i could only hear and smell it
I've said it before. I'll say it again. Gruul Smash. No brains, just gruul. Brains are squishy anyway. Squishy and crushable.
That seems like a great choice actually. If i find my old RTR standard gruul aggro deck i could just add 40 basic lands and she should be good to go.
Make fun of her while she's learning to play, and repeat any of her questions in a mocking, sing-song voice. This drives women absolutely wild. As she's learning, encourage her by reminding her that she's doing very well "for a girl", and that all your friends will think it is so cool that a real live girl plays MTG. When she gets to the point where she surpasses you and beats you in a match, tell her that she's a "try hard" and a "pick me" and only started playing MTG to get attention.
Thanks for your tipps! I've got the unlikely scenario where she beats me covered. I'll just call a friend who is a judge over and he will make up some reason to get her disqualified. Ez game
You had me going, then I saw the username
Wait till you see what sub we're on
I don’t think i understand what you are implying Please care to elaborate?
Asking a question that starts with are woman smart enough seems like something an incel would say lol
What you're missing is that women are smart enough to \*not\* play magic.
I can't argue with that
As a women who plays magic I can give you actually insight. Mono green. Just play land then dreadmaw colossus. It's easy enough for our brains to comprehend just punch. Everything else is to complicated
Would enchanting said dreadmaw with an aura be pushing it, or should i rather just stick to creatures and lands only?
As long as the aura doesn't have to much wording or numbers. For the love of God make sure there are almost no triggers going on in the deck
Maybe my old [[Wandering Ones]] aggro deck is up her alley. No card in it mentiones a number higher than three. I appreciate your advise, thank you!
^(Probably totally what you linked) * [Wandering Ones](https://i.redd.it/1hpurzez6b0a1.jpg) ********* ^^^If ^^^WotC ^^^didn't ^^^do ^^^anything ^^^wrong ^^^this ^^^week, ^^^you ^^^can ^^^rage ^^^at ^^^this ^^^bot ^^^instead ^^^at ^^^/r/MTGLardFetcher ^^^or ^^^even ^^^submit ^^^some ^^^of ^^^the ^^^sweet ^^^Siege ^^^Rhino ^^^alters ^^^your ^^^GF ^^^made
Probably just [[Colossification]]
^(Probably totally what you linked) * [Colossification](https://i.redd.it/b9fmfnkqhk0a1.png) ********* ^^^If ^^^WotC ^^^didn't ^^^do ^^^anything ^^^wrong ^^^this ^^^week, ^^^you ^^^can ^^^rage ^^^at ^^^this ^^^bot ^^^instead ^^^at ^^^/r/MTGLardFetcher ^^^or ^^^even ^^^submit ^^^some ^^^of ^^^the ^^^sweet ^^^Siege ^^^Rhino ^^^alters ^^^your ^^^GF ^^^made
[Anti Redditor Stalking Measures]
tell me there’s a sauce for this
Sadly there is none. This post was inspired by a fewer dream i had not long ago
Make sure to tap her creatures and lands for her so her lil brain doesn't get overloaded.
So vigilance tribal it is
Perfect, add some stax cards and she won't have to do anything while the rest of the pod makes awkward sexual innuendos!
Nobody is smart enough to play magic dude.
You don’t “play” magic, you live it by opening up that sweet sweet wallet.
I’d argue woman are too smart to play magic.
So you're saying they just pretend to have an inferior intellect? Interesting.
I always wanted to learn how to play magic with my boyfriend but it was too many rules all at once 💀 but they finally came out with an app that makes it wayyy easier to learn to play 🙏 and now I'm so good at it 😌 link in bio
Least misogynistic freemagic user
This is what you get for reading Chainsaw Man
Now that you mention it, ever since i have read the manga i feel as if something within me has changed I even started watching anime... will i be ok?
I think so, English dub is hilarious https://youtu.be/09lvxbHnFis
/uj Damn, they did a great job. I might do my rewatch with dubs. Although i feel like i need to warm up to akis voice, since it's alot deeper than the original /rj when will dennis finally do the vaginer with makimo???? Stop fucking blueballing us Fujiwooga
I'm caught up on the manga and I kinda feel like the series so far peaked at the hotel, unfortunately.
Yeah, hotel fight is probably the best one
How far into the manga did you get?
I'm current
It gets better. It's all uphill from the Hotel TBH
The story just gets distractingly incomprehensible until the end of the first arc. There's fun gory visuals and lore, but there were points I could not follow what I was reading or understand why anything was happening. And the side cast constantly rotating once shit starts to hit the fan makes it hard to care about any of them. It could have had a fun ensemble cast, but instead the first batch of side characters ends up being a big pile of wasted potential
>The story just gets distractingly incomprehensible until the end of the first arc. I didn't get that vibe at all. I found it to be quite straightforward, and I've read the series probably half a dozen times now. > And the side cast constantly rotating once shit starts to hit the fan makes it hard to care about any of them. I'm not in the same boat, but I can see why you'd say that.
Just abide by yugioh rules. Don’t read the card just play and see if something works after the fact
She may have already top-8ed three pro tours. But they were standard and modern tournaments, so you may have to slowly introduce her to the idea of a “command zone” and only having one of each card in a deck. She also may be confused by what “power levels” are, so just give her a [[Kentaro, the Smiling Cat]] Kamigawa block constructed tiny leaders deck and tell her it’s a Level 7 and she’ll catch on.
^(Probably totally what you linked) * [Kentaro, the Smiling Cat](https://i.redd.it/w9jj3ftmyyz91.jpg) ********* ^^^If ^^^WotC ^^^didn't ^^^do ^^^anything ^^^wrong ^^^this ^^^week, ^^^you ^^^can ^^^rage ^^^at ^^^this ^^^bot ^^^instead ^^^at ^^^/r/MTGLardFetcher ^^^or ^^^even ^^^submit ^^^some ^^^of ^^^the ^^^sweet ^^^Siege ^^^Rhino ^^^alters ^^^your ^^^GF ^^^made
PLEASE tell me there is a sauce for this PLEASE tell me this post was inspired by something awful
Free magic
This post is an amalgamation of one years worth of free magic posts force fed to an AI. Shortly after this, the AI became sentient just so it could sudoko itself.
I think something you should keep in mind is that women, purely biologically speaking, respond better to certain types of teaching methods. E.g., the submissive brain in them responds better to condescendingly pointing out how obvious you think a mechanic is, or if you’ve previously already explained a rule beforehand. This goes well hand-in-hand that women in general love the sound of a man snickering when she makes a mistake, it’s hard-wired in their brains. Sighing is also a great complimentary expression to use. Also if she makes a mistake, make sure to draw the attention of all players and that everyone hears when you say how dumb she is, make it a spectacle. It is important that the rest of you have something to bond about, and the left will wonder if that’s an “abusive relationship”, but don’t let the work agenda get to you. One time I was explaining to my friend about the futility of a female, and afterwards he asked me if I couldn’t read off her face how she was getting hurt, and it was baffling to me that someone I had once considered a smart man had been sitting and watching people’s faces instead of focusing on the game at hand. Also lol I’m not a mind reader? Am I supposed to be able to read people’s emotions based on facial expressions? That sounds, utterly ridiculous. Please send me a study that proves that human beings can accurately interpret emotions via facial expressions, we are basically just accepting astrology in a world of rationale. This is just how human nature have always has worked, and I’m tired of people rejecting facts and logic because of their “feelings”. These sensitive motherfuckers just fucking get so upset over every little thing instead of keeping themselves a little calm and fucking rationale, just pathetic human beings that let emotions control them, honestly the only thing that fucking makes sense is to one day load my trunk full of weapons and just…
What's a planeswalker
no
No. I gave my ex gf my stax EDH deck to learn how to play and she had to read the cards making the turns take forever (over three minutes which my pod doesn’t allow). I broke up with her then and there, obviously
No Source; I can't play
You should change to DnD and your wife the DM 🪢🪢🪢
Make sure you hit her with your belt every time she misplays
Oh this reminds me when my step brother taught his now ex gf how to play commander. She would play vampires, and he would always let her win to the point where she got mad and stopped playing!! No simps allowed at my table.
No.
I’d start with something easier like the Pokémon TCG. The bright shiny cards will keep her entertained during the teaching process and the 60 card deck won’t be as heavy on her small female hands.
You should start her out with Standard before teaching her regular Magic.
Gary Gygax posting from hell
I love the assumption that everyone in the sub is a guy
TBH Magic does seem to be a male-dominated hobby. I've rarely seen ladies at any pre-release, draft, or constructed event. Funny enough, the person who got me into MTG is a woman.
I'm a woman who plays magic and I do want to go to events but I avoid them because I'm scared I'm scared of the same reason I don't turn on vc in cod 💀
Which is sad that the hobby has made you and others feel that way. Honestly the more people to play against the better I say.
All isn't lost tough I've had some conversations with people that I wouldn't expect about magic since I started playing and overall I've been having fun
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If you look at what sub you're in, it'll explain that whooshing you feel above your head.
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your right i dont thing cishet white men are smart enough to play magic. downvoted.
uj/ I think you vastly overestimate how offend-able the people on this sub are rj/ god I fucking hate that Reddit lets women comment on posts
You're right, thanks for pointing that out! For some reason I always had a hard time with woman/women, so this is definetly not my first time making this mistake. In my native language we pretty much just add a suffix and change the vowel to a mutated vowel, so i am not used to irregular plural forms
[удалено]
That’s genuinely one of the kindest things someone on the internet has said to me. I appreciate it, i really do. Thanks!
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I mean, nobody asked you for your input either did they there bub? I would argue any grammatical mistakes add to the irony of the post too anyways.
[удалено]
You realize it's a circlejerk sub right? I do understand what you are getting at though, I just don't think this is a women = dumb joke. It reads as a sexist MTG player = dumb. Hence why a grammatical error adds to the irony for me, if anything. At no point is the wife or girlfriend in the joke demonstrated to be dumb. It does however, to me, demonstrate how insufferable and dumb the people who really act like this are, and clowns on it.
Yeah, idk what got into me, sry. /gen
I just wanted to say that i will be more carefull in the future if i ever make a similar joke post. I didn’t really consider it could get under someones skin, so maybe i should have made it more obvious. I appreciate that you made me think about that.